Rabbi Yaakov Rahimi | Hashem Knows Best | CHAZAQ

[Music] Welcome everyone. If you could find your way to your seats and get yourself comfortable. We're going to get ready to start this year. We want to thank everyone for coming out for this special evening. We're a great honor to hear you speak. Have our Jaime coming all the way from Lakewood. We want to give a thank you to Congregation Tove for opening up the show as they always do. We partner Khazak and Congregation Tove throughout the year on many events. Baruch Hashem and just allowing them to open their doors and help spread Torah into the community. And a special thanks to our sponsors for the for this evening, the Mataya family, who dedicated this evening for a Louis Nishmat, Rosa Tsvia but who Khusni may her Nishama have an Aliyah. And just like tonight, Khazak organizes many events, hundreds of events throughout the year in many different communities with with Yahrzeits and dedications and tonight's was was also the the Yahrzeit of Shmuel Moshe ben HaChaver Meir well as many others throughout the year we do these Yahrzeits and dedication events. So, you want to dedicate an event like this for yourself, you can reach out to Khazak to do that. And additionally, Khazak along with their events, their main focus is actually impacting the public school students through many after school programs in over 15 different locations and also a dedicated division that is called PSTY, public public school to Yeshiva where we help transfer Jewish kids from public school into Yeshiva where we've transferred over 1300 kids into the Yeshivas and we're going to have many many more with with your help. And without further ado, it's my great pleasure to introduce our speaker for tonight who is an instrumental role in the Mishnah Berurah Tiferes project as well as a renowned speaker and machzik who has spoken many times for Khazak and many other organizations. So, please welcome Rabbi Rechimni. Thank you. Okay. Thank you everyone for coming. Thank you Tove Shul for having me. I am related I think to the founders of the Shul, the Nissanyan family. My brother-in-law is David Nissanyan who's the son of Rabbi Avraham Nissanyan and his mother Alav Shalom Golda. For those who recognize her, Golda Nissanyan Alav Shalom passed away a couple years ago. So, I do have a little bit of a shaychus to the family. Remember we asked me did I ever heard of Tove Shul? I said, "Of course." Officially, we're family. Thank you for the Khazak organization. As usual, always doing great work spreading Torah, Judaism everywhere. I was at a convention last week, a big Kiruv convention where you have Rabbis from literally across the globe this time from Brazil, from Chile, from England, from Belgium, Russia. We met the Chief Rabbi of Russia. It was the coolest thing. I'm walking around over there in the lobby hotel and people came over to me from England, from all these different places and they're like, "Oh, you're Yaakov Rechimni." I said, "Yes." "From the Khazak organization." I was like, "Yes." So, Khazak is across the world. It's not only in Queens, it's recognized as a powerful organization across the world spreading Torah. And Hashem should give them koach to keep on going with strength, patience, and a lot of money. This year is the Yahrzeit Nishmat. Am I mentioning somebody? Rosa Tsvia. Rosa Tsvia? But Khusni. But Khusni. Khusni Khusni. Khusni. Hashem should give her Aliyah Nishama mana mana beGan Eden. You know, Olam Haba is not pashut, Rabbotai. The next world is not pashut. It's not an easy It's not a free ride. When a person after 120 years goes to Olam Haba, it's not a free ride. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is medakdek. Hashem every detail of a person's life, even if we forgot, which most of the time we forget what happened in the past, Hashem never forgets the good and the bad, the mitzvot and the averot. It could be many years ago when you were 20 years old, you were nice to your friend in school. You were about to speak lashon hara and you stopped. You forgot about it. You know who didn't forget about it? Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So, be'eretz Yisrael after 120, Hashem is medakdek. Hashem is careful. Hashem remembers everything that a person did. So, having a shiur l'iluy nishmat somebody, no matter how great of a tzaddik they were, it helps tremendous in shamayim. We don't see it in this world. It's like imagine a person I got to visit one time. I got to visit people in jail. Jewish people in jail. A certain type of organization they go give them chizuk. It was one of the best experiences I ever had. Not to their offense, I wish they weren't there. But I'm saying as a Rabbi going to such a place it was an eye-opening thing how really free we are. We think being in traffic is called being in jail. You don't know what you're talking about. Go to real jail, see what goes on over there. You think walking home and the house is a mess. You think that's all That's your That's not your Go to jail, you see what goes on in jail. It's an eye-opening thing how much freedom we have. How much time we have in our fingers. But what does a person do with the free time? Spends it on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube. Boo boo. The whole life the whole life spending and spending and spending. What are you doing? You're in jail with your phone. You know, it's this unbelievable thing. A person's life can be intercepted and kidnapped by the iPhones. A person's life can literally be kidnapped and intercepted by the iPhones. You know how much time people spend on their phones? You can go crazy. Hashem gave you such a beautiful life. Health, a beautiful world, so much Torah, Moshe Rabbenu, Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, Chacham Ovadia, Shulchan Aruch, Gemara, Shabbat, Hamotzi lechem min haaretz, tefillin, prayer, chesed. Why did Hashem give us such a beautiful world? Such a high neshama, high soul that every single one of us has as the Jewish people. Did he give it to us to stop and spend it on iPhones? Spend it on social media? Spend it on shalom watching Netflix? That's what Hashem gave you a high neshama for. Come on. Imagine, you know, they say the fancier the wedding is, the wealthier the people are making the wedding. That's usually the rule. I went to a big wedding the other day in in in in Brooklyn. What a fancy wedding. Even the hallway, I think they hired like a whole zoo. I saw like giraffes and cows and horses. I don't know what