Project Inspire Convention 2022 Building a Jewish Home

so we titled this talk building a jewish home and one of the things i want to assure you of before we begin today is that we will not finish this class this class will not be finished it's a sheer that needs to be understood it needs to be worked on it needs to be developed and there's no way that i could do the topic any sort of justice in the 45 minutes that we have together today but what i'd like to do is perhaps give a template for how a person should or could approach this incredible subject the concept of what it means to build a jewish home you know there's many things in life that a person spends a lot of time focusing on and building they spend time training they take classes but the concept of building a jewish home which is probably the single most important thing that you will do in your life you get almost no training in and the training that you get is very haphazard it's uh all over the place it's not like you take a course uh and these types of things as claudius roll uh goes through more and more difficult and changing times it becomes more and more important to give a doge and a focus on understanding what it means to build a jewish home and to communicating to your children and to your grandchildren how to build theirs i always talk about this moment that i had a moment of abject terror i was in london at the time my son was walking down the stairs i remember the scene like it was yesterday and as he's walking down the stairs i remember looking at my son he was young at the time was before we moved back to america he might have been five or six years old and i just remember looking at him and i was just filled with such apache a fear a fear in the realizing that i have no idea what the world that he will grow up in looks like if you think about the changes that have happened over the last 10 15 years of our lives i remember when i got married in you know people didn't really have cell phones it was a different world back then right they were just doesn't not that people didn't have them because of a firm reason it didn't really exist you know and and even if some people had them if you go back three years before then you know 1996 nobody which didn't that wasn't a thing you might have had the odd veer that had like a satellite dish you know on his on the roof of his car with like a wired thing in and it cost 25 to make a phone call right i remember my wife's grandfather had one of those you slept a phone booth with you wherever you went but my friends in such a short time the world has forced us to move into places and into directions that we never would have wanted to move into that we never would have planned to move into and one of the funny things about the technological revolution and in truth about every revolution including the industrial revolution is that there is an acceleration as you move through it so if 20 years to now we moved from here to here from now until the next 20 years the distance that we're going to cover is going to be far greater it took us a very long time to develop a motor that could move a car but it took us a very short time in the span of history to move that original model t forward you know into where we are today where you push a button and your car can not only park itself but it can drive you home i don't know if you've driven i've had a chance to drive a uh a self-drive tesla but i borrowed someone's i was thinking to myself what would they think of next what will they what will they think of next then i realized that there was i couldn't find an immediate place to put my coffee down it's amazing you're like this is so advanced i'm going to listen to newsradio 88 true story you cannot get news radio 88 on a on a tesla did you know that you get this is something to do with the radio with the satellites i don't know exactly what it is it interferes with the engine i was like it's so amazing let me listen to news radio oh you can't now because i didn't really need both hands i actually googled while i was driving i was like no this is impossible i can't get armed around the track will they not figure that out either can they not figure out how to get the guy out of a fishbowl when he tells me about traffic on okay so my friends this is something which needs a tremendous amount of of attention what will happen what's going to be with our kids what's going to be with our grandkids how will we build a jewish house in a place where we don't really have there isn't a blueprint for it no one can tell you what to do because and this is the crazy thing experts in reno have no idea what they're talking about you know why because their expertise expired like five minutes ago it's like this by the way in so many different industries that by the time people are taking courses in college the college professor's information is already outdated and they're teaching them about finance or they're teaching them about what doesn't make a difference about what it's outdated the kids wind up knowing more so what do we do and i think that there's something which is very beautiful here which is a blueprint that never changes a chinook expert that never runs out of touch and that is the rabbinislam himself i want to share with you the beautiful words of the meshechur excuse me of the nephew the nephilim famously says about the mishkan. like i make for you like i show you establish a mishkan vestavis koke love the structure of the mishkan the structure of the kalim verhenta so you shall do and it's amazing he