Shaare Zion - Preparing for Yom Kippur

Welcome everybody. Welcome back I should say to this very special night. This night of inspiration that will prepare us for Yom Kippur in 24 hours from now. I know I say this every year, but it's worth it to repeat it if you guys don't mind. But this night is one of the most special nights of the year for us for us here in Shul for the entire community. What you see just a couple of days of preparation, a few email blasts, a few text blasts. Really there's months of preparing and a lot of excitement that goes into it. Both with the rabbis, with the committee and everybody involved in making this night a very meaningful and special night. And it's the high point of our year. We all know like the says we're proud to say that our community is growing, our shul is growing. And this shul alone is a ton of that happens. Different projects, different court. Of course a ton of how many have been said in this room? But really what stands out from this pulpit throughout the year and growing exponentially over the last I don't know dozens of years is the amount of Torah that comes out of this particular shul and this particular pulpit especially. And that's thanks to the great rabbis that we have. And this night tonight is the high point of the year as like I said earlier we're looking at Yom Kippur in one day from now in 24 hours from now. We hope that this night will uplift us and prepare us with the right mindset. Before we begin, I'd like to thank and acknowledge our sponsors. This night as well as the previous nights of its kind for many years of course has been dedicated by the Kishik family in memory of Sarah Lusette by the Kishik family. The Torah and the given tonight will go to elevate her and also by the Mishon family in memory of Eddie J. Mishon Ben Sarah whose also is around this time around Yom Kippur. I think just a few days ago. Again the words of Torah should go to elevate as well. Just one little point before we begin. Again, I'm not a speaker. I'm not prepared to speak. But I want to just get in the right mindset as well for this night. Just to repeat something Rabbi touched on the other day here and it was Shabbat so it wasn't recorded so maybe some people didn't hear it. Only a few hundred instead of a few thousand. But he's talking about how to get in the right mindset for Torah. He was saying that when we do we can't just do it for ourselves. We have to know that there's people under us that we're responsible for. Of course our children, our grandchildren, the future generations. He said the best way to really get into the right mindset is to really understand that the actions we do and the actions we take on will affect generations from now. I think we could proudly say that our grandparents, I don't know what they did right, but they did something right in preparing us to for what we have here in the community today like I said earlier. And the responsibility we have for the future generations. He gave a great Rabbi. He said when a person goes to a doctor and let's say he has high blood or high sugar or something like that. Doctor says you know you can't eat certain things it's not good for you. The person says okay, what's the big deal? You slip in a few candies, a few everybody does that. They cheat a little bit on their diet. But imagine a doctor told you no you can't have certain things your your grandchildren may be deformed God forbid. And when someone hears something like that it takes on a whole new level. And I think that's the mindset that we have to have in appreciation we have to have to our rabbis and to our grandparents and great grandparents. That we're here tonight and we have to get into the what they gave us we have to now turn over to the next generation. So really the right way for us to prepare for Yom Kippur the right way for us to get into the right mindset of is to really really know that what we're doing tonight by everybody making the decision and coming tonight and being in the crowd and and and listening to the the and willing to grow and advance themselves spiritually with the words from our great rabbis. You're really doing something that's not only affecting yourself but will affect the community in many many years and many generations to come up until soon the time of amen. Our first speaker tonight is a rabbi who's no stranger to this pulpit, no stranger to this shul. I think I figured out we're doing this I think 17 or 18 years. We couldn't figure out earlier Rabbi and I. I think it's maybe since 2008 we're running this beautiful event. And Rabbi Haber really doesn't need an introduction from me. Just his name is its own introduction and carries its own strength and its own the Rabbi does amazing things for the community. Every year he's advancing, he's growing, he's giving more and more of his time, more of his Torah, more of his energy and we really are very truly lucky to have Rabbi Joey Haber here in our community. Without anything further I'd like to introduce Rabbi Joey Haber to give us some Rabbi have what? Thank you very much for being here tonight. Thank you Joe for those wonderful words of introduction. And it is always an honor. Every year we get more excited to be able to stand here in this pulpit and this event at this time of year. Less than 24 hours before the holiest day of the year. And every year it's dedicated in memory of a young girl who was very close to our family and close to my daughters who we remember very vividly. She comes from one of the most wonderful families in our community, one of the most wonderful families of Zion. And Sarah Lusette Sarah Kishik Shalom. She was a girl with an energy with beautiful heart. Beautiful beautiful style, a beautiful way. She was a wonderful person, a wonderful daughter, a wonderful friend, a wonderful girl. And even though the years start to mount the memory does not fade. And the dignity and the beauty and the inside and out of this wonderful young girl who passed away way too quickly. She was crossing the street. Was it 10th grade? In 10th grade. Her is very much here and the amount of people that get inspired from year over year at this night either here or even watching at home. The amount of people that are inspired every single one of them is good. And if like Joe said the impact becomes something that impacts because the things we think about and decisions we make in the next 24 hours impact our year which impacts our life which impacts our families which ends up impacting the entire community. So it's always an honor for our words and the words of Rabbi to be in her memory. And this year it's also dedicated in memory of a wonderful man who built a wonderful family Mr. Eddie Mishon and our words elevate his and continue to give to his family and to his children and to his grandchildren and the path that they've chosen and the people that they've become. And is looking down and he's unbelievably impressed and proud of what his family is and what his family has become. It's time to begin. I guess I always have to add that it's an honor to be able to do this together with Rabbi Ed. What he does, what he means to the community. You know Joe you said on Shabbat there's probably a few hundred. You got to get your counter out. The amount of people that are here on a Shabbat morning, the amount of people here that every day that learn with him, the amount of people that he's influencing in the shul, in the schools, in the learning programs is is is so incredible. And should give him give him long life and strength to be able to be a pillar an incredibly important pillar of our community. And should give him the and the strength to keep setting the standards and setting the goals of the next generation. Okay, I think we did introductions for like 15 minutes so I think we're ready to start. I'd like to try if I can to describe life. And hopefully once we describe somewhat the challenge of life, I'm hopeful that we could also describe the solution to it. The way we're going to describe life is I'm going to share with you a Gemara. The Gemara tells a story in Maseches Gittin and as I share with you this story, there's a part of you that's going to say, like really, what's the point of this story right now? What does that do with this? But I hope you'll give me a minute to be able to understand and appreciate its relevance. The Gemara says that Titus was the man who destroyed the first the second Beis Hamikdash. And when he destroyed the Beis Hamikdash, Hashem decided the punishment. He was punished him. He was the general and he went to a faraway island. And on that island, the Gemara says that a yetush, I don't know exactly what a yetush is. It's a little bug. I don't know if it's a fly, a mosquito, a gnat. I don't even know what a gnat is. So, whatever. Let's say a mosquito. Went into his nose and went into his head and started to peck away at his head and peck away at his head and peck away at his head and peck away at his head and it