CHAZAQ's Torah Talks #78: Rabbi Michael Mansour - Building Communites

Tuesday night program with special guests tonight we have with us a very special guests good to be back in the office once again it's always great to have a shield around here tonight we're going to be speaking about an exciting topic of building communities and uh the roof has a lot of experience about it and we're going to discuss a momentarily but before we discuss the topic a little bit back when I'm about to rub I know very well but for the audience a little bit well I was born in the Syrian community at a time when there was no um was only opened up like in like about 1980 or maybe the late 70s but there was no real Habit in school so I went to Shiva Brooklyn I grew up with Yeshiva Brooklyn by Romanus Mandel a lot of the serendi children were greeted with Open Hands by Robert Mandela and a lot of the community was built with his foreign maybe the highlight of my life those three and a half years and then I was in Lakewood for like uh 12 years after that so the topic of tonight the building communities the rough guitar is very well whether it's Brooklyn Lakewood everything it's real amazing phenomenon today is doing over here in Queens your inspiration so many people coming and learning studying and growing Abraham colleague and the business guys the back room post High School so so building communities around me so I know a lot of people and uh they're always moving from one Community the next Community many different reasons whether it's because of uh housing maybe it's because they want to just change of scenery maybe they need to be closer to their work whatever the situation is what should one be looking for when one moves from Community Aid to community B what makes a community a community a to our community so I think this is really a twofold question first what is being part of a community question Rabbi Miller once alava Shalom which he was one of my great Inspirations in life my mother used to take me a lot of time to his classes Friday night that's called wow and when I was a little bit older like in 11th grade I even had the zahood to be the take man in those days there was no you there was no video machines or anything he was the originator of this concept of taping shooting so I used to run the put up the tapes if the By Night save the time for me she wants to come I used to put up the tapes and I used to go to this place unbelieving today the tapes the shoe of the video yeah he's the father of all the audio the audio concept of today's generation when nobody was doing it he was already recording tips he has tapes from the early 70s or late 60s so I remember he said once that a person a wife called them up complaining about a certain issue in the home and he asked him where is he driving so he said he prays uh Friday night and this show about morning he prays in the second true that depends what time he wakes up so that's whoever wherever he is maybe we're friends there's that during the week he's in he's in a like a steamboo every man you can pick up so he says if a person doesn't have a love and doesn't have a community he's a man without a country wow so he said he's a man without a country so how could he be um level-headed his point was is that one of the most important things of a community is what can I get from the community is what we all want but as JFK said don't ask what you could do you could do for what the country can do for you as well you could in order for a person to be part of the community he has to be part of a community he can't just use the community as a convenience store he needs some type of uh mignon he goes to the he goes to the show if he doesn't need them again if they need him he's not there for them a community means he give this is part of your life this shoeless part of your life now it doesn't have to be that it's only one place sometimes but it has to be some it's a person a stability that he's part of the this this um of this Jew if he doesn't feel part of a community that means that he is going to give into it that means he's loyal to the community he's not going to get the advantage of being of the Loyalty that a community gives back to you that's the first thing that I feel and a lot of times people like there's a phenomenon of people like ashua without a rabbi yes sure that a rabbi is a social club a shul was never meant to be a social club aksul a social club you go you chill you have a kid issue yeah you cuddle together that's a social club you're only doing it for your only your own personal advance but you nobody you're not making sure that somebody else gave it from you also a community means that in today's day and age maybe a community means what could I get from the community but you can have a good time if there's a hundred if there's not people around this so you need more people to be there that you should have a good time but if you want them to have a good time and you care about them and you care about them well-being that's a community and a rabbi is usually the one who unifies the shoe that means if you're closer to Rama you have a student or that or whatever it is we can get more into specifics but if it's not something that you feel that you're part of that you're giving to it you will never get from it like I remember when I was living in bar Park rather Wolfson the magazine show there was a person that had a question that he has to run early to work so if he came to David in the morning show would you know that the the praying and the moon at Israel is a little bit longer than average but they really pray over there it's good to be there unbelievable people don't have patience to pray because they never prayed but the minute you pray over there you're not