Ordering takeout w/ Tucker Carlson #shorts #comedy #tuckercarlson #impression #parody #satire

All right, Tucker. I'm going to order some takeout. What do you want? You want sushi? Um, well, I certainly have nothing against the Japanese. I think Japan is a wonderful country. Um, I've gone there with my family, taken my children. Okay, but what do you want? I think what we did to them in World War II was unforgivable and heroic. Um, it was absolutely necessary to do that and I condemn it like like totally. So, like I have nothing against the Japanese people like at all. Um, what other options are there? Okay, how about some Chinese? I mean, certainly everybody thinks, "Oh, you love China. Love Ma." I That couldn't be further from the truth, like at all. Um, okay. But do you want Chinese food? I mean, I think China is a great country. It's a beautiful country. Shenzhen, Shanghai. I slept with a Chinese hooker in college, actually. Her name was Lulao. Um, she was wonderful. Really great person, actually. Well, an amazing person. One of the greatest people I know. Still in touch till this day. I don't know where she is, but she's wonderful. Okay, but we're trying to just order takeout. What do you want? I don't really know what that means, actually. What? Like order out, take out? Are we going to be stealing? I I don't believe in stealing. Taking anything. I I would never steal. No, just What does that mean? Okay, we could also get Israeli or Persian food. Israeli restaurant or Persian? You have a preference? Which one would I prefer? See, I don't I don't really like the question. Actually, I don't really want to choose between the two. I certainly love Persian food. I love the Persian people. I love Tadig. I love gourmets. I mean, I love meat. I love kebabs. I don't eat it that much. It hurts my stomach. Gives me a lot of gastrointestinal issues, but I think that's probably big pharma. Is certainly responsible for some of that. In terms of Israeli cuisine, I I just don't want to be involved in it. Oh god. So, I that's my position. I think I'm entitled to speak my mind and I rather resent people who ask me such questions. I I resent the question actually. All right. So, what do you want to eat? I'm actually doing a water fast. Oh, come on.