Rabbi Avi Slansky When Prayer Doesn’t Project Inspire Convention 2023

good morning from what I'm told it was very late night last night so I appreciate even more people wanting to sit through another speech some words of I'm sure we've heard a lot this past weekend and actually we're just talking to uh Gabriel Freeman ravgov he asked me what I'm talking about and he mentioned at certain points he had touched upon Etc so hopefully we'll get there so it's free long is a timely topic timely as in always Fila is always but in truth the week before Purim philom is actually special because when we ask what is param of course the response everyone says is twilo no that's when you asked yesterday when it comes to Purim our responses range from simcha it's Adar tuise it's all about giving passing inspiration you have to give you have to give perhaps one will say Purim is about as you read through the megillah there's no mention of hashem's name and it's all hidden the Esther of underneath he has their ass there how Hashem is hidden as the going explains is Hashem that he's always there whether we see you or not but yet if anyone looks and tries to really understand what Purim is we'll come to the realization says the zoyakala please so we all heard all the sluck organizations are going to tell us it means very important and it is but the desire status but not just on porn the mission of romp and Julia rambam writes then why do we have Tinus Esther tiny zester is different than all other vastly says and he writes tennis Esther is to Liz's car to remember call Ish I shouldn't hear us listens to our prayers to our village the rambam writes for him in Hanukkah to show Hashem never forgot about us he always hears Arts Felice to start with a beautiful story where Abby ramesha Brown made a sea money reshammed me approximately 10 years ago I need me to see him and he made a grand event Sky the Philadelphia was invited down as he learned in Philly many years prior and anyway Bush around gets up to speak at his own Siam and he says many people here might be wondering why I'm making such a crazy party my transmitter this one you want it okay well this awesome great wonderful many people might be wondering why are making a Gallo event see Mariah xiaomi so when I heard this question what do you mean could you finish yourself with me you know if you finish Bible you make a crazy party you finish your shall need of course but those of you Sal meeting that were there as he finished you shall be understood the question it would be a random Friday in Yeshiva Yeshiva of Rock Way and he would say guys tonight I'm having you know we used to get together Friday night in Robbie's house and you say tonight I'm making you see them on a cedar of usually I'll see you wow and we come in and as soon as the 10th boy would walk through the front door say okay let's go we're making you see him and we did wrapping me we poor people are coming no no no and he'd pull his out of the Gamora and he'd make you see him he'd say goddess his wife would bring out your channel and every time he made the same joke you know why we're serving your xiaomi kogel why are we celebrate and now comes and he's making this crazy party so he says why am I doing this why do we celebrate down and he says I want to tell you why and he explained that he has a son that unfortunately lost multiple children at a young age I don't remember the exact number two or three children one at Birth one at age two and he said oh the woman in the family got together to Daven he says I don't know how to Daven how have I we should all not know how to Dather like that he says but I made a deal with the Republic and I told Hashem you give me a healthy Nicole and I'll give you your xiaomi a form of trila a bonder of sorts so he says I'm sitting here making a grand party to Proclaim that Hashem listens to Art Felice as is a little rascal running around in this room a healthy child I give Hashem your xiaomi and varus Hashem they're healthy grandchildren so param is all about trilo that Hashem listen starts realize so someone might wonder I think the title is that Fila doesn't work when prayer doesn't work or busy saying how Hashem listens and Fila does work so perhaps let's try to understand that even though yes we know it's really works and yes we know the power of Tila but somehow deep down within all of us there are certain times whether it's daily whether it's weekly that we feel it just doesn't work whether it's versus whether it's for our kids whether it's for health we know what people works but yet somewhere within us we feel a dozen and sometimes we don't even want to say it because we hear three words still works and we hear if it doesn't work it's gonna work in future Generations which is for sure true but the question is how do we answer that thing inside of us that's nagging at us at times and saying but it doesn't work so the first answer which again I believe is famous is the story I'm actually in Waxman about 30 years ago I'm sure everyone knows we'll tell it in short how there's an Israeli soldier who is captured and it was right around this was 94 in Fall it was right around the time of the Oslo court so the shiman Paris Arafat they're all busy making headlines out there making peace they're making peace and Israeli soldier is captured and the whole world literally I can't say I remember this I was a little kid but freeze to the news reports everyone was bothered you're making peace and as an Israeli soldier captured and of course politically was a big problem but then Claudia Israel did what Claudius roll does best his parents you Don Esther got up and said we have to dive in let's put politics aside we have to Daven and they said there were numbers that were unprecedented at the time 30 years ago hundred thousand people coming to the coast of the Daven a woman accepting Shabbos covering their hair giving slako but