started to drive him crazy. This little mosquito is pecking and pecking and pecking away until one day he was walking on the street and he passed a blacksmith and the blacksmith was banging with his hammer and somehow the banging the noise the rhythm of the hammer caused the mosquito to stop. And so it stopped pecking. He said, "Wow, okay, this is working. This is helping. It's finally I have something that's stopping the bug." So he called the blacksmith and he hired him. He said, "Your job is to come here, sit next to me every day and just bang away." And he hired one today and hired one tomorrow and hired one the next day day after day hired this man. 30 days. The Gemara says it worked for 30 days. But then it stopped working. And the blacksmith and the bang of the hammer no longer helped. It was no longer effective. And so the mosquito went back to bang pecking and pecking and pecking and pecking away until it says the Gemara it killed him. And it became when they opened up his head after an autopsy, they saw inside of his head this little mosquito had become a big fat robust bird with an iron beak and metal claws. That's the Gemara. What in the world is this Gemara talking about? Obviously the Gemara says that it's real, but what does it mean? What does it mean to us? What does it mean to me? In my humble opinion, this Gemara is literally describing life in 2025. That's what I think. In order to explain it, I'd like let me ask a question. Can I ask you a question? Is it okay if I ask you a question? Yes, you're comfortable answering? There's like people watching. It's good? Okay. Do you ever have a good day? Sure. Okay, good. Not everyone does. You have What? Every morning in shul learning, you have a good day. Okay, you basically ruined my whole speech. But we'll we'll we'll get it can Yes, so you've had you have a good day. Good. Does it ever happen that all of the sudden maybe you're going about your day and things are okay and all of a sudden like a little thought goes into your head. Maybe someone sends a text message. Maybe someone makes a comment, a little competition, a little something. A thought goes into your head and it starts driving you crazy. Does that ever happen all of a sudden? Yes, I guess the morning works only so long. So and all of a sudden it's driving you nuts. And you start to literally like the Gemara says, like a little bug goes into your head and it starts pecking and pecking and pecking away. And all of a sudden you have all these thoughts. You have heard someone else is doing something. His competition opened a store. What's he going to do? I'm going to No one's going to come to me anymore. I'm going to shut down my store. I'm going to have no customers. I'm going to have to I'm going to have to sell my house. I'm going to be homeless. You go crazy. Yes, this ever happens? I don't know why you just admitted that, but we'll go with it. And it happens to everyone. We're having a good day. All of a sudden a thought goes into our brain and we start to think and think. I've asked many audiences if they're afflicted with the disease of overthinking. 90% of men say yes. Women, 100%. Overthinking, overthinking, overthinking, overthinking. And then you know what happens? Because we're so obsessed and because we have so much going on in our head and there's so much chaos, we need noise. Like we desperately need noise. That's why when you go into the car even for 3 minutes, you turn something on right away, the radio, the music, a tape, a shiur, whatever. Maybe even a class, A RABBI, SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU JUST NEED NOISE. JUST LIKE THE GEMARA, he's has the mosquito pecking away in his head and then the noise creates some relief. And then you know what happens if they're a little while? The noise doesn't even work. Am I right? All of the sudden you go like you're going to people's houses. The TV is on. They're not even watching. You go into someone's car. The radio is on. They're not even listening. There's so much chaos in their brain. I'll tell you how I know. I've gone Sometimes I'll get someone will give me a ride in the car. Rabbi, I'll give you a ride. And I get into their car and right when I sit down in the car and like they're driving a little bit. I'll say to the guy like, "Are you sure you want this radio on with a non-Jewish girl singing?" This guy I'm a rabbi like. He's like, "Oh, Rabbi, I didn't even realize. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was I didn't realize it was on. I wasn't listening." Because we're not even the noise doesn't even work. And the next thing you know it starts to continue to peck and peck away until it becomes like a big robust bird. It feels like it has iron claws. There are people that are shriveled up cuz nothing went wrong. Just their thoughts are crazy. That they're shriveled up. They can't even They can't move. They don't even know what TO SAY JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR THOUGHTS. Thank you for your help. I'm going to need you later, but okay. So many people walk around and their head is going like this. And it's nonstop. I believe that this is one of the biggest challenge of our day. And you see here's why. Because nowadays, we don't have so much physical work. We're not doing a ton of physical labor. You don't You don't carry that much the groceries. You don't carry the bags. Once upon a time you went to the grocery stores, you carried eight bags. You don't do that anymore. It comes to your house. In fact, if they leave it on the doorstep and not in your kitchen, you're annoyed because we don't lift stuff. That's how it works. People seldom go into stores. Instead you click and boxes and bags shows up in your house with big smiles on it. You ever got those boxes with a smile? The women are laughing and the husbands are crying. By the way, they come to my house every day. I'm yet to find one that says my name on it. It's never for me. Never. But they show up. And because of that, we we don't do much physically. We don't have a lot of physical work. When you don't have a lot of physical work, you know what ends up happening? You end up having a lot of emotional work. Most people are not carrying that much in their hands, but they're carrying a ton in their brains. In fact, let me give you an actual statistic. This is from US state today in 2023. What percentage of teenage girls have anxiety and depression to the extent that they often cannot function? I hope this number is not true in our community, but this is a number for United States of America. What percentage of teenage girls have anxiety and depression to the extent that they often cannot function? Here's the answer. Three out of five. That means if you have 100 girls, 60 of them often can't function. 200 girls, 120 of them. That's unbelievable. Because we are tormented in our brain. Sometimes you look at your day and you're like, one second, everything's fine. What what what Everything's basically fine. But our brain is going nuts. And everybody is looking for relief. Now don't get me wrong. If the person has an actual clinical problem, then they should take care of it clinically. If you need a doctor, you need a medicine, you need a therapist, don't be scared of it. There's no reason to be embarrassed of it. Some people think there's a stigma. 30 years ago there might have been a stigma. Today there's not. The only stigma is if you have a problem and you don't address it. Then you have a stigma. But if you have a problem and you address it, you shouldn't be embarrassed. You shouldn't hesitate. You shouldn't be scared. Take care of it. But I'm not talking tonight about a clinical depression or clinical anxiety. I'm just talking about the kind of stuff, the bugs that are in almost everybody's heads. And every single one of us are begging life could be normal. Life could be fine. Life could even be great. But every one of us are begging for relief. So, I'm here to share with you tonight what that relief looks like. What that relief looks like. And if we could understand it properly then we can be ready for Yom Kippur. Rabbi, please don't stand by the door. Stand up. Everybody wants relief from the chaos and the bugs in their brain. And I'm here to share with you tonight what that relief is. And the answer is very simple. Torah Torah Torah That's the relief. That's the response. Live it, learn it, love it. Torah Torah Torah, that's how it works. Because here's what happens, we keep trying all kinds of different things, but the reality is that when you're learning Torah and you're learning it well, it it fits. When you're living your life according Torah, IT FITS. THIS IS HOW I HAVE A SOUL, AND THIS is what's made to soothe the soul. My emotions are dictated by my soul, AND SO MY SOUL ONLY GETS CALM, MY SOUL only gets happy when it feels like it's doing right. And when it's not doing right, when it's not living right, it's uncomfortable. Have you ever put on a pair of shoes that was a half a