was going on over there, but it was a very very fancy wedding. And I know whose wedding it was cuz it was very wealthy guy. He donates a lot. That was a fancy wedding. Just walking into the hall, you can see, "Whoa, this guy's got money." Sometimes you can walk into a wedding, the flowers are fake, the food is okay, you know, the the lights, the settings. So, you know, okay, they're not so wealthy. Important people, but not so wealthy. Hashem created this world. Beautiful world. You know how deep the oceans are? We just learned about this other Titanic that just sunk. I saw pictures of it. You see how deep the water is? How scary is that? The ocean is so deep. It's beyond our minds how massive and complex nature is in this world. As much as we think we discovered the world, we're not even close to halfway discovering what's going in the world, even in the water. All the animals, all the birds, all the bugs, all the fish. And why did Hashem create this whole beautiful world? Why did Hashem create such a beautiful stage, such a beautiful setting? For what? For a person to spend time on his iPhone? For a person to fight with other people? For a person to run after money his whole life? That's why Hashem created such a beautiful world? No way. No way. There has to be a greater purpose. If Hashem made such a beautiful world, that means the people he created to use the world are beautiful. They have high neshamot. Hashem has high expectations of us. What is that expectations, Rabbotai? That is to overcome bad, work on our middot, work on being good people, ba'alei chesed, learning Torah, more mitzvot, saying no to sins, no to the yetzer hara. Hashem has high expectations of what we're supposed to perform in this world and that is to become great people. What defines great? Not wealth, not fame, not properties, not products. What defines great? How much Torah and mitzvot a person is involved in on a daily basis. How nice is the person to his wife or the wife to her husband. You know, I just read this morning and Chacham Rabbi reminded me to go back to what I prepared. I just read this morning from the Gaon of Vilna something so scary and I hope you don't mind that I'm sharing it with you, but it's it's kishmak. It's very good. The Gaon of Vilna writes, l'atid lavo after 120, when a person goes to Olam Haba, you have a person that was good ben adam l'makom, but ra l'beriyot, which means when it comes to the relationship with God, with mitzvot, he was a good guy. He kept Shabbat. He learned Torah. Kosher was top top. Jewish education for his kids, don't worry about it, top top. Everything was good. But when it came to the beriyot, when it came to treating others, ai yay yay. This guy needed to work on himself. Wasn't the nicest guy. Learns learns learns, gives tzedakah, gives tzedakah, beautiful. But when he comes home, boom, slaps his wife. What's going on? Gives to the guy such a nice guy. When he comes home, treats his wife like a who knows what Shalom. Then says the of you know, you can have a person that when it came to being nice to others, nice is like a vague thing, but what I mean to say nice to the it means there's a person that was a good guy. They really wanted the good for other people. They really helped them out. He was a good to the out. But he wasn't good with God with Shabbat wasn't the best. So the car wasn't the best. Wasn't the best. You have to work on it. Says the what is the difference between the two people and two options? The person that was good with but not a good guy with others. When he finishes getting home cuz getting home cleans your sins, even though he finished his time, he served his time. I once met a guy that was a criminal. He became a janitor. He told me a famous line. He was in jail for many years. So he told me Rabbi, let me tell you a line. If you can't If you can't serve the crime, no. If you can't serve the time, don't commit the crime. That's what he told me. You hear this line? If you can't serve the time, don't commit the crime. That's what this guy told me. He told me a big lesson. I feel they're not worth it. Sins are not worth it. Cuz if you want to know what happens when a person sins, if you can't serve the time in the next world, don't commit the crime. So everything is off. Everything is done. Besides the relationship with the of you know, a person who unfortunately falls for the what happens to the person? It's based on science. You know what happens to the person? He detaches himself from God. And the more you detach the way from the less happy you will be. The more you connect to with the happier the person will be. The more light you will have in his life. The more all you will have in your life. I never met him. And I met none of them were sad. None of them were depressed. None of them were complaining. They were just happy good people smiling, not complaining, happy. And what did they have already? They have a massive you know the of you know which is you have a liquid is a big guy. You ever go to his house, you're going to be shocked. What do you think he has in his house already? He still has those phones with the cords. Maybe some of you still have you know those phones with the cords. He still If you're trying to reach him, he still goes uh uh uh uh uh. Tell him we got to get going. You know, I'm trying to reach you. What's going on? Uh uh uh. He says, no. I like to stay the way it was over the years. He still has the old phone. A couch. This couch he has one small couch in his living room. It's ripped. You think he can't afford a new couch? You think he didn't have donors coming to him and saying Rabbi, we'll buy you a couch. He's not interested. Why is he not interested? It doesn't talk to him. He doesn't care. His focus and his purpose is much greater and bigger. What's that focus? More and more that's what he's a of you know. All he does is learn Torah. You know, one time in remember me to go back again to that shot. One time in you know, me and my friends are walking. It was a Thursday night. Thursday night that's what they call night. Where you step extra Thursday night and you learn more and you hang out with friends. You have children. You have cake. Good times in you know. So one time in it was basically middle of the night. It must have been like 3:00 in the morning. Me and my friends leave and we walk to our dorm. And when we walk to our dorm, we have to pass by the apartment. He lives in an apartment building by the of you know. To pass the apartment. We peek through