its filo was the constant and this was day one and day two and Friday night 9 pm was the deadline that damasteris said either you meet our demands or we're going to kill Nashua and Waxman and the entire Coliseum went into that Shabbos accepting Shabbos early extra three lights extra prayers and deep down the news reports say that everyone felt somehow this National Waxman is going to survive maybe it's the IDF that's going to figure out their miraculous escape to save him or whether we're gonna find something but everyone fell deep down it has to be how could we have a hundred thousand people diving how could it be and then the ad the rescue attempt if anyone read about it I think mishpal recently wrote about it's fascinating yeah the soldiers going through the front and the soldiers going through the back and the soldiers coming from on top and they timed it perfectly but then there was an issue there was a food delivery and the news reports say and they missed the moment and the it that's an idiot but it was a steel wall and they didn't calculate it and they missed it and they came in and they're charging towards each other and unfortunately as we know it resulted in two Israeli soldiers that were killed and natural and wax been found dead on the couch and all of Claudia's thrall was wondering how could it be how is it possible Hashem listings there to be lice why do we have poor him because Hashem listens because Hashem listens and that's not one person tens of thousands it's a hundred thousand people and I shouldn't be to listen and I think by now it's famous whether it was his father or roshishiva that spoke into lavallion Olivia attempted to buy also thousands of people and he said yes Hashem listens to artillis but sometimes a father has to say no and I think we know that and it's true and that's one of the answers that sometimes we have to realize that the answer is null and just like we tell our children no and they ask again and we say no and they ask again and we see stop asking daddy you send him always a lot of task you are but the answer is still no it sometimes we have to realize that the answer is no but I like to go one step deeper in trying to understand they yes sometimes the answer is no and yes Purim is all about and it's of critical importance but there's something a bit deeper that I think we could take away from Philo that could hopefully really change us and before we understand how to define the word Fila sometimes it's all in the definition if you don't have a definition of what you're going to do how are you going to do it but how powerful is Fila really before we Define what this entity of tefila is so no one less than Alexa teaches us how powerful teal is this is written by revusive cairoi the PC safe quoted by Legend and reveals that Cairo tells what el-yo and Navi told them yet daily weekly whenever it was probably nightly with Elio and Navi and explained what is the power of trilo remember Legend writes every word of TV law has infinite power but then he explains that sometimes we think it's all about cavano we have to have intent we have to know what everything means and that's true very important or high melajin says the simplest Calvano even before Calvano is to say the words Paul created her words of Philo the unshakenness 120 of the greatest Minds to ever live and what do they put into every word of trilo so Leo and Novi explains what's so powerful is that if you miss one word you can never get it again what do you mean ambush I will doubt I won't have commodity tomorrow what do you mean I will never come again and he uses the word it's something destroyed that can never be fixed for those that know this is a term that is used to describe a monster it's a child unfortunately that is messed up we feel very bad but there's nothing we can do about it and it can't be fixed so Leo and nobody explained that Fela a missed tree law is a mobile U-Haul attacking you can never fix it why because with their Nova wall with their classes putting to every word such infinite power that every word has its own unique power that comes every time you say it and it's missed and can't come again so even though you're wondering okay so I'll miss shot for us I'll get that scene powered by Minho that's true but you just missed an atom bomb you just missed the most infinite power to ever exist because that's what they put into each word of trilo and that's without any kavana the word bar off the word at all each word has such an infinite power then if you miss it it's done it's not coming back that's how powerful trilo is but now what is Fila and the morale asks a very deep question a question that really is part of this nagging thing that's bothering us that feeler doesn't work and ask them around one second God is all mine Hashem is our father he knows what's best for us so why are we daffling why are we asking him for something he has praise him praise Hashem say thank you incredibly important maybe if you have time at that we'll mention how important incredibly important but to ask Hashem for something it's silly it's like you're driving in the car and you're going to visit Bobby and zaidi and your five-year-olds in the back seat yells out Mommy make a right why should we make a right that's the best way to save these house and you're thinking that's ridiculous we're on the highway you make it right it's the wrong direction and he's hit him not such a beautiful idea you know right Darren they're excellent but you know we really want to get to Bobby and zadie so it's not such a good idea says the morale if we ask Hashem for something he knows what's best for us he knows our destination so we're gonna say didn't know I need a off now look at old I need for nothing now but maybe it's gonna destroy you so ask the morale what are we doing it's the most insane thing ever to ask the almighty of bakasho as the hover trying things he wants