Good Vibes Eps 4: Energy, Flow, and Fulfillment: Bringing Purpose to Every Task

Welcome to Good Vibes, the podcast that brings the timeless beauty of Asia Kyle into the rhythm of real life. Each week, we unpack one puzzle, not as a shear, but as a spark for honest conversations, refreshing insights, and a little to light you can carry with you. Because meeting shouldn't feel heavy. And connection doesn't have to wait for quiet. This is good vibes for the Jewish woman who's doing a lot and still reaching deeper. Hello and welcome back to the Good Vibes podcast. Today we're going to discuss Daled. Hopefully by the end of this episode we're going to walk away with some very practical tips and tools. This translates loosely to she seeks out wool and linen and her hands work willingly. So this puzzle learn something from it. So the phrase we're going to focus on is daria. Why we specifically use the word dara. How does it relate with the rest of the puk? Namely where it says that the asky does things willingly. Okay. Okay. So, I want to bring down a malb. The malb on this word darot brings down such practical and basic insights. What I'm going to share right now is not anything like groundbreaking that we haven't heard before, but I feel like for me it's so enlightening and powerful to see it from the from the mafarium. So, he brings down this basic insight that I think that we can use. I think that we can hear it again and I think that the more we internalize it and the more we apply it to our lives the more powerful it will be. So he says that all the things that is she does with zeras and which can be translated to fast and eager and she's giving it her all that she will heir on the side of doing it better doing it good. She's going to air on the side of caution to make sure that the task or whatever she's working on is actually fully done. And if the Asia Kyle chooses to make clothing, he brings down this example. He says, "If the Asia Kyle is choosing to make clothing, that's why it says wool and linen, right? Things that we use for clothing, she will do this task not with laziness or feeling of force. Rather, she will do it from a place of desire." So overall, the the the mal is saying that the is her responsibilities and her tasks with desire, hard work, fast like quick zealous I guess the word is. And she doesn't do it with a feeling of like doom or anguish, but like with a feeling of this is my responsibility. This is what I'm going to do and with a feeling of desire. And that's what the word daria comes to teach us. Instead of another word, let's say of that she's going to go do something. The word dar teaches us this hard work, this desire. And that's why he brings in this example of if the is making clothing, that's why the puzz says wool and linen. He's bringing in that example. she's going to do it with like almost like a kishek with like a desire and a drive and not in a way that she's forced to or doesn't want to. So again, I feel like this is something that as wives and mothers, we know that it's important to not do our roles in a way of doom and not wanting to and that there's value in desire and working hard and but this is an amazing reminder and it's encouraging for me to see that the pukim that the malim is bringing it down and that this is a specific characteristic of an asyle. I think that like this teaches us how much this specific characteristic of Zizos and Karus and Kishak is not just like a good quality for anyone to have which I'm sure it is but the malam is saying that this specific mida is something that an asyle embodies and I feel like the biggest message that we can gain from this malim is how we can make it personal and real in our lives today obviously that's our goal okay so it's very nice that I should be like enthusiastic about my role and responsibilities but how do I do And how do I do that? Specifically for tasks that are so difficult to me and the ones that always keep on coming back and everything else that's difficult for us like those are the hardest. Everybody has their own task that is the hardest or that they dislike. So how with something that keeps on coming back and something that is in our role, you know, embedded in our role as a wife and a mother, how am I supposed to approach this with this and withishek and with desire and with not the feeling of like I'm being forced to and like, okay, I have to do this. So that being said, and that's what we, you know, that's what I want to focus on today with our puzzle idea. We have Mrs. Rael Iram here with us. Mrs. Iram is an amazing person and I'm so lucky that I have gotten to know her. She is a kala teacher and a mentor and she teaches in seminaries as well. She is a very passionate about kala's knowing who they are, why they are getting married and what their toughket is for the future. something that she teaches in her seminaries and other classes is this exact point bringing in excitement into our daily lives and how this relates with our overall goal and our overall image of ourselves. So, welcome Mrs. Iram. >> Thank you so much for having me. >> Of course. Thank you so much for being here with me. I'm so excited. So maybe you can begin by sharing your