How Can We Make Our Marriage Work? - Rabbi Yitzchak Yisraeli

[Music] that's a shame people are asking for a tip for Shalom bite what can be a key for Shalom bite so I'll tell you the truth I was thinking what can be the best the best tip for Shalom bite its to understand that Shalom buy doesn't come automatically Shalom bite it's not something we should expect to be there automatically I think the main cause of divorce is when a couple getting to know each other before they married before the getting married each one gives his best the best of himself the best show he can it's not real life it's not reality and after the getting married before they're getting married and after the Garamendi expecting it to be paradise they they assume they must get along as soon as the first fight comes each one gets in is hard to feelings oh maybe I made a mistake over here could be that's not the right she'd look for me look how we fight now I'm saying that she says the opposite I'm saying black Jesus white I'm saying why is she saying left we assume that it should work and that is the mistake it's not supposed to work a man is a different kind of a creature than a woman and a woman is a different kind of a creature of a man they so not alike they so they think so not alike they understand things so not alike the Phil thinks so not alike it should not work if you see that it works that is a miracle the default is a man and a woman cannot stay and live together and if not for the motive that the same it were created to have children who won't get they will not get along if we wanna understand before we get married if one Shalom to be in our house that means we need to give in and we need we need to forgive and to bend ourselves down to make ourselves a pretzel in order to remote and unite and connect with the spouse it's not gonna work automatically for Shalom bite we need a lot of work and it's not happening automatically because a man is mostly a person of a practical he's a practical person and I give an example when you're in the middle of work in your office and you get a phone call from your wife and she says to you that the the washing machine is making you in the middle of work and you have a hundred other people around you and you're busy and you have no room in your mind even to think about the washing machine now so you tell her what's the first reaction of a regular has been the regular man what do you want for me now it's two o'clock in afternoon I'm animal of the office but what you expect me to do and she goes off this phone call filling he doesn't like me he doesn't love me he doesn't care about me I just presented my problem and he's getting at me what do you want from me wait for that then they called them a plumber what are you what are you bothering me now what's the truth what's behind this phone call why is she calling him telling him whenever of the day did the washing machine is leaking she thinks is a remote control to fix the washing machine from manehattan while she's calling him to Manhattan to tell him to the washing machine is leaking a woman is a is a kind of a person that leads to her her feelings and she wants to share her experience in her feelings with her husband if the washing machine is Nikki it's not just they make in the washing machine but needs to be fixed it's an experience that she's going through they have a Yamaha the washing machine is leaking and now I need to share it with my husband if he's going to pick up the phone and say to her oh I can't believe it how can you manage what are you going to do about it now you know what's going to be her response most likely look at him is making a big deal out of nothing she called him to tell him about the big deal that she's going through is she's almost crying on the phone and soon as I picked up and he says how can you manage how can you handle it heshes already coming up with don't worry about it I'll manage don't worry about it what she needed she needed him just to feel for her to be there for her if we understand that we don't think alike and we don't feel alike and we need to study it this is something that we really need to go into and study it then we'll have a better chance of Salaam bite yell at Sanchi dyscalculia no Shastri not rebel a no violence or ability no I mean via me [Music] you [Applause]