the window because the lights were on. So we went to the it was a little open the the the what's the how do you say the the shades? The curtains were a little open. And we see inside he's making copies. He has a copy machine. He was making copies of them. The next morning when I saw him in when he gave I said you know, you don't have to make the copies anymore of this one. Make me the copy man. I want to have this to make the copies. Call me whatever you need me. I make the copies. Tells me no you don't understand. There's no official time when I make copies. And most of the time it happens in the middle of the night. I mean you don't go to sleep. He's like, what go to sleep? I have to prepare for Friday and then Friday afternoon then then on Shabbat and then this and then this. It's not that they're not tired. It's that they don't have time to go to sleep. It's a whole different level. There's no time to go to sleep. They nap a little bit. I once ate Friday night. He barely ate. His wife the gave him such a nice plate. It was a nice piece of chicken on his plate by the way. Nice piece of chicken, rice, carrots. He hardly ate. He had like one bite just for Shabbat to have chicken. That's all. And his is telling him eat eat a little bit. And he's falling asleep and he's falling asleep. He fell asleep. But what did he do? Listen to this. He fell asleep during the meal. But after the meal, him and his wife the listen to this. Every Friday night, him and his wife go on a 30 minute walk alone. 30 minute walk alone him and his wife. They spend time together. To this day they do it. The of you know. A person who is nothing else talks to him. It's not that they have a nothing talks to him. You know what it's like to have dinner? It's like imagine you go Remember me to go back. Imagine you go to a very big trip. What's the funnest trip you ever went on? Huh? What's the funnest trip you ever went on? You don't have to share. What's the funnest trip I ever went on? Let's say uh funnest trip We went to the Poconos with the family. That was nice. Poconos was nice. We rented a house Airbnb. We had a pool. We played volleyball. It's nice. Always you coming from Lakewood, right? To New York. Yeah. You have fun also in traffic. Traffic is so boring. I'm just saying. It's really boring. You know the of you know he used to travel in from Lakewood to Queens for a for to spread in the you know. I once asked him he was in his I think he was in his 50s already. I said, how do you do it? A guy like you, you could be a of you know. You have so much you can have so many you're driving sitting in traffic to Queens? And he says he told me a tremendous lesson and I tell it to myself when I'm sitting in traffic cuz the other day I drove to Long Island from Lakewood to Long Island. It was 2 hours and 45 minutes. That's very boring. Okay. So I asked him, so how did you do it? So he tells me every person has his dose of pain in this world. There's no getting away free. Every person has their sack of of pain. You choose where you want it to be. I'm choosing my traveling is my pain. But I want my family to be healthy. I can learn Torah. That's what he told me. My pain is my traveling. No problem. But the rest is free. That's what it's a tremendous lesson. Every person chooses where they want their pain. You know, the said everybody complains about their suffering in their life. But he says let's say we're able to be we're able to take every person will put all their all their pain in a bag in a shopping bag. And then you go to Times Square and every person puts in a pile like a huge mountain. Everybody drops their pain in the bag the shopping in Times Square. Everybody takes their let it go. Take it out. Put it in Times Square. Then says every person go choose which you want. You're not happy with yours? Go choose the other guys. Says the every person will go choose their their struggles. Why? Cuz only gives struggles to a person that only they can survive and live through and get close to you know. How in the world did I get to this? What are we up to? The gun. The what? Oh, the of you know. Thank you. Thank you. So the said like this. So he says in the person that wasn't nice to other people so much, but he was good with this. Even though when he finishes getting home, he can't leave getting home. He's still in room A called getting home. He finished his time, but he can't leave. The only way he can leave to go to you know, says the is only if it's like from his generation comes and pulls him out. And then he says you have the other person. The person that was nicer to others. And I'll explain what nicer means more particular. But he wasn't the best guy with such a guy he says when he finishes getting home, he leaves room getting home. But he's right in front of you know. He doesn't go right in, but at least he leaves room getting home and he's right in front of you know. You know. Which means says the of you know, a person that's rude to others in this world, even when you finish GETTING HOME, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING. BUT A PERSON THAT'S ACTUALLY good but respects others, when he finishes getting home, don't worry. They're going to kick you out. Eventually you're going to enter but at least you're out of you know. I learned from this tremendous lesson. It's serious stuff. Respecting others is serious. It's not a one time thing only on and you know. This is a everyday job. How many opportunities in our day do we have to actually respect others or other way disrespect others? You come to in the morning. For example, you come to in the morning. You're about to enter our parking spot. And the guy gets right in there. Uh? But you just messed up. You go inside the you're about to put your down. You're about to another guy comes and says, uh this is my spot. But you know. You're about to leave first. He opens the door. He opens the door. You go to work. Who knows how many times you can or bully other people. Person comes home. Who knows what can happen? The way he talks to his wife. The way he talks to his kids. This is a dangerous thing. But it's a serious serious thing. I want to share with you what means. Cuz somebody who just asked me that. No, that was different Somebody asked me define me exactly what it means to respect another person. Cuz I don't want to sound vague. So, I'll share with you a story about Reb Yerucham Levovitz, the famous Mashgiach of the Mir in Europe. One time, he was going on a train in Europe, and the doors were