Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz - Q&A Part 2 (Zoom)

[Music] so I'm going to start just by asking every task to share with us today is the Jewish holiday called Lag Ba'Omer and I'm just going to ask where they test this is a question that's coming for me but I'm sure many of you on this call have a similar question what is the significance and meaning what kind of messages can we glean from the holiday of light bomber first of all let me thank you for this opportunity to learn a little bit with some of your members not that you gave me a choice but thanks anyway also let me greet a few people that I see have joined us from icons they've called from Chicago amazing organization that he runs there I wouldn't like to say whether Emmett or jet is on a high level but they're both they're both pretty pretty much up there rocket-powered organizations in America and Daniel my friend Daniel nice to see you Daniel I first have you with me brands in South Africa please forgive me if I don't greet you personally I can't see everyone's name but thank you to the jelly and to Allah me as well for hosting this session please I can see a chat box here so if you need to Eitan nice to see you here and I think I saw early not done as well so if you have a question you want to add something in or make your comment or something just go ahead and message it first in the first instance around my rittenberg but I can see what's on the screen as well with regard to like well where I'm gonna take peps a little bit more than five minutes for this question if you don't mind just a little bit more maybe and that is because it's a very mysterious day a very mysterious day very hard to find sources for it we don't even expect a clear indication what it means and that's very much in keeping Rob our den in Cleveland not to nastusya joining this group as well so we've got some of the real black bears here as if do you note down Elgin in Cleveland good good excellent okay LeBron is a very mysterious occasion deep in the Kabbalistic is really celebration of cabbalistic wisdom which obviously more difficult to speak about but maybe in a nutshell I will just say this first of all you know that there are 32 days counting the armor and pull of 33rd day which is like Mohammed and then there 17 days left to get to short this is known in the deeper sources as lave Toth a good heart ladies 32 you know in the Hebrew you know that ladies 32 tommy 17 a good heart a first thing you notice about a good heart again stay with me carefully this is this is not so not so simple the first thing you notice about a good heart lave Tov Daniel I hope you're listening carefully this is stuff you haven't heard before pay attention next time he from next time from what not sure ever written big you can get Daniel here to give the class he knows all the stuff but here here's something that he doesn't know lave Tov maybe something in words the heart is inside tov good is always outside then explain that lave is inside the heart is your inner consciousness in Torah the life means the mind internal literature whenever you see the word life singing the Hajj it means the mind mine is the inner aspect of your being let me ask you to mute everyone if you don't mind just because I'm getting some feedback unmute me okay okay thank you so let's pick let's pick it up like this lave inside tov outside why is good on the outside because good always involves giving something to somebody else we can't call you good when you're isolated in yourself but you can't be called good you can be called many things but goodness always means giving not to be good you need to manifest their goodness that's what Tov means you've only given me a few minutes I can't explain that fully but that's the quality life inside Tobin outside the secret of the omen he thirty two days building the lathe that's inside and seventeen days projecting it to the outside the critical phase is the lathe once the heart is built correctly once your heart is in the right place as we say then it's a simple problem a problem but a simple problem to demonstrate that display it manifested in the arts in the outside world let me give you let me give you an example when you love someone when you love someone they - they're two facets to the love there's your inner awareness of the person your feelings for them the way you hold them in your heart and then there's acts of love which is a separate thing you can have one without the other you can have an inner grasp of love and unfortunately no way to show it the person is missing absent you cannot communicate with them many reasons why you cannot show your love you can also have external acts of love without any internal feeling we call that prostitution or business okay with this external relationship are nothing inside a mature relationship a correct relationship and relationship of integrity requires both so there's the life inside and then there's the goodness in which it manifests on the outside the counting the owner is a human being we can't from the days of Pesach which are animal Pesach is the birth of the Jewish people the child is born like an animal no adult sensitivity basically offering his barley which is animal food we count forty nine steps k ballistically ascending the level of human what's called the Mike in the brains demand the spirit coming in and on the fiftieth time you reach not only the human reach the divine so we move from the childish animalistic slave mentality narrow a human being which tri means narrow straits and we move through to the world of the fully human at the 49th and then we make contact with God on the fiftieth that's very clearly what we're doing and that process of moving through the seven times seven levels of being human requires two stages first the inner work they have to be integrity you have to understand a thing deeply within yourself grasp it manifested fully and then there's a problem of how you'll explain or put it across or show your love in the outside am I making sense so far those of you who can taught me a quick chat message raba algin am I making any sense here if so just typed me a quick yes on the screen okay so that is the process of the honor now the 30 to build essential human being an essential level of human be we call we call kavod don't think of telling me this is covered if you do you're not welcome in this group there's nothing to do with it covered covered means the inner dignity of the human being curve vote the word covered equals 32 covered 32 10 spirit and 22 letters that join them right that is what covered is the human is made up of ten points three in the head three in the chest three in the abdomen okay that's nine and then there's the tenth which is the unity of all of them those are the ten elements in the spiritual being and they're 22 lines that you know let me show you a picture picture's worth a thousand words here's a