פודקאסט ״השראה״ פישל רוזנפלד | פרק #20

So, hello everyone. First thing, a round of applause for everything happening here. Usually, I would start from the end. I think that if there is one man or one woman here who lacks hope, and is going through (or he is going through) hard times right now, and he doesn't know what tomorrow will bring and has lost a bit of hope—I think the very presence of both of us on stage, and we will hear more shortly, is meant to give hope to every person who leaves here. And in my eyes, hope is the most important thing to start a new journey. So, Fishel, hello to you. >> Hello, good evening. >> Um, I could talk for an hour now about the revolution you've made, and the event you've created, and the path you've taken. But when I sat with you earlier on the side and you told me: Dudi, you can talk about everything, and when you say everything, it's about things people don't talk about, and when you say I am willing to lay myself on the table if there is one more person who can get value from it—that is very appreciated in my eyes, and I would like to go with you, first of all, to the beginning. Sitting here is a person who, whoever arrives at the hall now and sees Fishel Rosenfeld branding, plus or minus two, what a success, Binyanei HaUma, business coaching, 25%discount. If a person doesn't know and doesn't understand, he says wow, Fishel, it's probably God who touched him. But the truth is that you are a person who behind the scenes deals with even more than a regular person. Could it be said that you started at " minus thirty" from there, right? >> Unequivocally. Let's go back for a second and understand, and tell us a bit for those who don't know you. Um, where exactly did your difficult period in life begin? >> Wow, a challenging question, because difficulty is a relative matter. Meaning, what for me might be easy, could be for another person very difficult. >> But there are stories where it was difficult for everyone. For example, being on the street, and I don't think there is anyone for whom that is easy. >> Yes, I went through a very challenging childhood and from there I rolled onto the street, only instead of hanging around streets less suitable for the Haredi sector, I hung around Haredi streets and that's what kept me going. That means mostly sleeping in synagogues at what age? At what age are you sitting in synagogues? >> 17, 18, 19. >> And everyone feels sorry and says... >> Like, not all three years, I just don't remember the exact ages. One of the things that happened to me is that you could say I forgot, probably due to repression, a great deal of what I went through; that is, if I try today to build some sort of board, some sort of... Chronology of everything I went through , I myself would get confused between the dates and the years and things wouldn't add up. Meaning it would look like a fictional story. >> Like part of a repression mechanism. >> Right. >> You just... Tried to forget and forgot certain things in order to not forget. >> Right. And if I understand correctly... Soon we will understand the path, but until today, meaning while you are sitting with me, while you are going home, you are dealing with a difficulty , some kind of post-trauma that another person does not deal with. Right? >> I think many people deal with this. People try to hide it and talk about it less, think about it less. It’s also a form of repression. I mean, in the Haredi community, unlike in the general public, being a person with mental health struggles is still a sort of stigma, something that I don’t know, will ruin marriage prospects for the kids, they won’t get into school, all sorts of opinions that are sometimes , by the way, true. That our community is simply less equipped to deal with it. >> Why do you agree to expose this? >> Like you said, I think I see it; people tell me that because they see me, they have the strength to handle all sorts of situations. And I think it will provide value to people. So if I can be the messenger, why not? >> I think a person deserves applause for being willing to expose themselves for the person sitting next to them. At 15, 16, 17, let's go for a second, let's try to go in a slightly chronological order. How do you take your first steps out of great difficulty, and you really went through family difficulty too. Can I say something here? I know your life story a little bit, and I told him, "Tell me what not to talk about." And this is the first time someone says to me, "You can talk about everything." And sitting here is a person who is also in total family alienation. >> Almost, except for my mother. >> Except for your mother. I mean, your siblings, family, there was a complex family incident with your father and you are disconnected from the family as well. >> Right. >> Just so you understand, all of this is happening in parallel to building a very , very special career. Everyone asks, "How did