closing in on him by the train. You know, like you have in the subway, "Watch for the closing doors. Got to watch for the doors." The doors were closing in on him, and his foot, as he was hopping the train, got stuck. So, his shoe fell out. Before the door closes fully, the rabbi did like a 180 or 360, whatever you call it. He took off his shoe, chucked it out the door. So, now two shoes are out. His talmidim asked him, "Rabbi, you lost one shoe, why you lose the other?" He tells them, "What do you mean? Somebody is going to find that shoe. Why let them have one pair of shoe? Let them have a full pair of shoes." Now, what's the lesson from the story? This is a deep story. You know why? Only a person that always thinks about other people, only a person that's in his mind is helping others, can think so fast before the door closes to turn around and throw out the other shoe. Some people will think maybe the next day about it, "Oh, I should have You know what? I should have thrown the other shoe out because anyway someone's going to find it." Some people may not think about it at all. Some people may be an hour later. Reb Yerucham Levovitz, within a second, was able to think about the person that's going to come and pick up the shoe. So, let me give him my other shoe. How does a person think about that so fast? When it's always on his mind. Ben Adam L'Chavero, when he's always thinking, "How can I respect? How can I respect?" A person who's always like that can be able to think in a split second to help out another person. That's Ben Adam L'Chavero. Ben Adam L'Chavero is not only once in a while to give a compliment, once in a while to be nice. It's not like going out pizza shop once a week or going out restaurant with your wife once a month. Ben Adam L'Chavero is life. You got to live it. It's life. It's every day. How can I help you? What can I do for you? Did I God forbid that I disrespect you? I want to ask you mechila. Always respecting others. That's Ben Adam L'Chavero. Always to go out of your It's a mindset. It's a vision. To always go out of your way and help out other people. I spoke to Reb Yerucham Oshman. So, I said over story about him, even though I said it a million times and told it anytime. But who cares, right, Rabbi? Say it again. Beautiful story. When I was around 16, 17 years old, it was bein hazmanim time, almost now, summertime, when yeshiva's off. Reb Oshman gave me the zechut to merit to learn with him once a week, twice a week. He wanted to give me chizuk. It was like chesed, you know? So, I took the offer, of course. I went to yeshiva, I learned with him. As we're learning, it was during lunchtime. As learning in yeshiva, a very old man walks in with the thing, the agalah thing, the walker. Sorry for my English. He walks in. Reb Yerucham Oshman, the Rosh Yeshiva, if you want to Google him because he is old, he has a long white beard. He gets up, he jumps up, and he runs towards this old man that was clean-shaven. I asked the Rosh Yeshiva, "Mi zeh? Who is this?" He tells me, "Ah, this. He was my rebbe when I was in school. He taught me Torah. He taught me Torah." His rebbe, the old man, points to me, and he asked Reb Yerucham, "Who's Who's this guy?" Like he points to me, "My little guy over here. Who's this guy?" So, Reb Yerucham Oshman tells them, "Ah, he's a friend of mine. We're hanging out bein hazmanim." You hear what he said? He's a friend of mine. We're hanging out bein hazmanim. This is a Rosh Yeshiva of Lakewood. You want to miss Rosh Yeshiva Lakewood? Habibi, 8,000 students. So, what does that mean? And then he calls the little me, 16-year-old, on on the spot. "Who is he?" He didn't say, "Oh, he's my student. I'm his rabbi." That's what he said. He said right away, "Oh, this guy, he's a friend of mine. We're hanging out bein hazmanim." It shows how humble Reb Yerucham Oshman is. That shows anavah. But how did he think of it so fast to answer that? How did he think to say that so fast? It's not like he had to catch his thoughts. It's not like he said, "I'm his rabbi. Oh, never mind, I'm his friend." He said naturally right away, "I'm his friend." How did he think of it so fast? Because he's always thinking like that for real. Every time he's walking or his mind is He's always thinking, "I am his friend. I'm here to help him out. I'm here to do chesed." When you always thinking Ben Adam L'Chavero, it becomes your nature automatically. That's what it means a person has to work on Ben Adam L'Chavero. It's a vision. It's a lifestyle. It's a mindset to always look for others and help them out. The other day, unfortunately, I met a a couple that um they were not having shalom bayit. Now, I'm not good at shalom bayit at all. You can call my wife and ask her. You know, that's not the case. But this couple was an obvious one. I mean, come on. The comments that I was able to see in the room, a lot of disrespect. A lot I don't even know how it's possible to get to such a point. A lot of disrespect. So, I told them, "Honestly, for how many years you guys speaking to each other like this? This, that, this, that." If there's no Ben Adam L'Chavero, if there's no posture of respect, you know that the Torah tells us even Paroh Paroh was evil. Paroh was a rasha. Paroh killed little Jewish babies just for their blood. He was evil. When Moshe Rabbeinu wanted to be mizalzel in Paroh, when he When he wanted to make fun and belittle Paroh, Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu, "You're not allowed to do that. Cuz at the end of the day, Paroh is the king. A king is a king. He's evil. I'll punish him, but you're not allowed to belittle Paroh. He's a human being. He's a king." That's a tremendous lesson. When the Mitzrim, when the Egyptians were drowning in the Yam Suf, when Klal Yisrael crossed Kriyat Yam Suf, the sea, the Egyptians that killed and were lashing the Jews all these years were finally dying in the sea. The malachim, the angels, the Midrash tells us, started singing songs. Woohoo! Yay! Egyptians are dead! Hashem told the malachim, "Hello, hello, hello, hello. Shh. My bri'ot, my creations are dying. My creations are dying out. They're being destroyed and being uh destroyed, and you're singing?" That's what the Midrash says. Here is another tremendous lesson. Even though they were evil, and finally we got our revenge, but to sing on their death? Says Hashem, "Where's your respect to a human being?" What a tremendous lesson. Respect to a human being. Another eyes Gemara in Megillah with Esther Hamalka. Esther