The Most Powerful Weapon You Own - Rabbi Avraham Willig

Hello everybody. Uh, welcome to Jerusalem. Today, today we're going to talk about weapons of mass destruction. Today we're going to talk about words. Today we're going to talk about speech. Today we're talking about nuclear power. Nuclear power. My first point I'd like to make is that words, so simple and so profound. Words are powerful. Words are powerful. Does anybody know? Anybody know how God created the world? God, the world. The world. How did God create the world? Anybody look in the Torah? There's a whole description in the Torah how God created the world. >> It's true. It took it took six days of creation. That's true. And how did God that that's how long it's how did God create the world says it says again and again in the Torah God spoke. He said let there be light. He said right let there be the sun. Right? He spoke. He spoke and in o in 10 statements with speech God creates the world. words create. Please God, one day soon, one day soon, you guys are gonna find that beautiful girl of your dreams. Make her Jewish. Make her Jewish. Nice Jewish boys here. And uh you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna put a ring on her finger and marry her. I'd like to ask you, how will Let's get technical for a moment. How and where exactly is the transaction of a Jewish marriage? How will you actually be undergo the the legal moment of you call it an acquisition or you know transaction or or bonding? How does that happen? Where and how does that happen? The Jewish wedding, the Jewish rabbi, a Jewish ceremony. OKAY, FINE. HOW EXACTLY do you get married? I'll tell you how. That's not good enough. That won't get you married. Uhuh. I'll tell you how. You're going to say nine words. Nine words. These are words you want to get right. Nine words. Okay, I'll say them quickly. Those nine words will change your life forever and change the life of the woman standing next to you forever. It is words which have the power to create [clears throat] a marital bond. Suddenly you're right. Suddenly being with some other woman is adultery. What changed? What changed is that he spoke nine words. It's it's words which create bonds. And humans are fundamentally different than all other creatures and creations on this planet. Okay. Although there are those who say like, "Oh, you know, dolphins are humans, too." Judaism says, "No, they're not. No, they're I'm sorry. We're sorry." No, they're not. They're humans are not animals. Humans are categorically, fundamentally different. This is in the Bible, chapter 1, verse 26, verse 26, 26, 27. God says, "I created man, God created man in his image. God created man in his image. And what what does that mean? What does that mean? God created God created man in his image. The original art scroll even many millennia before art scroll was created. The original translation there was before law centuries before Rashi showed up to explain the Torah. There was an actually in the times of the Talmud itself there was a translator of the Torah. His name was Uncle. That was his name. Don't laugh. Okay. Sounds funny. You wouldn't want You wouldn't want someone to laugh at if your name was Uncle. All right. So, that was his name. And he translated to And how does he translate this expression that man is a a God created man, this living being in the image of God. says means he's writing in Aramaic to translate. In those days, Aramaic was really cool like it was like English, right? So today we speak English, we translate into English, right? In those days like Aramaic was the thing. Okay? So [snorts] that was the hot language. So what does it how does he translate a a godly living being this human? He's speaking. The fact that a human being can fact that a human can speak is what differentiates him from all other creatures and creations. You have a godly soul means you can speak. That means you're like God. Hold on. If you're like God and you can speak. What does that mean? That means that you can be a creator just like God created with words. You can create with words. Wow. Words are powerful. Words create a reality. And I'm going to prove this to you right now. You ready for this? I'm going to show you. You're not going to believe me, but you'll see. You'll see that I'm right. I'm going to show you that there's a that everyone in the world everyone in the world recognizes this. They're not aware of it, but everyone in the world has a universal phrase that recognizes this fact that words create. You ready? And you know it. And you know it >> the word is abracadabra. You ever see a magician? They go like this. They take their magic wand. They say abracadabra. Here's a rabbit. Look, I created it. What does that mean? Everyone says that. Jew. Where did that come from? >> It's actually a Hebrew. No, it's a Hebrew expression. Abra from the word briata. Boret means to create. Abra. I will create kadabra like I speak. I will say something poof or voila or whatever other magic word, right? And I will create this. Now, of course, it's a simulation. It's a joke, right? But but but but the jokes are deep. The jokes are deep, right? There's a lot of it's borrowing from the Jewish concept that this is the concept that words create. Words build worlds and What's the flip side? Words are so powerful they can destroy worlds. Words create and words destroy. What I'd like to show you here today is that speech is a matter of life and death. Speech, language, verbal expression is a matter of life or death. And this is expressed openly in the book of Mish in chapter 18 verse 21 where King Solomon says life and death are in the power of the tongue. