What Important Life Questions Would You Ask Two Business Giants?

hello everybody how's everybody doing it is truly an honor to be back with all of you and I could not Echo the media guys remarks this has been truly remarkable you guys have so much energy and you have brought it all here today so thank you so much for making this week so incredible really we have on stage some of the really the brightest stars of the Jewish people people who spend their days working but really every second is dedication to the Jewish people and we have some questions that we're going to ask them and really try to engage in a more of a relaxed way some of the ideas that we've been talking about today let me begin with Ralph you know we speak a lot about this idea of mentorship young people today and they their desire to grow talk to us a little bit about what mentorship means to you maybe either how as you started your career and people you look up to or now as your career is continuing to grow and people that you're mentoring good afternoon everyone before I even get started I just want to acknowledge Mr Ellie horn and Aaron Wilson for doing this amazing I mean how many Summit such an amazing speech we just heard that was a true kid HSM I'll try to do my best so talking about mentorship for me is really pretty easy because as a very young child interested in business I grew up as the youngest of five children my dad was a holocaust Survivor my mother came from England so I had no grandparents but lived with a total dedication to the elders that's what we spoke about at home so very early on I would always look and ask advice from older people um one one piece of advice I could say is later on as I got older I realized that the best advice was my mom and my dad but that took a while to figure out so we will get there but my mom was my mentor my dad was a tremendous Mentor but throughout my whole life I've always looked and asked people and it's really interesting because in business I have been I give tremendous gratitude to Hashem for the ability that he's given me and I thank him every day but I've also met some of the most amazing people that have mentored me from Jew to not you um ten years ago I had the honor of meeting Charlie Munger they said Charlie give me some advice and he said I'm going to give you a very short advice take the high road it's less crowded and many many people throughout my career have given me advice I met him starting out my career I made a banker and I said to him give me some advice he said I'm going to tell you something you're not going to realize for 30 years that I what I told you and it was 100 good advice I mean 30 years came I actually called him and I said remember 30 years ago you gave me this advice he said well I've told this to everyone and I thanked him for it so I think mentorship is not just people that are professionals that are older than you mentorship is also your peers I have many people that are mentors of mine that are younger than me but I've been in have experienced Saul and I have a very special relationship his ability to navigate through government Affairs and other things is just masterful and I've reached out to him and asked him for advice and he's reached out to me to ask her advice and let me just say something and this is a little bit controversial just because you ask advice doesn't mean you always have to listen to that advice but it is a gathering of information that really makes you a better person in thinking through those things so just to recap I will just say and I know that we're on a time schedule but being here in this room with so many young ambitious students mentors and people that are looking so I hosted this sabbath five six students that I've met through my career one of them I actually met over here and I said I'm going to be at Alami and give me some ideas and he said to me I was at an olami conference five years ago and it changed my life and he said I was with my colleagues and my peers and it took someone like my like myself but was the encouragement of my friends that got me to start wearing my keeper and starting to keep Shabbos so I'm here just to share with you some of the experiences that I've had I hope that answers some of that question thank you that's all I Turn to You Now [Applause] is it working yeah you're good yeah so let's spend a little bit on what Ralph said and again it's a pleasure first of all I I Echo what Ralph said and uh kudos to to Miss Ellie horn and Wolfson the whole Wolfson family it's an unbelievable thing I took I come back from here inspired I talk I go a lot lately Ralph and I have been on the speaking uh circuit we've gone a lot to talk but talk about mentorship and he just said something that reminded me something that just happened to me but yeah listen we didn't have grandparents we weren't fortunate enough our grandparents perished in the in the Holocaust and to be honest with you uh um we were meant it a lot you know our parents at least my father came as a as a pretty broken person liberated from the concentration camps together with Rabbi Lau everybody knows famous Rabbi loud from boken about and so I had a lot of mentors and and and and and uh I think the responsibility my mentorship were from people like Rabbi Moshe share people who really their mission was to rebuild From the Ashes their mission was to really rebuild and and that really put the impetus in me that whatever I do in my life I was I always say why did God put me in this position and I'm here to influence others to