EMETTalk - Mr. Nissan Borr - Do As I Say, Not As I Do

our next speaker is somebody very new to EMT somebody that we brought in uh he spoke last night to the gentleman he did a very fantastic job please help me welcome Mr Nissan there's a story there's a story told of a RV a rabbi of AEL the rabbi Vash is walking through his kahila through his congregation he's walking through the main sanctuary and he notices a father standing beside a son sun is shaking and doing and looking inside and what he noticed is is that every time the son looks away from his sitter sidor every time the son looks away from his sitter the father gives him a look takes his head and turns it back to the sitter and then again he gets distracted looks away and he takes his head and turns it back to the sitter and the rubber the sh notices and walks right on over and he says sir what what are you doing I'm teaching my son to DAV it's very important daving I'm teaching my son to DAV he said no that's not what you're doing right now you're teaching your son to teach his son to Davin you want to teach your son to Davin Davin yourself stop getting distracted by your son looking away put your own eyes inside your own safer put your own eyes inside your own sther and talk to Hashem talk to Hashem from your heart talk to Hashem like it matters to you and then it will matter to your son right now all all he's learning is how to take his hand onto his child's head and stress him out one day we have a lot of distractions a lot of stress a lot of things we're trying to figure out our kids our families our businesses how to make our spouse talk to us in the way we want how to make our children sit and Sh stand at the right time and Sh do the right thing in class and this therapist is telling this and that therapist is telling me that and the see it and the speech and the OT and the teacher and everywhere we look we have different advice and that's before we get to business and that's before we get to money and mortgage and investment and what do I do but no matter where we turn there's another thing to figure out rabish salant rabish salant is known as the founder of the mus movement that means that salant is the one who is credited with this entire direction that the Jewish nation has taken of focus on in intrapersonal growth on my own own connection with Hashem through my mid through my behavior through my growth and his quoted as saying the following very very powerful and possibly at this point famous quotes when I was a young boy I was passionate and I wanted to change the world and as I got a little older I realized that that might be out of my hands so I took a step back and I said I'm just going to influence my country and as I got a little wiser and a little older I realized that maybe I should just Chang my city and then as we can all predict eventually he said maybe just my community maybe just my congregation maybe just my family and he says when I became a very old man I realized that the only person I could control is myself the only person I could change is myself but I wish I would have realized this when I was a young man cuz then I could have changed the world because by changing myself I do change my family I do change my children I do change my spouse house I change everyone who I come into contact with inevitably unquestionably there's no more tricks and tips and the therapist suggested and if I come at this time and this way in this moment then maybe they'll hear what I have to say stop a second let's start with the one primary thing we can definitely control my own growth my own self if I change my relationship with Hashem things around me will change for the better how okay it's up to Hashem if the exact change I was stressed about is the exact change that goes first but it's in our control we all know that in any moment where we're trying to create change we definitely want to start with what's the easiest to control what's the thing we actually have in our power if we want our children to stop watching on a device maybe we should change the way we interact with our device if I want my children to look at Hashem in a certain way he maybe I have to look at Hashem in that way first and really and truly and it changes everything CU I'm no longer scheming I'm no longer trying to figure out how to change these other people around me that have they have free will there's nothing I could definitely do for them I don't have to plan anymore I don't have to over and over calculate I take a second at night when I'm stressed out and there's a lot of noise and there's a lot of things going on and there's a lot of stress in the world and a lot of complication I sit down I close my eyes and I say Hashem I'm going to get close to you by changing and that will change the people around me thank you [Applause]