he manage?" Everyone talks about him, everyone, that . I mean, in parallel to all the difficulty you carry, you take actions that are stronger than a normal person. >> Oh, you could say that these actions are what keep me going. I mean, it's also a form of escape. I mean, all the work, the career, and everything—it's focusing on the positive things instead of dealing with the negative. One could look at it that way, and then it's, like, positive. Here is a person pursuing the good things and choosing, of his own volition , less to deal with what might be weighing on him. On the other hand, there are those who might argue that it’s not right because one day it will blow up in your face, and a little of that too, and I don't know what—you know, in the end, PTSD, especially complex PTSD, is an event. Okay? >> What is PTSD for those who don't know? By the way, are you feeling it right now ? At this moment? >> Yes. >> Is it here with us? >> Yes. It means pressure in the chest, it means muscles tightening, it means sometimes it's already to the level where you literally feel like you're choking. >> Wow. >> It's sometimes flashbacks, it's all sorts of things that many people deal with. Some of them don't know how to define it , some try not to define it. Uh. >> Where does the strength come from to do the things that a normal person wouldn't dare do? If you have such a weight of post-trauma , where do you draw the strength to sit here with me now? To think of such an idea, to open ticket sales? >> That’s what gives me the strength. I mean, first of all, my work is not standard work. Okay? Uh, you know what? Let’s start with this event. Okay? This event is not an economic event. I mean, it is an economic event in the sense that it’s an economics conference. But it’s not a financial venture for an entrepreneur who says, "I'll do an event and I want to profit from it," you don't profit from an event. >> You don't make money from this event. >> This event costs more than 500 shekels to produce. People paid for tickets here , even if there were 1,000 people, and there aren't because the safety engineer cut 130 seats. Still, 1,000 people, the official ticket price without coupons was 240, do the math yourself. So, some sponsorships and that, you don’t profit from it. >> So why do you do it as a financial advisor? >> Well, the answer is, call it my medication budget. I have medications that are off the subsidized list. >> Wow. >> Okay? Uh, there is, uh... >> We are here, the medication of, uh, of Fishel. >> Yes. I feel my work is a calling to help people. And the satisfaction that gives you, it keeps you alive. I mean, sometimes clients think they’re helping you because they’re providing for you, because you live thanks to them, because I don’t know what. But the event isn't the money. The event is the very fact that a family comes to you for the fifth meeting at the end of the process and says, " Listen, in the last month of the pilot, this and that happened, and we succeeded and reached the goal." Sometimes it comes more easily, sometimes it’s harder, sometimes you need to have more follow-up meetings, and it's tough. And there are also cases that don't succeed, that you, or even where the client at some level might even curse you: "I paid you a lot of money and didn't pull me out of the mud," or, I had a client who stopped the process in the middle because, according to him, he didn't receive added value and he already knew everything. Now, I won’t go into details, but ultimately, during the process, he made changes to his insurance, made changes to his investments, made changes to many things. If he knew everything, why didn't he do it before? I mean, in the end, there’s this thing where you come to a financial process not because you’re helpless and not because you don't know. Not because someone needs to educate you . You come to a financial process to create some sort of commitment for yourself to carry out the actions. I mean, when you have a meeting in your calendar, you have to show up, and by the way, that’s also how it is in my own life. What holds me, if you asked me earlier, is that I have a meeting in the calendar now, that a couple calls, "We’re at the office, where are you?" And then I have no choice, I have to get out of bed. >> I mean, you’re in bed and... >> No, not all the time, don’t exaggerate, but yes, I am between meetings, resting quite a lot, it requires that of me. I, uh, like to illustrate it in the form of weights. When a normal person holds a 5-kilo weight, I hold it, and I feel like I'm holding a ton. Okay? I mean, the same weight feels much heavier to me. It means my energy runs out faster, so you need a lot of breathing room. If I have a sequence of meetings one after the other, I’ll simply collapse for two days. I mean, there’s no—I must have breaks, I have to. And I built myself a schedule that allows me to do it in a relatively, let's call