brings the kentasu la tourist he brings the words of the gemara and sanhedrin you should build a mishkan like this forever for generations but it is this point that i want to drive home to you because these words i feel like they should be put on a poster and hung in every home and according to what we're saying says that what was what we want to say over here is do not think that i'm asking you to build a mishkan an external mishkan ella tedu you should know taklis the entire importance and function of my desire ritsaini bitabnes is only to hint to you that from this you should see that you should do this at this you should do yourselves as atsmacam you should make yourselves this thing that you and your actions should be haritsuyam kitavnas hamishko and kalav should be like the structure of the mishkan and its galen i can't tell you how many years went by i'd learned this before many of us that yeshiva we learned that for sakai but it took me so long to understand what was really going on over here and maybe i'm presuming maybe i'm presuming but if i am not then i hope that today will be worthwhile to share with you the parties of truma tetsava the parties of vayakel pakude which are almost direct repetitions of the creation of those things says the nephesh they are not we are not a marshal for the bass hamikdash the bass hamiktash is a muscle for us now we have this countdown the countdown to tish above when we're so devastated about the destruction of the basal mikdash when is the day when we mark the destruction of kala israel when is the day when we think to ourselves in the calendar about all the jewish people the boys the girls the men the women who are not here with us who walked off a cliff who bring to my office a girl from russia for who knows where and they say you know i think they might be jewish they say everyone in russia is jewish i was like who says that someone who's dating a non-jewish russian woman that's who says that let's look into her maybe who knows and then they find and what do they find that i know you know my grandmother my great-great-grandmother lit candles i was like everybody's great-great-grandmother candles they didn't have electricity this idea that akersborough was giving us a secret blueprint the blueprint to create a human being to create a jewish person a mishkan a place for god to dwell in this world this secret teaches you how to build a jewish home this secret teaches you what it is that your house needs to look like what it is that your insides need to look like and if you could follow the instructions and the recipes that are being given here you would find an element of perfection you'd find a dira bitarch in him how many of us have sat down and learned true matatsava that way now i want to point something out and again i think you only really understand what i'm about to say if you spent your whole life as a from person well not your whole life well a lot of time informed person like we learn a lesson you know the uh oran is made out of gold on the outside and gold on the inside says the gomorrah what do we learn from here a person a tamil krakum has to be kibari inside like the outside it was like oh that's so cute because like the thing was gold on the outside it goes on it oh so we also have to be that's not again i can't stress this enough what the nefer shachaim is teaching us is that rabbi islam could not care less about the aura and he could not care less about it he was giving you a muscle it's like those people that call me after i give a muscle and it's a beautiful story and i bring home a point and people like wow that's a good point the guy calls me up he says i just i chilled it so i have to tell you it wasn't on monday it was on tuesday who cares now if you don't take the nefer shachaim seriously you think i'm a clayfair because i'm chucking a lot of stuff seemingly i'm not chucking it in the garbage the zoya tells us that it's not just this parsha which is this way it was in a certain element in a certain way it's all of the torah that is this way is a levush is a clothing the stories that i sparkle was recounting above rama veenu we don't care about the history of it what we're trying to pull out is what's under the lavish but if i just gave you the soul without the clothing if i talk to you about hatred between brothers without telling you that a brother without realizing could sell his own brother could hate or misunderstand his own brother enough to the point where he wants to kill him and the brothers have a discussion if we should kill him or sell him as a slave that levush helps you understand that human beings can be like this that you and me we can be like this we could sell someone down the river someone who's our own brother that there could come a person who when he's asked by the american president about the refugees coming from europe he could tell them keep the doors closed that story which we we raised korea on it happened already the torah told us it would happen already we just didn't pay enough attention and we got caught up in the muscle and didn't realize that we are the nimsha so i want to share with you because i don't think and this is what i meant when i said when i started that we'll ever finish this class because the myriad lessons and the nuance and detail who put into creating this magnificent blueprint to build or even a person and a house there are too many but i just want to share with you the process and the perhaps from the process you'll be able to try and start this your own selves in learning