Asking a Shaila - A Practical Guide - Rabbi Yakov Zev Smith

like to welcome everyone to today's sh from Ask practical guide [sighs] sponsored the great source of sponsoring call email.com. >> Someone asked me recently he has a mini quote that when he ask he shops around for a [snorts] ka he says what does that mean? He knows some. So he goes to the Mel and he heard that might be questionable. Is it a minig or is it like they say is that proper? Now I want to be talking about today when we ask you who are we're talking about that are reliable you're aim they're not they're but someone that doesn't deserve to pass we're not talking about we're talking about that are respected by their kah can I go to the r of my choice when I know who's make in this respect so know I'm not looking for a sock I'm looking for a but I'm getting it from a reliable pic And this leads us to then the second question. Let's say you ask a RV and there's not your your your RV is not around. You ask a second RV and he's M. Is it M to get a second opinion to go to a different RV and again a a respectable RV? And if he says mut and if his follow him why can't I follow him as well? And this is really the springboard to probably 20 plus questions about the very important but the challenging suggesting a sha how do I approach it so the first question seems to be the end of the discusses the famous is in the And the says that was you want to look like fine also good but you can't mix and match let's say a person looking for kers so is very I'm going to take the coolers Russia that's a scary word call someone a Russia I each one his own is is a obviously you can't shop for but what's important for us is the second someone is just the opposite he's a and he looks for he takes the in other words this person is groping a darkness. He doesn't have a RV. Who's his RV? Whoever is MA, that's not a RV. And accuse him of a terrible crime. He's going in darkness. Now, you're wondering what's wrong with being number one. And number two, why the accusation of of [clears throat] so the embassy have to realize one thing as a not true? We pass like So one terret is before they were before the basics is not talking about it's talking about any including tough when there's a sh and a hill and there's no you could follow your p as long as you are consistent you follow your pik who's some means your p even though he might be in some very so the is giving us guidance a person has to follow his to take all the kus is a russ take all the is but it still needs a what's wrong with being a on both accounts so the answer is very posit that's a biz ofra tora is the ultimate you know the ender giml is an incredible thing is but tora is the greatest and you think you're groping in darkness. You think you don't know how to what to do. We have to be we're not groping in darkness. We have a clarity. We have a and I'll tell you something more and that's the we have to understand the he spells it out that if someone follows a he could follow him even if this is is in why because that's the privilege of in fact he says more even if you follow a written you follow the rift suck or the rack that's the m the rabb gives the point is we are not groping in darkness we have guidance now of course a person sees oh it's always that's the beauty of that's but we have a clarity and that's following a person that thinks he must take all the is being that's not the it's not the shank out He he quotes he quotes. I'll tell you one of them in Shabas where we know is but if someone doesn't have an ismo he can't make an ismo on Shabas because that's not held it and city they did that in city they did what the rest of considered but no problem you follow your he's you could be the inim says the Same idea he brings the same in fact but he does add you could follow a po even after he passed away if you follow his someone that follows the mist and everything it has a tremendous guidance and then I saw in to learn that stickle it's a beautiful tries to explain why he has he took the quote audacity to after all what do I know says I have no he only learned 200 times so he writes who am I to want to pass and you see he says but this we find that a person that puts all his into learning and he says you have to have and he comes to a conclusion that becomes quotes that we mentioned in Shab is and says it beferish even if it's to make so the absolute truth is that you know how to do that but in but they follow thereof and they did in fact says that a little later there was a terrible from the on but on this city they weren't so you know why it was a simay you did right you followed your pis So even if it's not it is because overrides the absolute a person that has a has a he has a he has a he has a of and it is so that's why it's a person that thinks he has to be because he's groping in darkness he's really being maz he's maz are the clerk of Tory. We are not groping a darkness. You ask a shila and you feel confident and maybe that's really why we find something unusual. There's a Mishna in that says the same thing just twice in the same per in the importance of know that's very very clear. So we know the Mish don't repeat but the same peric twice the same but could be and this is probably one of the many the first one is a person has to have a rebi a guide the rebi [snorts] the rash whatever it is that's basically watching him keeping tabs with him it's like a good friend it's a guide it's a mash it's a it's a a person that you grow up with he helps you when you questions that's very important. A person is living in a world full of challenges. But