Heart Over Logic

I want to What I want to do What I want to do today I want to do Leo with a mash. What I want to do today I was like last night to travel into New York and hear it sad dick. I was like to hear a very very special unit sad dick speak. And I want to share with the camera. I told some of the guys what he said. I want to I want to say it the way I hear it it's hard. I can't I can't um I can't promise this I can't say for sure I'm going to give it the way I understood it. In general it's interesting when you share from rebellion it's your perspective of what your Rebbi said. That's all you could do. You heard it. You give over your perspective. I went to my Rebbi. I went to my Rebbi and I asked him there are three swarm that I have seen that probably more but there are three swarm from my Rebbi that are based on his Tyra and they're very different. And I asked I said Rebbi the three swarm of your Tyra like who are you really? That's what I asked my Rebbi like who Who is the true one? Like who is you? Three people sitting listening to my Rebbi have three perspectives. When I went to be Manachem over my Rebbi his kids were having arguments about things in a in beautiful ways. Beautiful close brothers and they were arguing about things from their father. And it was very clear that there were many ways of understanding and each one it shines through them. It's interesting in the world in our world of Hasidus the Maggid had many big talmidim. The Maggid was the main disciple. It's a complicated story cuz he wasn't by the Bal Shem for so long but the Maggid spread the Tyra of the Bal Shem. And the Maggid had giant talmidim like giant. The Maggid's talmidim, the Heichal Beis Midrash was like one of the great battei midrashim in Klal Yisrael in the last many hundreds of years. The Beis Midrash of the Maggid was wild. In the Beis Midrash of the Maggid, you had the Noam Elimelech, you had the Bardichever Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, you had you had Reb Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the Baal HaTanya. He was the youngest talmid yet. You had a lot of talmidim, like big lights, who were in the Beis Midrash of the Maggid. And each one had their own nusach, their own their own way. The Chozeh of Lublin, they were big talmidim there, and each one had their own way they absorbed from the great tzaddik Rebbi, and that's a very normal thing. It's a very normal thing. A big person and the many aspects of his light, and different talmidim pick up different things. So, I asked my Rebbi, "It's so interesting. You have three talmidim writing your Torah very different. Who was you?" He told me, my Rebbi says, "Interesting." He said, "I changed." So, one was this year, one was this one this year. Now, whenever somebody changes, by the way, so the early tal- the Torah was perfect then. The talmidim heard exactly what they were supposed to hear. So, you're like, "Shucks, I was by It's not like that at all. That was exactly I learned this from the Rebbe That was exactly what the talmid needed to hear." It's like, "If you change, Rebbi, did I get the right ears?" The answer is, "Right when I was by you." Everything's from Hashem. Hashem sets things up. We hear what we're supposed to hear. So, it's interesting, Yankel, he said that it was different years in my life. I don't know why he needed that. And I wanted him to say I was hoping, but you don't Your Rebbi doesn't My Rebbi didn't say what I wanted him to say. I thought he would say that different talmidim reflect the light differently. I thought he would say that. He didn't say that. He said different years. I do want to express any rebbe, somebody learns by your rebbe. I hope he's a growing person. So, if you got him at 30, you're not going to hear what you got him at 40. People grow a lot. People grow a lot. Yeah. I want to I want to I want to express I want and people growing a lot, Reb Ezriel, I want to express something that's I want to express something that's very important to me. My I want you to hear this. I was talking to my daughter last night about this going in. There's people could have a very cynical view of people don't change. My daughter and I were talking. Did you ever see somebody little kid from zero to 10? From birth to 10 years old. I have a 10-year-old son. How much change was in that decade? It's crazy. To think about the baby to a 10-year-old. He's intelligent, thinking. Say crazy. 