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Words are a matter of life and death. You can kill someone with words and you can bring life to someone with words. And the Midash tells a story about uh it's you could say a long story. We're going to try to say it in a short version of the story, right? A story of a king who got very sick, very sick, and he went to the doctors and the doctors said, it's going to sound wild. I guess this so many so many centuries ago the doctor said, you know, the only way you're going to get better is if you are able to drink the milk of a lioness. If you will drink from the milk of a lioness, then you will live. Now, there was a problem, right? What's the problem? How the how well he was not a Jewish king. He was great question. Okay. Okay. If you can drink from the milk of lion, you'll you'll live. But the problem of course is how in the world are they going to get milk from a lionist? So all the king's all the king's, you know, all the king's servants and all the king's men, right? Made an announce like we we need like can anyone help us? Right. Right. Fine. So there was one guy who uh who figured out a way. he figured out a way and uh whatever he figured out a way and he said listen I I I think I can do it right and uh he did it and he comes back and the night before he was was on his way back to the to the king he had a dream he had a dream and in his dream he it was just a dream just a dream his all the parts of his body were were arguing about who's greater, who's the most powerful. His head said, "I'm the most powerful." His heart says, "I'm the most powerful." Right? Everyone has their own reason, right? Without a heart, you can't do anything. Without eyes, you without legs, right? You can, everyone can make their own argument. And the tongue said, "I'm the most I'm the most powerful." Everyone's like, "Nah, you joke. You little stupid little thing." He's like, "Okay, let's see. Fine." He wakes up. milk of the lion have to bring it to the king gets to the king like okay oh be huffing and puffing I have to see the king I have to see I I can help him I you bring him in front of the king and he's like okay okay your imag milk from where from a dog from a dog off with his hand you making a joke you're making you're making fun of me Right? So he's like, "No, no. I I I made a mistake." Right? Other words, he corrects himself. But in those moments, in those moments, it became clear. He's like, "Wait a second. What's the most The tongue is like, yo, I told you what's the most powerful thing, right? It's just a story." But the concept here is that that that that the words we speak, it's a the words matter. And words can easily get you killed in a moment and and and and bring life in a moment. In fact, in fact, uh the verse in Mish, the verse in Mish, chapter 12, verse 18 says it best. And here's a verse that I love. The verse in Mish again in the the book of Proverbs, it says, I'll translate. It says hurtful words are like stabbing stabbing someone with a dagger with a sword. But wise words heal people. Excuse me. Tough, diff, strong, hurtful words are like stabbing someone with a sword. But the tongue of of of someone who speaks wisely, right, heals someone. It could bring healing. You could heal somebody with words. Can bring life to someone. You see the verse itself is saying in the Bible, speech is a matter of life or death. Now words are like words as the Torah here says are like stabbing someone with a dagger. Stabbing someone with a dagger, it's a dagger to his heart. You know, we all are familiar with with the phrase. All of us have heard the phrase and finish it for me. Sticks or stones can break your bones, but yeah. Words or people say names. Names will never hurt you. Right? That's the like that's what they taught you in in in day school, in elementary school, in kindergarten. Sticks or stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you. And names or names will never hurt you. You know what Judaism says? That is the most counterfactual, untrue, immoral statement. It's exactly the opposite. We say sticks or stones can break your bones, but names will hurt you more. Sticks or stones can break your bones, but names will hurt you more. EVEN MORE BECAUSE IF I break your bone, what will happen? It hurts, but a year later, two years later, three years later, it heals. It heals. And the Talmet actually says so explicitly also brings this concept that if you hurt someone with with words, it's much more of a sin than if you hurt them physically. Can you believe that? I broke your arm. That was wrong. I hurt you by insulting you, humiliating you, embarrassing you, uh you know, calling you names. That actually hurts you more than hurts you more and it's a bigger sin. And and why would why is it a bigger sin? Simple. It stays with you forever. It still hurts. I'm sure everyone in this room won't I won't I won't ask anyone any questions, right? Everyone in this room has had an experience where people said something to them which was so demeaning and so disgraceful and so disgracing and so humiliating. It put you down so bad. It hurts still today, right? We're still insulted. We can still feel the shame. We can still feel the um the ne the painful negative feelings. Therefore, you take a word word wo r d and you need to ask yourself every time you speak, am I say what is this? Is this a word or is this a put an s in front of that? Is this a sword? Do you know what a sword is? Do you know what a sword is? Brooklyn, you know what a sword is? Read