then there's a another tremendous benefit on a on a daily basis and that is a person has fus he has question what to do not only in but in how what to do with him which technology taken to his house what he should do with his money I mean there's so many shas that we need guidance and sometimes to be mir could ruin a shas I've heard this many times times some experts. Some have one of the one one one of the spouses is being too that's out out of the range of the other one and you leave a tremendous rift. Just like you can't say when something when something is you can't say when something is mut. We know the famous. So the question is you're saying so I understand what you said is I said mut terrible crime but what's the crime it's a crime the says it's mut why do you think it's sometimes it comes from it's OCD it's groping in darkness but that's not that's not the of that's a weakness of a person I once heard when I was a child I don't know who said this but the word saf is exact gamatria of the word amik. They're both 240 saf is amalik. A person has he starts with small and ends up with big but he's living a life of uncertainty. What it does to his his his emotional health to show him bias. It's terrible. It it's turns off children. My father's always worried never he's always nervous what to do. And and this is so much not the Hashem because just like you can't say on on that's you can't say on that's awesome. And that's why just to give a person a confidence reassuring feeling he knows what he's doing [clears throat] and this always was the way lived. Don't forget not long ago people lived in and it was the norm. There was a RV amass and naturally you had you go into your RV. He was your pisk. He was your guide. He was your mashk. He was your best friend. You know today in in in a typical street in Brooklyn there are two ra on one block could be two schools on one block or more. So it's a little confusing but more than confusing it leaves a tremendous saka. A person could theoretically live his life without having a rov. And I I I knew someone from the yes is yeshiva and he was a younger man already and it was obvious he was slipping and sliding and falling all in one. He was mom is having a reada and I felt that my my responsibility. I said so I I started from an angle. I said by the way what do you have? She when I said during the week okay so he smiled I have five shs for shabas. Oh really? What's another probably in the minion close to the manish afternoon and he's probably from the Mar but he had five shs. So I realized that's his problem. I don't have to go pro further. Five shs and no RV. Now even if he gives Mal money to all the but he's missing the security he's missing the of and that's why people could slide people could have problems and they don't they don't they don't turn to anybody and no one is even aware of it because no one feels responsibility cuz he comes to me shabas afternoon it comes to me Friday night I I wish I had more time to talk about this but the point of in our society every younger man needs a r even a woman needs her poin in in gimlik bay writes something very powerful he says this to make a division inra I as of my shis but in in personal questions or inashm that's my decision so he says this division is a shall of those that throughout the dyus were That was the most powerful weapon, the deadly weapon of a former conservative. You do do what you want in business, in personal life, kaduca, all that stuff. That's up to you. The you ask him out on a chicken or kashab is but a person has to have a rough for this as well. And let me say one final point and then we'll get to the the second year of the suga. But the the importance of asking Shilus you know that's a raw like a compounded double what is double. So one says he takes Gim but he doesn't do a good job. He doesn't doesn't research it thoroughly. Then another someone's a he's on a and he came to him. He knows what he's doing and he fell through this to the current. But you know what the double ra is? You have a in the city. You could have asked them. You could check it out with them. You could run it by him. Means a person could ask a sh and he doesn't. Now this is talking about a d a practicing obviously. But if we have the privilege, we shouldn't squander it. Now I'm not saying you have to ask and everything. I mean you have to you have to cherish the time. Don't bother him. But very often in life we have our buyers. We have our own and we don't see it clearly. And the only say the remember once told me he said I said fine I don't know where he's driving at he says he wrote briefly all and very often he says what kind of what kind of is that said that's a very wise sometimes there's no you can find it in the only say your situation your particular case very often say so you have to use it. So that's why asking a sh a person has a rub he's not hopping around for coolers he asks his shas to this rub that's he gets to the guy the clite. So now let's talk about the second question and that is is it true that that once you ask one RV you can't get a second opinion. Let's say you think maybe the first RV was making a mistake. I mean very often it happens you have your rub but he's uh very busy. He's a an elderly Rub. So you go to the younger and it's back and you think maybe he wasn't uh he's not accurate. Maybe he did it too quickly. Can you ask a second opinion? [clears throat] So both said [clears throat] once the said it's awesome you can't say the first said gives two examples now right away we think oh this is the you're not going to ask a second