Behind the Greatness: Ralph Tawil - Full Feature Presentation

[music] >> He was a trailblazer. He was a visionary. He was a strong lion of a person. He was larger than life. Nothing was too big for him to accomplish. Nothing was out of reach. Nothing was impossible. He had an ability to close [music] out anything that was negative. >> [music] >> Very charismatic real leader a good speaker dynamic. He was very influential. It was hard to be around him without getting absorbed from from something that he's doing. Everyone accepted him as the undisputed leader of Al Qaeda. How does [music] one develop compassion? How does a person come to deeply feel the struggles of others? For some, compassion [music] is taught. For others, it is learned over time. But for a rare few it is forged [music] through life itself. Ralph Towell was one of those few. Growing up as an orphan from a young age, he was introduced early to a world that many [music] are fortunate never to fully understand. A world of absence, of pain, >> [music] >> and of challenge. As a result, compassion for Ralph Towell was not an idea. It was not a lesson. It was a response, a natural unwavering response [music] to the pain he saw in others. And so, he chose to act, to care, [music] and to do more. He grew up in an orphanage. And he had no money. Said his mother passed away when he was maybe seven or 8. His father passed away when he was 10 or 11. And it was him and four siblings. And they went between a foster home and orphanage. And he told me it was terrible. He said there were many days that went by that he didn't put anything to eat in his body the whole day. And he never ever ever for a minute forgot that feeling of pain or loneliness that he felt. And therefore he carried that with him his entire rest of his life. And when he saw people that were potentially [music] suffering or hurting, he felt their pain. He literally felt [music] their pain. My mother passed away at the age of 42. And my father lost most of his money. And he just didn't have the wherewithal to take care of us. And he took my brother and I into a Brooklyn Hebrew Orphan Home. Most people run away from having to remember the pain and the hardships and the difficulties. They don't want to They don't want to live with that past. They want to bury it. And and my father used that past to build his future. He was determined [music] as a as a young man, as a kid, to make something of himself. And no matter how many times he got knocked down, he would get up and try again. He had a very sensitive soul. Especially [music] for the underdog. For the downtrodden. To the extent where I saw this many times. He's a successful man. And he's a powerful man. He's an influential man. And when he talks about the needy people, he starts to well up and he starts to get emotional and he could he could start crying about it. And he feared the pain always, he told me. He he felt the pain to be orphan. Lonely all the time. And that give him the feeling for orphans and widows. And those kind of school. He felt the pain exactly what he went through. Sometimes he would tell him something about someone that's happening or something that's difficult or challenge and he would grimace e e he would say e and you would see his face grimace with pain and it was real. He was able to relate in a very very you know empathetic way. He said when he was 14 years old they allowed him to go work. He went to pedal socks. He said in those days where would you sell the socks? In a bar. He goes to a particular bar. The guy says let me see what you have. He takes out the socks. He says, "What else?" He takes out more more more till he takes out his whole inventory. He starts taking the socks throwing it to the other guy in the bar who is also drinking and four or five people get involved. They're laughing. He says the end of the story was I ended up outside the bar. They took all my socks in a pool of blood crying on the floor. And he's sobbing on the floor and then he said he heard a little voice in the back of his head. And he says, "Ralph don't let anybody put you on the floor. Don't let anybody put you down. You got to pick yourself up. You got to make something with your life." And he promised himself then I will never kneel again to another man. And that resolve that he felt humiliated inspired him to really go out and make some money. Father had tremendous ability to change the situation around. That [snorts] was the biggest strength that he had in our partnership is that we got into trouble with the customer he was able to talk his way out of in a way >> [music] >> where they were happy get to do business with us. Ralph was a family man. He was very strong on the family unity. Um, I saw it all the years that I spent passing with them. Everybody's there. Nobody's missing. I always knew him as Mr. Ralph Tawil, the legend. Uh, the community leader, the philanthropist. Um, and then, uh, when I got married, I started to know