it, systematic way. And when I grew, what I did was simply bring in excellent consultants under me who are sitting right here outside. Because I understood I have a certain threshold of capacity where I must stop . So I raised my coaching prices, and my usual price moved to them, so I actually lowered my own volume; the goal wasn't just to get bigger. >> Do you get less tired from meetings where your consultants are sitting in? >> Exactly. >> I know there was a person who helped you , right? There were good angels along the way. Uh. >> There were many good angels, I can say modestly. And what these good angels did was, let's call it, "feeding the crocodiles. " Meaning, "You don't want to help yourself? So do this, and do this, and do this, and do this." >> That didn't really help, did it? >> Exactly. People want to feel like they're helping , so they try to be the ones leading you on your supposedly new path, but what they're actually doing is trying to change you. And you can't change a person. If there is one thing that interests me in financial coaching for families, it's that I need to find a solution for the family in their own way, their own style , their own capabilities. Now, it doesn't always succeed. I had a client who, by the way, was at the previous conference; I tried to bring him to this one, but he refused because his wife didn't really get along with the budget management method I gave them in the fourth meeting. Now, for me, that's a failure, but it’s not really a failure; I mean, that person was supposed to come back to me for a fifth meeting and say, "It's not working," and then I would have had to invent an alternative solution. I mean, ultimately, the work is about tailoring something to a person that fits their ability and their path. You can't educate a person. If I try to force you, for example, to cut back on your vacation budget and not post stories, you'll simply stop listening to me. Okay? It doesn't work. You need your stories; nothing will help. >> That's also my medication budget. >> Yes. So, the goal—the way is to find a suitable vacation budget and find the resources for it. I mean, eventually, if I identify someone—apropos the medication budget—I go on vacations more than a standard family because, again, my energy runs out faster, and I fly abroad at least twice a year. You could say I'm a bad example, I don't go barefoot, you can say many things, but it's part of my needs. Okay? And in these processes, I try to stick as much as possible to the family's needs. Meaning, don't tell them what to do, but rather tell them how to do it. >> You know, we talked earlier about the subject of helping without limits, or, I mean, there are people who think that if they give their child unlimited financial support, they will succeed. And I can share something about my life that I’ve never told: that I was the youngest child who constantly received help, from my father and my father and my father, and the more help I received , the more I got into trouble. And the day I realized the faucet had run dry, the faucet was turned off, and it was a very, very sad day to pay rent for the first time, for something I had never paid rent for in my life. On that day, when I took my last money and paid the rent, that was the day I started earning money. And you told me earlier that the people who did help you... They didn't give you money, they gave you something else. Please elaborate on that. >> The one who helped me most in life, and still helps me (a kind of, let's call it , foster family), is a man who, to put it mildly, is a multi-millionaire. So I can stay at his place for Shabbat, and my daughter can call him grandma and grandpa and so on, but he never gave me money—except for Purim when he hands it out to everyone—but generally, he never gave me a shekel. >> What did he give you, then? >> Well, he met me on the street, and I was in a period where I loved to play the victim and tell everyone how messed up my story was, how complicated my life was, and, you know, there’s a stage where you get tired of being a victim because you suddenly get lots of hugs and pity, and it feels like it pays to be a victim. And then I dumped it all on him, and one day he approached me and said, "Listen, I rented a storage unit for you," it was some kind of hole, he bought me five sets of clothes, and told me, "Get dressed, stay at my house." And that's it, do whatever you want— sleep, work, study, don't. >> The opposite of all the other angels who only told you what you were doing wrong and where you weren't okay. >> What happened was that all the others, for example, would tell a person who has no home, no clothes, and nothing: "Go get a job." Okay, go work, walk a kilometer, they’ll fire me after two days. If I go to work without sleeping, they’ll fire me. If I go to study, I’ll drop out of the framework. There isn't really an option to do anything. What he did was give me