Frisch Teens Challenge Rabbi YY Jacobson | Q&A with Rabbi YY

[music] >> The Yeshiva.net >> Um, what's the best advice that you could give to someone, I mean, especially our age, of someone who's maybe could be like losing their love for the religion? >> Nice question. Beautiful question. Um You should listen to my classes. Really? Really? You should listen to my classes. I don't mean mine. It doesn't have to be mine. It could be anybody's. I mean, you you want to be able to learn about a Yiddishkeit, about the religion that is relevant, that is emotional. There's a reason we're losing love for religion. It doesn't mean anything. A and B, there could be also pain involved. I don't know in this particular situation. Sometimes it's just boredom. Sometimes it's more than boredom. It's like annoying. It's like leave me alone. You're just You're just messing with my life. So, I think the only way we can really appreciate the religion is if we learn what it really means. If we only learn don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't And if you do it, you're going to burn in hell, and that's the only message of the religion, it can become very, very negative. So, I think you want to be able to open yourself up to a deeper dimension of Yiddishkeit. So, either find books or teachers or mentors that can help you do that. Because I teach a lot and I give a lot of classes, so that's why I'm suggesting that. But, find something that works for you. So, I teach a lot about you. What is Yiddishkeit? What what is it? Like what does God really want? He just wants to force me to put on tefillin every day. Why? He's got going to have a headache if I don't put on tefillin. Like what's going to happen? Right? Why do you have to spoil every fun? So, I think you seem like an intelligent person and a sensitive person, which are usually the people who get most annoyed with Judaism, the most spiritual and the most sensitive, cuz they can't do things as a robot. So, it's a compliment to you. It's not a bad thing. It's a compliment. Stop shaming yourself. Your soul is looking for a deeper version of your desk height. Your soul is looking for something beyond communal communal predictability and safety and giving a house to your parents, right? Your soul is looking for something more. You don't think you don't believe you were created just to make just to be a nachas machine, right? So that your parents could say, "We hatched him, we matched him, we dispatched him, and he's going to do it to the next generation." So you're looking for more. You're looking for depth. So start your search like Avraham Avinu. You're smashing all the idols and now it's time for lech lecha. Lech lecha means open yourself up to a deeper version. So that's why I'm telling you I think my classes may be very helpful for you. Beseder? >> Thank you. >> And the Gedaliah will give you my email. If you have good questions, you can email them to me and I'll answer. And I'll answer your questions. Blin ader. You have to give me a few days, but I'll answer, yeah. >> Okay. Your question was if Hashem knows every choice we'll make and how our lives will turn out, why does he create people knowing they're going to do evil or being punished? You say people have free will, why does he create these people in the first place knowing they're only going to cause harm? >> Great question. Am I supposed to answer that? Here is Here is Here is the truth, okay? We could get into the philosophy. I don't think it's going to be helpful. Let's get straight to the core of it. Logic is very very important. We all use our brains, we all use our minds, but it's not it's not the deepest experience of life. Um I love my child, yeah? Is it logical that I love my child? Yeah, it's logical. I'm his father or her father, so I love them, right? It's logical. But if you're going to reduce the love to logic, it's going to be it's not going to capture it. If you're going to say, "You want to understand how much a father loves a child?" Well, I'll explain to you mathematically. Because you fathered the child and the child was raised by him and therefore it makes sense to love. It's true. But, the love is so much deeper. So, all the deepest questions about Hashem and the universe and you, logic will bring you to a certain point, but it's not going to capture the essence of it. And I'll tell you why. Because logic itself was created. So, if logic itself was created, logic will never bring you to the source of why it was created. Cuz every why has another question, and why, and why, and why, and why, and why, and why. And at some point it gets stuck. So, how do you get to the core of it? The core of all of it is love. It's connection. And that is Hashem is beyond logic. There's no way that through logic you're going to grasp him. No logic in the world can grasp Hashem. I can't even understand a cell or an atom. I don't understand the sun. Nobody understands the sun. We know some things about the sun. The magnificence and the depth of a sun and even an atom, nobody understands till today. So, you