Not What You Say, But What You Believe

lady. I would say your name, but she wasn't the best person ever. And medish, I'd rather not. But she had a theory that I want to tell you about relevant to the sushi. I want you to know her theory. People tell is about to start a home. Him and his calabella in a week are getting married. And there's a tendency people tell their kids. Ellie, has you ever heard this? May your people tell their kids. If you eat the main dish, you'll get dessert. If you eat the main dish, I never My wife and I never did that with our kids. My kids, a normal people, they're into water better than soda. Like soda's served. I'm the only one who drinks it. By my kids, it wasn't made that that's like the treat. Eat your ma. Eat dessert. Eat the main dish. By the way, why don't you tell your kids if you eat dessert, you could get the main dish? And this famous nutritionist, psychologist held that if we would tell our children, you could only have a carrot, if you eat the chocolate bar, that kids would crave carrots. That was her claim, this lady, that if we would tell our kids, if you're not I'm not into any manipulation. I actually think it's very natural. There's one man's opinion. I'm not like pushing. You could be into I think kids eat what's good for them naturally. I think I don't think you have to like fight and push. Kids eat. It's natural. I think people take their own anxieties perhaps and put it on their family. Don't if your wife has is a health nut or anything. She could be a sadist people. I'm not like judging anybody. I think Hashem designed us right a crazy I'm not here for the nutrition value or the in each family. Do as your family. If your mother was very careful, you only get this if she's a sadus. I'm not judging it. The way I see it has let kids kids find and they eat and they do the and Hashem built us right. It's very natural. I want to express that some people will say Rav Shawn who's kind and gracious and a beautiful person. He did he didn't need to bring us anything. He brought sushi for the guys. So there's a sentiment give Muser and then serve it after we'll hold the guys here like a good plan. I went with Schlommo to and some other guys to an institution well-meaning and good people. They they had sandwiches behind me during the speech. They said when he's done we'll serve the sandwiches. So I asked the place I don't like that game at all. I don't like that first of all let people eat. Let people here have Sean so gracious. such said it doesn't need to be used like cold but people might leave after the okay so they got kindness and they got food and they some a kind yid brought another yid misinus I'm thrilled with that but I think we also almost train people what to like more than what if you listen to the shar you get maybe we listen to and we really like it I have a thing that I think y didn't like the nama really once said, "I don't think you need tricks for it." I actually think our nishama wants good things. Like Bemis, I don't think you need tricks. So I like that we ate sushi and now Rab said we had sushi now. Let's learn. And if somebody just ate sushi and right now doesn't want one, that's also wonderful. Slowly, but our nish wants good. I don't think we have to like set things up. If somebody all those they have learning programs and I like nice things you could serve food there. You don't have to make it at the end and then a guy's learning. I would advise if you have a learning program of donuts maybe give the donuts out at the beginning. There's nothing wrong. I don't mind like a guy comes and a guy maybe the sush even helps people come. Excellent. But it's not we really like Tyra. I really believe that the yid wants to learn. The yid's interested in tra. could tell you in yeshiva I was walking around this morning looking at the shar I called ra was with sniki I'm so moved it's early in the year and guys are sitting by sharim Judah why do you go to sheer judah does anybody pay you daily to go to sheer absorb >> he goes to sheer because he's close to right thinking the man's been going Judah banquetss has been going to share on the daily judah I have a belief the the fundamental belief of the yeshiva a Ryan Muny, a psychologist in Muny called me up. He said, "I've been studying Judah." Psychologist in Muny called me up. He said, "I've been studying the yeshiva for years. I figured you out." He said, "You trust people. You're crazy." And I really believe we have an issue. And I think people the sense that Rabbi Shapiro teaches in a school and refuses to give tests for his class. So people say nobody will learn if you don't give tests. People really want to learn. I sincerely believe that we want we come with premises that nobody will. It's not true. I watched the sh this morning. early in the year and it's before guys have big shar and slowly the the shar will get bigger and you watch people talking and learning I watch I watch Russen cat Brownstein cheer I walked there was so pleasant and beautiful and why is somebody at cheer he wants to learn because he because he wants to learn he wants to connect he wants to find out he he because people have nishas like it's real it's true it's accurate so I I want express the appreciation. A yid came. It's so pleasant. He doesn't need to bring anything. We to have a yid like this come is is an idealistic person. I like when the idealist of the world meet each other. I I'm happy you're here. You're somebody who for years has brought Jewish teenagers. Anybody who knows of Shan, he could do anything in the world. He's a capable person. And there's nothing wrong if somebody would be a CEO of a business. But it's quite cool that somebody took his talents and gave it to Clausville. It's very cool. I want to say to guys here when you run your own businesses nobody's saying I don't evaluate that you do it lash but when