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Levi Goldstein: the Viznitz Mikva

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Frumprov Frum Comedy

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The Lubavitchers will be in charge of Moshiach. The Sfardim will be in charge of cooking and all the food for everybody. But the Mikva in the Beis Hamikdash is gonna be done by Viznitz. OH YES!! Let me tell you something If you haven't been to the Viznitz Mikva in Monsey you have to go there once before you die. It's an experience. It's amazing. They should have like tour buses to experience the full experience of the Viznitz Mikva. They know how to do Mikva. You come in there... You know how in our Mikva there's one turnstile... They have like TEN! And these machines are amazing, you put in a $10 bill and dollars of change come out. I've never seen something like that anywhere. You go in and it's marble. Everything is marble. It's huge. They've got like 10 Bors (pools). Each Bor a different temperature than the other. A handicapped Mikva! You go in, there's like shelves & shelves of towels it's amazing! And you expect there to be music like (angelic singing) Except it's Viznitz so it's (Chassidic dancing) You grab a towel and (dancing continues) They've got rows & rows of places where you can hang your clothhing and each hanger has a number there are thousands of them and there's a number on each hanger you come in, you don't know where you put it 734, I know exactly where I am, there it is... The showers are so powerful they rip the skin off your back You go fold your skin up after the shower... Okay, I come out and I'm like Oh, there's nobody in this Bor. This is nice... (screaming in pain) There's a reason nobody's in here Now I kid you not every Mikva has two lanes. Arain. Arois. and there's a sign above the lane in green, Arain and in red, Arois. If you go into the wrong lane An alarm goes on Three Chassidim (Chassidic dancing) By mistake I went in I went into the wrong lane by mistake I was banned. Now I have to use only the handicapped Mikva. [email protected]