think I understand the one who created the sun? You think I understand the one who created cells? So, this is where we're humble. Logic can take you to great places, but it hits a ceiling. It doesn't go beyond that. Because logic itself is a creation. I can't expect a tissue box to understand the one who manufactured it. I can't expect a phone. I have it somewhere. Okay. I can't expect a phone to grasp the one who made the phone. Why not? The answer is because it's a creation. So, there's so much more in the creator that the creation can't grasp. So, there's so much more to Hashem than what our mind can grasp. And when we could surrender to that, we're touching truth much more than if we think we're going to understand. So, what do we want to know? We want to know one thing. And that is Hashem created you because he wanted a relationship with you. And the relationship with you he wanted you should choose, not program, not forced. And every moment of life, I have the choice to choose the relationship. And in that relationship is the deepest experience of connection that your soul, which is a piece of Hashem, left, and it wants to reconnect to the source. And that's the deepest truth about a person. I want to reconnect to my source. Now you'll say, why is there suffering? Why is there pain? Why is there evil? I don't know. Good questions. There's different explanations, but they're not ultimately going to answer the question cuz there'll always be another question, another question, another question, another question. A much deeper answer is, we don't know about a lot of things in this world. What do we know? We know that we're here. We know that all of it was conceived and created because of his love to you and his desire for a real relationship with you. And that right now I could respond with an open heart rather than with a closed heart. Is there a purpose to everything? There's a purpose to everything. Can I figure out exactly why everything happened and a lot of suffering in this world? I don't know. I don't think anybody knows. And to even think that we understand it is ludicrous, just like if I'm a tissue box and I decide as a tissue box I'm going to understand the one who manufactured the tissue box. Good luck, tissue box. Why don't you stay in your own lane? I'm not going to waste my time understanding things that are infinite, that are beyond understanding. It's a waste of time. And my mind can't even do anything with it. It's like, thank you. It's like putting It's like putting a circle into a square. That's my mission. You want to put Hashem into your mind. It's like forcing a circle into a square. You're going to destroy the circle. And you're going to destroy the square, too. Let the square be a square. Let the circle be a circle. And let the square say, "You know what? I'm going to stay in my lane. I'm going to try to understand what I'm capable of understanding. That which is beyond understanding, I'm going to surrender to trust." I don't know if your mind likes that answer, but I'm telling you the truth. Yeah. >> Um I heard you say that uh our relationship with Jew. Um, would that mean that Julian Judaism is more of a mindset or is it more a religion or ethnicity? What would you consider Judaism? >> Beautiful question. Is Judaism a mindset? Is Judaism ethnic ethnic ethnic group belonging? Is Judaism a religion? Which one is it? The answer is it's all of them, but it's neither of them. It's a mindset, that's true. It's obviously an ethnic group called Jews. It's [snorts] also a religion. So, it's all of them, but it's much more than that. I would say that Judaism is the color of your soul. That's what it is. Just like the color of my eyes, I can't change, I don't want to change. Your soul has a color. A Jewish soul has a certain color, that's called Judaism. That's why it includes even a Jew who's an atheist. A Jew who converts to another religion. A Jew who's not affiliated. A Jew who chooses not to be Jewish. If it was just a religion, he's not religious, he's not Jewish. He's still Jewish. If it's just a mindset, if the Jew doesn't have the mindset of a Jew, in fact he's a self-hating Jew, he's still Jewish. If a Jewish woman is a Jewish woman, she needs a get. If it would be a gentile, she wouldn't need a get. But you say Judaism is a religion is true, but there's Jews who are not religious. What about ethnic? You could convert from any race and any ethnic group, there's no particular race that's called Jewish, right? We have black Jews and we have white Jews and we have Yemeni Jews and Iraqi Jews and Ashkenazi Jews and Sephardic Jews, very different types of races and backgrounds and affiliations and different ethnic groups and demographics. So, what is it really? What is it really? What it is it really is that the soul of a Jew channels a certain energy. And to be fully connected to my Judaism means I am open I open myself up to the color of my eyes, to the color of my soul, to the energy that's vibrating through my soul. What is that energy? That energy is that God, Hashem, chose you to be his