Nasso - Finding Hashem Inside

You're listening to the weekly partial podcast with Ari Goldwag, recorded with Hashem's never-ending assistance in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel, 5785, 2025. This week's parsha is parshas Naso. And in our parsha we have two concepts the Torah places next to each other. And we have a very famous statement by our sages, and I like to explore it in the Midrash and try to see perhaps something new, a deeper depth that we might not have seen before. The first concept is the concept of the sotah. That is the wayward wife, the woman who was seen with another man other than her husband. The husband becomes jealous. She brings her to the Beit Hamikdash, to the temple, and there's a whole difficult procedure that she has to go through. She's embarrassed, her hair becomes uncovered. All these things go on to prove that either she has done something wrong, she has become impure, or that she hasn't. That's the first concept, is the concept of the sotah. The next concept in the Torah is in perek vav, pasuk aleph, bet, gimmel. I'm going to read "Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe lemor." God speaks to Moshe and he says as follows, "Daber el Bnei Yisrael, speak to the children of Israel, ve'amarta aleihem, ish o ishah." A man or a woman "ki yaflì lindor neder nazir lahazir lashem." When they do something, yaflì means they do something outstanding. They do something, they take their lives into their own hands and they recognize that they need to be more dedicated perhaps in their relationship relationship to Hashem. They need to be more conscious of the things that can cause them to be distant from Hashem. So they make themselves into a nazir to Hashem, which means "Mi yayin veshechar yazir, chametz yayin u'chametz shechar lo yishteh." So, they're not going to drink any wine, any intoxicating substances. They're not going to touch anything that's even close to wine, vinegar, etc. I know that I can be wasting my time but they're not even going to eat any grapes. They're going to create every single kind of fence for themselves to disconnect from from something that could cause them spiritual damage. Now, the measure famously the the Rashi also says it, the measure says it, why are these two concepts placed next to each other? Because when a person sees a woman who is wayward, she's distanced herself from her own husband and she's been seen with another man. And she may have been met on me herself, cause herself to become impure through a an illicit relationship. We know how that happens. Interestingly, it happens because of alcohol consumption. Or I would say differently, it happens when a person has issues relating to life properly. Sometimes drinking alcoholic beverages can aid a person in facing their life better or so it seems until it causes destruction in their life. But the bottom line of it is that a person becomes intoxicated with themselves, with their egos, and it leads down a very dangerous path. And that path could lead a person to lose their fidelity, lose their honesty, lose their commitment to their their own spouse and end up in the base of migdash disgraced in front of everybody. In front of everybody. Now, as the measures says, I like to actually read you the measures. We're going to learn the beginning of this piece, but the very end of the piece it says, Kashim shibaikin I saw kakh baikin I saw there's a whole thing that goes on that if she's done something wrong, she's then her stomach will explode. And if the man has also done something wrong, her own husband, so then every there'll be it'll be a gory sight in both places, both the wife and the husband. Well, you Israel nation and the nation shall you Ryan look at the bottom. Now, people would see this. It was a spectacle. It would happen in the base of migdash. Everyone will be watching this thing. She's She's embarrassed. She's disgraced. She's Her hair is uncovered. It's like a It's a very disturbing scene. And she, you know, she can blow up. Her stomach will just blow up. And the people who watch this this scene will go home. Well, I remember I don't know the plan you the plan is she's just so young and she's stuck with all of her own mess. They see what happens when somebody drinks wine. And they see the results of someone being overly involved in actions that separate them from Hashem. Nishba anisha shasha ya in alum shula likamaisa. So, the person the onlooker who watched this takes it takes it to heart and says, "I don't want that to happen to me." And they make a vow. They're not going to drink wine henceforth. I don't want to fall into that same trap. Khenanashim amris. The men learn their lesson. The women learn their lesson. Kakhnismakhuzeliza. That's why these two concepts are placed next to each other. You have the concept of the sight of the wayward wife, you have the concept of the person who makes himself to be more holy, more separated, more dedicated to Hashem. Why? Because they see what happens when a person goes too far with their egos. Goes too far with getting involved in the trappings and the traps of Hashem of this world. And so the result is that a person sees that and they and they wake up. They wake up. It doesn't have to be the person themselves. Obviously, we want the person themselves to wake up and to do chuvah before we get to that