The Truth About Healthy Humor, Comedy and Laughter - Rabbi Daniel Glatstein

says ben is a lion of we know is a lion of and is a lion of the garumar says in before you learn it's a good idea to have a joke before you learn it's a good idea to have a joke now but that's if it's actually a joke like I said before if let's say the magir is not capable of saying a joke there are many they could give a good shar but let's say when it comes to jokes that's not their forte. They're as good as making jokes as cooking, let's say. So then they should avoid saying the joke. It's only a joke you should say in the beginning of the share. It's a garan shabas rabba. We spoke about this many times. Rabbi lived a very difficult life. He would always begin his share with mils and the rabbis would laugh and then he would say the share. Everything is marumas in the Torah. So it says the haya is a lion of simka. When should you be av stands for before you learn? You should be before you learn. And if you do, you'll have understanding even the very difficult laws of even very difficult because when you hear a light remark, when you hear a good joke, it opens up the mind. Sometimes people come in they're very stressed they're very tense they're very tight you know some people come into the shear pow relax you know take a deep breath so you give a shar you give a joke and all of a sudden they breathe easy and then they understand all the deep okay so let us begin with a very important gamar since I like to talk about and I like to talk about I tell The story on Daphn, the story goes like this. Rebi made a wedding for his son Reb Shaman. And what happened was um Rebi had a student. The student was not that much uh younger than him. His student was Barapara. Barapora should sound familiar to you. He's mentioned in Carbon. Yeah. Does do you remember Barapora? Yeah. Barakapar was a student. Everyone and his third cousin was invited to Reb's wedding. Rebi was very well connected. Rebi was Rabbi Judah the prince. He was not only the god Hadar but he was the political leader of the Jewish people. He was very well connected including with the Roman government. You can imagine it was a tremendous wedding and the cost of the wedding was about two the Gumar says Barapar was not invited to the wedding. Can you imagine? Reb's prized student was not invited to the wedding. So, Bar Kapara was insulted. So, he graffitied the wedding hall. Barapura graffitied the wedding hall. He wrote two um 24,000 myriad of coins Rebi spent on the wedding hall and he didn't invite me. He spent 24 million uh coins on the wedding hall and I wasn't invited. And then Barapura made the following insulting remark. If this is the money that violators of the will of Hashem is given, if Hashem rewards those who violate his will, certainly those who fulfill his will, how much their reward will be in Haba. Wow. That that's a pretty uh that's that's pretty tough. called Rebi someone who violates the will of Hashem. Barapor said if this is the reward for those who violate the will of Hashem namely my rebi rebi who's not inviting me it's like you know here he didn't invite me to the wedding if this is the money that god gives those who violate his will those who fulfill his will now if you look in the mafar there's no rash on it the mafar says the reason didn't um invite barapur is bar kapur was an expert Ban Bar Karpara was hilarious. I'm saying like really funny like and Rebi didn't want to laugh. Rebby was a serious guy. Rebby never laughed. In fact, the Gumar continues, "Any day Rebi laughed, it brought disaster to the world because Rebi was the father and the leader of the Jewish people who his mind and his heart was always focused on his people. If his mind would ever be distracted from cla, it brought disaster to the world. He but apparently he invited Bakapara. Apparently when Bakapar insulted him and he said if God gives so much money to those who violate his will certainly those who fulfill the will of Hashem will be rewarded. So ultimately Bakapara managed to wiggle his way into the Rabbi said to Barakara don't make me laugh. Don't make me laugh. I'm telling you now don't make me laugh. If you don't make me laugh, I'll give you 40 measurements of wheat. Basically, I'll pay you not to make me laugh. Rebi was very serious. Don't stop smiling. Rebi was very serious. Revi said, "If you make me laugh, don't make me I'll pay you if you don't make me laugh." Um, so Bakara said, "Listen here. Whatever I'm gonna want to take from you, I'm gonna take from you. I'm gonna get money from you whether I make you laugh or not. So what did Barakapara do? He took a big basket. He he lined it with tar so that no wheat should fall out of the wicker and then he proceeded to turn it upside down and wear it on his head. Now he it seems like he's trying to hide his identity. He was doing the most absurd thing in the world because he was expecting Rebby to put