mouthpiece in the world. That's the energy. He chose you and me to be his mouthpiece in the world. That's why there's so much anti-Semitism. >> Would you say then that everyone has the option like everyone is technically a Jew but they just haven't realized it yet? That's it. >> Great question. Great question. There's a spark of a Jew in everybody and that's why everybody could convert. But I would put it a little differently. I would say [snorts] the role of the Jew as the chosen people is to teach every human being that they were all chosen in their own way. So they weren't necessarily chosen to be Jewish, but they were chosen to reveal Hashem in the world in their own way. The Gentile through the Gentile, the Jew through the Jew. So the Jew was chosen to teach everybody that they were chosen. That's what we were chosen for. Yeah. >> You talked about your experience with the Rebbe and how you got your job as writing down his speeches. >> Great question. So uh I grew up in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. I was born in 1972. That's the year the Rebbe became 70 years old cuz he was born in 1902 in Ukraine. Chabad, the movement of Chabad, was founded by the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi. He wrote a very famous book called Tanya, Shulchan Aruch HaRav. And he founded the Chassidic movement called Chabad. What was unique about the Alter Rebbe was the Baal Tanya, Rabbi Schneur Zalman, was that he, unlike many of his friends, developed Chassidus in a very very analytical style. They called him the Litvak, actually, because he came from Lithuania. They called him the Litvak even though you know usually he wouldn't be perceived as that, but they used to call him the Litvak. So, he developed Hasidus in a very analytical, systematic way, like you learn Gemara. So, his discourses were very, very long and elaborate and explanatory. They weren't just insights. They were a full system of understanding what the inside, the essence of Torah is about, what the soul of Torah is about. So, from the day he began teaching, because these were not short insights, there was a group called choizerim. Oral scribes who would memorize what he said and transcribe it. And that started to happen in all the seven generations of Chabad. Including by the Rebbe. When the Rebbe became a Rebbe in 1950, after his father-in-law passed away, so it's interesting that there was a young man, who was a 20-year-old boy, Rabbi Yoel Kahn, who was a genius, and he began memorizing the Rebbe's talks and transcribing them. And then he gathered a group of choizerim, which is young people who would help him memorize it and transcribe it. So, my brother was involved in this work. My own older brother is 16 years older than me. So, when I was getting older, he brought me into the group. So, in the last years of the Rebbe's life, I had the privilege of being on that group of choizerim, which were people who were who would memorize the Rebbe's talks and then transcribe them after Shabbos and Yom Tov. Of course, Shabbos and Yom Tov there's no recording devices. So, everything had to be memorized. And the Rebbe's talks were not short. They were very long. There was a farbrengen that can go anywhere from 2 hours to 3 hours to 4 hours, 5 hours, 6 hours. There were even farbrengens that were 8 hours. And these were deep talks. The Rebbe was a genius. And he wouldn't give you No, he wouldn't tell you what he's going to talk about. You didn't know what he's going to talk about. There could be one talk was a rashi on the parsha, deep pilpul in rashi and Rambam and siyum on shas, a siyum on a mesechta. There was a maamar Hasidus and there was zoyar, kabbalah, philosophy, lumdus, rishonim, acharonim. It was very, very intense. And it can go for hours. And everything had to be memorized. So, this was the group Motzei Shabbos would come together, repeat it a few times, and then transcribe it. So, the last few years, I had the privilege of being on that team. It was very, very hard work. It's excruciating work because I was really jealous of all my friends Motzei Shabbos. They can go for pizza, whatever they did Motzei Shabbos, whatever the holy thing to do is. And my Motzei Shabbos looked a little very different. I was usually up a whole night writing till the morning and sometimes Sunday a whole day and Sunday night. So, it was very, very intense, but it was also a very big privilege and a historic opportunity because we knew that the Rebbe's words are priceless and timeless. And they're really it's like revelation. It's like the Rebbe said So, it was a very, very awesome privilege and responsibility and duty and pressure and ecstatic experience all together to be on that team and to write it down. And this was every single Shabbos and every single Yom Tov. Yom Tov it was more complicated because there were holidays that the Rebbe would have four farbrengens before anything could be written down. For example, if Shemini Atzeres and Simchas Torah were Thursday, Friday, so the Rebbe would farbreng on Thursday, the night of Simchas Torah, a