Hamalka with King Achashverosh. She like Dovid Hamelech says, she said, "Save me from this kelev." You know, in the Muslim world, in the Arab world, calling someone a dog, a kelev, is like the worst. One time in the news, this uh Abbas guy called Bibi Netanyahu a kelev. That was like, "Whoa! He called him a kelev. He called him a dog." For the Muslims, a kelev is very bad. Esther Hamalka called Achashverosh a kelev. She told Hashem, "Hashem, save me from this dog." Then a sentence later, says Dovid Hamelech, she she switched her words in her prayer. "Save me from the aryeh. Save me from the lion." She called Achashverosh a lion. She went from a dog, which is nothing, to a lion? Why? "Esther Hamalka, why did you switch your prayers?" asked the Gemara in Megillah. Says the Gemara, "You know why? Cuz Hashem told Esther Hamalka, 'I'm going to take away your Ruach Hakodesh. You're calling Achashverosh a dog? He's not a dog. He's the king of 127 countries. He's a massive guy. He was talking about what was a big guy, but he was A MASSIVE GUY. HE could control a lot. You can't just call somebody who is a human being in a high figure a dog. Don't change reality. Call him a lion cuz he really is a lion. He really is dangerous. However, says Hashem, "I'm even greater than Achashverosh." Emunah is not denying reality. Emunah is facing reality. Again, emunah is not denying a situation to make believe as if it's not happening. There's fights going on chasal v'shalom where things are not going well. "No, everything is fine. Everything is fine." No. No. Everything is not fine, but Hashem is even bigger. So, watch how it's going to be fine. Emunah is not denying reality. Emunah is actually facing reality that no matter what you're going through, Hashem is even bigger. That's emunah. So, over here, Hashem told Esther Hamalka, "Why are you calling Achashverosh a kelev as if he's nothing? He's something. He's a lion. He's dangerous. Don't make believe he's not dangerous, but remember that I'm even stronger than Achashverosh. You trust in me, you're going to beat him. That's emunah." But what do we learn from those three cases? That even evil people You got to be careful with that. But even evil people, they're human beings. There's got to be a certain common denominator of respect. So, how in the world did a husband and wife end up like this? How is it possible? How What What What's going on? Where's the decent Ben Adam L'Chavero, the regular the regular common denominator? Ben Adam L'Chavero is a serious thing. You know, I once read a letter. Remind me to go back, Chacham Rabbi. Go back to the book. Okay, I'll tell you one last thing. I once read a letter from Reb Yisrael Weinberg, zichrono letzaddik livracha. Very big rabbi. We had the zechut to see him. He passed away in 2004, 2005. He was American originally, then he went to Eretz Yisrael, made aliyah. One of the biggest gedolim that we have, one of the biggest rabbis. His name is Reb Yisrael Weinberg, zichrono letzaddik livracha. So, he has a book of letters about chinuch, shalom bayit, Ben Adam L'Chavero. He wrote her a tremendous letter to a husband that was having issues with his wife at home. He had shalom bayit issues. He told him when he When he walks home from work, when he walks into the house after work, the house is a mess. Supper is not ready. Chaos. And he gets to be kas. He gets mad. So, Reb Weinberg told him a tremendous lesson, and you can use it in everything in life, not only shalom bayit. He told him, "If you were walk into your friend's house, not your house, you walk to your friend's house after work and you see his house is a mess. The kids are pulling the tablecloth, the daughter is uh pulling each other's hair, ketchup is on the floor, milk is spilling, the food is overflowing. Would you get very upset at your friend's house? No. Why not? His kids are doing the same exact thing your kids are doing at your house. What's the difference? Your friend's house and your house. The answer is, your friend's house you don't feel like you have control. It's my friend's house. It's not mine. I don't have control over it. It's my friend's. You get You don't get mad at all or maybe get mad a little bit, but you don't really get mad at all. No kaas. "Your house," says Abir Weinreb, "when you walk in, you think you're in charge. You think everything is yours. Everything has to go your way." So, when you think everything has to go your way, when it doesn't, you become the kaas. You get mad. He told them you have to learn how to let go. Let go. You know what emunah is? Emunah is to let go. We're not in control of our lives. Hashem is in control of everything. Emunah is to let go. He told them, "Let go. Don't think you own your kids. Don't think you own your wife. Don't think you own your house. Take it easy. Hashem is in charge in your house, too." That's a tremendous lesson. Person has to teach yourself to let go, whether it's in business, whether it's our work, whether it's in Yeshiva. Hashem is in charge. When you think you're in charge of everything, that's when the kaas and the balagan starts. I want to tell you a mashal of the book. Okay, last mashal then we're going to continue. Shimi Rakim, it's always happening, brother. I'll give you a refund if you want. Don't uh Tell you a mashal. Imagine the wealthy guy in the Who's the Elon Musk? Haham Elon Musk. Good guy, Elon Musk. Imagine he's in the middle of a meeting. He has billionaires waiting for him in the main office. What's it called? The What? The Oval Office, thank you. The main office. Hazaq has an Oval Office and all the hashuvim. So, he says a me- I said Imagine he's running to the meeting. He's a few minutes late. He has a bunch of paper files. Elon Musk. And he's running and he's running down the hall. By mistake, there was a secretary, Shimi misses a cup of coffee, miskina. It's in the morning. She didn't realize. She goes in the hallway as Elon Musk is running, crash, boom. Coffee goes all over the place. The files of on the floor, papers. Elon Musk is too busy. He has so much money to make down the hall. He has no time to fight who whose fault it is. My fault, your fault. Come on, just pick up the papers. Let's go. I forgive you, forgive me. Let's go already. I got TO GO MAKE MILLIONS. You think Elon Musk has time to sit there? Your fault, my fault. Give me a number. I'm calling the cops. Calling your parents. Take it to court. See you in bet din. Who has time for that? The guy has to make millions and billions of dollars. A