Hineini!

Okay, we are beginning a new Humash. Humash Vayikra. And Humash Vayikra begins with a Rashi that we really should have more often than once a year. Vayikra el Moshe Hakadosh Baruchu calls to Moshe. And this Vayikra el Moshe seems to be a dover nosef. Something more than the regular Hashem speaking to Moshe cuz the pasuk goes on to say Vayedaber Hashem elav. So one would imagine that Humash Vayikra could have begun with Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe may el mayed leymor if you want to mention el mayed. >> [cough] >> Vayikra el Moshe seems to be saying something else. Now, this is a big discussion here. Rashi, the Ramban. But Rashi says that Vayikra el Moshe is spelled out here. But really there was always a Vayikra el Moshe. Whenever there's Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe leymor, there's a hakdama Vayikra el Moshe. So after Rashi lechol dibros, ulechol amiros, ulechol tzivuyim, kodma kriya. That's very expressive of Rashi. To all the dibors, to all the amiros, and to all the tzivuyim. There was always a kriya first. Lashon chiba. Chazal explain the lashon chiba >> [snorts] >> is that Hakadosh Baruchu would say Moshe Moshe every time before he spoke to him. Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe leymor el benei Yisrael. Before daber el benei Yisrael was Moshe Moshe. And Chazal say that Teres Kayin says Moshe would respond hineini. So there was this back and forth, this summoning of Moshe, and Moshe expressing his readiness to veshama es dvar Hashem naaseh venishma every time there was a there was a deeper El Maisha. >> [cough] >> There's uh You know, it's interesting. There are other approaches to this Vayikra El Maisha that are expressed that seem to explain why it's Dafka here. You know, for example, uh uh Rashi says, I think in the end of Shemois, and the Ramban brings that um that Maisha was Nesiya Maisha was was was um he was uh concerned about entering the um the entering the the Mishkan because of Hashem on Mishkan. And therefore, Vayikra El Maisha is telling us in this case that was telling Maisha that even though Hashem on Mishkan, I still want you to come in. He's being Mazmin him to come in. So, it makes sense that the Vayikra El Maisha is here. But according to this Mahalacha of Rashi that Dibrei, so Mira, so the whole Tziuyan Kadma Kriya, one has to wonder why the Torah chose the beginning of Shemois Vayikra to begin with the word Vayikra. We name the whole we call the whole Shemois Vayikra. R' Tzadok says something it's very um very empowering and very um Mekhazeik in terms of how we relate to our Avodas Hashem. R' Tzadok says that we know that Maisha K'neged Kol Yisrael. We know that Maisha represents the Nishmas Yisrael, the connection of the Kol Yisrael to to to Torah and to Hakadosh Baruchu. Um And if the whole Dibrei, so the whole Tziuyan, the whole Kadma Kriya, so that means that every time that Hakadosh Baruchu has a command for us. Every time Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to do something, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to daven maariv, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to make Yom Tov, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to learn Torah, l'chol dibros, ul'chol amiros, ul'chol tziuvim, kodma kriah. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu calls out to us. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu invites us for the irrep- incalculable role of serving him, of serving the the King of kings. And Reb Tzadok encourages us that we should hear that call, that Mosha Mosha, that's being called to each one of us when it comes time to do a mitzvah, and we should respond as Mosha did, hineini. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I'm here. I'm making myself available. I'm present. I'm focused. I'm opening my arms. I am ready to be mekabel the the the the job, the mission that you're sending me to do. This would be true whether it's the missions that we all share, like what I mentioned earlier, Pesach or maariv or limud Torah. It's also true about the individual mission that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives for each of us, because as a person goes through life, a person is very blessed to discover the role that Hashem has for him in this world. And the mission that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has, and Hakadosh Baruch and no two people have the same journey. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu calls us to different um to do to be mesakein different things, to deal with different kinds of challenges, to to be achrayi for a mishpacha, for a tzibur, for oneself, for for the for the world. And to to to consider ourselves to be carrying a mission. So again, there's the mission of 613 mitzvos that we all share equally. And then there's all of the other parts of our avodah that we that are unique for us. The meaning that I took upon myself, but maybe you didn't, but I did. The humra that you took upon yourself for whatever reason, maybe I didn't, but you did. The mission in klal Yisrael that maybe you took upon yourself, it wasn't my mission, but it was your mission, and you and you picked that up. And that's also a lashon of of Moshe Moshe, where Kodesh Baruch Hu calls out to us. You know, and then people go through life, and sometimes part of the journey of going through life is discovering the the the place that Hakadosh Baruch Hu carved out for us to do our avodah. Sometimes it shifts, sometimes it shifts dramatically and instantly, and sometimes it matures and drifts over time. But there's a certain sense in our avodah in terms of uh fulfilling what it says in Shulchan Aruch and our avodah in terms of our own personal mahalakh of growth in our lives to say "Hineni" to the Ribono shel Olam, which is which is what? Which means to be mekhin ourself for avodah, to prepare ourself to serve Hashem. To not to go in beli da'as, not to go in without without um with going in without hakhanah is going in not like a mensch. It's going in without thought, without da'as. I spoke to my bochrim this morning about preparing for bein hazmanim. Remember there was such a thing? Um so we talked about preparing for for bein hazmanim and I begged them one thing. I said there's one thing, it's a life-changing thing. Don't go into bein hazmanim without thinking about it first. What's it going to be like? What am I going to do? What are the challenges? What's the mahalakh? And I said, while I'm at it, don't go into anything without thinking about that it first. That's what it means to be a bar da'as. A bar da'as doesn't just go with his impulses and his instincts. He's mekhin himself by [clears throat] "Vayomer Hineni." That's a hakhanah, being mekhin atzmi to an avodah by "Vayomer Hineni." >> [clears throat] >> If you think about it like that, that I think I'm saying is reasonable, if you think about it, Vayikra is the place to do it. Because Vayikra is the beginning of the avodas hakorbanos, and the carbon is the avoda that kind of sums up the the avoda of a person on this world. And that's why >> [cough] >> you know, this came up. I'll bring it out like this just for the especially for those that were involved with this. A few weeks ago I spoke about it upstairs on a little Shabbos. We had a group about it. We talked [snorts] about the din of shasuyei yayin. One of our speaking of one of our for um for for Purim was to learn the halachos of shasuyei yayin, like tfila, like different things. And if you learn the sugia of shasuyei yayin, it begins with parshas Naso, I believe. Right? You know, the the the shnei bnei Aaron. And the the shorish hakol is the the issur to be lamikdash after one drinks yayin. To go into the mikdash, to go into the Beis Hamikdash intoxicated. It's a chiyuv misah to go into the Beis Hamikdash intoxicated. It's the most severe of issurim. And when we were learning that, I couldn't help myself at the time but to express that that there's a reason for that. Because the Beis Hamikdash was a place for the avoda of an adam. And an adam is someone with daas, with seichel. Is someone who's not driven by his impulses, but uses thoughtfulness and preparation and consideration to guide his life and his decisions. That's what an Adam is. When a person drinks the Yayin, that the nature of wine is that it fogs up a person's like I'm putting them with the mitzvah whatever reason it is I'm putting them. And we call it Layada. Not thus. But that means that Yayin, wine obscures the Das, the Seichel of a person. That is the worst possible way to walk into the Beis Hamikdash because the Beis Hamikdash is the place for the Avodah of an Adam. And that's why Parshas Vayikra begins with the word Adam. Right? It doesn't say Ish Ki Yakriv Mikem Korban Lashem. It says Adam Ki Yakriv Mikem Korban Lashem. And look in Chazal. Look in Chazal that they they learn out of the Issur of Gozel by Korbanos from there because Adam Harishon didn't have Gozel. We refer that Adam is Adam Harishon. It's Adam. The concept of Adam. It's not just a man. Otherwise what does it say? Ish. And it's true that Chazal Darshen the word Adam, but there's a deeper meaning here that the Torah is saying Korbanos. Korbanos is about your Tzuras Adam. The