Rabbi David Kaplan - Tisha B'Av: Looking In, Looking Out

thank you when our children pink is has been here so somebody said I think it says leviath in the course of the figures of Lifetime he wanted his son said that he never saw his father open a window to somebody else's clothes never close the window at somebody else would open everybody knows execution was destroyed the second base of English because of it yesterday more than anything else but they're certainly interpersonal relationships that need Improvement and somebody like a Pinterest incus comes along with pink is a cell he was never closed the window somebody else had opened take this people are their unreasonable best when it comes to temperature and the person asks himself do a lot of something I could do and there's a lot of things I would do for other people this has one little example the idea of I'm not comfortable therefore the massive has to change and therefore we all know that when a baby is born a baby only knows one thing a baby when he's born only knows that he exists it's all he knows of everybody around him he doesn't know the people he only knows that he exists he has needs and needs to have to be taken care of right now as a human beings we are definitely I focused we are focused on ourselves from the day we're born some people live their entire lives in that infant state but we are people who are focused on ourselves and obviously when a tissue above comes along is from our golden mentions the reptile mentioned a day when we went to try to draw back ask ourselves where can we improve what is the day about in particular this area of being Adam Le chavero which is the cause of the corbiner of Hirsch says that if we behave in a way that would prevent the hormone of the the rebuilding the base of Magnus then it's as if we have destroyed the base of English so everybody knows the good morning getting that says the Son and Daughter of rabbis they were captured by two Roman Masters and the two men met one day and he said I have a Slave whose beauty is unmatched in the entire world the other one said I have a maidservant whose beauty is unmatched in the entire world so decide let's marry them to each other and we'll divide The Offspring and be able to sell them and make the profits they put them together in a room and he sat in one corner of the room and she sat the other corner of the room foreign a Slave and they were there in the dark room they cried the entire night when it became sunlight he curious as that they recognized each other vanophilus al-za they fell into each other's arms the gold before and they cried until the nishamas left them very touching story the Son and the daughter are in the room and they cried all night I'm gonna marry a Seb an abedemarius and then it's Daybreak no suddenly recognizes you know what she's not a schiffler that's my sister and she sees him it's not an Evidence my brother and they cried and they died why'd they cry what were they crying about sure it's emotion what are they crying about exactly what exactly is there to cry about here so there are two answers to that question the first is I believe that they're crying for themselves there's another Jew in close proximity and to me looks like an evid to me looks like a shift it's another Jew in close proximity I don't even see him and when one day I finally see him I cry because I realize who was nearby it wasn't the person that I thought that's worth crying but not crying for him crying for myself a Jew living close to me and I've judged him a certain way and I look at him a certain way and I may disagree with this shita which is fine if his sheath does Chrome but not the Jew there's a Jew there is a person a human being have refused to come to this house to learn with him comes walking up to the door and he forgot that it was Shabbos he rang the doorbell I was very embarrassed just regular shiva's doorbell nothing happened he waited a couple of minutes he started knocking on the door he knocked and he knocked he knocked for about 10 minutes after 10 minutes comes to the door in his pajamas his eyes are red and blurry opens the door since I'm terribly sorry I was so tired after the Suda I forgot we had a Caruso I got into bed I went to sleep I heard you're knocking at the door so I opened the door after he was lifter his family said he didn't forget he never forget about herusa Fisher don't forget they need water he heard the doorbell ring and as soon as he heard the doorbell ring he realized if I answer that doorbell he's going to be very embarrassed so he got in he'll be embarrassed that I saw he rang adorable on Shabbos he got into his pajamas he went into bed and he pretended to be sleeping until he heard the knacking so you could tell they have Rich that the knacking was what woke him up so we wonder how do we get to a level of ravpinkus how do we get to the level of ski that we realize there are other Jews in our world that we see them before the sunlight we see them right away we're aware that there are other Jews so the Torah says that when Moshe rabbana was appointed please take my brother instead of me he's the older brother he'll be jealous I better get all the covet I'll be the leader coach Brooklyn says the most remaining you're making a mistake over here he will not be jealous he will not be