and understanding the sugya of a mishkan being the muscle for a jewish home you know ghazal tell us if this idea of means that this is what you're supposed to do it helps us understand a very puzzling concept you know the the torah tells us that maestro abenu when it came time to build the menira he couldn't understand how to do it this was the creation of the menorah mikshazov was banged out of gold you know the uh the year the thigh the bottom had pickled to the tops the flowers make sure he was banged out was knocked out wasn't cut kimare hashem like the sight that i could borrow who the vision that hashem had given moisha keno says that's how he built the monero rashi says what does it mean every time you see the word ze in the torah that's what it means hashem is saying like this like we find you know okay same thing by the way by kris yamsov when they crossed over and crossed through the ocean what happened they said there cainly van veyo they were able to look at god and say that's him right there i see him even the shivra even the child my friends the question i have is what was so difficult for moisha bader to understand about the menura now it's a little complicated granted i get it i get it i understand but if hashem wanted to show maishrabenu what the menorah was why didn't he show him an actual picture of the manure why did he need to show him tell us this image in this way of fire et cetera et cetera but i think there's something here which is very very beautiful when you really touch it kane asa es haminoira now he saw it right now he knows what it is says the one that made it kane that's how he made it what does that mean um it was made by itself my friends there's two obvious questions question number one is what does motion not understand i mean there are more complicated things in torah than than the than the minority i mean let's be honest myself emotions like yeah god no problem the monarchy is like yeah could you just draw me a diagram i'm not right it's that it's strange the second thing is at the end moisture didn't even build the monero they threw it into the fire and out comes the menorah what does that mean so then why show him the menorah if he's gonna then anyway have to throw it in the fire and ever got a sparkle make it hashem should have told him rocky you deal with the rest i'll take care of this and the answer my friend and i mean there's many answers to this question but the answer my friends is so beautiful what moisha could not understand was not how to build the mineral because the manure was just a mushroom well maisha mainu couldn't understand this he understood very good what the mineral was but remember what was the function of the manure the purpose of the mineral was to bring light that was its purpose but we have a beautiful gemara where the gemara says one second what is the purpose of the menorah it's to bring light we already know that the rabbani islam doesn't need any light in the vasa mikdash where do we know that from the gemara menaches describes the windows in the basaramiktas that how were they built they were built with wide on the uh on the inside and narrow on the outside illustrating that it wasn't gathering light and bringing it in but rather it was disseminating light from within i am the light of the world says hashem i don't need the light from outside so hashem doesn't need the light of the menorah either what does the light of the menorah represent it represents the light of the jewish home the light of a jewish person the order that a person spreads in this world the oral that we can eventually be for the entire world says if i'm supposed to teach claudius or how to build a jewish home there's many things i can i can explain to them but you want me to teach people how to bring out their or their light their tufted you want me to teach it to them i don't know how why says moshe to the rabbit island i was born with light why because when he was born nismalec the whole house was full with light so my sherman says i don't know how to explain it to someone how can i teach a jew how to build develop their insights into the thing that they're going to bring to the world their topic i was born this way i don't know how to do that my friends i want to share with you many years ago when i was living in england so they asked me if i could give a public speaking course and i told them i can't i don't know how to do that and they asked me why and i said because i never took a public speaking class so if i had learned public speaking i could tell you what they taught me i understand what it is and what it isn't but if i never took a class so i'm just doing what i do and and if that works then fine but i don't know how to explain what am i going to tell someone do me be me what should i say and in the end they forced me to do the class and i had to sit down and analyze i had to learn public speaking for the first time it was weird but in truth there's no way to teach it unless you learn it from the basement maishura bainu says i don't know how to teach them this i was born with it who says let me teach you how to teach them he brings them a vision and when i spoke who was trying to communicate to them is if you give a person a vision if you give a person a goal a shifa a direction you show them where they could go where they could be what they could look like sometimes a person has not tasted that for themselves at all and even if it's impossible says hashem show them something that they can't achieve that in their own minds they could never