wheat in his basket. The only thing is if it's upside down, the wheat he tars it so not even one wheat could fall out. The problem is it's upside down in his hat and he looks like a clown. And that's how he comes into the wedding. But sure enough, Rebi probably recognized his voice and he makes the following announcement. Give me the 40 measurements of wheat that I'm entitled to. What? No, you're not entitled to it. You're not. Rebby laughed. Rebi laughed. So he he says, "Give me the wheat." Well, the wheat he's dressed like a clown. There's nowhere to put the wheat cuz the thing is the thing is tred, but it's upside down. So Rebby laughed. Rebi said, "I told you not to make me laugh. I can't believe it. You came in here and within one second you had me you have me rolling." He said, "No, I just came to get my wheat. I didn't come to make you laugh." Which is dead pan, you know. You know, he he said, "I didn't I didn't come to make you laugh. Here he is, this big rabbi. Imagine a rabbi comes and he's wearing a wicker basket with tar on his head. He's the tar is dripping off his face." Barapar now turns to Reb's daughter and he says to Reb's daughter, "Tomorrow we're going to drink wine watching your father dance and your mother sing." Now what in the world? His mother sing. Now Bakapur wants Reb's wife to sing. Bakapur wants Reb's wife to sing. What kind of singing is this? It seems says that in the oriental countries women would you know um maybe so any what do they do at the weddings? >> You know >> how do they do it? >> Yeah like by Leia's you know >> so that might not be considered kisha right that might not be considered kalisha. Anyway, Rebby had a son-in-law, Ben Alasa, who is very wealth wealthy. Rebi invited um sorry now Reb's son-in-law was extremely wealthy and at the wedding bar Karpara starts asking Rebi questions. Now usually if you go to aa you need to have some courtesy you know sometimes people it's irrelevant where they are you know sometimes I give a shar and after you know you mind if I ask you a question about you know wearing galashes when it snows outside we just finish the shar you know maybe on a different occasion some people it's irrelevant what the context is they could be at a wedding they could be at a funeral some you mind if I ask you some uh aluma Shakasha the the guy is dead right in front of us. Maybe maybe you could wait for a different occasion. I know learning is important but like you have to know your surroundings. Anyway asked Rebi the Pik says that if you have relations with a man you're called a toya. This is what is asking Rebi at his son's wedding. Where did the where does the word toya come from? I mean, you know, everything in learning is important, but you don't go to your Reby's wedding and start asking him about what does abomination mean? You know, imagine imagine like, you know, you're you're at a wedding and your Rebi is walking his son down to the and he said, "Rebi?" Yeah. I have a Shila. Okay. What's a Shila? I'm learning the Pik of um toya. What does mean? I mean, you're out of your mind. What kind of question? That's the question that Barakapura asked Rebi. Now Barakapura here obviously has a very deep cabana and Rebi said this answer that answer. Bakapura shlugged him up at his own kid's wedding. So Rebby got fed up. He said um you tell me what to means. So Bakapar says, "Um, give me a drink." Bakar said, "I'm only going to tell you if you pour me some wine." So Revi uh Rebi pours him some wine. So he says, "Okay, that's a good start. It's a good start. Now um I need you to I need you to dance for me." Okay. Reb's in an he starts doing a jig for Barapara. So Bar say, "Okay, very good. You gave me a drink and you danced for me. I'll tell you what toya is. Tova means toya. You're straying with this. You're straying with this. Why are you going after this? There there are more natural ways of of engaging in in this activity. You're straying after this. And then Barapur asks Rebi, what does teel mean? It says somebody lives with their sister. Tevelhu. It's a little bit of a not a typical question you would ask your Rebi at the wedding of his son. His son is a man, a boy marrying a lady. Why is he asking him about Mishkav Zakar about uh incestral relationships between someone and their sister? So Rebi gave one answer, another answer. Nah, that's weird. Nah, you're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. So Rebi said, "You say." He said, "No, pour me a drink and I'll say." So Rebi pours him a drink. He said, "Now dance for me." So Rebi does a jig for Barapara and he says, "Tevil is um there's no spice in this. There's spice in this. What do you see in this relations that's not present in a normal relationship?" And then and then Barakar asks what's zema? I mean these are like the most fluid words that the the most promis to describe low activity. This is what Bakapar is asking Rebi. Finally, the son-in-law is standing