picture of the spirit this comes from an old old book that I'm indebted to rubbish found me once an old printing of mitosis yom tov quite amazing she actually draws out the seriously I'll show you the original actually cut your copy personally lodged it from the sanction book here the ten Spheeris okay picture the ten spirit and you see twenty two lines joining them yeah somebody's taking the trouble to make a very clear modern print of this it's microscopic stuff so this person has made a modern non diagram can you'll see that ten points but first is the crown cursor off my banana in the in the head I said vertie Pharisee in the body ten points and if you look carefully now in this particular picture the letters have not been filled in but you'll see they're twenty two lines they three horizontal lines only you'll notice that three horizontal lines this one this one and this one this is the Aleph this is the mem this is the Shin Rosa called the mother ledges and then you'll notice that they are seven and twelve diagonals and verticals seven of 112 of the other that's the alphabet a Hebrew alphabet consists of three mother letters that's called a mesh Aleph mem and shin Daniel are you paying attention on now you know this speaker and always learn something that's the that's the three mother letters then you get four seven doubled letters right and even recall that baguette kappa write the letters in hebrew that have a doubled version bet vet they take a dot and then twelve simple letters that have no two versions that makes up the 22 letters so again 10 points 22 connections if you like to speak medical terminology the 10 or the anatomy that's the body the 22 other physiology the workings the interaction between the parts that's what makes the human being these 22 these 32 is covered the Cepheid singer says the world was created with this alum it based in the silver spear Hoffman the 32 pathways of wisdom that build the world what are these 32 22 letters journeying 10 spirit that is what makes up the human world and the spiritual world that's called covered why covered because you're in a dignity covered means dignity dignity dignity means your inner being then is carefully revealed on outside let's think about this for a moment what is covered what is dignity covered is not an inequality and it's not an outer quality Kabbalah is a combination between the two what is a person's dignity dignity requires revelation in the world again if a person's incredible amazing accomplished unbelievable human being but completely blank screen that's not called dignified that's amazing achievement but there's no revelation at all and if a person is fully revealed naked totally revealed in the world that's total vulgarity what is covered covered is that is an incredible inner depth and only the rod amount is revealed only the right amount and every revelation requires a hiding when the King wears royal garments they cover the king but they reveal his royalty now depends on your level Adam and Eve would needed more clothes the body was enough of a revelation the skin was enough of a covering as we progress through history we need more by the way I wrote a book about that you can here's a copy I'm doing a little cell promotion here my latest book as dawn ends the night it's a book about the progressive levels of revelation Daniel I hope you've read it yes good so that is the rabbi Daniel oh I'm sure you've read it that is a book detailing the sequence through history so let's get it began covered in a being 32 stages of the laid forming the heart and then 17 stages of revealing it in the world the first 32 are critical 32 days forming the inner dignity of the human being why did the students of Rabi Akiva die in these 32 days they did not give enough Kevon to each other and that's what these days are these are the days of building the cupboard and they didn't it'll manifest that adequately in these days which aim in which that is required that that means that their incredible level there was a failure of development of the human being that is called covered right dignity that is something this generation does not understand by the way this and this generation is totally invested in the Western world certainly totally invested in externalities the more naked the better the more vulgar the better the more that's revealed on outside the better we cares about inner content irrelevant irrelevant the inner is much more important than outside and then there's a careful revelation of exactly the right amount announcer that's what generates dignity okay if you if you into pop culture pop culture there's a very as a Jewish Nobel Prize winning songwriter wrote a book called dignity right he wrote a song called dignity worth listening to dignity nice nice lyrics you can download him and read them it was a in South Africa many many years ago there was a very strange songwriter who everyone everyone South Africa thought that he killed himself on stage you remember the save and the finally was discovered after many years and he also wrote a song about this very very nice lyrics in which he shows that the external he says you think you so find the way you dress but a monkey in silk is a monkey no less yeah anyway so that's the thirty two what is thirty two mean accorded to Kabbalah the fifth day of the fifth week that's like bone man what get think about that fifth day of the fifth week four weeks twenty-eight days five more of the fifth week fifth day the Wyeth very briefly according to according to Kabbalah the fifth point in the body the right tenth guess at the beginning of the process the left-hand din controlling the process the third one differs in the middle balancing it and how will this live in the world how will this be revealed but you go from first second third the fourth is called nutsack that's the kidney where the seed begins to be formed and finally the fifth one called hardware the CDs complete to seed its internal hasn't been revealed yet but once the seed is formed the work has been done now it's only a question of detaching and growing and revealing what it is the fifth day of the fifth week it'll be activists maybe kibby's Tom meeting you know there's a very strange thing we celebrated because they stopped dying on this day we celebrate the like moment because the students are a beekeepers stop dying on this day excuse me what's that to celebrate you know why they stopped dying because they were all dead excuse me what sort of celebration you know why we celebrate the plague ended they stopped dying yeah they stopped dying cuz all 24,000 were dead what kind of thing is that another reason we celebrate is because if Shimon bar Yohai died this day died this is a day of death are the greatest human beings and we celebrated the answer is when the inner world has been built assumed by your high reveals the inner world of Kabbalah when that's revealed in the world the fires