but that's wrong it's not the says the gmorra is saying The isa is on the second r. If the first r said, the second r can't say mut. We don't yet see there's an isa for me and you the ask a second opinion. In fact, in we could almost say it's maybe it's a good idea. It makes a healthy pressure on the first row of you better think this through cuz I'm going to check up. I'm going to ask someone else. You know it makes a healthy cipher. So who said this the issa on me to ask a second r are you wondering so if I'm if I can ask a second r so why can a second raskin so here's what what comes out that I can ask a second r look into the sug if you the second r could convince the first he made a mistake oh once he made a mistake then I I follow the right s but maybe there is no issa on me or you as to ask a second opinion and the truth is from the that would be the correct assumption. But there's a third and that's if me or you asked a and says very funny words but once I ask the first I can ask a second rub. Oh, this already is an on. But look how true our our approach is. Ask a question. Why can't I ask for a second opinion? All I'm doing is getting clarity. I'm going to make the second r look into the suga. If he could convince the first rub that Rob made a mistake, I ended up by the truth. and Ty says what's wrong with asking and says by doing that we end up with the clarity inra so we're looking for clarity this often brings out the clarity but asked the from a different angle says where yman's wife had a showed it to show to a m who said tell me then she asked So Frank, how did she go to how did she go to a how could how did the sec how did override but is another how did ya go to a second so it's not y is rabbit but how did she do it how did she ask a second row so is list of the clite the only isa is on the second row to override the first sack. But if a second let the let the first r look into it and if you think you're right prove it. If you think you're wrong then admit. So the gumarist both gumar seem to be saying that there's no isa on the first on on on the ask a second opinion. But now it doesn't make sense. What do you gain by asking you the second r can't override the sack? So here says very simply your side me and you the we asked the first he said awesome and I think maybe he's wrong. I have a right to I'm allowed to go to a second sayan I asked this r the shah he said such and such I think he might make a mistake I put it in your hands. If the rv could prove that the first r is wrong and you can speak to him fine. If not, I'm I'm back where I started. The on the in both places is you go to the second as if what's this? Oh, wonderful. That's an why you're being the second in our but there's no asking second opinion if you do it right. What does it mean doing it right? You tell the second R listen I'm don't know anything. The first R said, it doesn't sound right. I'm putting in the second R's hands. If the second R could prove it, fine. So here we see and this is all in. It's interesting. There is no ram to or on this at all. The one is the the he says he first tells about the the second can't override the first that's the then he says if the first the one that as sh once they get a second opinion he could do it providing he follows Ty's requirement of telling the second telling the first r telling second rub I asked the child already please discuss it with it with that first r. Now of course I want to be clear ra have tremendous qualifications they have the ability to paskin and they have a sight to the I am not saying we should always question the sack this kumar obviously is talking a case where a person feels that there is a question you know Thursday someone told me this story he says his uncle I know the person very well he told heard from his uncle went to with a few shers in raas having a hard time pasking said he says no but I'm I'm just wondering he goes you know I noticed when I have to p I have a it flows here I was struggling I knew something is wrong please don't ask me if it's you come back to me but don't ask me you look at the chas how he writes with such a confidence with such a tremendous in himself so of course we're not advocating always questioning the ris Easy, right? But we do do say the following. We do see Mid Gomorrah that once the RV pass the second RV is not allowed to override the unless he proves that it was a a far as the is concerned. Mean he could ask a second opinion but he has to do it properly by telling the second RV. I asked the Shila the first RV if you could discuss it. I would like to hear the clarity. Now before we apply this to the probably 20 plus sh we have one more point we have to clarify what's tak wrong a we learned to it's wrong what's tak wrong with the second saying mut when the first said he has his own license he has his own qualifications what's wrong so obviously the simple is it's a question of harav of the first one the first pas what are you doing you're positting overriding your sack or or the is is sneaking behind his back and asking a second opinion where's your you know the not the is not a a delivery that you know return to sender I'm not interested he's asking and indeed the where the is the says that his feeling why it's awesome to for the second to override the first of and it's very understandable. However, most learn a different sha and I'll quote the lion that derive it the the round quotes arrive it but you'll see it's the raan it's it's many other it's the raan it's the it's the and basically what they say is when the first pin that this is this chicken is tra this