tools, but limited ones. Meaning, you are responsible for your situation. When my daughter was born and I met him , he said to me: " >> Know that this is the best investment you can make." I’m talking right now about someone who invests millions. But yes. Why, why is that? Why does his investment work? And what can we learn for our own investments? >> I think that... It’s a lot of divine assistance. Okay? Let's start with that. But beyond that, it’s mostly willpower. And yes, mainly because he didn't give me [money]. That is to say, I also tell this to the families who come to me. >> If he were to give you >> Parents come to me and say, "I want you to coach my son; he's constantly draining me of money, help, and I just want him to stop draining me of money." I’d rather invest one time in a coaching process so he stops draining me of money . A brilliant solution. >> And excellent. >> I tell these parents that it simply won't work. >> It won't work. >> It won't work, and what happens is that such processes are the worst, least successful ones. A couple needs to pay for it themselves , even if they don't have a cent and have debt collectors, no matter what, they must pay every cent of the financial coaching process. If he isn't paying it, you can give it to him as a loan, that's fine. But there must be a defined payment schedule for them to pay it. Meaning, ultimately, a person who gets everything on a silver platter won't make a change because they don't truly have Any interest or any desire to change, and they also didn't pay a price. The moment you don't pay a price, you don't >> Blood, sweat, and tears, literally. >> Exactly. >> Tell me, when you look at what's happening here and you see people sitting, having cleared seven hours of their lives, paid money, do you say, " Wow, look at the success?" >> I say >> Next year, Ussishkin. >> Wow. You have, parallel to everything, you have me constantly driven forward. >> Driven forward. >> And basically, that's hope for every person here who doesn't have the energy to get up in the morning. I really say, take what's happening here now. >> Let me, let me put it to you this way. When I coach families, I often tell them I'm like a driving instructor. I accompany them, teach them when they need to hit the brakes, and when not to . But in the end, they are the ones driving on the road, not me. I don't replace them. And so on. Now, that same metaphor can be used for this topic as well. What I do is simply look forward, okay? If you drive a car and look at the steering wheel, you'll have an accident . There's nothing you can do about it. To drive smoothly, you must see the horizon. You have to look straight ahead. You have to see, see the future, see the future, see the potential, see the change that can be created. Okay? This isn't some slogan from I actually enjoy Eitan Azaria, but this isn't some mental coach's slogan. It's really about looking forward and understanding that the possibilities are limitless. I think that for national matters, it's enough to say limitless possibilities. And I did it in a relatively short time . Meaning, although I've been in the financial field for over a decade, as a family financial advisor, even though I look like some old man sitting with a huge firm, I've only been coaching families for three years. And yes, I managed to coach more than 2,000 families in that time, mainly because of courses I gave, but I think that when you stay on it and set a goal, you can definitely succeed. And yes, it's mainly focus, it's focus. >> I think that everyone here has no justification not to go out tomorrow and conquer the world. And I can tell you that, for example regarding me , sitting here with you right now requires 20 kilos of energy from me. It used to take me a lot more. I’ve learned in life that when you do, when you step out of your comfort zone for the first time it’s very, very, very hard; the second time it’s very, very hard. At a certain stage, it feels uncomfortable to return to the comfort zone. That is already, that is the zone and that is basically the message I tell myself, and I think you tell yourself, and everyone here needs to, because everyone has their own comfort zone where it’s easiest to sit at home on the couch and babble about the news, and there is the option to go out and talk about things. And I want to go with you to this subject. >> Your worries, the news. >> The worries remain. And that is my comfort zone, but I want to talk to you about a subject you mentioned. I asked you before, a family that comes to you, I’m sure there is one person here whose situation is a disaster. A disaster, and just >> Everyone has their own baggage; everyone feels like their situation is the absolute worst, unequivocally. >> What is the first step they need to take ? >> You will go to a person, if he talks to you, yeah, he will always tell you, " Here I’m in trouble, here I’m this." I can tell