Mentor others to make a kidish Hashem and he talks about the kipa Ralph I'll tell you a crazy story that happened to me literally just a few weeks ago maybe two months ago I was at the NBA All-Star game so we do the NBA stuff and what we have around the NBA All-Star weekend is incredible we have maybe 80 or 100 people that join us for sharpness it happened over a couple of years but we sent out uh emails the commissioner sent out an email to all the Jewish employees at the MBA and they invite everybody to these are all traditional families most of them not show mesh about not Kosher and they come and they join us for a Shabbos wherever they All-Star game is we host a beautiful Shabbos we have kids that practice for six months my uncle Saul's Friday night meal it became a big big deal the young man walks in who I never met before and he comes over to me with his wife introduces his wife you gotta hear the story and he says to me I he gets very emotional and he hugs me and he takes me around and literally there are tears coming down his his cheeks and he said I wanted to call you two weeks ago but I knew that I'm gonna see you and I waited to tell you the story in person it says for the last 15 years he's been working at a huge public accounting firm a big public accounting firm and he says it was predominantly a Jewish firm but the rule in The Firm was no yamakis so it was a Jewish firm anybody couldn't wear his yamaka and it really bothered him he says two months ago there was a posting for a job at the MBA at the MB act it was the job posting for somebody in a high position in an accounting firm so he goes he does interview number one of course he goes to the interview without his yamaka and he says he goes to interview one interview two the final last interview he says Now's the Time they're ready to make me an offer Now's the Time to tell them I can't work on Shabbat you know we have holidays and he starts telling this interviewer and the interviewer turned red in the face and says now you're not telling me the truth you're not religious says to her what do you mean I'm not religious she says if you would really be religious you'd be wearing a keeper like Saul and all his children how could you be religious I the only religious people I know where the kippah you know all the time he says he turned he was so embarrassed he reached into his pocket and he pulled out to keep up and he says 15 years I worked in a Jewish accounting firm I couldn't wear my coupon I'm working at the MBA he says the most goddess place they play games on Shabbos they play games and things and here they're not really am I able to wear the armika they're telling me if you're religious you're a sign of religion is that you're wearing proudly a keeper and he's walking around at the NBA every day I got a note from the commissioner saying thought Saul thank you for being for blazing the way that we can have employees at the NBA wearing a yamaka so so so with mentoring mentoring is not always you know taking a kid and I'll tell you some more stories because Charlie was telling me that he wants to bring up his son to my office it became a destination you know what I'll take a second spot Ralph and then you'll go Charlie was telling me before that you know because we're in sports the kids it's very exciting for the kids you know and they come up and they see a religious guy you know with mezuz on the door and they're getting a kosher sandwich and they're and we're walking around with the yamaka and we have we have prayers in the in the office so it's very inspiring for these young kids so Charlie said is it okay he spoke to my son is it okay if I bring up my son Philip I'm going to tell you a story and I may have said this before maybe somebody's heard it but it's worth hearing it again so we have such a program we have a mentoring program in our office where we bring up families because it's so exciting for the kids we have a program that was started by the legendary uh uh Robinson young guys where we heard her name she see she's the one that started this program in my office we get families to come up totally on the Jewish families but really not affiliated you know a father a mother their kids we have a few families that come up at a time I give them a tour of the office we make them these customized jerseys you know their name in the back very exciting for them and and we sit down and we have a dinner and we tell over different stories so maybe I don't know it's a while ago um some couple comes up as part of the group it's a husband a wife a son and a daughter the daughter is about 10 or 11 years old the boy looked like Papa Mitzvah as Charlie said and this kid is pestering me with questions he says Saul when you you and your family you go to Super Bowl you have coaches I said yes you go to World Series yes I told him over the famous hot dog story right talk story so he's asking me you go how could and he's asking me a hundred questions about eating kosher wherever I go okay they left it was very nice about two weeks later my secretary tells me somebody's on the phone he's very irate he's very angry and he says he must speak to you I said who is he she said she comes back to me she tells me it's the father of that kid that was making you Meshuggah making you crazy by the things I pick up the phone and in a very angry voice his name was Jason he says Saul you you know what you owe me fifty thousand dollars I said I owe you fifty thousand dollars what did I do to you it says ever since my son came back from your office