point. But there's something that we all see in somebody else. It's easier to see it on somebody else. We see the the the path of destruction that a person's following and we say, "I don't want to be on that path." And I'd like to read to you from some Shir Hashirim, uh, Hashirim, Song of Songs. Because the Midrash is going to quote these pesukim and I want to first understand what they're saying before we get into the depth of how it applies to the whole story with Sota and Nazir. The pasuk, the pesukim of Shir Hashirim are talking about this relationship between a man and a woman. The praises that the woman is saying about her her beloved. And it's a mashal, it's a an analogy for all of us, our relationship with Hashem. Pasuk says, "Shok amuday shesh." In reference to the beloved, which is really Hashem, Am Yisrael speaking to Hashem. "Shok amuday shesh" his legs are like like marble. They're they're they're like marble pillars. They're so strong, so powerful. "Musadotav al adnay paz." And they're sitting in the shoes of these feet are sitting in golden shoes. Mar'ehu ke'alvanon Our beloved Hashem, as it were. He looks like he has this if we can picture what is what is the way that Hashem interacts with us? He interacts with us in a way that he seems to be like the cedars of Lebanon. Bachur ka'arazim, strong, young and healthy, as it were. Like these cedars. So, there's a description of Hashem as it were that although he's high up in the heavens, he's as it were, he's far away, but the same at the same time he has legs, as it were that come down to the earth. And his legs are pillars. And they're marble, they're very strong. And they hold us up. And the way that he interacts with us, which we could say are the shoes, right? The shoes of a person, when a person walks, so the the feet are that which interacts with the ground, and the shoes protect the person from things that might hurt his feet. Hashem's shoes, the way that he interacts with us from heaven to earth is golden. And we can see the the maje- the majesty, the majestic nature of Hashem how he's there, he's like a a forest of cedars. He's powerful, he's he's there for us. Hiko mamtakim His mouth the the palate is sweet. The way that Hashem talks to us, the way that Hashem interacts with us, the Torah that he teaches us, it's sweet. Vekulo machmadim. Everything that Hashem says to us is what we want, is what we desire. It has to do with our relationship with him. How can I get close to him? You have a You have a a woman has a beloved and she wants to have a relationship with her husband or her her beloved and she says what is it that I can do? And she And he tells her. And she's so excited every word that comes out of his mouth. Zeh dodie zeh re'i benos Yerushalayim. This is my beloved one. This is my close one. O daughters of Jerusalem. So she's talking that's obviously speaking to the nations of the world. She's talking and she's saying how great her beloved is, how great Hashem is. How great is the one who's beloved and how great is the one who's her friend. Now let's see how these pasukim apply to us cuz you know, there's an amazing thing that goes on in the pasukim of the concept of sotah being placed next to the concept of the of the nazir, the person who dedicates himself to Hashem in a deeper way. There's a spiritual reality. When a person when I see either my own ego taking me to to far away places far from Hashem, far from my friends, far from my family causing me destruction, heaven forbid. Or whether I see somebody else going through such a situation as a result of their ego. So it wakes me up. It wakes me up. It causes me to do chuvah. It says the Midrash, "Dod k'siv shok v'amudai shash." This is what it's talking about in the pasuk in Shir Hashirim that speaks of shok which means literally the legs are like pillars of marble. Shok zeh ha'olam. Th- this this shok which means a leg also means a diff- there's another root for this word. Oh my gosh. There's a bee. Okay. The shok zeh ha'olam she'nishtakeg'a Hashem livri'asa. It's a reference to this world that Hashem desires to create. The word shaikh, which can mean a leg, is also the root of the word chuka, which means desire. wanting Well, I would say that if I want something enough, my legs are going to move. I'm going to start moving to try to get the thing that I want. The Kodesh Baruch Hu wanted to create the world. He had a great chuka. A great desire to create the world. You want the time of all I chukos, possuk says also in Shir Hashirim his desire is upon me. He wants us. Hashem wants us. He wants a relationship with us. Min Anshei Kenisah Shikainu omer shenemar vayechulu hashamayim ve'ha'aretz in vayechulu al shem ta'avah shen ve shenemar nischav koso nafsho. We see that Hashem desired the world. Possuk says vayechulu, the world was completed literally. But the Medrash understands that the world is more more than being completed, there was a desire and I would say it was a desire that clearly came to completion. Hashem wanted it so much that he did it until the end. And he has a created world. wanted this world Amudei Shesh, says the Medrash. Pillars of marble, she amidi kol ma'aseh bereishis leshishei yamim. What's the shesh, which means marble? The word shesh also means six. Because the world was created in six days. Shenemar sheshes yamim asah Hashem The Gemara