size too big or a half A SIZE TOO SMALL OR HAD A TEENY PEBBLE INSIDE? You can't wear it. Like you literally can't wear it. It drives you crazy cuz it doesn't fit. Living life according to Torah living life learning the Torah is a life that fits. And it changes everything. But there's a challenge. It's not so easy. Let me explain the challenge. The pasuk says "Re'eh anochi noten lifneichem hayom bracha u'klala." Hashem says I'm putting before you today blessing and curse. And your job is to choose. Here's the question. If you have a choice between blessing and curse who in the world is going to choose anything other than blessing? If I have a choice of blessing and curse, IT'S NOT LIKE A HARD CHOICE. It's not a hard decision. Obviously you're going to choose bracha. OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE GOING TO CHOOSE BLESSING. SO, what does it even mean? So, the midrash creates a visual for this pasuk. And the visual will help us understand it. The midrash says that there's a man walking on a road and then all of a sudden he gets a crossroads. And there's one road that goes has smooth and beautiful grass for a little while. And then it has miles and miles of thorns. Then there's another road. The other road is the opposite. The other road has thorns for a little while. And then it has miles and miles of green beautiful green smooth grass. Now you get to the crossroads, which path do you choose? Do you choose the first one that's smooth right away? It looks easy. But then there's miles of thorns. Or do you choose the other one that's difficult initially? And then it has miles of green grass. Let me try to explain what this means. Let me try to explain that first path. Can I ask you more questions? Let me ask you a simple question here. Do you think it's good for someone to take drugs? You're trying to figure out like what's wrong with me, right? Obviously no. Yes? Obviously no. Okay, I disagree. Now, let me explain what I say. Don't leave yet. I disagree. I think if someone would take drugs tonight, I think they'd have so much fun. They'd be relaxed, they'd be chill, they'd have no problems, they'd have the best time in the world, they'd have with their friends. It just It'd be a great night. And tomorrow night, too. And then even for the next few weeks, probably even a few months, maybe even a couple of years. It would be so much fun. And then you know what will happen? After the 2 years of fun it'll be 80 years of destruction. 80 years of thorns. You did okay on the first question. Can I ask you a second question? Do you think it's good to like drink? To drink? No. Okay, I I disagree. I think if we had some drinks, I think we'd have I get the boys together, we'd have a drink, we would laugh, we'd be jolly, we'd be happy, we'd be standing on tables, bottom. I think we'd have a great time. And I would tomorrow night and next week and the week after, I think I'D HAVE SO MUCH FUN. And then you know what would happen? Eventually I'd become an alcoholic and it would destroy my life for decades. Do you think it's good to gamble? Good. Are you hearing? Following? I I don't know if you I agree. There are people tonight that have money on games and they're having a great time. They have money on this game at a baseball game at a football game. They They have money on different things and they're loving it. And then they do it again and again and first it's green grass. First it's nice and smooth and then next thing you know they're a gambler and their life is upside down, their finances are upside down, their marriage is a mess and their life is a mess. And that's what the pasuk means. You have a choice. You could pick a path that's easy initially. You could pick a path that's smooth initially. Like everything I just mentioned and then it's endless thorns, endless chaos, endless destruction, endless pain. Or you could take the other path, the path of Torah. See, the path of Torah is the opposite. The path of Torah starts off with thorns. The path of Torah initially is difficult. You tell someone who never kept Shabbat to keep Shabbat and they say, "Okay, what's Shabbat?" And you tell them, "Well, let me tell you what Shabbat is. Here's how Shabbat works. You Shabbat comes, Friday afternoon comes, sometimes it's early, sometimes it's late, and whenever it comes, all of a sudden you have to turn off your phone and you can't use the light, you can't Can I heat something up in the microwave? No. Can you go run a little errand? No. Can you text someone back? No. Can you see what's happening in the French chat? No. No, no, no." He'll be like, "What are you crazy? It's the worst thing ever." Yet every one of us in this room knows keep Shabbat for a few thing for weeks in a row and it becomes the most beautiful thing there EVER WAS. FROM TUESDAY ALREADY YOU'RE LIKE, "Is it Shabbat yet? Is it Shabbat yet? Is it Shabbat yet?" We get so excited for Shabbat. And when we get excited for Shabbat, it's not for the family, it's not for the food. I know there's a lot of women here. Maybe it's for the food. But it's not. You know what we love most about Shabbat? We love the restrictions. The food is nice, the family's nice, but we love the restrictions. We love the fact that we can't touch our phone and we can't turn on the light and we can't put something in the microwave and we can't run an errand and we can't respond to an email and we can't open OUR LAPTOP. WE LOVE THAT. WE LOVE THE FACT THAT IT CREATES A FREEDOM. SO, the path of Torah is literally THE OPPOSITE. IT STARTS OFF THORNY. IT STARTS OFF DIFFICULT. But once you get on that path, it's miles of beautiful green grass. Learning Torah is the same thing. Give someone who hasn't learned gemara in a while. Tell them give them a gemara. They'll say, "Open up a gemara." They'll open up a gemara, they'll be like, "What is this? What are these words? It's not even regular Hebrew. Why are we learning this?" And they'll start reading the lines and it's about a ox that gored a cow. And they're like, "Why does this matter?" And the first few times maybe even the first few weeks it's not fun. But then once you go on that path, and once you get through the thorns, it becomes incredible. It's like magic. Everything changes. Your mindset changes, your marriage changes, your children change, your business change. Everything changes. So, ladies and gentlemen tonight you have a choice in front of you. You have two options, two paths. One path is a path that has all of these stuff on it that are fun initially. But then it's destruction. The other path is difficult initially. But then incredible. Says a lot of people in the room they're saying, "Okay, sure. I don't take drugs. I don't take alcohol. I don't drink alcohol. I don't gamble. So, I'm good." I just gave you those examples because they're clear. But it's not so simple at all. There are plenty of people that technically look like they're on the path of Torah. Maybe they eat that way. Maybe they dress that way. Maybe they pray that way. But deep down, they're on the other path. I'll give you an example of what I mean. No, I don't mean drugs. I don't mean alcohol. I don't mean seeing terrible things. I don't mean eating terrible things. I don't mean that. I'll give you an example. An obsession with materialism. You have so many people that technically look right. They do it right. But all of a sudden what happens is they have a few extra dollars in their bank account. They're like, "Well, you know what I could do with it? I could get that extra pocketbook. I could I could get those shoes. I could get that belt. I could upgrade the car. I could. So, why not? And then once they do it cuz they could, next thing you know they all of a sudden start to tell themselves, "One second. Like I deserve that big. I deserve it. Like I could afford it. Why would I not have it? And then you say to yourself, "One second. How could I not have those shoes?" And then before you know it it gets to where I What's I need people to realize where I'm holding. I need to get that car. I need to dress that way. I need to shop in those stores. I need to. And before you know it, you know, "One second. I belong in that group. I'm one of those people that have houses that look like that and cars that look like that. That's me." And before you know it, it's gripping you. You know, there's always talk in our community about how we should lower the price, the cost of a wedding. Do you agree that we spend too much on weddings? You agree also. Everyone agrees. It's crazy. The amount of money that we spend on a wedding doesn't seem to make any sense. It's for one night. It's for 4 hours. What's the point? Spending money on food that people barely care to eat, on flowers people barely even care to see. So, why do we do it? Most men will tell you, "Rabbi, what am I going to do? It's my wife." They'll tell you, "What am I going to do? It's my wife." I'm here to tell you the truth. In many cases it's not the wife. In many cases it's the