5 Things That Actually Matter in Avodat Hashem

toeshan sponsors of the is by Tina Tobin for a complete by the Finn for Basara and anonymous anonymously for Zivagunal we have pages here we're starting a new peric today whoever needs deta we have a beautiful new peric A short peric we're going to be seeing today to remind us all where we were last time. The last thing we began was a peric and a hashem. How to know hashem das of hashem. We had a lot of amazing things coming up in that per of the rabbi. Today what we're going to be seeing is something that's more [clears throat] I would say uh thank you mapped out mapped out there's something to we could map this out very clearly based on the ram based on the msarm we all want seder in our lives I think I'm under the impression we want seder in our lives I don't know what do you say boys >> for sure I'm p >> I'll be here all start >> I'll be here all day you That's that usually he waits and say no no today we want today we want a little bit of seder I want to make a little bit of order in things there's something that when I could put things into place to get the to get the mar the the complete state of of frantic mishagas that's usually going on in our minds with all the things we have to do think about all the things you have to do just today when comes to vodatem where does you start where do you begin let's try to get it mead let's try to get a say there today there's all these different parts of audem a lot of things fall under a hashem so let's look this is the beginning of of in the intro to the writes like this usually serving hashem is divided into three five different parts. So this is divided. We see this through the tells us in five different things alitvas keeping all the mitzvah. You thought he was going to start off easy. He's starting off right at the top. the ones I have to stay the things in life I have to stay away from and the things in life I have to do good included and this is the mitzvah of Torah that's keeping all the mitzvah loving having the fourth thing what does that that when you're doing something you're fully in. You're all in. Just like right now in you're either all in or you're not. Dining. You're either all in or you're not. Shabas, you're either all in or you're not. Sammy's here, so I'm trying not to get like really triggered, but you're either all in or you're not. Right? You're either all in or you're not. That's what it means. My heart is fully in it. Fully. I'm in a program. I'm either fully in or I'm not. He ends off here. He's saying, you know what means, right? You're not jumping. You're not holding in two places at once. What's that? >> I'm trying to multitask. >> Yeah. Tell it to like anti multitasking. Uh we're always trying to do two things at once or three things at once. uh like you know dafomi kadusha and making sure the guy next like you know a bunch of things together at once it's like the most incredible thing is that I'm fully in my heart's fully and I'm shing with it hey that was four hey the fifth thing fixing our midot cleansing ourselves from the things that we know we have to cleanse I want to give a quick recap what are the five parts of hashem first of all keeping all the tora mitzvah. Second of all, loving God. Third of all, being in awe of Hashem. Fourth of all, being allin. Five, consciously working on my midot. Yeah. Enough. What are you going to say? >> No, I was going to say [snorts] it's it's awesome the way he laid it out. That's like first of first do everything you're supposed to do before you get to how you feel about doing llama be. Why? Why did he say that? >> Say, "No, I don't this doesn't feel real. I don't want to do this. I don't connect." First do >> that's what everyone says to me. No, I want to, you know, I grew up. Everyone told me I have to do this, do that. Now I want to feel. I want to feel it and then I'll do it. Can you imagine that? If we would have said nishma, we would not have gotten the Torah. Like we we we got the Torah because of what Napali just brought up. We got the Torah because we didn't say I'm not going to wait till I feel. I'm I'm all in. I'm first I'm keeping everything. I'm I have to keep everything. That's that's how it starts. This according to the Ramal is The five parts of a Okay. Second paragraph. Any other questions so far? >> Yeah, I'm not 100% sure, but the puk speaking he's referring to. I could be wrong, but I think it's in reverse order because we're just talking about how the order matter. I think it it mentions the mitzvah after >> it mentions year of first. Yeah. It's true. He brings it here and in his this own sailor. It's true >> because the puss saying where we ultimately want to get we ultimately want to get the place of here or not. But like the way to get there isn't by saying I want it's not by saying by saying I want to be at the motion first then first do the work and you'll get to that place that wants us to >> it's true but what Sam is saying is also true. Meaning the order is is not is reversed over here. It is >> that's the of the Yeah. 100%. by Mosher Rabenu. It says it like that. >> Okay. But maybe he'll explain a little bit clearer why why he does it like this. But I think that what you said is already sheds a lot of light on this whole matter [clears throat] in the in the in the explained there. Okay. Now this is why we're here. Every piece over here, every piece of this