Bitachon 163 - Wanting to Want Spirituality

you're listening to the 163rd edition of the podcast we're studying together the and now what do I want what is my hope my hope is to you my hope is yours My Hope let's see what this means we studied this puz together last week we're going to see further some beautiful ideas first idea is from the IM to high this is such an important thing when it comes to when it comes to our livelihood when it comes to all of our needs we askem for our needs we sayem provide me with parasa provide me with health provide me with all of these things person needs to be careful don't just ask for your needs because you want those things ask for your needs because this is how I prepare this is how I am able to serve Hashem if I want to serve Hashem properly I have to have parosa I have to have livelihood and my kids have to be happy they have to be well clothed I have to have a place to live I have to have the money to pay for my rent listen carefully when I doin when I pray and I ask for my needs if I'm just asking them for my selfish self for number one for just for me so that's not something that Hashem wants think about if somebody comes to you to ask you for a favor and they clearly don't care about you they clearly don't care about uh you know they're not interested in they just care about themselves they come off as very selfish that's not the kind of person who you're not naturally going to say yes to you might if it's your kid or whatever you have some other reason says in a negative sense the Jewish people or individuals pray like a dog asking give me life give me food give me wealth I need to ask Hashem please give me what I ask for why so that I can serve you so that I can do I can do your will you're talking as sh help me have what I need so that I can fix the mistakes I've made let me have life so that I can do truv so I can repent when a person asks for food a person should have in mind I need the sustenance so that I can have the strength be able to serve you and also when it comes to wealth that's a different kind of prayer it's not a selfish prayer look it doesn't mean you're going to be perfect right we're still going to we're human beings we have our own needs we have our own wants but the the focus should be Hashem give me my needs so that I can serve you properly so that I can have so I can have the serenity that's the kind of prayer that's desired and will be accepted by God and it's not called faking anybody out you can say it and there's a general principle that when we do things in an external way of course we have to have in mind that it should get to the more pus way the more internal way but when we do things on the outside eventually it has a has an effect on the inside this is what our verse is saying what do I hope for as we saying what do I want my my hope is to you or another way of translating is my hope is for you which means that I'm asking you Hashem that you should help me so that I can serve you it's for you that I ask for your sake said I can serve you truthfully for real believe sh with a full heart without anything to stop me a person is hungry when when a person knows that he's not able to provide for himself and his family so it's it's man the person it causes the person to have many thoughts it confuses the person it weighs down on his heart hem give me my needs so that I can serve you properly so that I can not have the heavy thoughts that weigh on my art so that I can focus all of my art on the prayers that I say on the learning that I do help me so that the focus should be that way and I would say and I'm thinking as I'm speaking I would say isra we need peace we need our enemies to be destroyed we need them to be we need more helicopter crashes of our enemies why not CU we hate our enemies not just because they're R and they're Wicked but because we need to have the serenity I don't have to be worried about are they shooting at me in the north are they going to is it going to end up extending down to where I live are are the soldiers okay in Gaza what's going on with the US president was does he what stick is he trying to pull all of these thoughts we on our arts and prevent us from being able to focus on what's really important so Hashem clear out all those problems let that US president stop with his Shenanigans Hashem please let this war end let our enemies fall on their own wi so that we can serve you properly so we can learn Torah that we can study we can connect spirit says what does it mean says an interesting thing another completely different shot he says I don't know I don't know why my difficulties are coming I don't know the reason for my challenges what do I hope how can I possibly hope to know why the things are happening happening to me but what I do know is that I can hope to you alive you know why these difficulties have come to me and you know when they're going to leave so because uh it's not clear this what he's trying to say what does it mean because I know that you know when it's going to why it's coming when it's going to leave therefore I have some kind of I have a I have hope it's very interesting so I'm listening again his from 2017 and one of the things he says he says over a story that this couple came to him very of people involved in involved in teaching involved Ines inspiring others in theirm but they themselves had terrible terrible and terrible difficulties terrible trouble terrible challenges and the list just went on and on and on and at some point in the story and at some point in in giving over this this terrible Litany of of problems so the woman a rabbitson a the teacher she says to R why hasem do this to us and it's a terrible question sha said it's a terrible question how am I supposed to answer that question we can't answer the question we don't know the answer to why terrible things happen why do bad things happen to good people but what he said to them what he said to them hoping that they could take a little bit out of it and it's this idea this very idea that's in the he said to them do you know do you know how do you know that the universe is 13.8 billion light years across from one end to the other do you know that do you know how long it takes you know how long it would take for you to drive in your car at 60 miles per hour non-stop no rest stops no filling up gas you