tzeira al shesh yamim shemehem nivra'a kol I'm not sure how we see this, but it refers to the three the three matriarchs of Am Yisrael that from them all of Klal Yisrael came. So new sod al malbenei paz, their founded on these kinds of sockets. I I translated it as shoes, but it really means a socket a socket, something that the pillar sits in which is made out of gold. So, you said in schlish the we keep having this number three. So, I want to see the positive again. It says No, I don't know. Shake of a mood of schlish not sure where we see the number three. But, we have this three pronged we have the the matriarchs of Israel. No, I'm sorry. It's not the matriarchs of Israel mistake. You might as means the the foundational mothers. It means something else. It means a deep thing. It means we have a concept of Bina and Das. Every single thing I do in my life, every single thing that you do in your life is founded in your mind. Starts in your mind. You think about a concept. You contemplate the concept. You decide how you're going to implement the concept and then it it turns into action. Bina and Das they're different aspects of the thought process. Das corresponds to the will and to the intimate knowledge has to do with me perhaps the vision that I have for that thing. Khakhma is the wisdom the the conceptual wisdom. Bina is intuitive wisdom and how things play out. Khakhma is related to vision. Bina is related to hearing. Khakhma is seeing the whole picture. Bina is is more like hearing. You have one word after another after another and then the whole piece of all the pieces come together. So, we have a foundation that Hashem made. Hashem with wisdom created the land. He established the heavens with tvunah, with intuition. And with his daas, which means intimate knowledge, which means that there is a concept, and then there's a bringing it down all the way to reality. That's what it seems to be it means here. So, it's a reference to the sea. So, let's let's hear this, okay? Hold on a second. I know we it's not clear what's going on, but let's hear it. Let's take Let's have some patience. Chochmah yiras Hashem. Wisdom, as we know, reishis chochmah yiras Hashem. The The concept of wisdom is related to fear of Hashem, which means respect for the rules. If you break the rules, you're going to end up in trouble. If a woman is not doesn't have fidelity toward her husband, so she's going to end up being destroyed. Right? That's the rule. So, yirah, which is the you know, my understanding that I need to be careful and not break the rules cuz I'm going to get broken by the rules. That's chochmah. Binah is sur meirah is actually turning away from that which is wrong. Daas and makiras borei. And daas means into as I said, intimate understanding, intimate relationship. It means that I am living with Hashem. I know it intellectually. I know it in action, and as a result, I feel Hashem in my life. I recognize. I can Well, as I as I peel away, as I scrape off the darkness of my ego, the darkness of my midos ra'os, my bad character traits, and the aveiros that I know if I transgress this I'm going to end up in trouble. As I remove those things from myself, I end up in connection. I end up with das Elokim. K'mo ode temar, midas Elokim ba'aretz, umnas k'veodoyai, I see. Right? The purpose of the Torah, the purpose of everything that we talk about, is for us to get to a place where we have a relationship with Hashem, where we know Hashem, where we understand, where we've clarified for ourselves what is Hashem's will for me. What does Hashem want me to do in this moment? I get that by learning Torah, I get that by knowing halacha, I get that by removing the blocks that I have to hearing him speak to me, so to speak. I've been saying a lot. I don't remember if I said it on any of the I don't know if it'll be talking podcast or the parsha podcast, but you know, I've been thinking about the fact that in Shma Koleinu we ask Hashem to hear our voice. But I keep coming back to and thinking about Hashem, I want you to hear my voice, but really I want to hear your voice, Hashem. Cuz I know that you're davening for me. You, Hashem, want so much for me. You have a prayer for me. You're my loving father. You have You have in your mind the, as it were, the potential for who I am. You have that picture. Hashem, help me hear your prayer for me. That's the das Elokim. Help me know, Hashem, what you want from me personally. Help me hear your prayer for me. Now, mar'eh Elokim avonim the pasuk says that he looks like there's a a certain way that we see Hashem, we see that he's like a uh forest, a cedar forest in Lebanon. This is the reward. This is a reference to what it looks like when a person does teshuvah. Person sees the mistakes that they've made. They realize, "Look what happens when someone you know, overly gets involved in their ego, they end up drinking alcohol, become drunk, intoxicated, end up doing all kinds of averas." That could happen without drinking alcohol, too. Right? Getting intoxicated with with one's ego. Ending up in places they know they shouldn't be and getting destroyed. So, the Baal Shem Tov says, "I'm not interested in that. I I recognize that I've made that mistake perhaps, or someone else has made that mistake. I don't want to be like that. I want a relationship with Hashem. The relationship with Hashem