thoughts on this concept of you know this idea of living our lives with zealousness, hard work and desire especially when it involves roles you know applying it to tasks and roles within our asia domain I would say. >> Okay. I think it's such a good question and I think it's so important. I'm really glad you're asking. I want to start with the definition because I think definitions are important. So we're talking about andus and and I think we all generally define that as I mean they call it elacrity but I think when we think about these words they say we think of it as fast and first and best and enthusiasm and we're brighteyed and we're doing this like a nice base yuck girl who smiles and never says that anything is difficult. What 25 more guests? No problem. I'm so happy. I think that's how people generally see that. And I just want to bring something down that I heard from Rav Kalaman. He mentions in the garam in Yuma says that kohanim zim that when they were doing that vote in the base mikdash they were doing it with zerizus >> right >> and then the rav of I believe he was a rav of the wars ghetto rav a grazinski he had a kasha on that he's like okay wait a minute zus means like moving quickly and getting it done fast and furious and that means that mistakes could happen and the bas mdash I mean >> doesn't do mistakes >> right it's a precision operation you can't there's no room for sloppiness or messiness or cutting corners class because that would be disastrous. You'd have like ashes like all over the floor like smeared on the coin guttle's forehead, you know, terrible, not a good idea. So, what does rezus really mean? If you know, if we kind of strip it away, it might manifest itself as looking very enthusiastic and fast. But what it really is is knowing our job and being thought out and planned and prepared and precise, which I think is very important because we have a big yates to, you know, keep up with the Yoshkitzes. You know, if your neighbor, you know, the lady living next door is doing some amazing while she's raising her 12 kids, whatever. you know, >> you know, we think, oh, well, I have to be like that, too. And she's so put together. And this I think we need to sort of redefine our terms a little bit. >> Zus is not being fast. It's knowing who we are and being planned and prepared for the work that we have to do. >> Meaning that's why the kohanam and the bas mikdash are compared to as >> right >> because it's that lashon of um being >> thought out and precise. So then how do you think that it turned into this like thing of like being fast? Do you think that's just like modern Hebrew? >> I think no. I think that it manifests itself as being quick and excited because when someone knows who they are, knows what they're doing, knows how to do it, usually they're going to go faster than if they are sort of muddling going, "I'm weird." Right. It's so that's such a valuable lesson to me because you're saying that the more precise that we are within our own beliefs and our own direction and our where we're going, naturally we'll be faster. Like, >> right. So >> if we know where we're going, then you're even able to do it a little faster if you don't have clarity or have precision. So then you're just going to float a little bit. >> Exactly. So what we need to do then is we need to figure out who am I, what are my jobs, and what are my goals. And you talked about the word daria, and I like that word. I think we should be seekers. We should be people who are seeking things out. you know in the micro escodas but doris is a a word that is very specific to women and that's why it's in the asyle because when a woman knows there's a need she looks for the way to to meet that need we and we should seek we should be dores we should be dorms ms we should be allin because Jewish womanhood it's hard and so we better know what we're doing you know we only have 120 years >> right right I think that like the biggest thing that you're saying right now to me is that when we know our direction we know who we are we know our direction I guess first It's knowing who we are >> and then from there building out our roles and our tasks and our direction. So then from there you have karitzas and then you have desire but it's almost like I remember in seminary always I think it was from Rans Zatel and he said you have to plug in the GPS you have to know where you're going. You have to know also like I would add in here like you have to know what vehicle you are. Are you on an egg bus? Are you a motorcycle? Are you can you drive in the carpool lane? You have to know who you are and where you're going. And only with that can you then have this andas and this that we're told that the malam tells us is part of an asyle. And I think it it's almost like the tip of the iceberg like okay it has karitzas and andishek but really what's underneath that. First you have to know who you are. First you have to know where you're going and only then can you really have real zas. A lot of students have come to me over the years and they've said things like, "I want to serve Hashem. I would totally do my Top Kid if I only knew what that was." And so, a long time ago, I believe I first