it. It means sword. Okay, that's how you spell sword, isn't it? Right. Check it out behind me. Sword. A word could be a it could be used as a word. It could also be used as a sword, otherwise pronounced sword. In other words, it's this. It's this close. Every word you say can actually be a harmless or loving, kind word. Or it could be as if you stabbed someone with a sword in their heart, killing them. Killing them. And which is worse? Which is worse? To be stabbed with a sword or to be stabbed with a word? The Talmud answers. The Talmud answers. to be stabbed with a a word is even more painful than a sword because you're you're you're you're destroying their their whole inner essence. You're hurting someone with with words. That's the expression. The tongue is mightier than the sword, right? A take off of a pen is mightier than the sword. The tongue is mightier than the sword. In fact, the Gmorra in on page 15 says that speaking negatively about someone is like killing them. You can assassinate someone with your words. Character assassination. And it just takes one little wrinkle of the nose, one little turn of the face, one little like, you know, a little grimace and a wink in front of a crowded room, you know, and you put this guy down and it's like he's humiliated and shamed in front of everyone. That wasn't the word. It started off as a word and then somehow it becames it bec it became a sword and you basically stabbed him to death. Wow. And the Gmorrah actually says the Talma, this is this is going back 1500 years. The Talmet actually says, you know, you want actual proof with your eyes, proof with your eye that you can see that it it's as if you've killed him because what happens when you humiliate someone publicly? His face turns >> red. All the blood rushes out and then after that his face turns white, pale. In other words, YOU'RE CALLED HIM FAT. OH MY GOSH. I CUFF HIM. BRING HIM DOWN TO THE STATION. WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED? YOU KNOW, YEAH, he called him. Yeah. So what? What's the big deal? He insulted him. He embarrassed him. He humiliated him. He shamed him. He gossiped about him. He said he's he told he said this and this about him. Do whatever you want. It's a free country. I say whatever I feel like. There's no laws about how to talk to talk about other people. I can say whatever I want. I can hurt you as much as I feel. There's no laws. Judaism says it's immoral. It's criminal. It it's sinful. You can be punished the same way as if you did something, you know, any other severe sin that we that you do understand. You know, in America, they talk about gun control. There's no there's no talk about word control. Say whatever you want. It's problematic, but everyone's doing it. Well, my friends, welcome to Welcome to Judaism. We take responsibility for the world. Who says? I say. who says God says that's immoral. It's wrong. But everyone, no, no one else thinks it's wrong. We don't care. God says it is wrong. The Torah says it is wrong. Judaism says it is wrong. And in fact, that tal in on page 15 says teaches us that God of course knows God knew that the tongue is dangerous. God knows that the tongue is d. God knows that people are actually a danger to other people, right? We all live in one big world society and the tongue is potentially so dangerous and therefore catch this. God set up a security system. God set up a actually a maximum security uh system for our tongue. And the Talmet calls our attention to the fact that the tongue is different than all other parts of the body in that it has gates. Not just one gate on it, but two gates, walls that God built in built in to our into our bodies. One is one is the teeth. You speak with your tongue, right? You need your tongue to speak or if you lock it out because the teeth you close your teeth, you can't speak. It doesn't show what I'm talking about. And that's and God says that's not good enough. We're else going to have the lips. So God says it's so dangerous. It needs to be behind bars. Not one set of bars, two sets of bars. Because if if you let it loose, if it's unguarded, it could it could wreak havoc. It could it could it words are weapons of mass destruction. You could kill people. You could destroy relationships. You could destroy you say one nasty thing about somebody. You can destroy him in one second. [clears throat] You start some rumor about someone in you ruin his career. You can ruin it. You can d you can get him fired. You can you can ruin all the Bible itself tells a story about a guy named this is a longer story but there was a guy named Doe. And Doe was jealous. He was jealous of David. It's in the book of Samuel. He was jealous of David and he slandered. He said something. He said something. He presented something not true about him. And because of that, King Saul actually what? It's not a it's not a pleasant story. An entire city was killed. Men, women, and children. Innocent people. Totally innocent. But King Saul thought that they were guilty because one person said something to make it look that they're bad people. Just just like this weapons of mass destruction, you can destroy a whole city just like just like that, right? So your tongue is a lethal weapon. You are dangerous. Your tongue is a lethal weapon, right? And therefore it needs to be behind bars and maximum security. And yet and yet still we somehow manage to bypass and end up we end up hurting people anyway. And so here's Jewish practice for you every day. Anyone who follows Jewish law, anyone who follows Jewish law every single day offers a prayer not once but three