concept of what was done in the Beis Hamikdash is the establishment of yourself as a servant of Hashem. Lemashal the Ramban. The Ramban who explains like what does Hashem need us to sacrifice animals? What does Hashem need that for? Hashem doesn't get hungry for meat. I think we could all agree on that basic principle. >> [snorts] >> So what what does it what does Hashem need that for? Of course it goes very deep and if you look at the Ramban, it's not our job to understand it, but if you look at what the Ramban writes up in Kabbalah, you realize that we are in well above our heads trying to understand the depth of the mitzvah of Korbanos, but the Ramban does us a tremendous chesed. And that is that even though he describes it up in Kabbalah, he says let Let also explain it in a way that we can all understand. And he explains >> [clears throat] >> that we all have different halakim. We all have We have the our neshama and our seichel that so desperately wants to serve Hashem and is so sensitive to ruchniyus. >> [cough] >> Ani kirvas Elokim li tov. So a certain sense that that that this is what I want. I want to be close to Hashem. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu also gifted us with a body that has other agendas. And it wants other things. It wants comfort. It wants to not move so much. It's atzlan. It's lazy. It doesn't like to move. It wants to experience pleasure and joy. And [snorts] And it's not motivated. The guf is not motivated to serve Hashem. But we know that there's an avodah of learning how to motivate the guf to serve Hashem. And how to bring the neshama and the guf together to create a oneness inside of us so that we serve Hashem together. Tzama nafshi l'Elokim Kel Chai. Libi uvisari Yir bisari my flesh sings to Hashem Yir'anenu l'Kel Chai. There's such a [snorts] thing as as as being me'orer that even my guf wants to serve Hashem. Dovid Hamelech said, Libi chalal bikirbi. My heart is dead within me. Chazal explain that it doesn't mean his heart was dead. If you read Tehillim, you see he was anything but dead. There was nobody more alive. What he meant was that he had managed to dis- to to to to to to bring to its knees every ratzei that was against the ratzon Hashem. Like Adam kiyamos ba'olam ein Adam zocheh ba'olam kemaimas atzmo leha'alah. He was able to get rid of all other desires except for the desire to serve Hashem. And that's why Dovid Hamelech is the one who's known to have said about himself that every time I try to go take care of mundane activities, raglai malichai asila madras, my legs just bring me back to the base madras. My legs is very very specific. It doesn't just say I wind up in the base madras. The regel is the part of the body that's furthest from the seichel. Right? Our feet are the part of the body that's furthest from the seichel. And David [snorts] Hamel says raglai malichai asila base Hamel, he means that I my rats into serve Hashem has penetrated every part of me. Even my goof, even the animal part of me is is is is is yearning is thirsting to serve Hashem. Raglai malichai asila base Hamel. By the way, we daven for this every day. We've talked about this before. We daven for this every day when we ask Hashem Do you know what I'm about to say? You know what I'm say? You hear what I'm saying for nacho shatargelenu vesair asacha that we should have habits that that that that reflect your Torah. Shatargelenu a hergel of Torah. You know? We're asking raglai malichai asila base Hamel. Ner leragli devarecha. David Hamel tells Hashem, your words are a are a are a a a flame for my legs. Ner leragli devarecha. The pasuk tells us that it shows me the way. But there's a deeper meaning there that I you your Torah Hashem has penetrated me so deeply that it goes all the way leragli. Ner leragli devarecha. The or lanisivasai. If that's the way we understand says the Ramban, that's why there's an act of putting an animal on the mizbeach and say like sending it to Hakadosh Baruch Hu so to speak, because that's a model of what we're doing with our lives. And it's an act of showing Hashem that part of me, that physical part of me, I'm giving it over to you. We don't sacrifice ourselves on the mizbe'ach. Avram was willing to sacrifice Yitzchak if necessary, but we don't sacrifice ourselves because we want to devote the rest of our lives to doing to serving Hakadosh Baruchu. That's not the way Hakadosh Baruchu set up the avodah, but rather we put the animal there and we say, "Yadov bimkom yadeinu and raglov bimkom ragleinu." Dechalifasei zat morasei. You know, like we we put the animal there in our stead and we say, "This act of