heard this, maybe not directly from Ravikatess, but maybe sort of called together from things that I either heard or read from him. >> So, I put together this quick little cheat sheet called How to Find Your Tough Kid in like five minutes. >> That's amazing. So if you are over 30, you grab a piece of paper and if you're under 30, then you open a fresh document on your computer on your phone and you make two columns in it. So the first column I'm going to call talents, that's a very broad word. I've heard this in the name of so many different people, the GR and the Kazan. I'm sure many people have said it, but that famous quote oi to the person who doesn't know their weaknesses, but oi vavoy to the person who does not know their strengths. >> Yeah. >> As you said, I love what you said, we have to know what vehicle we're driving, we have to know who we are. And Hashem, when he gives us a tough kid in the world, he gives us a job and then he puts tools in our toolbox in order for us to do the job. So, if I want to know what my job is, let me take a peek inside my toolbox. So, in column one, you're going to write down all your talents, your natural capabilities, your skills, your proficiencies, your personality traits, circumstances of birth, the kinds of things that come like relatively easy for me. Who am I? What am I driving here? >> Which if I can, I want to add that this first step already takes a tremendous amount of understanding who you are and self like exploration. And I think that just for our listeners, like even though this is the first step, it could be that you'll see this and be like, well, I don't really know. My parents said this, my friends say I'm this, but like really I think I'm, you know, totally not what they tell me, and I think I'm maybe a little different. And it can take a lot of like inner work and inner exploration before we do this. And that's fine. >> I mean, yes, you're right. But I would say for the sake of this exercise, put it all down. what I think I am and what my parents think I'm because frankly my parents you know all parents think their daughters are beautiful I might think I'm not beautiful so what am I going to write down what my parents say or what I say >> right okay I hear that >> write it all down and you know you're going to see the MS is going to come out >> I hear that the MS is going to like you're going to weed everything out and the MS is going to >> parenthetically I don't think I've ever met a Jewish woman who wasn't beautiful just as a side note that we're talking about this today but I just thought I would say that okay so that's column number one column number Do I wish I had a better word, but the best word to use is your passions. What makes you feel happy? What makes you feel fulfilled or motivated? And what makes you feel indignant or angry? What do you love? What lights you up from the inside? And what do you want to fight for? What's broken inside me that I wish would be fixed? And I wish it would be fixed out there in the world. So, >> I love that. I think that is so telling. Like, what inside of me do I want to fix? Sometimes we think that like if I need to fix this part so then like I can't start thinking about the world like I can't start thinking no but that thing that you're so passionate about that you yourself still want to work on and need to work on that is something that you're passionate about for not just yourself for you know at large and it can be little things like this morning I took a walk and I was coming home on the bus and I saw a lady holding a three-year-old maybe running towards the bus that was just about to pull out of the bus stop and I was like oh and I was in back of the bus. So, I couldn't, you know, nudge the driver and I was like, "Oh, I hope the drivers stop. He doesn't go, you know, cuz sometimes they just like drive straight ahead pretending they don't see you in their peripheral vision, which of course >> they do. >> Of course they do." >> And this woman made it on the bus. I actually felt a sima in my heart that was like >> it was like I felt it physically, right? >> You know, that's I mean, >> and that was something for you. >> That would be something to put on my list. I am happy when people don't get left behind, >> right? You know, it's a small thing, but the more you do this, you just start writing it all down. By the way, you might need more than one piece of paper because most of us are complex layers of all sorts of interesting things that light us up. Or if you find it hard to find the things you like, look for the things you hate. I hate to use the word hate, but or I don't like to use the word hate, but look for the things that bother you. But when you see what bothers you, you'll actually >> see the flip >> the flip side. You'll see what's really important to you. >> That's so interesting. So when you put these things together, you just for the first five minutes, you just write it all down. And by the way, you will add to this list over the years. For example, >> I had no idea that I love attending births until I'd actually given birth a few times. You know, there things you're going to learn as you go through life. And you're going to add