puzzle needs it. You got to put in the work. You got to put in the work in order to be it in order for it to make a kenyan on it. Now, like for instance, a lot of people go to but their phone's on their lap or in their pocket half the time and they're wondering, I don't know. I don't I don't really feel it. I don't really remember what's going like that's exactly what the what the inion is is like it's got to be you got to be fully in otherwise it won't you won't make it put it like this you won't make a kenyan on it you may be able to to to to say a vort but we want to make him on what we learn you want to make a kenyan on you want to make a kenyan on shakus right now you want to make a kenyan on these things now he uses a word here that the psor uses all over and throughout this farm. And that what does anyone anyone see the word we just said? Very good. What's hacks tricks? >> You got to come up. What's that? >> Council wise, >> right? But in a in a meaning in a in a in a tricky way like each of us have our own hacks. Like I have friends that they've they only their wives know the password to unlock the security Wi-Fi for instance like that. You know what I mean? Like only their wives have the have the code that you could put in in order to access certain websites that you need like in times of like transfers, banks. Other than that, it's fully locked. It's fully locked up. That's a that's a little bit that that's like a trick. So each person needs a trick, a hack in order to make sure that they could stay in the realm of I'm making on my avodat. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to make a kenyan on it. The lawyer and and it's it's only going to happen through putting in the work. It doesn't work any other way. Someone that's sitting back and just saying just like may it drop from sham. You know what? Sometimes people they do say like they got a but it's only because they were involved in the work and then they feel like it's a matum. Even people that work so hard that work so hard on things if it's for real when they get that taste of making aem the last thing they do is attribute it to themselves and their hard work because even that they say that's also a gift. A person that puts in the work in marriage in sha and it happens what happens the flow is there the fl it happens the flow happens there's a kenyan made on any real person with an ounce of a cup would say and that also is a mat and they wouldn't attribute it to their own aod but he's saying anything here is all based on avod work avod. You know what turned me on so much to the early to the to the first few swarm I would learn about the older breast sadikim is that all the every few every few at the risk of sounding like Joey Nukem for a few minutes every few minutes they would talk about the avoid the the avod you think these guys are carpenters shoemaker like what avod they talking for them what they took on was avod what they took on they looked at like work like you would take seriously something that you get paid by a boss for work. They took a vodatem like it was mameish aod literally like that you read the about like and I mentioned I haven't mentioned his name in a while I have a mention his name Shapi Shapi from breast sternheart rabbi Rosenfeld it's sadly correct Rabbi Rosenfeld all these oper all these all these from back in the generation They they they referred to their daily life as avodas. Avodas avodas because for them this is what they wanted to make a kenyan on. A person wants to feel like an established human being by bringing him a paycheck to his wife and children. And they'll do anything hopefully to make sure that happens. Imagine if that's how artis of a hashem would be. We'd be we'd be all in. And and we're getting there. We we'd be all in. Whatever [clears throat] it is I take upon myself, I'd be allin. Again, I want to start the second paragraph. Don't just expect things to just show up. And not like many people think. It's enough if I just do mitzvah. and all those other mil of they'll just show up. I'll just make sure I keep shabas and I don't eat. I keep kosher. We have in our house we're very thes don't think the other things that we're speaking about the milers over here are just going to show up. Everything is work. It will not be accomplished without the work. He brings the PS today. So, so far we have it's good company and asim that are leading us through today's learning. So, he's quoting the without work. You can't reach anything. I don't know. I don't feel it. I don't feel it. Yeah. What are you What are you working on? What's what what part of work was part of? I don't feel it. Doesn't work like that. Marriage. I don't know. Then you're like shim. I don't feel it. No. Everything is move. I made the mitzvah aliyah. It's I don't feel it. It's not there. I don't feel it. What? What? What about the work? What do you mean the work? I made aliyah. I left I left Bergenfield. Are you crazy? I left Thorn Hill. I should feel it. No. No. No. You did a mitzvah. You did a mitzvah. Feel it. Feel it only comes through only through the toil. But with toiling, the Ramal says you could reach anything and everything. I want you to remember that because it shows up all the time. Therefore, [clears throat] what should a person be looking for? To try and turn on the volume on love and awe. But I don't feel it. You actively turn it on. How? Be conscious and be