sending the gashmius of the animal up to Hashem, that's how I'm devoting my life. I'm giving my life to you, Hakadosh Baruch. >> Why do you need a How does that tie in with You need a something physical to do that to show that you're doing it? >> Yeah, I mean, it's a it's an act of First of all, it's a it's a it's symbolic of it. And second of all, it's it's it's actually it because the beheima also is by nechasim. It's my kesef. It's my It's my gashmius. Right? It's a It's a tremendous act of of devotion to Hakadosh Baruchu to do that. So, if if the Torah was going to choose a place to say, "You don't just impulsively find yourself serving Hakadosh Baruchu. You're called. You're summoned by Hakadosh Baruchu. Kad makriah kriah shel chibah. Moshe Moshe." And you consider and you respond with your chiyus and your ratzon and your desire to serve Hashem, the place to put that is where it's going to say, "Adam ki yakriv mikem." "Vayikra el Moshe vayidaber Hashem eilav." Hashem summons Moshe Hashem and Moshe prepares himself to enter the world of avodah, and this these words "Adam ki yakriv mikem" encapsulate the entire world of serving Hakadosh Baruchu. I'm speaking about this now not just because it's the beginning of parshas Vayikra, but because of a because of a vart because of a vart that I once tied into my father when I was about 8 years old. I don't remember saying it, but my father has said it over to me a few times. Cuz we were learning in Yeshiva that the seder has to start after say Zachor v'Shamor. We don't do tosefes Yom Tov on Pesach. I'm saying we mekabel mekabel the kedushas yamim, but there's no there's no um Pesach starts when it starts cuz you have to wait until it's vada'i layla. So, you can't you don't start early. Cuz it has to be Pesach. So, as a little boy, I once said to my father, Pesach doesn't lose out. Because we prepare for Pesach a month before. That's when Pesach starts a month early. Right? By the time the Purim seudah is over, we're holding in Pesach. Shloshim yamim kodem Yom Tov Yom Purim atzmo, right? So, we're Etzem Pesach has the greatest hachanah, not the least hachanah. The whole we're wrapped up in the hachanahs for Pesach. So, what better time is there to focus on the concept of being summoned to do a mitzvah than when we're coming here to even getting together for a shiur trying to figure out how we're preparing for Pesach. That's weighing on all of our all of our minds and certainly our wives' minds. The the mashal the the object that represents for us for all time and all history the concept of preparing oneself for avodah is the kiyor. The kiyor is um is a keili whose purpose is hachanah. Right? It represents So you do the regular way and you do so. It's purpose is it's a it's function is Hakana, is preparation. And so incredible and so counterintuitive that the Kiyor was a Keili in the Beis Hamikdash. It doesn't make sense. The Beis Hamikdash is for serving Hashem. It's not for preparing me to serve Hashem. You know, someone goes to his wedding. He takes a shower at home. And then he comes prepared to do the what he does by his Hasana. The shower is not by the Hasana. That's the Avoda. That's the Makom Avoda. But that's not the way it is by the Beis Hamikdash. By the Beis Hamikdash one of the Klei Hamikdash is the vessel of preparing to do the Avoda. It's a mind-boggling Chiddush. One of the vessels in the Mishkan is the one that you wash your hands and feet. One would have thought that would be a sink in the back. And it didn't have to be made out of copper. It could be made out of anything cuz it doesn't matter. It's not so important. We were talking about this recently. Well, you know, there was a lot of the Kiyor is mentioned many times in the last few Parshiyos. >> [cough] >> They were talking about that like >> [snorts] >> um you know, you go to a Hasana and there's a beautiful beautiful hall, right? It's beautiful and there's fabric wallpaper and there's chandeliers and there's a hardwood floor and there's banisters and carpets and moldings and mirrors, right? It's beautiful. But if you find yourself in the kitchen which me always looking for a quiet place to talk on the phone often do you find yourself in the kitchen there's no moldings. Usually dirty whites and the blacks. That's what usually is. No, those that those that's part of the whole. There's no drapes, there's no moldings, there's no mirrors, because that's not the whole, that's the preparation. That's where they prepare the food. The food's not served there, that's where it's prepared. But that's not the way it was in the Beis Hamikdash. In the Beis Hamikdash, in the