#Kosher pt 1#Torah #Parshah #Shemini #Leviticus #Kashrut #GoodShabbos!

I don't eat animals, not my style. Been that way for quite some while. But if there came a time when I changed my mind, I would still only dine on the kosher kind. No camel high racks or rabbit meat. They chew their cut, but got the wrong feet. Don't eat no pig rolling in the mud. Split hoof, but it just doesn't chew his cud. I don't endorse eating donkey, of course. Serve your husband horse. That's grounds for divorce. Giraffes are kosher, but who the heck wants to climb up and check on a eight foot neck? I keep the laws of kashroot. My jaws don't touch no flesh from a beast with paws. I don't eat no bear, no canine dogs, no weasel, porcupine, or hedgehogs, no feline cats, no mouse, no rats, no creepy blood sucking vampire bats, no monkeys, and no chimpanzees. And I won't eat you, so please don't eat me. I don't eat animals, not my style. Been that way for quite some while. But if there came a time when I changed my mind, I would still only dine on the kosher kind. I get sick just thinking about carry on picking buzzards and vultures. I'd stick with the chicken. I got no craving for ravens and crows. I'm saving my appetite. If you're serving those, no penguin wing, no emu leg. I don't want no scrambled ostrich egg, no parrot. No matter how you prepare it, spare it. I'll just snack on a carrot, take a bite from a bagel, but not from a seagull. No kite, no hawk, no falcon, and eagle. I'm on a diet where I stay away from all kind of raptors and birds of prey. No foul like an owl with the big eyes staring. Won't see me tear into the flesh of a heron. No piece of stork on the end of my fork.