aware of everything that you're doing. Ask Hashem every single moment to turn on the love and the fear. Faith and trust in which fall into the category of being allin to fix our mid. [clears throat] Without the work in these matters, you will feel which is the worst thing in the world. You're going to feel empty of a life of Torah and mitzvah. Isn't that the wor that's the worst thing in the world? It's worth it's worse than having a life without Torah and mitzvah for a person inside to be to have a life where you're keeping everything but you don't feel any of it and you didn't make a kenyan in any of it and makes you feel rake inside messes us up like like it's no one's business messes us in our core and let's say you kept all the mitzvah. You've only kept really one out of the five things that Hashem says he's waiting for us to do. The rest you don't have. And that's why a person has to pay attention. I would say they have to because he just says over here right has to be one that I'm consciously putting in an effort to make a on something. whatever I need for each. We'll go into detail later, but I want us to think about this outside the text for a second. Every person in this in this room has at least has done at least one kenyan in their life. Which one? >> Kenyan suda, right? That's a Kenyan. Now, what do you have to do? I I had this amazing experience last night. And I married off this amazing couple, this artsy couple. This like art very artistic couple. He's from Australia. She's I believe from Germany was out in Yafo Yafoika. And I was trying to and it's like it's not av you know is like a you know what I mean? It's so I was like trying to find the words to explain why he's going to lift up his pen and make a kenyan on the on uh how do you make an acquisition also you got to be very careful 2026 you have to you know you have to find the right words to explain that what he's doing right now with making an acquisition on this kenyan of a of auba I was trying to find the words for it I think what came down was that um right now what the katan is basically attempting to do in front of his future father-in-law is that he's just taking a rev. He's taking responsibility. He's making himself a guarantor that he's going to do whatever he can in order to show appreciation for the infinitely infinitely gal gift called a soulmate. That was like the closest I could get to like, [clears throat] you know, to to say it in a lush. Hopefully that that could be viscabas. You know what I mean? So if everyone in this room has made a Kenyan, you know, at least hopefully, you know, everyone whoever needs to make another Kenyan should make another Kenyan. Whoever needs to make their first Kenyan should find that first person to make the Kenyan with. But we've made a Kenyan on something. Now let me ask you a question. when you made a kenyan on auba right hopefully the r went over the kuba with you what did it feel like when you made a kenyan when you lifted up that we made a kenyan what's called a kenyan sudar where you lift up an object and in front of adim you're making a kenyan on that but what did that feel like >> responsibility >> responsibility what else [snorts] what else more than responsibility >> technical technical >> it look it was also technical it's a technical thing that's very Good. What else could What else? What other emotion maybe? >> Oh man, I got to protocol >> protocol. Right. So those things are ku not not uh >> emotional >> not emotional. Right? That's what we're trying to get to. If we're just looking to be emotional over every you know in a hashem we will fall on our faces before we even start. It's not just this emotional business. Kenyan making a Kenyan on something is responsibility. It's protocol. Yes. But the thing is is that that is the basis. That's the clea for all the aura of emotions and feelings to have a home in and they're [clears throat] dependent on each other and it's a it's a wonderful thing. So he's going to now he's going to he's going to explain like talking about like and everything. It it only really starts once the responsibility is there. So again once these five things that the Ramal is saying is explaining to us that Hashem is asking of us only once those five things are set in place not that I've done on all of it but that I mapped it out and I said I want to be that person that considers himself to beem ine ore depends how you type it based on the alter right and I'm part of I'm currently consciously in the act of serving God. What does that mean? It means that maybe I'm not in shul right now. Maybe right now there's not a mitzvah that I have to keep right now, but I'm still in this program called tik amidos asking for love and awe and having and being all in. All in. It's the greatest privilege in the world. And yeah, it's awesome and it's full of responsibility. But those are the things in life that we want to be most proud of. the things that we decide that we're all in. Those are the things we're we're most proud about in life. Not I'm so proud that I waited and I finally had an emotion of that. That that that doesn't work. Let's go. Bottom paragraph. A person that wants to climb this ladder of spirituality. You have to go from strength to strength through these five things. One must be very cautious that what you're what you're what you're spending your time on, what you're putting yourishkas into are these