become and then teach them that even though they cannot build this impossible vision the only thing that's going to be required of them is to throw it in fire it's to passionately work on it and in the rabbinish himself will take the vision the dream the you have for yourself for your family and he'll build it as if magically it will come it will appear show the people that this is how growth works or shifa that you should it's on that you can't imagine how you'd ever achieve it ever accomplish it and the only way you believe it happened is after it actually happens my friends this lotion everything that i've showed you on the mountain motion you don't know how to teach moshe you don't know how to relate let me help you it's not that complicated my friends one of the most important things we can give in our children to our children and in our homes is an imagine imagination of where a child can actually reach and i want to communicate the power of what a vision a sight a moment can actually mean there was a certain rabbi or golinski who noticed a very strange behavior from one of the people who come to his shul the guy didn't come that often but when he came he noticed he never stayed for the whole darving he would always leave early every time he'd see him folding his talos walking out and a rabbi you know you want to be nice but sometimes it's like it gets annoying like you want come on can't stay for the whole davening you know i always had this fight you know people you know could we do could we do cole rum you know on travis how much minute how many minutes did you save it's two like come on you have this fight but at the end of the day you have to understand the people you got to get where they're coming from you have to accept where they are and for them this amount of time in shul you know it's a it's a difficult thing i say there's two places where we use this expression you know when did you get out is an expression that people use for people in prison and people on yom no room all right don't you you're different people oh god you where'd you go yeah when did you guys get out so he thinks of a very clever way what's he going to do to make this guy stay for the whole of daveny he decides that the next yom tov he's going to invite him to his house then he'll have to come he'll have to stay at the end he doesn't know he's not going to tell him where he lives the guy says i'm going to come rabbit doesn't tell him where he lives i imagine he texted him he said where's your address ignored it rabbi is feeling very clever i must i can't tell you the amount of times i feel so clever like you solved the problem and you realize the problem got so much worse you're like i'm such a bk i'm such an idiot anyway the day comes it's yamtiv before davening is over he turns around the guy's not there he doesn't know where to go and he finishes finally finishes davening he walks outside who's standing there in the sun with his towels folded he must have been out there for an hour already skye mainly you want to leave to go home fine you left to sit outside he doesn't want to say anything takes him home they start together they have a beautiful yumpta souda pours a couple couple of cups of wine ketovle he turns him and he says dude what's the what's the deal with the zitsplace come on you can't stay till the end of the tifila you can't what's the big deal what's going on and the man he looks down and the rabbi thinks he's embarrassed him but when he looks up again the rabbi realizes he's not embarrassed but there's something else here he says i don't usually like to talk about it because you asked me i'm having such a nice time he says i'll tell you i was in the war in the barracks and there was one man in our entire barracks that never managed they never managed to defeat they never managed to break they never managed to crumble he walked around with his emunah he walked around with his phyllis he walked around with everything intact and we all looked to him and we were inspired by him by how connected he was without goddess baruch who his faith gave us faith i always thought that maybe that's an alternate shot and the koive hashem sometimes a person has starke you know and he turns to his friend who's going through a rough time he's like no you got to believe it's going to be fine they should fear develop hashem runs the world amazing yay you know and then when you're having a bad time who gives you that schmooze he does everyone relies on the other person zamuna you know to save them the guy comes in he tells everyone i don't know i you know don't ask me how i've managed to procure a couple of matas we're going to have a seder here in the barracks he gets everyone together they do the whole seder they finally finish the end of the seder is done the people feel so uplifted they feel like they can survive anything they have in their house it wasn't made up yet but to some other dude they feel it they've got it and right at that moment the door opens a nazi soldier walks in and he says who's responsible for this everyone runs to the barracks to the uh to the to the bunkers to their beds the nazi grabs the first guy and he says did you do it and the man doesn't answer who's responsible no answer finally he says if the person responsible does not let themselves be known who they are i'm going to kill everybody this altaid this beautiful jew stands up walks forward he says please don't hurt anybody it was me it was my fault he pulls out his gun from his holster puts it to his temple he's about to shoot him and