there. He can't take it anymore. The the student is abusing Rebi. He's asking him these absurd questions. He got up and he left. Ben Alaso walks out of the This is the story. Barara was determined to make Rebi laugh. Bakara was a Badan par excellence and he came to the most serious man in history, Rebi. Rebi when he died when he was about to die he lifted up his 10 fingers says and he swore that he didn't benefit from this world even a pinkies full rebi never laughed if rebi cracked a smile there was there were earthquakes in the world and bakar bak kapar came in he took his wicker basket he lined it with tar he put it on his head like a clown and rebi just broke out laughing it's interesting we don't know of any disasters that happened that day this is the garamara What exactly is going on? And really uh what's most difficult is how did Barakapura who is one of the GDam Barapura was a Tana Atana we can't even fathom the greatness of Atana Barap should call Rebi is someone who violates the will of Hashem and if he did insult his Rebi why would Rebi invite him to the party after that imagine like this rebi decided you know I'm going to invite ycle and barl and fial and I'm going to invite Romans I'm not going to invite Why? Cuz he's going to make me laugh. So Bakara says, "Yeah, watch this. Hey Rebi, you violate the will of Hashem." Oh, that really ingratiated himself with his Rebi. Now he then the next day he got an invitation in the mail. What was Rebi waiting for? He's waiting for a a good enough insult to to invite Barara. So if you look at on the page in the darham says look in the chub of rabak of risher theakov for a beautiful explanation of this kumar and the says an amazing approach over here he says if you want to be able to define what is what is someone who's one who violates the will of hem and who is someone who we need to look throughout how the expression is used and how the expression is used. Well, the last tells us a story of Raml and Rab Yeshua and Rabbi and Raba. They were walking and they heard tumultuous uh roar coming from the great metropolitan city of Rome and it was traveled 120 mil and the rabbi started to cry or these tano besides Rabika began to cry. They said, "How could it be that these Gentiles that bow to a desira, they're dwelling in such security and in such uh victory and in such joy and our bikash, the foottool of Hashem was burnt in fire and we're suffering." They began to cry. They couldn't understand why the Gentiles were so prosperous and so successful. And Rabbi Ka laughed. So they asked Rabika, "Why are you laughing? The Romans who destroyed our temple are shouting in victory and you're laughing." Rabbi says, "Exactly. If this is the reward for those who are imagine the reward for those who will fulfill, by the way, it's interesting. The writes that he once visited the Tower of London and in the Tower of London he saw the queen's jewels. He saw the whole collection you know the crowns and the scepters and tremendous wealth and glory. And the said, "If this is what those who violate the will of Hashem received, imagine the Malus, the glory of the Malik Mashiach." Remember we once we once uh used that when uh King Charles was inaugurated. So he came out in the royal carriage and he showed all the the royal wealth. So we uh invoke that. So what do we see from this? We see that the sometimes those who violate the will of Hashem inspire us to laugh because if this is the reward in store for the those who violate the will of Hashem, imagine how much reward is in store for those who fulfill the reward of Hashem. So in a way we see from this mak that those who violate the will of Hashem inspire us to laugh in this world. Interesting the teaches it is for a person you're not allowed to fill your mouth with laughter. You're not to fill. So let's say if I make a joke you should you could laugh. You could laugh, but don't like mamish fall off your chair. You're not going to do that. You have to control it. Brace yourself. Do whatever you have to do. Sometimes it's a school to look at your fingernails. Let's say, you know, you feel like you're going to laugh and you can't control it. Look at your fingernails. It's a schoola not to. So, sometimes I know I I make a joke. Usually, this happens. And you're going to hit the ceiling or something. You have to control yourself. You You're not allowed to just completely lose it. Shane. Then laughter will fill your mouth. When the go says when the go say that Hashem dealt greatly with the Jewish people then you could laugh. But now you can't laugh. It's brought in comes the Taz says if you look in the tour the Torah says you're not to laugh in the gulus. You can't laugh in the gullus. So what and when Msiah comes you could laugh. So then it depends if says when Msiah comes if it's a mitzvah or it's a or it's ava when Msiah comes you could laugh completely but nowadays in the gulus even it has to be with