lit he can leave the world now it's just a question of reeling it externally that's the 17 days that it takes to reveal Torah fully but that is the meaning of life bottom and therefore it's a very hidden thing it's the lighting of the fire it's the lighting of the internal fire Kabbalah is the internal fire of Torah all right there's a lot more to say about that but that's introduction to like Boromir and therefore we celebrate the fire we celebrate summer of course you know what's happened in this generation and externalized it completely what is like warming nowadays great external hilarity and and you know go and light the fires and have this incredible party about what no idea just like all of our lives now we all it is is a manifestation on the outside but I would suggest to you to your members thank you very much I have a hidden helper who just brought me a drink I would suggest to you that what's needed here the message take away from like warmer is to develop some internal depth and if you want Linkous to covered that's what isolation is meant to teach you okay next question my test thank you so much for that okay we're gonna switch now to the fast paced Q&A and you wanna speak fast right so the question is why does the Torah not talk about reward in the world to come and only to mention reward in this world no we know if we believe in the world to come why in the written Torah does it seem to focus primarily on this world okay and as soon as you want to cut me short just go right ahead and tell me that I spoke too much okay happy to do it stop stop as soon as you say who's the songwriter over some dignity well whoever asked me that question who is the Nobel Prize winning song Jewish some writer won a Nobel Prize a year ago or two years ago okay you asked me why is that okay this is a again in five minutes huh yeah okay so the answer is that there are many many answers to this question but there are seven classic answers the great dunya's Hakka barber Nell who died in 1508 was expelled from frot from Spain in 1492 he wrote an essay collecting seven classic answers to your question why does the Torah not mention a world to come or a resurrection of the Dead and in this masterful essay he collects seven classic answers the great Cleo Carr who lived a long time after him did a masterful work of summarizing all seven answers and you'll find that in the Cleo Curran homage if you look up partials before Christ I which we just read right chapter 26 chapter 26 it'll not mistaken check me first twelve b-but in the caucus are the first few first tube sukham of the parsha you'll see that he collects these seven ounces and summarizes them each one just a few lines it's a classic and it's worth going through I actually had the privilege of hearing your lecture on the spire of Moshe Shapiro's in Prague a fume the odds away from the grave of the CLE occur and if anyone's very nice to me I might send you that recording you'll have to be very nice to me but be that as it may so I'll tell you a little about the body says first of all I'll tell you the question and since you've only given me five minutes I'll give you only one of the seven answers by the way there are many many other answers there's an incredible slowness and my role has an answer on this and the gunner Vilna as an answer on this a Kabbalist seven months but I'll tell you at least the first of the seven classic answers first of all what's the question pay attention because the question is subtle and beautiful the question is he says that in the past we just read the colossi the tone talks about reward talks about reward it says if you do my mitzvahs and serve me I will give you crops in their season bounty fruits peaceful land living in Israel no Wars no weapons no soldiers a long list of incredible promises and the problem is they're all material they're all material that all physical crops and living in Israel and our soldiers and peace in the land unbelievable stuff but it's not a not another world so uh she deals with us and the kyoko says like this what Russia's dealing with is this if the toad did not mention reward at all there would be one problem but unfortunately the problem is the Torah does mention reward and when it mentions rewarded only mentions reward in this world that's very problematic that means anybody wanted to attack the Torah can say that the Torah is clearly admitting that there's no world to come let me say that again if the tyre does not mention any reward you can say the Torah hides the reward we'll have to think of a reason but the tower does not either reward the Torah tells you about the reward and when it tells you about the reward it spells out in great detail it's in this worldly reward that is clearly saying that there's no reward in another world is this camp the question is clear that's a double problem double trouble so that's the famous question it's like let me make it easy you go work for a company you walk in they give you a contract you stand behind the boss's desk you look at the contract you run your hour down the contract there's no clause dealing with salary no salary close that's really where's very weird I mean you know you they tell you about the rules of the company and they had to sick leave days no no clothes for salary very weird but you look carefully at the contract you found the is it close it close you think may well maybe there gonna be some unbelievable salary there you know and what is the reward well you can go over to the water cooler whenever you like and you can have a drink you can make a coffee occasionally you know we'll give you a company car you can drive it as much as you you know like that's really weird I mean the thing you're most interested in this in the contract is a salary so here's the Rambam zone sir brahmam says fantastic this is the first answer the clear can gives he says the toe does not mention anyone at all not at all when the tour tells you that it give you rain and crops and seasons and all that stuff this is not reward at all this is the expense account that the company gives you that's all expenses that's all the company it is a clause in the contract that says you want to bring home deals for this company we'll play for you take your clients to the best hotels buy them the best meals you can spend whatever you want in your clients provided you bring home deals worth more than we spent on your expense account that's all so when the Torah says like this you get crops and rain and no Wars why Sasha I'm telling you if you do my mitzvahs I'll give you the ability to do my business why not serve me I'll give you the possibility to serve me that's all it's not talking reward at all that's only an expense account and that's why it's in this world what you need in this world to fulfill the mitzvot I'll give you that's an answer now we have a second question so where's the salary clothes if this is only the expense