things. And don't get yourself into this this maze of being invested in. Now I want to ask you tell me what you think [clears throat] when he says here and what do you think he's referring to? Or put it like this. What don't you think he's referring to? the obvious stuff that's obviously wrong for you >> that he's not referring to that. Correct. I don't think either that he's referring over here to saying and don't get caught up in like watching dirty movies. He has if that's >> then you're not you if you're learning this safer that's not exactly where where where the struggle. What is he saying is what does he mean here by failing? >> Huh? >> Golf. >> Golf. Hold on. Golf. See Ari, it's in the air. >> Golf. What do you think? You think he refers? You think golf? >> Could be. >> Could be. Let's go even like malimo. Ah, pinasa. >> Technicalities. >> Pinasa. Technicalities of life. So pinasa is one of them. For some it's golf. Depends where you're holding in life, right? Learn that. [laughter] No. No. This is very important. can be things that are as if they're they are how do you say malubush they're in clo they have garments of as if they appear to be the most important things in the world even the holiest things in the world so how does a person find out what's and what's tel in life ah so this is already the makab is telling us these five things have to be in front of you of something doesn't fall into this category of the five things. Rest assured it's tough and it's it's not that it's we're not talking about things. We're just thinking about things that don't really they they I really connect most what how Moshe said it the technicalities of life because look what he says on the next page because those are the things Why we all are stuck in this all of us. First of all, I want to give everyone a bra that we should have so much [clears throat] in order to be the in order to have the the the focus on being. Yes. That they burden our hearts. They sit as burden on our hearts and they remove us from being focused on the [snorts] When theel becomes emphasized, when technicalities of life are what I spend most of my day thinking about, then the of life gets so much less focused and spotlight. Like the things that really really matter. Obviously, we always say this, how often people walk away from a funeral with all the epiphanies in the world. the epiphanies like all the makas about what they need to do. When did they come to this realization? When they realized that they themselves are going to die one day. It's not how we want to live. That's not that's that's not the way that's not the way it goes. Obviously understood this and that's why he says inelis that it's better to spend time by than it is by a sudas mitzvah by by a mish right why because by a mish that doesn't really bring out [snorts] the of life. It's true that uh mortality does bring out the iikar of life but it's only temporary. When a person invests in the iikar of life these five things all the time you don't need funerals to remind you how precious it is to be an hashem. Life itself is a walking example of what you want it to be. And this I'm sure you're all going to love what he's going to say right now. Shos this is very also says this about and he says it don't try to be a person that's searching and like their their dream in life is to find extra strange right anyone have any problem with that everyone [snorts] everyone's fine with that one right but then he adds over here But you know uh what do you know don't you know if that for some people right they're very make all year long a bunch of different things comes why because there's something very precious when you do carry a tradition that that came down from it is beautiful it is is a beautiful thing but what the is saying don't go out of your way to look for machas. Why? Cuz those are things that are taking you away from the it's it's it's taking you away from what really matters. What's the most important thing? You know that it's interesting had a son. His name was Reblazer. He was fire. But because he's the son of the male melik there's not such a desh on him in his life enough he'll probably I have this hunch that he's going to emerge in this like this next door people find out about sadikim I think mark my words here I did predicting it right now [snorts] hopefully I'm much more meduyak than the polls of the Israeli media but >> you know I think that reblazer his son is going to become one of the big big giants of the next generation so his son brought a letter. And he brings his son brings a letter of his father that he writes like this. The truth is we don't have to learn the rest of the letter. All only thing we have to know is what he what he said over here. What did what did his father say? Whoever is asking me should they say that their shilas what what's bothering them in life is should they say this meet us on Friday night or that zra on Friday night or should they say sharim here or there or ask me other nonsense things like that that's all we need to know from the letter what was he saying he's not belittling he's not belittling shalom aish What he's belittling his thinking when a person thinks that his nephesh is dependent on these [snorts] stuff very like today very yeah >> no I'm saying but isn't half of about what shoe do I put on first and which shoelace do I tie first I'm saying that all sounds like in the macro