you're not giving to God a prayer you're getting from the prayer it's very important and maybe we could bring this in a little bit into tefila also because today everybody loves to rush to philan because they look at it as it's an obligation to God we look that we do everything we're obligated to give our wives to help them so we help them we're obligated we go obligated to go to should we go to shoe but we're not really realizing the greatness of the way Hashem structured a community a Jewish life is not that you have to give your dues it's you receiving you get you're much more on the receiving end than on the giving in but we look at it as obligation that's why takes three minutes longer you're getting nervous if they tell you to come to shoot I thought I learned with a group no it has to be entertaining for me why do we need entertainment all day long at them you can watch television and have them for that you can go watch a sports game but the shoes not for entertainment it's your life if it gives you life but if you think that it's only for entertainment you're not going to get life out of it but I would say to go back to the rabbi Rabbi Wolfson he said to him instead of going and praying in a local shoe the full te Fila it's better if you come to the school over here and you pray as much as you could with the Cebu and then you leave early he said words of a community the importance of this this is my place I'm part of a place of course the tefila is better over there but besides that ifilla being better over there this is my house this is my this is part of my apartment I don't go in in gear they called a shul they didn't call it a shoe they're called the reason why they called it is because in Yiddish the word steam means your house so they wanted it that the concept of the shoe should be an extension of your house it's a home a second home or a home away from home why because I have my bed I have my room am I ever coming to sleep in your house for the night I'm coming for Shabbat you invite me it's a it's An Occurrence but it's on a daily basis they wanted you to feel that the vet can answer that you're going to the community that you're going through it's part of your life so if you look at as a shoe as part of your life and people look at the shoeless part of their life then beautiful but I have people that uh let's say for example I grew up in a territora you see the same people these people they won't pray anywhere else unless they're at work and they can't get them in yet every morning like soldiers but they're soldiers they they learn the same time that they're the same time they disciplined you go to any Rabbi Miller had his people that were so loyal loyal to him but he was loyal to them and they grew to be the nicest balabatham of Flatbush today we don't have that Community mind because we like to be we look at as a shoe as a convenience store that is I think the most important thing that a person has to look for in a community that it's a community that destroys their life the shul is there the rabbi is is a rabbi for all of them that you want to connect to him because if you don't want to connect them you just want to use a man to come to somehow to get a nice uh Aliyah over there it's not worth it and everything powerful amazing so the amazing is when a person should be looking for when he's moving to a new community is making sure he has a shoe a show with a rather rub that he connects to a community that he's going to be involved with and that's having an effect on them so that's how in essence the communities that have an effect on the person through the target so one second so now what is the gain from the from having such a community so I want to just give you a simple example today we're having a lot of a lot of challenges with children and I want to say that this is one of my messages that I I have a passion for it for example in my family we have rebelia Britney the receiver Yeshiva he's the rabbi of the Tommy this the chief and for general questions we can go to remember a fool but my kids feel comfortable enough today if they have a question they can go and approach the rabbi themselves I was by a friend of mine Rabbi Kaufman he lives in Muncie I remember being by him for Shabbat I don't know for what reason and we prayed by Rabbi Schlesinger today he's a very prominent manager in Detroit I remember we prayed by Rabbi Schlesinger or the the famous rabbit slaves and go the great speaker in Muncie and I observed him and he when everybody went to say shabbat shalom to him he stopped every child and he asked him how was your week how did you learn what are you learning he knew what they were learning and he and he held up he was able to you know he's in sixth grade he's in fifth grade what he's learning babita he's learning uh every single child first of all they waited for that because the recognition from a rabbi is more than the recognition that you could get at home unfortunately at home sometimes there's a lot of stress and the second thing and a child that gets that recognition he's ready to learn good the whole week just to get that smile from their ever a lot of rabbanim thing also they maybe sometimes the rough could make a mistake that he thinks that all is important for him to do is to say his class to say his shield I don't think that that's so important the most important thing of a rabbi is to make sure somebody else is happy to make sure like even in our Shield you see we started bigger we keep on throwing them out why because if you can learn where to have a small group of three and you could learn a small group of three it's fascinating I want to say one thing also Hashem because he's like the the the pioneer of building the Torah in the Syrian Community when he