person in this world, when you have the right vision why you're here in this world, when you eyes on the ball to accomplish Torah, mitzvot, and hasadim, more Torah, more mitzvot, when you know HOW MUCH BILLIONS OF MITZVOT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH, you have NO TIME TO FIGHT. WHO HAS TIME TO FIGHT, RIBONO SHEL OLAM? Go to bet din for a thousand dollars? You're going to fight a guy for three hundred? When you're busy and you have so many things to do in Torah and mitzvot, who has time to fight over a parking spot? Nobody has time for that. I'm not saying now not to go to bet din when the time is right. There is halachot, there's choshen mishpat. But overall, the small fights that happen in our lives, when you're busy with Torah and mitzvot, when you know how much you can accomplish, there's no time for these things. When a person is bored and he doesn't realize how much Torah and mitzvot he has, that's when he starts fighting over every little small thing. Person's got to have his vision right. You got to accomplish more Torah and more mitzvot. I'll tell you one more mashal then I'm going to go back to this thing. One thing for sure is, Rabbi, I'm losing a lot of weight here. That's the one thing. Tell you one more mashal. Imagine a lot of imagination here, guys. I don't want you to fall asleep as if you're dreaming, you know? Imagine um the wealthiest guy, again, Elon Musk. Talk about emunah. Imagine for some reason he hires you. Would you want to be hired by Elon Musk to work for Elon Musk? Imagine Elon Musk calls you up. Haham, what's your first name? My name is Yossi. Yossi, and what's your name? Yitzhak. Yitzhak. Imagine Elon Musk calls you. Yitzhak, you've been promoted. Come work in Tesla or Twitter. Come, come, come, come. Told him no. You You're going to tell him no? Or you already told him no? We're going to get your autograph. You told no to Elon Musk. So, imagine he calls you up. He tells you, "Come work for Tesla in my building." Not only in the same building where Elon Musk is, come to the same floor where he works. Shh, that's hashuv. Get promoted like that, oh ha? You go to the floor. It's your first day on the job. Everyone is excited. Your wife, your kids, your parents. Woohoo! You work for Elon Musk. You go to your first job, first day on the job. You go in. You see Elon Musk is running around with papers, signing signatures, screaming at this guy, "Do this, do that. Do this, do that." And you tell yourself, "What's he doing? He's so confusing." He says no to this guy, yes to this guy, yes to this guy, tomorrow for this guy, five minutes for this guy. He's signing this. He's sign- I'm so confused. Imagine you go to Elon Musk, your first day on your job. You go to Elon Musk. You tell him, "Elon, with all due respect, Mr. Elon, you're so confusing. I think you're making a mistake here. Something here doesn't make any sense." He's going to look you, Yitzhak, and tell you, "Who do you think you are? First day of your job, say thank you even got called by me. Say thank you even in the building. Say thank you even in my floor. It's your first day of your job with no experience and you're telling me that you're confused?" That's disrespectful. Lehavdil elef alafot. We come to this world. Hashem, the CEO of the world, haya, hoveh, veyiyeh, always was around, always is around, always will be around. We come here 2023. Our whole life is considered one day on the job, by the way. It's very short. And we start telling Hashem, "Hashem, why is this happening? How come this guy gets this, the other guy doesn't? How come this happened to me and to my friend didn't happen to me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Hashem is going to tell the person, "Hello, relax. Relax. You're coming in after the first day on the job and you're asking questions. Say thank you even born. Say thank you were born. Born Jewish. Born within the Jewish community. Born to learn Torah. You know what a merit that is? And you're asking questions. That's you Ask what? Do your job in this world. What is our job in this world? To serve Hashem and follow the Shulchan Aruch. No questions on emunah. Don't ask why, ask what. What is Hashem want me to do in this world? A person that really believes in God knows what he has to do. A person that doesn't really believe in Hashem, that's where the why question start. Why this? Why that? Why this? Why that? Don't worry. If you knew Hashem is next to you, you wouldn't be asking any why questions. You'll be too scared to ask the why questions. It's cuz you don't really believe Hashem is there. So, you start debating God. Does God exist? God not exist? God exist? God not exist? What's going on with you? You're not in reality. A person who's in reality that Hashem is really here doesn't have questions on emunah. How did I get there? What are we talking about? Hanukkah? How did we get to this? Back to the book. And now back to the book. Oh, back to the book. Okay, fine. Wait, how much time do I have? You're on my room. Okay, we'll do a few more minutes here. The Gemara Pesachim tells us like this Abot 10. Famous Gemara in kuf yud chet amud alef. Kashin is an atol she adam ki kriat Yam Suf. Kriat Yam Suf, the splitting of the sea, was not an easy task for human beings. Obviously, Hashem had to really step in and do one of the greatest miracles of all times. That is the splitting of the sea. Says the Gemara in Pesachim, for a person to get married, for a person to have parnassah, you need Hashem's help 100%. Meaning, of course, Hashem does everything, but you need a kriat Yam Suf type of miracle for a person to have parnassah. For a person to have the right means to have a good job, you need an open miracle. You need a nes of kriat Yam Suf. It's another term of saying it's not an easy thing to find the right job. Then the Gemara says in Sotah, to find a zivug, to find the right bashert, the right wife, kashin zivugan ki kriat Yam Suf. To find the right spouse, to find the right wife, oh ho, you need a big miracle. Ki kriat Yam Suf, like the splitting of the sea. Says the Ben Ish Hai, when the Gemara says that to have parnassah is hard like Yam Suf, and to find your wife or the wife to her husband is hard like Yam Suf, it's not a one-time thing. It's not until you find your job, it's like Yam Suf, but then after that it's easy it's easy as pie. No. It's every single day when you're working, you have to understand it's Hashem supplying you the money. It's Hashem supplying you the wealth. Just