Bonei Olam Full Coverage

first of all we'd like to thank everybody for coming I was not planning to speak tonight at all but it's been a very big challenge of course we have no control over the weather but we're very fortunate enough to be here before we begin before we begin I'd like to thank our hosts Mo'Nique and David had it for opening up their home God bless both of them who really go above and beyond it wasn't easy putting this event together and through it all both of them really came through with an open heart and we hope God willing that this event will be the first of many successful and happy occasions for them and their family for many years to come amen just to give a little bit of an overview of the organization I've had the privilege myself with my wife really my wife has been involved for many many years in working with people that struggle with with infertility bonam was founded over 25 years ago by Rabbi schlomo bachner who's here tonight him and his wife were not fortunate to have children and he said he was going to take it upon himself to build the future of CLA Israel one baby at a time and what he really did in the last 25 years through medical support through counselor support through financial support has assisted in the birth of over I believe 12,000 children in the last 25 years I'd like to introduce the first Speaker it's a very short program I'd like to introduce Rabbi bachner who's going to give us a few words on the organization and all the amazing work that they've been doing rabbi kabod good evening and I also join in thanking the hosts hasem should give a lot of bra this home for opening up the door for such a great Mitzvah yes I I do recall in the early days of bonam 26 years ago actually when we took upon ourselves to help anybody body that knocks on our doors I was actually involved in your community way before when we had an organized safarik Division I have some children born to this community which by now married and have the families on their own thank God yes we made a difference in CL over's help we do a host of So Many services in this area which many people maybe are not aware of but we do take care basically from the beginning to the end whether it's with people which are compromised with issues on their own whether a child unfortunately is born ill and we do not know the diagnosis of this child so we can prevent anything more like that happening to that family fertility male infertility genetics cancer it's a huge umbrella of a lot a lot of and it makes me very proud once a year to join and to meet the people from The safarik Division and I do thank everybody for coming and joining and being part of it I do want to share with you one tiny little story one tiny little episode which will make everybody think twice before they decide how much to contribute to this organization I lost my father this year 6 months ago my father lived 101 years and he was lucid he was with his full mind till the last second of his life he went to Sho every day morning and at night until the last three weeks before he passed away and I had this many times to be on the road call to take care of my father whether taking him to Sho or to spend some time even with my very very busy schedule my father the last five six years in his life took a very interesting Keen interest in Bon and many times I used to wonder I used to say t you built a beautiful family what interest do you have in this organization he used to smile but one story stands out which this is what I want to speak tonight about one night I took him home from Sho it was a very bad weather cold and rain but he went I had a plastic around him that he should not get wet now finally he made it back home we had a chair next by the door whenever he came in he should be able to sit down and relax a few minutes before he moves on and I was hovering over him making sure that he's sitting comfortable and I said t I have some great news to share with you tonight and he looks at me and says like what and I told you know T I told you once that we're so busy opening up a new lab Bon has its own Laboratories all over because we do certain things that commercial fertility centers don't want to venture in there it brought us many babies to families that had no other chance I tried to explain this for a 98y old man the best I can and I told him T it's such a special day because the first baby was born after all this hard work from this laboratory he looks at me and he says and you are just standing there and says T what do you want me to do he says you should dance you should jump for joy how can you not dance when you had this Hood to bring about this for cl so I just stood there my father did not understand that I work 18 to 20 hours a day by then I was drawn to the Bone and he says my child sit down next to me I want to tell you something so I sat down next to him this was a ritual many times I used to come up to my father and just sat next to him held down to his hand even when there was no talking it made him feel calm and it made him feel good so he tells me my K but say it's my child I want to share with you something he says you know inim in the 1947 48 49 years which the hunger was so spread widespread in Israel people literally died of hunger in those days there lived a very great sadik his name was RAB M Goldman actually was his name they come from a lineage from very very very special people and there was at one point that two days this man had no food in his mouth and he was sitting and learning in a very famous is I hope maybe a lot of people know it's called This is the biggest and oldest Yesa in and midday middle of the day when everybody went home he remained himself singly in the Sho and all of a sudden he felt so weak his eyes started to darken he felt like he was passing out he was beyond starvation and he knew he had a wife and children at home and they were starving too he just couldn't bear the pain anymore when all of a sudden the door opens up and a man walks in and