you run whatever business you run really take care of people. Now if a person could give their talents for and things like that ash even somebody runs other businesses run a nursing home and you could do it completely I'm proud of my wife started a business a year ago we're not getting involved why people do it they want to make money people get married why they do it that they're lonely maybe they want a connection and then they become the biggest giver in the world they become a parent husband I'm not evaluating your motive We actually can merge our essence. We can merge our nish and our a guy goes to work to make money. I'm proud of my wife. She actually cares to run a good business. She pays her employees on time. That's a mitzvah. She makes sure people are well taken care of. She feels good about the supporting and supplying and taking care of giving a good product, taking care of her workers. And you could become from a place where you started about yourself. You can become a giver. Life works like that. And to become a giver and to give and to care. Somebody can get involved in a camp. I'm not analyzing the motive. Often it's pure. Let's say somebody did it. By the way, I had a mother asked me that my kid just wants to come to Waterberry to party. I was like, that's great. It's great. You don't have to. He wants to come. He wants to be happy. Why do you want to come here? Because I want to be happy. I want to party. I want to have fun. I think to that mother who said, "My son just came to party. You got married to be happy and now you're a tremendous giver. You're a mama." Hashem made our bodies and a nishama could work together. Your motive could be very physical. You want to have fun. A guy wants to have fun. A great motive to come to yeshiva. Then what happens here? He finds his soul. He finds ty. And we started that he wants to be happy. That's not bad. That's a good thing. A guy goes to work, he wants to make money. That's his motive. Great. So good. Hashem made us. Shem made us, right? We need money. And then he finds idealism. He become somebody works with youth and gives over the star could be. It was fun. It was this is probably Lashma. But the the places people can become. Then you become a supplier and career and you're taking care of people and you're providing you can get to very deep places in your own businesses one day. Why you started? Excellent. You needed money completely thinking about you. Maybe even your family then it's very lishma. Then actually run a good business. Give good shoes to people. If you're a nursing home, take care of people beautifully. Even spend a little more to make sure. Of course I want to make money. I'm not saying I'm doing it to take care of people. Saying it that the world works. I need money and then I become a giver. I have seen the people in business who actually care about the person. the people they supply to I see they have much more energy in business the guy it's only about the dollars on frustrating days there's no there's no energy there a guy can manage an apartment building and really like take care of the tenants care about it he cares he has a pride he has a good building people in his building are well taken care of you could become like the deepest giver from a place nobody's saying he did it for that I know people in the food business who are incredibly generous to actually like feeding people and they care about it in a good way and nobody's saying he did it for that he did it to make money but we work it works together but I want to appreciate somebody who for years and years ran ran a summer program for hundreds hundreds and thousands over the years of kids are better yidden because of I appreciate you I'm thankful you're here just give you continued to help his people. I want to express a thank you to Schlommo Tobal. He is a Talmud of the Yeshiva. He is somebody who's yet somebody who's very very close very very close to Rabbi to Raalmuk. Somebody who's a sensitive person, a deep person. I want to express and I'm not trying to pressure anybody. It's normal. I can't say I did this. The typical is when we have wedding invitations, you put them in the mail. There is something so classy to hand deliver an invitation. It's very classy. If you even know why we don't do why do we do why do we do wedding invitations? There's a reason. If you're invited to a wedding, you have to go. That's the If you're invited to a wedding, a Yid goes to another Yid's wedding. It's very serious not to go to a wedding. It's not simple not to go to Yid's wedding in Allah. A bris is that way. Your wedding's that way. Alpan big sadikim. I could tell you my father was one of the busiest people I ever met in my life. A guy here would invite him to the wedding. He barely knew he was invited. He went my father time. I don't know a human who used time like my father. His time every second in the house. There was two seconds he learned. It was way at the out of when he wasn't dancing he was learning. My father time was was his was huge seconds we utilized yet he traveled every night with my mother kamat the whole year to weddings because that's not a yid's wedding you go the reason Israel does wedding invitations is it's not really called you're invited is that called an invitation so you don't have to go that's why we mail but there's a classy person to a to your grandmother you don't mail an imitation you say grandma I'm a I'm the now they're people dignified people. I'm blown away and I know the handing of the invitation I want you to come is crazy. It's you did it instinctively. It's it's a it's the classiest people in the world do it that way. I always wanted such a thing that that's I I we should all live in such a space but it fits you. It fits this and by this should build a wonderful beautiful should be a happy home full of carnos is full of s should be just