10 to 20, how much change? Crazy. From 10 to a 20-year-old, crazy. I I want to say people are cynical and cynicism is shucker. I think from 20 to 30 is just as nuts from zero to 10. I think 30 to 40, 40 to 50. Cynics say all these years, I'm back I'm I'm thinking a lot about my year chever. Back to Elul, I'm thinking about the year. You know, we change a lot a lot. The cynic says, "Ugh, look well every year I clap in the same guy." I see people grow crazy. I see in my kids. I see in other people. I'm not cynical. Somebody shook the lulav, ate matzah, had a Chanukah. People create change like nuts. I don't want to make it without trying. So, why am I trying? You're doing mitzvahs. You're You're doing mitzvahs with simcha. People change like I really I I I really hold of Yiddishkeit, my friends. A guy fasted Tisha B'Av. A guy mamash he he ate matzah he ate afikoman. People change like nuts. I think from And And any cynicism in this Nobody changes What What do you Do you see people? I The people in my life I see people in my shul. Look around at our shul, Reb Ezzy. The shofar crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. Crazy. Mamash crazy in 10 years. I don't like the cynicism. You do You listen to the shofar for 10 years of shofar a guy's the same. What world do you look I think very superficial people tend to say nobody changes. They don't have a pnimiyus. Yeah, it's different. You have to be more sophisticated to notice sophisticated change. From zero to 10 even an unsophisticated person could see the change. 20 to A Yid blew shofar 10 years. You know, it's not like he he works If you're very If you're a little superficial, you have to like prove to people. So you have to like show something crazy. So the guy has to do do something nuts. I actually believe in mitzvahs. I believe in in in tefillah. Guy said a few prayers over the 10 years. If he he's the same guy. He was worried about something and spoke to Hashem about a worry. These are huge experiences that are life-changing. So I want to express there's no cynicism. When my rebbe describes their three s'varim, they're all different. He says I was a different age. Of course, in 10 years he grew crazy. So the shofar won't be the same. If anybody said over our light, I see friends. Johnny and I very close friends. 10 years ago to now, it's a different person. There's no There's no He could see it on me. I could see it on him. It's varm shultem. It's not a People Cuz mitzvahs mean something. Cuz we both heard the shofar 10 times. What do you How's it going to be the same? It's not not it It's not just not emes. So, I want to say I don't have a cynicism. People come back. You're going to bang again this Bang again. I'm I had another year. I What do you mean? I said the Ashamnus. I heard the shofar again. And you see Yidden people get very big. I I watch friends. I see my own family, my relatives. Yidden did a year of mitzvahs. The I I I have no cynicism to it. None. And you watch around the room. Some There's a certain type of like mussar people give. Okay, and how you going to do it better this I added the s'chachman growth. There is. But I really believe in mitzvahs. It's not always what you think this Now, a guy could say him this is real. That I'm upset. And this is very real. The Baal HaTanya talks about this. We grow like crazy, but certain challenges are still here. And that's That's actually deeper than the challenge. When you have the challenge deeper than the challenge, a more sophisticated person, you know the ikker challenge Yidden are. Is he gets you to believe you've got nowhere. I'm still struggling with this. I've seen this a lot. I've seen this a lot. I'm still struggling with this. I want to say over This is not what I want to talk about. It's funny. I'm like trying to say a word from from a tzaddik that I heard speak last night. Be a chiyuv. This is taking over my mind. So, kacha. There's a There's a discussion Reb Yochanan and Reish Lakish in Shas. I find it one of the most fascinating discussions I've ever heard in my life. >> [snorts] >> It's so cool, cuz this is every Yid in the world I ever met has this discussion and this grapple. It's so It's amazing that Reb Yochanan and Reish Lakish, this beautiful kasha. The story Chazal teach us is Reish Lakish was a bandit. Resh Lakish was a bandit. Rabbi Yochanan, the great the great Amora from the greatest of the Amoraim, Rabbi Yochanan from the greats of the Amoraim, and Rabbi Yochanan was extremely good-looking. He was a fabulously good-looking person, and he was bathing he was bathing in the water, and he was a very good-looking person. It's interesting, good looks a big sugia, it's a sugia. It's a sugia. Somebody has good looks a big zach. Chazal don't point out Rabbi Yochanan's good looking. It's a big thing. It's a big thing on a person. The physical match the physical expresses something very spiritual. It's a big zach, he's good-looking. And Rabbi Yochanan was a good-looking person expressing an order or seder of ruchni, expressing something very deep spiritually. Resh Lakish sees Rabbi Yochanan, thinks he's an isha, so good-looking he's swimming, he thinks it's an isha. He jumps into the water for taiva, he jumps in the water. It turns out it's Rabbi Yochanan. Rabbi