some of control. So comes the and he says what the gumar means in a daram what barapur meant was barapor and rebi had a fundamental how you should conduct yourself in the times of the bik rebi lived in the times of the rebi held in the times of the you have to be very serious you're never allowed to laugh you're not a you don't smile you have to be very somber You have to be very serious because we have mikdash we it will distract us from remembering the mikdash if a person engages in laughter and levity and light-heartedness and bakapara disagreed. Bakara had a difference of opinion uh than rebi rebi was afraid in the time of the gullus to laugh at all. However, Bakara held and that's why he didn't invite Bakapara. He didn't invite Bakara because he knew Barakapara had a different shittita than him. He knew Bakara held that at a mitzvah even you are allowed to laugh. Why? So Rebi didn't really understand the opinion of Bakara. So Bakapar tried to explain it to him. He said the reason is because I hold you're allowed to laugh like you're allowed to laugh because if the are laughing and if the have happiness then you're allowed to laugh and say if this is the reward for the Gentiles of the world world certainly we're gonna have much more reward when Msiah comes in other words bar karp held you're lad laugh for the reasoning of rabbi that if you see the success of the nations of the world, extrapolate from there how good things will be when Msiah comes. That was the opinion of Bakar. So Bakar wasn't calling Rebi, you're a violator of the will of Hashem. Bakar was saying to Rebi, if the violators of the will of Hashem have so much success in this world, we should learn from there how much goodness is in store for the Jewish people, we're entitled to laugh now. like reba bar wasn't criticizing barap was saying I'm just exercising the argument of rebi that was that is the presentation of the in other words there's a concept that one should have live with a certain not just to laugh uh loosely without without thought. There there should be a certain mindfulness. Yeah, that's a very big word these days. Mindfulness of we're allowed to engage in laughter, but the purpose is that it we're supposed to laugh in anticipation of the goodness that will be in store for us with Hashem when Messiah comes. That was the ideology of bar kapara. So on that note, I want to uh bring to your attention and share with you some of the attitudes of the gel is throughout the do to jokes and laughter. Is it a good idea? Is it not a good idea? What's considered a good joke? What's considered lateos? So actually let's begin with the following joke. >> Don't we say >> no we don't say that. >> What then what then do we say >> we say that too? >> No not that too is not found anywhere. >> Not in the bi not in the US. Not in the medish rabba. Not in the medish tan. Not in the saf not in the saf not in the >> exactly the nivas writes that phrase is not accur is not accurate in the theology of Judaism although it is was said byman of however the niva says that he does not it's not it's not agreed upon and the baler also do not recognize that as a Torah value just to be happy always. No, it's you serve Hashem. >> Yeah. Right. I mean, it's it's um although it's commonly sung and there are many good tunes to it, the Bali Muser do not accept it as an absolute Jewish value and did the Bali Muser do not. The nivas wrote in his savah that it's not an accurate um certainly sadness is a is a uh something that could be very dangerous but a an as an inherent value. Is he a good Jew? He's always happy. Okay, it's nice. It's good. I'm happy for him that he's always happy. But that a person should say you know there's something wrong with me. I'm not happy if Davening you're enjoying it in other okay but uh we're not talking about this right now but you asked me so I told you okay you know there's a rule that like I I like to say whenever any day you learn rabar is a good day but now for the first time ever ever you're going to hear a joke from Rabi Ager you never thought you would see the day to hear it now. I couldn't I couldn't believe it. It comes from the holy safer ben you know the satic is a summary of the ben the the ben said anybody anybody who uh learns his and says it over he'll bail you out from any in this world next world. Could you imagine the school of saying a joke from the ben lash if saying his toyra he'll bail you out in this world next. Imagine a joke from the van. Unbelievable. Here we go. He says he heard from his friend Rosenberg of lentin. >> Now in back in the day in order to be a you needed to get like that you're an acceptable authorized wrote like this. It's a pun on top of a pun on top of pun. You know say regarding the makas the Jewish people had to stay indoors. Why? Once the destroying angel is given permission to destroy he will not tell the difference between attack and Russia. In other words once