consumed with Kino like you think he will see you and he will rejoice in his heart he will not be jealous it is a reward for our own rejoicing for both your abena's success Aaron has given the quotient that goes over the heart and I saw the Rebecca legolinski points out a reward is proportional to the effort from Sarah Agra the quotient was a precious reward so precious for eternity because he wanted that ocean in spite of everything else that he had their quotient is a significant prominent reward so if doesn't mean he was born good with a good heart sure he had a good heart but he had a work to get to the level of believer it didn't happen by itself that means it's possible to do but what does it hinge on it hinges and virata you have to see the other person there are other people around us is that all about me as we are naturally inclined young lady came to everybody said I have a Shiloh my mother is not observant she was married to an American GI who was stationed in England and the two of them were married with hopen kadushan a proper rub the whole kitten caboodle and then they got divorced they had a secular divorce but they never had a get and then my mother went and married somebody else and I was born from that second Union I became a balas chuva and I'm engaged to Yeshiva Baker my friend said I might have a problem they said I should ask you if there's anything any problem any impediment to me again so she said my mother was married to an American GI station in England they had a proper Club in kadushan it's been verified and then they split up with a regular divorce they did not have a get and she married somebody else and I'm from that second Union information said please come back in 24 hours I want to look into it 24 hours later young lady came back and Masha said to her mazel tov you could marry the booker so zein mcglick said thank you very much you gave her a bracha she walked out tell me that we're in the room said rebe we heard what you heard we heard everything she said she said it twice it's a member hadren we heard every single thing you heard how could that possibly be remember said you're right you heard what I heard but you didn't do what I did in the last 24 hours I had somebody call the United States pentagon and they checked that indeed there was a soldier stationed in England who was married to that woman American GI but simultaneously he was married to a woman in the United States that had two children if that woman would have known that he was a bigamist and he was married to another woman she would have never married him in England it's clearly a Mecca toast there was no marriage this young lady may now remarry so besides the Shiloh itself and we realized what we lost and we lost our Maisha but obviously what's the difference between relation the tal medium okay they didn't have the accessibility but ramesha said it's not over yet and I'm gonna make an effort because there's another person there and their life depends on this and he went the extra mile to call the Pentagon and found out that she's kosher but Yoshi could get married that's what it means that a person we see other people in our life if we see other people in our life that's why they cry the Son and Daughter review they see there's another Jew there he's in the dark who is that person sometimes we don't see them at all we're not even aware there's another Jew there that's the idea that's what we're looking to accomplish with the tishop of to shake us just a little bit and where it says unless he was giving a sheer and in the sheer somebody walked into the room to go where it says and he had eaten garlic he smelled like garlic it was so bad rebby couldn't continue to Shear he said whoever ate the garlic please step out and rebeccia got up and walked out he was not the one who the odor was coming from but he'd get up and he walked out and everybody in the share understood what rebeccia was doing is absorbing the shame and the embarrassment of the real victim of the real culprit so everybody else got up and walked out of the room the next day rabies shim and brevey sought Reby's son Rabbi shim and he said you caused my father Laden Tsar Yesterday by walking out because it caused everybody else to walk out I couldn't stay in their room and allow that man to be embarrassed that talmud to be embarrassed be held that for the sake of the Bittle Torah it's his own fault should not come into sheer eating Garlic if the sheer is now Disturbed it's your own fault IA held even so I can't watch another Jews suffer and he was willing to absorb the shame and the embarrassment of that Jew the concept of seeing somebody else there's somebody in close proximity we see that person and even a Jaime rodriga is a samach Malibu to Rejoice through somebody else's success without any keynote to not feel bad for another person when another person is successful because we've got ourselves we somehow we managed to creep into the picture the gemara says when it talks about somebody who goes to be Miss America says somebody who's missing the message to walk over at him and say she's a magnificent catch Kamara says you know what you got a magnificent catch and you're willing to do it you're willing to go it's as if he had rebuilt one of the jorvas of your shalayim what's a connection what's one thing