The Hard Truth About Tisha B'Av - Rabbi Asher Weiss

and and all the other bonim of this beautiful wonderful community. It's an honor and a privilege to be with you tonight and The name we should say some words to inspire. The days are days of mourning, days of sadness. Yesterday was we are within the nine days [clears throat] and this coming shabas is shabas kazin. One of the most painful chapters in we are all familiar withdal say no [clears throat] that's what all the people say it's not many many swarm hundreds of swarm quote but the Russian is far more troubling much harsher and it's Because when we say every generation there wasn't to have the B mikdash, it is as if the B mikdash was destroyed in our time. So what many things transpire during the lifetime of an individual and not all of them he is liable for what Kazal actually say is every generation that doesn't have the BA maid of So, mother leaves the house for 10 minutes and she tells the kids she knows she has a mischievous bunch and she tells them, "I'm going to be back in a few minutes and I want to find the house exactly as I leave it." She's back 10 minutes later. The flower pot is on the floor broke into pieces. Flowers and water all over the house. The curtains are torn to shreds. And mother asks, "Who did it?" And the children altogether say, "No one. Happened." And mother says, "It didn't happen. Flop pads don't go jumping off tables and curtains don't turn their tear themselves. Someone did it and I want to know who. So when we say it happened, it didn't just happen. Someone bears responsibility. Who bears responsibility? You and I and all of us. So why do we bear responsibility? So these are days of mourning, tragic days in which we remember the the destruction of Bishon and Bi. But the lamb clearly writes in her when we mourn. And it is not only about crying and lamenting and mourning the past. It is about taking responsibility. We are to blame. >> [snorts] >> V. So there's a big disagreement between Raenu. How will the third base according to the people will build the Bash just as have we done Rashi entice three different sources in sh say quoting the so if we will deserve a migdash we will have one and if we don't have one it means we don't deserve one if we don't have a ba mdash it means that a kishu did not find us fitting to have a ba mda And that is why these are not only days of remembrance and mourning but they should be days of chuva days of reflection and retrospection [clears throat] and so we need to try to understand what caused the in order to know what will bring forth the bigna When we will fix what was broken and rectify what was wrong, we could expect to be zed to the gulma and the bias aishi. So there are two different gamoras dealing with the shi twice in the quote and the gammor says [clears throat] according to the g of This question was presented to the sages, to the prophets, to the angels of above and they did not know says [clears throat] the And Iran says it's totally unreasonable that what caused the was they didn't say that is according to most So the explains it wasn't really about TA wasn't important enough. They didn't appreciate. They didn't love. They didn't understand what Tyler means. And the life of every individual and the life of every community and the life of of a people and that is what brought about So next week we will all sit on the floor and lament and read migillas. There is one chapter one peric in McGillis [clears throat] which is personal and the great Novi cries about his personal misfortune. Why is it me? Why is it my destiny to be with Cloud Soul in this most painful period of our history? And that is permeas oniato and he lament his own personal misfortune. How painful it was for yo to be with and to see their pain and to see the suffering and to see the and the first 20 sukim in perma are total despair. total despair as if there is no hope. And the Novi says, And then suddenly inf's a total change of tone and the ni continues. I will take this to heart and therefore I have hope. and so on of faith. What is this total transformation and change of tone? The med says the word alf. What is it that I take to heart that gives me hope, that gives me strength, that gives me And of all the about the choses, the one even when we suffer and we seem to be dying. No, no, no. Ta keeps us alive. Antida keeps us going. And in the most dire of straits, in the most darkest of days, so what brought about the of is a lack of appreciation, a lack of love of so what is our call in these days in which we lament and mourn is and that what was gives us strength in the most difficult of times in San's is a story the great was lying on his deathbed and his telmid came for big. So just briefly telling the story of it he was the greatest town of his time but he was shamuti in a way he was an outsider. He was put into and he was not the greatest teacher of his time even though he was the greatest sage. And towards the end of his life and the gamor says asks him now you're coming where were you yesterday and a day before yesterday where were you and one of them says not a very reasonable response. He didn't have time. And says, "I wonder whether any of you will die natural death and ultimately they were harus." and Rika Rabika was closer to than his other friends. And is shocked and he asks Shalima, "What will be my end?" And says, "Your demise will be more tragic than all the others." There's an amazing rashi there. And Rashi says, "Why? You didn't mean if you would, you would be far greater. So that's the end of the story in Shaz and we are so curious. We would like to know what happened next after says this terrible bisuro and all those are shocked what happened next the go doesn't say but the continuation is in the zya says after hearing says Rabbi or teach us let's start now okay we here we have such deep regrets we should have come long ago that teach and then everybody starts teaching shar Fire descends from the heavens and surrounds and all the others are left outside. And he expands and elaborates on one. And when the fire subsides is gone, that was end teaching to so doubtless it was a moving moment, tragically moving when Gdia saw here from the Godor such a terrible prophecy about their future. How does a respond? Let's learn. Let's learn. And when we learn to we always