is the rv proclaimed this chicken is awesome you can't eat it. So and now this sounds very familiar to a famous and says walks in the bed and they have no idea who she is and she says I'm anious is so says then she can't rem she can't get married until she proves she has a gap I we don't have a she's anious ish but now here I look carefully all the show the rabban rivid the rash all say who is that going on they all say it's going on the ro the said this chicken is they the made the chicken trave now I always thought and I think that makes more sense that if the ask the what's with this chicken and the rav says awesome so for me it becomes awam I ask the but they all say the that's going on the r you know why because they're both No, the RV is qualified to say, not me. I don't know anything. The RB says a but since I asked the R up and I submitted myself to his and he said, so it goes two steps. First the R said it's a and then I so the say oh buy that chicken. It looks strange to me. Don't eat it. I didn't ask him. He can't pos. But if I ask him that's so I think both are true and I'm happy I found in the he makes this second step as well. So even though they say it's also shi of the first of the so now we have a clite let us apply this to the many sh so let's start with a simple sh someone asked the sham and the says awesome and he thinks maybe it's mut or he hopes it's whatever he's dreaming whatever so he wants to go to another ah you're not supposed to do that and so it's you know the oldest line of defense when you don't like today is whatever that means. I don't know why today is different but his point is you know what do they know already so I can't say that that's he's the first to think of that because you can look it up he quotes from I don't have but he quotes from that says that he quotes that basically he says that today's since their are not as qualified as they used to be. There's no den of that's not part now. However, proves conclusively that's not true and he quotes other places say this even and the base which is on the page on our on our says that the reason why some is he says it today he is not a he's more like the I mean they must had very interesting but all the say that there's no difference today or times And the embass is that this is really one of the basics of our because let's be honest we don't have a we don't have a we don't have today does that mean that the whole system doesn't work we forgot one does the says what's you want me to go to to to No, the your of today is not is a far cry from but he has the same. [clears throat] So believing the pre previous generations is what bigger is correct but it has a very damaging effect. You know, once someone said, he said, you know, someone told me, he said, I have a hard time relating to I said why I knew was but where did he come close to to previous he sounds like he's very idealistic, but it's he forgot a so just like it's true we don't have like I'm But would the have the same the same the way the explains why do you have to follow a smile because he's the one that and he's the he's the conduit for the so even though you're right he's a far cry from the previous generations but he has the same so that's why although I did see such it's not accepted now on whom is the is so let's be clear the real is on when the first R was. But if the goes sneakingly to the second without telling and not telling that the first he's put the second R into a now the next question and that is a person was he asked the first R said and in a moment of weakness he asked the second said M this is no sh so he didn't have it fine okay so can he rely on that it's you know there's always and you might even say once he's okay so I'll ask him can I at least listen to the answer absolutely not you still have the main reason of this is a for you the made it you can't accept another override it unless as we'll soon see the first is that he made a mistake as explained if the thought it's and he said it's really so there's no it's a but absent that the admitting he made a mistake this is it doesn't make difference if you have a hund saying this became a for you and this in the says the sh quotes them as well This is not just a a analite or issue. It's a issue. Even the RV becomes now again let's say the RV the first RV wants to retract because he says you know I don't want to argue with this there the bigger he's doesn't help only helps for the reason number one of but for the reason of of becomes the of that doesn't It only he only helps if he like and he says it again if he says I made a mistake I said on that's question the beautiful styl an older RV a very experienced RV but the Rav was out of not available so he asked the younger Rob and the R said Tommy or Assa and he for some reason he doesn't trust the first Rub So he wants to go to the second a greater to take the sh his another beautiful because if the only reason would be I could understand that in such a case the knows that the second is been before I was born so there wouldn't be a problem but since the main reason as the say the main reason is if the first r was a r and you submitted So for you it doesn't make a difference what the MS is. It's no different than that then it becomes the and spell out you can't ask the second now there are I should mention is seems to be but for us we have to realize that it's much more to say that the reason is now if someone has a suffic in if he's allowed to ask a second. So that would be a gimmel says a suffic that you're allowed to say and you could ask him if you have a legitimate suffic I'm not