Parshas Matos Masaei with Rabbi Simcha Bunim Berger

Okay, good evening Marvai. Tonight Zerim is sponsored by Anien and Ether. Yes. whose yard was I think today today or yesterday four ben Yeshua good tonight is page letter giml in mas it's focusing ing on the ha we are in the three weeks. What makes one of the things that make this three weeks special and unique is the three haas of the three weeks. What's that? >> The what are they called? the the gimmel deinus, the three parishes of Pirania. And then there's the Cheva. It's a total of 10 weeks. What's wrong? It's volume one. >> We need volume two. >> No, I got two here. Two weeks. Probably just atic. This week's haftyra is the second haftyra of the three weeks. You find it in this week's parish. Listen, listen to the What did you find wrong with me? You went and distanced yourself from me and you went after he after after things that make no sense and you yourself became like he well this is what the aishar says. This is the message that Yeri Novi is telling Claus. That's the quote and that's the opening of the says the letter of the approach of this on a surface level makes absolutely no sense in regret in a conversation between two people means what fault did you find in me the is telling cl what fault did you find in me that you came away that's the way the talks as though there's something wrong with hashem it's not appropriate for the aster to talk that way we can talk that way what did I do wrong somebody called me up the other day and said he got fired from his job. He after getting a raise three weeks earlier, he got a nice raise and then three weeks later he was let go. So he called me up to ask should I speak to my boss, my former boss to find out why did they let me go. In the meantime got another job. So he asked me why I said why do you want to know what's he says? Well, if I did something wrong, I want to know what I did wrong, so I shouldn't repeat it. That's okay. That's what did I do wrong. That's me and you. But that's not the what is the why is he telling me to tell Claw, what did I do wrong? What's like the Aisha did something wrong? We did something wrong. Why is telling the Ni to tell it to us? That's the straightforward and very clear as though does something wrong. Of course, he doesn't. So why is he talking that way? Why is the giving us his statement in such a manner that we need to dispel this statement? fascinating insight into the relationship between the we find the following. Two people gave each other their word. More than that, they swore to each other that they will be loyal to each other, as we'll soon see, like a man and a woman who promised to each other, we shall marry each other. And they give their word and one of the two parties, but they each they they both swore. They both swore and one of the two now backs out and one of the two decides they're not going along with it. What is the obligation of the second person who got messed over says the the other if one of them was over the we'll call it right we'll call it Jacob and Ra let's say and one of the two decided that they're not following through with their promise with their shu hashame the other party. So let's say if it was the girl who broke her engagement or broke her promise. So the boy well he promised her that he would never find anybody else. But she was the one who broke this deal. Is he allowed to find himself somebody else before he goes to a to get mater his what's that was contingent on her being loyal to him once she's become disloyal he has no whatsoever to her the anite Torah, a man and a woman that made a zav actually have to go to a vert tonight. Yeah. One of my one of my is 30-year-old daughter became a kala tonight >> with a 30-year-old boy Hashem. Grac Yeah, the vert have to run over there also. Yeah. Another 30. >> So this vart or any vart? What is a vart? Vart means in English a word. When a man and a woman get engaged, in our terms, getting engaged means you don't put the ring on her finger and sayes, you get engaged, which means you give each other a commitment that you're going to get married. We take this commitment if you're and you make and you sign a document and break a plate and make on what? that we gave each other our word that we're going to get married. That's what tanoyim is. Litish people by the time they get to the marriage to the write the then really it's superfluous because by that time you're already at the we just do it because that's the tradition. The real time where it should take effect is what do is to do it right away. But we don't like to do that in the liter world. kind of scared to go that far. Different reasons. So we don't do it then, but we also don't want to lose the tradition. So at the we make the but truth is in the liter world when you're making the you're at the wedding already. What do you have to make the for now? The real time to make the is when each other when they decide to get engaged. So that's called the vert in the world. That's called tunoim. That's what the boy and girl do to each other. And they added an extra level of responsibility. They even were mab upon themselves aum which means I'm going to be the boy says to the girl and the girl says that to the boy like excommunicated. We're going to be on ourselves like a nether. by this and this time we're going to get married. If somebody was over and the time came, let's say the man and he didn't act out on his promise, he's not allowed to marry anybody else. Because if he's the one who's the problem holding back, he made an I'm not marrying anybody else. He made himself responsible for her. He's got to keep it. The she who did absolutely nothing wrong on the contrary was messed over m she's mut to go find another man. Now once she gets another guy, then obviously she can't be married to two people. She found herself somebody else. Now he can marry someone else. Once she's left, now he can marry somebody else. Even though he was the source of the problem and Anakami calls man, she doesn't find somebody. He is still obligated to her. But once she finds somebody now it's >> who broke it whether >> of course the guy oh no that doesn't matter if it's a him or her. I just gave this as an example. Right. Now that's the and as we're about to see our relationship with the aster is like a husband and a wife. Our relationship with the abisher is where we have betrothed. We have promised each other that we will be loyal to each other. That's our relationship with the aishar. So now saying having said that says the zerosim one more point even if you're the person who was messed up like the story we just said right now and the says you have a head to to go find anybody you want. Don't be careful. Don't just act out. Do you know why? If the guy had a good excuse and brings Adam that he was an essay, then you're not off the hook. It's true that when one side renegs knowingly right they could have done something and they didn't they're at fault but if they're in then you have no right to back out because they were in says the Best thing to do is that he should go to a and be m his nether before whether it's he or she. Do you know why? He might be able to bring and prove that his was nothing more than an egg. If he was an then the other party really