got to do with the other why is it's as if you rebuilt that's what we want to do right now rebuild one of the four of us use July and what's what they got to do with the other and the answer is that when you go to a Hasta any regular person goes to has to where am I going to sit what are they gonna be serving who am I going to be sitting to and when can I get out of here and the entire approach to the pasta is me what's in here for what's in it for me and somebody goes to a house then your show goes in Miss America the focus is on them and not on me that's exactly where is destroyed a little too much of me Focus the focus is on somebody else without anything being in it for me because as if he's rebuilding one of the photos here shall I many of you may remember and hearing you shall I am a couple years ago when the streets were shut down because of snow there was a Hasta here shall I am the Hassan was able to trudge over to the hasnahal the kala lived in a far neighborhood they had to bring her a hatsala ambulance with snow tires brought the column but what are you gonna do who's gonna come and be missing in the column the guests can't get there they put out word among the local yeshivas and seminaries hundreds of bakrim hundreds of bajarets stormed their wedding hall and I have no doubt that there was one hasta where every single person who was there was there in order to be Miss samay after there was no focus on what are they serving and what's what are they going to be drinking it was the others that rebuilds plural socialite yes when I speak to you I'm speaking to me ask yourself I ask myself when you get an invitation in the mailbox foreign what are the thoughts that go through our mind we have a simha instead of suffering and instead of tragedies there's a cynical announcement in my mailbox and my thought is how much time is this going to cost me and they just made one last year and how much do I have to spend on a gift now there's one word that repeated itself three times me it's not about me when you're safe after all those years of separation sarashi brings down they cried they fell on each other's necks as they cried Taurus says they cried Rashi says Yosef was crying for the bottom be destroyed was crying for Michigan Sheila which will be built in Yosef Skyla could be destroyed the obvious question I'm sure many have asked you cry about your base on big dishes you cry about your Michigan why are you crying about his and he's crying about yours and the answer is because they understand you know what caused this separation you know why we were separated for 22 years because of the same cause that destroyed the base of English it was the Sinister that separated us and therefore the only way to rectifying it is by crossing over to the other person I cry for your birthday you cry for my mishkan that's the rectification that's the way it gets rebuilt that's the way we rebuild that's one of the things that we're meant to be taking out of Tish above there's another idea and the other idea is probably the push-up shot in the Gomorrah why was it that this son and daughter of rabies and Alicia were so beautiful why was it that they were crying the next day the sun comes up the light comes up and they're crying I think the answer is that they were crying because they realize what a near Miss imagine a brother and a sister and we were just saved by the sun coming up we were so close to defiling ourselves and they cried at the near Miss so just imagine a person is in a room all by himself with an internet it's not even an ear Miss how many times does he cry should he cry roll alone in the dark nobody sees what's happening Brothers Pharmacy is zema ruined destroyed the base of Indus if a person becomes Christian defiled by a shifra by the lowest of the low so how many tears should we cry into Shiva person realizes if I go near it and it defiles me I have to cry enough said a rebbe of mine was at the kaiso I don't remember if it was on Tish above found the day before tisho sometime during the nine days might have been a tissue of itself a non-jewish woman approached him she said to him you're a rabbi aren't you I said yes she said this is where the temple once stood is and it said yes it is said can I ask you a question are there going to be sacrifices here today very quick thinking man he said to her as of right now no but perhaps later today perhaps later then it wasn't a joke it says whether you sure been lay ing lately we are another when is coming he said I am and she overlay said what do you mean I haven't said a lot I've been a yoms have passed hiyoming because if you listen if you obey if we improved we improve in our if we take Tish above seriously people sometimes say I can't relate to Tish above I have trouble relating to Tish above and 15 000 men got in those Quorum every night in a lot fifties well sorry all the men got in the corn fifteen thousand did not get up the next morning they did not know if they're going to be alive the next day anybody have trouble relating to this year's Tish above nobody has trouble relating person doesn't know where he could go where it is safe not in the house not out of the house us we do what we have to do because Europe will bring the all of the yeshuas that we so much need for clyson so many ways but it depends on us because