A Giving Hand Event - Rabbi Joey Haber

thank you Rabbi David thank you to Nar family you know there are a lot of people in the community that open up their pockets and open up their wallets but there are some of them that are make it hard or are not so comfortable opening up their home I think the heroes even open up their home and thank you very much for doing so today is also in memory of this little boy who this community loss towards the beginning of the summer y Kim fax and I had the honor and opportunity to speak at both the seven and 30 dayat and mentioned how incredible this family is and how much I hope they're able to do in the memory of this little beautiful wonderful child and today is one such example in the memory of this adorable boy hopefully today many children will be born because of his memory the summer is coming to a close and as it ends I think the only thing you can feel is Wow first of all wow I don't know why we're going back but wow our community is unbelievable so many of us have been at so many events this summer because this community is so incredible and what makes us so incredible is the fact that we have your back and we have every little or big need if someone doesn't have food we have your back if someone has a an addiction problem we have your back if someone has a problem dating and we want to help them get married we have their back if someone has a problem with funds and they maybe can't even afford their rent we have your back we just have your back and this organization is another incredible example of that idea I'd like to give to you if I can the story and the journey of a giving hint most of you are going to go home right after this event is over and when you walk into your house you may have one two or three or even four cars parked in front of your home you're going to walk inside the house there'll be a bunch of kids maybe even a bunch of of grandkids running around there might even be some mud on the floor as you walk inside because it's muddy outside maybe there'll be some cereal spilled in the kitchen maybe there'll be some tubes outside in the pool and maybe there'll be some wrappers of some snack that they had left on the grass and you will look around and realize that you are incredibly blessed because now imagine if all of that was not there and you went to the home and it was just your car and you walked inside and no one else was in the house and your floor was perfectly clean and totally white and your grass was mowed and there was no tube in the pool because you have no one to share it with it doesn't get lonier than that I'll always understand this pain in the teeniest form because when my wife and I got married we thought I didn't even know what marriage was I got married very young and I remember coming home four months into our marriage and my wife was crying I said honey why are you crying she said cuz I realized we're not going to have a baby yet I said what baby I'm it's hot enough to have you what do you mean baby he like I realize we're not having a B I said what are you talking and I said' one second after four months if she's crying what is a couple feeling after a year or two or five or 10 and that's where our heroes come in the pasuk says that par decree that every child boy will be thrown into the ocean be thrown into the river and the next says there was a man from the tribe of who married a girl from Levi and the commentary is ask a question one second you just heard the decree the child gets thrown into the river what are you doing the answer is what that couple was doing is the essence the embodiment of what Jews do you make a decree that we can't have children we get married and have children and of course that couple had the most incredible child the world has ever seen mosenu I'd like to tell you about our little couple here today Meer and Golder Golda aser they have no kids they had three miscarriages most people like that sit in their home silent and talk to each other barely share with their parents for short don't share with their siblings and have their friends guessing instead they said here's our chance we don't have children yet don't stay home don't be sad don't say who with me don't sit and cry find a way to help other people I don't know where you came from I don't know what made you this way you know my brother mentioned my parent my mother's house last night I went to my mother mother's house I said Maya you know I'm speaking at giving hand tomorrow I said this couple Maya and G they're unbelievable people my mother says Maya and go you can't even imagine what they are a couple has to have a baby it's hard enough to all a sudden it cost 18 $25,000 for the cycle and the process where you getting that from in the last two years they began two years ago they've given out $700,000 to 85 couples 15 of which already have children and another 17 or maybe it's whatever are expecting children but you know what else they're doing to every single couple in this community doesn't have a child yet the say one powerful message we have your back we're here you'll try and you'll try again there are organizations out in the Jewish world that help but we will make sure that you get to the finish line if you have a child we'll make sure you have a second if you don't have a child and they're helping you a little we will help with the rest we will get you there I think when you open this up you called it a giving hand I like to talk about one of the most famous giving hands in the history of our people and that was about that same baby that I mentioned a minute ago the baby was born and he was put into the river in a little basket and he was floating and the pasuk says the daughter of par was bathing that day and she stuck out our her hand she stuck out her hand and our rabbis say that her hand really couldn't reach the baby was way further than her hand was so commentaries as so then why' you even stretch out your hand if you told me get something from that house I'm not stretching out my hand it's ridiculous how could she ever imagine that Hashem would allow her hand to extend and get the baby the answer is that's the essence of who we are par makes a decree against our babies the next minute you get married and have babies then the babies in the river with no one there to help the first ever giving hand sticks out as far as she could and Hashem takes care of the rest Maya and Golder you have that same hand that same hand that you look around at our community and said you have challenges we have the same ones we're going to extend our hand and see how much we can help I doubt you knew if you could help one when you began and or even two or three but you've already helped 85 and after today you're going to help more and more and we're going to stand here in 10 years from now and we're going to look back at hundreds of children that were born because of you because of a young couple I don't know where you got the guts I don't know where you got the courage I don't