had no right to back out because the first person was an inus. So she in our example in this case she would therefore have been responsible to keep her promise because he was an inus. So she should not back out unless she goes to a and say he's wasting my time. He hasn't got he hasn't done he's not done good on his promise. I don't know why he did or didn't, but I'm not willing to stay m stay stay connected to him for so long cuz it's if it was an it was but I didn't I have no idea because I don't know where he is. Therefore, I want out. I never signed up for this. Get a good header and then you're good to go. And take a look and let's go to parlim for a moment to see how the zerosim says the same thing but expands uh expounds on this a little bit more. Take a look at page shin in parl like this one. This nation is going to go and I'm going to be upset. I'm gonna be master upon him. because of that he's going to be master upon him. What does he say? Why is he going to do that? Last two words on that first column top of the second column. And here he brings this gimra that we this and he expounds a little bit more two people swore upon something and one of them didn't listen a man and a woman who decided to get married and they set up a date whoever was he iser But the other one is we and Hashem swore to each other. The Gmorra in many places talks about the mitzvah that do we can't make a I can't swear I'm going to put on fillin today. Do you know why? Because I already made such a all the mitzvah we're we've taken upon ourselves that we are going to be loyal to Hashem and do all of his mitzvah. And the is loyal to us that he will never forsake us and never switch us out with a different nation no matter what. So we are sworn to each other in right weem and us have sworn to each other and if Then he's off the hook. And then gentlemen, you're not loyal in Yiddish. You're not You're not You're not loyal to me. You're not loyal to me. I have no obligation. That's what it says over here. Let's go back to our he just sent us back here. Bottom of the page. We swore to the we will not abandon him. We will not abandon his mitzvah. We won't survive and he will never forsake us now because of this shu to each other. This is what the ha of this week's para says the zerosion's talking about. What did you find? Because says the you sold out on me, right? You sold out. You went to surv. I could have walked away, but I didn't. I stayed loyal to you even though you weren't loyal to me. I didn't take the opportunity to now find another nation even though you've been serving I am so loyal to you says the you now besides for doing I pull away what What does mean? Of course, the didn't do anything wrong. So what does it mean the ter is but after we forsake he had all the reason in the world to say I'm out of here. I'm not sticking around with you. Look what you did. Look what you did. I gave you right. you were but says I'm still loyal to you. You can spit in my face. I'm still loyal to you. Is my Did I pull away that you that you were served? You even went farther. If after had separated and gone to aam would have said I'm out and would have also pulled away and found someone else. So then then because that's what it says in that when one party pulls away the other party doesn't even need to be m like we said he's allowed to pull away then I can't have ties with you I already went someplace else you wouldn't have to have a responsibility to keep your promises to me because we're gone we got divorced And that's it. It's done. As we said, when one person pulls away, if the other one finds somebody else, then the first person's allowed to marry whoever he wants because even though he started up, but the other person is no longer loyal to him. But the has not forsaken us. He's ga like it says in paras and that's why I ran to get the medish because the shimshin over here doesn't quote it completely but it's worthwhile listening to it for a moment. state is loyal. He's loyal. Once upon a time, somebody who was a very best friend of the king asked the king, "Can I please entrust you with something? Can I give you something?" He gave the And then the passed away. his kid who actually didn't need the object but decided to go to the king and said can I have my dad's that now that my father passed away I inherited him can I have the picott let me have the many you think someone else is going to watch this better than me. I'm the king. You know, if you would need it, it's one thing, but the med according to the says he doesn't need it. Didn't I watch it? Didn't I fold it and take care of it? Emily, what exactly have I done wrong and not been and loyal? I swore and I kept it. I said, "Did I not bench them?" It says, I told you you're going to be wealthy. You went out. Therefore says you can go ahead and be so disloyal to the says I'm always going to be loyal to you better than you are to me and tak why why is it that the aish taka doesn't give why does he give us a chance and here's the crux says the zerosimshin because we have a tino We are oinsen. >> We areen. We are the last second to last paragraph. We said that if the person who's brings us that he or she is an then you still have to keep the promise. It says in the is just for a moment and for everlasting why is it because it's who says the is my responsib ibility. This is the that the says that the says I am loyal to you after the world had deteriorated to Madrega of the Mabel. Why will the not bring a The MS is says the zerosim. Every single yeed has the essence of good inside of himself. No matter what a Jew does, the knows it's not him. The yum says a person doesn't have one time the says it's okay. Okay. You didn't have it's not you. Second time he doesn't punish. Third time the over there says the fourth time that's when you why cuz I know it's not you. And if you come and do chuva and you did all these things wrong and you tell the aster the devil made me do it. I feel bad. It was the it was the sasha says madab. I'm a cabalit. So even when we reneg and we do have we do any of the things we're not supposed to do knows he's my people I'm not going to hold it against him. I know that he's an ones and because he's an ones I can't pull away says the abisher from Claus I won't pull away always has a t ofus and this is so important that aid has to over that even when we mess up to never give up That's to say we're we're no good. The doesn't care about us. Says the I don't care. Even when you did things wrong, I never will forsake you. You don't have to pull away from me cuz I'm not pulling away from you cuz I excuse your mistakes. I know it's an I know the Yates is making you do it. and therefore says tool the told me to tell you I know that you did things wrong but I'm not separating myself from you I'm still going to be loyal to you because I know that the mistakes you do and all you need to do is admit and take responsibility I made a mistake take own up to it and say I did it but I didn't want to and that's the of and then says you know why because of your words because you were able to show up and say it's my fault I'm not blaming anybody else I shouldn't have done it but Abisher my real roten is to do your roti my mozz You'll never find me says the pulling away from you.