3 parenting phrases that backfire #parenting #raisingkids

Number one, what will people think? That's a great way to make someone who's a people pleaser with no internal moral compass, somebody who just does things because it's popular or expedient, someone with no backbone. We always warn our kids, don't succumb to peer pressure, but it seems like very often the parents are the ones who are succumbing to the peer pressure. Don't tell your kid, what will people think? Teach your kid right from wrong and you do things because they are aligned with your value system, not because of how other people will react. Number two worst piece of advice you can give your kid, well, you be the bigger person. That's so dangerous because it sounds virtuous. It sounds like we're choosing peace, but really very often what it is is a parent wants to get rid of the conflict and the easiest way to deal with it is just to tell your kid to give in. That makes the problem go away for you as a parent, but it doesn't teach your child life skills. Yeah, sometimes it's important to be super flexible and to just let things go. That's an important thing to know how to do, but when that becomes a child's personality, that they think the virtuous way to respond to all conflict is to just roll over, you may be buying some quiet for yourself because you're making the conflict go away in the short term, but you're really doing your child a disservice in the end because this is a child who's not going to have boundaries, who's not going to stick up for himself and ultimately not be able to accomplish the things in this world that your child was sent to this world to accomplish. And the number three worst advice that a parent can give a child and I hear parents say this to their children so often is, you can be anything [clears throat] you want to be. Really? Is that true? Sounds nice. It's not really honest. Do you even believe that when you're saying that? Would you even want it to be true even in theory? How about we say this which is more accurate and more helpful. You can be everything that your maker made you to be. You can be the fullest and best version of yourself. You can take the gifts that God gave you and use them to the fullest. That's more honest. That's more helpful.