man. The man says to himself, "I have two daughters. I have two chances for the world to know where I stand and who I am and what my income is and to know what status I have. I'm not dropping that opportunity. It's easy for me to spend that. How could I not?" And next thing you know, you're a person that looks like YOU DO EVERYTHING RIGHT, BUT YOU'RE DOWN A PATH that you're obsessed. And you're in the thorns AND YOU CAN'T STOP AND YOU KEEP GOING AND THERE'S MORE AND MORE and it never ends. I'll give you another example of that path. The iPhone. Technology. There are many people they dress right, they eat right, they look right. They grab a phone and they never put it down. They're texting. They're Whats Apping. They're Instagraming. They're watching a show. They're watching a Tik Tok. They're watching another show. They're watching the sequel. They're watching the next episode and the next episode and the next episode and the next episode. And technically when you see them on the street, they're wonderful people cuz they kind of are wonderful people. But they're on a path and they're so deep in. They go to sleep at hours at night that make no sense. They're seeing things that are a complete waste of life. But they're on that road and they can't seem to get off. The choice that we have to make tonight, the choice between the two paths, is not as simple as it seems. You know, on Yom Kippur the Kohain Gadol goes into the Beit Hamikdash and one of the most famous things he does is he has two se'irim in front of him. Two goats that are the same size, the same height, the same look. And one goes LaHashem. It means it goes on the Mizbei'ach and it creates a bond between God and His nation. The other one goes LaAzazel. It's full of sins and goes off the cliff. There are those that say, "What's the message embedded in those two goats?" The message is that you could have two people that look the same, SOUND THE SAME. THEY ACT THE SAME, WHAT looks like the same. BUT DEEP DOWN THEY'RE ON TWO very different paths. Just because you dress right, doesn't mean you are right. Just because you eat right, doesn't mean you always do right. Just because you come to shul, which is a All these things ARE BEAUTIFUL THINGS, DOESN'T mean you're on the right path. And there are people that convince how far down, HOW CAUGHT UP THEY ARE in the thorns. Yom Kippur is a time more than anything else, it's a time WHERE WE DECIDE. YOM Kippur is a time that before we ask God to decide for us, we need to decide for Him. HASHEM, WHO AM I? HASHEM, WHICH PATH AM I REALLY ON? You know, the other day I was walking in the street on King's Highway. My walk to the shul is on King's Highway. And I passed the store. I don't know. There's some store on King's Highway. I guess it's like an exercise store. I don't really know. It's not my thing. I think it's called orange or something. Something. I don't know. I think it's orange. Maybe it's yellow. Whatever. Um and they had a little sign outside the store. Like I said I guess something to like inspire people to come do exercise and sign up. They had a sign. It's like outside on the sidewalk on King's Highway. It's like a small chalkboard. And it's like a whatever. And on the sign here's what it said. One simple phrase. I saw the phrase. I was like, "Wow. That is so powerful." This is what the phrase said. If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. I was like, "I guess they're trying to get people to exercise." But this is like perfect for us say to make teshuvah. If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. There are some people feel I'm comfortable. I know which path I'm on. I'm a good person. And you basically are a good person. And I'm on a good path. But deep down they don't realize that they are confusing themselves. They don't realize that they're convincing themselves. They're really on a path that's pulling and pulling AND THEY DON'T HAVE THE FULL EXTENT OF THE beauty of what a Torah path is. They are not confident enough, strong enough, and courageous enough to really choose. I'm going to give you one example of the beauty of a Torah path. And then I'll end with one last story and conclude. A few weeks ago was the Hafetz Chaim's yahrtzeit. And so I was asked to make a speech that the Hafetz Chaim Heritage Foundation would air on behalf of the yahrtzeit of the Hafetz Chaim. So, it was going to be recorded before. I was in my house on a Sunday. Maybe it's a week and a half before Rosh Hashanah. And I was preparing and trying to come up with an angle to do the Hafetz Chaim Rosh Hashanah. I was trying to come up with an angle. And all of a sudden had an observation that I think is incredible. You know how they say that Hashem creates the refuah before the makah. Hashem creates the cure before he creates the problem. The story of Purim and other stories in our history. Hashem creates the cure before the problem. Watch this. You know, throughout Jewish history there are no books. There are no sefarim on the laws of lashon hara, on the laws of gossip. THERE ARE BOOKS ON EVERYTHING ELSE. There are sefarim. There are books on the laws of Shabbat, on the laws of tefillah, on the laws of kriat shema, on the laws of kashrut, on the laws of milichan, on the laws Laws of everything. You name it. There are sefarim. There are chapters and chapters written on each relevant topic. BUT LASHON HARA, ALMOST NOTHING. THE RAMBAM has no section on it. The Shulchan Aruch barely has a word on it. The Gemara has a few lines. And the commentaries, almost nothing. Until one man came along named the Hafetz Chaim and he wrote the first real book on the laws of lashon hara, the Hafetz Chaim. And he changed the game completely. And he took the few lines from his from the out Jewish history and turned it into clear guidelines and clear laws. Here's what to me is unbelievable. When did the Hafetz Chaim write his book? When did he write the sefer Hafetz Chaim? The answer is he wrote the book in the year 1873. Here's what's fascinating to me. When did Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone? 1876. Hashem says, "Three years before the telephone is invented, three years before the lashon hara machine is going to be invented, the Hafetz Chaim is going to HAPPEN TO WRITE A BOOK on all of the laws of lashon hara. Three years before the telephone, the phone on the wall, the corded phone, the cordless phone, the rotary phone, the flip phone, THE CAR PHONE, THE IPHONE, THE TEXT MESSAGING, the WhatsApp, the Instagram, three years before all of it would begin, Hashem says, 'Right before I create the problem, I'm going to create the solution.' That's the beauty. THAT'S THE GREATNESS. THAT'S THE GIFT that is the path of Torah. AND THAT'S THE CHOICE WE make tonight. Don't come into Yom Kippur without making a decision. To come into Yom Kippur saying, "I'm going to pray, I'm going to try, and I'm going to ask, and I'm going to beg." It's all nice, but it doesn't mean much until you decide which path are YOU ON? WHO ARE YOU? NOT JUST WHICH PATH DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ON? Which path are you really on? ARE YOU EMBRACING TORAH IN ITS FULLEST FORM, EXTERNALLY AND INTERNALLY? ARE YOU EMBRACING TORAH TO MAKE IT YOUR LIFE, TO make it your energy, to make IT YOUR FOCUS? BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS IS IT STARTS TO SOOTHE THE SOUL IN AN INCREDIBLE WAY. WHEN YOU'RE NOT JUST DOING IT, BUT WHEN YOU'RE DOING it for real, when it's you, ALL OF THE SUDDEN THE BUGS IN YOUR HEAD, THE mosquitoes that are pecking away, THEY FLY AWAY. BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRYING your best, you know you're doing good, you know you're learning Torah, you know you're living by it. That's how it works with Torah. You live it, you learn it, you love it. Let me give you one last little story and then I'll really conclude and turn it over to the rabbi. This summer, in Deal, a man came over to me and said, "Rabbi, I have a story to share." I don't know this guy really well. He's part of the community. I know he learns morning, night. He learns well. His kids are in beautiful yeshivot. But I don't know much else. He says, "Rabbi, let me tell you a story." I said, "What's your story?" He says, "When I was in ninth grade." He says, "When he was in ninth grade, he fell out of high school. He had no high school, he had no yeshiva, he had no rabbis, had no shul, he had no nothing. He said he was in ninth grade and it was Shavuot night. So he said it's Shavuot night, 'You know what? It's fun.' He said, "Let me go to shul." So he decided to go to shul, but he had no affiliation with any shul. So he went to some small shul down on Ocean Parkway. And he went to the shul, he must have gone the wrong time or early in the night, and the door was locked. So he says he's standing there in front of a locked door, he doesn't know what to do. He says it happens to be standing right behind him, there was a kollel man. And the kollel man taps him on the shoulder