a happy beautiful space so mazle welcome home I want to continue on and welcome man is back here he's somebody who grew tremendously I want to I want to really welcome back home I'm thankful he's here he's one of the rear numbers. I struggle being in touch with the guys in Artisro because my phone can't call Eritus. Blessed be the Lord. His American number works. I don't know how you pulled that off, but I've tried it and we've spoken. But I'm just thankful you're back. Appreciate you being here. In a few minutes, I'm going to ask to play something nice and I'll ask. >> I want to share a story. A miracle happened to me last night. I want to share it because you're supposed to. When miracles happen, when you see Hashem, when you see Hashem, share it with other people. Share that with me. Let's elevate his name together. There's Hashem. There's Hashem. I want to tell you a story. Somebody's Everybody believes in Hashem. Somebody wants to be a kifer. You have to work hard because things happen that it can't be. Something happened to me that there's no odds to. I'm so thankful to Hashem. I want to publicly give the person that the story happened through was here. So I appreciate him a lot. Say his name, but it's a private story. I'll tell you what happened. Tell you what happened. I would like to be more organized. I struggle to be the most organized and I'm working on myself. If I don't just and I'm getting better slowly. It's funny I'm saying that a day was starting Muser late. There was an interview we started football late but I am working. I I want to be a more organized person Brownstein here who helps organize us tremendously have people here who run things and are able the dorm council are incredible. Schlommo did yesterday the whole day and all the dorm counselors. So we have a lot of people that help things events and things run smoothly here but I'm trying and I would like to be more organized. You can't hurt people and just be disorgan you want to be efficient and effective. I try very hard. I speak some since we went through the thing we went through. I have made a decision to travel a bit. I don't like missing yeshiva. I try to be with my family. I travel a bit more than I ever did in my life. Starting from it's a mission. In the meantime, doing it a little less, but I'm still traveling a bit. Trying I like being with our people at Cly Lame and the summer somebody asked me to speak last night in Stern College and and I agreed. I think I wrote it down in a calendar, but it was last year's calendar and my wife and I began a new calendar and last year's calendar got thrown out because it's a new year and I didn't put it in the calendar and I had no idea that I was scheduled to speak last night. It was made up months ago. The one who organized it is very on top of things, very put together. He organizes the schedule months in advance and everything's exact. And I was, it seems, was slated to speak last night. He sent that advertisement which I have no access to. I'm not on WhatsApp and I don't have access. I didn't see any advertisements and as far I did not know I was speaking last night. We had a volleyball tournament here. I had no idea about a speech. I get a call late at night the night before the speech that is absolutely I had no idea I'm speaking nothing. And it would have been a few hundred people were there. People traveled serious distances. It was girls from Stern. Another school drove in from far away to join this event to come to the speech. They had a bus and they drove in to join the speech. People came in from Tene from five towns from different from great neckl and I had a shas there. People came lisa I didn't know about this speech. The night before the speech here sheepishly calls me and he says a friend of his is going to the sh girl is going to the sh is his friend. Could he have a ride? He wants he was he wants to meet her there. Could he have a ride to the shar? So I tell him there is no such. I don't know what you're talking about. So he says, "No, there's a shear." I said, "I wish we could go together to the shar, but there is no sheer. There's no You're speaking in stern. I'm not speaking in stern. I don't know what you're talking about." So he sends me a copy of this poster that I'm speaking this. I told my wife, "AI is funny. Do you think I should make one up that he's speaking?" and send it to him. I thought he tricked me. I thought it was a joke. I thought he was a he's a good friend of mine. I thought he was like playing with me. I asked my wife if I should make an AI that he's speaking and send it to him. But I asked him and he was quite serious about it that the speech was on. My wife and I actually tried to call the organizer, but he was in Eritis. He said he's always on top the day before he'll send me like a text, but he was in Eritis. We did reach him and because of this call of the bak who by the way his friend ended up cancelling him the next day so he didn't need to go and the only reason he called us says hashem I want to express I would have been very embarrassed I'm not talking about I could be so such a sadic oh people would have come for no reason that's not what I'm thinking about I would have been incredibly embarrassing to get a call on there are 500 people waiting for your speech like uh and I'd be out of breath in volleyball gear like excited about what's going on here. I would have been incredibly embarrassing like crazy and then you if I want to be less selfish to think about people a school traveled by bus to come to the shar so they spent the whole day in school and then bus to a sheir that the head of the she now I have to work on being more organized but the kindness of hashem is hashem the odds of this somebody's friend said I need could we meet there and then the person cancelled it's just hashem dil I got you back here. I'm very very