he says actually i'm going to wait i'm going to wait till tomorrow tomorrow i'll kill you in front of all of the barracks and let everyone understand what it means to break the nazi rules the man looks at the rabbi and he says and the next morning they took him out on top of a big platform and they gathered all the barracks in front and they told of his terrible crime of the leading of a seder of the procurement of matas and they asked him if he had any last wishes before he lost his life did he want some food no did he want to steak did he he says i don't want anything he says i'd like the chance to address my brothers and sisters all right that's your last wish no problem he steps forward on this impromptu bama and he looks down at his brothers and sisters he says i would love to save you but i can't i would love to feed you but i can't i'd love to make your lives a little bit easier but i can't however there's one thing that i can do i am a cayenne and for the last thing that i do on this earth i would like to give you a bracha to give you birch and he picked up his hands and swaying back and forth he gave us could you imagine shall protect you hashem shines light on you hashem should bring you to a world of shalom of peace away from here and then he says to the rabbi and then they shot him throughout my life i've gone to many different places and done many different things and it was a woman that i met a wonderful woman who also didn't do anything didn't keep anything and she wasn't jewish and i wanted to marry her and i loved her and when i was trying to make the decision to tell her that i wanted to marry her he says all i could hear in my head was i couldn't so i found myself a jewish woman she wasn't religious at all and then i had kids and i decided i'm going to send them to a non-jewish school so that my kids would not know what being a jew means even if they were jewish but when i went to sign the papers all i could hear was yo so i sent them to a jewish school and when i want to eat not kosher you can imagine what i hear throughout my life at all the inflection points when there was something that i needed or wanted to do that was the wrong thing that berghasquan saved me he says that i'm terrified to ever be in a shoe and hear another birkhaus quranim because i don't want to overwrite that memory how holy is a jew that runs out of shul how little do we understand what people are actually going through my friends from one vision a man's entire life the lives of his children the future of his generations was saved from one vision what moisture was supposed to give to the jews was this concept what do you look like what does it look like when you've tried your hardest at something can you see where you want to go did you put in the effort it will happen i want to ask the oil to do something a little bit different i want you to imagine the different kidney hamonoiro each one of the different branches of the manure representing one part of the light that you bring to this world think to yourself if you could remember if you need to close your eyes do so what the moment of greatest connection you have ever felt was like in darwining for some people it will be at the kotel at the question for some people it will be in the delivery room when they're having their first child and their wife is screaming and they're praying with all that they've got that she should be okay that their child should be healthy and safe can you remember what that moment was a student once shared with me at the moment of her greatest connection with hashem of tefila was when she was in a club she wasn't religious she was out somewhere partying and someone that she was with all of a sudden in the middle of this club with the music and the dancing all of a sudden took some drugs and they started choking and she fell into her arms and this child this young friend of hers is dying and she's screaming but no one can hear because of the music and people could you imagine dancing around and she's holding her friend as her friend is dying and she said it was the first time that i prayed to hashem that hashem should hear me that someone should see us that someone should save the life of my friend that connection with aquas baruch sometimes it comes in the most holy of places but sometimes doesn't it come in the least holy of places when a person finds that they're so far from where they want to be market isla market isla i know i could i know i should be better and you said hashem with frustration what's going on save me find me bring me back leave dar biroli eli kim let my child feel that renewed spirit let them not be upset at school at yiddish think of that moment where is that moment for you do you remember it the moment of your greatest connection to hashem through tefila one of the branches of your menorah when was the time when you were most upset at someone and found it in your heart to forgive them one of the most amazing things that a human being can do the gemara learns that the whole world toilets who hangs the whole world on a person who keeps his mouth shut when they had what to say did they have what to say when was the time when you kept your mouth shut when it was the hardest for you to forgive someone remember that moment that machoicas where you rose above it you couldn't even believe that you were managing to do so you had strength that was inhuman it wasn't you that's one of the branches of humanity are you seeing this think of the moment when you were miser nephesh for your children can you think can