account where's the salary clothes not mention at all says the Rambam you know why because Hashem wants you to serve the amount of love and not out of business a sense of business this is not a business contract this is a marriage contract in a marriage contract you've got lots of obligations to your wife and believe me when you stand out of the footmen you promise everything down to the shirt on your back but you never stipulate payment for love that you don't say but you don't set you up darling every time you bring you a cup of coffee two dollars make me a nice dinner $10 every time you kind in sweet to me $20 that is reducing marriage to prostitution or business and that's not what marriage is does your wife know that if she's kind to you you're sweet to her yes does she mind no that's love when you can't your wife then you treat her correctly she nice to you in response yes is that payment no that's love when the father says to his child listen have you behave correctly and you behave the way you want it'll be very good for you and very sweet he's the father paying the child for loving him no that's a love relationship and therefore says the Rambam the Torah does not mention reward because you're supposed to serve the master for the sake of doing what's right not for reward the oral law hints very richly between the lives that it'll be good for me absolutely they're almost full of promise about the world to come but the contract that you sign with Hashem let me add I promise spoken for five minutes but I'm gonna add one more for those that were more sophisticated understanding worship here to put it like this if the Torah mention reward not only would you be tempted to work for the reward you'd be obliged to because every word of Torah obliges you there's nothing in Torah there is just information every word in turn no matter how poetic an abstract is there to teach you an obligation and if the Torah had account a clause stipulating reward it would mean that I sure would want you to focus on the reward you'd have an obligation to which is totally wrong and therefore the Torah gives it in hints there's not rotted okay that's the first answer of seven maybe next week someone reminds me we can go through others as well next question thank you very much of a tax the next question another really simple topic that probably you could finish in five minutes is the person is asking the question this way they heard that a person can have more than one soul mate and if that's true what if they lost their soul mate those are two related questions let me point out can you have more than one soul mate is one question can you lose a soul mate one or marry the separate question I think they're asking both questions yes I know but you already going to give me five minutes I know you but anyway it's like this why can you not have more than one soul mate what's the problem King Solomon married a thousand on the country why not it's possible to have more than what were you calling a soul mate I don't know what your question means my soul mate but a but a destined set up perfect soul they can live in harmony with you of course there could be more than one there's no reason why not could you lose it yes of course you can be dumb and stupid and you can refuse to marry or you can reject the person you can meet them and refuse to marry them you can marry them and divorce them there's lots of stuff you can do wrong we don't believe in destiny that your that your futures mapped outs and you cannot escape it the soul mate means a Shem creates a person who given the right circumstances and you're right effort and decisions you can make a perfect relationship by the way does not mean it'll be a happy relationship just means the best person to bring out the best in you and therefore you could lose the soul mate but it's irrelevant practically in fact the whole idea with soul mates and ABBA it's not mentioned in the Torah and the reason it's not mentioned is because there's not practical the girl doesn't come with a flashing light saying I'm your bishop you know say for there's not practical application so the practical application is make sure you don't miss the person by doing what's right what's doing what's right meet people under the right circumstances look nice smile smell nice wear a clean shirt you know and when their bill appears who's got the right qualities which means you're attracted to it she's a good con person marry her and should be the right person very simple next question okay thank you the next the next question is what is the best way for somebody who's this is a from coming from a married person someone who is observant to help their spouse who is not observant become more observant okay this is a very important question the question was you have a couple it's made one party in the relationship is more concerned about the religious observance other business how do they induce their partner to become a religious and the answer is you don't all you show is love pressure not gonna help in fact we have many years of experience in this field unfortunately and there's a very common issue it often happens after marriage you know some years down the line one party gets more interested and almost never does pressure work and therefore the answer to the question is to be full integrity not to be a fanatic not to rub push in the other person's face your religious observance make sure you pay attention to the love and the consideration in the marriage as a religious principle just as much as all the other stuff and if you want the person to develop them along more religious lines you have to make it a desirable path for them by seeing that it's made you an incredible person you're a much better husband because you're religious so you want the message to seep in through absorbing the correct values pressure know you say darling you're your own person you have to grow at your own pace I ask that you give me the respect of allowing me to grow at my pace after all that's only fair I need to manifest my religious convictions you make it possible for me I will not push this in your face yes then we have to accommodate each other cuz that's what I love is if you if we cannot find the right level of accommodation let's go to our local Orthodox rabbi who say wise mature a person who knows how to handle these situations who will tell the religious party to turn down and calm down and put my pressure on and the other thing you can do is you can help the party to become a religiously sensitized not through you hang out with more religious people who admirable go for Shabbos to meals with where they'll see people behaving in the way that they find amazing right when you see the world around them disintegrating and kids going off there of the you know the path of normality and acting in bizarre fashion and then they see in the religious world healthy wholesome relationships and you can