Mishkan, the vessel that was used for preparation, the sisak here and the choshes, the kana and the choshes lerachta, prepare this kali of hachana. And you see from here that preparing to do a mitzvah is a chosheve a part of doing that mitzvah. I always love to say over that the kiyor is the only kali that has its own hachana. Es hakiyor vees kanay. Of course it is the only kali that has its own hachana, because the kiyor is the kali of hachana. So it it it physically expresses it physically expresses its own essence, which is that it's a kali of hachana, so it has its own hachana. It has a stand. And and that's what What? I'll get into that. And that's what that's what really hachana is. Hachana is in your nefesh the platform that you build that your avodah goes on top of. No? It's the hachana that you create within yourself that you can do your avodah based on that. So the kiyor vekanay represents the whole concept of a kiyor. Rashi says that in last week's parsha we said that the kiyor was made bemara'os hatzovos, was made out of mirrors. The women donated they they used they didn't use glass for mirrors in those days, they used polished metals. And they used to use the copper. And the women all had mirrors, as women do. And the women gave their mirrors over. It was a that accepting the mirrors. But ultimately it was considered a of a kosher and the the mirrors the women sacrificed their own making themselves beautiful with mirrors. They sacrificed to give over to the Tabernacle. of the Ezra. I don't know if you've seen this, but just adds to the point here. of the Ezra. Listen to this. You know, this is like incredible. He says the name I'm reading the Ezra on Lamed Hess. Hess. Okay? He says the name of the nation. I have those Hashem. She's sorry me is there a alum? They turned away from the desires of this world. And to demonstrate that the snow marrow we say in the Dava. They gave their mirrors as a gift to God. They didn't feel a need anymore to make themselves beautiful. And listen to it doesn't end there. It wasn't just about what they don't do. It was also about what they do. How did they spend their time? They came each day to the doorway of the Tabernacle. The Tabernacle to the Tabernacle. They pray and listen. And to listen to the ways. Half flavor of Ella. He says the Tabernacle. Okay. So, and and if you think it's so too, and correctly so, that this Keli, this vessel of preparation, has its own preparation, and has a stand, and it's made out of objects that are used in preparation. Unbelievable. But if you think about what we're saying about the value and the preciousness and the greatness of Rachana, you could like understand it in that muscle. A woman prepares herself. You know, a girl gets ready to go out. A Kallah gets ready for a Chassana. In the preparation, in the making herself beautiful, how much yearning goes into that? How much dreaming about the future? How much hoping for connection, for for for for how much how much Koach HaNefesh are have those mirrors witnessed? And that the the the the possuk is telling us the Vayikra El Moshe is telling us that that's how we prepare for a Mitzvah, with all of that Ga'agu'im and all of that yearning and all of that Cheishek for that Mo'ed, for that meeting with Hakadosh Baruchu. Half leave a fella. A Tzaddik points out that the first Mishna in Shas says Me'eimasai Kor'in es Sh'ma ba'Arvis? Mish'aah shehaKohanim nichnasim le'echol Terumah. We say Sh'ma at night, the the the Sugya explains that these man Krias Sh'ma shel Arvis is at the time of Harav Shemesh. Harav Shemesh means that a Kohen became tamei, and he went to the Mikvah, and the Halacha is you have to wait until the sun sets before you can eat Terumah. So, at the [snorts] time that the Kohanim are permitted to eat Terumah, that's the time that we say Sh'ma at night. That's what the Mishna says. Rashi of Tzaddik, why doesn't it say may must occur in the by Irish Michelle Shakayam Oiklin the true muscle?" Why does it say Michelle Shakayam Nixon and that they enter to eat their true muscle? They eat their true muscle. They enter to eat their true muscle. What is that? He says the first mission in shots wants to tell you you don't impulsively do mix ways. You're Nixon like all the true muscle. You have to enter. You have to be thoughtful and deliberate when you do something when you prepare for a mix way. You're Nixon like all the true muscle. This Shabbos >> [cough] >> this past Shabbos [clears throat] I was away and I had the the unbelievable source of hearing the Rabbi Sachs speak a few times and he said over an Evan Ezra which is what brought me to this