Yochanan says you're an amazing person. He's blown away by him. So interesting, Resh Lakish is busy chasing taiva. While he's chasing taiva, Resh Rabbi Yochanan's amazed by him. Gemara is not like a cute like a good kiyuv like trick to say. I prom- Gemara is emes. Every word is emes. They're no tricks, they're no A Yid called me up to he meant we He He said about a struggle of a son, "You're good at this thing. Like Like what's the thing to say? Can you give me the line? Can I text him Rabbi Yochanan's line? Maybe he'll try that." But neshamos are big things. Neshamos are big things. People are big, no lines. And Rabbi Yochanan sees Resh Lakish chasing taiva, and he's like amazed by him. Says cheilacha Resh Lakish, your strength for taiva, who you are for taiva, you're like you're built for Torah. He says to him, you're built for Torah. It's an amazing thing. He sees him as Shlakish, you're made for Torah. You were born to learn. I see you, you got it. So, he sees him in in my Shlakish. My Shlakish when somebody sees him built for Torah, my Shlakish himself, Rebbe Yochanan says he reads him a shidduch on the spot. He says, I have a sister, mamesh, I'll read you my sister right now. And of course, my Shlakish becomes the great Amora and becomes the Talmud Chaver, a student and a friend of Rebbe Yochanan. And all over Shas, their conversations and machlokes and Rebbe Yochanan and my Shlakish. And and my Shlakish becomes the Amora my Shlakish that we have. My Shlakish and Rebbe Yochanan, two great Amoraim. My Shlakish and Rebbe Yochanan have a conversation about knives. They have some machlokes about the about a knife. And Rebbe Yochanan says to my Shlakish, you were once a bandit, you would know about knives. And my Shlakish is insulted. And my Shlakish says, I used to be a bandit, I'm still called a bandit. What do all my learning help? It hits my Shlakish. And my Shlakish says that that I'm still a bandit. He says to Rebbe Yochanan, now Rebbe Yochanan feels badly. What, didn't all the learning help? Do you look at yourself? And they both have like a chalishus that the Gemara describes. My Shlakish's chalishus, that what do all my shteiging help? And Rebbe Yochanan, what do your shteiging help? You you tzushtellen to that? And really, all to me, this is a voice in us all. A guy could shteig like crazy, but he still has some the sayin, and he's convinced, look, I'm still struggling with that. Now, here you're struggling, there's an sayin There's a real zach. What did I stay? You heard 10 times the shofar. What are you talking about? You gave stock. You're a big person. You're a big mensch. And the Sahara tries to get a person to ignore the greatness. This is not This is not like cute tire like positive spin. It's the MS of This is the darkness of the Sahara. He tries to block a year from appreciating what is so worth. The MS speaks a lot about this. This is a lot of tire of the MS. He writes about people leave war. Doesn't say they have a verse. Says they live in fear of their verse. Their verse make them lose sight of their soul. The MS The MS writes. And a person not being in touch not being in touch with their own summer with their own greatness with their own with their own what mean what the they do. That's a big That's a big vice of the big of the a big want of the that he wants that type of thing. Not to see the advances. Now, a person says but I'm still struggling with this. I hear I hear the speaks about this that there's a a sham's having he's fighting something and it's difficult to then say like I didn't grow at all. gets upset at for saying that. But expresses that I used to be called a bandit and I'm still called a bandit. It looks like I'm the same person in some I have a sense of not having moved. And describes you're a world different. You have still have an assignment. There's still something. There's still something that's touching that place. Okay. That's a truth. It's like struggling a person that we've advanced my addict. We we we've done a year of mix with we've advanced. How could you call guy what type of a Mona do you have in mix with in the national man to say and it's and anybody with eyes that it's not the how do you say the year it's the same year he shook the little of this year. You don't believe in maximum. Zika Zika Zika anybody person did tire and mix with what are you talking? The year did mix up what are you saying? Same person what are you talking? You have no one when he sat at a seder. I don't get it. He said the guy sat at a seder he was he kept Shabbos kind of you know. Parents is maybe you don't have day and I am to say I don't need such a name a year 10 years with Shabbos you don't understand mix with check out the show mix with give good real. Now if you're expressing that there's a beginner that's something in the person which lucky expresses