and says, "You want to learn?" He says, "Yeah, I guess so." He said, "BUT THE DOOR'S LOCKED. WHAT are we going to do?" So the kollel man said, "Listen, the Mir yeshiva's right here. Why don't we go to the Mir yeshiva? We'll learn in the Mir yeshiva." He says He says, "Rabbi, that night I learned for three hours with that kollel man. And it was so beautiful. It was so special, just learning Torah in a yeshiva, Gemara open." He said, "And we learned for three hours." He says, "Rabbi, that night I made a decision I'm going to learn every single night. And I did for a while, then I fell off, then I fell back on, then I fell off again, then I got married." He said, "And I joined this real group, this rabbi, and we're learning every night and every morning we're learning really well, and my kids are in yeshivot." He says, "That one night, 25 years ago, that one night changed my whole life." I said, "Wow." I said, "Why are you telling me this story?" He said, "Because that kollel man was you." I said, "Who?" He says, "You." I said, "Me?" He says, "You." I said, "Me? Me?" He says, "Yeah, you. You." I said, "What?" He says, "Do you remember?" I started to think back. I said, "Yeah, actually I do remember. I remember I really was living in Jersey at the time, but I I came to my in-laws in Brooklyn, I came to Brooklyn for Shavuot. And I remember we were outside and there was some random kid and I I went to learn with the random kid in the Mir yeshiva." I said, "You were the random kid?" He says, "Yeah." He said, "In fact, when you became a rabbi, he says, 'I went around telling people, I'm the first one to learn with him.'" He says, "You cannot imagine what that night did to me. I actually remember what we learned. We learned the Gemara in Shabbat about Matan Torah. You have no idea the power of that gift. You have no idea the greatness of that choice. IT'S NOT JUST KIND of doing it, IT'S NOT JUST SUPERFICIALLY DOING IT, IT'S NOT JUST MAKING SOMEWHAT OF A CHOICE, IT'S making a real choice, IT'S MAKING A HARD DECISION, AND IT'S DECIDING I'M GOING TO TAKE ONE MORE STEP, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT ONE MORE STEP REAL, I'm going to make it a little more internal, A LITTLE MORE PART OF MY LIFE, A LITTLE MORE PART OF MY SOUL. BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US ARE WALKING AROUND WITH ALL THESE FLIES BUZZING AROUND in our heads. But he told you to start the class, "My day starts off incredible because I learn here every morning. It changes everything." So when you go into Yom Kippur, don't just come in with A MACHZOR AND KNOWING WHAT THE TIVYILORD mean and you're going to read vidui aimlessly and say selichot and join with the tunes and hopefully get through the fast. Because then you will lose your opportunity. You will lose the GREATNESS OF THE CHALLENGE THAT IS that day. BECAUSE IF IT DOESN'T CHALLENGE YOU, IT DOESN'T change you. AND IF IT DOESN'T change you, it doesn't help you. It doesn't elevate you. It doesn't strengthen you. Because every single one of us have two paths in front of us. Two paths that the world can see and two paths that the world cannot see. And every single one of us have the opportunity tonight to make a choice, to learn it, to live it, and to love it. Thank you. [Applause] Thank you, Rabbi, for those words, as usual. It's a great pleasure to be here with you on this special night that we've been doing for 20 years, maybe. I don't know exactly how many years. But it's a night that has changed the lives of our families and our community. Sometimes we look at nights and we say, "It's just another night. We were here last year and the year before." But it's not another night, it's not another community, it's not another year. So much is happening. There's so much that we have to be proud of. And so much of it comes from nights like these. Hashem should give you, Rabbi, continued success and hatslacha in all that you do for our community and for the Jewish people. Amen. I want to share with you a Mishnah in Pirkei Avot. Somewhat of a shocking Mishnah. Seems to be a little bit of an exaggeration of a Mishnah. I'll read it to you as is. It says, "Hanior balayla." A person who's up at night. And he's uh chilling out. Maybe he's supposed to be sleeping. He's up. "Vehamayalech baderech yechidi." And someone who's traveling on a road trip and he's by himself. And again, he's relaxing. He's traveling, he's going somewhere. He's not learning. So, he's up at night and he's not learning. He's traveling alone and he's not learning. So, says the Mishna, "Hareizeh michayav benafsho." Basically, the Mishna is saying this guy's soul condemned. Michayav benafsho's. Disaster of a person. I don't know what to say. I mean first of all, it's nice to know that you have to spend your time learning if you have time. So, if you're up at night use it. I get that. If you're traveling open a book, learn something. So, if someone doesn't do it, okay, so I would say he did not such a good thing. Sometimes in life we do not such good things. But, to say michayav benafsho you're condemning the guy's soul. You're saying this guy forget about it. He's a disaster. What did he do? This guy, by the way, when he's up during the day he learns. When he's traveling with his chavruta they learn. He just happens to be alone in these situations, so he's taking it easy. How can such a terrible crime excuse me, such a small action translate into such a terrible reaction? So, I'd like to explain this Mishna to you tonight. And I hope that it gives us a path for one of the most important areas of our lives. There's a Midrash that says that there were people in the desert when they were about to do Korban Pesach that these people were teme'im. They were not pure. Why were they not pure? Because they were carrying the bones of Yosef. As you know, the bones of Yosef had to be transported from Egypt all the way to the land of Israel. Yosef is buried in Shechem till today. They have Kever Yosef. So, they carried him for 40 years. So, came time for Korban Pesach and the people who were carrying his coffin they could not bring the Korban Pesach because they were not pure. You touch a dead body, you're not pure. So, they came to Moshe Rabbenu and they said, "Moshe why should we miss out?" And Hashem says to Moshe Rabbenu, "Tell them they're going to have Pesach Sheni." 30 days later, they're going to have another Pesach. The Midrash calls it Pesach Katan, a small one. Says the Midrash, "Hashem told Yosef HaTzaddik so lucky you are. You're so fortunate. Because of you, Yosef the Jewish people get to celebrate Pesach Sheni." You're so lucky. WHAT A ZECHUT YOU HAVE. That in THE DESERT THEY MADE PESACH SHENI BECAUSE OF YOU. OBVIOUSLY, this Midrash doesn't make sense. Because what's better, Pesach Rishon or Pesach Sheni? I think Pesach Rishon. During Pesach you bring Korban Pesach, you do the Haggadah, there's no chametz. Pesach Sheni is like a makeup. It's not even during Pesach. What kind of merit is that? The merit is Pesach Sheni? The merit IS PESACH RISHON. IF NOT FOR YOSEF'S BONES, THEY WOULD BE DOING THE BEST PESACH. SO, WHY DOES GOD TELL HIM HE'S SO FORTUNATE? BECAUSE OF YOU, there's Pesach Sheni. I'd like to share with you a very important thought that's relevant to all of us. You see, many of us some start off that way and some end this way, but many of us are doing a lot of good things in our lives. The people in this room for sure we're doing many good things every day. We're praying with a minyan. We're learning Torah. We're giving tzedakah. We're keeping Shabbat. We're here preparing for Kippur. But, so much of what we do has to do because other people are also doing it. I wonder sometimes how many people would keep Shabbat if nobody else was keeping Shabbat. How many of us are keeping Shabbat because that's what people do? How many people are praying every day because that's what people do? How many people would be here tonight if only one person showed up? You. Sometimes we begin that way. We just like to do what people are doing. Good things. And sometimes we start off on our own, but somehow as we get excited and connected, it just becomes what we do. Not so much what I do. Especially in this beautiful community like many other communities the power of the community is so great. Look at a night like this. So many thousands of people are here listening. It's so beautiful when you walk the streets on Shabbat and you see Shabbat in our streets. You come to tfillah and there's people all over the place. This minyan, that minyan. People learning, can't find a place to sit. The power of the community that changes people's lives. People want to be a part of it. But, there's a very big danger to community. The danger of community is that you forget that it's really about you. Communities aren't great. There's no person called community. Your life is about you. Yes, it's beautiful to be inspired by others. It's beautiful to live in a great community. But, it's not about the community. It's