appreciative. I don't think there's so many odds for this. This is just my Shem said, "I got you. I got you. I'm going to also take the lesson and try to be more organized. Write things down and make sure it's not last year's calendar. That's a pretty good thing. October, you can the new calendar start in September that you get in the mail." But I have to be a little more careful with that. But I wanted to share this nay story. It's always good to share the kindness of Hashem. You feel the kindness of Hashem and share this with the here. I thought it was like just really really remarkable. I appreciate it a lot and wanted to share with the this incredible nace. When I came before I spoke, I this just I think the guys will appreciate this. When I came before I spoke, I don't like speeches a lot because I don't want it to be just somebody sometimes a speech in terra pulls people further from hashem and his toyra. I like fabanging. I like song. I like when people we can connect to it's not distant from now by girls. I can't sing very well. And later this year I want to ask I will personally ask Hashem I will ask wife and hashem by next year this this event I will ask his wife and him to come and we'll make a whole mat. I didn't have a mat, but before I spoke, somebody announced that the Stern College soccer team won for the first time, I think, in six years, not the championship, a game. I think they said the first time in six years. If you could find out, Sean, I think it was the first time in six years they won a game. It's division three. It's tough. And the crowd gave a polite cheer and then I was introduced. I'm not having that. To me, people won. I I value people and they won the soccer team won. This was not going to be a polite cheer. I asked there were three soccer players who came in their uniforms. Nash and Sane. They played a game. They won the first time. I had them stand up, introduce themselves. We hacked the game. It was two to one. We won two to one by the way. We beat St. Joseph. We took him down. And I to me there were three standing ovations afterwards. There was no way. You were just like, "Okay, let's get to the shear. Stop. >> Stop. What? >> Aby. >> Aby. Who? >> What's happening? Who's Abby? >> I'm all confused. What do we got? >> Hey, come on. Your shirt. >> Okay. I if they mention you mention you got to speak about him that's the in this week's parish so then we're doing it before a song means if you mention it you say something nice it's not only when they're departed it's interesting we always say when they're gone I don't know why we say if you ever mention it you say something nice the guy said Avi Bertram's name. I want to express that the amount that he does for yeshiva is crazy. The amount that you organize and the buses to and from the offsh day in day out the le shabas cakes that you make what you do in yeshiva a crazy crazy this year I want to go with if a guy dares Mrs. I will personally be mad. We would be crazy >> this year. This year we go, but there'll be buses. Wo on to the guy who doesn't get on the bus for Aby's wedding. Thank you, Abby, for all that you do for the Yeshiva. Thank you. Thank you, Abby. Morty Kramer. Morty Kramer, welcome home. Mara Kramer, welcome home, Morty. Welcome. Okay, before we get I want to share. We're getting there. But I want to ask being here if could do I like that song. You do you lift me up. I like that. You raise me up. You raise me up. If we could do that then I'm going to ask to do a song. and down and oh my soul so we troules come and my hunger in me then I am Still wait here in the silence until you come and sit around with me. You raised me up so I can stand on mountain. You raised me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on his shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be. You raised me up so I can stand alone. You raised me up to walk on stormy seas. I am sure when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up more than I can. I want maybe I want for a minute if I could ask Schlommo. There's a song that's we talk about. But we're an idealistic person who's impacted Yidden come to join us today. Revan Aam Ber is a is a yid who impacted our people in crazy ways. She was one of the hostages and Aam Ber became a shime shabas. She started keeping shabas in Gaza. Nissim. You heard of Nissim. Nissim. >> Did you hear of a burger? You I want you to know say the name Aamburger. Say it. Sadus's name. >> Say it. N >> Aam Ber was one of the hostages. She started keeping Shabas Kesh in Gaza and she started serving Hashem. She said Aamburgger said that one of the terrorists to like mock her put a safer like handed her. found a safer that one of the soldiers misplaced and like gave it to her like some good will help you and she learned it was a safer she learned to safer cover to cover and kept everything in the safer. She's like a big big big person at Sadus. She impacted our people when she was being taken home. She she put on a board a black board to I have chosen a path of faith. She energized our people crazy. This hero, this sadus, this Isa, this girl who were looking to yurus tus she agam burger put out to our people. I have chosen the path of amuna. So I want to ask schlommo if he can sing to us the song. It's from till but the words that a burger taught our people and seared into our consciousness. A person who chose faith if we can. Thank you. and God I have you're all that Let the moon and moon of mighty and God I have you're all that I Oh, the way that I live and the way that I brea the way that I see. The things that you do for me. The things that you do for me. The way that I brea. The way that I brea. The way that I see. The things that you do for me. The things that you do for me. and Lord of the mighty God. I have you. You're all that. You're all that. I am the am God I have in you. You're all that