him as Poppy. You know, [music] part of the family, see the inside, see how he was intimately with the family. And it was a whole 'nother level of Mr. Ralph Tawil that a lot of people didn't get to see. He was very, very adamant in keeping his family close to him. Whether he was traveling with them or whether it was in Brooklyn or Deal, he embraced, hugged, and kissed all of his, you know, children and grandchildren. Uh, which, you know, for such a strong man, powerful person, >> [music] >> you know, he was like a gentle giant when it came to his family. And of course, he would do anything for the family, including giving drawing advice. At the age of 80 and 90, he would take the grandchildren at least once a week to [music] Spring Lake, and they'll go on the rides. He loved picking them up. He loved taking them out to dinner. He loved talking to them. He was a child again with them. He loved the grandkids, loved. And they loved him. They would sit on his lap. He would smile the biggest smile you ever saw, kiss them. He was warm. He was loving. He was patient. He would play with them for a few minutes. Like you said, usually somebody who's so successful and so busy, sometimes they don't have that side of them, but that wasn't Ralph. He was very with the grandkids, very proud of them, very connecting with them. And he just loved them. He had such a love for his wife, Ray. You could see the way he treated her, the way he spoke to her. I made my first trip to the age of with my father. So, every Sunday morning, we would have a call in to New York to talk to my mother and my two sisters. And like clockwork, we're in the middle of a major meeting with all the makers, he would leave the room, go into the next room, and he would completely divorce himself from that meeting, and spend as much time as he felt comfortable spending on the phone talking to my two sisters and my mother, as nothing was going on in the next room. This is such a powerful man, both in business, in community, in the world, meeting the greatest people, the greatest leaders, and yet he was, you know, soft with his wife and the family. >> [music] >> Strength is often misunderstood. It is not just the ability to endure. It is the ability to rise, to be shaped by challenges, yet never defined by them. It is choosing a path that always moves forward, while never looking backwards. And that is where optimism is born. Because when you learn to overcome, again and again, something shifts within you. [music] The impossible begins to feel possible. Where some saw limits, Ralph Hauer always saw opportunities. He understood something powerful, that circumstances do not decide your future. Your mindset does. He had a character trait of constant optimism. He always looked that it's going to get better. He always was positive in everything. You never had a a thing that, well, it'll never work. Everything will work. We just have to try. And he had this ability, you know, there's something called narrative thinking, to be able to take a story that just happened, and highlight different parts of the story that you want to focus on. He got remarried at age 90. Who gets remarried at 90? The answer is, when you're Ralph Hauer, everything's positive, [music] and everything is a a mindset of it's good and we're going to accomplish. At his age, nothing stopped him. He kept saying we'll still accomplish. 95, I remember the last Passover trip that we went on, everybody came. And we were sitting at the Aqualina Hotel and I was sitting next to him by breakfast and he's telling me, "Joey, we're going to solve the tuition crisis." And he called this office. All the big leaders [music] that have the money to do something about it. And he's the one initiated that issue. And he addressed that issue. And he put with his own $5 million to to do something. And so he was a fighter in the sense that he was strong and he had a clear direction of what he felt was important to him in his life. Generosity is often measured in numbers. But true giving goes far beyond what can be counted. Ralph Tawil showed that true wealth is measured not by [music] what you keep, but by what you share. That giving is not an obligation. It is an opportunity. And that one [music] person's generosity can forge outward, touching countless lives. He didn't just support individuals, he uplifted an entire community. Through his actions, he created a culture where generosity became the standard, not the exception. A community beginning to become [music] known around the world for its philanthropy was elevated even further. Challenged to do more, to reach farther, to give deeper. This was the life mission >> [music] >> of one man. He was a fighter for those that were down and out. Usually people are running away from people that are down and out because they know they're going to ask them for money. He ran after those people to try to help them. He sought after them to see what was wrong and how to help these