picture is you know also But I'm saying, but that's half of half of the is busy with these. >> How about we just No, no, no. Is not busy with what Z you do and what you don't. How about we like this? Let's let's learn the keep what's in there and not add on anything else. I'm down to even do the kitchen show. [laughter] >> Why is more? [laughter] >> But you hear what I'm saying? >> Listen, only a rebel like me could say such words that a person that's asking about Friday night, which to say, which not to say is in the bigger picture of that person's life. >> Right? So this is a little bit different like my you know Nakman's asking it's very interesting Nakman so we established he puts on the right shoe first then the then the other shoe now he has now he has shoes with with laces right so then we we started doing the left lace before the right lace and he's like no Aba we're supposed to like it's good to have these things in the consciousness but this is stuff this is not Minhogim stuff he's talking now about Minhogim but but I'm telling you I've seen this quite often with withra that they get so caught up with the hanhagas that it's like it could be it's the most beautiful hanaga for someone that's like already mastered all the other things of the tells us in according to the after that [clears throat] okay let's finish off. What other danger is there? Listen, we all have these moments where I have such an aspiration to grow in my to really really seek the highest places that I can. We have these moments and what happens? How does the work with us? It doesn't doesn't come and prevent us from doing it, but it comes and puts in front of us all these other things that make that are so much more excuse me for saying this sexier. It is much more enticing. It's much more enticing to do something very eclectic and ecstatic and colorful. That's how the comes and works. It's not that it comes and tells us don't keep to mitzvah. It just presents before us something that seems so much more. How do you say >> desired? >> Desired. Thank you. That's what it puts in front of our face. So it comes and tricks us to satiate us with these aspirations. instead of true change and a real ascent a real high can't know the there's so many examples that come to mind right now I guess because of maybe the I would been hanging out with for so many years and what drew me so much to to Ravineburgger is I I see his light boom beaming out of this paragraph over here. It's like when I got there, when I got to him, this paragraph like came to light. It was like mamish what I saw that there's all these beautiful things that people do and and the additional these additional things, right? But then you see people that are so invested in like the colorful outside stuff which are beautiful. Then the inside stuff becomes a little bit less important. And then what ends up happening is that you're okay with these new hagas that you took on. And what ends up happening is but it's on the of actually really growing of actually really really going to the highest places in the world. This danger is very commonly found taking on and taking on other hagos. I see in one second he says they're easier to do than to really really start to really make the to really make the acquisitions to [snorts] really feel that I'm I'm in my like real therefore it's good to distance yourself from these things. and to put all your and your aspirations in real work. There's a great example for this that everyone could relate to in their own dalmos. We think that what our wife wants is a lot of like the extras, the the like bonuses, huh? >> Flowers. >> The flowers. And then we're sometimes we're so like we're so don't look at we don't start looking at each other like >> miss the starters [clears throat] >> everyone has everyone has their own Indian whether it's flowers whether it's the vac and then we get like don't you see how much how how much like extra I'm going for you and she's sitting there and saying I I just want the basics the basic needs [clears throat] >> like what trash. >> An orange peel. >> Huh? >> An orange peel. >> The orange peel. The tra or no no not even those things like just the basic stuff. Not not those things, right? >> Connection. >> So connection comes from the not from the >> show up. >> That's what he's saying. Being allin, giving over the sense of being allin, being in awe of the marriage, being in love with the marriage and all the other things that he said over here. Yeah. Show them. >> Is he saying not to go down that path? Meaning if you're passionate about something that's extra, something that you feel like has turned you on and and whatever, is he saying not to go down that road because what [clears throat] might prevent or >> go down that road once the first five are like are are engraved in you. Then if you want to go down that road again if it's cababalas you got from previous generations it's one thing but he's saying our door today that's not the so he's saying to make a conscious decision let's say not like if people come to and they're like let's say I want to grow up my long pace now and I'm going to >> ah that's very good that's very good >> meaning should they make a conscious decision like no I'm not going to grow up my pace now because I'm not there to shouldn't become the >> if it remains toughel grow your pay down to the floor. If that becomes your do not grow your pay. It's