started I remember he started with 10 Abrahim maybe 10 Abrahim mostly asking us some of them he brought in two rabbis very similar we're trying to emulate him but he hired through that by name along with him to say classes in the basement now Allah they're the only ones who have sang The Cliffs you know he could have had 30 Boys in this class instead of having 10 10 and 10. but he said to me recently and I didn't know this was a strategy he said you have to build small groups and solid and build from that you want big class you're not building nothing big classes because you don't have that individual connection faster you try to catch too much you don't catch it when you focus and you see that because of that small group that he has he built an Imperia he built uh but how big was this group 20 guys 10 in before shakhi 10 after that's where by the way where I got that idea that I have 10 guys before and after and is in the middle he was there but it's I'd rather have 10 and 10 than have even 20 at one time and then at night we have the ninth column I I have 10 guys maximum any more than that send them out because we see like we have maybe we just sent them out of the shield who sent them to an individual small shoot let him sit with three guys because EV we don't want that the class should be big we want that the people should grow yeah and the way you have that class growing is by giving that individual attention and you see it and a lot of times they don't have the CH they don't know the children's first name the children should be able to come over to you and search about you along with you it's not that the father has that once that a child feels part of the community he thinks 20 times more if he should do the wrong thing I don't mean we all have challenges with all those sin but I'm saying that drastic cut off the people make today in today's generation I believe that 90 of it would have been forgotten about if the parents would be loyal to a rub be part of the community and the child should feel it I I'm saying it from my heart because I I I really being honest I think that's one of the biggest challenges that people have today that because a lot of these people are diving in shoes the fathers or maybe tell me that they don't have connection to an individual rub and that the child knows that the father lives with the Rev and if they don't see that and they don't feel that connection so they don't they're only they're individual people they're not part of something once you're part of something that's what you see in a lot of big hasidism that they have a massive so it's much less the challenge because after all I'm part of something big I'm not just in an individual house things that come out of the heart into the heart powerful message by Robin Mansour so you mentioned how the community has an effect on the through the rabbi through the show through the Torah how does the Torah just have the Holy to have an effect on an individual within the community Baba has a lot of experience with teaching and you've probably seen scenarios of people being from Scenario a and becoming to completely different how does the Torah affect an individual the the the the first thing is that when a person starts learning Quran doesn't have that natural enjoyment that you have when you get into it today there was a there's a new concept of me that it became worldwide yeah and a lot of people that have even said that if they learned through missionaries today but robotic it's a beautiful thing to have to learn to feel me is a beautiful thing the daily is wrong behind it but that is something you're doing to pay your dues you're paying your dues to Hashem so if it's a pain you do so you have a grocery bill and you have a grocery bill to Hashem and you have a grocery built uh to the Torah and you have the grocery bill for your wife so everyone is a different responsibility but not learning is not a grocery bill foreign means to say you're giving up something if a person is eating ice cream and he's giving up cleaning the streets that means he's giving up something that's not giving up something that's he's giving up something that's a waste of time for something that's more beneficial a person that's learning Torah he has to feel like he's in a candy store you know child in a candy store but but he has to appreciate it he has to feel it when a person puts his second and he develops understanding it's a spiritual high that a physical high can help bring it to them now the problem is that you see even in the class when you say a good caption a good topic and and and a person understands really a gamara and he gets to the bottom even it could be a gamara that's not related to his personal life his whole personality changes and if his personality changes automatically he's a different person he's a happier person a person that that like David Miller it's not a gimmick we've taken all as a gimmick the Torah Tora it's not a gimmick you try it you invite a person has a class with a rabbi he feels an accomplishment he learns what I have like we have Hashem we have 14 average and you have a few of them that have already have three there's only three that started learning a full day in the cola because of the the cause of the learning and they're not getting even paid why because they realize that the The energy they they enjoy the energy there's a very positive energy people today the real problem is is that we're so fast food mentality that we don't ever sit down and develop a passion for something you want to go to a game okay I decide I'm going to the game I'm on the plane I'm going to a game I want to go do this we're so spontaneous tonight gives you patience it gives you the the enjoyment of the real world look today people