find I was here a few weeks ago, you know, and I I speak so much I no longer remember I remember what I say, but I no longer remember when and where. So I don't even remember whether I told the story when I was here just a few weeks ago. But this is a story to me which means so much and I've told this story so many times. My father was a survivor. Both my mom and dad were in Awitz and I'm a Talmet of the ultimate survivor of the great clovi. He lost his wife and all of his family 11 children in the shawah. My father arrived in Osh the first day she was 1944 tied. That very same day his parents most of his siblings on that very same day were sent to the gas chambers and the crerematoria. He and two brothers were sent in the other direction to life. One day later, a second day shu was 1944. The cloager rebi arrived, my great rebi, and he lost his entire family. And my mother, my father heard that the rebi is in the barracks next to where he was staying. He sneaked out in the middle of the night and the morning he approached the rebi and he said how much it would mean to him to to [clears throat] get close to the rebi. and that every was taken a back. And he said, "If you think it's going to do you any good, it's not really going to do you any good to be close to me." And my father responded, "Of course it will do me good because we could talk in learning." And the Rebi was surprised and he said, "You're an Aitz and you want to talk. I'm learning." And my father intuitively responded, "Of course I do because otherwise how will we prevail?" And that was moved. He gave my father a big hug. And they talked and learning for the next 12 months till the war was over. and they talked to learning for the next 50 years. And whenever I tell this story which is part of our family lore, I say what my father felt as an 18year-old yeshiva boy in Avitz is what I felt 2,000 years earlier when in the days of the he finally gets to meet the Roman commander Aspacanos Vespacian and miraculous ulously the Roman commander develops a liking to the Jewish scholar and he says I was just summoned I got a notice that the emperor died and uh they decided to appoint me as the emperor I need to go back to Rome make a wish and it will be granted and you all remember what was first And some of his peers were unhappy and they said, "Why didn't you ask for the mdash?" But knows and it is not to be. He also knows that the only guarantee for our future is as my father felt we need to talk and learn and it is what kept us going in the most difficult of times and Rabika I assume they all were crying and he says we're late obviously we're late but it's not too late. advice teach us to. [snorts] So the first basus was destroyed for a lack of appreciation and love of Toyota and lack of understanding that to is the guarantee to our future and history teaches us wherever there were yeshivas bl blossomed and where there were no yeshivas we withered way. So then says what keeps us going is so in these days of tragedy and of mourning is number one. Teach your children Tyra. Teach your grandchildren ta. see to it that they go to yeshivas and they learn tail. We live in a tragic time in which assimilation is eating away at the core of our people and we're losing so many kids. On the other hand, it is uplifting to see such kir and so many people coming back coming back coming back to Thailand. and especially in this community. I just had dinner with a few of the rabbis of the Bkari community and I was so moved to hear their story and it is not only in the Bkari community in the entire world t is growing Yiddish kite is blossoming. This is an amazing time. We are losing so many kids to assimilation and on the other hand there is the spirit of kiru in we've been through a terrible war for the past three years writes in his introduction to see and see The ultimate book of pain and suffering that sadic loses everything in a storm. His house comes crashing down. He loses his family. He loses his possessions. And then a lengthy discussion develops and his friends try to comfort him and say words of consolation. And the book ends the same way it started with a storm. And aeshu appears and asks him, Kesha says you and your friends are trying to understand something you cannot understand. Your challenge is to accept what you cannot understand. And writes in his introduction to it troubles our mind and it pains our heart and that is how we cope with pain and suffering. Why do bad things happen to good people? And then Amman writes that this thought brought so many people to lose their amuna, to lose their faith. And this is an amazing time in Israel after a terrible sim. It's hard to say a terrible simplest. Simple state is always simple. But after such a terrible day in 71 and there is a spirit of and so many people coming closer to hostages being months in the most terrible of conditions. Many of them found [snorts] faith, found amuna, came closer to aeshb. This is counterintuitive. These are special times and aes reaching out to us and we must listen. We must listen to his call. So in these days in which we mourn the is the destruction we must dedicate and devote more energies and more resources to to teaching. And then we contemplate says, "And the Gmorra says, "And in the days of they learned, and they were devoted and diligent in their mitzvah, and the bias was destroyed for sin at That is another huge challenge of our time, especially our time. And there is so much division and so much discord amongst our people, especially in Israel, between the Karedi community and the secular community and between different communities within the Torah community [clears throat] and too much sin and too much division. So we might not be able to solve all the problems of the world but each and every one of us needs to do as much as he can do to bring more and as an individual that dedicated his life trying to bring people together and communities together. For me, this is an especially painful period in my life personally. But you do not despair. And many times I teach my kids and might tell me them, you could be critical, but never become bitter. When you become bitter, you are wasting energy on an emotion that is not productive and it's not going to get you anywhere. So we never lose hope. We are the people of hope. We suffered more than all the