people in their lives. I went to my father one time and said, "I have a a that keeps on asking me for money and he doesn't know what he's doing. What should I do with him? So, he told me, "Saul, if he knew what he was doing, he wouldn't need money from you. So, give him money because without the money, he's never going to learn what he's doing. Don't expect him to know what he's doing. It's not going to happen." So, I helped him out again. When I started to open up the Kollel, I started to reach out to many of the people in the community. And Ralph Tawil was one of the major people and we named the building after him in the Kollel. His son, his son donated the building in honor of his father and it was a without a question, a big big help that we had from him and all the years he was from our biggest biggest supporters in the Kollel. And he gave a tremendous percentage of his money to charity. He was wealthy, but he gave more than 10% or 20%. He says, "You know, if every individual truthfully and he gives his own 10%, would be blessing our community to cover every budget, every school, every Kollel. Would be no poverty." 50 years was the biggest advocate of charity in our in our community. He just had a very generous spirit. He wanted to help. He wanted to do good and he wanted to give. He also had a lot of emunah in the fact that if you give, you're going to get. He [snorts] believed it in his soul. He used to always say, "I fight with Hashem. The more I give, the more he gives me. I give, he gives me. It's like a fight between us." I look back as charitable people our community, without a question, he's in the top, you know, echelon of the most charitable people in our community and you saw that he only rewarded with good with with good health. He lived long and he had a beautiful business and he had his children, and they're going in his old age, and his grandchildren going in his ways. So, he was the founder of Otzar HaTorah. He was the founder of Shaarei Torah Yeshiva. He was president of Magen David Yeshiva. He was over here, Heichal HaTorah Yeshiva. It's a very unusual thing. But he was concerned about the entirety of the community and making sure that everybody got the education that they needed for whatever style or whatever they were up to. There was three partners. Three founder of the Yeshiva. Boyle Rachman. And his son, alav hashalom. And Ralph Tawil, alav hashalom. Each one commit 600,000. Meaning million went eight to start Otzar HaTorah off. He understood the value of Torah. He supported everyone and helped all the real Torah institutions in our community, without a question. Every one of them leans back on Ralph Tawil as one of the biggest helpers they had in the early years. Everyone. Otzar HaTorah, the Kollel, Shaarei Torah, all of them leaned on Ralph. [music] His charity giving was legendary. But his charity preaching was something that he made it his business to do. Nobody can give a pep talk and excite people up. He was passionate. He was very well-spoken. He was captivating. I mean, you listen to Ralph Tawil, no matter what what he's talking about, uh he can catch your attention. And the main thing he used to speak from the pulpit or when he got uh you know, a couple of his friends around, he talked about charity. He talked about giving. And And Ralph Tawil was famous for his line. He get up in front of wealthier people in the community who came to the parliament and he would say, you know, we have a club it's called the rich man's club. We know the secret how to rejoin this rich club. Give tzedakah. He knows it's a secret that all of us in this club know it. He spoke about it. He believed to his core that he was blessed because he gave. That's what he was taught and he [music] made it his business in the community to talk about that constantly. To give, give, and give, and give more. And the more you give, the more Hashem's going to give you. At the end of the 90s the Syrian government under Assad they gave the permission to every Jew to come to America. So, certain family they came to America with nothing, zero. Literally zero. So, one day one of them walked to my office when I'm studying with Laura every day in the morning. He keep blessing him. So, after the class I went to this person and asked him what's going on? What's it all about? He say, you don't know what he did to us. One Sunday morning or after our walk in, he said he washed socks of all of us when he took $10,000 and he gave it to my father. I remember there was a time period in the community [music] when we used to have a drive in every shul almost every week. And people started to complain that prayers are taking too long. And certain shuls were making the policy not to have a drive every week. And he got up and he gave a major speech in Deal synagogue where he started to say and if you don't have drives in your shuls, you're doing a disservice to your community. You're The whole bit of that our community gives money is