Find the Good, Change the Relationship - Rabbi Avi Wiesenfeld

says, "The most effective tool to transform a person is to search until you find the nakuda toyva, the good point in that person, and focus intently on revealing that goodness within him." Some time ago, one of the rebbeim in my yeshiva came to me clearly frustrated. There was a boy in his shiur he just couldn't connect with. Honestly, he didn't like him. I said, "Do me a favor. Give me 2 weeks. Every day, find one good thing about this boy. Just one. Focus on it. Hold on to it. And then, come back to me." People don't become who we tell them to be. They become who we see them as.