sit down to this thing and they won't fit down like in one minute what kind of steak is that you don't enjoy the steak how do you enjoy your steak you enjoy the steak you're cutting it you eat it you don't even put in ketchup in the fancy restaurants they don't even give you ketchup because but we don't want we don't want to develop a taste even for a steak we don't have patience for it by the time the steak is there we want to have it down we have to wait more than five minutes we're getting impatient how do you develop a taste Source thing you think about it I'm saying even in the negotia world if you really want to enjoy your steak you're waiting for it I'm getting it and they're cooking it fresh the the tongue is getting uh the saliva is developing you you're waiting for it build it it's a build up and then this day comes and you eat it slowly and you appreciate it then you now what happens I order this thing I just as I looked at the menu the restaurant 10 minutes later I wanted 10 minutes later is down yeah and what is he walk out with a bill of two hundred dollars a person and a stomach ache he doesn't appreciate it but when you learn something when anything that is developed with patience with work and and and you appreciate what you're doing automatically it changes your life the same way the state will change your life if you appreciate food so too if you're going to learn to allow much more over that it's going to make you a different person it's going to make you appreciate appreciate life that's going to make you appreciate a spiritual enjoyment it's just that's the only thing Hashem says you'll taste it but you got to taste it when you walk down food you don't taste it taste it and you'll see that Hashem is good and it's really like it's amazing admit hundred percent as a child learning wasn't so exciting you know children are young they don't appreciate it but as I get older I enjoy the mornings here the Night series a rabbi touched upon this before from your experience what is the most important attribute of a rough of a rabbi if you go to the library on that a little bit more the same way I was saying that the way the child needs the rabbi the most important thing of a rabbi is to be involved in the nuances of the community a lot of times people I'll give you uh I may I can give you two stories or three stories people love stories I'll give you one I went to Panama City Shiva I remember speaking terrible fool about it and he I think is he's a torment of partnovich also he had a son over there and I was speaking to him he said we were discussing yeshivas and I I had a Facebook and he thought it was a good idea so usually what a Ralph does he gives you an ATA and he gives you an advice and he goes home and he says okay he gets on the phone he calls about Rob kinderman who was the Nazi the president of the Yeshiva he was the head of the Yeshiva he says I want to bring a buck okay you could send them over and says no I'm coming with them he says let's get into the car he drove me I didn't have a license then I was 18. he took the he drove me to the car and he went and he took me to the interview and he sat with me through the interview for an hour's night he had he already had a community he really was a rabbi but he he felt the Yeshiva boy has to get into Yeshiva he went down there I think that the same way I told you we have shot this countless stories he would pull over buffer in the Yeshiva and if he would ask them did you go on a trip and he said I didn't go on a trip so you think the gondola door that is making governments he's busy with degelato he's busy with everything else he says maybe you're short on a few dollars that you can't afford the bus to go to the to the to the to the yam to the ocean you have to go businessman he said I think it was absmore's set by the punjab's funeral he said it says he says avi avi is a father a father is of an individual attention means leadership he says either your father or you're a leader he said it's impossible to be a leader if you don't give individual attention a REV has to care about everybody's if he's happy today he has to be able to notice it if there's a child over there it's let me go over to him how was your day if there's a person that's a little bit going through its a situation he has to pick up that something's bothering him today if there's not the classes are just the way to get him into the door to connect but the connection has to through the genuine care to every individual people like big projects big things today they don't understand big things happen when you focus on the individual only small actions and people look at it small but the truth is it's not small actions but in this world it's considered small action you give a kid a candy or you give them a little uh a little pat on the back and you say oh have a good day we look at it as small actions but this makes it that when his father has a challenge of with the child if he should send them but I mean not to public school or not which we know your organization is the leading um the leading fight that leading the fight and taking kids out of public school but if you want to really get them out of public school we have to make Public Schools shouldn't even be an alternative if you want we yeah like the rabbit discussed you told me in the past the way I worked by the Syrian Community I think it was that the yeshivas would always be growing there would always be more there wasn't even an option right that's what I understood you see all the communities that really grew whether it's in Mexico or it's in Flatbush both of these schools when they opened up more of like we would call them more of a hard-line school the general public was upsetting them oh really oh when they