you even more than that, before this conference I talked about it in a lecture earlier. We did a study, and at the end of the study there were open-ended questions. One of the questions was, what do you regret the most? People who, in the money questions, said they have money, regretted most the investments they made. >> Wow. >> A failed real estate deal, a failure of this, a failure of that. People who don’t have money constantly complained about regrets for things they didn't do, for not realizing a profit on an apartment they didn't sell, for an investment they didn't make, for not managing to start saving for their kids 'weddings at a young age. Meaning, they constantly regretted what they didn't do. In other words, people always regret. And I think that this is something that on one hand is part of human nature, but it is something we need to learn from, that we don't have to regret. Yeah? We can look forward, and true, repressing everything is not exactly the solution, but to know that there is also something that can happen, there is potential, there are possibilities. >> What is the first step? A person is sitting here now and says, "Okay, I understood, I understand it will require energy from me, I’m willing to pay the price. If he did it, I can too." What is the first step to get out of the pit? >> Well, "pit" is a very, very big word. Ah, it’s >> A person says, "Tomorrow my checks are bouncing, I’m fed up with juggling." >> The first thing is you call the bank and tell them, "Tomorrow you are going to return a check for me." You don’t wait for it to bounce. >> Wow. >> The bank likes it when you speak to them honestly, and they’ll also offer a solution because, in the end, that’s how they make a living—they make a living from the interest they’re going to earn from you. They have an interest in giving you a loan. They just want to know: A, that you are an honest and reliable person, and B, that you have a clear plan for how you’ll pay this loan back. Once you know where you’re paying it from and you explain it to the bank with numbers—it doesn’t matter if it’s pay stubs, a profit and loss statement, or a trial balance—the bank says, "Okay , this makes sense, the person is having a cash flow crisis, we'll solve it for them and make a profit on the interest. " Okay? People who suppress this—speaking of improper suppression—and let it happen, the bank says, "A check bounced yesterday, he’s probably an irresponsible person, I won’t give him a loan for three years." >> A conversation the day before versus a conversation the day after is like night and day. >> Yes, it’s three years of damage to your credit report. And I had a couple—they might even be sitting here, they were here at least— who, with a heavy heart, and it doesn't happen often, I wanted them to sell their apartment. And one of the reasons was that their mortgage payments were bouncing for a very long time; I know they have no way to handle it cash-flow-wise, and I also know that even if they improve their income and increase it like crazy and everything, the bank won’t give them any option to refinance the mortgage or handle the situation, because that’s it , they’re burned for three years out. And a person like that... You can’t hold onto a property in that state. Meaning, if that person had dealt with the arrears before that and called the bank and said, "Listen, I was fired from my job, I have no money, please give me a four-month mortgage freeze." A four-month freeze is a lot. No, it doesn't come easily; sometimes you need the connections of a good consultant. But it is something the bank would do. Meaning, the bank understands that a mortgage is a 30-year loan and, in the end, there is always some tough period in between. >> So, talk about things, talk to the bank , face reality, and look at the ruin. >> Look, look in the mirror. >> Talk about things. >> Be direct, okay? Which is what we’re doing right now, by and large. I think that... >> You gain nothing if you close your eyes . >> No, unequivocally no. >> No, it might be pleasant for a moment, but... It explodes in your face. >> With compound interest. Second stage: a person called the bank, they have a problem now, after all, he ... >> Well, I don’t think I’m here to market myself, but yes, he needs a financial advisor. >> A financial advisor, to look at proposals, income. >> Need to see why it happened. Meaning, the fact that a check suddenly reaches a point where it's about to bounce means something in the conduct before that wasn't right. You need to locate the source of the bleeding or the source of the problem and treat it. To get there, he will first have to start by tracking all the transactions that have happened until today, to identify if there is any pattern of something improper. Usually, he won't find it because he lives, everyone lives in their own bubble. I also live in my bubble, meaning if I let someone external check my