looks around there's nobody there he walks over to him sits down across his table and says Rabbi I need your help this man was 32 years old and he had a family a wife and children and all of a sudden he didn't feel good he went to the doctor even those days they knew enough about this issue that he was dealing with and they told him that he has left maybe six months to live so he had no place where to turn so he came up to this to this great man and sat down and started to cry I have a wife and children at home and this looks at him and says so what do you want to me I don't do medicine I'm not a doctor he says I need your blessing can you only imagine if I'm not around who's going to take care of my wife and of my children and he started to cry and this looked at him and said but still what do you want for me what can I do for you he took out a SW of cash put it on the table says Rabbi this is my Pon please please please do me a favor stopped for a second and started to think and to think and to think and he started telling himself quietly how in the world can I take Hana and finally he became quiet and he said you know what yes hem hasem will give you send you 30 years passed after that day this man married off his children already and one day he wakes up in the morning and he feels the same pain and the same aches he right away God knows what this is this reminds me of so many years ago when he went to the doctor medicine was quite more Advance he took walked into the doctor it was one blood work and one and one X-ray and the doctor told him maybe four weeks maybe he walked out so disappointed and so hurt but he knew in his heart he has an address where to go to he walked up to Mor's house as he opened up the door Mor was coming into the back room into the front room and when he saw him for a second he said stop stop and he came over to him and says sorry I cannot be of any more help to you he knew right away what was happening the man was a great man and he started to cry says why you helped me 30 years ago why can't you help me now he says you have to understand young man when you walked into me 30 years ago I was dying of hunger I had a family at home which were dying of H the children were crying for a piece of bread it was I jumped into this because I knew if not my family will not survive so I took upon myself something which is so against conventional wisdom and I promise you're going to have it a today I'm not hungry my wife is not hungry my children are not hungry anymore I am not the right sh for you go find a person that learns Tor and he's very poor and help him maybe maybe maybe he will be able to give you a so my father turns to me and he says my son my name is schi my father's name was shom he says SCH schi do you understand what means helping people when they're in such a pain that they're hurt and there's no hope and you had this then he ends up with a line which I will never forget 1939 he was kidnapped by the Nazis and he stayed three years in Awards and he tells me my child if you would see how many trainloads of children that I saw that unfortunately were taken to the gas chamers you would understand the value of every child we can add to CLA ISRO my dear friends you should never know it should never understand and never be introduced to a fraction of this pain that couples struggling with fertility they going through these people are really really really hurting and you know what's more hurtful than that when medicine is so good to us and we are we are restrained because our resources cannot address everybody's needs we can really help so many more people I have to think 10 times can I take on another patient can I not take on another patient it's quite embarrassing even to say this in public when so much is available and so many people don't understand the value of helping such a couple such a people cross their Bridge their Journey of infertility to finally be parents I can only ask and beseech and there on their behalf people are really struggling I'm not a man here for money I'm not a paid person I do this solely because I know and understand their pain please have in mind when you're supporting Bon you are supporting a couple that is struggling and that is hearing and you and only you can make the difference for that person our budget is so skimpy sorry to say that but it's so skimpy every dollar has to be figured 10 times before we can actually do what we want to do for a couple they should have the best chance to be able to become parents as soon as possible so I ask you please think think before think before you donate to this organization what you're really donating to you are building a family in CLA thank [Applause] you thank you robbi bachner for those inspiring words we're going to move the program along we're going to keep it short we're going to now play a video a very short video just to give you a glimpse into one of the stories of bonam [Music] so me and Linda we got married in uh 2019 everything was looking bright ever since I was little I always watched my children I always treated my my sister's kids like my own and I said you know what I can't wait to have my own children now came time to uh have a kid and soon after we realized it wasn't going to be as easy as we had planned and we did a little bit of digging and learned that we had to do ibf however I don't think I truly understood the magnitude of what it would take we're very positive people we trust in Hashem and you do a cycle it doesn't work you got to go back and do it all over again another cycle it doesn't work over and over and over like really puts you in a dark spot you start questioning are we going to get there how long is this going to take are we crazy with each cycle of ibf you're at the very least spending a base price of 10 $20,000 and then you got to add on all the ultrasounds with the medications and after all that there's no guarantee you're coming out with a baby that's when we knew we we needed some more help just to get to the Finish