this also I used to be called and I'm so called I'm grappling with something. I hear that's a struggle that's a struggle. So my Rabbi told me my Rabbi told me that the three swaram that are very different is it's different years. I'm a different person. So somebody wrote a safer at a different school of course it's going to look different. That's my Rabbi told me. So all this I was just expressing that I want to give over to you from a addict. I was saying it's this year this year was sitting there and I'm giving the way I understood it. But I do want to share with the what this sadic said because it left an impression on me and I feel I want to share with the there are times that you should hold tire for a long time and not share so fast. I want to say that make a test you heard maybe I should wait 35 years. There are times you should wait 30 40 years to share things. It's very tricky thing when you share tire you heard when you don't. Very tricky Sugya. There's a contradiction in Psukim if you're supposed to share Torah you heard or not. It's a Sugya in Psukim back to back in Mishlei. One Pasuk says, "Yefutzu Mayonosecha Chutzah." Send out your Torah. And there's another Pasuk that says, "Yilchazu Badach." Keep it for yourself. It's yours, keep it for yourself. And it's a contradiction in Psukim when you share Torah when you're not. It's a Sugya. When do you say this? And sometimes if you overshare you lose something you had precious. That's how De'ag will hear Torah don't want to share it so fast. Other times it's it's it's it makes sense to share. So why am I sharing this? I heard this last night. Maybe hold on to it for a few years. I want to express the reason I'm sharing this. I've been speaking a lot about Elul. I want the chevreh here. I want my kids that Elul should be like precious. It's a I want you to hear the words Elul and like mean something. Elul beautiful time. It's a very beautiful month. It's a I had the joy I had. My daughter told me we traveled together to New York and she told me she didn't I don't know if she knew I was I've been that I'm talking like this. She told me how much Elul means to her and I had a tremendous simcha. It's been a dream for a couple of years. I want Elul to be like beautiful. I want Yechiel to sit with his mishpacha that all like a certain freilich type of Elul. Bemas. The Emes Emes. Elul is very special, beautiful. We have we have now less than a week of Elul. It's very beautiful. Elul's a time a Yid remembers who he is. He remembers his own godliness, his own neshama that Hashem gave him. He resets back to his essence. Elul. Elul's a month of tremendous kirvas Hashem. A Yid is shayach to Hashem, is shayach to ruchniyus. Again, I you know, sometimes as the yetzer hara the things, there's a lot of like things being said that scare people. It's not It's not what Elul is a beautiful. I don't want my children to like be uplifted by the word Elul. Very important to me. And I The reason I'm sharing this is cuz this kid spoke. And when he spoke, we were like pulled in the whole seber like felt Elul. In a beautiful way. So, I want to share what he said about Elul with you. And I sharing it quickly because on the theme of like Elul meaning something Yechiel and being beautiful. Rosh Hashanah in Yeshiva, I want you here Yechiel. Shana alef pesach, I'm going to beg you to stay. Rosh Hashanah here is like nifla's. It's gorgeous. It's a very beautiful thing. I want to describe a little Elul. I want to describe what what the what the Rebbe what the tzaddik said last night. If everybody could hear this, let me describe Elul the way I'm understanding what he said. One of the things that Elul stands for, he brought from Seforim, is a story with Rus and with Naomi. I'm going to say over the whole story, Avi. I'm going to say over I want guys to hear if you know the story. I'm saying over the whole story anyway. I want to say over the story might hit. And one of the things Elul stands for is a line that Rus says to Naomi. Now, I'm going to read you the line. And Elul, the word aleph lamed vav lamed, I want everybody to hear this. Yechiel Mechi, I want you to hear this. Elul stands for when Rus said I'm going to say over the whole story, But Rus says to Naomi, she says a line, "Vateche im sametes laleches." Naomi, we're going to talk who Naomi is. Naomi sees that Rus is reluctant to leave. She's misametes. She made effort, massive effort to go along with Naomi "Vateche im davrim." Now, the letters is Elul. Lamed aleph vav lamed is I see as Elul. She made effort to go along and Naomi stops convincing and that's I see as Elul. Let me Let me talk about this like this. You feel like this. There was a big tzaddik in our people. His name was Elimelech. He was a very very big tzaddik. He was a unique tzaddik. He was very rich. We've had tzaddikim who were rich and