only cuz we have a drive every week. We're training the youth when they're young to want to be the person that can donate big money. And that's why we give money. Only because we train them. You cut it out now, you're cutting out your future because you're cutting out the that the Jewish people have. That was the speech he gave and it made a tremendous impact. And I know in deal so they continue to drive it every week. And he trained hundreds and thousands of our community to give saidaka. So, what's his legacy? A man of charity, a man of giving, a man of helping. To give money is not easy unless you're trained. We have to thank the Ralph Towels of our community developed this creed that we believe in giving charity. They had a [music] parlor meeting for Shas Torah. And they had a bunch of people sitting around the table and Rabbi Meir Yedid was one of the people sitting at the table, but he was a young man [music] and he's sitting at the table and he makes a whole pitch Shas Torah, we're building a community, whatever, we need everybody to help. At the end he says it's $1,800 to support a child. He's like, "I want to go around the room now and everybody tell us how many kids you're going to sponsor." They come up to Rabbi Yedid and Rabbi Yedid said, "I just started working a week ago. I made a few dollars. I don't have money money to donate $1,800. I didn't make 1,800. You know, and how long did it take me to make that much money?" So, he kind of just like, you know, like, you know, not me, pass me by, go to the next guy. Like, I'm I'm, you know, next. He's like, "Don't you know how to make money? Don't you know the secret?" He's like, "If you give charity, you'll make the money." He goes, "Pledge the 1,800 even if you don't have it now. Donate one student, you'll see, you'll make it back." And Rabbi Yedid said he was sitting there and he's just like, "Wow." And he ended up saying, "Okay, 1,800." And he said it's true, within the next couple of weeks he's [music] started to be successful, he made the money back. And he says, "Ralph Towel taught me how to give saidaka." Rabbi Yaakov Yedid about [music] 20 years ago, he came to the country and all of sudden he has trouble heart problem. So when he came to Ralph says he's not feeling well, he not functioning. So Ralph called Mount Sinai I believe at that time. They told Ralph if you want to admit Rabbi Hillel we're not accepting him before you paying immediately [music] on the spot $50,000. And Ralph said that issue, no problem. Take my credit card, pay right now $50,000. After 10 days when everything's [music] over, the rabbi was feeling well. He walked to my office. When I'm learning with Ralph, he told him in Hebrew Any higher than I am surely. I owe you my life. Now and all my learning, you are [music] partner with me. All my Torah. He said I owe you my life. And he believed that his essence to his core that the more he gave, the more Hashem was going to give him uh give him back. No question. I Shalom had a very big effect upon him because he worked for Magen David when he was a young man. And I Shalom was the head of that. He learned a lot from I Shalom alav ha shalom. He saw the way, you know, he gave and he saw the leadership qualities. He was the example, the model. Isaac Shalom alav ha shalom. He built Talmud Torah in Iran and Halab and Syria and Lebanon and uh Morocco, Algiers, all over the world. From him, Ralph taught the young men in the community watching I Shalom work with religion and how he influenced and brought Yeshiva into the mainstream of the community and little by little convinced the community to support the Magen David Yeshiva was a very big inspiration I think for Ralph Tawil himself. I think that inspired him tremendously. He came up with the idea of going into the box business when he was working for I Shalom, he told Mr. Shalom and Mr. Shalom told him that it's a very good idea to how you going to run your business. He says, "I That's what I'm here. I need a loan from you." He convinced him >> [music] >> and he told him at that meeting that he'll give him money on one condition, that you give 10% to charity. And my father promised that what he would do. And I for some reason, he had that feeling that he owed Hashem if he was going to bless him with money that it would be a blessing and therefore he should be participating with that blessing >> [music] >> by giving money to poor people and helping poor people out. Now, most people forget about paying back Hashem because they think it's them or they just disregard it or they don't want to look back on it. But my father was steadfast and that became his calling throughout his life. In 1933, he got up to speak about the need for fund >> [music] >> to help the poor people. And he called He was calling out names and then he saw me he said, "Mr. Rav Towel." I stood up. I said, "10 cents." He said, "Good. Thank you." And next year he got up. "Rav Towel, last year you gave us 10 cents. How