Cholentface: the Crown Heights Pogrom

I'm from Montreal my wife was very nervous about me traveling to Crown Heights considering all the recent violence that was going on over here over the past few months but then we found that Tishrei is over and the Tzfatim are going back to Israel but you know the real violence in Crown Heights is the Oholei Torah kids, right? Oholei Torah! Chai! but seriously, it's like my Tatty is going to beat up your Bubby oh yeah?? well my Tatty has diabetes as a kid growing up I was terrified of the Crown Heights kids I was so scared they were tough like as tough as a Sfardi Golem eating a shor muad in a graveyard they were tough because they went through the '91 pogrom in Crown Heights and let's call it what it was, a pogrom kishen tuchis, Al Sharpton and the kids, you could never top their stories these Crown Heights kids I'd be like hi, I like this bag of bamba oh yeah??? well I like two bags of bamba because you never know when you're next going to be able to buy food whoa you know, I once saw a hatzoloh member help a girl who got hit by a snowball oh yeah????? well I saw 30 goyim beat a yeshiva bochur to death with the iron bars from my bedroom window you wanna learn some mishnayos baal peh? I already know one perek oh yeah???? well when I was hiding in the washing machine with my sister for two days I learned the entire sefer tehillim baal peh the media at the time they didn't call it a pogrom they called it the riots as if the Lubavitchers were involved in all the violence come on the only time a Lubavitcher gets violent is if you bring egg matzos to a moshiach seudah