poor. Elimelech was one of the richest Jews in Am Yisrael. Very close to Hashem. Thank you so much. Very close to Hashem. A big tzaddik and very fabulously wealthy And he was a big supporter of Klal Yisrael. A huge leader of Am Yisrael. A tzaddik and a rich person. He was so he called two tables. Not everybody is We've had tzaddikim and gedolim who were very rich. There've been other tzaddikim who are very wealthy. Elimelech was a rich tzaddik. Klal Yisrael was going through crazy difficult times. And Elimelech made a decision that to the people of Beit Lechem to his community was very very upsetting to the community. Hashem judged him more for doing this. Now, I want to understand he was a huge tzaddik. I promise you it's very subtle his sin. The external thing is he booked out on Klal Yisrael. He left. Now, Klal Yisrael needed this man. We were going through physically a famine, a hunger. He was rich. Spiritually it was very difficult times in our nation and the tzaddik left. He moved to outskirts of Mayaf out Eretz Yisrael. His cheshbonos were very, very big. It was very subtle sin. Most of his cheshbonos, he cared about Klal Yisrael. I'm sure he felt he didn't want to be impacted. If people are doing aveiros and people are doing bad things, he felt if he would stay inside that it would impact Klal Yisrael more. He had lofty thoughts also. But Hashem judged him. Tzaddikim are judged very carefully, and there was element of betrayal to Klal Yisrael. An element, a dark night at dark as. And Elimelech moves with his wife and children. He has two beautiful sons, and they move away from Am Yisrael. In a move that he thought to some degree was helping Klal Yisrael, but le ma'aseh, he was somebody who was needed. Elimelech moves away. He moves Elimelech, his wife Naomi, and his two sons. And they move. Moab was a big enemy of our people, but they move to the outskirts of Moab. His two sons marry two girls. You can imagine this family, they were princes in Klal Yisrael, tzaddikim. The two sons were giants, and they marry two girls. It's a big discussion in the Rishonim. Pashtus, they both were meguyar. Pashtus, these two girls are meguyar, they become giyores, and they're both from very prestigious goyishe families, and they marry his Elimelech's two sons. Le ma'aseh, le ma'aseh, Elimelech and his sons were punished by Hashem, and they were niftar. They They were niftar. They're in Olam Haba with rewards for all their tzidkus, but they were niftar. They booked out on Klal Yisrael, and they were niftar. And Naomi is now left alone with her two daughter-in-laws. And Naomi decides she's going back to Bethlehem. Now, if you can picture, she had once been the royalty of the Jewish people. And people saw her as a betrayer. She had booked out. She was coming back remarkably humbled. And the people there were not like, "Naomi, hello." It was so There was Now, we're Yidden, we're a very beautiful, forgiving people. But she was not coming back full of honor. Her two daughters-in-law, she has two daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, two daughters-in-law. And they had lived with this prestigious family. They had tasted truth. You're living with Elimelech, with Naomi, with their sons. They had tasted Shabbos and Yom Tov and Yiddishkeit. They had seen beauty the likes of which they had never seen in their life. But now they're going to come back to Eretz Yisrael, what is the chance these two girls are getting a shidduch? They're both not in a family that's very appreciated. They're both coming from a people Moav that's that's a thorn, that's an enemy of Eretz Yisrael. So, Orpah says, one daughter-in-law, "I'm going back to my people." She actually went back to Avodah Zarah. Says she went back to her god, she went back to her people. She books out. And Ruth Ruth says to Naomi, "That I'm not leaving you." Ruth says to Naomi, "I'm coming back to Eretz Yisrael." Naomi says to Ruth, "Shuva Yevimtech Amo. Behold, your your your Yibbum, the other girl married to my son, returned back to her nation. Shuvi Acharei Yevimtech. You should go back, too. You come from royalty. Where you are, you're treated like a million bucks. You're from a huge family. Go home. Go home. It makes sense to go back home. Go back home. She speaks very, very logically. And coming with me, it's like you you I don't know what's going to be. They were they were poor beyond beyond beyond. Remember, they end up collecting leket. Where I need him, you have zero prospect to getting a shidduch. You're not a n'giya. Getting a shidduch, you have like no prospects. The logical thing is go back to your country. Just go back. Go home. And there you'll have money. You'll live. You're not going to survive. I don't know if you'll live a night with me. I don't know if we're going to survive. But Taimerus, and Rus says, "Al tifkoli, don't fight