financial conduct, they would also find problems. That's how it is, it's human nature. We cannot see our own faults because, for us, it is part of—I mean, we turn a want into a need. We turn an impulse into consumption. That’s how our brain is conditioned. Find a little kid who wants something; he won't tell you, "Dad, I want Bamba." He will tell you, "Dad, I need Bamba." Okay? It always happens, and by the way , you can learn a lot, a lot about psychology from children. Put two bottles, one of water and one of cola; see where the kid runs. Put two bags, a rustling bag of potato chips and a regular food bag; see where he runs. There is a lot of psychology in these things—marketing psychology, consumer psychology—that the best minds have worked on, and we as humans get confused . And therefore We need someone external to track and identify something that is not right, even though we might be experts in economics, and that is the place of a financial advisor; it can sometimes be a family member or I don't know what, but we must be willing to hear and change. And when you locate it, you will usually pinpoint the leak, and then you have to start treating it. >> The people here have heard a whole day of lectures from here and there, tons and tons of information. What do you want people to leave here with today? If you have to choose one thing. >> I think people should leave with the understanding that The future is ahead of them. That they have Unlimited possibilities and no one is standing in their way, and even if it seems that way in practice, I think you —I won't speak for myself, but I think you are a classic example of how one can go from a place of—I don't know if you want to talk about it—severe addiction and complex challenges to a place of, let's call it, hidden potential. So possibilities, unlimited possibilities. >> I can—I can—I can tell you why he is sitting here now and talking about his things? Why is he sitting here now and willing to say things that people don't say? It’s only because he is sitting on such a glorious stage and he has—it already becomes a beautiful story. And that is what I tell people; I can go back to a certain moment in my life that you talked about, where you had an apartment, where they gave you a small apartment to live in, they also gave me a small office to live in without a shower. Think of a grown man, already 25 or 27, suddenly separated with three kids, doing drugs, drinking alcohol, in a very , very deep addiction, and they give him a small office to live in, to the point where I had to wake up in the morning, sleeping there was forbidden, so I couldn't go out to the bathroom at night so as not to trigger the alarm. I would wake up in the morning and head out as if I were in the middle of the day finishing a business meeting. Think of massive debts, addictions, divorce, everything, everything, everything. And I said to myself, "Dudi, that's it, you've ruined everything, there's no coming back from here." I am a person who, by nature, came with a great deal of self-destruction. I remember I had some kind of insight in my head, that the Holy One, blessed be He, gave me a flash of a thought. I said to myself, "Wait, if, after all, if a miracle happens and God parts the Red Sea and you get out of this place, then I will be able to look people in the eye and tell them: you can do it." And I had this imagination that the book I would write would start with the saddest and most horrible chapter. And just the thought that maybe somehow there would be a chance I'd get out of it, it gave me strength, and so today, when I am, thank God, after years of truly miracles upon miracles, parting of the Red Sea after parting of the Red Sea , people who are going through hard times turn to me, I don't get panicked. Like, >> By the way, I have that trait too. I became emotionally detached. It's part of some defense mechanism, but you can talk to me about death, about illnesses, about anything. >> You've been through it all? >> No, I haven't been through that, I haven't been through death, okay? But in the end, when they tell me someone even relatively close has died, I'm less... >> Did you have to become that emotionally detached in order to survive? >> Yes. To survive. >> Uh, but... >> What what were the hard things you went through? Can can we hear? Since we're already in a conversation ... >> Again, we're returning to the point I made before, "hard" becomes relative. Uh, it's not... >> This, did they beat you? >> Also. >> You experienced that too? >> Also, yes. But again, uh, there are people whose livelihood is beating people, you know. Uh, people who get rich and I don't know what. So again, everything "hard" and "easy" becomes relative. Uh, but yes, I went through complex things. Uh, but I think that is less the subject , the subject is, uh, how to move forward, not how to dwell on the past. >> Meaning, from your perspective, it doesn't