Evan Ezra. He said over an Evan Ezra that I was not aware of and I think it just takes everything that we're saying and just brings it to another awareness. He says how big was the Kiyor supposed to be? It doesn't say. What did it like how much copper they collected copper for the Kiyor? How much copper did they collect? Doesn't say. So the Evan Ezra says the light is Kiyor custom meters of Kiyor. The Torah does not mention the dimensions of the Kiyor. Kasha his Kiyor meters of Kiyor also Schliemann right with Schliemann and Kiyor it says that the measurements of them. Rack NASA the Kiyor was made the whole hamara is Shaviyu. Anybody that had a mirror to give guaranteed it's going to be included in the Kiyor. We're not leaving out a single mirror. If there wasn't enough if someone gave gold and you had to build the iron and it was too much gold, it didn't go into the urn, it went into something else. I know there's an Akiva that somehow everything found its way in, but but but but it turns but but the the dimensions tell you it has to be a certain amount. The kiyur, the Torah says as much as the women give, that's what we are going to take. That's going to be the size of the kiyur. Said Rabbi Soloveitchik, I think such a thoughtful thing. He said, mitzvahs we have to do the way they're told to do. He said, how long does it take to eat matzah? K'dei achilas matzah, however long that is. A few minutes. How long does it take to shake a lulav? Done. Shook the lulav. You do your na'anu'im, another few seconds. It takes no time. How long does it take to prepare to shake a lulav? That's endless. That's endless. How much passion, how much yearning, how much ko'ach, how big you build the platform to do the mitzvah, that's endless. So he said the vessels of avodah, they are measured because they're a dinim of a mitzvah, they have a start and a finish. But the passion that you put into a mitzvah, the hachanah, the preparation that you put into a mitzvah, the yearning that you put into a mitzvah, that is limitless. As much as you yearn, Hakadosh Baruchu will take it. As much as you wait for that moment that you can say Asher Kidishanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al achilas matzah. All of the ko'ach that we put into making that happen, spending the tremendous amount of money on matzah, cleaning our houses to prepare them to be able to host the Pesach, doing all the other mitzvahs of the seder, >> [cough] >> leading up to this moment Asher Kidishanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al achilas matzah, all of that Hashem includes in the in the mitzvah of matzah. That's doesn't have a g'vul. That doesn't have a beginning or an end. That's all the passion and yearning and preparation and thoughtfulness and hachana to a mitzvah that nichnasim lechol bichyurei masam, that is limitless. The doorway of that nichnasim is limitless. And I think it's something for us to be mechazek ourselves as we go into this parshas Vayikra. >> [clears throat] >> Next Shabbos is already Shabbos Hagadol. So, this this parshas Vayikra getting ready mechiras chometz. We're going to start be'ezras Hashem next week. We're going to start mechiras chometz. And and everything that each one of us has to do and all the personal cheshbonos and maasim and hanhagos that each one of us has to go through to be ready for the yetzias Mitzrayim that we're going to experience taf shin pei vav yetzias Mitzrayim taf shin pei vav. And boy, can we use some yetzias Mitzrayim right now. So, all of that is this is this is our signal. This is our signal to start being mechin ourselves. Take out sefarim and learn about the inyanim of the Yom Tov. Take out halacha sefarim and learn the halachos of the Yom Tov. Prepare with a smile on your face. It's a korban. It's a kiyur. The preparation also, if we prepare in a rotten mood, but it's a kiyur. It's also a keili in the Mikdash. The preparation is also a keili in the Mikdash. So, the hislavos and the simcha and the ga'aguim with which we prepare is also part of the avodah. Right? That's what comes out. So, let's prepare with a certain hislavos. Let's try. It's very difficult. Yom Tov could be stressful. And it it could sometimes rub against shalom bayis a little bit, the stresses of erev Yom Tov. Let's try to use our koach. We're not perfect. We're not perfect. Lo nitna Torah l'malachei hashareis. And our wives aren't perfect. >> [cough] >> But let's try to gather our strength to prepare for Yom Tov with passion, with gishmak, with simcha, and the sham will be able to be like able to be the right pair of a huddle and to be the misses of Yom Tov. Yesh koach.