few hours, and then Friday, the day of Simchas Torah, and then Shabbos Bereishis, two farbrengens. So, there were four farbrengens before you could write anything. That means you're talking about a cumulative of 10, 15, 20 hours. Imagine. >> [laughter] >> And half of it wasn't jokes and stories. The Rebbe wouldn't say jokes, and he would barely say stories. So, this was a really, really a grueling job. Rebbe Yoel was a genius, thank God. So, he really had the ability to master it, and he had good people. And together, I can't say that we remembered everything, but most of it was remembered and transcribed. And today, you have hundreds of works of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, literally hundreds of works, the sichos and maamarim. It's all from what was recorded by the by the choizrim. So, that was uh very briefly part of the experience. Yeah. >> Um, where do you unanswered prayers go? >> Excellent question. Where do unanswered prayers go? One place they could land is in your sensitive heart which becomes resentful and angry. That's where one place unanswered prayers go. Go go land, go. But there's probably a much deeper way of looking at it. I don't think there's such a thing as a prayer that's unanswered. There's no prayer that's unanswered. Every prayer has an impact. The exact impact it has is beyond what any human being can calculate. For example, sometimes a person is very very sick, right? And announcement comes to every Yeshiva in the world, say to him right now, yeah? The guy is about to die in around 25 seconds. The poor kids don't know that, okay? Say to him right now. They say to him 10 minutes later Baruch Dayan Emet. So all the kids after 20 years of doing this feel all the Tehillim we ever said is wasted cuz you're only saying Tehillim for people who are about to die, okay? They die 20 minutes later and then it's obvious that your Tehillim means nothing. It's a big mistake because it's the opposite. We have to understand every prayer has an impact. I don't know how I help the person. I can help them in this world, I can help them in next world. The soul is eternal. Whenever you pray for a person, you help them. You help them in ways that are beyond what you can imagine. Sometimes their time has come. Their soul is about to pass away. They're so they're about to pass away. But don't think that your prayers didn't impact them. It impacted them in a tremendous way. Nobody could even understand the benefit that they did for that person through their prayer. The same is true with prayers for yourself. Every prayer has an impact. No prayer goes unanswered, but the question is what's the answer? What is prayer? Prayer is I'm talking to the creator and I'm telling him, "God, I need this, I need this, I need this, I need this, I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. Okay, great. Now, here is the real thing of prayer. Really prayer is, "Hashem, allow me the deepest prayer." What's the deepest prayer? "Allow me to experience my life the way you experience my life. Allow me to see your perspective. Allow my vision to have your vision. God conceives of you. He has a vision for your life. I don't know what that vision is. So, sometimes I could remain stuck in my little vision. I want this. I want this. I want this. But, what happens if all these things I want is actually something that my soul doesn't really want. I didn't sign up for this. My soul wants exactly the opposite. You know why? Cuz that's what its mission is. But, I had takes me time. So, how is Hashem going to help me? He's going to say, "No. No. No. No. No. No." Every no is really a yes. Every no Imagine. Imagine, okay? I see a girl. It's the first girl I ever met. I'm crazy about her, okay? I'm crazy about her. And I'm like, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" AND SHE'S LIKE, "NO." >> [laughter] >> AND YOU COME HOME. AND YOU'RE LIKE, "HASHEM, HASHEM, ANSWER. I WANT HER. I WANT HER. I WANT HER." SO, YOU CALL HER AGAIN. SHE'S LIKE, "NO. I told you no. I'm blocking your number." And you're like, "God, when are you going to say, 'Yeah'?" You date another girl. And the girl is like, "No." >> [laughter] >> You're praying again. No. No. No. No. You could look at it from two perspectives, okay? You could look at it Hashem said no. Or actually, Hashem said yes to the right girl. Yes to the right girl. But, you can't marry two women. You're an Ashkenazi, unfortunately. Just joking. It's fortunately. Try to work it out with one and you'll be fine. You don't need to. The no was really a yes. Hashem was saying, "You need to go through these dates, these relationships, to get your real girl." Trust me, if this girl would say yeah, it's not what your soul needs. It's not what your soul wants. She's a beautiful girl, just not for you. So, you could look at it as a no, or you could look at it as this is a no which is bringing you to your yes. I WANT THIS IN MY LIFE. Do you really know what you want in your life? Let me tell you no, so you could crack open, and then you'll see what you really want in your