looks like, "Wow, now you're in a place where it's like the cedar forest. You have support. You have You have Hashem in your life." Pussuk says, "I will cure their waywardness." Hashem uh if if a person becomes a Baal Teshuvah, "I'm trying to do Hashem's will. I'm trying to do what's right. I'm I'm dedicating myself, making commitments to Hashem. Saying, "This is what I want. This is what it looks like to me. This is how I want to be. Hashem, help me." Pussuk says, "Erpa mishuvusam." Also in Hoshea. "I will cure their waywardness." Hashem says, "I have veina d'va, I will love them unconditionally. My anger is gone from them." Interestingly, he doesn't he doesn't bring all the pussukim that happens in all cuz I wrote a song once to it. But the pussuk says, "Ehiye k'tal Yisrael. Yifrach k'shoshana." "I will be like dew to the people of Israel. They will blossom like a rose. Which means to say there's a concept of tal of dew. What's the difference between tal and and matar? Matar is rain. Rain you get all the time I mean you you get when it comes. And that's Israel we only get the rain in the winter. And we have to daven for it. It doesn't come necessarily when we'd like it to. It comes when it comes. For as long as Hashem sends it. But tal as dew is different. Dew is there every single morning rain or shine. Hot months, cool months. Tal is always there. Which means to say that Hashem's love for us is always there, always available. Person can always access Hashem, have a relationship with Hashem wherever you are. Whoever you are, however far you've gone. You can always access Hashem. Hashem's there for everybody. B'churka arozim the possuk also says that he is mighty and youthful like like the cedar. Zay yoriv amak y'bareshim n'ku tzadik. So there's two people. One is a person who's about chuva, learns from his mistakes, comes back to Hashem, recognizes that this is the right way, makes his commitments, Hashem supports him. But there's also somebody who's a tzadik who grew up. He never He never really deviated from the path. V'lav ara kosuv tzadik katamar yifrach k'erez b'l'vanon yisgeh. The righteous individual which by the way we all have the potential to be about chuva and become a tzadik. Or to to keep our tzidkus by learning from other people, not making the mistake. But a tzadik is referred to as a blossoming uh tamar a fig tree not a fig tree, a date tree. Or like an araz balvanon he we prosperous like a cedar in the Lebanon. V'omer b'chur yisamech kol shivtei Yisrael v'kol There's an aspect of the tsadik, the person who has always kept himself on the right path, which is, of course, a very lofty level. We're not all zoche to that. Most of us are baalei teshuvah, as in 99%. So, such a person is bachur, he's chosen in a certain way. Both of these are great. Both of these get the support of Hashem. Hashem is in their life in an amazing way. Ki cham am takhim. So, his palate is sweet. The way that Hashem speaks to us is sweet. Zeh Hashem Kadosh Baruchu. This is a reference to Hashem. Re'eh mahu omer, ki choim Hashem el Beis Yisrael, dirshuni v'chiyu. This is what Hashem says to the house of Israel. Seek me out and you will live. Hashem is basically saying to us, this is a pasuk. This pasuk is Where is it? In Amos, chapter perek hei pasuk daled, chapter 5 verse 4. Pasuk says, "Seek me out and and you'll live. I'm waiting for you to look for me. I'm here. I'm ready. Ready to help you. The problem is not from my side, Hashem says. It's from your side. All you need to do is look for me. I'm here. I'm right next to you. I'm with you. I'm inside of your heart." Is there anything sweeter than that? Can Hashem say anything sweeter than that? He's always there for us. He's If we've made mistakes, he's ready to take us back. Chai ani neum Hashem Elokim, im mechapes b'misas rasha. Pasuk says yechezkal, which we quote on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we quote a piece of this pasuk. Perek lamed gimmel pasuk yud alef, chapter 33 verse 11. Hashem says, "Do you think that I want the wicked person to die? I want him to do chuva. I want him to come back to me. I'm I'm waiting for you. I'm waiting for you. Is there any sweeter words that Hashem could say? But it says that Russia of a guy mirror when that person does chuva Hashem receives him. So you have you have the assurance of Hashem where he's always there for us, whether we've always been been a tzaddik, we've always been righteous or whether like most of us, we've done wrong and we we're coming back to Hashem. Hashem says, "I'm always there. I'm always available for you. Just all you got to do is step up to the plate, make your commitments." That's what it comes down to. Reish Lakish will tell you all the Russia. Obviously, he says Reish Lakish, which is interesting because he was about chuva. He grew up as a thief, as the as the most famous thief, the king of the thieves thieves. He became about chuva and he says to us, you know, it's not enough to just grab onto Hashem. You got to also clean up what you did wrong. Right? And if if you decide, "Okay, henceforth from now on I'm going to I'm going to do what's right." That's good. That's good. That's great. But you got to clean up the mistakes. You got to do chuva. You got to go back to the people that you did wrong to. And you got to clean it up. You got to fix it up. Huh? Stole