you see my friends the highlight reel of your spiritual life those visions that version of you in each one of these areas that's your light and that allows you to have a shifa to get back to somewhere that you've already been it's hard work but if you could bring the fire miraculous things happen and miraculous things are created so when a person is building a jewish home there are many ingredients that are required but perhaps if we have a little bit of time left today i would like to ask what is the primary thing we've spent a lot of time talking about one of the caleb so i'd like to share maybe one idea there's a very strange possum and when you learn the the parshiots that deal with the best this way as like one knockout punch to the face after the next about how a jew is supposed to live then these parties are perhaps the most important in the entire torah the postdoc says what does that mean generally let's understand understood to mean the lucha the gomorrah says in babasa and that in the orange you have the luchas monaco but there's a very beautiful and funny rashi the posture in the imposter test bob says put in the orange five took him later impossible if the posix says al harin and you will place the top of the orin which is that big golden block this piece the cover which has on it to prove him place them on top of the orange from on top and into the orange potatoes that i'm going to give to you asks rashi is i don't know why we repeated what we just said two seconds ago two seconds ago i told you put the aedus in the orange five second later what do i tell you cover the orange with the capers and into the orange you should put there he does you told me already it's coming to teach you while the orange is there by itself beloy kapiris without the cover first put the lucha in the orange olaf and after that put on the cover if no one's bothered by this rashi i just i retire so we have another puzzle to tell you before you close the lid put the stuff in what i [Applause] when you see arashi come to life it's the most beautiful thing in the world that the holiest thing in the holiest place is the auron in the quran and what is on the orin adorning the orange is the crew of him and what are the crew of him tell us they are the faces the face of a little boy and the face of a little girl facing one another children children are the holiest thing in yiddish kite the future is the holiest thing in yiddishkai the line goes that the youth make up twenty percent of the community but a hundred percent of the future the holiest thing in the world is our kids efficacy maybe what rashi is saying is before you put before you crown the children on top of the oran you put in the orin a whole torah and a broken torah something which is not tainted by sin by the ego and something which was broken by an abandonment of everything holy and before you even have a musa of what the kids are supposed to look like or turn out to be you decide that in the box that i'm building and in the house that i'm creating there's going to be place for both lujas how many of us how many times have had parents come to me upset about how their kids turned out tell me no no but you should just know like i show them love i make them feel welcome and i want to show them this ratio tell them it's beautiful what you're doing it's a stickle too late you already held up what the kapiris looks like what the golden children look like for this kid to feel with his shivering luchas that he belongs in the quran he knows he's a bidirect and you can never go back and make a first impression even moisture abenu when he sees the marus hatsoivas he says this is not appropriate this has no place this is not holy this should not be here and the buddhism says it's true you're right look at what they were dealing with before we judge them look at what they were going through where this thing that you're calling inappropriate was for the evan matson that they found themselves in to the rabona shalom was the most beautiful thing in the world there's something special about akras baruch he sees us and unlike me looking at my son on the stairs terrified of what's going to come hashem's not afraid hashem is not worried because come what may he's going to love them anyway perhaps then the greatest thing in the world that was necessary to be able to build a mishkan which was handed over to bitsale was that karishbaru who gave him a heart that was full of full of wisdom now we have that appellation somewhere else this wisdom of the heart something that all of us parents desperately need right we get told about this wise heart where do we learn about the wise heart we learn about it from when allah says if he gets to choose money fame power what does he want all the great things that people want in this world what do you want i want to be wise and how has it expressed this wise heart in the passage what does hashem call a wise heart and i will give you lev maya you don't have to be a genius you don't even have to be so smart you just have to be capable to actually hear what the other person is going through what your wife what your children are dealing with if your crew of him are there before the chivalry lucas get in you are not listening because they are already in the evid and you're trying to figure out how do i make you what i want you to be not how do i make you what you should be what you could be lay shoimea that was the heart that built the mishkan i hope and i pray that these things which for so many years lay under the carpet in our communities