Parenting is about relationships, not behavior #parenting #shorts

Well, for me, I learned that you stop trying to manage behaviors and instead build relationships. When you come into parenting, when you're a young parent at first, you tend to be very fixated on getting your kids to do certain things that you want them to do. And even in the best case scenario, when that works out, all you're really getting is behavioral compliance. That doesn't mean that they will continue to carry on that behavior when you're not watching. Let alone when they grow up and they're out of your house and they're living on their own. At worst, what it means is if you're really focused on controlling the behavior, there's going to be a clash, there's going to be a power struggle. But instead, what I learned is to stop focusing on behaviors, kind of monitor the behaviors as like an indicator, an outer expression of where your child is at inwardly, but mostly just focus on the connection, building trust, being that safe person that your child will want to come to and take direction from. And when you build that kind of rapport, the good behaviors almost automatically just flow from that without even having to specifically ask for it. In other words, the effective way of parenting, actually, ironically, takes less effort than the ineffective way of parenting.