add them into that let other people make suggestions limb let their friends take them to lectures and expose them you tell them I give you a space you'll grow out your own right I respect you you respect me love and harmony that's the way to do it thank Thank You habitats I presume there's a similar answer with children okay okay no no there's a few more things to say about that okay so maybe I'll address that also because somebody asked their question as well how can a mom help her her son who's 12 years old to pray he doesn't seem interested in going to shore to synagogue I presume she means before Korona and you know how do you address that this is a common question unfortunately today almost every family has some one of the younger generation is not so interested and there many reasons for this but the general answer to this is no pressure either you're going to get nowhere with pressure no 12 year olds going to start praying intensely with Meany because you pressurize him and try to force him and by the way prayer as the focus of your question is probably the most difficult press something you can't force somebody into it has to be a communication God is speaking to my shame it's got to come from the heart it's very very difficult to imagine a 12 year old naturally motivated for that why should they how should they have any understanding of that speaking to somebody in their consi at that level of maturity and therefore the general answer to your question before we get to prayer is love understanding drawing the child class going at their own pace making it desirable and admirable for them understanding the tensions they're going through press is the last thing you want to do let me be clear though that as a parent you need to put pressure on where you can again you need to manifest all the rules that you can get away with here's the rule for parents whose children are not behaving appropriately religiously or in a general sense some parents think well the jars not listening so they give up everything no the parent must insist on every single detail you can get away with and turn a blind eye to what you cannot again what the child is doing behind closed doors on Shabbat you're not going to control any way no matter what you do you're not going to be able to control that therefore all you do is lose Authority when you try but what you can't control whatever it is you tell the child in this house no shirt no dinner you want to come to dinner without a shirt not ever sorry my house by the way when I ask you why you don't give religious answers you said cause it's my HUS when you get married and you live Dunham you can come to supper with the outer shirt and wearing smelly sandals and whatever you want but not in this house it's my house go to Japanese house you take your shoes off no it's degree that's what they do there this is my house mr. Trussell nice shirt not dinner or whatever the rule is in other words the rationale is because it's my ass yeah I give religious answers you won't want to win a philosophical discussion wins three-year-old these days let alone a teenage teenager and therefore you insist on what you can get away with and parents have the authority and children have to understand the other thing kids don't like to do that they have to do but you don't put pressure on areas where you're not gonna win when it comes to prayer you have to go to chart space but to make it attractive they have to enjoy gonna show with their with their father and and get something out of the experience and enjoy it and press is not gonna help so you go at their pace you help them grow gradually in a way that's loving because because you can't you're looking with vision I have a question on my screen how do you handle situation which children have to do things on Shabbos well one parent is not religious as the other okay so the parents have to get together and come to a working agreement now you can't have a tension like that between the kid doesn't know where there's no standard parents have to get together and make a working compromise so the child gets say if the parents are interested in the welfare of the child they need to get together and make an organized compromise so the child is a healthy model that they can follow but not be caught between the tension when parents are disagreeing on it this is a recipe for disaster for the child the first thing the child needs to seize parental harmony is loved more important than the details of what the kid is doing on shows okay thank you very much your attacks we have a different question now what is the torah' saying about cosmetic surgery is it permissible in Jewish law in other words the person continues in other words a nose job but call me not limited to that but they're using that as an example okay now I wrote a book about that let me show you the book you need to buy this book Daniel do you have this book Daniel I well you know the doctor you can read the book anyway anyway I'm sure about cornice this book and repulsion as this book although I have written big why you asking me these questions you've got two rabbis in this panel who know just as much as me so next week you can you know give me a break I'll go to the bombs and one of them has an accent as well so that's a good question that's right that makes it it can't be dead about Daniel you'll have to work on your accent cosmetic surgery okay this is a very big subject a major section in that book on it but I'll just give you it a five minute overview the overview is this first of all you need to know that the surgery has been done for a good reason not a frivolous reason not just to follow the fashions this part of the body has to be bigger this year or smaller this year by the way rabbi Daniel E in the Cleveland you know dr. green a plastic surgeon they're saved you know him you know Rodney he yeah Rodney green yes also got the right accent he told me the communist operation is doing now is enlarging certain part of the body ladies weren't there certain parts of the anatomy are now fashionable to have bigger but in previous years there was an embarrassment nowadays the fashion is to make him bigger so they risk risky surgery okay to have their bodies shake in a new fashion what will happen in three years time when the fashion changes don't ask me I don't know that's not acceptable Jewishly you're going through a risk or something that is simply a fashion so assuming the search is there for the right reason in other words there's a real a real neat person is embarrassed about the way they look they have trouble getting married or finding a job they have trouble going among people the camera says in one place amazingly that psychological pain is worse than physical pain if you could measure these things psychological pain being embarrassed to confess people because you've got a bad scar person that cancer surgery or a terrible accident or you know