remarked if I had the ability to be God for a day what would I do everyone start thinking she look crazy is housing crisis and also crisis I'll take care of all the crises in the world foreign if I was Hashem for a day you know what I would do nothing nothing you got that golden ticket you got the magic scepter you can do whatever you want says the whole time I know better than Hashem if he designed the world this way if he decided that that person shouldn't be married and they shouldn't have money and there shouldn't be children and this kid should have issues I know better so ask the morale how do we have the audacity to make a bakashov Hashem we should cut out the whole middle section of Schwann aslay start off with the Praises end off with a brock of her Shalom say thank you in the middle and call it a day and then say you know what God you know best so ask the morale what exactly are we doing when we make a request of Hashem and the morale answers in Reverse similarly explains and I like to read his words it's not really his words he did not write in English but the captured his poetry in the English as well and he says Jewish Fila then is antithetical to the coming conception of Prayer to be long is antithetical to the common conception of Prayer sounds funny to feel it is prayer how's prayer empathetical to prayer and he explains free law is not an outpouring from within that is not Philo te Fela means infusing the heart with truths that come from outside to explain using the terminology of the morale trilo is not rolling our request to Hashem making bakashes Fila is within when we Dive In we're changing ourselves as people when the briskarov was asked missing question how can we make a bakashov Hashem what's the point if he decided you're not worthy what asking again is going to help that kid when he asked you the done time so good God won't get fed up but he said no he knows what's best for us the briskarov responded Yes but feel it changes us as people we become different people when we pray not that we force Hashem to do so he doesn't want to do but when we Dive In and we become different people now we become the people that are worthy of all the things that may be that we want and now it is good for us perhaps to get that laundry list that we're making of Hashem so we're not being crazy people asking God let's make a right turn when the direction is that way every time we Daven what we're doing is we are changing ourselves we're taking the words of these adult bombs of TV law and we're putting them within us and we are becoming different people to infuse every aspect of one's being and existence with God's truth the more we Daven the more we understand the words the more we make bakashays we become different people one little Russian was asked the very famous question are we let it dive in for bakashays and Rosh Hashanah if you look through the TV light there's no mentioned our King but we're missing the point of Rosh Hashanah that we say God give me money Hashem doesn't exist in the whole version of David so everyone discusses are we allowed to ask for our needs Yeshiva stopped and looked at the Target around around him said of course but ask for bread and milk as for bread and milk yo a Brandenburg I won a lot more money than just bread and milk I don't just want the date I want this off it was one on one just the child I wanted to do well and around explained when we realize that God is even giving us the bread and milk who is controlling everything not just the big things but the smallest of details then we're connecting through him and that's how we change as people the more that we ask the more that we try is the more that we change so in reality bakashri's are extremely important perhaps the most important because when we ask about Kasha what are we doing we're making it personal we're not just throwing up a praise God you're amazing sometimes it doesn't mean anything to us my dim sometimes is difficult but when we ask for something when the kid comes to us and says Daddy can I have this it's very important to me that means he's connecting to us so when we turn with a bad call shot in reality that's the greatest form of connection that we could do Friday night someone told me the most amazing story with Ruby helmin from the mirror Chevrolet Mal learning his thirst to give him tremendous listen he was going to the Kaiser one Friday one up Friday night he was in a gap he was going to the goody cell and he had to do a gap and anyone who's ever taking a cab and Israel knows it could potentially be an incredible endeavor especially if you speak the language sometimes you could have wonderful encounters with cab drivers I never only gets in the cab and he says and the guy starts driving in the middle of the trip the cab driver says where are you going where are you going you're dodging Hotel I'm going to the Kalisto the cab driver says llama now listen secular cab driver I got it but come on why am I going to the crystal that's a ridiculous question what do you mean why am I going to the guys I'm going for uh so I mean realizes you know let me try to like you know put something in there so he says I'm going to the castle the ultimate father the cab driver in his perfect Israeli cab driver Fair as he's weaving through traffic answering your text message probably eating something as well turns around you have to go to the clay cell you can do that in your own house and realman set it out moments he said to the cab driver let's go back home and he turns around and he brought it back home he didn't go to the case I didn't do it to make a good story or so that the cab driver feels good about himself which might have been a good reason as well but he said he realized at that moment he said it I'm going to talk to my father but when the cab driver this secular cab driver with the utmost Simplicity turned him and said to Paul to your father you