others but we never lost hope. We are the people of faith. We are the people of Tyra and we are the people that believe loves us. He loves all of us and he expects all of us to love him. So the bay shiny was destroyed by and many siddikib said it will be rebuilt by [clears throat] how could one define is aava ever uncalled form. Is there such a thing asam? To understand we must understand and then one of the greatest teachers of Tyra in the past 200 years that is writes in his introduction and I don't recall whether it's in his introduction to or but then quotes that the bias was destroyed by [clears throat] And he says their arguments and the hatred was not about money, not about power or prestige. It was about hashkov. And every one of them was convinced that anyone that has a different attitude or a different opinion than he has is an apicus and he is out and he is to be destroyed and that was the sin that caused the so yes argumentation is legitimate not only legitimate it is part of our DNA. me and many times when I say and learning inra and I know that I have many in this community as in many other communities that are my and many times I apologize. I never said aesh that that fits in with all the and all the and if you want to learn to that is agreed upon by all you got to be a or we are not one of those. No no no no. So is agreed upon by all the very first Mishnas and the very last Mishna and most of the lives between them are not agreed upon. Yes, argumentation is part of our DNA but sinner is not. Hatred is not and hatred is not legitimate. And we need to learn to respect each other and to love each other even those that might have [clears throat] different opinions. So then it serves as that was what destroyed the bay shi and is learning to love those that might think differently than you and you are allowed to be thoroughly convinced that you are right. When a mayor and have a or yes, each of them was thoroughly convinced that he is right. But nevertheless, yes, we could disagree. We could argue about many things. We have in the past and we will in the future. But there is no room for sinners. And we all need to take upon ourselves to bring more more love and more respect even to those that might have different opinions and different attitudes. That is our core. And in these days in which we mourn and cry and lament over the past, it is not enough to just mourn. And when we cry and we remember and remembrance is so central in Yiddish kite. Our past is never past. Our past is always present. And in shim and in y to we not only remember our glorious past we relive our glorious past and it goes the same in days of tragedy. There's a se in the gamor says if you have a court case with a nonjew try not to have it because these are days of mid. So our past has never passed. We relive what struck our forefathers. We relive days of glory and we relive days of tragedy. So when we mourn and when we say a we are called upon to be better. We are called upon to be to rectify what brought about and to fix what we broke in by his shame. And we never despair and we never lose hope. says at the very end of the ask the proper wording should be in the future tense but what say in the present says, "The fact, the fact that we could cry and weep over tragedy that struck our people 2,000 years ago proves that the past isn't past. Your shalim is alive. alive in our hearts, alive in our thoughts, alive in our nish story goes and we never know whether these stories are true or legend. But the story goes and many quote the story of the great conqueror Napoleon Bonapart when he was one of the greatest warriors and conquerors in history and he was considered to be an intellectual at the time. He wanted to reestablish the Sanhedrin as very well known. It's a fascinating part of our story. And he wanted to know the people under his rule. And he asked him of his aids. Take me to a Jewish synagogue. And it happened to be Tishab. And he walked into sh. And he saw people sitting on the ground crying and weeping. And he was taken aback. And he said, "What happened? Could I help you?" "Well, who who hurt you?" And he was told, "No, no, no. We're okay. So why are you crying and sitting on the floor?" And he said, "Because our temple was destroyed. When did that happen?" He thought it happened yesterday or a day before yesterday. And he was told,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 900 years ago. And he was amazed. And he said a people a people that cry over their distant past are promised to have future. Yes, we have a future. We know that is what says when we weep and cry over. This is a testament. We will say we'll see it. The fact that we cry over tragedy of a distant past proves we have a glorious future. So I don't know what the meaning of safarum is [snorts] but in the Ashkenazi kenno is the very last kenno that we say tishab in the morning iso. And when we say this kina we all rise and stand. And why is that compares the pain and suffering of gullis to labor pain. when none of us sitting at this side of the room really knows what lever pain is. But many of the crowd present here know what labor pain is. It's pain. And if you've been in the delivery room, you heard the cries and the groans. But woe is to the woman that never felt labor pain. And out of this pain comes the greatest joy in human experience. Out of this pain comes life. And the greatest joy a human being could experience is born and bred by pain. So after saying all those kay we rise and we say we hurt, we suffer, we pain, but we believe out of this pain comes life and the greatest joy we could ever look forward to. So we should be z the only mention of the four days of morning is in the and in a positive context. What does the ratio of this POS have to do with the safer? The first part of the POS is an expression of hope. a prayer, a promise, a promise that these tragic days of mourning will ultimately be transformed to days of joy, to days of celebration. And then noi says, you will ask me when will that be. And then noi says, I can't tell you when, but I could tell you how. When is up to you, and I can't tell you when. is and is the only ultimate truth is seal and that seal is inra when you will love and you will rectify the of and you will love peace. It is then and only then that we could really hope. Amen. Amen.