they they've got some disfigurement which is problematic that's real suffering so if there's a good reason Plastic Surgeons before they undertake surgery they always make sure there's a real reason for the surgery you know my father was a doctor before me he told me when he was a young doctor working in England one day young man to see him it years like this he asked my father could he please have surgery to have his ears look pinned back so they look normal my father asked him why do you want the surgery he said I don't have children his yeste cut like this well you know that fellow just needed a little genetic counselling you know you have a few misunderstandings but once there's a good reason for the surgery the person is suffering then it is allowed in Judaism so the question to cover is very briefly there are four main areas to deal with you know in a very small nutshell the first one is are you allowed to alter the natural features of the body what does the Torah say about that the answer is yes you can the second question is that you are injuring the body there's a total prohibition of cutting or injuring or bruising the body total prohibition especially with a parent that's another problem if the doctor happens to be the child the child is the doctor or the dentist and they're operating on a parent that's a separation but you're not allowed to injure another human being every surgery is an injury even if it's very minor the third issue is the risk there's risk in surgery is that allowed the fourth injuries cross dressing hmm very interesting cross dressing if a man is cosmetic surgery he's beautifying the body in a way that normally women do the Torah does not allow a man to wear women's garments what does that mean wearing a frilly petticoat and strolling down the main drag feel exquisite expression no it's any beautiful feature that women do you for men shaves under his arms or he plucks out grey hair so he curls his eyelashes or wears makeup yeah Daniels weird have you seen the thing the ladies used to code violations looks terrible it comes out of a Turkish torture chamber I mean terrible anyway that's what they do but the point is that if a man does that kind of stuff he's transgressing a man wearing a woman's garment say interesting question if a man is cosmetic surgery for beautification is he transgressing the problem of cross-dressing and the final question is tattooing tattooing cosmetic surgery sometimes involved tattoos the lip for example or the breast in breast reconstruction male or female how do you get a normal lip looking nipple areola complex the old way of doing it when I was a medical student was to graft skin he would take skin from another part of the body that was darker grafted onto the reconstructed breast stitch it in and then tried to get a normal appearance very hard you get scarring very hard to match the sides few years ago somebody had a brilliant idea just tattoo it in not harm now risk perfect results you can tattoo it perfectly the tar is not allowed tattooing okay so let's go through these briefly changing the natural no problem injury no problem RAV moshe feinstein writes that the Rambam holds that injury is only prohibited in the torah when it's malicious intent to harm taraknath sion says the random order of museum so it's got to be an injury that's intent to harm if the injury is not intended to harm no problem third problem risk if the risk is acceptable and you are allowed to undertake risk for good reason so you need your nose altered or a bad scar removed and this risk to the surgery the demo says if it's for important reason like earning a living or getting married you can undertake moderate risk one is moderate risk you have to read my book but you're allowed to do that cross-dressing no problem if the man is having this feature not for feminine beautification but because he has a problem he has a misshapen feature or a scar or some abnormality that means he cannot be employed or be married that's not female beautification that's fine and finally tattooing that's interesting question see the real question is what is it tattoo is it tattoo any putting pigment of color in the skin was it only a large picture of a grandmotherly type on a motorcycle with a dagger through her heart and the word mom you know what what exactly is a tattoo I know the point about a tattoo is that it's permanent that you cannot remove it very very difficult to remove I'll never forget when I was a young doctor myself a young fellow walked in for some medical problem he took off his shirt and jumped up on their couch to be examined and I saw you at a tattoo on his arm soon cross that Becky cross dirt margaret cross dirt you know I think I think Becky featured twice you know it's like a long string dug you think the guy would get the message you know you can't erase it say and I just keep adding you that's a tattoo anyway there are early authorities in Judaism who say that the problem with the tattoo is not the color it's that tattoos used to be a religious symbol tattoos in the old world were permanent branding showing that you belong to a certain sect or cult so today it would be a crucifix or a symbol of a cult or a religion that would be the problem that's color he's not at all a problem the discussion about this I once lost from inertia of this question I had a friend in South Africa as a plastic surgeon operating on religious Jewish woman she was having a breast reconstruction and they wanted to use tattooing so he asked her when Ashley when he allowed he said it'd be better for a non-jewish assistant to do that part of the surgery but that effect was allowed so in general brief answer to your question when there's good reason and the risk is acceptable then a person man or woman can have cosmetic surgery next question thank you the next question is yes we have a few very good questions coming through now will will the Messiah who redeem a person who is not keeping the mitzvot well let's put it this way does anyone hear your questions will the Messiah who redeemed someone is not keeping the Middle's let's put it this way a little and the Machine arrives everyone will be keeping mitches no question about that when you faced with a nuclear energy and you about to be fried okay you're gonna quickly toe the line so yes he's gonna redeem everybody first of all the mistake will only come when the majority are behaving the way they could or put it another way the Camorra says that the mistake will only come when we do children when we do children only question is are we gonna do - because we want to was we going to be forced into it but either way we got to determine chewer means everybody will be doing the mitzvahs so the only question is how difficult will be to get to that stage so the answer is if a person thinks well I can just do whatever I like and the share will redeem me not gonna work that way you will be redeemed not by the