like Hashem did Yam Suf, the splitting of the sea, Hashem is the one giving you parnassah. Don't think it's nature. Don't think it's automatic that you had money that month. It's Hashem giving you the money. Sotah 2 says the Ben Ish Hai, when it comes to a zivug, when it comes to finding your spouse, it's not that it's hard like Yam Suf, it's like splitting the sea to find the right wife. Until you find the right wife, it's like so hard, it's like splitting the sea. It's even after you get married. Every day of your marriage and every week is like kriat Yam Suf. It's a miracle to stay along. It's a miracle. Says the Ben Ish Hai, ben adam lehavero, to respect the wife and the wife and the husband to respect your friends is not a small task. You have to be aware that just like Israel was in front of the sea when we left Mizraim and we were stuck, the Egyptians behind us and Yam Suf in front of us and we're like where what do we do? Where do we go? And then they started screaming at to Hashem and Hashem told them just go. Don't worry, I'm going to help you out. But they screamed at to Hashem they had emunah, then the sea was split. So too in marriage, so too in parnassah, nothing is going to be automatic. Don't think you're just going to get along. Don't think you're just going to have parnassah. Nothing should be taken for granted. It's something you have to pray for. It's something you have to know that you need Hashem for to help you out. To have shalom bayit, you need Hashem. Not just therapy. Not just classes. Tefillot, real tefillot, real shalom bayit needs tefillot. To be nice to other people doesn't just happen naturally. You have to person has to pray for it. You have to know that you need Hashem. You need emunah. You have to ask Hashem, "Please help me to be nice to my wife. Please help me to be nice to my husband. Please help me to be nice to my co-workers, to my neighbors, to my friends in yeshiva." It's something a person has to work on. It's a lifestyle. It's a miracle. It's not a natural thing. A person has to daven for it just like we daven for kri'at Yam Suf, just like we daven for the splitting of the sea and we knew we had no choice but to pray. So too when it comes to parnassah. So too when it comes to getting along with adam echav lo. It's not automatic. There's no automatic button. It's not a robot. It's something that needs to be worked on. It's a vision. It's a vision. You got to pray for it every single day to make sure that a person has shalom bayit. You know, I once read a letter, beautiful letter, from Chacham Ovadia about a person that was doing very well in business. He was very good at doing like start-up businesses. You know how to set up a business then sell it. Start up a company then sell it. And one of the questions that he asked Chacham Ovadia, he told him, "Do you think I should start this business or this business?" He wasn't sure between the two. Chacham Ovadia told him, "Why do you think Hashem gave you such good brains to know how to start a business? Why did Hashem give you such a good mind? You think he gave it to you just to start businesses? Hashem gave you a good mind. 30% of it use it for business. 70% I want you to use it to build your family." Listen to those words. It's a tremendous thing. He's asking the rabbi, "Where should I do my business? Should I work on this? Should I build this company? Should I build this company?" The rabbi's telling him, "You you're too busy using your talents of building and creating on the wrong things. Hashem gave you a mind of creation and to produce not for business. That's like 30% of your mind you should use it for parnassah. Hashem gave you that mind in order to create yourself to become a tzaddik. In order to be a good person at home, use your talents and your vision of building at home, not in your business. At home become the CEO. Become that builder that makes sure that employees are happy, that customers are happy, that the money's Use your mind of building at home cuz if you're not going to use it for your house, IT'S GOING TO FALL APART. That's again a tremendous lesson. Ben adam echav lo is not just a ha. It's like imagine starting a business. I just had somebody who started a business. He started a certain food store. He started it about a month ago. The guy is never there. It's his The guy is never there. He hired the worst workers. There's no sign on the wall. I called him up and said, "Hello. It's something with your You're running a business. You know, you want your business to run well, you got to be there every day. You have to make sure the workers are good. It's not a kacha. It's not the way you start a business. You have to put your mind into it." Says Chacham Ovadia, "How do you become a good person ben adam echav lo? How do you become that person that always thinks about the other person? The nice guy. The guy that builds other people, that's mechazek, that gives compliments, that's good to his wife, the wife good to her husband, to the children. How do you become that person? It's not automatic. You have to be involved in the business every single day. Put your mind of production and building and becoming a tzaddik and a good person. Put your mind of becoming a tzaddik in your home. Become the CEO. Your business, your main business in life is how you treat other people and how you treat your wife and the wife to the husband. That's what you should use your talents for, not on money. You know, I once read an article from the famous um rabbi was chozer beteshuva, Rav Uri Zohar, zichro tzaddik livracha, just passed away last year or 2 years ago. He was a famous actor in Israel. For the Israelis here, if you remember in the '60s and the '70s and the '80s, Rav Uri Zohar was a famous actor. He was like on top of Hollywood. There's no Hollywood in Israel, but he was like the number one guy in the movies. My parents remember him, my grandparents. They all remember Uri Zohar on TV. He was a famous guy. He had all the money he needs. Everything was good. Everybody knows that he was chozer beteshuva. He decided on becoming Orthodox Jew. He became totally Orthodox. He went and learned for 20 years straight with Rav Shach, different rabbis. He became a very big tzaddik his name was Rav Uri Zohar. Passed away last year. In one of the interviews I had with him a non-religious Jew yet asked the Rav Uri Zohar, "You know, miss in the movie world, you get to act. You get this production. There's cameras, there's scenes, there's action, lights, action, what