a great it's a good example. That's a very good example because it's still as holy as as pis are for a certain person that could become [clears throat] and then the focus becomes on something versus the when it's on the of it. Yeah. This is like the healthiest approach I've ever seen. Your beard's a different story, >> huh? >> Your beard's a different story. [laughter] >> You know, I was pinning it for years and only David Aron was the one that kept on looking at me like, "Come on, you know, you got it." It's true. Beard is a tuna different story. There's so many examples just like that. Yes, we could think of a lot of them right now. The thing is that I don't want to mention too many of them because we'll be shocked as to how many things we actually took on that are actually they're [clears throat] so I was waiting for someone to ask me but I I'll ask it. No, what about his bogus? >> That's to get you to to get you to >> what ifus is on the one of the five. >> No. What kind of you do >> isn't >> real he's like real talking to what's >> so when he's only crying about paraso that could be considered if the way we're speaking about it that it awakens and arouses within us and the sense of being allin it's got to be done with that consciousness You can't wait to see if that's going to be the result of these that it has to be the approach has to be like that. Yeah. Very good. There are a lot you you don't have anything to say today. You have I'm like waiting the whole year. I've not turned my head once this way. Thank you. I'm waiting for you first on the thing. I I thought of when when he came for Shabas once, you know, the whole move of the whole family and he says to me, he needs a room for dude and it was the middle of, you know, Shabas afternoon and these guys want whatever swing in front of the rafters and and and [clears throat] I mean he's out for for for an hour by himself. I mean, you know, on my >> but he's special. I meaning like it's legit. And I remember thinking like, hey, is it or isn't like it's legit. >> Yeah. the the the what I've been you know there's a a Tulsa meeting in this school that's on >> today 7 p.m. >> It's on Mondays at 7 p.m. [snorts] And one of the core >> I just want to say it's changed I get I get I get messages kimat every week that it's mamish changed people's lives mash yeah >> one of the core principles that comes up that I personally really do not appreciate from this from this they're right I'm I'm wrong but I just know and I don't like it and I heard it here which is um which is the uh the being allin part where they say half measure measures avail. Hate that. >> Yeah, >> hate that cuz I 65 is passing. That's a passing grade. >> 51 is passing. >> Well, I mean 51 is still more today, right? You even make it like okay, at least I'm not like that. >> Right. Right. I hear what you're saying. >> Us nothing. I hear what you're saying. >> I'm going ahead. But like if you really want to get to the Hashem, like you [cough] >> you can't game this. I mean, you just can't you can't do it. And uh So it has to be has to be >> Yeah. But he but but he's saying this but but he's saying it over here too. This isn't nef necessarily. >> There's no room. It's living life. But I think what wants us to feel like he wants us to feel that our need for to beem is is like I think that's the goal like that that we that all of us feel that unless I have my this is my lifeline that my lifeline to mitzvah is that that that the whole world to me is in through the through the eyes of Hashem's dreams is nephesh you know I listen I I I also I have an aversion to it. I do because I always want that like give me like one area where I could where I could not feel so guilty. Right. >> He does use the lion sak here. >> He's talked about sak about about not about being allin. He talks about the sak he's speaking about over here is by making things that are tough. You said it earlier you don't want this awakening to come on your deathbed or funeral. Listen later on Bashem we'll see on Wednesday and we'll see next week also the way to to redefine aspirations is a very important piece of avodashem. This will actually help I think really with what you're bringing up because it is a very when when I look at avodashem and the aspirations as this like absolute like 12step mahalak [snorts] I'm not so sure I'm going to say right I'm not so sure why fear of failure fear of disappointment hate to break it to you're in already you know did you do you do you say Say that when you're about to have a adim see you do a ken and auba. Imagine we're standing by the and we're like no no no I I don't want it to be that I'm forced to say that I'm fully in. I want it to be a thing that like really comes naturally all the time. Your future father-in-law is sitting next to you. He's about to throw a glass at your head, right? H how could we do it then? Why do we do it then? When it comes to when it comes to king by a by by auba, why do we do it then? Why aren't we scared to do it then? Because we don't really know what we're getting into. >> You believe in the relationship. >> Because you believe in the relationship. Ah, >> it's interesting that the name of the safer. >> Yeah. Fine. Wine. >> Either you're going to create good good habits or uh stick to the old >> You're going to say the safer should come to the moon tonight. On that wondrous hil note, we'll see you all Wednesday.