Line someone mention so we reached out to them and they said no problem we got you B is this fantastic organization that goes well above and beyond to help couples just like us they make us not feel shush down because they pay for every single thing when they get one bill they also helped us get one of the topest doctors Dr CL he was the one that helped us get have a healthy beautiful [Music] baby not for bonil um we probably wouldn't have had the perseverance to continue the way we did without them I promise we wouldn't be here today I am so happy to have ala Alvis the love of my life my part jooy was just so blessed to have him in our lives and he's really America from for helped us get this America I recommend anybody who is going through infertility they got to know that they're not alone there's an organization that really goes above and beyond is really there to hold their hand every step of the way they took a lot of the fear and a lot of the stress out is that the time I hope everyone that is going through this they have the same happiness as [Music] us the story you just heard is one of thousands of stories that takes place almost every day through bonam bonam was founded 25 years ago by RAB schlomo bachner and his wife they had one goal in mind to help bring more children into the world and in the last 25 years over 10,000 babies have been born in 2021 members of our community partnered up with Bon Alam and created a spartic division catering directly to our community this financial assistance can only made possible with your support when you help someone conceive a child the Gratitude is felt when their baby's born when the baby starts to walk when their baby has a bar or Mitzvah when their baby gets married we ask you today to please become our partner and help build the Next Generation in our [Music] community by giving money to Bon Alam seic division you are assisting in creating the next generation is Our Hope and prayer that through your will continue to bless our entire Community with health wealth happiness and prosperity for many years to come [Applause] forgive me like I said I wasn't planning to speak you probably saw too much of me already but Harry called me a couple hours ago he's stuck in the city and we're doing the BET our best that we can Contin to continue the program all of you really deserve a special excuse me all of you deserve a special kak and really extra credit for coming out tonight on such a challenging night thank you again our next speaker needs no introduction a rabbi who grew up in the community and then got married raised a family actually outside the community and came back here about six years ago or so and took the community by storm I could really stand here for another hour or so and talk about the greatness of Rabbi schomo fari and all that he has contributed in just a few short years being back here in the community a rabbi he's become a he's a rabbi and he's become a close friend of mine we speak periodically and I can just tell you just by talking to him and working with him on different projects the rabbi has a passion like no other everything he touches everything he gets involved with he puts his heart and soul completely into and it's really a tremendous Z to have him with us tonight to give us some inspirational words on this special organization and this special cause rabbi fari kabod [Applause] ladies and gentlemen tonight is a very important night and it's like those moments in your life that you don't know how important they are until some later point where you look back and realize that that night was the most important moment most important night of your life all you did was you went to a party and then you saw your wife all you did was you shook hands with someone in a coffee shop they became your lifelong business partner it started off like a regular day but that day would be the day that would change your life tonight is a night that will change lives a night that couples will be able to point backwards to in time and say it was on that night in the house in the welcoming home of David and Monique haded that the money was raised to be able to give us a chance to build a family tonight has the possibility of being those children's most important moment night of their lives and with that open in I want to share with you a story I did a PES program this year and a woman tells me have I got a story for you and she tells me the following story a story that I knew I was going to put in my pocket and I knew I was going to tell it to you tonight I've got permission from her to tell you her name her name is Keda bro her husband's name is David and in 2004 in his third year of law school he and his wife were barely making ends meet and they were living dayt day off of his school and his student loans well they tried and were unable to have children and realized that they would need the help of IVF they found out in October of 2004 that the price back then was $10,000 they went to the student loan office and said is there any way that we could take out $10,000 and the student loan officer said I'm really sorry all you have left for this term all I can give you is $5,000 if you want the other 5,000 for this project you'll have to wait until the new term until January she took the money put it on the side it was half of what she needed to be able to hopefully have her dream but then one night Keda gets a phone call and it's her brother and he's calling from Israel and he saysa you know this girl I know her for a while I love her I've decided I want to marry her and I want to propose but I don't have enough money for a ring and I told her that I want to propose but that I don't have a ring and her grandmother offered to give me the diamond for the ring what do you think I should do and KVA said to her brother she says you can't propose to a girl with a ring that you got from her she says you know I have $5,000 I have a connection I'll bring the money to the guy I'll ask him to copy my ring and you'll