sure. Could could a person go to a big another who does have a clarity? So that say and he has a if the first r says I'm saying it's not it's he can't he doesn't have the plates to be to to say one with the other. So that's not it's not you go to a second if the r says I see no sh that's fine. A once had the sh he asked the RV and he forgot the he doesn't know. So he said once I'm asking can I ask a new RV? I he says no because if it's possible the first R said so you have that doesn't change because you forgot. So you still have so find out what he says he says good. If says then you have question someone asked this to me and I'm going to repeat his words. I want to ask but I'm afraid he'll say awesome. Then I ask somebody else. Can I tell him I'm asking you but I'm not gonna necessarily follow what you say. I said that's not just lack of that's so the dial you know. So forget about this. But the truth is again I'm afraid to say this but if the the has more tact he says I'm not going to tell him of anything but I'm saying I'm going to say it I am not I want to hear what he has to say. So again if that's you know obviously not the same level of but it could be it in this case we don't have the problem of shab is not a person has the right has right to and that becomes real I could ask and I want to hear but if I say that I really never wanted to ask could be there's no but then again there's still the is of the of the he wasting his time he just you're going to use him only as a cool or is he dial a koola? So it's not the right thing but I think you don't have to tell him to his face I'm not listening to you that's that's a terrible terrible but just basically if there's no shi at least you don't have that concern now why do I say that I'll take another someone comes to and the speaks about an issue that he has and says it's also does the not the show does the who heard does he have to listen necessarily I mean if I had why he come to not listening but there's No did a sh in that case because he didn't ask the what he thinks. He came to hear the See there we're going to use this word. There's no shave and but also there's no is not talking just to you and your toy. He's wasting his time. I'm going to only listen to you if you say I won't tell him that but I'm just going to waste his time. I mean it's not it's not that lack is or this today very common people send a sh or a few to numerous 20 in fact and you have a list of shas some is even right while putting together want to hear different so that's not looking for that's looking so there there's no shap and there's no and that's pretty common people send these type of shas I mean maybe I have to be more considerate sender of 20 shilas you know one after the other but at least it's not you don't have the if I ask you I'm going to follow because he understood that you're not necessarily going to follow the sh that was that he had mut but he didn't know that the ashra already said that this thing is awesome so the shila is can you listen to the is one ram mut I the astra said also I didn't ask a so this I saw the has this sh says this is totally the two reasons because if the if the is then you're stepping on the toes of of the but I didn't ask the so maybe I should have asked him but it doesn't make it I have to listen to so that's what he wants to Okay. And basically he says that especially if he didn't if the didn't know that took a stance in this question then maybe it's not it's not but the as we probably realize today don't see I mean they have small you still have there's a gate set and there's a probably in in in anorb and in these we have mamas with all the maybe other cities but certainly in Brooklyn there is no moradas mo says in a different context that today the concept doesn't seem to be prevalent partially because of the mits but it's a beautiful in two reasons someone asked me this Friday he called he wanted to call his r with the shil and he pressed he dialed the wrong number he called another r so you can't hang up on the r the rvs have you know they have the call ID why is he hanging up on him so he know what to do so he asked the r but he didn't want to hear the >> then I can understand it's not maybe what he do hang up on the R. No, if he could have been a little more, you know, crafty and thought of a different child, but something like that he goes with a that's perhaps not a steer but stop to do things and take the just as as abuse that's what it is calling not asking not listen to his opinion that is severely lacking a beautiful sh the first r said mut and for some reason you're not so comfortable with the can you ask a second r now here the person is he's not looking for he's looking for an ism. He doesn't like the so this is a beautiful zil cuz if the is if the reason is out covered of the first one the wrong you don't trust him but if the is if the first and quotes there's a printing error says supposed who says this very shilar says says that means if he the first is there's there is no problem but then again he says that since the one of the reasons is it should be a problem even if the first was and that's the of the gimmel that There is a there is a problem of the of the first. However, I saw learns literally says when the first was and seems to be if you asked a second opinion, the first was the once said oris goes with the goita that once the pas All makes in other words the least enough of I should say enough of is now the quotes is so this a person really wants they're definitely what it's but I'll tell you an interesting and Here's the story. A rav he asked the