life. So, prayer is not just a vending machine. You throw in $9, "Give me sushi, God." And then you see the vending machine is stuck. >> [laughter] >> No sushi. So, you're putting another dollar, another dollar, another dollar. That's not davening. You're not davening to a vending machine. You're connecting to your own source of energy. You're connecting to the source of your soul. You're connecting to your best friend. God is your best friend. He's your ally. He's your fan. He's your creator. Right now, he's creating you. You're connecting to your energy source, and you're channeling the energy. And sometimes it means that this is not what you need. This is not what you're ready for. This is not what you came here for. So, no, no, no, no, no, no. Crack open, crack open, crack open, CRACK OPEN. AH, [screaming] THAT'S WHAT IT IS. COLOR WAR. COMPRENDA? No prayer goes unanswered. Every prayer is part of the journey towards where you need to get in life. And that's sometimes very mysterious, and sometimes it's painful, too. The girl saying no could be very painful, cuz you want her. But you want her the way you are today. The person in a year from now is going to say, "Ah, yeah, that's not me. That was not me." That girl would have limited your life significantly. Not because she's a bad girl, because she's her and you're you and you're not soulmates. But when I was 19 years old or 21 years old, I couldn't have known that. I couldn't have known that. So, the best thing Hashem did for me was he made sure that the girl told me no. The best thing he ever did for me. You get it? If she would have said yes, now you're in trouble. So, don't worry. Every prayer hits the spot, pun intended. It always hits the spot. It's not like a vending machine that gets stuck. And then you guilt yourself, you shame yourself, Hashem hates me. He doesn't hate you. He loves you. He loves you more than you love yourself. How do I know? He created you. He must love you more than you love yourself. I didn't create me. I don't love myself so much. >> [laughter] >> All the self-love you have is God's love to you. There's no other self-love. Nobody's going to love you more than Hashem, even your mother. Believe it or not, even though she she might argue with me. Because where did we even get the experience of love? Where did we learn love from? Who taught me love? Where did love come from? If evolution is true and we evolved from the Big Bang 25 billion years ago, how did mindless cells produce love? Where did they get love from? Randomly? Love is a is an experience. It's a consciousness. It's an intelligence. All the love in the world comes from the source of love. What's the source of love? Hashem. So, nobody loves you more than Hashem. In fact, all the love in the world is just a glimpse of the love of Hashem. What I'm telling you now is very deep. It's going to help you in life. It doesn't always look that way. Life is painful because the journey of the soul is very deep. It's very mysterious. Yeah. What else, guys? You see Judaism is not so boring. >> Definitely not. >> You see that? That's what you need to learn about. He has to learn this. Yeah? >> Um are you supposed to like always show your real emotion or are you allowed to sometimes put up a face? >> Good question. Love the question. Are you always supposed to show your real emotions or you sometimes put up a face of fakeness? Excellent. There's an expression in Yiddish that I would used to say. I'll [snorts] say it in Yiddish. You're never allowed to lie, but it doesn't mean you always have to say the truth. You understand? If somebody has bad breath and they really smell, unless I'm very close to them, it's not a mitzvah to always say, "By the way, you have bad breath. Get out of my sight." But I shouldn't lie. There's a big difference between not always saying everything if the person is not ready for it or lying. Lying, you don't lie. Don't be fake. Don't say, uh my son once went to eat somewhere for Shabbos. He came home. I say, "How was the food?" He says, "It was horrific. I couldn't eat a thing." I said, "Oh my god, what did you tell the hostess when you were left?" He said, "I told her the food was unbelievable." I said, "What did you mean?" He said, "It's hard to believe that somebody should make such horrible food." It's unbelievable. It's even with that moon now you can't have a moon now that somebody could ruin the food so badly. I appreciated it. You know why? He didn't lie to her, but he didn't tell her, you know, "You need some help." He was a guest and he's being polite, but he didn't lie. He didn't say the food was delicious. He said it was unbelievable. Okay. Now, what do they say you have to know when you have when not, but the point is as follows. Not everybody is ready to hear every authentic emotion. You have to have people that you trust that you could share these things with. But don't lie. Don't lie. Never lie. Never say never be fake. Never say things just to please people. You're going to have a miserable life that way. It's torturous cuz you always have to be