about what you're doing. So, is what you're doing because of you or are you doing because that's what we do? Pesach Rishon is the Pesach that everybody's doing. That's gorgeous. It's the best Pesach. It's on time. But, there's something very special about Pesach Sheni. In that nobody else was making Pesach that time. Nobody's going to the Beit Hamikdash. There's nobody in Yerushalayim. They packed out. If you went to Yerushalayim a month after Pesach, you'd see nobody there. The people are back home already. There's no excitement. There's no music in the streets. People are eating chametz. But yet, individuals went and made Pesach Sheni. Hashem tells Yosef HaTzaddik, "You're such a YOU'RE SO FORTUNATE. THAT BECAUSE OF YOU WE HAVE PEOPLE MAKING PESACH SHENI. BECAUSE OF YOU, WE HAVE individuals that are keeping mitzvot. We have individuals that want to pray. We have individuals that are keeping Shabbat. We have individuals praying. We have individuals who are doing their avodat Hashem. And why Yosef out of all people got this merit? Surely, it wasn't only because of his bones. Because perhaps there's nobody in the history of the Jewish people that was more of an individual than Yosef HaTzaddik. A man who had no community. He lost his family. He lost his parents. HE HAD NOBODY in Egypt. He was by himself. No one to learn from, no one to be with, no minyan, no havrita, no rabbi, no night of inspiration. Nothing. An individual in Egypt, YOU'RE BY YOURSELF. WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU if you live by yourself? Yosef HaTzaddik in Egypt didn't even HAVE HIS OWN FREEDOM. EVEN HIMSELF HE DIDN'T HAVE. And yet we see Yosef the individual. The Yosef haya b'Mitzrayim, THE PASUK SAYS, "WHO YOSEF? THE SAME YOSEF THAT LIVED in the community, the same Yosef that was in his family, the same Yosef that was with his father." THROUGH AND THROUGH the same Yosef. Yosef the individual is what made HIM GREAT. BEING PART OF A community makes you fortunate, but being an individual in the community makes you special and makes you great. We always have to reassess. One second, Shabbat's coming. It's my Shabbat. It's Shabbat I'm keeping. Not that we are keeping. I'm going to learn. I'm going to give charity. Even though there's a hundred other people here, but I came to give. It's my mitzvah. I do because of me. That was Yosef HaTzaddik. I'm not sure if you know this, but the Midrash says that in the desert, when the Jewish people were traveling, there were two boxes that traveled with them. One was the box of the Luchot, the Aron HaKodesh, where the Torah, the holy Torah was. The tablets. And one was the box of Yosef's bones. The passersby, when they saw two boxes traveling with the Jewish people, they would ask, "Why are there two boxes with you? What are these?" So they would say, "Well, this one is the Aron HaKodesh. This is the holiest box on the planet. And this one is the box of a dead man." They said, "What?" Midrash says that people would say, "V'chi efshar? Really? Isn't that like disrespectful that you put It's very nice for the bones of Yosef, but isn't that disrespectful for the Aron HaKodesh? The holiest item on planet Earth. The item we got from heaven, Moshe Rabbeinu brought it down. That it should travel next to the bones of a dead body? That's the way you guys put things together? What a shidduch!" The living Torah and the bones of a dead man. Amru lahem, and they would answer them, "Oh, no. Met sheba Aron zeh? The person who's in that box, that met, kiyam, he fulfilled ma shekatuv baAron Kodesh zeh. He fulfilled what it says in that box." So what's the answer? Still the same question. The answer is that a person could look at the Kodesh, could look at this Torah, and not really understand what it wants from you. You could fulfill all the mitzvot and still not know what you're supposed to be doing. Because you're with everybody. But Yosef is a man that taught us WHAT THIS TORAH MEANS. There's a Torah and there's someone who explained to us that it's about the individual. It's about the person. So that's why they carried both boxes together. But being an individual has more branches than the one I mentioned. Being individual is the ability to see yourself in a unique way and to see yourself being able to accomplish from where you are. You see, people in life have challenges. We all have challenges that we would have chosen something else. Maybe we don't like the home that we were born into. Maybe we don't like the school that we went to. Maybe we're not happy with our height. Maybe we're not happy with our IQ. Maybe we're not so happy with our financial situation. Maybe we're not so happy with our health. I'm sure everybody here has got a list of things that they would have loved if they could have been different. Maybe a change in the husband. Maybe in the wife. Maybe a more understanding mother-in-law. Just the list goes on. We get frustrated so many times by our situation. We didn't date yet. We didn't find yet. We don't have a child yet. We have a child, but I wish we didn't have one. Why does that kid next door Why is he always a superstar? My son is in P3 his whole his whole school career. If they had P5, he'd be in that, too. He's always getting help. He's always Why can't I have normal kids? My kids don't behave. My son is not well. My kids aren't getting married. It's such a struggle. On and on. So we think that the struggles is the reason why we're not satisfied. It's the reason why we're broken. Sometimes you look at a person and you could tell they're just broken. Maybe you don't know what it is, but it's something. They walk around and like the smile is absent, the energy is fading. They're just not there. You could find it in teenagers for sure. Once the people turn bar mitzvahs already, they start walking around. They're frustrated with their friends. They're frustrated with themselves. They look in the mirror, they don't like the way they look. All kinds of issues. It starts from a teenager and it just keeps going. And it's not the way. A person should know that it's not the issues that's making them feel frustrated. It's not your son that's making you feel frustrated. It's not your weakness that's making you feel frustrated. It's not that. So what is it? What it is is that you keep looking at other people. Because you're not an individual, you keep looking over your shoulders and you see that kid is so much better than yours. And they have so much more money than you do. And they're so much prettier and they're so much more successful. When you live as a group of people, it's very frustrating. Because ultimately, there are going to be many things that other happy people have that you don't have. The frustration isn't that you don't have it. The frustration is that you're looking at others. It's not that you're not married that's frustrating you. That's not really what it is. It's that other people are. Of course, you want to be married, but that's not where the bulk of it comes from. And all of life's situations are such to live as an individual means that you don't look at other people to compare yourself. It means to look at your life and understand that you've been placed in this position for a reason. Hashem put you in your home. He wanted you to be in your family. There's a reason why you're born there. I told the story a few times. Happened years ago. A young man in high school comes over to me, maybe 16, 17. He says, "Rabbi, I decided that I'm not eating home on Shabbat anymore. Friday night, Shabbat afternoon, I'm going out." He wants just for me to stamp it. I said, "Why would you do that?" He says, "If you sat by my house and you sat on that table, you'd understand. The lashon hara, the talk, the this, the that. Rabbi, I just can't do it anymore." So, you get it, right? So, where's the stamp? I told him I don't know you well enough to stamp you. But, I will tell you one thing that I hope you don't forget. I said, "There's a reason why you're not the son of the chief rabbi of Israel. There's a reason why you're not the son of the gadol hador. Hashem didn't put you in your home by accident. There's a reason why you're there. You have a responsibility to these people. I don't know if you should leave Friday night or Shabbat, you got to ask someone who knows you better. But, one thing is for sure, you have a responsibility. Don't run away from who you are. You got TO FIGURE OUT FROM HERE HOW TO GET SOMEWHERE. Your mission in life is specifically from where you are. It's specifically from what YOU'RE GIVEN. THE CHILD THAT'S MAKING YOU CRAZY, THAT'S YOUR MISSION. The challenge that you have in whatever area, THAT IS PART OF YOUR SUCCESS. DON'T THINK IT'S A PROBLEM THAT'S HOLDING YOU DOWN. IT'S ACTUALLY WHAT'S GOING to make you great. I once saw a beautiful explanation that if you look here at the two tablets on top of me you'll see that the last commandment in the first tablet is kavod et avicha et imacha. Honor your father and your mother. And in