it on your list. But for our purposes, just start writing everything you've got and everything you love or feel strongly or inspired about. And now you've got a tool that you can actually look at. It's not swirling inside you. It's outside of you. >> Right? >> Life is going to present a lot of opportunities to do things and we have a lot of decisions to make. What we're going to look for, we're going to look for areas where there's crossover between what we are good at and what we enjoy. And by the way, a lot of times there's already crossover. Like someone who's really good at painting in watercolors, for example, >> might also love painting in watercolors. Well, that's a win-win, right? So then if your son's yeshiva comes to you and they say, you know, we're doing a um a fundraiser and we'd really love if someone would donate some art. What do you think? Ah, I love to paint and I'm good at painting and this is an opportunity to serve Hashem using what I'm good at >> and what I love, right? >> So if you've got the time and you're not, you know, if you can manage it and maybe you can't, but if you can, >> I would say that might be something >> that's a great example. >> Like I this is an example I sometimes use when I'm talking to my students. I used to be a professional dancer back in past life and I'm also a college teacher and I am very I love helping women get started on a road to a positive and good marriage. It makes me feel so great and there's no reason not to have a good marriage for want of finding the right advice. Right. Exactly. >> So I love kalas and I love their weddings and I happen to be that I also enjoy dancing. I also I think I have some talent or at least the people who used to pay me did. So sometimes I will go toas and if the kala wants it I will come and do shikik. I will bring veils and dance props and wings and ribbons you know rhythmic gymnastics and I will see likeick that's dance that's like kind of fun and frankly the kala really needs to sit down. Those wedding dresses they weigh like 20 pounds totally >> and every person who gets in the middle of the circle for the first time is like dancing with all their you know and the kala is just dancing with all herk for like 40 minutes straight. So get her in the chair and do something nice for her. So this is something that combines for me as thing a small thing. I like to dance and I like put it all together and there you go. So that's finding your tough kit and I printed this out for you and you may have it if you'd like. >> Thank you so much. I'm definitely going to fill this out. This is really exciting for me. >> Okay. So I really like how this kind of is like the almost like pre of everything and it's giving me perspective on first I have to understand what my top is. First I have to understand where I'm going, who I am, where I'm headed. And only from then will I have this desire and this karas of being not even okay with working hard and being precise and being quote unquote fast, but it'll come naturally to me and I'll want it. But let's say like even afterwards, what if I have tasks and I think all of us do have tasks that we just really don't like. And it can even be you know I go to and by rabbits and dersitz and she says like a chemistry child like some of our children can be harder for us to work with. So, you know, I would have deal comparing a child to a task, but I'm saying something within our overall isas tough kid that is just consistently more difficult for me. Consistently just every time it comes up, I'm like, "Oh my gosh." So, then what do I do? Because it's something more specific than the overall if that makes sense. >> So, you're 100% right. I mean, being a wife and a mother, it's a there are a lot of people out there who aren't married. There are a lot of people out there who are still domining for children after 5 and 10 and 15 years. Of course, >> but that doesn't mean that it doesn't the matsus is that it can be exhausting. It can be physical labor. It can be hard and it can be challenging. I 100% validate that. And anyone who's sort of in the game to you like you're doing it, you're getting up every day. You're trying. Excellent. >> Sometimes I think that we're like Olympians and like nobody really no one really knows it. Like we deserve a million gold medals and we're the Olympians of life. >> We absolutely are. And yet we never give ourselves gold medals. We only give ourselves like, "Oh, you didn't do that. Oh, you could have done that better. Oh, you really wasted that." >> I know. Maybe we should develop like gold medals and like give them out cuz everyone needs >> I think we should. I think we should. So, I do have a couple of Listen, I've also faced my own difficult and repetitive tasks. And I think the first question that I think I've been asking myself that I find really helps is this my mitzvah? I used to live in the old city and sometimes I had like 20 guests for dinner on a le shabas and sometimes I was pregnant I was nursing or whatever like sometimes it was harder sometimes it was easier first question is this my mitzvah >> so when someone calls and says hi can I come over with a group from America and there's 20 people and we'd like