know where you got this mindset from a young couple that figured let's stick out our hand and see how far it reaches let me give you three examples three real stories Story number one is to show you the need not having a child is so painful that there was one mom whose daughter was married for a number of years and had no kids the mom's a teacher the daughter didn't have the funds the mom didn't either have the funds but the M said I want to do everything for my daughter to have a child she went into her pension and into her life insurance and took money from those in order to try and have a baby and Maya and G called up and said no no no save that for when you need it we'll help your daughter have a baby story number two there was a couple who on a Friday afternoon the woman called up G and said we don't have the funds we can't fill out the papers they're going to stop the cycle it's Friday on Monday they're stopping the cycle we put in this energy and it's not going to happen because we can't do it gold said to her where are you right now she says I'm working I'm at work she says I'm coming over go comes in a car picks up this woman takes it to the place on the spot pays for the rest of what's needed for the cycle to happen helps the woman fill out her forms and comes home basically an hour before Shabbat spent the whole day with this woman making sure that she can make sure she goes through with the cycle and the woman is due tomorrow now before I tell you a third story I need to tell you a powerful little message and then I'm letting you you go then it's Harry and it's over there was once a couple who had a child this is years ago and the child had challenges a lot of physical challenges after a year and a half they went to someone they said could you give us advice the personent said I don't have any advice to you but go to this woman her name is Ritson usband she's an older woman she's a holocaust Survivor her son is a major Russ Shiva in America today go to her maybe she could share with you give you some strength they went to REITs and respond and here's what she said she said I know nothing about your situation says all I could tell you is about mine she says I survive the Holocaust she says before the Holocaust if you would have given me all the money in the world to go through the Holocaust I would have said absolutely no she says but after the Holocaust was over if you gave me all the money in the world for the lessons that I learned I would not not trade it the lessons the growth the strength the person I became through my ordeal you could give me millions of dollars I wouldn't take it because of who I've become because of what I went through she says I cannot tell you about your situation but I know that who you're becoming in the process is something incredible and here's my last story with that little introduction a number of months ago there was a couple that was going for another IVF cycle the doctor said that in order to go to the cycle I need you to visit every doctor on the team I need you to visit the doctor they I need you to visit the doctor that handles this piece the doctor that handles the cardiologist to break every single part of your body I want to make sure that everything's okay in order to be able to go through this cycle the woman says she's woman in our community she says like like this is just going to delay it I'm waiting long enough like I have to go to this doctor and that doctor and that doctor and that doctor but she did it that's what the doctor said she went to the cardiologist and the cardiologist says there's a problem with your heart she says you need open heart surgery and so this woman three months ago in May had open heart surgery and after the surgery was older the doctor said you know you had no children till now she says yes I know says you're lucky you didn't have any children she says why said because had you had a child it would have been either you or the child because of your heart issue it would have been impossible for you and the child to live it's a miracle that you have not had a child till now because that child would have killed you what makes this story so powerful is that the couple I'm talking about that just had this open heart surgery that just heard that from the doctor is Golder Maya aser do you believe these people do you on I don't know what makes our community have a couple like this that is so heroic that is going through so much on their own and they're open enough and confident enough and comfortable enough to let all of us share it and they take their pain and they say let me solve yours before I solve mine you're going from Doctor to doctor to doctor and on Friday afternoon you're picking up another woman and you're making sure someone else has money and someone else has a cycle and someone else has a cycle where did you come from how' you become this way how incredible are you no one before this 5 years happened no one would have ever said that you would want to go through this but by going through it you become incredible inspiration to every single one of us back here I can't believe what you're doing I've never seen anything like it a couple this young dealing with the challenge right now giving it over and making sure that so many other people have their problem solved our job this morning is to support them not to support them for them to support them to for you to make sure that every couple that's alone in their home that doesn't have their courage that's shy and that's embarrassed and doesn't know where to turn has someone to call that will be open that will give them money that will take them out for lunch that will smile that will cry that will be there for them in every way possible let me really end with this all summer people have asking my siblings and I how you doing you lost your father four months ago how you doing I'll tell you the honest answer this is the truth and my cry saying it it's not as painful as I thought it would be I'm doing much better than I expected and I'll tell you why because of one incident the last day I went to my father's house we knew we were taken to the hospital in all likelihood he was never going to come home I was crossing the street and my sons were crossing in front of me and I said one second my father has kids his kids have kids even if one day Hashem takes his life my father will never leave this world because his children are being him and his grandchildren are dying to be him so he still still alive do I miss him very much but I feel like every single day my siblings and I doing everything in our power to be him so that his legacy is here forever every single Community member deserves that deserves to know that when they leave this earth their legacy will be here forever and that only happens if they know that they can have a child it only happens if we have enough heroes in this backyard to help this heroic couple today extend their giving hand and make it go way further than they ever imagined thank you