me, Losovich. Don't push me to leave, loshimakh rekh to leave you. I'm not leaving. I saw emes. I believe in I see a light. I'm living you. I tasted shabbos. I tasted yom tov. I swear I'm not leaving you. Don't fight me. Al tifkoli Losovich, don't make me leave. Ki asher telkhi elikh, where you go, I'm going. Va'asher talini olen, where you sleep, I know you might sleep on a park bench, I'll sleep on a park bench. I know there might be no home for you. You're penniless, and nobody wants you. You were the betrayer. Where you sleep, I'll sleep. I'll sleep on a park bench next to you. Where you get to rest your head there, I'll rest my head, too. Ameikh ami, your people is my people. V'elakaiyikh elakaiy, and your God is my God. Va'asher tamusi amus, where you die, so will I die. Dishama kaver, and there I'll be buried. Ki amoves yafred beini u'veinkh, only death is going to do us apart. Nothing else will separate us. And Naomi sees she's being stubborn. She's coming along. That she stops negotiating. And those words those words begin with the icy solo. Those words where it says that that he must have met to see she sees that she's making effort. The to go along. She's going. She's staying. That she stops speaking. The eater but the dubber is icy solo. Said the sad class night that the intellect all our lives tells us things like who you fooling. What are you trying to do? It will never be different. Really? The intellect Naomi speaking from a place of intellect. But he said last night and he quoted he read a piece from the Bala Tanya. For anybody who knows Tanya the whole Tanya speaks about empowering the mind over the heart. Don't give in to whims. And the mind's more powerful than the heart. And the whole Tanya is being in dust people of the intellect. The Bala Tanya was alone of the yard. He was known in the town meeting of the market. They called him the Litvak. He was from Lithuania and he was called the Litvak cuz he's so into like intellect. And he was called like the Litvak. That's what he was called amongst the town meeting of the market. And the Tanya speaks about the brain controlling the heart. The word is the Maya before the leave. Maya before the leave. And every person our heart has whims and desires and you feel there's a part of the brain being in control. But he read from the Bala Tanya himself that the two places of the lave. He called it lave chitzoni and lave p'nimi. He said lave chitzoni, the brain is supposed to rule over whims. Guy wants this, want make sure your brain's in charge. Your brain's He said though there's a lave p'nimi that's higher than the mayach. It's called a neshama if you want. It's actually we say in Elul l'cha amar libi, representing Hashem, my heart says bakshu panai. There's a deep place in the lave that's stronger than here. The place in the lave exists in every yid where a yid says I want Hashem. Think about Ruth. Naomi is a voice of reason. Naomi is a normal voice of reason. Ruth, go back, you have no future here. Doesn't make sense. It makes no sense for you to go. And Ruth says Naomi, all the logic in the world, I've tasted something, I know something. That's the lave p'nimi. I know something, I know something. I I once told the guys I once told the guys a bochur came to visit me. I want to broadcast what was happening. David, I want you to hear this Dave. A guy once came to visit me in Sula, I'm a water berry guy. He's been through a lot in his life. And he told me he's a very artistic guy. And he told me there was a whole weekend for artists that was a dream of his for a long time to go. And every logic is he should have gone to that. By logic it made sense to go. He wanted it, it's his dream, it's his it's it's it's what he was looking for, it's everything he dreamed of. And he pointed to me, he said I'll I'll never you talk about hand motions. As much as I'll never forget the skull and I going like this, I don't think till I'm 120 I'll forget. The guy said to me, he came to Sulam and he didn't go to that place for Shabbos. He had a a place that was not a good place for a Yid to be, but by all logic he should have gone there for Shabbos. By all [clears throat] logic, what he likes, what he's into, what he's been through, I promise logically he should have gone there. Logically, what what are you doing? He points to me. He goes like this. He points to his here. I like that he didn't point here. He didn't go I promise I could picture you when like this. He started crying. He said, "I'm not meant for that." I promise the guy said, "I'm here, Rebbe. I'm not meant for that." He went like he pointed. "I'm not meant." He was saying I tasted MS and illogically there's something I know, there's something I believe, there's something I want. It's like illogical. It's the heart of a Yid, it's the soul of a Yid, it's the neshama of a Yid. It's deep deep