on top of your game and what you You to hear. You can't live can't You want to live inside your own skin. Don't tell people what they want to hear. Tell them the truth, but you have to always ask yourself how much are they ready to hear, and how deep is this relationship? I can't share with every person in the world my deepest emotions. It's just It's It's It's It's It's It doesn't make sense. It's going to fire back. It's going to hurt you. It's going to hurt them. So, you want to be kind, polite, present, but without facades, without masks. Be a real person, but choose your words that are appropriate to each person based on the relationship. You understand what I'm saying? Somebody says, "Good morning, Rabbi YY. How are you?" I'm not going to start telling them about every crisis I have in my life, cuz they couldn't care less about it. They just want me to say, "Baruch Hashem, I'm great." "Yeah, you good?" "Yeah, I'm good." "Yeah, you good?" "Yeah, I'm good." Okay. And they say, if somebody You know what they What's definition of a nudnik? Somebody who asks you how you are, and you actually tell them. Right? So, you have to know what Yeah, what not. Comprende? >> Um you spoke a little bit earlier about like evolution of the big bang. How do you like Like how do you have the idea that evolution [snorts] with but also the idea that Hashem created Adam Like how do you like combine those two ideas? Do you just disregard evolution and say, "Oh, Hashem created perfect as we are right now." >> There's different views. Some people say that, cuz evolution has a lot a lot of holes. Some people, it's very hard for them to do that. So, [snorts] you know, they might say that God created the process. That itself is a created process. It was a guided process. In other words, not random. Yeah. There's different views, different perspectives. Yeah. >> About like >> You understand? >> I don't really know how to phrase this, but a lot of people like say like everything that like in your life like like bad things is just like what God wants. Like like Um like if you say like God says like no to something like if you don't happen to be healthy or something, and God's saying no, like it's for like [snorts] these are not supposed to be healthy or something. I don't or like something like that. Like if you just like let's say you dive into like dive for something like what if it's really not like for the better like you dive into like your dad to get like a job or something. I don't know. And he doesn't get a job and he can't eat. Like that's not necessarily just Yeah. >> That's true. Sometimes it's very hard. Sometimes we're davening for something. We want it to happen and it's not happening. But it's not just that Hashem doesn't want it to happen. It's your own soul which is part of Hashem doesn't want it to happen. Your soul knows what to daven for. Sometimes I'm davening for something superficially cuz my own soul knows it's not what I need. It's not what I want. How do I know that? Because the soul is a piece of Hashem. So deep down what Hashem wants is what your soul wants. Our soul signed up to whatever happens in this world with it. Everybody chose their life. I know it's hard to hear. But they chose their life. You know why you chose your life? Because this is the most beautiful life that's your possible for you. You're saying no, not me. >> [laughter] >> You chose your parents. You chose your siblings. You even chose your struggles. You know that? Yeah. Why would you choose this life? You know why? Because this is the life that is going to fulfill the purpose of your creation and all of creation. So you chose it. You're saying me? I'm just a little guy. You're not so little. >> [laughter] >> Doesn't mean it's not painful. But the pain is not a mistake. The pain is not a mistake. >> [snorts] >> So sometimes we're davening for something, but our soul is like I'm not sure. When you daven with the core of your soul, that happens. Because your soul wants it, God wants it, and it happens. >> [laughter] [snorts] >> Yeah. >> What would you say is more important? And like if you could only have one, which one would you choose? Having a real kavana or having a minyan? >> [snorts] >> Excellent question. What do you choose? Real kavana or a minyan? The answer is a minyan is amazing, but kavana is the priority. Kavana is a priority. One day you'll teach them the second of chaim. Chidushei chaim alei al Rambam. I don't know if they learn chaim in fresh, huh? Supposed to be a litvish yeshiva. So the second of chaim. A chassidish yeshiva. Okay, so finish. Finish. Um the essence kavana is the essence of tfila. The essence of tfila a minyan is a component of tfila. It's a tnai. It's a beautiful part of tfila. But kavana is tfila. Da lifnei Hashem. Awareness, consciousness. That is the essence of tfila. That's what chaim explains. The >> [snorts] >> cheftz of tfila is kavana. Presence. You understand what I'm saying? Minyan is a very powerful and beautiful detail. But you could have it without a minyan. Kavana is davening. That is davening. I'll