way there's another rock song written by the same anyway the point is that you will be redeemed but the point is how what are the process to get there so everybody agrees it will be through a process of children I'll leave you with a challenge that you can think about well next week how we'll chill would be valid if you forced into it that's interesting question interesting question if you do cheer because you come to your senses and choose to manifest a love for Russian that's valid how can you force someone to determine how sincere can that be how the gun tree said and say do cheever how can that be if you wanna ask this question come or says it's an eye not be marching towards sana another 17 days yet sahnaya shem held the mountain over our heads and he said if you don't accept this you die so the gamer says that's not a valid acceptance that's among discussion in the town if you threaten someone to accept or do children it's not valid and I'll discussion so if the Machir comes and we so terrified like the Guru says a king who's decreased as evil as someone's total genocide against the Jewish people and that forces us to do children how can that be sincere I'll leave that for you to think about till next week okay another question over here is how do we make sense of contradictory refreshen commentaries how can we truly believe in the validity of the tour if we hear so many opinions well let me let me give you a simple answer at this time I'll give you a deeper one how can you trust something when the different opinions you know in almost every professional field they're different opinions doesn't mean you don't trust the field you go to a doctor he'll tell you take your medicine go to surgeon he'll say well operate they both have evidence they're both valid approaches why not arguments don't have to be that one side is valid in one side is invalid we have a principle called L over L both sides of a Torah valid Torah opinions both sides are valid it different ways to get to the same end point but it is more than one way to bake a cake is more than one way to build a building is more than one way to make a contract is more than one way to arrange set up and structure a business deal why not they can be legitimate there can be many opinions there can be different paths to the same end and therefore we have a principle in terror that more than one opinion in Tarot can be true that can be different they can violently disagree with each other about which is better but they can both be correct Torres a transcendent reality in which there multiple possible pathways to the same valid input the greater authority don't argue about the principles not at all now give it about principles no one argues about the 13 articles of faith nobody some say you could you could put you could say they more succinctly no one no B's about that no one argues that the Jewish people have a special role nobody argues that the God gave us the Torah nobody argues about the the text of the Torah they are arguments had legitimate level of difference of opinion that's what makes us so dynamic it's not one thing carved in stone with one Authority and you have to follow on it so tremendously create a process next question okay thank you by the way there's a long chapter in this book this is a book you everyone needs to buy ever written but at least one copy each there's a long chapter in that book on how to opposing opinions in Torah even when they appeared to be about facts can both be true yes next question so the next question is why is Hashem wise God putting the world through Corolla and what do we need to focus on internally I know you you addressed that last week from a certain perspective about silence is there a different perspective or yeah I'll give you a different perspective and that is he this is a very important to understand we don't know why God does things not that we don't happen to know we cannot know the reason we cannot know is we live in a post prophetic era as you'll see in that same book I just recommend it when prophets were around you had access to knowing why things happen Hashem spoke to us when you got sick he went to a prophet and go to a doctor you might go to the doctor as well but first you went to a prophet for the spiritual reason if you lost your keys you went to a prophet when certain things happen in the world you had access to reasons Hashem revealed the reasons when prophecy ended in the world went dark we no long have access to reasons the more itself says in Broca's when the thing happens in your life and you don't know why examine all the layers of your life the Muslims say try to understand why this is happening to you in particular examine every error of your life how you dealing with friends how you treating your spouse if you find something you fix it if you don't find anything says the Gemara you put it down to your torah learning white Ohlone by the way when say you put it down to your total and you strengthen that the reason you put it down to your torah learning is Catterick holds everything simpler bosserman used to say this beautiful is to say when the doctor doesn't know what infection is causing the patient's disease what do you do you choose a broad-spectrum antibiotic an antibody that's likely to cover all the different types of infections Taurus our broad-spectrum antibiotic Torah covers all the bases if you find something specific in your life you know you have a guilt about something fix it if you don't find anything and I'm sure ever written all your listeners or people like that they went through their whole lives funda nothing they're doing wrong but there's something your Terra learning Torah learning is the lifeline to the source it's the broad-spectrum antibiotic and therefore you fix that so the plastic of it is we don't look for a specific reason we don't know but we do know and this is so important to understand although we never know why things are happening in the world almost never we always know what in other words we're not a Wycherley supreme but we know what it's doing we know what it's doing to relationships we know what it's doing isolation situations we know who it's causing more suffering and less suffering and that you're expected to read so when you put in isolation you Oscar so what can I use this for when you have to socially distance and right take care of people who particularly vulnerable the exact nature of what's happening we can read again when a person gets ill for example in a lot of pain why is God doing this I don't know but what he's doing I see he's given me pain okay deal with that he's given me Mitsos I can no longer do so you deal with that and which ones I can do again you're expected to reason not why God's doing this you have not accessed in it you expect it to understand what is doing not to be blind and therefore when he puts you through some experience collectively or individually