in a Yid. It's not a svara, it's not a It's not like, "Well, if you go with svara the guy might have many reasons." He's He's been through a lot. Logically I can hear him rebelling. He's been hurt, he's been What do you want from me? Logically you couldn't argue him, but he said, "I'm not built for this." He said what Rus said. Rus says to Naomi, "You're telling me go back. You have no future, you have no shidduch. You're saying good things logically." You're mamish saying, "I hear." And I have every excuse, right, reason, true. True. I'll I'll meet a young guy in yeshiva who will describe his life by words of logic like he's angry, he's this What What What What gives? What is it? He's like running after Hashem. And the answer is l'chum alibi. Deeper than the mind, much deeper there's a neshama in a person. And the the Chabad who's so into mayach over lev describes that there's a deep place in the sham pnimi he calls it a lave pnimi an inner heart that's deeper than the mayor. And the lave pnimi of the person says the deep space says I'm born for something big. Ross says I've tasted something I'm aware of something. I I taste I've seen and heard all the logic in the world and when a person taps in that space with other the logic stops stops trying to convince otherwise I know something I experience something there's something I want there's something I'm interested. I want to say this I want to say this and I'm not here you guys are all in Waterbury. I have seen guys get to Waterbury and like this one said you can't you won't people gave logical reasons and what often works is a guy points to his lave says in a deep way I know the parents what are you talking what are you saying what and the guy says it's a deep place in the sham I know I need something I want something. I know it's possible to really experience something. How many people sitting in in places of in places of in places where they feel disconnected to prayer to tire and inside illogically knows that I really could be connected to tire. Now I'm not blaming any person and a person sitting in years of lectures a guy says I can't connect to tire but there's a logically he may have a logical thing I don't even I sat for years this class but the lave the sham knows something I'm shy to tire. And I won't quit trying to actually connect and learn in a way that it means something to me that I would die I give up my life for this. That's a deep space in the lave that knows there's MS out there. This is my mission the time of Elul to plug into the deep space, to try to get in touch with that deep space in us that knows it's not cute, I'm really a neshama. I really have a big light to shine. I really want big things and I'm shiyach to big things. A lot of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and aseres yemei teshuvah is people plugging into a deep space that I was built for very I was built for special things. And there's a part of me against all odds that's aware of that. That was this subject, the Elul he was talking about the very word Elul. This this this nekudah of Russ who tasted something true, who felt something true, and because of that experience says all the logic of the world. All this far is okay, move weiter. I I I once went I went to a rehab in Florida, and I I was zocheh to meet with 50 Yidden who've been through a lot. And one of the Yidden they were all saying over their story. They were saying over their story, and one of the Yidden described what he went through. Harrowing life. And he described by all logic, by all svara, he should like quit. By all svara, he should just go just just party, just get like what what? It doesn't make sense that I still try, and he was right. And he said there's a deep space in me, I can't. I can't quit it, I can't. He was talking about his neshama l'cha amar libi. L'cha means representing Hashem amar libi, Dovid Hamelech whose levavah is levavam, who feels Am Yisrael, says l'cha amar libi. L'cha representing Hashem amar libi, my heart says bakshu panai, seek me, seek Hashem. And as panacha Hashem Avakesh, and like against all logic, I go with the deepest place in my heart that says, "You know what's true. You know what you want. You know what you're interested. I need to find it. I need to find it. I need to connect to it. I need it, but I know it exists. I refuse to just like give up on that." That's like defining of a Yid. We say this in Elul. Rabbi sings it. That deep space, again, the words are representing Hashem, "On my libi." It's funny, we're so used to chevre. We're so used to like Sisu L'vadchem, the heart that leads us wrong. That's the Lev Chitzoni as the Baal Hatanya calls it. There's a deep space in the heart that David Hamelech speaks about that the Yid Elul tries to get in touch with. A very deep space. A bochur just came to my house in front of me and Moishe