to come to your house and by the way could you also make sushi and really fancy food because we want it to be like a good cure experience sometimes I have the co-op for it sometimes I don't sometimes you need to shut your doors >> and I think that's so important like be a balis. I'm 100% in favor of being a balass but also know when it's time to close your doors, focus on your children, focus on your family, your husband, your own well-being and your health. We need sleep. We need to drink I mean like water and juice. >> We need to eat healthy food. And I I don't know if you're like me, but I have this thing I always say when I go to a restaurant. I'm like, "Oh, they have my favorite salad on the menu." The person I'm with says, "Oh, what's your favorite salad?" Right on Q. cuz I set them up for that. Is there any salad I didn't have to cut by myself? >> Yes. Me, too. I think And wash, by the way. Wash the leaves if you >> Uh-huh. >> Yeah. >> Okay. So, my first question I asked myself, is this my mitzvah? I have a lot of jobs. I'm a wife, I'm a mother, you're a teacher, you're a student, you're a you work, you have in-laws, you have parents, there's a lot. You're a member of the community or baselik. There's a lot we have to do. The first question is, is this my mitzvah? >> And what if the answer is yes? If the answer is yes, then we find in ourselves the strength and we also plan it carefully into our schedules so that we can do it. And if it's not my mitzvah, then we have to know that Hashem has other >> if I can't have those 20 guests >> with sushi, mind you. >> You know what? I'm not the only person who knows how to make sushi. >> Many people know how. So that's the first thing. And then else when we're talking about repetition and difficulty and pain, this is something so important. We have control over how we feel about our physical and emotional pain and frustration. I'm going to give an example. >> I love this. I'm so passionate about this. >> If you went to a gym and you saw a person and their face is red and they're persspiring and their veins are sticking out of their shiny, glistening muzzle, they're like You would think that this person is in a lot of pain and you know what they are, right? >> They're they're gasping for air. I mean, honestly, you would think someone's torturing them, >> right? >> But if you a an athlete or a bodybuilder or something like not like we all know bodybuilders, I'm sure if you theoretically asked your theoretical bodybuilder or athlete, they would probably say, "I'm loving this pain. Bring it on." Cuz they know that they're building muscle, >> right? or if you're in, you know, during birth, it's called labor for a reason. You know, it's it's not a walk in the park. I have a lot to say about birth, which is not the topic of this conversation. I find it very intense, but it doesn't actually be experienced as negative, and it doesn't have to be experienced as pain, >> right? >> It's a feeling of my body doing what Hashem created it to do. And at the end of it, it's not like you're just in pain and then you're going to get better and then it's over. You have this experience that's maybe not the most easy, let's say, and at the end you've held hands with a kadesh. >> Yeah. >> And you've been a partner with him in bringing an into this world to live, please God, adv fulfilling his or her tapid and doing great things. So this experience that's not altogether pleasant, I can choose to look at it as pain and suffering or I can look at it as like I'm going through this difficulty to get what I want right and meaning like to have that perspective when it comes to these tasks that are hard for us. Aside from the fact of, you know, of course, number one, seeing if it's our mitzvah, and I would add in there like technical setup, >> you know, but if at the end of the day there's a task that is within your mitzvah that you can't technically set up for success more than you already have, then you need to find the strength within you to push through and this perspective of birth of like labor that it's hard and there's a purpose for it and you come out with something beautiful. I think that for me that gives me a lot of because sometimes when I go through that I'm like okay I'm doing this this is really hard I am doing this and sometimes I'll say like my olhaba is right there right there like through all the work you know >> but also don't forget to reward your goof at the end of it your goof works very hard and we don't give it enough credits >> it's true >> so get through but keeping the perspective of >> this is what I want this is my goal and if I have that in mind it makes the labor or the workout or the writing of millions of papers and reading of millions of books easier because I have my end goal in sight. >> To that end, >> it just so happens that when I first got married, I was working in finance in investor relations. I was actually the director of investor relations for a investment company. And 3 months later, I found myself married, living in Israel, doing laundry, washing dishes, making kala. I was not prepared for this. I mean, I had my two degrees and I I was prepared for business. I was not prepared for