Levi Goldstein: Yom Kippur

You finally make it, and you get to Shul and you light the candles, and you sit down... Ahhhh, you made the flight it's like when you make the flight and you're sitting in your chair you're sitting in your chair in the airplane... ahhhhh... Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Air Canada flight 35 with nonstop service to Kol Nidreeeeeeiiiii I don't care. I made the flight. Say whatever you wanna say... Then, there's a new problem. You're standing there and you've got the whole garb you've got the Kapoteh the Kapoteh and you've got the Kittel you've got the Gartel and you've got the Tallis you're all into it but there's only one problem. You're pulling, cuz you ate so much This is how you come to G-d on Yom Kippur the holiest day of the year... Let me tell you something. When a guy takes off especially at this time his garb in Shul it's like you're getting up there to make an announcement. HELLO EVERYBODY, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM!!! and somehow it's clear I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM THANK YOU EVERYBODY!! And the whole thing, you need to move take it off Gut Yontiff, Gut Yontiff... and now they're already up to the next part. Al Daas Hamakom... and you're trying to get through it... Ve'al daas hakahol... I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN!!!! I heard that if you go to the bathroom a lot during Neilah it's a Segulah for Parnassah.