Holocaust #1- I'm a second generation survivor, history, lesson: Celebrate life not death- RC Dalfin

I'm starting out series of um Holocaust. What does Kaim do have to do with the Holocaust? I'm a second generation Holocaust survivor. I don't say that to evoke your sympathy. I don't say that to make myself vulnerable. I want to talk about the issue because it's relevant to hundreds and thousands of people worldwide, Jew, non-Jew, everyone that's been that comes from a Holocaust family. Today we're already in the fourth generation of Holocaust survivors, children of Holocaust grandchildren, great-grandchildren. I am the second generation. So I am kind of the generation that's still around to tell the story because most Holocaust survivors are gone. My intent with this is to understand the wonders of Hashem, of God Almighty, how wonderful and beautiful God Almighty is, not withstanding the atrocities of the Holocaust, which we don't understand and we shouldn't understand. But nevertheless, what we do understand is that we're here. We're here to tell the story and we're here more importantly to learn from the story and to help everyone, ourselves and everyone else grow and benefit and ultimately bring the final redemption to the world through the Messiah, through the righteous Messiah, the Jewish Messiah. So a little background, my grandparents were from my mother's side from Poland and from my father's side from Romania. In Poland, as you know, the war started, I think it was September 18th on a Friday and not September 18th. I take that back, September 1, I believe. Anyway, so on September 4th or 5th, this is documented, not this is documented in the SS books, the German books. It's in Berlin today in their library libraries and archives. It's documented that um the first purging without permission done by the SS was in a little village called Krasniltz. Krasnach Schilz is probably about 40 miles 35 40 miles from Warsaw and it's a village. The next kind of big bigger city not a village is Makov Majett where my mother was born and 20 minutes from there is Warsaw the capital of Poland. Anyway I was there I went to visit Warsaw Makov Masett and Krasna Shields and more about that in later segments of this podcast. Anyway, the war broke out and my greatgrandfather Usher Anchil Hakohhen Ouggin last name Ouggin who davened in the shul in Kasnas shields which is still standing but unfortunately it's a a corn silo but I was there the outer building looks exactly the way it was before the Holocaust before the Nazis Yakim may their name be erased. He dive into that shul and on Septe the night of September four or five they came in the SS they they tied everyone up and they burnt the shul they they burnt the people put the lit the shool on fire and in the back of the shul today there is uh not in the back of the shoe in the in the outside yard there's a public grave with a with they put up a stone a monument with about 30 40 names although my great-grandfather's name doesn't appear there but my grandmother Hindafa uh Vidoslav and we'll talk more about her and you know she's a key central figure in this podcast. Anyway um she always told us that 70 80 people were burned. So you know on this stone there's only about 30 40 but I would say there was there was more. He was one of them. Naturally when they saw that they they they started to run you know you have to get out of here. Where are we going to run towards? But my grandmother Hindafa her husband was Kim Yakov who I'm named after he according to my figures was was killed was murdered about September 13th 14th uh in Makov I believe he was identified so she wasn't an auna she wasn't a chained woman she and she came to the the pit where they put him in someone said that he was murdered shot and murdered and they threw him into a pit. I believe she came there to verify and um at that point she said we have to run. Luckily the border between Russia and Poland closed I believe September 17th. So she made it out in time and that's how she, my mother and her sister, which we'll talk about in a moment, her younger sister and her aunt and grandmother survived because they ran towards Bialastto and from Bialastto they went into Russia. I found documents in the in the uh Makov city hall. I went there with a very fine gentleman, a historian, a Polish person who who spoke Polish to the people and they were gave me copies of my mother's birth record and my grandmother's marriage certificate. We finally found out the exact date of my mother's birthday. I have it. It's very, it's in Polish and I had some people translate it for me. What I saw on the birth on the on the marriage certificate is an interesting thing. The name of the rabbi, Rabbi Zilberg, who who's the family's known scholars, Talbid, and he was the the the ra of the rabbi of that shoo in Krashniltz and other shs in that area. I think maybe his first name was Benyaman. I don't remember now. And uh the custom was that the three either shabas or holidays before the actual day of marriage they would make an announcement in shul that so and so is going to marry so and so and it says in the document that that was done why it was done that way we could speculate I don't know you know my grandmother would always repeat and told my sister Raul how how religious the people were to going to the mikvah and that you know by making these announcements kind of jeul you were on the hook to go to the mukva you couldn't play games now I mentioned this because in Poland at the time in the 1930s she got married 1935 in Poland the time there was modernity to say the least The youth were infiltrated with Zionism. The youth movements, Benaka, they aka religious Zionism, but even the secular Zionism, the bundas, Yiddishistan, communism from the from Russia, there was all kinds of isms taking place. The youth were falling falling away. In fact, just as an aside, the previous senter students to various yeshivasidic yeshivas to keep the youth in line with theiridic customs, not to not