Shmorg 7: Fiveish in Flight

[Music] they only met you wait up where you guys going we're going to visit five ish Wow can I come too sure of course you can just follow us great thanks [Applause] [Music] come to the world of five say hello mean everyone come and learn with five torn off so come to the world of five plenty of room for everyone joining your [Music] where we're learning [Music] we're the learning [Music] oh my that must be my friends coming to visit his could I cleaned up my house this morning I'm coming why hello come on in [Music] why hello AVI hello yoni and hello mehndi what honor owes me this visit well um we had something we need to talk to you yeah we know now don't worry Wella a dr. Allen is not here at the moment but I can give you his phone number if you want no.5 it's not that kind of problem oh good gosh so what can I help you boys with well you see five-ish we're almost in Mississippi already and you know how things are here it's really hard to get into the yeshiva oh we want to go too but we're really nervous and scared we won't be accepted and then and then our kids will get into my sister either calm down down down oh all of you are great you Shiva boys who will get into every and any Achieva in the world as long as you don't tell them you're on my story but let me tell you a story of a time long long ago when my friends and I were really scared and we met some people who didn't really accept me I was sitting in a taxicab on the way to JFK Airport [Music] yeah hi Misha you enjoy the Holy Land oh wait wait you forgot your change change what do you mean changed I need a change I mean everybody could use a little bit of Jays and not saying that but I mean how much good boy now packing the bags or looking at the bags all time you didn't even blink for a second you just blinked right now yeah longnecks I can't wait to go through the Khadijah - Lama the Kegel navarre the ELA to get the Vulgate Nitschke immediately the gallery distinction any store I want to confirm my cushion me another regular cushion reveal not that special to the extra special very extremely crucial Emile you know like the vegetarian but made out the vegetables this man Habibi look at me do I look like a stewardess I'm security I'm gonna ask you a few questions because seven we have given you something that looks like a bomb but really isn't people all someone we have given you something that does look like a bomb but really is a bomb all someone may have given you something that looks like a bomb and is a bomb and can explode a chef what is this week's parashah well it's a little complicated to see this week they're going to be I am too so there is no partial and they didn't tell us this watch the violin bass tension ooh-ooh-ooh Shiva Jerusha Shiva's mmm I think you should go do that and getting a totem eight they're gonna make on you are kita for you hey Jeff Miller checking in for the flight to year-ish a lion I'm always on a mission line back I like I don't need to check in much you know I'm saying cuz like I totally travel like really light I just need to check in my guitar a careful it's really fragile I mean like it's emotionally like it's just not ready and by the way slow-mo Carlebach OPM blessed it himself and just there's just like 78 other ones in the world so this is like really special yeah yeah yeah of course Lisa in Baia it's okay if you hear like this please - good bang it's like please sit down oh sure leave me now can be having a talk about my meal yes I gather you need the fasten your seat belt a seat belts I am Alka can you hear me can you hear me now okay it's different Evora yeah yeah no I'm on the plane is everything ok thank you so much for babysitting you have enough formula okay I wish I left you doctor chantix phone number near the fridge you see it okay no no no don't worry about me I'm all ready for the plane is a verbal ask you see these the ones that you got me the new one I have Rebbetzin blobbies physics share from Cemetery I listened to that mom-ish every day if I don't listen to that my whole neshama is good plot an Amish okay I have to go nothing I have to go now okay I'm sorry listen so knows to make it a brought us a new color soccer top oh and I shouldn't forget my shale here that I plucked from rabbit in car to come out to get this sheitel she's gonna wrap that around my finger seven times per aspera schmira where is a gentleman from the cockpit this bothers your pilot speaking this why you'll be very long flight maybe 10 11 12 hours and who knows really if I drink coffee we will get there very fast maybe even less than this time my name is rabbi mordechai Steinberger and i am so excited about this why ladies and gentlemen a few moments where I have the permission from tower control we will be commencing to a taxi so if you have your phone please remove the power from the phone and turning it off otherwise you will be in very big trouble because then we'll make interference with flight instruments like here for example my harmonica [Music] ladies and gentlemen we have reached very high out to look out window you see nothing what you all done chicken no pasta I'm not sure if I'm allowed to eat yes I mean what time zone are we in and one side of the plane is a light and the other is a shack and and how do I dive in my machine you told me that I should happen with the minion right Shiva holds it's my homage of silesia