Comfort, Not Comfortable - Rabbi Ephy Greene

imagine the last day of Shiva house a whole week the morning's been sitting on the chair thinking about their loved one telling stories about their loved one visitors coming and going giving them wishing them well sharing memories finally on this last day the last visitors are trickling out they've all said and on the way out one last visitor turns around and says my friend you're done now you can relax you can go back to your regular life what do you think of that statement do you think that that comment is appropriate it is so inappropriate the morning is going to feel shocked go back to a regular life how can I go back to regular life this person just lost a spouse or a sibling or a parent somebody so meaningful to them and now they just have an empty space an empty vacuum in their in their life how can they possibly go back to regular life so it's a shocking statement to say that and yet so many of us are guilty of expressing that very same feeling when we go back to our regular lives after the avails of the hormon abias three weeks we were mourning over garage and within our midst and yet we go back to our regular lives of of swimming and haircuts and music so easily what we're missing something what's wrong what's what are we not doing right what are we not connecting to I believe it's very simple I believe that we're mixing up two very simple words you see during the three weeks we're following the halajos we're not shaving we're not taking haircuts where we won't listen to music we don't have simchas during the nine days we're not supposed to bathe even and so we feel uncomfortable so when those three weeks are over after Tish above we feel like we can go back to being comfortable so I can take a haircut and I can shave and I can I can bathe happily so that I'm comfortable but that's not what this time is really all about you see because I'll established for us when her cutter swear who wanted us to feel through the hecturers of these weeks during the three weeks we have the shalosh to puranusa three have torahs that Express the puranos the anger the Wrath the punishment that akashbark was expressing to the Jewish people in warning them of agaulus warning them and unfortunately those warnings were not heated and on tissue above the basement was destroyed in class of ascendent the ghosts but in the following weeks because I'll established for us a cottageboro whose Expressions the seven half doors of consolation those expressions of cancellation of comfort expressed much more than just an end to the Wrath than just an end to a period of anger you see as we often see throughout the language represents a change of mind a change of perspective changed his mind and change respect as to how he was going to conduct himself with us means comfort and the difference between comfortable and comfort is that comfortable means I just simply don't have any stimulus which is making me feel uncomfortable but comfort means that I recognize that I have pain and something allows me to address that pain and resolve it and move myself to a better place it's an Akama because it's a change of mind it's a change of perspective I'm becoming a greater person because I've overcome my pain I'm taking that pain with me and I'm taking it with me to a greater place and that's why the Shiva represents that time of taking the pain of learning lessons from the hormone and bringing that with us to a better place you see this lead us directly seven weeks after tissue of to where to Rosh Hashanah we're completing the year from ah and ellul straight to Rosh Hashanah to start afresh to start anew and say I can learn those lessons and I can become better and I can have a nakama let me draw some tell us that there's a double language says the Jewish people be consoled be consoled why does he have to say it twice the Russian tell us that every nakama has a change of perspective that not only will a person feel better after going through a trauma but they will look back and be able to see how that trauma actually helped them actually was good for them we don't understand the the negative things that happen in this world they don't understand why people go through suffering and Trauma we don't have answers to those questions we don't have a full answers destroy the base and make those but we know that we can come out stronger host message to us that we can come out stronger if we take that pain we Channel it to a better place [Music]