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“My Spouse is the Source to All Ny Problems” - Rabbi YY Jacobson
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The things that bother us most in our spouse are often the things we need to work on within ourselves. Instead of asking, “Why do they keep doing this to me?” try asking, “Why does this affect me so deeply?” Growth begins when we stop looking for someone to blame and start looking inward. The trigger isn’t always the problem, sometimes it’s the invitation to heal. @RabbiYYJacobson
Categories:Torah
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Transcript
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Lucky is the couple that stops blaming
the other spouse for all of the
challenges going on in the marriage. Woe
to the couples that instead of doing
this work, they just emotionally look at
the other person and say, "You are the
source of all my problems." It's a gift
when my wife triggers me because it
basically helps me become aware of my
own unresolved wounds. And when instead
of blaming my wife, I can go inward and
I can ask myself with compassion, "What
just happened? Why did you become
stressed? Why did I become angry? Why?
What is it?
What is the wound that just opened up in
my heart? What a gift. It allows me to
bring more awareness, more love, more
authenticity, more compassion to that
wound
and then build even a deeper connection
with my spouse.