the angel of destruction is loose he'll kill everyone. So therefore the Jewish people had to stay indoors. wrote in the the following punitus. Once permission was given to sharpen your knife lash instead of with an alfin his eye will differentiate between good and bad. It's it's hilarious. >> It's the most lambisha joke you ever heard. You have to be a lambdan. Only someone who could appreciate could appreciate that this joke, the holy joke written in the for of the wrote for again. He was given rashes to sharpen his knife his eye. So apparently had a good sense of humor. >> Yeah. But there's a big stir because was once at a and the shila was once raised at a time that you're allowed that you need to eat meat. Let's say on y are you say with chicken. Now the biggest mishagas I've ever heard is during the nine days people say that tuna steak was so good it mish tasted like a steak. What happened to what happened to them? You kidding me? How could somebody be so self-d delusional to think that a piece of tuna fish could taste like a snake? It's amazing. How could somebody convince themsself that a piece of tuna but that's beyond the scope of this year? I'm just but the sh is chicken meat. So somebody got up and said it says by the brisb you know that in the they split the sheep they split the they split the birds they split the the cows. The bird is not meat. A bird is not meat. Very cute. >> He laughed. Yeah. The literally he didn't split the bird. No, the bird is not basar. It's not >> the the bird is not me. Rabbi said and was so upset he got up and he left. He left the suda. Le sonus you're making late sonus of a so it's a stra on the one hand himself wrote and he made a punus and then when this guy made a joke when is a joke a good joke and when is not when are you allowed to use a pun and when are you allowed to use a pun It could be like this. You're allowed to use something called malita. Malita is using as pros. But that's as long as you're not distorting. If you're distorting, oh, chicken is not meat. That's not what the means. Now, whether it is or not, it's it's not so simple on when you need to eat meat. It's not so pushet you with chicken. Some say yes, some say not. But it's not that you can't use sukim as pros. It's you can't derive and come to an incorrect conclusion from sukim. Well, now now that we're on the topic, one year the records in his mal he was invited, he was in Amsterdam for Purum and he went to the home of Rabshaw of Amsterdam and he he writes the records how at the home of Amsterdam there was this elaborate beautifully setup table that they made for the RV a replica of the court and the palace of and with in Persian. in clothing. They made they constructed the whole royal intrigue out of sugar. Somebody and the describing this and how people came in and a bad came in and the records the purim tora the bad said in Amsterdam at the end of the 18th century. You want to hear the purra? Let's say you know sometimes there are people that you know they they're pummra and they need pummra. So you know imagine if you could say over the pury that that the records this is the records the puryra in the 1770s. Ready? He said came in he asked the following question. It says and it says by it says um and it says so how could it be that guy went up on a ladder to listen to his father and mother to do and he fell off the ladder and he died but he's being mim brings long life brings long life. And this guy went up on a ladder and he fell down and he broke his head and his crown came rolling after something like that. How could it be? So, by the way, the Gumar asks this question. So, the lambd says, I'll tell you how cuz it says you're going to live long on the ground. But the guy went up on a ladder, so he's not on the ground. So there so that's why he didn't have him. Ah then his next sh was like this the says how do you know you follow the what do you mean how you know you follow? Didn't they hang the 10 sons of Hammon? How could they hang them? How do you know for sure they're Hammon's sons? You were there. You saw they were the they they saw Hammon live with his wife that they could testify to the patrineal descent of Hammon sons. How could they kill Ham sons? It must be we follow the Re. So why does Gman ask why do we follow the Re? We should learn it out from the fact that they hanged Hammon's sons. Answers the It says Hammon made an eighth Gavay Kamishama. And it says by the Nyak it was 50 tall. Just like the T of Nyak only brought in good animals. So too the gallows of Hammon will only hang actual Rashe. So you can't learn out ro from there because we don't need to be on the ro because the gallows selected who to hang just like the of selected which animals to bring in because then the had one more lus it says so the says thought he was preparing the gall for himself but really he was preparing preparing it for I'm sorry H thought he was preparing it for Morai