matter what you've been through ... You can succeed. >> I have no choice, I must succeed. >> That's the sentence: I have no choice, I must succeed. >> It's part of, as I said, looking forward , but it's also part of a kind of, let's call it, a survival war. I created for myself a mechanism where I have to constantly prove to everyone that I am good and that I am excellent and that I am this and that. Uh, let's also call it a type of revenge against everyone who hurt me. Uh, look, I succeeded. I think sometimes you can take things that are relatively negative, like what I just said, and turn them into positives. >> At the end of the day, that’s the trigger. >> True. >> That’s the motivation. >> True. >> And I want to add something here. Anyone who has been through >> It’s like all those people after the Holocaust—forgive the comparison—had many children, and it was to prove that Hitler didn’t succeed. Meaning, at the end of the day, we want to prove that we can. And I think everyone needs to take two or three things for themselves, tasks, and tell themselves, "I want to succeed in this and that and prove to everyone that I can." I don’t think it’s a shame to be in a place where I say, "Yes, I want to prove it to everyone, yes, I have an ego, yes , I have a kind of desire" to be more. I don't think it’s a problem, I think it’s an advantage. >> I also think that the hardship, no matter where you are today, once you get out of it, the story will be beautiful. Meaning afterward, you will be proud of all the hardships you went through. That will actually be your story. And therefore, even if your situation today—I’m telling you, someone reached out to me this week, a woman reached out to me, and she tells me, "I am in a situation where I am one moment away from suicide." Literally those words she said to me. I don't know how she ended up talking to me, but I told her, "Know that no matter how difficult your situation is, when you get out of it, you’ll be proud to tell it." Because your story will be even more beautiful. And that is why this conversation strengthens me too. No excuses. >> Unequivocally. >> No excuses, huh? >> I mean, there are, but when there are excuses it usually comes from a lack of desire to deal with reality. >> Another point I want to talk to you about is tasks. Because you—I can see in how I conduct business with you, for example, you pay me in advance for things ahead of time. That is not a common thing in the industry; usually, people are chasing others. You are one of those people who execute tasks very efficiently, so give some tips to people, because in my opinion, people fall into the trap of procrastination—of putting off tasks— based on your life experience. >> First of all, I have things that I >> I am a task-oriented person. >> I am a task-oriented person, and yet I also have struggles; I’ll give you an example. For instance, this week I had a client I’m advising, he sent me two relatively long voice messages on WhatsApp, and for some reason, I wasn't in the mood to be able to listen to a voice message. I wrote to him, "Write to me," and he tells me—he writes to me, " Listen to it later." And he was, of course, hurt that I didn't listen later ; he felt I wasn't paying attention to him, that I wasn't providing him service . I realized it in time, I just immediately turned to another consultant in my office and said to her, "Check what he wants and reassure him that I’m not neglecting him," something like that . But I think that client felt something that was a result of my own struggle, okay? Meaning, I don't execute every single task. There are things that are sometimes hard for me too, I'm human. But yes, I have this thing where because success is very important to me, what happens is that I'm constantly running, I'm always in a marathon. I don't stop for a second, I mean, we decided >> As if you're being chased. >> If you could ask the partners from the Urban Renewal Association, I drove them crazy about this conference back in June , we are talking about almost half a year ago. They told me, "What do you want from us?" The ultra-Orthodox close an event a week before, where are you? Where are they? What does that have to do with anything? And I think that's the story, I'm always running, for me I already see what will be in six months and a year and it has to happen now and it has to run now. I can drive my graphic designer crazy at 12:00 at night because I urgently need her to do something for me, and then her husband has to tell me that she's collapsing. And like, it’s ultimately, there’s no ... >> I saw, I sent a message, I sent a message to Pisha a while ago that I'm sorry, I can't be at the event. No chance, soul, my brother, you will be at the event. I came here from aviation sciences, broadly speaking. And it truly testifies...I can tell you something personal from my life, and you really need to say thank you very much to all those