he's making my wife and I crazy he says I don't understand Saul goes to the World Series he eats kosher he goes to World Cup and Qatari it's kosher he goes wherever he goes they bring him kosher food my bar mitzvah is going to be in New York City and my bar mitzvah is not Kosher kempi he says the son is telling this to the father I said wow what a great what a great thing it's unbelievable I said he says yeah but the kosher caterer wants fifty thousand dollars more than the regular caterer and I couldn't figure out if he's joking with me or not so I said to him I said to him you know what Jason what an honor for my family to be able to host a culture bar mitzvah for your son I said I'm giving you my assistant give her the wire instructions tomorrow you have that fifty thousand dollars wait wait I thought the story the guy the guy breaks down crying on the phone he breaks down crying on the phone he says I'm a wealthy man the bar mitzvah is in the pierrotel I was there with my wife my Mitzvah cost a million dollars he had every Entertainer he was a very very wealthy man he says to me Saul this is going to be the first kosher Affair in our family in Generations he says if I'm telling this kid a story Esther we went to the bar mitzvah I'm walking around the kid is so proud he's schlepping me over all his friends there's Uncle Saul the guy that made me kosher my Mitzvah I stay in touch with this kid the kid is now going he's learning Hebrew he goes to Sunday school from nothing whether we that's mentoring mentoring is showing them that you could be successful you could do anything in your world my message to everybody here is as follows I'm not I'm not a Rabb boy that's Rabbi Harare there's other there's a shop Charlie if you feel that being religious keeping Shabbat eating kosher doing anything that you do is gonna stop you or hold you back from accomplishing anything you want to accomplish in life you're looking at two guys Ralph and myself they're gonna tell you absolutely it's baloney you could do whatever you want you don't have to compromise anything to accomplish they play games on Shabbos we have World Series games on Shabbos we everything on Shabbos we go to Crazy places if you're consistent and you're honest you can be religious and by showing it by example you could influence so many people for generations to come thank you Saul all right so so Ralph let me jump on that a little bit and let me turn to you how do I cup that it's impossible it's impossible but we each got to be our own person that's the key that's okay ubu my son always told me to buy a sports team I think I'm gonna do it now if you come back next year you'll own a team and the two of you will have kosher food in the in the suite and we won't play on shops right so but one thing that you definitely can share with everybody here and um I want to turn to you for for this opinion you know Saul mentioned in in his in his incredible way the idea of not compromising the idea of having beliefs and what the belief does um even in the face of adversity your your exposure to so many people in the business World your exposure in the work that you're doing um puts you in circumstances where Shabbat gets in the way holidays together there's so many times where in your career you've had these moments of where your faith and your career have so to speak seemed to have come in Conflict talk to us a little bit about your perspective and your experience about sort of faith in your career so I'm I'm going to start by saying just to Echo a little bit what Saul said that there are challenges and living in New York makes it a little easier because you know religious Jews are pretty dominant and people have met them but my firm does business across the country and I have had many opportunities that I could have capitulated and had and and said you know what it doesn't work but I think when people realize I'm in the finance world so I deal with Bankers I deal with so many diverse type of people I think what people really feel that you're sincere about things they really believe it I will tell you that I got a call from the number two person at Capital One one of the big Banks right everyone's heard of them who know what's in your wallet that famous ad and it's a Sunday morning at 10 o'clock and my phone rings and I say Rick is everything okay Sundays usually don't get called from Banks and he says to me Ralph I just want to share with you that this my summer home by the beach my neighbor that moved in his Orthodox Jew and Friday night I was sitting on my porch and I saw him having his Shabbat meal with his candles burning and his family and his wife and I called my wife I said Loretta come outside and I said look at that now I know what gives Ralph the energy and the strength a whole week it's his peace and Tranquility that he has on his Sabbath so I was like Blown Away I've had I had a situation where my phone rang five minutes before Shabbat and a banker calls me and says to me I want to tell you this very large loan was approved and I said oh thank you so much he said I didn't want you to go into your Sabbath being nervous about it when I called back on Sunday he says you should know I didn't have the last signature I knew I'd get it but I wanted you to have your priests entering quality so I've had many of these situations you know many people have heard me said the story to Echo you know with the yamaka and faith and everything else I was invited to a dinner at malago and no one knew what Mar-A-Lago was 20 some odd years ago and it