this, >> right? >> And I definitely found myself in the position that we've been talking about, like, okay, I know that this is my job, but >> this isn't feeling great. >> So, I sat down one day and I wrote for myself what ended up becoming a magnet, which I'm also going to give to you if you want. >> Yay. >> And anyone else out there, if you want to get in touch and get one, you can have one called The Homemakers to Fila. And if it's okay, can I read it, >> please? >> Okay. I wrote this for myself in my first few months of marriage. I still keep this on my fridge and it still inspires me all the time. So here it is the homemakaker's teila. May I take pride in working to provide a clean home for my loved ones and guests. May I give them covet by serving nutritious, attractive, delicious food on clean dishes so that they may know that they are kings and queens. May all who spend time in this home and eat from this kitchen feel your comfort, kindness, mercy, and boundless fatherly love. And may they use their energy to emulate your ways to learn your Torah to inspire others and to infuse your world with kaduca. This has helped me a lot. >> Wow. >> Anyway, if you want it, it's yours. >> Thank you. Wow. Yeah, it's going to go in my fridge. It's beautiful. So, >> so just keeping an eye on on why why we're doing this why we're doing this. >> Exactly. And again, I think that like goes back to our puck of again, you know, like when we have our goal, when we know who we are, when we know where we're headed, I would say, you know, when we have the steps to do that, where we have like, you know, a bit of a game plan, I would call it, then we're able to do things with more, with more, with more hard work, like determined, like almost like I am an Olympian and I am doing this even though it's hard cuz I know this is part of my mitzvah. I know this is why Hashem put me in this world >> 100%. And I just want to say one little like a caveat because I mean women are so wonderful and amazing. We're so hardwork and we don't give ourselves enough credit. We don't take enough time for ourselves. >> And I just want to just add a little sort of side note that the Gamar Shami and also Masil Yasharim tell us that we are for every permitted pleasure that we did not partake of that we could have enjoyed and we didn't. And that says to us, we are supposed to enjoy the beauties of this world. That doesn't necessarily mean take 2 years off your life to backpack through, you know, the Amazon. But Hashem provides us with sunsets and flowers and beautiful experiences and moments. We are supposed to stop and say, "Wow, that's really nice." >> And we should. So, in addition to eating and sleeping and making sure we're hydrated so that we can do our job better, this is part of that. And that's why we need time off. That's why we need date night. Um Green was a huge advocate. He said not only in your baby years, but DAKA through your baby years. You must have one night a week where you and your husband get together. Even if it's only for 20 minutes where you don't talk about buying diapers, you don't talk about taking out the garbage. You just go a boy and a girl on a date and you talk and you have a connection that doesn't have to do with we are partners in raising this family, right? >> Because it's really important. We're supposed to enjoy our relationship. We're supposed to be happy in our marriages. That's part of it. And if I can add to that when you said to like enjoy enjoy these moments I found for myself and I've spoken about this with some friends like finding hobbies and finding things that speak to you that you know I kind of thought like okay I'm married I you know this isn't the time to like explore my hobbies but no again it's not the time to take off two years and go exploring but it is still the time and it's so important to explore what it is that I enjoy. Because first of all we deserve it and second of all it helps our tough it helps our resus >> it helps the overall goal. >> Very true. And also you can come up with hobbies and things to do that actually help us to get where we want to go. There are so many examples in the world of there's a game that's really popular in Israel called Katan or the settlers of Katan. >> It's a board game and you can I love this game because kids play it for like hours. It's great. You know, for all of us who don't have TVs, this is a great way to keep your kids entertained on a rainy day. But I think I heard I believe it's this game. I believe that the person who invented this game might be from Germany. I think it was a dentist from Germany. I could please someone fact check me. I'm not positive about that. But he was a dentist and he was just looking to do something on the side that was just a fun hobby. >> Wow. Wow. And he turned it into this game and this business and now there's like 20 different expansion sets on this thing. Like you know this man, I'm sure I hope he's retiring and living in Tahiti and I hope he never has to clean a tooth again because my point is you can have hobbies that can end up bringing us to our desired goals. >> Wow. >> And I don't know if this is like too much, but I have the advanced version of sort of getting to our lives where we want them to be. If we're young and just kind of have a young family and we're busy, this may not be the exact exercise for you. But if someone's not married yet or they're in their first year or they only have maybe one child or if their kids are more grown up a little bit, this might be something. So, I used to work in finance as I said and one of the most important things in strategy planning is knowing how to write a good strategic plan. >> And as I said, when I went into my marriage, I didn't know what I was doing. And you know, we come into life. We come in as babies. There's no user manual. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. How to get the best out of your life. I don't know. You know, you go to seminary, you go to Shiiory, you listen to Raana, and we hear these inspiring things. But what we really want is to make them stick. Have you I mean Ravitat always talks about how you know in living inspired we hear things and they're inspired like this flash of lightning in the darkness and you see your path illuminated ahead of you and you see the branches and the pitfalls and everything but then it goes away and we have to remember what we saw because that inspiration doesn't stick right >> what we need is we need to bring the everyday routines into our lives in order to take that inspiration >> and create a life of being who we want to be. So I sat down one day and I made a strategic plan for my life and then I made a template of it that I am happy to give out to whoever. So the rule in business is you have to be smart. Smart is an acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound. So when we're doing this, we want to keep them positive. We want to focus on the asettov and the surra just sort of kind of follows along like a piggyback ride. be honest and you know you won't want to share this with people because this is private. This is like your diary. This is like what do I need to work on here? >> So it starts with our goals in one sentence and overall like who do I want to be like you know and uh >> I think when I was about 25 I sat down and this could be a little macabra. This is not for everybody but if you want to figure out who you want to be I sat down. I wasn't married yet and I wrote down how I would like to be eulogized by my youngest daughter. like how I would like my youngest daughter to speak of me is God. I intend to live at May of Evest from Shana and be there for all of their highs and lows, >> but this might not be for everybody. It might be like a little negative, >> but I thought to myself, how do I want to be remembered by one of my precious children when I'm gone? And that really helped me sort of distill down like what goals in life, who do I really want to be, >> and what are my values? I filled in some of them because they're the same for pretty much any Torah observant Jew like mitzvah, good meos, personal growth, well-being, good relationships. And then I sat down and we did I won't go through the whole thing with you because take too long but strategic implementations like okay here's the value. >> Yeah it's really like a break of your direction and how you're going to achieve it. I think I've mentioned this before on the podcast in it says then that's exactly this >> I am here today and then this is the goal of where I see myself in the future and this what you've you know written up is the game plan of how to get there. >> Absolutely. It's not something you can do like in five minutes, but then when you finish filling this out, it's something to look at and it's sort of like a piece of paper that shows us like, okay, here's who I think I am and here's who I think I want to be and here's where I want to go. Right? >> So, this is like a little bit of like a kind of a higher level. I'm going to pass this on to you to >> Thank you. >> But if you want something a little bit more attainable, I've got one last little present for >> Okay. I'm so excited. And again, these little things like the magnets and the bigger things like the figure out the tapet and the strategic life plan. This all goes back to our pak because the word dara the malam says and just want to tie it back in. The malam says that it's andas and we said that the only way that you can get to and is if you first know who you are and where you're going and only from then could you wake up with this like bren and direction and enjoyment to even do some of the hard things sometimes. So, I just I really want to thank you. Thank you for sharing with us all these cute little magnets and tips and also, you know, the overall just bigger picture of the importance of finding our tough and finding our direction and how that, you know, is really the key to serving Hashem happily and fulfilling our goals. So, thank you so much for joining us. And if you would like to reach out to Mrs. Iram for any of her courses or any of her cute little magnets or anything, please reach out to [email protected]. Thank you so much for having me. I really loved being here today. >> Thank you for coming on. Please reach out and email us if you have any questions or thoughts. We would love to hear from you. Stay tuned for some more good vibes.