give you an example, okay? I'll give you an example. Come Sukkos. Okay? Somebody will ask a question. Should you take an esrog, yeah? Should you take an esrog that is not so beautiful and it's damaged and it's blemished. It's still kosher. But it's not the real real esrog. It's like a shvacha esrog. It's It's kosher, BUT IT'S NOT THE REAL THING. Or better to take a beautiful beautiful beautiful pomegranate instead of an esrog? What comes first? It's a beautiful The most night The red is shining. What's the answer? Why? Pomegranate is much nicer. What's the answer? That's the mitzvah. You understand? Minyan is a beautiful esrog. Kavana is an esrog. The Rambam says tfila below kavanah ain a tfila. Kavanah is the estrick. Kavanah means consciousness, presence. I'm talking to somebody. Somebody's listening to me. You understand? But it shouldn't be used as an excuse. I'm not davening with a minyan cuz I want more kavanah and then you just davening, you know. You understand? If it's a sincere question, that's the answer. If it's not a sincere question, then we have to give a different answer. But if it's a sincere question, that's the answer. But you can't fool yourself. I'll tell [snorts] you personally, I sometimes sit here with a minyan. Minyanim go very fast. I can't daven with a minyan. Most minyanim I can't daven with. Cuz I get stuck sometimes on the words. I want to sing a niggun. I want to meditate a little bit. By the time I wake up from my meditation, they're already finished davening. You understand? So sometimes I catch the second minyan around. >> [laughter] >> They have a minyan, next minyan. So what should I do? I should rush and fast just so I could say I caught up to the minyan? No, of course not. >> [cough] >> Ata mevin? Very good. But for this you have to respect yourself. You have to respect that your relationship is more important than everything else. Your kavanah is meaningful. Sometimes we daven with a minyan just to say I daven with a minyan. That's not the point. The point is the daven. A minyan is a gevaldige mitzvah. It's a gevaldige mitzvah, but it's not me'akev. It's not the essence of davening. I don't mean chas v'shalom to minimize a minyan, tfila b'tzibur, but I mean to minimize when tfila b'tzibur is at the expense of kavanah, then you're missing the point. You understand? This is very important, yeah. Yeah. >> How do you know what the >> My son is in a yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael in Bat Ayin. He called me and he said they daven shacharis an hour and a half. They daven It's a Breslover He learns there. He tells me they daven an hour and a half, not a minute less. So, I'm like, interesting. They're the only ones who do what the Alter Rebbe says. The Alter Rebbe writes in Tanya that Shacharis shouldn't be less than an hour and a half. So, I don't know if they do it in Lubavitch, but in in Breslov they daven there an hour and a half. I was very impressed. I said, "I know why they call it a Breslov Yeshiva. They're the only ones who do what it says in Tanya." Tanya says you should daven an hour and a half Shacharis. >> [laughter] >> Stam. Yeah. >> How do you know what to ask for if your soul wants something different? >> Beautiful question. That itself you should ask for. That's what you ask for. You ask Hashem, allow me to experience the true calling of my soul. That's what you daven for. That's davening. That's davening. Chaneinu me'itcha chochma bina vada'as. What do you say in Ashkenaz? Bina vada'as v'haskel. What do you say? Okay. What are you asking for? You're asking for I should have the wisdom to know what to ask for, to know what I really want, what I really need. Not to just get caught up. You know, I have a itch in my back. Imagine you have You ever have a back itch and you can't reach it. You know those itches that from both sides you can't get there. You need a back scratcher. Right? You have that itch in the middle of davening and God says, "Okay, whatever you want, I'm here." AND I'M LIKE, "SCRATCH MY BACK." 5 SECONDS LATER IT'S NOT WHAT you needed. >> [laughter] >> You should have the wisdom to know what's an itch in the back. I'm not telling you not to scratch your back. Scratch your back. It's not the hate. Probably you shouldn't cuz it's the mosquito bite. So, you know, shouldn't. But, uh don't get intoxicated by that cuz in 10 seconds later you don't need a back scratch, but there's other things you do need. >> [laughter] >> The biggest filler, the deepest filler is I [snorts] should be in flow. I should be in sync with you. Whatever happens to me today, I should initiate places and people that will allow me to be in flow with Hashem's will. Literally in flow. That's the deepest filler. Cuz that's really what the soul wants. It wants to be part It wants to be connected to the source. >> Yeah. >> And when do you know when to stop asking for something? >> If your soul really wants it, don't. Here's a good idea. >> [snorts] >> The most powerful book in Judaism that can teach you what Judaism is is Tehillim. But most people don't understand