was Christmas time and my wife and I are driving up and I never take off my hammock it was just something I've always kept on and for some reason we had a discussion is am I going to feel uncomfortable am I going to make the people uncomfortable and somehow I capitulate it and as I'm walking I take my yamako if I put it in my pocket and I walk inside and Ashley who's hosting me I was not having dinner I was just going for dessert we had just closed the logic walks up he goes Ralph where's your keeper I told all my friends as young guys very successful in a walk-in with a key pie you put it on and you never take it off and I was like totally embarrassed but it was a great lesson and I truly believe that the whole reason that happened is so I should always know that never to compromise but you talk about faith religion you talk about other things around three years ago I bought a new company had a major insurance company that was my partner and I had them 200 new employees and every Friday I send out to the firm in email just recapping about the week we started it mainly before Cove and it became a tradition and I end the email by saying and we're launch company and we're we've you know many Jews many non-jews and I always say to Travis have a good weekend I've been questioned about it how do you say it and I it was justified it for some reason this weekend that I was now welcoming a bunch of new people into the firm and new CEO I felt maybe I should drop the kajabas so we debated it back and forth we discussed it internally and actually called some of my young colleagues they said Ralph that's so not like you what happened all of a sudden I said you know things change and I'm like you know so you'll admit we go through these struggles constantly so finally I decide after three different reiterations of this letter we're going to drop the guitars we're just going to say have a nice weekend 30 minutes later the email goes out I'm reading the email and it says have a good Shabbos have a good weekend I call my assistant I said Megan what happened to the email she goes well she goes oh you left that ahead of good job but should I put it back in this is a non-jewish assistant I want to tell you I said Megan I must tell you that was not your hand that was God's hand that was there and I actually was from I couldn't talk about the story because I was actually embarrassed that I actually went through this thing but if we're not honest with each other and we don't really admit to each other that we go through these times and periods where we question are we doing the right thing are we being too this and to that we wouldn't get into a better place and I think when you know when we go through these experiences and we see Yad Hashem God's hand guide us it really truly demonstrates to us and I want to tell you something I'm not unique we all have and see God's hand you have to look for it and see it it's there that is another thing that I tell all the time I just also have the knowledge we have Rabbi gershenfeld listening to me and I must tell you abigressionfeld has made this world a better world right I host I host so many of his and not to embarrass him but I remember there was one there was one student that was buying me for Shabbos he was getting married and she said to me I'm really excited I'm just having some issues with my parents I said really what are the issues my mother doesn't want me to wear a white hat she doesn't want me a white a black hat doesn't want to wear a white kitto she said but you know I discussed with my Rabbi and he said to me it's your mother's wedding it's the same way your wedding you're not wearing a black hat you're not wearing a white Kettle and you're getting married anyway the same way sorry you have just demonstrated to the world that you a person can grow in his Judaism and not create controversy between family members and parents and that is something that I see every day and I just want to thank you publicly for that [Applause] let's all get more time than me all right it's okay I'll just the hour is coming late and I want to make sure that um we're going to make sure we get to the second program but what I want to before I ask my last question I want to just invite the students to really um take their time when you see them later on they love it that's why they're here don't feel embarrassed to come up and ask questions and and students that are out there that are that are thinking of things that you can access these two giants please do so let me ask my final question and these are quite where they're going through really are struggles that a lot of people go through which is great and I'll start with Saul and then maybe I'll you'll immediately hand over to Ralph as the final question for this session and please feel free to to ask them later on you know one of the things that I think is one of our great qualities as the Jewish people is our comfortability and struggle Spain is a place that tortured us a softer people would have been dissolved and what we have going for us amongst the many things that God has given us is the ability to struggle you mentioned your grandparents your parents the Holocaust Survivors a heroic generation that came to America and wasn't scared of struggle it was part of their life and they saw it as as something of Valor as we grow and as our people continue on to try to bring values to the world it's a struggle it's a struggle to balance faith and business to struggle to bring values to a world that feels sometimes valueless