Rav and the Rav said mut. Okay. Now then he thought he ask a second. The R said also. Then he heard he did something wrong because he should have stepped up with the first R. You have to listen to the second that says also. So here it's like allowed to ask a second opinion and you asked. He said it's awesome. But even like the you're not allowed to ask a second. But once you asked and he said clearly that it's a you have a serious shave and a at hand the said a and you listen to so it makes sense that if I asked the first rub and he said and I asked the second I said and even the second r is is not qualified because it's it's it's but I asked the first one said mut second said Then all agree that and who says this not me. Listen to their beautiful not makes his in the says once the verses done then the discusses the first said the second said the second shouldn't get involved stay out of it the said stay out of it on the pages let's say the second did no whatever he says Yes. Because the this created a legitimate shave and a which the second person which the submitted to and therefore lives also. So you have a beautiful de and all based on this bas question someone asked came to or came to it's even more common a few say together and he asked one and start saying it's and someone shout what do you mean it's mut and before he walked out he realized that he didn't get a clear answer he had mut he had but the r said osa So here we come to a few words that we mentioned earlier but now we have to focus on it. The lion of the ra that I just read is when he asked the second and the second was so the the lion of the is the lion of the is that since the the the was so the second rv should not say awesome. So you notice that that this the in order for there should be a of so we see from this and actually from because in has a sh you ask the and he said so it's awesome but you ask the in and the first said and the second what do you mean it's it's so in that case there's No of why or no in fact why because before the was it was challenged. So we see an important precondition in there said a and you said thank you and you walked out of so it's but in or in before you recabulate it wasn't so it's and this fits beautifully with the shabi is my conscious decision to accept but if was questionable if it was questionable from the time it was said even They said the words and that's why now I'm telling you something that you have to realize that this is talking about the the abnormal case when the first row was mater if the first said also but before the was he got it's the same it has to be so another beautiful because if the only question is how do you define the word I said when when is it so means that and you started eating the food that the second said the first said or you mixed it into other food you actually put it in practical on this I don't understand the we learn from the case in the base mish and there you walked out whether you whether it's or not you don't need a misa So now we're a little confused. What is be a of eating or is it enough just so what makes sense is the is talking in the case that the first ro was second was that's already some you want to be more but there has to be a of actually accepting the but when there's an iss Oh sh you can't take chances means you have to keep the even if you didn't yet put it into practice if you accepted it asak is shi but one thing I do feel more comfortable in saying that we see that there has to be a a acceptance that's why if you write a sha or all the things we said earlier when you go to a and you hear it you know you didn't come in with a d to to shab so shab is the there has to be a pis even if you don't actually put it and start eating it or throwing out whatever it is but just the fact that you that should be enough I saw a who says that but after the died there's no problem now to me was a plea because maybe there's no They're all passed away. But if it's a if it's a sh I mean the rack is as alive today as it is when the said no. So he says I saw a safe. So I looked it up and and he wrote writes I saw this I think I saw this years ago. I haven't seen it since. This is what I think he writes. But he writes something totally different and I'm very happy because it's hard to believe that anybody would say if the died is but listen to what is he has a sh has a whole two pages about the two reasons but this is a beautiful sham someone had a shil and this is not the old this is not today you call up a in a second you connect to the other side of the world he sent the on on a long journey asked a shil okay it took time and he heard before the came back that the passed away. Now nothing to do with the ship the died. So the finally came to his house is stop don't tell me the maybe I'm not getting so up there oh this is pretty good what's the why he says because the reason of doesn't apply because the died the only if he wasn't yet so he doesn't want the the is is now applicable. He doesn't say there's no problem. He just says one thing that if there was no and there's no then it's but to say when the passed away the is over that did not say so that's a big but you know of the writes I haven't seen it this what I think he says another beautiful he says that the that a the first r said mut Then they said then he asked when's your second r so he says the following let's say [snorts] I the told me awesome okay so we know second but I want to hear what other say but I'm not going to change the I'm going to keep the but I want to hear what others say can I ask this another look into it he has to say so he says