much you want to give us this year?" "25 cents." The other people $1, $1.50, $0.75. That's what they used to give. But everybody gave and everybody stood up tall and called out his name. I saw his only son, who is runs a lot high school here, helped the Kollel all the years following the traditions [music] of his father. Later when we opened up the Kollel high school, he became the biggest supporter but he's the one that's holding up Kollel high school in the most beautiful way. He's contributed so much to this school, not merely in money. He said in early years he would sit [music] in the office with the principals and call all types of other schools how they do things. And he would challenge us constantly, are we giving the best education to our kids? Are we developing the kids in the best way possible? People will think it's all He only gives the money. No, no, no, no. He shaped the whole curriculum. He challenged us to make sure we were implementing the the biggest state-of-the-art methods of education in in a lot high school. And it was him that did it. So, I Anyone built a lot high school, he definitely goes down as one of the major builders of a lot high school over the last 30 years. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. >> [music] >> It is thinking of yourself less. Ralph Tawil embodied that idea. He understood that greatness >> [music] >> is not about being recognized, but about recognizing others. His humility was not something he spoke about. [music] It was something you felt in the quiet respect he showed to every person, regardless of who they were. And perhaps nowhere was this more evident than in how he treated [music] rabbis and how he spoke about them. He didn't present himself as someone equal to their stature, even when others may [music] have seen him that way. He honored them, uplifted them, and spoke with a genuine sense of respect [music] that reflected his true inner character. He loved rabbis. He loved the rabbis to an extreme. He just wanted to hang out with them. He wanted to help them. He wanted to talk to them. He wanted to learn with them. He gave up a many of his friendships by becoming very religious or more religious than them and caring for rabbis and supporting rabbis and wanting to raise some money for all the yeshivot in Israel and here in America. His friends were rabbis. And he didn't shy away from them. He liked to be in their presence. I know myself, Ralph would go away for Pesach every year with his family. And it was a private trip. And one year he came to me and said, "We need a rabbi." And he was so excited to bring me on these trips and I went with him for a decade. He had relationships with the rabbis. They loved him. He loved them and he promoted them. Of course, his his relationship with the Ovadia is legendary. >> [music] >> Rabbi Bakshi Doron is legendary. Every time when we went together, average two or three times a year to visit and Ovadia was number one, no question. The first day is by Ovadia Yosef. And we sit with the rabbi in his own room >> [snorts] >> with coffee and cookies and Ovadia Yosef loved Israel. When his wife passed away, Rachel, we actually did the shloshim in Eretz Israel and of course with the shloshim, we had breakfast by Ovadia. Private breakfast and Ralph was sitting right next to the rabbi. I went to Ovadia with Ralph and I saw Ovadia with my own eyes kiss his hand and tell him, "Ralph, give me a bracha." That's wild. And then of course he got as as certain rabbis came into the community, he became very big supporters of them. When Yosef came in, he became a very big supporter of him. What what shocked me, Yosef may he live and be well, he eulogized Ralph, probably the longest eulogy that he ever eulogized for anybody. That indicates to me that he understood that this was a very, very important man that we lost. They said Ralph Tawil a man of shalom giant man a special man. I'm so lucky and I really feel thanks to Hashem who that I had privilege or to have the chance to see such a man in America here. I called him my friend over 50 years. Certainly he was amongst those that uh sat on my father's house in Cleveland kind of over when they began the Shas party. Ralph Tawil was right there front and center. He felt the need to build the Sephardic Torah uh in Eretz Yisrael >> way. Ralph Tawil believed >> [music] >> in the support of community institutions, but he felt that the community includes Eretz [music] Yisrael. In Israel the I mean you see his name on almost every issue of a building all over Israel. You walk in Israel, you keep on seeing his name or the Tawil name and you realize this guy was really a very big boss of the community. Yeshivat Kerem Rabbi Neriah Yeshiva Rabbi Kaduri Yeshiva Binyan Av Yeshiva Rabbi Mordechai [music] Eliyahu He bought already from 30, 40 years ago 54 plots in Hadera in the prime area also so the Kohanim could go by. He had these things that he saw two or three steps ahead of other