from someone, you got to give back the money. Okay, it says that Reish Lakish Adam Russia call you the same as tzaddik Adam. Because of the riches of Russia like kosher bar. So we learn from here that no matter where a person is, how far they've gone, they can always do chuva. Even if they spent their whole life doing a verse, they can still do chuva. They can still repent. Hashem is waiting for them. Hashem is waiting for that person. And I want to add there's another piece that's that's a page further in the Midrash. There's so much here. It's It's such a beautiful Midrashan. But the possuk says "Zeh dodi v'zeh re'i." This is my beloved. This is my friend. Now there's a big difference between a beloved and a friend. A beloved is someone who I'm extremely dear to, extremely close with, my my spouse. A re'i is is a is a friend. A friend is just a friend. Why is the possuk talking about "My beloved and my friend?" says the Midrash. Rav Yehudah b'shem Rav Chama bar Rav Chanina b'shem Rav Bi'vo omer she'u m'abli re'im. Hashem, you know, what does Hashem do? He sees like a whole pool of people and he pulls out the tzaddikim. He says, "I want you for for myself. Come here. Come live in Eretz Yisrael. It's hard to live in Eretz Yisrael. I want you You're You're one of the ones who can make it here. Come." So that's the dodim. The the Jews, says the Midrash, we're going to see. The the individual people, the Jewish people, have a special relationship with Hashem. Hashem pulls them out of the darkness and brings them to Eretz Yisrael, brings them to the Torah. And he says, "I want a relationship with you." But it could end there. Keitzad k'she'avdilah k'min ha'um, k'she'ish uv'eir se'ufim min ha'arav, uv'eir k'she'uv'eir. Now, if Hashem would take everyone who's bad and just push them away and keep only the good ones, so then that would be the end of it. He'd just have Klal Yisrael, but Hashem doesn't do that. What Hashem does is he has He still has the whole pool. He takes Klal Yisrael, pulls them aside, but he also saves an opportunity for those who are amongst the nations of the world for them to do teshuvah. For them. Uv'eir k'she'uv'eir. He chooses out the good ones. Then he looks, "Hey, there's some other good ones. Oh, if I look at If I look at the whole pool that's left, there's still some some Okay, maybe not as good as these, but they're also very good. wants even the nations of the world. He wants there to be amongst them as well. And he's waiting for their as well. This is not like an exclusive game that only the Jewish people are supposed to be part of. Which means to say wants everybody. How do we get there? How do we get there? And I believe that that's the message here. That's the foundation here. That's the concept. How do we get there? The way that we get there is number one, we see what happens. Really? We don't think about it really until we see someone else's destruction or our own the where the path is that we're headed is just not going in a good direction. That's the lesson of the Torah and the Nazir. The Nazir is a Sadik. No, it's possible for someone to become a Nazir even if they didn't see a Torah. But generally speaking, we wake up when we see someone else's or our own destructive path. And what do we do then? We realize is the one. He's the pillar. He's the creator. He's the one who gives us wisdom. He's the one who wants a relationship with us. He's the one who when we have a relationship with him, we start to hear, we start to understand as we it's it's interesting cuz it's really our relationship with him, it seems like we have to just take away, just peel off the layers of ego and which really is ego. All the things that we do wrong, the bad things. Just peel them away and what's left is who we really are, which is our essence, which is godly. And then we start to hear Hashem's voice, we start to hear the will of Hashem. When you learn a piece of Torah, you hear a good word, it rings inside of you as that's true. Because we already have it inside. We have Hashem's voice inside of us. And so the Torah is telling us we can hear Hashem's voice when we see the destruction of those who turn away from Hashem's voice. But we can hear Hashem's voice when we do what's wrong and we see where it's not we're not headed in a good place to a good place. And when we have that clarity when we have the clarity of how great Hashem is and how pathetic our ego is trying to make us. When we have that clarity, so then we realize he's the cedar, he's the one who's going to take care of us, he's going to support us. He's that forest with all the trees and all that youthful vigor. Someone we can rely. I want to bless you and ask you to bless me. Hashem should help us that we should be able to get into that space to get into that connection to turn away from the mistakes that others have made, that we have made and be able to dedicate ourselves to the service of Hashem to doing that which is right to giving up the things that cause our downfall giving those things up and finding that inside of us is this powerful voice of Hashem. This powerful understanding, this powerful knowledge. Thank you so much for listening. Have a wonderful shabbos. This podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you. For more podcasts like this, please visit www.arigoldwag.com or search on iTunes Ari Goldwag.