I need. And the way that I live in the way that I brea the way that I see, the thing that you do for me. Oh, the thing that you do in the way that I live and the way that I breathe and the way that I see the things that you do for me, the things that you do for me. Oh my heart. God, I have faith in you. You're all that I need. If I could ask before I want to share a piece of Tyra that that's meaningful to me. I want to share with the Before I share this piece of Tyra I want to welcome Aaron Feinad back home. He's going back. He's going back to her stroll. But he's one of the most humble, sweet, sincere grown people we ever he was a hard and soul of the base medish for years. I'm going to ask He can't just slide in here and we give a little shout out. I'm going to ask, do we have the the drum that the drum here? Aaron, if we could do one song, Schlommo, we have to do one song with Aaron playing it. No. Aaron, could you bring it forward? Annex. >> Is it in the annex? >> What song would be very good? See always voice, but you also like um Azar Meda works with that. >> What's the best song with that? >> What song works with that? >> See works with that. But does that do awesome? >> What song do you want to do? >> Let's do seon. See my Seal by the single My name is Hey. Yeah. Hey yeah. Hey yeah. Hey my name your I'm just going on Yeah. Hey. Yeah. That was awesome. Thank you Schlommo. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome back and welcome back to Schlommo Edstone as well. Welcome home. >> The the piece of Tyra that I want to learn with the and I Joshi I want to be present. I I need to think about it this year. It's bringing new thoughts to mind as Tyra always should. We're different than we learned last year. We're different. There's something Hashem tells us in parishes abi that needs studying. In the first of parasyak, it describes and compliments him wildly. Is it sadik tim is a perfect saddic. Now saddic and tim saddic's good already. What's sadik tim speak about what a saddic and what a but it's like an extreme. Some say is but there's some perfection to his some perfection to the it's not just it needs thought and I want to think about it what this timos is like complete the sadic is complete sadic what are you being misadic There's some sadikim and I'm offering a I want to get to something. There's some but it's hard to understand them. The person's living right clap but they're not working with people. People are frustrated from them. They're always difficult and they're now there's but they don't know how to make their operative in this world. The timos is that they now apply the sidkus here. Somebody could be at sadic. Let's say they go to somebody says they don't want to eat the food. You could do it and people just feel like forcing something here. But to me is like works here. It's a certain that works in this world. My father's yard sites coming in a week and I think about my I call him his worked in this world. He fit here. People liked him and enjoyed him. He was at sadic who like worked here. I hear in the word theimus that it works here. It's at sadic tyak complimented that he was at sadik t his sidkas worked here. Whatever you say it compliments not just that he's at fast forward to later in parishes. Hashem's talking to here. Hashem's talking about he was at talking to Hashem says to go come yourself to the whole family. you I have seen you're at sadic in this generation all of a sudden it doesn't call him at he seems to have been downgraded talking about nayak he was at saddak this extra mile of sedkos whatever you say in the sedkos but he was at later talking says I see you as a sadic. Whoa. What happened to the sadic? So Rashi's bothered by the cash and Rashi quotes that I need glasses to see. But Rashi says it doesn't say when talks to here learn something not in front of a person you could say their whole praise. Not just you could sounds like you should should praise people. It's not just saying you could. Hashem does that when you talk about people praise. The Rambam says is to praise people. I have watched guys in yeshiva at the onset of friendships. When guys don't have an emotional bond, there's a lot of chering. A lot of like making fun, a lot of like um trolling is the word guys use. I've driven many a car ride and guys like troll each other. That's cute. And there's some brotherly normal to like chop. There's a normal. But I see as guys emotionally get close. They don't have to troll each other. Even in the trolling, I see friendship, but it's just they don't know how to like back each other up and relate. Then you see people, they become like deep friends and they love each other and care. I see like the trolling disappear. I don't need to like be cynical or I look we like they actually compliment each other. She say, you know, you're really special. You know, you're like they say like but like it's comfortable and it's real. It's not forced. The Rambam when he talks about loving other he gives a couple of examples only says to be on the money of somebody else but he says to praise to be so not in front of a person you're supposed to say their whole praise but in front of a person don't say their whole praise mix of say only part so Hashem talking about lays it out this high level talking now it's in front of him you're talking to him only say part and the question that I want to contemplate this year is why why not say the whole praise what is that lay it on you're talking to the guy say why would you only do mix don't say the whole what is that why not when you're speaking to a person lay it on hashem 's talking to Nayak. Lay it on. Say the truth. Why not say the truth? The assumption and I want to speak this out because this is how we learn things. The assumption is you don't want the person to get to his head. You don't have to be arrogant. That would be the