I don't know well isn't general it'll be on right now over the ocean in between here but we do to fill people make emergency / landing she should be okay and most likely there is enough perhaps for everyone I know I should have done half of a skyline this morning so why is everyone screaming so ominous I can't find might feel a fair plane crashing in my enemy and I don't know what I should say maybe I should do parity refers yes yes that was wonderful let me see you slam that volleyball into the pool again mmm what a fine day it is to be out for a swim by the shore the beautiful being Laszlo really cools off the toes after a tough day of ruling people doesn't it Frank oh yes yes your highness Willie it was a tough day indeed but you were amazing as usual yes the teacher wants to know if his eyelids would like the jiggle or the beach before dinner yes that sounds good your eyes yes I'm sorry Frank oh I'll have some vegetables too and make sure there is plenty to eat I am famished in fact so famished am i that I can even eat you yes we will good joke indeed where are the splashes where are my royal splashes Franco get my splashes now I am in need of a good splashing special the King needs to be flushed for some refreshment sire Oh get on with it you know the answer to that already you know these already you must begin with it and go all the way to the nose [Laughter] what is that giant bird heading straight for my beautiful waters it's a dreadful sound musicians play a dreadful song for this dreadful sight I must watch this Buckhorn never mind the snacks ah I think I see people they're coming out of the belly of the bird on booths general Wallace he called Schaffer prepare for war everybody remain calm everybody stay calm stay calm stay cool be collective okay now let's all get on these lifeboats I can swim like that Gupta that fish I can spit come on get ready dimensional town de Buono very very easy coming through coming through I need to go back oh okay we always must be totally happy repeat after me [Music] da-da-da-da-da [Music] when you don't have shot the simcha when you get a shot this it covers a joke by specific ah listen contem in wet the ketchups chords with some cobwebs you feeling I died I died I didn't die die I need are mine someone tells you no listen ko when you stub your toes and when you're out of dope it's in cuff this SIM card to me when your car gets stuck this and club behind the garbage truck when you have my ID I need are my eyes until I die the ice is designed to the died I needed arm I didn't I didn't die die le da prize in the dies in the died [Music] jellybeans a black Pacific abyss akuto it when it starts and prepare for war the french british colony of bing la soupe does not take that axe lying down in fact we never lie down not even when our mothers tell us to musicians play some war music this is getting exciting if you attack also we will squeeze you like a little box army is the best at aiming together go back on your Chinese bird and go fly away shoo shoo okay everyone that we need to prepare for more , I just gave a to my tell me the man out to do this for the vibra you're going to DAP slime am a Cody you still have those forks and knives from the plane yeah sure may have them put this on supposed to give to my kids isn't my present for them give all that we can use it anyways you'll do them or come apart and five is I'm going to take you over there and give me to that mr. Prez well huh are you sure I'm not really comfortable with that yo should we like putting chipper Devourer in a box man doesn't it doesn't it say that somewhere mr. King sir let me explain with a muscle if you'll permit me there was once a king who lived know one thing you are talking about we don't know two things you are trying to say but we need to see your hands in the air as a sign total peace man that's where we're all about man I live peace dude there that's quite enough you are now my guest Sen tonight we will all die together in the royal banquet hall but five-ish who are those people and why do they keep talking about the British and the French and will the banquet be kosher hold on calm down just wait a minute hey you'll find out soon enough you see the people of Bing wazoo lived on a completely isolated island they used to be a colony of the British and the French but never got the memo notifying them that the monarchies have ended they are too afraid to leave their Island because their island is too close to LA flew d'lai up and cake or in English the end of the pancake you see they believe the world is still flat yes well um so as I was saying we were welcomed into the royal banquet hall for a feast fit for a governor [Music] welcome welcome musicians play something strange in honor of our strange guests [Music] welcome to our Island a very happy place [Music] say a stop country will fall off into space no one seemed to find us is 49 indeed is Connie that's perfect for you welcome to ping Gazoo [Applause] we get AC will sing a song to you and here in bingler zoo we are just happy that you came to pasty [Music] [Applause] there's nothing what to tell you about what your ending love cuz our country's anthem is clear and earring Benghazi this we love is here in Thailand because [Applause] general Concha thank you for meeting me out here no no thank you for meeting me I have my suspicions about this grouper Willie yes I think we have