people. Just there was one story that he told me it was one of the greatest days of his [music] life that he donated money to an orphanage in the north of Israel. He sponsored like a very big donation and he flew up there with a helicopter to go visit the orphanage on one of his visits. And he said when he went there and he landed and came off the helicopter, hundreds and hundreds of the kids from the orphanage came out to greet him with [music] a band playing music. And he goes, "I stood there and I was crying and crying like a baby." He said, "That feeling of being able to help kids that I know what [music] they're going through and being there to help them and support them was the greatest feeling that I ever had in my life. Vision [music] is not just the ability to see what is in front of you. It is the courage to see what is not yet there and the responsibility [music] to bring it to life. Ralph Towel understood that life is not about the present. It is about what we leave behind, about the families we build, the community we support, and the foundations we create for generations to come. He believed that each one of us carries that responsibility [music] and ability, the ability to live with purpose, with foresight, with an unwavering belief that we are all builders. Vision is not reserved for a select few. It is a calling [music] for all of us to see further, to do more, and to build something that lasts. Ralph uh Towel teaches us that you live in the community, you have responsibilities towards [music] the community. You know, you don't live uh alone and you don't live in a vacuum. You have to >> [music] >> tend to the needs uh of others. Even though you're very successful, you cannot close uh you know, blind eye. And he showed that you have to be concerned and he showed it in many, many ways, whether it's like I said, financially for sure, but even emotionally. He was just a big rah rah rah guy, you know, always mazik, always [music] encouraging. It was very, very motivating. When there was some kind of a potential movement of opening a school that was a very watered down version in terms of Yeshivoth and schools, [music] and he roared like a lion. And what was amazing about that is it's not just that he got up and roared like a lion, but the whole thing was shut down. It just shows you the strength and the power that he had. He wasn't a rabble-rouser. He wasn't a controversial person that like to create noise. >> [music] >> He did things in a quiet way, in his own way, but a few times he did get up. And the And [music] the getting up stopped some movements that were very dangerous and detrimental to the welfare of the community. And most people remember those times. And they were influenced by it as well. >> [music] >> When come to to declare what to make point and to fight certain issue was fireman. Was like lion. He stood and he fight what he believes correct. These type of speeches put him in a position that he was looked upon by the whole own arm of our community, by the masses of our community as a leader, as a spiritual leader of our community. [music] When I gave the Shiur with him in the Yeshiva in those years in the basement, he was front row every week. And he's there and he's he's animated, you know, during the he's clapping and he's banging his leg and he's shaking his head and he has and everybody sees it. You see Ralph Tawil getting excited from the Shiur. It's like he's uh you know, watching a show. >> [music] >> He was a big supporter. When I was young I cannot tell you the amount of encouragement [music] as a young rabbi we have Ralph Tawil in your corner. You know, trying to get it, you know, get your [music] lane in the community. Here was an individual that came up in life should have been bitter, should have been hostile, should have had certain dysfunctionalities. And yet he didn't show that. That was not part of his character or his nature. How he developed it is beyond me. And that's really what made him very special. [music] Ralph wanted to build. He wanted to build Torah. He wanted to donate money. He got high on it. He was excited about it. He thrived in it. And he was unbelievable. And my father's word was all truth. He spoke the truth. He felt the truth. And he tried to convey that >> [music] >> to the community. We have to be caring for people to make sure that they're being cared for. You have [music] to have making sure that the Yeshivot are being supported properly so that we can continue [music] as a community to be successful and be blessed. And we have to make sure that we develop institutions [music] that develop prophets so that they could lead us in a spiritual way. That's what his life was about. One of the reason Mosha Rabenu was selected to be the leader. What made him get all doesn't say because big nabi doesn't say because big hakam. The Torah said "Vayar be sivlotham." When he saw the slavery in Egypt, he saw the suffering. He felt the pain of the Jewish people.