have to go to the guy cell do it in your house he realized yeah that's true if I'm really davening if I'm really connecting Tasha if it's becoming inward yeah I could do to my house why am I going to the castle no it's true of course the crystal is the holiest place in Earth pensvilla is there for sure miss gavel more than anywhere else in the world but sometimes the realization that what am I really doing when i'm davening yes I'm talking to him we have to listen as he talks to us we have to let it settle within us and perhaps the flipside story but it's really the same detail friend of mine we're just inert Israel now without getting too many details this is a a young man on the city he's the same age as me we grew up together we played bowling camp together and the last probably 15 years I haven't been much in touch with him and recently I have a puzzle in Cross River Bank and the first day minha you know lots of new faces and a lot of workers there and I see a face he looks Vaguely Familiar and he comes over to me after diving and he says hello and he tells you he is and then he clicks and I'm like whoa and he starts telling me yeah the yamakai put him for davening wow so nice says yeah I try to put on fill in every day about The Happening okay total no contact with this guy the last 15 years and then he says to me over time can we learn sure let's learn and slowly I start to hear how he's really he's he's unfortunately completely lost completely completely and he went dirty soul he went he is he's feeling a little bit he's feeling a little bit and he's trying he's trying to feel I should say anyway there it is thrall and he's going here and he's going there and last week sends me a message Rabbi I think it's all changed you know sounds very nice so he comes back and I sit down with him and he explains to me the following what happened to him he went to the castle and he's trying to Daven this is what he says to me I'm standing at the castle and I'm trying to Daven it's not going psycho I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying it just it's just not sometimes you know unfortunately sometimes I think I saw for sure it's a little bit of a party and it's in there but he said it's not going it's not going I'm standing there at the wall and I'm trying to tying and trying it's not going and says the heroes behind him a few kids for the Loki Yeshiva talking said they're from reshet these two boys are talking and they mentioned the song Just One Shabbos they mentioned the soul those words go with his brain and he says as he's standing there at the wall he starts humming the tune of just one shots and then from nowhere he starts feeling I miss him I miss him I miss him Hashem I miss him and then he said tells me he loses it as if the plug was plugged in the whole thing turns on and he was able to dive in where that come from how that comes from no one knows but sometimes there is that little spark mirror and when he realized it when he connected a little bit perhaps we shall say when instead of trying to talk to Hashem s are talking to him when he allowed it to go inside of him everything started changing and he said to me those words I missed him with the capital h and I said to him you know when you dive in you see and he says yeah that is interesting means you him is not you at the end of the broth Lord is him in the third person tells you you're right in front of me ghetto in the most treacherous of conditions writes the following that he repeated constantly every time you make a brother you know what you're saying thank you no you know what you're saying you're reminding yourself that Hashem is right in front of me he's not him he's not Veer he's not everywhere he's you he's right there in front of me cell he went from him to you and he realized that indeed Hashem is right there in front of him he was able to open up he was able to connect and in his words I'm trying to be Jose De chuva where tashem maybe this the learning should be as close for that as well but what we see is we have to reorient ourselves with what is Philo when we ask yourself the question isn't working how do I navigate my life with TV law the answer is to allow yourself to connect with Hashem to stop just trying to change his mind he knows what's best for us he'll give it to us when we need it but change ourselves through Dominic become the people that are worthy for whatever which we want but most importantly to connect as we dive in and indeed when we Define the word Adam what is a man that's how deep this goes the tiger modulus and voracious explains why the Autumn linefish he says what's in Adam um a speaking Spirit our ability to talk is that which defines us as human beings and our ability to talk to Hashem most particularly is that which gives us this incredible power so the more that we try to reorient ourselves with what is Fila the yes Fila is the most amazing thing Purim is all about daviding Hashem listen start Speedways he's sometimes allowed to say no but every tequila has its addresses we all know sometimes it's for future Generations what does that do for me very nice for my future Generations what about me the answer is it's Fila is there for you to navigate your life and when we realize this we come to the fascinating realization that fee law is not a one-time in the Endeavor not a three-time a day endeavor it's an all time of day endeavor the half times a mother never doesn't writes the son of the time now it's a very interesting statement because you learn the safer it says that a woman is obligated so if his own wife didn't follow his safer we have a problem so what does it mean that his son rights could be in the latest editions they took it out you got to get the old versions but his son writes that my mother did not doubten so I heard a beautiful suggestion maybe she didn't dive in shafferous maybe the sauna never saw his mother take