started they got it over the head what do you think what are you doing you're changing the tradition what do you mean we were always like everybody's one and everybody can do that we had those situations yeah even now that we have to pay their people say you're going more right-wing why can't we be everybody together but people are making a mistake the higher you go everybody moves along with you you see the certain Community 30 years ago there was an option of public school heading is not even an option of public school because everybody moved so much to the right so automatically the the if the every it's a domino effect so everybody's moving more in Mexico when Rabbi Madusa Shalom started the the cold alarm and he started a hater so there was other I think it's okay they were upset at him but what happened all of a sudden today they're more than he was 30 years ago even because because he upped the bar so that's what we hope that we have in this community that you should be out of business amazing and it should be even other things but but but not getting kids from programs but but the programs but the problem is that a lot of these parents that are sending to public schools are not that they don't know anything they make it Luciano they they're traditional they have they have Yom Kippur they have Sukkot they have pizza or some of them even don't open lights aren't Japan they don't know more but and they're still saying like the Public's not against exactly they're not they just don't know any better if we educate everyone which is what kazak is working on you but the children the most important thing we gotta up the bar of the bus and the men at the bar then the public school shouldn't even be an option you're fighting day and night 1300 children out of out of public school and there's what I understand there's thousands more thousands or more yeah thousands more and everyone should really get involved it shouldn't be a one-man show or one man's Mission it's impossible one person can't get 10 000 kids out of out of a at a public school but one of the ways how to do it is if we raise the whole Bond the community learning more like they would call black hats so the minute all of a sudden there's more black cats so even the people that alone move up higher so then the guy that's on the bottom he says you know I'm really out of it by me sending my feet to public school what am I doing so at least I'll move up to barangola and then if the kids from Barack will move up to China there's a domino thing but the exactly Sam you should never you did all the other things you do are great but this is even greater because yeah yeah no but but um but I'm being honest by you picking up the bar and that's what you're trying to do people say the cola what does the Colo have to do with Hazard you know the minute that we start learning the bar goes up goes up people around the community are saying this is like a milestone everybody's learning public path okay all of a sudden we want to get them out and we even have a few cases that people started learning that's right they had an option of sending their child to public school they wanted them and they went and gave it to you Shiva this is this is this is an amazing thing just the beginning we'll be doing much more minutes together with achieving the whole Community but so many amazing gems so many amazing advice so many amazing insights who haven't been having a customer talks one final message for our broader audience maybe a last grand slam another the the the real message is don't use Judaism as a responsibility don't use Judaism is not a responsibility it's a social life it's the best social life that a person could get amen people look at it whether it's your learning even you could have a black hat and you could be the most credited person but if you're doing it because you have to do it because that's an obligation it's never going to work because a child that reminds you used to save the few times if the father's not happy about it and it's an obligation the child's not going to stick with it a person has to create the enjoyment of this is his life it's his lifestyle it's his way of enjoyment his his his his his friends are what he cares about and make sure don't ever put that around like these children never never do that that's the worst thing you can do that's maybe the biggest Corbin of the new generation because we have a lot of fun they think they can put down somebody else the worst thing and I think somebody once told me there's one of The Big Valley said that after the fight between the argument between Haskell was able to come into the community because even if the fight is Hashem but once one person sides with somebody else already you lose that respect and the only way children stay good is when they see the respect to grow up in my head within my house when he would come fundraising he could use it if we had more time maybe our next talk we would talk about the badami which is uh yes I wanna thank you for everything and especially for this amazing insights and the Great Horror talking I want to remind everyone watching every single Tuesday night because that tour talks with special guests 8 30 PM Eastern Standard Time special shout out to turn down thank you for hosting along with the dozens of other platforms and podcasts that are out there thank you very much daily gaming.org shout out to you thank you very much at Dollar Day really goes a very very far away seeing yomi Robbie not the mayor Rahman the whole team over here Izzy everyone at the Lee or everyone that's at the Kazakh operations over here really appreciate your your help and uh every single Tuesday night we mentioned and make sure to get 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