to shave their beards, not to take off their long frocks, their long jackets, etc. This is the 1930s, 31, 32. So, we see clearly there was a modernity happening. So it makes sense to me that you know they made these announcements kind of putting this pressure you know you know on on the kala and the kassen to do what they have to as a religious orthodox observant uh and kala bride and groom. Be that as it may, my mother was born in 1936 I believe August 14th. August 14th or 16th I have to check again. Anyway, and life was nice. 36 37 even though Hitler started his you know rise of power in 1933 but relatively speaking that was in Austria in in Germany and uh until 1938 Crystal Knock November I believe Crystal Knock November 38 things were relatively calm. Then came Crystal Knock and that caused an entire uproar in in in the region and people really got worried. But got worried doesn't mean you act upon it. You know, it's like we're experiencing our own issues today here with anti-semitism and everything else and we're worried and we talk about it. What are we doing about it? Not much. Life goes on. Anyway, in 1939, the war breaks out. My great-grandfather is murdered. And uh my grandfather, who I'm named after, Kaim Yakov was his name. Kaim Yakov Burstein Bourstein. Burstein, I don't think it was Bronstein. Burstein married Hinda Oen. And they had two children, two girls. my mother Miriam of blessed memory and her younger sister a year and a half younger Kayasura when they went to when they ran out on the way to Balastto she became Kayasura wasn't feeling well so they hospitalized they put her in the hospital when they came to take her to to continue going towards Russia she was nowhere to be found I grew up hearing that she could have been a test case for Mangala yakim Um, I don't know. I have no verification. I looked high and low in the records to try to locate this little girl, but I didn't find anything because if there was a record of my mother's birth, which by the way, the the record says it was it was signed in 1937, but it says she was born in 36. So, it looks like they had up to a year, maybe even longer, to to record the the birth. And and I forgot to mention, I actually saw the the the book of records pre-Holocaust brown paper. It's like became brown, but I saw it. I held it in my hands. I made a copy of it because the day they computerized everything. But of Kayasura, I couldn't find anything. I'm still looking. If anyone has any leads, let me know. Kayasura. Uh Burin. Burstein. Anyway, there was no time, you know, for mourning or or crying. You had to go because otherwise you're going to be the next victim, the next uh person slaughtered. So, they continue running into to to Russia. My grandmother Hindafa was a powerhouse of a woman, a very fiery personality. Nothing could stop her and she made her way to the Kremlin in those years. This is what she always told us. And that's for some reason, I don't know, maybe to get papers. I I don't know exactly what I don't know much about my grandfather. I know absolutely almost nothing. Unfortunately, you know, I'm 65 now. When I was uh 20, 25, I didn't have the the brains, the seel to sit them down, my grandparents, the survivors, and say, "You got to tell me the story. You got to tell me details." when we're young, we're ambitious, idealistic, and uh we don't take time to look at the past because the past we see as a black hole against the past. Now, so many years later, as someone who was involved in history and anthropology, studying people and communities and understanding the past, present, and the future, which we'll get to, God willing, soon in the in in the future. It's uh it's important but I didn't do that. So I can't tell you much about my namesake Yakov. I'm known as Kaim Dolphin but my I have two names. Kim Yakov or some would uh lovingly or punlike sayyank. He's a kamyank. In the traditional Jewish community when you say he's a you mean oh he's a yeah he's a neb. He's a neb. you know he's well it happens to be my name I don't think I'm a neb but anyway so I've lived all my life with this name and the name represents death murder the name represents an atrocity and I've thought about this and think about it very often I can't say every day, but very often. And what I want to tell you to end the first segment of this podcast is that I grew up in a Holocaust home. I'm a second generation Holocaust survivor, but I grew up happy, healthy, successful, a winner. I don't look at my life and where I came from and the everything I've told you till now as a reason to be morbid and depressed. It's definitely sad and it's definitely something we don't understand. But there's no question that when God brings a person into this world and he and that person has the merit to live and live life, you need to celebrate. You need to celebrate life. And I'll end with this famous story the of the saw someone saying over there man his foundation is earth dust and he will end up his end result will be dust returning to the dust and the person has his talis on and as he says those words. He puts it more over his head and he cries bitterly. He can't contain himself, control himself. It's it's terrible. I'm going to be dust. What am I? And the holy kutsker the hba heard it and he turns to the person in the middle of a middle of the ding and he says if it would say a man comes from dust and return dust and that's it. It's very sad. But if you know in between you can celebrate life and toast in between being born from dust and dying returning to dust and in between you have a chance to say to celebrate life to life to life to life to life. You should be the happiest person. My dear friends I leave you with that message. There's a past, there's a present, there's a future. Okay? The past, there were things that were very difficult, atrocities. We don't understand. The future is bright. And you know why the future is bright? Because today we the present make it bright. Go make yourself a better day. Zygusant.