first thing I think many would think. So in front of a guy like don't say everything. He's there. I spoke about Shan. I spoke a little. I could say a lot more about Sean. I spoke about the schlam could say more but does ah mix in front of a person don't say it all is thehat the person's going to become I don't think so and I want to say why I don't accept that shot somebody could say you know don't let it get to his head I don't think that's true and very simply I don't think it's true because knowing your mileus is not what creates ga I think you become less of a gifa if you know your mileus I don't I think that's what creates arrogance. Arrogance is you're too busy with yourself. Arrogance is your mom is too busy. You're too busy with yourself. What are you so busy with yourself? You're so busy. People even in giving. Share yourself and stop being busy with yourself. Don't make it about you. Don't be so busy with you. I like I see guys sing. They're so be almost started a culture here. Beautiful voice. He's not busy like I'll sing a song. There's like such a humility. So I don't think knowing your Milo creates arrogance. I don't think it's true. So why not tell him his holy or become too hoody? By the way, if no maybe don't say any of his mil. I don't think that's the vert. So I I it but it's not I don't think that's how the arrogant person's created that. If it made him arrogant, don't tell him anything good. I don't think that's true. So what is this that makes make fun of why would this be in front of the person you only say part now I want to say something else that's true but I don't think it's a good terret to this I think bigger than complimenting your kids is your kids find out you say good things about them better than telling a guy a compliment is a guy hears now don't do this conniving shouldn't be a ploy then you stop you're a game player it like says more in front of me that you think to say good. So I want to say I don't know if there's I've never said this trap before. I want to say perhaps I've never said this chap before but this year I was thinking about according to me is in front of him praises say a little there's no like not because you shouldn't say the whole thing not don't say the whole thing be fun of is not the main place of compliments so say you said something nice shal be of it's much more powerful when you say it to him. So the savior is saying you're making me feel good. Say it when he's not around. Really hold of somebody. It's much more powerful what you really hold. So I want to claim the fun of is in front of him. You're not busy with his praises. You don't need to be what you hold. Not in front of him. Bring to him not to say. So according to what I'm saying, Hashem doesn't say in front of him. I'm not busy with his that's that's when I wasn't near him. Not in front of him. That's like the I think about him. I'll go crazy. >> Then in front of him they said you'll show up with that. >> It's I don't think it's simple. I think Josh is right. The simple shot is like don't do. According to me, the is not is not because it's not where you're busy praising. The praise is not where you're handing him. The praise is in you is when you're not near him. Then show up to him with what you hold about him. That's what hit me this year. Now I don't know. I do want to express that you're supposed to shalo of say his phrases says to me you're supposed to be busy with the of people. I once told a rebby, what you say to the guys is not the point. When you're on vacation with your wife in Hawaii, what do you think about the guys? What do you say to her about the guys? That's what matters. Are you really? Do you really hold of the place of praise is not by the guy? It's when you're not near him, what do you say about him? It's not a trick. If you want to praise your kids, praise them not in front of it's not if it's a trick. Tricks suffer kids. Tricks don't work. People will will see your tricks and it don't work. The icker praise theor place of praise of a person is not in front of him. It's it's it's about what you hold of him, not what you say to him. So theor I again I don't know Moyo this is the reason but what comes out for whatever reason is the place of praise is not in front of him that's what you see here not in front of Hashem goes wild when Hashem's talking to he says a little he doesn't say the whole deal so I see for whatever reason the main place of praise is what you how you relate to him when you're not in front of him And then you show up with that praise is not a good way like to to like but if you say praises to people in front of them you're you're like almost manipulative. Oh, you're such a sadic. Say that you know if by the way if you said not in front of him you're such a sadic when you speak to him feel that you're speaking to it because you hold that weight the place of praise is not what you say to him it's what you said not to him it's what you said up here to you that's what I'm learning here I think there's such a truth to this moyo I don't theor For the guy that is there, it's probably a different you know for the guy hearing a different saying >> that's what I was saying. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was saying. For the one saying the main place of praise is not what you say to him. It's what you said about him to him. It's what you hold to say I said to him you're such a good per if you really held him. You don't even need to say that to him. If you really held that way when you talked to him, when Hashem talked to Nayak, Hashem spoke to him as T. So to your g say the whole thing, but he what you say about him is more powerful than we say to him. It doesn't answer. So why not say the whole thing to him? It doesn't answer that. But I'm I'm expressing that I see here the main place of praise. So I don't know why. Why would it hurt? So when you're in front of him tell I don't know. It's not it's not just telling the rule of the rule is both that also function is that he says it's not just like oh and >> it's not just like you're laden to say kool the ma what I want to say and I believe this to the core of my being the main place of praise of your kids when you're not in front of them is alone not that they not as a trick trick like the kids should hear that's in front of him. You're just playing games. Talking about what you say alone to your wife. You're talking to your wife. Your main of your kids is what you say about them. The main relationship to any is not what you say to them. It's what you say about them. And how cool is it that for whatever reason in front you're not supposed to say everything and not in front, you're supposed to say everything. >> The main I don't know. I can't figure it out. I don't know. Bobby, I admit that I don't know. Why not in front? I don't know. I can't figure that out. I don't know. I don't know. Like, why not? Maybe maybe like you're not supposed that's not the place. Like, what are you doing? >> I don't I don't I can't figure it out. Why not? I don't know. I don't want to say last year's shot because I I'm not there today. I'm thinking that I don't know. I can't figure it out. Make the guy arrogant doesn't become arrogant. >> Huh? If you leave it open >> like the reason I don't like that shot I want to say why didn't Joshi says there's a somebody praised hem you finished the problem is that God's talking God could say all the praises he can be infinite and Hashem only says mix see maybe he's just teaching us then it's a bad teaching if the whole verb is that I won't be able to say it all God could say it all and yet God doesn't say all I don't know to make him arrogant. I don't think people come by if they know they're good. I think people should know they're good. I don't think that's arrogance knowing you're good. Arrogance you're busy with yourself. You're all when you're selfish and self-centered. You're arrogant. Person knows they have an issuant person knows otherwise every single person who's a head counselor rebi every Rebi in the world is arrogant. You clearly think you could teach if you teach it. Arrogance is not that I could do something. Arrogant is to be about it, to think you own it, to be self, to share it. Hashem gives us all gifts and you share it. Beautiful. Beautiful. Hashem gives me, gives you, gives him, gives her. We share. Beautiful. Of course, they should share. It's not about you're not stuck in yourself. So, I don't think telling somebody their I can't figure out why you shouldn't tell the price. I I want to think I want to figure it out. I don't want guys if he can't, I can. We all need to figure it out. But I want to think this year. I want to ponder and think about this. I'm asking homework, asking Schla that we should think. Why shouldn't you? I don't know. But there's something I'm learning nonetheless that the place of praise, it says to say the praise not in front of him. That's a truth. I almost wonder that you don't say the whole place, not the time to praise. It's not the time in front of him. You're busy. It's not the time in front of him to praise him. the time that you show up with the praise that you said not in front of him. He said don't sit in the whole praise. It's not the time to praise the guy in front of him. A guy's here and then you start like flattering. We should tomorrow's I should speak about maybe I'll do that. We'll speak about the it's not the time in front. Now you're like praising now I'm here. I hear I hear you relate what you hold. I have spoken to guys I'm close to about not in front of him bigger than I said in front and then show up with that in front. Show up with that. That's what I'm wondering. Does it answer why not Koolo? Maybe. I'm not sure of Sean. I'm not sure. Is that the reason not to do it? Somehow I sense in front is not the time to praise. >> You think not to do it in front of someone? >> Not fully. Not fully. Yeah. Don't >> never say in front of someone. It says not to say that in front mix do a little bit >> you could say but mix us you don't say everything you're you're the time to praise a person when you're not in front you like this chat >> that I'm saying even and even why not to do because not the time to do it >> that's not we're praising works show up with what you did not in front Checker, >> welcome home. Checker. Great to see you. >> That's so cool. Check saying thank you. What catches football with sugar? >> These guys came to the football. You have some competition. You should love it. >> So cool. He's saying lashhara is like the deepest thing because that's when you're supposed to people like like it's like it brings out the sinister nature not in front when you're supposed to be most praising of him. Oh, that's how you realize you really >> one of our one of our told me that he worked for Gim this summer and he said I'm the most into my whole life. I said well it wasn't like a guy wasn't looking to I said what did you see? Said I didn't like being around. I said what I like but he was like very frustrated. I said what did you see? He said he didn't like that they knock each other behind their back. said when a guy leaves that I don't like said I'm around yen the guy leaves he's safe nobody like grips him say oh he's such a good guy chicken he said I in the office he said I was so bothered you like each other it's just not a thing you could put him down when it's like and they just know it's like acceptable I said you like each other what he said I was so bothered he's not there he said I know when I didn't show up that day said I know it was a juicy conversation he don't like that he's Not in front is you speak the praise of a person that's that's when you're supposed to be most busy with the guy's praises