that this is told cuz if the only reason is here you're you're violating that. Why you second guessing the said ma what's the problem? They're still an issue dictate. What does the mean? He says the Gmor is alluding to this. If I'm asking a second but I'm not going to take his so I'm not going to viab maybe that's and maybe the gummor is inferring that the main reason is so if I say it as a condition I'm not going to accept the second the most challenging of all is what does it mean that that was that made a mistake you know you can't ask a second opinion unless the second r could convince the first r to to retract because it's what does it mean? Today we have so many who's wrong who could say something is wrong. So if the first the second one could override the now that's a pretty serious mistake if you got a Mishna in also regarding that that it's a until you know that he's just a mul of an absolute mistake. But if someone forgot it's also a now but typically or more often than not it's not he forgot he went with the but the argue or the or so generally it's hard to say that somebody was unless it's a it's an objective they have to realize that the the the ra says that let's say the first row of say you know what your I hear what you're saying but I I'll accept you that I made a mistake so he could talk he could change his and the seems to agree with but says but the himself in says you can't do that the sh hold unless it's a mistake you first rob you can't change your mind this not your coven at stake if it's not a mistake state the first rub is valid. But that just shows you what it means that the the the the has to be have to have a a a a real to otherwise it's not you it's not your cover it's it's a ro is item and one final question someone asked me today there's so many out there can I just look up a and pass you what I see so obviously you can't look up a safe until you find a that's rash or stop taking you know randomly Maybe it's but if someone follows a certain we saw the said that the said that already but one thing I would caution make sure you know how to ask a sh you know where once told us the story I'll never forget a a from yank yank was ded by a certain r yank was an amorit with all the hedurim he didn't know anything and he asked the r three times a day sh once two weeks go by and the rub didn't even see y uncle he thought maybe he's not well and he meets yan yank you okay goes wonderful Rob goes I didn't see a long time. Goes Rob, you wouldn't believe it. I became a pik. I said I thought I don't believe it. He says what happened? I became pisic. You had a shil. Yeah. Are you pus? Yeah. What was the shila? Says I'll tell you the truth. It was of shabas and the ga took a container of milk and pour it into the ch and mixed it up. Said what you said. I pass says muta. I told you the go made a mistake. So if you know how to look at and see that the you can pass on your own and talk to you all >> I was asked to mention please vote tomorrow it's crucially important for the for so please Tuesday tomorrow okay please vote for today's shorish Call at 7188518651 or email.com. Hey bless. Okay, so I got a second opinion. opinion of the >> good okay just briefly we learned today first of all we can't overstate the importance both in the both are important and a person has to have a pic and has to be consistent to take all the kuses says is Russia even all the is wrong not as bad but it's we are not groping in darkness even though there are numerous even in the most serious but we have a clarity It's called the Gmorra says if we don't ask shas but basically once a person asks a shah there's an is on the second r to paskin against the first rub which puts the sh in a situation that you can't ask for a second opinion unless he tells the first he tells the second r as the sh the said I'm putting it in your hands if you could prove that the first one made a mistake I would appreciate it but otherwise I'm keeping it so really the is on the second to knowingly override the first RV sack. But there's also sort of an on asking a second r unless you tell the second r this is a second opinion if it's an a a objective. So then as says it's not there's no problem but basically there are two main reasons for this is of either of the first and it's even today because the have the same credentials and so we don't need we need so is the Even if you ask and the said mut you can't accept unless as we said if the first r said mut and second row said then you have to follow the is but basically a the even the second r is bigger than the first r you should not ask the second r because again the first had to if the said you could get an opinion who will know definitely because that's not that's the pinned the forgot is go back to the RV if there was a to say I'm not I'm going to only listen to you if it's mut that's avah and it shouldn't be done what you hear by where the the said is not talking to you there's no shab send a letter to many but contradicting astra perhaps would be an abl but it's still not the isa but today that's probably using buta when a a a we if a person asked a sh I forgot to mention I left out some details fails and he has to go back then he could go back to a different because this this came out like a new Shila a person that that would had that had of mut and asked someone else should keep the is but in any case the isa has to be as we said and as we said a toy has to be a real toy not just a a a And and a as we said the the main thing is a person can look up something if he knows how to look it up and get the successful answer. >> Yes.