described us. He was at a very difficult moment in his life. He said for the first time in his life he went to his room and he cried to Hashem. It was amazing. We both He told me and Moishe it was like It was like holy shabbos holy. In that very moment he cried, he said he hasn't cried in years, and he cried to Hashem. So it was a gift to Hashem to me and Moishe, an Elul gift. The guy Elul. He went to his room and he cried to Hashem. Real. B'emes. B'emes. He found He will never be the same the rest of his life. For any cynic, "Ah, just during Elul, Rosh Hashanah." He's going to be different. I promise in January is going to be different in the middle of the summer. He went to a space Moishe and we were like He was then wanted to say, "Johnny, other things he wanted to tell us." I was like, "Stop right there. Stop there. Let's spend a few years on this. Let's like The guy went to a space inside of himself. He heard the "On my libi." "My heart says representing Hashem bakshu panai seek me. He turned to Hashem and he felt it deep inside of him. We could taste it inside of us. We know what emes is. We know what emes is. And we could taste that place of emes. If I had a little Yechiel describe what we're trying to do and what we're trying to be in Waterbury, we've taken away a lot of pressures and fights. I want I beg parents instead of battling our kids, stop the fight a little bit. Step back. How cool is it if our kids see something and like, you know that kids in Waterbury asked their dad, "Could I learn Torah with you?" And he wants to learn Torah with his tata. "Can I learn with you? Can we learn a little bit?" If you take away a lot of battles and struggles, people actually can have a little bit of air and space to hear what their insides are saying. WHAT'S GOING TO BE? YOU'RE GIVING SPACE. YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING. YOU'RE not protecting. You're not battling. You're not What's going to be is this actually going to be a little bit of calm that he could hear a voice inside of him. Licha al my libi. You know what our hearts the heart of every you deeply says? Bakshu panai seek Hashem. Deeply, deeply, deeply. If you actually give it a little space to feel and hear, if you tell a guy don't trust yourself and you everything is built you're not trustable, you're danger, you're an animal, you're uh-oh, what's going to be? Then there's no patience and time and space to hear what what my inside I like that people have space. And maybe we'll take a week, a month, a year, or 10. And the person will hear what is inside saying. You know what my inside says? The same thing your inside says. Licha al my libi. Representing Hashem my life says bakshu panai seek Hashem. You know, we do that as a we seek Hashem. When we hear that voice, all the voices of reason stop talking then. Everything else not the other is not it off when you hear when you hear when you know when you know all the other words that's my mission. Naomi is a voice of reason to us. That's her task. That's her task. Yeah, we're back home. We made it back. It says that when Naomi says when Ruth says to Naomi, Naomi's trying to convince Ruth logically it's time to go back. When Ruth expresses that I've tasted something, I felt something, I've experienced something, no logic's going to I I know something so that she stops speaking. Yeah, she stops speaking. All the wisdom stops because she's experienced she knows something. She knows I know something. I feel so there's something I experienced you're not going to handle you're not going to talk and a lot of our own get get beaten when we when we enter that space where I know something, I've tasted something, I felt something, there's a truth I know about. That's like the life of Naomi of a person I'm very very into the life of Naomi of a person. He I don't know if I he and she this said that a girl comes to him that she's going out with a guy and all the boxes checked. She says I just don't feel it and she says I know all the music. Okay, he said I know all the music I can give it as good as anybody. He said what she's really saying is my inner says I'm capable this is not my husband. Said it's a life of Naomi. She's feeling says not my husband and he said don't give in it's not your husband. People tell you what are you doing and just make it work, but she's saying something. It's a live pnimi. Said she's hitting something that's stronger than the mind. It's a live pnimi. I'm very into the live pnimi. I'm I I I'm into this. I call it God in Yeshiva. I call it God. It's just a cute way of saying neshama. I think there are things that we know and sense and connect to. It's a chiddish. We really have a neshama and we know some stuff. The neshama knows Hashem, knows that we have a shaychus to Hashem, knows that we have a beautiful light and we'll never let go of that.