use that ring and that's how you'll get married but you have to promise me one thing promise me you'll get me my 5,000 back in January what a sister she tells her brother it's taken care of don't worry I got you the brother's so excited he's so happy he tells herva it's 1:00 in the morning but I'm so excited I got so much energy you pump me up I want to go right now to the Cel and I'm going to pray to God that you and David should be able to have a baby he did not know why KVA and David who was struggling for cash had five grand put aside he did not know nobody knew because they had not told anyone that they needed IVF or that they needed fertility treatments they didn't need the pressure they didn't want the questions at every event at every family people knew that they wanted to have a family but nobody knew more than that and now she definitely wasn't going to tell him because then he would never take the money well she gets the ring he comes back home and they fly to Miami for the engagement and she sees the ring that she paid for that she arranged on the sister on her sister-in-law's finger and she thinks to herself what have I done that's my baby what if my brother can't get the money back back to me what if what if what if she was terrified but she flew back home after that engagement party and not 24 hours after she gets home does she get a phone call and the other side of the phone is a rabbi and the Rabbi says hi I'm calling you from Bon is this bro she says it is what's bonam he says bonam is an organ ganization that helps people who need fertility with the funds that they need to be able to have a baby an anonymous donor called in a $10,000 donation for you to have a full cycle of IVF she can't believe what she's hearing but she says who is it I need to know he would not give her secret she threatened not to take the money still the rabbi protected the anonymous owner's identity until he says which Clinic are you using or were you going to use and they transfer $10,000 to Duke University clinic in 2004 at the end of December well my friends she didn't know who it was she figured it might be her brother's parents-in-law who maybe found out about the ring and felt bad but she went ahead with the tree treatment in late January her brother brought back the $5,000 but by that time she didn't need it because Midway through January David and kedra bro found out that they were pregnant thanks to Bon my friends their daughter Miriam was born on August 29th 2004 almost exactly 9 months from that phone call she'd put herself second she'd worried about someone else so God worried about her it was only later my friends that kedra found out that that Anonymous donor was not her brother-in-law her sister-in-law's parents but rather it was one of her own friends who'd found out that she was struggling and decided to donate the money for her a friend that felt the pain that she was going through because she herself had gone through five cycles of IVF and had five miscarriages and had never been blessed with a child so she took the money and paid fora to have her first round well that woman Not only was the cause of Miriam bro being brought into the world on August 29th but on that cycle she became pregnant and had a baby as well my friends our rabbis tell us that when we worry for others God worries for us when we take care of others God takes care of us but I ask you is there any uh more essential more fundamental thing that you could give to somebody that having a child is there anything that we wouldn't give of ours to save our child that means that everything that we have is that gift that we tonight have the chance to give to somebody else we have the chance to ensure that our children will Merit to have because we're worrying about someone else and when we do that God worries for us my friends for some people bonam is a source of funds for some people it's a source of support and advice but for many bonam is a source for miracles now it was once something that a few people here and there suffered with now as a rabbi I can tell you is far more common than it has ever been before I don't know why maybe Rabbi BNA knows but I'm seeing it over and over and over again couples that will come to the city with a whole group of friends and they come together but they don't progress together one has a baby immediately another couple nothing no news a couple months a couple more months how long a year you might think that they're waiting for the right time and then they have a baby but then there's that couple that sits in the synagogue sometimes lasting longer in the city because they didn't leave with two or three kids back to Brooklyn and when I can tell that it's not a choice that's when I walk up to them and I whisper in their ear a great Secret The Secret of bonam my friends this organization is an organization that has a huge heart in fact it has 12,000 Hearts those hearts of the children of babies that were brought into this world with the help the generosity the Persistence of bonam but my friends those 12,59 heart 549 hearts are 25,000 plus hearts of a mother and father that are brought back to life that don't know the loneliness or sadness that they once did that's a 100 ,000 grandparents who don't have to worry that the family name will die with their children that is the power of one man Rabbi schomo bachner and one woman reiton KH bachner two people who forever changed the landscape of our community of our people and our future there's a quote that I once read that says never believe that a few caring people can't change the world for indeed that's all who ever have and I was reminded of this quote when I walked in tonight in the pouring rain seeing not as many people as we'd hoped and because I'm a weirdo I wrote a little poem it goes like this it's raining it's pouring part of our guest list is snoring the had tented our head we were very wellfed let's send our donations soaring now my [Applause] friends tonight there are less of us so Bon Lam