people who hurt us. Because their hurts, their lack of belief in us...know that he who laughs last, laughs best. People didn't believe in you? Great, you have more fuel. People belittled you? You have someone else to prove it to, and in the end, you have to say thank you very much, because if in the end they had hugged you nicely, Pish, and given you everything you need... >> Want, by the way, I'll give you a scoop . >> Yeah? >> When I was a guy in 9th grade, like a kid still at Bar Mitzvah age, and also in 10th grade at the Yeshiva Ketana, I wrote study booklets, and basically, potentially, had I not gone through what I went through, I would probably be some Kollel fellow today. Okay, I wouldn't be... >> Which is, that's a very high thing, it's not a bad thing. >> Exactly. >> Maybe it's even better than sitting and engaging in Torah. >> That's the alternative script, but apparently, God wanted otherwise and steered me to a different place. >> I once saw a lecture by one of the world's greatest mentors who simply takes people who are stuck on what their father did to them and stuck on what their mother did to them, at age 40 still stuck, and says, "Pick up the phone to your father and tell him,' Father... '" >> By the way, you made quite a bit of history with your father. >> True, true, true, true, and it's also a sensitive subject, father, true, true. >> With me? >> With you, I'm sorry that... >> You don't want to talk about your father ? >> First you... >> Uh. >> We have, we have two minutes to the end , so tell us the...actually, actually, I ...I went on a journey with my father. Hm. >> You are a role model, by the way, when it comes to honoring parents. I don't think you're a role model. >> It's not enough, it's not enough, it's not enough, but truly, what I learned from my father—I'll say it briefly—when I was at…many know my story, when I was with a graphologist, he told me: "You need to hug your father 10 times, a one-minute hug each time." And go tell a Gur Hasid to go hug his father for a full minute. It’s at a level where it would be easier for me to just come and do a*kazatska* dance for you here, and I've never danced in my life. And when I approached my father, it was very, very hard for him, and he told me no. We don't do things like that. But I did it, and I convinced him, and we did it with great suffering. With great suffering, it was trauma. And I thought it was the stupidest thing I’d ever done in my life. But seven years passed, and at his lowest point, my father called me, picked up the phone and said to me: "Do you remember that hug from back then?""Can you give me another one?" And then I learned that every human being needs a hug. >> Wow. >> But, and it’s truly, it's not simple and it’s very hard, and if you told me to do it now, to go back and do it again, I wouldn't be able to. Because a child who grew up in that environment, which doesn't exist today—it's different, the world is more developed today—but honestly, it's not simple, not simple. But you haven't done that, that, that repair yet, right? >> Not yet. >> Not yet, not yet. >> Um, I don't know if he really believes it or not. My father, because of all kinds of stories being told, is serving a very long prison sentence. >> Wow. >> And according to him, I am behind this blood libel. >> Wow, wow. >> So that’s part of the reason for all the family alienation as well. Um. >> Wow. >> And yes, it's complicated. And actually, this moment is the proof that no matter what you carry with you in life, no matter what challenges stand before you, maybe they are even the fuel for you to break forward. Right? >> Yes, in a certain sense, I don't know, I don't know if they have a broadcast of this conference in prison, but I think, I think that when he sees this podcast, it will give him some peace. That despite everything. >> And God willing, we—I believe that in plus or minus 3, God willing, there needs to be an update. There needs to be good news. So God willing, there will be good news on this subject as well. And thank you very much to everyone. Fishel, thank you very much to you. Thank you very much for combining business consulting with providing for your home, and with opening up. I'm not used to that, it's very rare. And learn one thing for life: opening up creates… People think that if they meet others and tell them "I did this and I did this and I did this" and "I have this and I have this," no, they won't like you. My father told me, "If they are jealous of you, they don't love you." He drove a beat-up car and said to me, "Dudi, let them not be jealous of you." So, want a small task for life? Meet someone, tell them what you are going through. See, everything he does is not to distance himself from you, he is simply telling you what he is going through because everyone goes through something, and when one person drives in a car with a friend, good things happen . Thank you all very much.