are now coming out of the most magnificent most beautiful of ways you know i did not think today when i was coming here that i was going to be addressing this crowd i got mixed up i thought i was coming to the body and soul retreat of project inspire i thought it was going to be a nice mix of very religious people people not so religious and i changed what i wanted to say when i found that out but sitting here in a room with a bunch of people who came to an organization whose mission statement is to be able to listen to hear to understand and to love only have one question why is it harder why is it harder for us to love our children who maybe aren't as whatever as we would wish as we love a person who's not religious at all that you meet at a convention like this you show them so much love so much warmth so much acceptance you're not pushing you're not shoving you're not poking because you know that that's not what works we should have less rachmanis on the children that come from us the quran him and now i know most people think well what do you mean it's my kid i want him to be like this it's better for him if he's like that and i always if and how's that working how's that working at least let's be brave enough to try something else and perhaps had we been that way from before i want to tell you one thing i was raised in a very from home obviously i was raised in great yeshivas at a amazing jewish education amazing lakewood crater you know edison bayonne for a year and a half two years edison sweet kaplan lakewood the mir review berkowitz i could not complain i am blessed beyond blessed i was raised at home by two amazing parents unbelievable father who's the rob of a community that gives everything for the killer a mother who's the most unbelievable boy doesn't tell anyone half the time we find out about things that she did years and years later by accident from someone else never from her for years decades i struggled with a connection to davening not that i didn't know how to dive and i didn't want to david just it wasn't one of those things that was easy because i was the rabbi's son because my father was a rabbi in a not religious community where it would be silly hot in the morning a whole month of ello you guys do not understand what that is 45 minutes an hour the firs the mignan as well in our shoe was like 6 30. i was there at 5 30. i'm not i'm like the youngest kid by like 40 years all the kids are playing basketball outside i'm inside time to go time to daven time to go time to dive in it took a long time a lot of times when we're trying to push something a child don't they don't find it attractive it's not exciting it's not something that they want and then the challenge that you face is it's not me it's the one i don't make squeaky noise uh wheel sounds i saw him take off his earphones he's like what in the world is happening sometimes it doesn't work so what are we learning here what we're learning here is that the mahalak to build a child's light is exactly the opposite it's to show a child all the wonderful things that they are capable of that they're excellent at and to ask them to try as hard as they can to get towards that place and more than that not so much my father have to tell you unbelievable mechanic and he learned and he did differently with other kids he adapted because to do something again and again that isn't working it's a definition of insanity you're expecting different results you did the same thing is i'll leave you with one last one you know there's khafter vaphera on each the end of each branch but there's also a kaftar it's the most repetitive passage in the torah do you ever see this passage and there's a kaftar the schneider corner what is it saying what it's telling you is that there was a cuffed or this round circle this button whatever it was where was it where the either if you hold the the the the canaanite were were out in an angle right mcclick was him where it met the central branch there was a cafter the second one where the second two coming met what was there look after the third corner what was there when it met the kaftar what's the lesson in the building of the home and the building of the self there to me the message is that when you see khanim split off from the middle corner it's clear when there's a kaftar that that was meant to be the way it was we bring a decoration we bring something beautiful to illustrate that this kid is not like me and i'm not saying that that means that the kids my friends i'm not saying that this means you should have the kids and be okay with them doing all sorts of crazy things but if all your kids look exactly the same you have succeeded on a family level and failed on a child level kishem shepard suffers if their faces are not the same if they are just so too their wisdom their understanding it's showing us it's different if your children look all the same why did the british lame give you two or three or five or ten cultivating the differences in your children celebrating with a kaftar each one's departure on their own root in their own vague is what the children need to be able to stag and bring their light in the most magnificent way into the jewish home into the jewish community and for clay israel may hashem bless us with the greatest gift of all the golden children of the qaeda shaka dashim barakaris baraku will do his he'll give his bracha and we also have to do ours to be able to ensure that we shove the blue christ and shivre lucha is in before we put that lid on top of the orange thank you