to spy on them yes let us start by gathering intelligence from their belongings look at this fine suit coat the label says it's called a wrecker and love It's Made in Singapore why is it full of bumper stickers yes very suspicious we weep and look at this thing imaging with leather straps we should try to open it and see what's inside no it may explode oh it's fuzzy it looks like it's going to blow let's get out of here so what were you trying to tell me about kosher you only eat what well it needs to have a scooter it has a blessing from the air from the roof the roof master conversation of it it's like a Jewish organic man you know what I'm saying permit me to explain with a muscle wait a minute wait a minute let me explain with a song in it the Wheatley clam chowder or give built a fish it's not too difficult to call why crab cakes are octopus instead of soup with matzo balls you know that catfish rabbit stew or Eskimo don't make a Shabbos me rather have challenged potato kugel the tiger piranha or make sure it's only kosher food you eat no matter if it's dairy fish or meat got a half split whom's and chew it's God let the pig save make sure it's only you make sure that it has fins and scales don't eat dolphins save the whale mate or it's only kosher food you falafels poof booth sambusa baba ganoush laughs machine liveth hairy steak on the bone the delicious food here in the zone no matter your preference style taste or appetite there's something that sort [Music] [Applause] and those fine cuisine and if we quiet there's closure for all lines of me so before you swallow any type of food check that it's rough in Italy oh you okay crc Jaso are for sardis make sure it's oh sure could you but that's esophagus kaj nitric akela and star K make sure it's only go sir [Music] who you is [Music] make sure it's only kosher food you [Applause] I will speak to my chefs right now Franco Franco come here guys who are you Shh not so loud they are the one for your own safety but who are you to see my great great grandfather moshe i am named after him oh sure Melanie he was a Jew like you who ran away from Spain in 1492 with Christopher Columbus he was on the only ship that didn't fall off the end of the world and got stuck here silly old Christopher he shouldn't have gone so far so anyway they don't like Jews here I never told anyone my secret and I can't escape they say it's too dangerous but if you ever want to get to Eretz destroyed you must escape quickly why thanks sir but how how did you yeah how did you know Viva Jude well I heard your kosha song and I recognized your eyes from the auction book and I have a torah mate Wow no I'm flattered gifted I think you have a plan yes to the horses we can borrow them for just a bit of it and then just to get out of here let's go [Music] where is he where's Snuffy and where's scruffy and where is my fluffy God Bronco my horses are gone musicians this is not a time for music general consumer some of the entire army we need to find fluffy and scruffy and Snuffy soldiers quick we need to find the horses of the king yes yes musicians play something dramatic yes let's get on the chase okay here's your buggy back wouldn't want you to go hungry well on the chase Mel wouldn't you writes on let's go get please don't hurt us we didn't mean to steal cos pesalam it was because enough is mamas piece man yeah like like take a total chill pill fair did you understand that nope we will take all of you as prisoners and put you in our prison where you will await your sentencing yes musicians play something sad [Music] get in there with the chickens where you belong soon you will be sentenced to life and put in a box and thrown into the sea by a sea monster or maybe worse you will fall off the end of the earth woe unto us what are we going to do yes we must davon no lovin and have you believed that everybody's like them answering our to Feliz this is a total downer let's pray this makes them to feel awe like from our heart so let's not do not despair yes I feel excited father una hisab sovereign right that's the wind I heard that once in shape we need to have been talkin in the hey mister I am sure I am positive that everything will turn out for the best be seated we are here today to rule on ping la Zoop docket number six in the case of the great molecules of England and France this is five ish at all in the charge of espionage in the first degree theft of fluffy in the second degree how do you all plead not guilty not guilty totally innocent ish silly very well then obviously disagree musicians play some guilty music what is that it's another big flying bird this is fascinating Falco where's my popcorn [Music] what type of corn very good rice we sentence the prisoners [Applause] I'm sorry mr. Boris served but that seems a little unfair [Music] well five-ish that sounds really exciting but what does that have to do with getting us into miss IFTA yeah well you need to learn from rabbi starring Berger that you need a good Hazara plan and you need to learn from Chiffre Devorah that you always need to Dobbin and you need to learn from Jeff to always be happy and you need to learn to have B toughen and you can learn from me then when you don't know a good answer well just tell a completely unrelated story do you think Chiffre Devorah is a good Saguna for us to get into miss IFTA [Music] Oh [Music] learning in the special fiber sway thank you