have endless gas drive 60 m per hour regular 100 kmers an hour keep driving and driving and driving until you reach one light year it would take you 12 million years that's what he said 12 million years to reach one light year now the entire universe is 13.8 billion light years across we can't understand the magnitude of the world that Hashem created the Physical Realm the physical world we live in this little dot on planet Earth and we occupy this small amount of space our daladas and we have the the trees around us my case we don't we don't understand how great hasem is how awesome his plan is said I don't know if it gave her any if it gave her any consolation but the idea is and this is what is understanding that is saying I don't I don't understand youm I don't understand the depth of why things happen to me in my life the challenges that come but I know that you're you know I know that you know it's not random there's a there's a there's a consolation to each and every one of us for all of our difficult situations that we have we all have them there's a consolation in knowing that God knows what he's doing some knows what he's doing when when when there's a war in Earth Israel and I am impacted by it and everyone is impacted by it crazy things going on on campuses throughout the United States and Europe why is this happening hashm Hashem knows what he's doing we don't we don't know what he's doing but he knows what he's doing and that's a great consolation it's a great consolation and that's part of what is about and that's what we're studying here together the says like this we have three different small ideas that are related that have to do with the first thing that said was that we ask Hashem that we should have what we need why so that we can serve him that's one aspect but here's another aspect I know that everything that I asked for all of my needs my livelihood my having a car having a a yard having grass growing having having uh all these things that I think I need having wealth it's nothing it's nothing it's not really important what can I really help to what can I really want what do I really want besides for you Hashem what do I really want besides for a relationship with you the the creator of the universe the is saying all I really want all I really want I'm sick of I'm sick of all the things that everyone else wants I'm sick of wanting Fame I'm sick of wanting success I'm sick of wanting money I just want a real relationship with you my God I just want to come close to you with all of my strength that's his language theik Yuda says the person looks at his choices in the world and he sees on one hand I have AEM I have an opportunity to serve God to be involved with something that will last forever right when I learn a word of Torah this word Echoes for forever we don't know what it means forever this word these words that we're studying together they Echo forever forever they have an impact on our souls all the way back to the root and that stays forever but then we have in front of us on the other hand we have the physical reality we have our physical desires and we want those things we want to be wealthy we want to we want to have our needs met we want to have Pleasures in this world so a person spends his life Gathering Gathering give me more give me more that's what is saying now right the starts off and now what do I hope to hem what's this end now now that I understand this this is the choice that's before me Petty momentary Pleasures desires or Eternal Eternal significance when I look at my choices when I look at my options I know what the right option is and I know what I want my my hope is to you my hope is that I will do what's going to last for me forever that's why the next p says hem saved me from my sins save me from my mistakes a UD says a beautiful thing he says you got to save me from my mistakes you got to save me from my desires Hashem help me direct my mind to want the things that are real help me have success spiritually help me have success spiritually because if my Consciousness can Revel in the success of spiritual matters then it will be less drawn after physical matters give me success help me have my needs but help them be secondary coming back to what we said before help me out my real needs my trust in you I I want to focus I want my heart to be desired Desiring a relationship with you my God finally we have who says we want to be yeah we want to be righteous we want to be good we want to do what's right we want to have then so doesn't mean that we are we we can't claim that we are but we want that that's what we want the main desire The Hope aspiration of a righteous individual this is what we want folks I wish that I could always be trusting in hem I wish that I would never worry I wish that I would never think if for some reason right now I don't have exactly what I need I wish I would never think that it's not going to come wish I always think hasem you're going to do it for me you're going to save me you're going to help me the the righteous individual not trying to figure out how he can get money he's just wishing that he would trust Hashem his his his mind is occupied with trying to get to that trust R he just wishes he just desires to to to trust in he's always opening up his hands he's praying he's asking God hasem help me trust you he's saying God please help me serve you with a real heart please give me a pure heart please help me that I should have the courage should have the strength to hope to you Hashem is right this is what King David the sadic says he expressed to all of that which we could wish for he said what do I hope for my hope is for you not interested in receiving rewards of wealth and and payments and and prizes and honor ra the main thing is that what do I want I just want to want I just want to want I just want to have me talking to you I just want to be open to you that you're the one who's giving it to me that's all I want to hope for I just want says in the name of the I just want to have a pure heart I just want my heart to be purified from all of the false desires all the fake things the fame the fortune the Des you know all the physical desires a person can want I don't want to want those things I just want to want to have me talking in you Hashem thank you so much for listening we'll see you again next time