times a day. Check it out. Three times a day. Every Jew offers a prayer to God, a personal prayer, private prayer to God. And they say, "Eloai, my God, please God, please help me guard my tongue from hurtful words." Wow. Help me protect. Help me hold myself back. my lips. Guard my lips. Guard my tongue. Help me not hurt people and destroy people. And you know what? You meet a lot of the You can meet a lot of Jews wearing these beanie things. Yeah. And some of them are very very careful, very very particular about what goes into their mouth. Oh, I can't eat that. Oh, oh, this. Oh, no, that's not for me. Oh, very very careful. Like almost like crazy. They get crazy. Oh, this. All kinds of laws and details. I I'm not I can't. And what comes out of them now? No problem. And the rabbis are teaching, hold on, you might want to reconsider that, you know, which is it. In fact, I'd be so daring daring as to ask the question, what's a greater sin? We don't compare sins, you know, but but but what's a but let's but let's what's a more severe sin? What is what goes into your mouth and what goes out of your mouth? Let's eat something not kosher. That's wrong. That's wrong. It's a sin. But you know what? The words that come out of your mouth are actually a bigger sin. So maybe we should, you know, I'm not telling us not to eat kosher, but maybe we should like for those people who are very careful about what they what goes into their mouth and not so careful what goes out of their mouth, maybe you want to re, you know, adjust that a little bit. You want to consider words uh that come out of their mouth as well. And you know what? The fact that we can speak at all is a gift. Most most of creatures in the world cannot speak. It's a gift. There's actually it's it's it's it's a deep very satisfying pleasure to be able to express ourselves and communicate with other people. Very very deep pleasure if we don't use it right. God could take it away. And in fact the the opening story in the Bible pretty much chapter three of the Bible tells a story about a snake. Remember that story? Crazy story. The snake in the Garden of Eden. And what did he do? Remember the story? He spoke negatively about God himself, what we would call lash, which just sounds absurd, sounds ridiculous. He comes to Eve and Adam. He's like, "Oh, listen. You know, God says this and and and and God's worried that you're trying to you're trying to take his job. He he he slanders God himself. He speaks lush. He's the first being to speak lush. You know what God did? God punished him." You know what he did? You ever seen You ever see a snake? You ever see the tongue of a snake? He slashed his tongue. He did. You ripped this. Hey, that the way you that's the way you talk. You don't deserve to talk. If you read the story, whatever it means. Whatever it mean, the snake was originally able to talk. Well, not anymore. His tongue got slashed and destroyed, right? Because he he misused it. So that's what I've shown you is that words are dangerous. Words can harm. Words can destroy. But words can also heal. Let me take the last few minutes to show this to us. Words can heal. Remember that was the flip side of the of the of the verse verses that we've read before in the the book of Proverbs. Let me quote a couple of other verses in Proverbs just because they're so precious and so beautiful. You can check out Proverbs chapter chapter 18. I can't read my writing here. Uh chapter 16 verse 24 where it says that kind words are like a honeycomb. sweet like honey and they're sweet to the soul and they're healing to the body. And again, Proverbs chapter 15:4, a soothing tongue is like a fountain of life. A fountain of life. Right? So here it is again. Okay. Words can heal. And I can tell you real stories, real stories of how just one comment, one hurtful comment was so disempowering, was so disempowering to somebody that they just gave up. I could tell you a true story. I know somebody a brilliant a brilliant brilliant person, extremely brilliant, right? I'm sure he was at the top of his class and he was doing a dissertation for a master's degree or a doctorate and he came to meet with his professor and this guy's a I would say he's I don't know is he a genius but like the the student who was writing it is extremely gifted and intelligent. He came to the professor and for whatever reason the professor said like this is bad. This is like you know like he just he was so instead of encouraging and he was almost finished. The person the student was so hurt and so he felt so hurt and like again disempowered he just he just dropped out of the program. I met the person it was many many years later and he's like and he was asking like weren't you supposed to get a doctor? Yeah. It's just so it was so painful to hear that story is so intelligent. I mean, right? So that's it. We can really destroy someone with words, but we can also build someone with words. We could save someone's life with words, right? You know, I'm going to tell you something shocking, but you can Google it. You'll see it for yourself. It's a it's a it's a frightening statistic. Do you know the ratio between the ratio of the tragic occurrences of homicide compared to suicide? Homicide compared to suicide. Sorry to sorry to bring up such a morbid a morbid topic. What happens more homicide or just a hom what a terrible thing that the you know again we come from America. We're dealing with gun control and careful like hurting you know like killing people. Would you believe me if I told you? You can check it out for yourself. There are way more than double the amount