Tehillim. So, you need a Tehillim in English. They have today very good Tehillims and under the Hebrew word they have English. You know, Artscroll has it. Maybe others have it. So, they could read Tehillim in English. But when you read Tehillim, imagine this is written by a poet, a king, who actually had a lot of wealth, very successful person, a warrior, won a lot of wars, was a very powerful and accomplished and creative and brilliant genius. We call him Dovid Hamelech. And read how he talks and prays to God, and you'll see what davening is. You'll see what it is. That's really what gives you the experience of what it means to daven. Read Read it in English. You'll see. When you say Tehillim, it's a very good You know, every day there's a Tehillim is divided over the month. It's a good suggestion. So, the we we fit A lot of us finish Tehillim every month. Every day you say like four or five kapitlach, sometimes two, three, four, whatever it is. And over 30 days you finish it. Like today, let's say is your aleph, right? So, from kapitel sameach to kapitel sameach aleph. And if you have those Tehillim, you could do it after davening shacharis. It's It's a 5-minute thing, like most 7 minutes, 8 minutes, 4 minutes, whatever it is. But say even one kapitel or a few kapitlach of the day, and take an English Tehillim and look and start asking yourself, "What was Dovid feeling?" He had a palace. He had money. He had quite a few women. He had a lot of affluence. He united the Jewish people. He started to build great laid the ground for the Beis Hamikdash. He was a prophet. He was a big man. Look how he davens, how he talks about his pain, about his anxiety. And the key that you see in Tehillim is he's always looking for devekus. He just wants to be one with the source. He never wants to be detached. That's his main thing in Tehillim. You could learn from it what he was looking for. He was very smart. He knew what he was looking for. And he never stops that. He never stops cuz the soul is always homesick. From the moment we're born until the end of our life, the soul has one desire. Connection, attachment. The reason we want to be attached with friends, the reason we want girls, the reason [snorts] we want to be close to our parents, the reason we want to be close to our friends, the reasons we want to be part of a clique, the reason we want to be popular in high school. Anybody? You want to be popular in high school? The reason for all these things is one reason. You're looking for Hashem. You just think the girl is Hashem. Okay, you'll figure it out. She's not. >> [laughter] >> You think your parents are Hashem. You think your friends are Hashem. They're all part of Hashem. They're not Hashem. Really, you're looking for Hashem. You're looking for devekus. You're looking for oneness. I think if you're going to like me I have it. Because everybody is a spark but really you're looking for a connection with Hashem. That's your energy. And that's going to be the deepest connection. And that's Tehillim. And that prayer you don't stop. Every day you you continue. Every day you get closer, closer, closer. Okay, boys. I'm going to wish you tremendous hatslacha. Hashem should guide you all. You should have blissful, meaningful, inspiring, authentic, powerful lives. I hope you can internalize some of the words we try to channel base on Hashem. And to be able to live your lives to the fullest. Carpe diem. That's Latin. Yeah, take Latin and fresh. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Seize the day. Seize the power of the moment. Seize the present moment cuz that's the gift. To be able to make a choice in which you know what to keep close, which you know what to reject, and to do it with your utmost truth and energy and power and authenticity. Cuz nothing in the world will be will would be will be as powerful as you learning about your own spiritual and emotional energy, which is the God that flows through you. The God you're all looking for is not in heaven, is not in Earth, is not in shul, is not in Yeshiva, is not in base medrish. The God you're all looking for is not in any book. The God you're all searching for, especially you, is the God that's flowing through your arteries, your bones, your muscles, your tissue, your molecules, your atoms, your cells, the 86 billion neurons in your brain, and the 70 trillion cells in your organism. That's what you're looking for. You're looking for your own energy. The books, the shul, the base medrish, the Yeshiva can help you find that, but they're all only going to help you find that. Until you find that, you're going to be looking for God in all the wrong places. The only place he is inside of you. He's also everywhere else, but the first place he's inside of you, inside of me. And once you feel that, you don't need validation from anybody in the world. May [snorts] you be able to search for that and find that everybody in your own way, and it should be with tremendous hatzlacha in everything. Thank you for the visit. 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