needs more from us I can't ask you enough as a rabbi to do Torah and mitv I'll ask you to keep kosher and Shabbat and the holidays and Sedaka and a lot of things but maybe you won't do all the mitzvot I'll suggest so could you help me with the first one in the Torah the torah's Mitzvah of Peru Vu the most important Mitzvah the Mitzvah of our future may God bless our efforts tonight with many children may God bless our efforts and provide us miracles in our own life and my may God reward our hosts for everything that they did incl including the last minute things that they snaap together to make sure that this event would go on rain or shine should send all the that you could have ever have hoped for or prayed for because you are helping someone who has been praying in that same vein thank you very much [Applause] thank you Rabbi far for those inspiring words just to put into perspective bonam has been assisting couples in our community for many many years the last 3 years or so we carved out a division that all the money raised through our events go directly to couples in our community so every dollar you give tonight will go directly to couples that are in our neighborhood and our community people we know through our shoes our schools and it's really something that's very close to home aside from the financial assistance Bon Alam also offers counselor support which means different types of of Direction you know it's not easy to go through the Journey and to have to deal with different types of doctors and different types of Specialists they also give medical support as well when people have to go into further testing and so forth it's not an easy procedure we have now the next speaker a very special person who will give us an inside look on the journey on of of infertility I'd like to call to the stage Michelle [Applause] haded and Jack so last minute I was asked to to speak this is not definitely not prepared so please bear with me um I want to thank Mo'Nique and David for hosting Bon Alam because this is an amazing um organization which I wish was around 35 years ago when I was going through my struggles um so I had my first child at 20 years old got pregnant easily had a beautiful baby and that was my first marriage I had a beautiful son named Jack and that was my first marriage and then um I got divorced and I was separated for three years and throughout those three years all I kept thinking about was I can't wait to have a brother or sister for my son jack I can't wait to have a brother or sister for my son jack and then I met my amazing husband Jack and and and we we got married and right away we started we we decided we were going to try and have children so after we tried for one month and two months three months four months six months and I didn't get pregnant something just I knew something was wrong something just felt wrong but I had nowhere I had nobody to ask I had no nobody to turn to infertility was not a topic that anybody talked about it was just um just you I don't know just try to get pregnant and if you do you do you don't you don't um we kept trying and then after a year um I I have a lot of hak for my cousin Barbara Shem I was sharing with her the fact that I was trying and I couldn't get pregnant and she also at the time unbeknown KN to me was also going through infertility and didn't know other doctors to speak to she connected me with some doctors and I went to the doctor's and I had one surgery came home tried to get pregnant couldn't get pregnant another surgery came home tried to get pregnant couldn't get pregnant and then after the third surgery um I heard about something called inv vitro it was so far to me but um she also knew directed me where to go and we went to uh inv vitro specialist and um we started that process wasn't such an easy process because you had to take um I had nobody to talk to nobody to explain to me what I was going to go through nobody that gave me at that time the percentage rate of getting pregnant through initro was very low so all I kept thinking was the next step was going to be adoption but that was not really what I wanted I wanted to have a child with Jack um thank God we went through in vitro and I finally did get pregnant I was pregnant for about two months and then unfortunately even after being pregnant through initro I had an ectopic pregnancy and both my tubes have to be removed I I wish I wish that there was somewhere or someone to talk to when I was going through this Bon Alam gives medical Direction it gives um financial assistance at that time it was $113,000 I can't even and there was and it wasn't covered by insurance I can't even imagine what the price is now um I just really really um so I I we continued to tr then we started in betro again after having the Ecto pregnancy and I got pregnant with my beautiful daughter Cynthia and um and then we continued that process and fortunately I had I have right now seven beautiful children but the emotional turbulence that we went through together because because you I mean anybody who struggles with infertility knows that it's a a a couple's thing that you go through together I wish that I had somebody that could could have guided me and hold held my hands and told me don't worry you're be going to be okay or even even another parent that was going through it at the same time to share their their Journey with me but there was nobody and that was 35 years ago bonam has helped so many people get pregnant now and go through the process of invitro and infertility so much more seamlessly than what I went through I feel like tonight was really from Hashem because I always wanted to share my story and I really really beg you to donate to this organization because it wasn't there for me and it's there now and it's there for so many people who are struggling and the pain and um again up and down of emotional turmoil that you go through is a lot I I I am very grateful for to Hashem for the success that I have now with my children and um this is really