three steps back and say yes it could very well be of course she doesn't 24 hours a day she doesn't she doesn't when she meet her husband cup of coffee she doesn't that it should give him the strength to learn and when she washed her son's clothing she dabbing that he should build color and Yeshiva law is not this three times a day Endeavor or a one Diamond day Endeavor to take our words and throw them up to God check off the chat box I did it now God give me what I need that's ridiculous but rather TV law is all the time to find ways to connect with Hashem and the truth is this is the reason why Twila is such an incredible kayak and this can explain that why when the doctor in the encology ward was asked what are the stats what are the stats of Rahman Al Islam a diagnosed patient the doctor with all honesty looked up and said with you Jews there are no stats there are no stats you change and you redefine all the rules christophila does work but more importantly it changes us as people I like to close with the words of a relationship hero and then a story about motion Shapiro writes exactly what we're talking about tonight he doesn't write based on his shirim he says what is Triva he's defining a black kosher lace to connect that is the bakosha reshinah there are Icarus that's the AdSense of ourselves is that what is we're trying to connect as soon as we change our definition and we realize we're not rolling up requests we're not even throwing up praises and yes it's true upon might as Hashem gives us incredible power of bakasha and that's a utmost truth but we have to allow that Villa to change us as people's earth when he was running away from the Nazis a Jew came knocking on his door and he said Rebel they're taking me away I want to give you the numbers to my bank account if you ever meet someone from my family there's a lot of money there hold it on hold on to it heinrizer took the numbers put it away he managed to be saved for the Nazis and for years he added these numbers of a Swiss bank account sitting in his bank account and every once in a while he would wonder and think you think that person maybe he survived maybe his children survived maybe his grandchildren survived and her High cries were 20 years later descending on a Bastion and in walks a Jew collecting an ani and he's going and he's collecting and he goes up front to that VES Center of that he cries worth and he asked him for a few whatever he has and as always on high Chrysler that gives him a little bit of money and he says what's your name and he tells him the name and the name rings a bell faces one second one second he fishes in his drawer and he takes out a name and he says does this name mean anything to you he says that name of course that was my father he says really he says yeah and this Ani is thinking this poor person is thinking that is one in a few dollars why are you interrogating me he says he's your father and he says yeah tells the poor person sit down for a moment he sits down and he goes to his safe and he fishes out some numbers and he comes back and he turns to the man and he says you might think you have no money here's numbers to a bank account you're really a very very wealthy man very wealthy man says yeah your father before he gave me these numbers it's a Swiss bank account go I'm sure the money is still there and the Ani takes the numbers and indeed he was really a very wealthy man sometimes we're walking away we might feel very poor we might feel like we have nothing we have to realize hidden within every single one of us is this ability to connect to Hashem as the Gomorrah babakama says many of us have learned the Marvel is Odom I think and the posix says to Define Adam is bottle bees I involve which means the power to beseech to request to Davin law we are people that could dive in we are people that could talk this is within each and every one of us in reality this is what defines us as we're different from animals that we are people that could talk but more importantly we are people that could connect to Hashem foreign and we know that every word is an atom bomb and we know that if we miss it it's missed an eliola Navi taught us don't miss every word every single wording without any Cavanaugh as the most incredible power and we knew sometimes that our father has to say no but we have to realize we have to come to understand that we don't need a Kai cell we sometimes don't even need a minion we don't even need a sitter the words that you could talk to your father or whatever words he wants because those are the words that you will connect to Hashem with and with that will come to the realization as reverse toward us that's the law is indeed antithetical to the common conception of prayer because when we conceive what is prayer our prayers were sitting there in the shoe wall and we're opening a sinner and we're saying words and we're throwing up that sham and perhaps we're making that check that we dominate for the day that is not what Phil is now it's true that's very important and it's true keep on doing that as much as we can in every word with no cavana and any word is incredibly important to the power of Akai still the power of a shul is all incredible but when we want to navigate our lives with Selah we want to be able to take the hardships sometimes and to understand maybe why God is saying no and why it's so difficult we have to allow that Philo to become an inward pursuit to stand by that kalisel perhaps to hunt those words and to start to realize it's not him it's you he's right in front of us to talk to him to connect to him ultimately will be the ones to gain because first of all as the briskarov said we'll become people that are worthy of whatever we want but perhaps most importantly what better thing can there be that it's a walk around life with someone holding our hands that is Hashem right there beside us thank you all for listening