do you say? Lights, action, all these things." He told him, "You don't You don't miss that life? You went from being a movie star to like this all day Gemara? It's not boring. You don't You don't miss that life?" And he told him a such a beautiful lesson. It's such a lesson. Such a beautiful answer. It's a beautiful lesson. He told him, "The greatest production that I have, the greatest talent of my acting that I'm using it for is how I become a righteous person." Which means just like when I was a movie star, you have to know how to act, how to do this move, what to say, how to say. It takes a lot of time and effort and talent. I use all of that time and effort and talent, he told him, "I use it for me becoming a tzaddik, becoming a good person. I'm a production of my life. My life is one big big movie. And that's the movie that's going to count for olam haba. It's not that I left that world. This world is the real production of really keeping Shabbat, really being nice to others, really being good in kashrut. For example, imagine you were about to say lashon hara about a person. You're not sure is it lashon hara is it not lashon hara. So the rule is when something if you're not sure it's lashon hara, what's the rule? Don't say it. Person wants to be machmir, the best way is to be machmir to be sure it's not lashon hara. Don't say it. So a person who knows how to act well, a person that knows in this world he was here to to to have a production of his life, even though he's about to say lashon hara, be smart and use your mind to say, "No, I'm not speaking lashon hara. I'm going to be smarter. I'm not going to fall for the yetzer hara just for that split enjoyment. I'm going to say no." Or imagine a person, and that takes talent to think like that. You got to put your time into your life to make those decisions. Doesn't come easy. Or imagine a person is traveling on vacation and you know the food is not 100% kosher. You're not sure. Some say it's good kashrut, some say it's not good kashrut. You're in Europesville. But you're starving. You know, when you're really hungry, the yetzer hara comes in and tells you, "Don't worry me. Don't worry. It's good kashrut." If a person puts his mind into it and he knows that he's got a in his business of his righteousness in this world and he uses his decision-making business mind for Torah and mitzvot, you got to be strong and tell yourself, "No, I'm not eating from that food." You just made another beautiful scene in the movie called your life and you're going to see it in olam haba. Or let's say a person walks home and he had a hard day. And he can You can say bad comments to the children to and you control yourself. You know, Rav Michel Miller said, ze ze ze zichro tzaddik livracha, he said before he used to walk into his house, he put his hand in the mezuzah and he would daven to Hashem, "Hashem, please help me I should respect my wife and my children." It's an avodah. It's work. Ben adam echav lo is work. He put his hand in the mezuzah and daven to Hashem, "Make sure I treat other people nicely." That was his tefillot. You know, the silver store with the Chafetz Chaim, the holy Chafetz Chaim. I'm going to end up with this. The holy Chafetz Chaim. Yom Kippur night. Can you imagine the Chafetz Chaim, the kedusha, the holiness, the Chafetz Chaim, the Mishna Berurah, the Shmirat Halashon, the godol hador, kedusha, Torah, yirat shamayim. Yom Kippur night, which is the holiest Yom Kippur. They say over that one time in yeshiva after they finished the tefillot on leil Yom Kippur, he was the last one in the shul after saying tehillim cuz some people finish tehillim Yom Kippur, the whole Tehillim sefer Tehillim. He walks out and he notices a bochur, one yeshiva student, with his head on his arm like this on the table. The Chafetz Chaim is thinking, "Why? What's going on? Maybe he fell asleep. Let me wake him up to go to bed." Chafetz Chaim goes to him and tells him, "What's going on?" Oh, I forgot one big detail. The Chafetz Chaim did ta'anit dibbur on Yom Kippur. Tzaddikim did ta'anit dibbur. They don't talk on Yom Kippur. Even after they finished praying, they don't say, "Hey, what's up? How's your fast?" No, they don't They don't talk on Yom Kippur. But if you hear the Chafetz Chaim went out of his way and he asked this person, "How can I help you? What's going on?" Ends up being that the boy needed chizuk. He wasn't tired. The boy was crying cuz he was away from family and he couldn't see his mother. It's a whole story. What did the Chafetz Chaim do? He didn't say, "Hey, I'm I'm Chafetz Chaim. I'm holy. I got to go." That's what he did. He sat with him, abotai, the story goes, the whole Yom Kippur night talking to him until netz, until dawn, till aliyot hashachar. When people came back from their sleep to come daven Yom Kippur morning, the Chafetz Chaim sat there Yom Kippur night. You know what that means? That's an unbelievable story. Talk about the Chafetz Chaim. You know how busy he was? You know how much Torah he learnt? busy he was? You know how much Torah he learned? His relationship with Hashem was you can't even imagine how holy he was. He put everything aside on Yom Kippur for what? To help out another bochur, to help out another Jew that needed chizuk. And he sat with him the whole Yom Kippur night to talk to him to make sure he's happy. That's an unbelievable story. And I'm talking to myself. A person has to put an emphasis on treating other people nicely. Not agav. An emphasis, it has to be your vision, it has to be a priority. How did I respect other people today? How many compliments did I give my children or my coworkers? Did I say a good word? Did I compliment? How much? Did I go out of my way? Just like you make sure you put on tefillin, just like you make sure you say kiddush, just like you wash your four bread, ben adam l'chavero has to become more physical, has to become more tangible. How many compliments did you say today? How many good things did you help other people ben adam l'chavero? Did you respect them? Did you go out of your way? Has to become more real, more real. Cuz says the Gemara Maseches Sanhedrin, a person who did not have ben adam l'chavero, you can't even leave Gehennom. What does that show you? How important is to Hashem, to God, that us the human beings really treat other people nicely. With real respect, real respect. Kavod, kavod. Thank you so much for listening. Even though I have more to say, thank you so much for listening. Thank you, thank you.