of suicides every year than homicides. Wow. Now, let's let's let's be honest for a moment. How does that happen? >> How does that happen? People people feel for whatever reason so negative about themselves, so hurt, so unwanted, so unloved, so put down, so dismissed and and and and dejected and rejected. They're like, I basically I I'm worthless. I basically have no I have no purpose here. Basically, no one loves you. NO ONE LOVES ME. TRUST ME. If everyone I haven't met the guy, right? is like he's so everything's so good. He he gets complic complimented all day and that guy kills himself. That almost never happens, right? So that's a painful statistic and and something that we need to think about responsibly. Like you know, you're you're part of this world. Take responsibility a little bit for societ society. You know, perhaps the biggest gift you can ever give someone is the gift of a kind word. And it's free. It doesn't cost anything. It doesn't cost anything. It's so it's so easy to do. Just say something nice and don't say something hurtful and rude and and and mean and and and right and and degrading to somebody. I'm going to end with a a zor. I'm going to end with a mystical secret from the zor. But you know, I'm not a I'm not a mystic. I'm not a cabalist. I'm not a great rabbi. I'm just a simple Jew. But I will say this. I will say this. This Zohor I'm going to quote just a little just one line from the Zor. Okay. The mystical book of Judaism. I'm going to quote one teaching and I'll tell you this. This teaching is so powerful. It's I would say it's worth its weight in gold. It's if you're writing notes, write this down. And I'm even going to quote you the source because you're not, you know, you say, I need to see this for myself. Good. See it for yourself. Okay. The zor says in parasa on in 46b, it says the following. You ready for this? Just like I'm I'm paraphrasing. Just like we will be punished for speaking negative words to people and about people. So too, so too we are going to be punished equally punished for not saying nice words to those who we could have said it. Just as we've we're going to be punished for speaking hurtful, negative words about people and to people, to the same extent, we're going to be punished for not saying nice words when you could have. Someone got dressed up for that wedding and they like they're, you know, you know, they worked hard to get that outfit and to dress well and you could have you could have said, "Whoa, you're looking great." You could have said that. You just don't feel like it because you're so self-centered. You don't want to make them feel good. like why do they deserve my company or whatever it is you could say you could say nice car you know it's his life's dream you could say nice lawn nice flowers you could say anything you could say nice words to people but you don't you could have could you imagine could you imagine you're going to show up to heaven guy's like okay it's like hey I was a I was a good boy he's like oh just you know just just imagine for a moment you show up to heaven and guy's like oh you're going to hell like go to hell whatever >> [laughter] >> Where was my sin? What did I Where was your sin? You know how hard your brother worked to to to do something impressive? And all you needed to do was just like notice him. You know how hard your son worked to get your attention? And all you all he was waiting for was for a compliment. He worked so hard on that test and all you need to say like, "Great job, kid. I'm really proud of you." Instead, you're like, "Hey, HOW COME YOU ONLY GOT A 91? You could have got 100." WHATEVER IT IS, YOU KNOW HOW HARD YOUR WIFE WORKED TO MAKE DINNER for you and all you had was, you know, she made six things and you all you had to say was like that one thing wasn't so good. That's a sin. And it's a sin of omission. You You didn't say anything. That's exactly right. Could you imagine? You're going to go to hell. We're going to go to hell for not saying something. Who ever heard such a crazy idea? That's what the zord that's what the mystical cabala teaches us, the Jewish people. We're responsible not just for the words we speak. We're responsible for the words we don't speak. Wow. The sin of not speaking. The sin of not speaking positive words. What have we learned today? We have learn. I've showed you, right? We've learned that our words are lethal weapons and our words have the opportunity to kill. At the same time, the flip side, our words have the possibility and the ability of bringing someone back from death, of breathing life and encouragement into someone, helping someone feel like they have self-worth and self- value, helping them have a life of happiness on their own once they feel encouraged and feel confident and confident. Wow, our words are powerful. The gift of God, right, of being a human speaking being is powerful. We are, you are powerful. You walk around with weapons of mass destruction. We're dangerous. Us humans, we're dangerous, but we're also the most powerful people on Earth. Especially in today's very fast world, very fast world of of of technology and communication. You can make people feel good. millions of people in one shot. You could say one nice thing or say right you can you can help people in such a huge way by speaking utilizing and harnessing the opportunity and the ability to to use words to build to use words to love to use words to to spread kindness. So I bless you and bless me back. I bless you and bless you back that we should use our words in the best way and only in the best way. Thanks for listening.