you've read the experience so their response to covered from this perspective is what situation is putting you in you put it home with your wife right and normally you don't have much of a relationship with her because you're too busy now you're forced to talk to her for weeks on end they don't do a lot for your relationship okay or with your kids whatever it is you read the situation and you rise to the occasion and use set up complaining about it you use the circumstances that he puts you in every situation yeah you have a spouse is not giving you the right kind of relationship why did God put you in assuming he put you in of course you might have been done and made a mistake yourself they got yourself too but if I shan't put you in a certain situation it gives you a partner in life who gets ill with emotional problems or whatever the issue might be why I don't know why I need this I don't know why now what do you do you read the situation and you rise to the occasion so though we don't know why things happening we definitely know what and we deal with the details of what is happening next question what would you say is the most important Mitzvah in the term that's a nice question what's the most important Mitzvah nitor that's nice I'd like to take a survey of your members to see what they think but I'll tell you this I once said the experience as a teenager I once went to a concert and I heard arthur rubinstein play well one of the world's great pianists unbelievable genius happened to be Jewish genius pianist after the concert somebody asked him what's your favorite piece and he said the one I'm playing in other words the musician is to become the music omitsu that you're doing has to be total not your favorite it has to be the only one there is total total absorption total dedication when you speak in someone in a conversation they're all that exists when you're speaking to a wife how many people speak to this fast and take the conversation completely for granted how many men have a conversation with a wife and a minute later they can't remember what she said how many wives how many men are sent to the store by the wife by the time they get there they can't remember one thing she asked him to get you know why not paying attention I have a friend in Chicago wonderful wonderful man his name's are Akash and Akash they've you know any say and he said there's yoshua Kosh he said one day when he was about 19 they were talking to a moisture Shapiro he was the teacher the rabbi and he had the most phenomenal memory remember absolutely everything that's the unbelievable miraculous memory so they boy stood around you know there were teenagers they could ask in personal questions I said rabbi Shapiro how do you remember everything like everything you remember perfectly so he said the following thing he turned to one of them it happened to be a person called man in Estonia you know himself he turned to many nestled and he said to him give me a watch please so many took off his wristwatch and he gave it to the river now I said to many how many times have you looked at this watch so many said 10,000 times he said fine tell me does it have a second hand does it have Roman numerals he asked him 10 questions about his watch face and he got them all wrong [Laughter] he said you know why cuz when you look at this watch all you're looking at is the time what you interested in you notice what you're not interested in you down earnest that's the answer if you interested you notice it and you'll remember forever if you intensely interested if you totally bound up with it you'll remember it forever but if you're not interested you know speak to your wife ask her about your dating she'll remember every place you went and every atom she wore on every date will you remember that not a clue you see what you see and she sees and therefore you have to focus totally that's one answer to your question but there's a more general answer as well some mitzvahs contain others and they're more important in that sense I'll give you a very specific answer when a young person says rabbi which mitzvahs should I do so if they are genuinely asking a day they want to know what's most important we usually say to people there are three mitzvahs that build a Jewish home three mates with Shabbat kashrut and marital intimacy laws those are the three things that build a Jewish home that's where you begin okay secondly beyond all that the story learning it's a lifeline a broad-spectrum antibiotic that everybody has to do to the extent that you capable and then there's lots of stuff that becomes personal you can study Lashon Hara I'm not speaking Russian I don't care how you religious it's bad to say bad things about people you can say Sh my every morning and every night it's a small thing that becomes a personal a personal pace that you have to set yourself I'll leave you with one final thought and that is when people say rabbi which missus should I start with in other words which sins can I continue that is not a legitimate question now imagine yourself the Great's Freudian authority a bunch of Israeli girls went to him one day and they said Rama which is better for us to wear shorts or miniskirts the rabbi said I can tell you which is better I'll tell you which is worse I don't know what she said was worse one of them wasn't worse because if the girls if the rabbi said shorts is nearer the rabhasa the girls would say the rabbi said we can wear shorts you have to have a little listed when you answer questions if we didn't tell which is very top which is worse so in there rather because rabbi I'm not keeping Shabbos and I'm eating an unconscious food which sins shall I continue the rabbi's not gonna answer that question if you ask him what's most important for me to start there's an answer some say kosher food is more important because it sensitizes you eating unconscious food damages your heart he sensitizes you others say Torah learning you don't know your customer and begin with what is relevant to them anyway let me thank you for this session I've done my best to limit myself to the brief time you've given me some of the question we didn't get through you cannot tell for next week if you still need me about next week yes well recess we need you if Michelle hasn't come by next week we definitely need you I just just that for this next 17 days is the work of revealing correctly in the world right we've had 32 days to build the content the next 17 days that are manifested carefully correctly those are close to you those that you locked in with that is the work that has to be done and very Thank You avatar thank you to everyone who sent in questions and everyone who participated and please feel free to continue to send in questions to Rabbi tats and Emmett outreach work please continue to send in questions and we will get to them in the coming weeks ok thank you very much everyone and good evening that's