the second tablet, the last one says, "Lo tachmod." Don't be jealous. I saw once a great, beautiful explanation. What's the connection between those two commandments? Kavod et avicha et imacha means honor where Hashem put you in life. Your father and mother doesn't just mean your biological father and mother. It means where Hashem put you in this world. The family you were born into, the brothers and sisters that you have, the situation that you were given, and all else that came with it. Kavod, have honor for it. Respect it. And make something of it. But, you say, "How can I do that? But, I'm missing A, I'm missing B, I'm missing C. How?" Says the Torah, "Continue reading. Lo tachmod. Stop looking at other people. It's the other people that's making you feel frustrated. If you looked at yourself and at your mission, you would be doing a much greater job. You would learn better, you would have be happier, you would be stronger, you would accomplish. Because you and only you can become the great you. And it's from where you are. There's an interesting gemara. The gemara says from where do we know that if someone has something about themselves that's not so great not so exciting that they should stand up and say it. Be the first one to stand up and say it. Where do we learn that from? First of all, I didn't know that we're supposed to do that. The gemara says we learn it from a great man. His name is Eliezer. When Eliezer came to the family of Rivka and he introduced himself, he said, "Eved Avraham anochi." You know who I am? I am the slave of Avraham. Who asked him? He could have said, "My name is Eliezer." They didn't know who he was. Why did he get up and say, "I am the slave of Avraham?" The gemara says, "From here we learn that if you have something about you that's not SO GREAT, GET UP AND SAY IT. WHY? ISN'T IT BETTER TO KEEP IT hidden away? What are you saying it for? What does the gemara mean altogether?" Based on another midrash, the midrash says that Eliezer, when he realized he was a slave, that's why he was born into a slave family. I mean, you could try to change things in life, obviously, but sometimes it is what it is. Eliezer decided, "If I'm going to be a slave, let me be the slave of someone really great." And he became the slave of Avraham Avinu. You know, most people who would be slaves, they're trying to hide or trying to run away from slavery. But, then there are people who take what they were given and they stand up and they make something of it. If you were given something that was difficult, stand up. You don't have to announce it, but stand up and make something big of it. Don't use it as an excuse. Use it as a stepping stool. You know, you might be surprised that some of the greatest accomplishments in life happen because of difficulty. I'm sure you heard of the great Rabbi Akiva Eiger. Rabbi Akiva Eiger is the gold standard in Talmud learning. Any yeshiva in the world right now probably has one of his books out learning it, understanding his question. Why he didn't ask it this way, why he didn't answer it that way. Rabbi Akiva Eiger is the top. This man, one of the greatest Jews that ever lived in Torah learning. When he passed away, they found that he gave them He gave them what to write on his matzeva. He wanted something special written on his tombstone. Tombstone, you write something that's meaningful. Not for the honor of the person only, more importantly for the people who walk by and they're visiting this great person. They want to know what makes HIM GREAT, WHAT MAKES him special. So, Rabbi Akiva Eiger wants when people walk BY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S CALLED SPECIAL. He said, "Tzaddik, kivrei tzaddikim." I remember from 45 years ago, my father, alav hashalom, taking me to kivrei tzaddikim. Every Erev Kippur, we're going to kivrei tzaddikim. We're going to visit the tzaddikim. The ones that are buried. But, why are they tzaddikim? What makes them special? So, read the tombstone. This one did this, this one did that. So, what's Rabbi Akiva Eiger going to write on his tombstone? What does he want you to know about his life? He asked that the following words should be written. Savalti yisurin kol yamav. Basically, it means he suffered all his life with happiness. He saw that as his greatest accomplishment. The very fact that you can have a hard time in life and you could be happy and you could be strong and you could move forward and you could inspire and you could write books and you could teach students and you could be who you should be despite the difficulty of your day. In this country, having a hard day, it's an excuse to take off a week. People say, "What's wrong? You don't look yourself." I don't have been yesterday. But that was already 3 days ago. You're still going. You're still moving on. Come on. THAT'S A GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT. THAT YOU'RE HAVING A HARD TIME, YOU PICK YOURSELF UP, AND YOU FIND THE STRENGTH, AND YOU FIND THE HAPPINESS, and you continue to accomplish. REBBE AKIVA EIGER saw that AS HIS BIGGEST LIFE ACCOMPLISHMENT. HE'S HAVING A HARD DAY, and he's doing great despite. But to do that, you have to be mechubad. You have to honor where Hashem put you in life. The third branch of being an individual comes from a Gemara in Maseches Berachos. The Gemara says the great sage Rebbe Yochanan ben Zakkai was on his deathbed. And his students came to visit him. Rebbe Yochanan ben Zakkai is known to be one of the greatest sages in the history of the Jewish people. And he's on his deathbed, and his students walk in. The Gemara says, "Kevan she'ra'ah osam." Once he saw them, "Hit'chil livkos." He started to cry. And they asked him, "Rebbe, what are you crying for? There's no bigger human on the planet than you. Why are you crying?" He says to them, he says, "You know, I'm about to leave the world, and there's going to be two roads. He says, "One road is Gan Eden, and one road is Gehennam. Ve'eini ode'a, and I don't know be'eizo molichin osi. I don't know where they're going to take me. Velo efke, I shouldn't cry?" The two obvious questions on this story. Number one is why did he cry only when he saw his students? As the Gemara says, "Kevan she'ra'ah osam." When he saw his students, he started to cry. Why didn't he cry before? If you're worried about where you're going, what's the difference if your students are there or not? And number two, who are they? He said, "I don't know where they're going to take me." Who's they? Isn't God one? God's not two. Who are they? He should say, "I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S going to take me." Who are they? And this goes to another important area of life, my dear friends. He says, "In as individuals, not only do we have to keep our own mitzvot, not only do we have to find the strength and happiness in our difficult situations, but we have to recognize that we have a mission in life that's unique to us. For some people, they were blessed with money. When you're blessed with money, it's not a blessing. It's a major assignment to change the world with your money. It's a calling. GOD IS CALLING YOU. HE'S SAYING, "HEY, YOU HAVE SOMETHING BIG TO DO IN LIFE." The money isn't given to you as a reward for being born. It's given it to you as A MISSION TO DO SOMETHING with it. You'll say, "But I give charity like they give charity." But no, no. But you have more. YOU HAVE TO DO MORE. It's not enough TO LOOK AT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE are giving. YOU GOT TO STEP UP. YOU KNOW, WE KNOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE 10 or 20% of your earnings and not more. But a person who's very wealthy can give even more than that. It's a mission of life. It's not only the wealthy man that has a mission. It's the talented man that has a mission. You have a talent, you're able to inspire people through your music. THAT'S A MISSION. FIGURE IT OUT. YOU HAVE A GREAT VOICE. YOU CAN'T SIT ON THE side and say, "No, that's not for me. I want to relax. I make money in business. I don't need No, no. You got to use it. If you could teach people, you have TO TEACH. YOU HAVE to step up. If you're able to teach students, so many beautiful young men and so many beautiful young ladies are growing up in our community. Let me tell you something. Nobody can reach our community students than our community rabbis and teachers. And I'm sure it's that way in every community. You bring someone outside, it's just not the same. BUT WHO'S GOING TO WANT to teach? It doesn't pay like very great money. It's not always the most prestigious place. You got people complaining. You teach 25 students, 24 are doing great. But the only one you hear from is from the 25th one. The 24 never call you. So why would I do it? Why would I be a rabbi and teach students? To teach 5-year-olds, to teach 15-year-olds. Why would I be a morah to young ladies? WHY WOULD I DO THAT? WHY? WHAT AM I NOT GETTING A lot of money for it? Why would you do it? BECAUSE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ABLE TO DO, THAT'S YOUR LIFE MISSION. WHEN GOD GIVES YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL, YOU GOT TO STEP UP, AND YOU GOT TO USE IT. SOME PEOPLE, for some reason, other people like them for some reason. They're very well liked. They're beloved. Again, it's not just a blessing, it's an assignment. Get up and do something with it. Lead them somewhere. Take them somewhere. You can have 15-year-olds. One 15-year-old could be so popular, she could change a whole grade. One 16-year-old boy could change his whole class. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOU, PEOPLE FOLLOW YOU. You have to understand that's a calling. Get up and do something. YOU'RE GOING TO BE MEASURED by it. Rebbe Yochanan ben Zakkai was a great scholar. Tremendous Torah, tremendous mitzvot, tremendous tefillot. His whole life, he was a tzaddik. But guess what? When his students walked in, he started to cry. Because he was also given a great responsibility to teach students that he saw was his calling. When he saw his students, he was worried that maybe, DESPITE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS HE DID like everybody else and more, but his mission on being able to reach his students, maybe he didn't do a good enough job. Maybe he was like the other rabbis, but he wasn't the rabbi he should have been. And therefore, when he walked when they walked in, he started crying, and he says, "I don't know which road they're going to take me on." Who are they? They are his students. They are his wealth. They are his talent. A wealthy guy says, "Listen, I I pray every morning. I I give charity like everybody else. I keep shabbos. What's the problem?" You know, it's a big big big item you have. Whatever God gave you extra, that's what's going to take you to Gan Eden. It's that item. Whatever you were given that's special, don't think it's just a side item. It's what's going to take you to the next world. That's how big it is. And I will just end with a story that we've probably said over many times. And every time we say there's another aspect, another powerful point that comes out of it. It's the first story in the Torah. Story of Adam who ate from the forbidden fruit. There was a great rabbi sitting in jail in Europe. And one of the people in the jail says, "Rabbi, you know, your Torah doesn't make sense. When Adam ate from the tree, God told him or called out and said, 'Ayecha, where are you? God doesn't know. Your God doesn't know where Adam is. What, he lost him? But he's asking, "Where are you?" I thought God knows everything. He's all-knowing. He knows what Not only where you are, he knows who you are. He knows inside your heart what you're thinking. He's asking, "Ayeka, where are you?" So, the rabbi told him, "If you looked a little further and saw Adam's response, you'd understand what Ayeka means." Because when Hashem told Adam, "Did you eat from the fruit?" So, Adam says, "I did cuz my wife gave it to me. She gave me from the fruit and I ate." Hashem was telling Adam Harishon, "That's how you make decisions in life? You make decisions by following people? Because your wife gave you, THAT'S WHY YOU ATE? AYEKA, WHERE ARE YOU? I PUT YOU IN THIS WORLD AS AN INDIVIDUAL. I made you unique. You're your own person. What kind of excuse is it in life to say, "Well, that's what they do."? That's what everyone does. That's where I grew up. Ayeka means, "Where are you?" Your individual self. We always have to assess ourselves and see how much of what we're not doing in life is because of the others around us. I'll just end off by telling you on this point that so much of who we are depends on the people that we're around. And we have no excuse to blame anyone for our decisions. But we must also realize that so much of who we are is dependent on the people that we stay with. We learn so much from our environment. When we sit with people, we're learning from them. They're affecting us. So many people will tell you, "But I love that car. I'm not driving it because it's like showy. I just love it. I really really really love it. It's nothing to do with like the way it looks. I just love it. I just love that bag. I can't I can't explain it to you. It has nothing to do with people looking at it. I love the bag." I just love this. And it's true. They really do love it. But the question is, why do they love it? My dear friends, when you spend your time around people, you start to develop a love for what they love. That is why today the streets of this country have a lot of concern and a lot to worry about because they're spending their time with so many people in a magazine, on social media, friends, and from those people, they start to love things that they don't need to love. Because the people that you're with are going to affect what you love. A person should make that decision for themselves. Make sure you put yourself around the right people who love the right things. You want to love learning Torah? But but I don't love it. I I love vacationing. I don't love learning Torah. I love buying things. I don't love doing mitzvot. I like making money. I don't like giving money. Oh, you don't like it? Let me tell you how you're going to like it. Go to be in places where people are doing it. Go into a bet midrash every morning and you're going to start to love learning. Spend your time around philanthropists. You're going to start to love to give. I was with a fellow, an Ashkenazi fellow, this summer. He's a very very wealthy man. He says to me, he's already an older man. He says to me, "I gave out more money last year than I ever dreamed of in my life. I would never think in my entire life I would give this money." I said, "Wow. It must have been a good year. You made a lot of money last year." He said, "No. It's actually the same." I said, "What happened?" He says, "I got into this group of people. And we became this team of people that's giving money to all these causes." He says, "I used to give 100,000, I'm giving a million. I used to give a half a million, I gave 5 million." He's a very wealthy man, but he said, "I couldn't imagine these numbers 2 years ago. Why am I giving it now?" He says, "I'm part of something. I'm loving it. You want to love something? Just be a part of it. Be around people who give, you'll be a giver. Be around the bet knesset, you'll love to pray. Be around the right people. Take the magazines and throw them in the garbage. Never find yourself following someone of little value because worse than wasting your time, you're actually becoming and learning from them. You're becoming their student. You're becoming someone who loves what they love. And that would be a very big disappointment for someone of your caliber. The individual in us is what we are all about. On Yom Kippur, we go in as an individual. And our only success in life will be as individuals. Our mitzvot have to be ours. Pesach Sheni better than Pesach Rishon in that way. Our challenges, who we are, what we've been given in life, whatever it might be, that is going to be our success from there. Saval yissurin, to be able to go through the difficulty and be strong and to be happy and to accomplish and to realize that whatever God has singled you out for, whatever it might be, it's something that you're going to be led with when you leave this world. It's a very special assignment. Be the individual that understands yourself. Put yourself with the right people so that you as an individual could learn to love things from them, but you'll situate yourself. Don't find yourself in the street learning from random people. Choose the people that you will learn from. You be that person that says, "I want to be like that guy. I want to be giving like them. I want to be able to do that. And I'm going to choose to place myself around them so I could learn to love and learn to do just like that." That's also called an individual decision. Don't find yourself living in the street and following the herd of people. The individual in us will always find greatness. Kaved et avicha ve'et imecha. Have honor for where Hashem put you in life. Lo tachmod. Don't look around. Learn from people that you want to learn from, but don't compare. When you live your life, you're going to find such koach and such success because from there is going to be your greatness. Hashem should give us all the wisdom, the strength to be able to live our greatness because im en ani li, because if you're not going to be yourself, nobody could replace you. You, my dear friends, are irreplaceable, each and every one of us. We are irreplaceable. If we don't live for ourselves, nobody will be able to take our mission and our job. Let's live it. Each one as an individual, together as a beautiful community. Hashem should bless you all. Tizku leshanim rabot neimot vetovot. Be'ahavah ben Akashia omer Ratzah Hakadosh Baruch Hu Torah u'mitzvot she'ne'emar Adonai chafetz lema'an tzidko Yagdil Torah ve'yadir