but really he was preparing it for himself. So fat I understand in the end it turns out that Hmon was preparing it for himself but he didn't know that. So at the time he was preparing it, how could say he was preparing it for himself says the bad the garra says in that a sudash shabas is so it needs but on a regular Tuesday it's not such a meal it doesn't need so we see from here only something important needs was morai important to ham no it says he was maza Morai. So Hammon considered uh Morai very lowly but he considered himself very so if he prepared something it couldn't have been for Morai. It must have been for himself. Now the didn't say oh what late sonus what this is a mockery. It looks like the is pretty amused with this. He recorded it. He recorded the parra. It's in his even though the whole thing is is mamish uh mameish porum the whole thing is a joke but the got a kick out of it you know. So now we'll end with this reban. I was I I was looking for this my whole life. I heard this. I asked where does it say the story? I found it today. The uh you know the safer harmas by Sherkin. Yeah. Rurkin also wrote a safer of stories. It's called meged. So he wrote the of was he did not laugh at all. Even if he would come to this shear and he would hear a joke that you can't control yourself, he would sit there with straight face. You would want to you'd want to dig a hole and you know you wouldn't even try that again. He would never say one time at one of the made a late son said please please stop that stop that I'm you're going to you cause me to be mal pivan only laughed three times in his whole life and one of them was with the following m of I've definitely heard this it's in The says, "You know what this world is like? You know what the is like the says your clothing should always be white." This joke is not for a general audience. Okay? But said it. I'm just saying it's not for a general audience. There was once a farmer uh from the Hicktowns, a real Harry. You know that expression? If you don't know the expression, I'm not going to explain it. Okay? He was really he didn't know the technology. He didn't know the modern world. And he took a ride on a train. And in the train there were some, you know, jokesters and they wanted to pull a prank on the farmer. And he said, "A farmer? You're you're going to you're going to the big city in overalls? It's ridiculous. They're going to laugh at you. You look absurd. Where are you from? you need to put on big day shabas when you go to the big city. He says, "Big day shabas? They're in my suitcase. How am I supposed to put on big day shabas?" They said, "Well, the good thing is the train is soon going to be driving through a very, very, very long tunnel. And when it drives through the tunnel, it's going to be pitch black. When the train drives through the tunnel, you quickly open up your suitcase, you take off your regular overalls, and you change into big day shabas. and then eventually we'll come out of the tunnel and no you'll have the privacy you need. The farmer said, "Great idea." A few minutes later he sees the mountain, he sees the tunnel and they're bad. They say, "Yeah, this is it. This is it." So they go through the tunnel. He removes his under uh over um overalls. He removes his interv as they say. Yeah. The only thing is the tunnel was not as long as he anticipated and within a very brief amount of time the sun is shining. The sun is shining in broad daylight and they had a good laugh. says people think this world is a long long tunnel and they take off and they take off the bead of Tora. They figure they'll change back into their big day shabas before the tunnel is over. The problem is how often the tunnel ends before you ever get a ch a chance to put on your big day shabas. And when Rabban heard the the end of the joke, the end of the mash that the guy is standing there without his overalls and he's standing therean laughed. This was one of the three times that Raban laughed. So according to Bar Kapara, laughter has a place. uh the place is of Raaka when you see the success of the nations of the world when you see let's say the victors of the world cup you see how much they're in you see how much happiness they have you're allowed to laugh you're allowed to say and at first we could say didn't understand but ultimately when said him Rebi invited him to the party. So maybe that means that Rebi really agrees with asalana says that before you start learning you should be says at the end of the year you should also have a good joke like it says not only but you can't just come to the sh for the joke in the beginning and the joke in the end. It's good idea also to have some memory of what took place between thems of the beginning of the sh and the end of the sh that's also important because even whether you hold mitzvah definitely while you're learning and you're have a great night everyone I don't know why that got Yeah,