share with us a little bit some struggles maybe as you brought your as you were growing or maybe even in in your current capacity where you like Ralph mentioned you struggled a little bit and ultimately triumphed but share with us a little bit of that struggle as as I said before I'm in a very uh non-jewish world and I realized early on that I have to pick a path you have to be consistent you can't you can't be one day this way one day I realized a long time ago in in my business that the only way this is going to work is there's no separation of home work it can't you can't be Dr Jekyll Miss died you can't be two different people you have to have consistency and who you are is who you are and and you have to make sure you're living because because of the fact of the struggles and people look to you know we answer to a higher authority you know we are the chosen people anybody sitting in this room has to understand who we really are we in Hebrew it's called Amanda we are the chosen people and people look to us and everybody says well you know I might wear my arm because they all know you're Jewish you know they all know who you are and you have to act accordingly and instead of us trying to and I I learned this you know my father the hawakai survivors they rebuild but they rebuilt in the right way they they rebuilt the same values you know I I once had a situation and and in in in a courtroom with a with a court case in Poland about a school and the judge said to me how could you be so passionate about these issues so many years later you never I said because we have to connect to the Past in order to have a future and so the values that I learned is stop worrying about what everybody's gonna think of you you have to be consistent you have to be honest you know Ralph was telling the story about about Shabbat I'll tell you a great story and then I'll hand back over to Ralph my first year I may have told you it's my first year that I got an NFL license it was a big deal for me that was a game changer in my company getting to NFL which is like getting the I don't know what it's like the NFL it's like getting the NFL so I I go to my I go to my first Super Bowl I go to my first Super Bowl never forget it was in Arizona okay and they tell me the big event that the NFL hosts for all of their licensees it's almost like a mandatory event it's the Shabbos afternoon brunch so I Google on the map and it's about two miles from my hotel two miles in my hotel so I asked Charlotte I went to show in the morning and I came back and I made kiddish and I think my wife was there and I said you know what I'm gonna out of respect it was my first year I really didn't know but the job is but I tell her to go dressed I'm dressed like a mensch and I start walking two miles to this place with his brunches and on the way I see guys that's all you want to lift I said you know it's my Shabbat I can't I can't take I can't get into the car and I'm walking and I'm schmitting it's pretty hot in Arizona and I get there and the first thing I do when I walked in the bus got out there because maybe 10 people passed me and they saw that I'm walking and the commissioner comes running over to me who subsequently became my really really close friend and he says to me Saul is it true that you really walk two miles to come here I said yes it is true I said but Roger that's not the bad part the bad part is I gotta walk two miles back so he says to me wow it's really that's really and he was very impressed and I forgot about it the next year it's it's a month it's two months before the Super Bowl my secretary tells me the commission is secretary called and wanted to know which hotel are you staying in for the weekend because the NFL gives you a list of hotels that you could pick they give you two or three hotels so I she says that oh I said sure when it means they're they're they're hosting me the secretary called me back and told me the commissioner said to call you and tell you that from now on whichever Hotel you're staying in for Shabbat that's where we're going to host the brunch and for the last and for the last and for the last 20 years wherever I stay they take in advance the host of Bronx so my message is simple if you're honest if you're consistent if you're real if you they see that you really mean it then you don't have to bend to them they're going to respect you they're going to respect you and bend for you they're going to see that you're really a serious person you mean it you're not doing it just just out of out of whatever whatever reason but you're consistent in the way you act in your business that's going to make a tremendous impact relationship man it's going to pave the way for so many others now we we have so many people that call me it says which I'll tell we want to stay there too because we also have to go to the brunch so the message is very simple yes we have trials and tribulations in the beginning it's tough I had people used to walk in they have no idea they they never met a guy when they happened I used to go out to certain colleges and certain campuses we get College licenses they have no idea but stay true stay the course and eventually if you do it the right way with God's help everybody's going to come around and see the real value and the beauty of the Jewish religion okay Ralph final words Ralph final words so I think that in talking to Young students who are all have a bright future ahead of you I think you have tremendous opportunity to show the world all the positive things about the Jewish