like when you're not when you're not with someone then you're like defining it and saying all the things when you're with the person that's like you're limiting it by You actually have the experience with the person, right? >> So interesting. >> You don't >> almost like the saying could be atome sometimes saying it's funny is brilliant when you're dealing with him the saying it. Can I say something? The younger me in songs liked words. I'm getting older. I like no words in songs. Words are sometimes a symptom. I love in songs when we also just do the na na na without words could be a simpum a limitation when I'm dealing with you stop saying your praises like relate to him with what you you don't need to say it like you're it's not mix it what are you doing hello hello hello relate to the guy he'll see who im me holds me you'll feel that friend stop being busy with hashem sees he says you're allowed to say something Nice. But it's not deal like experience it and give it over. I think that then we may be on to something. I I like this. It's hitting me more. The other the old shut I had was go get making somebody gic limiting somebody defining him. I have flaws with both. They're not sitting well by me. It's hitting me more. Something like this is hitting me more. If the guys take it as homework, these are two rashies in our par not in front of Hashem lays it on. He said in front of Nayak is limited. What is that? Why not? Why not go all in? That's my question to the we gave some an approach. We have like an idea for an approach, but it's early in the week. We're holding Thursday. We have Friday and Shabases. We have Shabas. I'm asking the if we could if anybody could ponder this and have like but we have some >> it's very hard to take a fully loaded cover like when a person it's very hard someone like starts actually saying really like wow you're good you're like things it's like it's a lot it could be just it's punch inappropriate it's hard I don't know people don't like I don't load compliments on people >> what do I do with that like >> do I always have to be that are you like Dashi said, "You're not being nice to a person when you load it on." None of Do we feel good? That's a good question. Does it feel good when somebody like loads it on? Sometimes like bring it on, >> Ari. Do we like it? >> A big part of relationship. >> Do you like when they fully load it on? Oh, that's like socially like >> they might be saying once in a while it could be okay, but like usually it's not like very romantic or it's intense. Maybe it's not >> people don't load at all. >> You guys might be right. I like chat and truth. They might be right. I want to think about that. You have to think. Maybe it's not a dere to It's funny. There are cases when you praise and you almost make it you're bigger than the person to be careful even a person comes you lay it on like I say I want to say Rashan's my friend you could praise I had a case where I was introducing a r and I felt to praise him too much was like ga for me I'm not like as if you're like the bigger you see you say something nice >> they're such a they're tiny Like saying the whole thing could be overwhelming for a guy. Could it be demeaning? See, I don't want to say demeaning because Hashem's saying the praise here. >> Right. Right. No, no, no. But I'm saying by Hashem if he said the whole thing, it wouldn't be demeaning unless he's teaching us. So I don't want to say demeaning, but it's intense. Maybe in front you're overwhelming somebody laying it all on. I don't know. There might be a miss. I like the truth. I like the truth. I don't I want the truth. I want to say this what you said and thehat said hits me more than the wholehat I don't buy them ga I don't think so I don't think it makes somebody arrogant if they're true God is talk why would a big person be arrogant and if the truth creates arrogance that's weird I don't think I don't think that's true say the praise I don't and then if you did it not in front just be just as arrogant he hears about it so arrogant I don't like thehat thehat that if you say the praises you're defining and you're limiting God's is talking he says it all he says it good don't like those tatam the tubehatam was saying today is schlommo says in front of him you don't have to you shouldn't be busy with it relate to him that way you don't so don't do it the words are a sum of what you're supposed to relate to I like that shot a lot in front of him all you have is to say good about him in front of him relate I like that is fire >> husband and wife together you write You know Rev. Geyseser said the funniest thing you'll appreciate this. Rev. Gesler said, "Did anybody experience Were you ever talking to somebody and then you see each other?" Rev. Geisler said, "If you're talking to somebody and then you see you quickly hang up, you can't do the phone anymore. Why don't you continue?" I've had it on this campus. I'm talking and I'll go see Schllay like we laugh and you hang up. Why not keep going? Because if I see you like talk like put it down. It's good but if you're here like put it down. That's what was saying. Relate him with that. Stop saying it. Stop being m I like it. It's ringing it. He might be right. It like that that sounds like and it's I could feel that I it might even connect to what they're saying. They're saying when a person does it, it doesn't feel great. This might be why for whatever reason Josh is just observing it doesn't feel good somebody like you're sitting there like okay feel what you said I like what you said like we have to think why not maybe it's this you are right doesn't I don't know why is it intense it's not the Hashem's doing it then it should be the right guy you're all so I don't maybe that's why maybe we have two mahal here I'm asking is homework we did say a mix plan. We'll stop right now. Thank you, Kevra.