people and this chat was out there's always going to be some negative story that people are going to try to hop on and say but you need to make a real a real impression and whatever it is we go to many conferences and I tell my people all the time whether you're Jewish you're not Jewish you get in an elevator make sure you let the people out the women out first just be polite because whether you're wearing a yamaka or you're not whatever it is you we're New York is so immediately we get we get tagged in New Yorkers and there's so many things that you can do to show the positive thing about a person and ultimately I recently a banker that I'm very close to for 30 years recently retired from the bank and I I took him on a trip to Israel and it was most unbelievable trip and we stopped at a place to have to have some lunch and there were two soldiers there and I said Jim I want to take a picture with you with the two soldiers so the Two Soldiers got up we take a picture and then I said to the I said Jim I'm going to show you something I'm gonna I'm gonna treat these soldiers to lunch and he was like wow so I go to the cashier and I say to them those two soldiers that just took the picture with me and my friend I'd like to take care of their lunch and I saw the guy was a little bit you know uncomfortable so I said is there any issue he says yeah you see that I have a couple they paid for lunch and ready for them so I I think he was trying to decide if he should charge twice or not that was that was his dilemma my friend Jim O'Donovan he just turned 80 years old and he was blown away he said I've never seen his dad was a fireman his uncles or a policeman last week he sends me a text and it was not on my intentions to say but I'm going to read it because I want to show you the message that everyone can really can really really demonstrate what we can do and he writes me a text last week and he says to me as follows and he says big day today this was 25th when Israel celebrated 75 years 75 years for Israel although I was only six living in Brighton Beach I can vaguely remember a lot of happy people and what my friends telling me what happened seeing what has happened over those years on our recent trip shows the resiliency and the fortitude of the people of Israel Jim so here is a situation where an Irish Catholic very close friend of mine I made an emphasis of taking him to Israel and showing him everything about the Jewish people and we can all do it at work you don't realize how a colleague of yours at work is suffering from something you can you can literally put a good word I will tell you that I was talking about struggles and a dilemma somehow I think I got the worst driver in Spain yesterday he never was in Madrid was supposed to take 30 minutes to 45 minutes and I got frustrated I said they're sending me a driver you know I knew they weren't being cheap and then he sends me a text I see you're upset would you like another drive and I said to Moses I said I do not want to make a fill Hashem and I will not have another driver I said don't worry just figure out your ways I know it's your first time he dropped us off over here it also took an extra 30 minutes and I gave him a tip he goes why are you tipping me I didn't do such a good job I said you did a great job and he was talking about it in the car he heard us talking about you know Spain and what was going on and about the Jewish people and he's 20. he was 20 years old he's a student he's actually he heard us talking heard me talking numbers on the phone and he was saying you know maybe I shouldn't go to law school maybe I should come you know to New York but the truth of the matter is it was very easy for me to just say you know what get me another driver because this but we you got to always look I said here he sees hundreds of Jewish people coming together he is hopefully going to remember that we did the right thing so and it's a challenge trust me it's not my personality to be so easy going on a driver but at the end of the day we always have to find those places and again I can't thank everyone enough I just want to say one thing I'm a busy person but any there are many students that have come over to me here that have recognized me been to my office been to my house please feel free to reach out because I want to say one thing as much as you think I'm doing for you you're doing for me my family has become a better family from hosting students by hosting people that have grown so many of you have made the choices that are the hardest things in the world and I'll just end by saying this God has put me in a place he's put everyone in a place no matter where you are in your in your career you can make a difference so as one large Jewish Family let's really make the world a better place thank you so much okay so as we conclude as we conclude I want to first begin by thanking the both of you for being here and inviting the students to spend time with them maybe if I can just sort of tie both the ministry speech and what you've heard a minute ago the minister ended with an incredible charge she said that inside every one of you is a diamond and etched in that diamond is the word eternity and if we actually believe that inside each and every one of us is an incredibly powerful soul and you take the words that you're hearing in front of you right here today consistency being proud being you and bringing that Pride to the world there's no telling who you can be and what you can do thank you so much for being here and thank you both foreign