Rabbi Chaim Sampson - 5 Steps to Getting Your Prayers Answered

so with we have here today five steps how to get your prayers on sand we spoke last week about the concept of Prayer in general and I want to just wrap to in the first few minutes just bring into this cheer what we said last time a variation of carp minutes and just start off with this is a very famous and well-known joke that an atheist says to the rabbi he says rap rabbi I'm an atheist I don't believe in God and the rabbi says back to the Atheist I don't believe in God either so the Atheist is what but you're a rabbi so how can you not believe in God I'm an atheist it makes sense but you don't believe the gun dealer doesn't make any sense so great Thank You Carol for 10 letting me know that you can hear and see me that's wonderful anyway so so the rabbi says to the atheist the gun that you don't believe in I don't believe in either meaning if your concept of God of Hashem is that Hashem is a being that's kind of out to get you that he's sort of all that he's a you know father christmas sees in the sky he's if you whatever that concept is that's not a Jewish concept and what we saw is what we stated last week trying to get across is that the Jewish concept of God is an infinite being it doesn't need anything right and it's totally giving Marty Turner what are you gonna give to the Almighty there's nothing you can give to him and therefore our understanding of the Almighty is that he's completely and utterly here for us he's a total giver his giving is unconditional just like a parent a parent a father or a mother loves their children unconditionally that's the love that Hashem has for us and not only that it's infinite right there's no end to his love and to his giving and the problem we dealt with a little bit last week is that it's hard for us to sometimes appreciate that so what we said is that if we have to learn to appreciate the things that we have and that those things come from a sermon and if we really realize that we have hands and eyes and we had ears and not only that but every single day we wake up and Hashem is guiding us and giving us opportunities often it's very easy to focus on what went wrong you know and then we blame God for that but the beautiful that the millions and millions of things that we have every day every single Matan minute the fact that we can breathe you know especially the time like this when some people are having a hard time breathing they should have a refresher Leymah but we should appreciate that we can grieve every breath is priceless and what we said last week is will every human being has eyes and ears worth more than any money every human being is a walking multi-billionaire even if he doesn't have a penny to his name and we should realize that those gifts come from the one above and therefore we should have realized how how incredible the giving is how much a Shem has given to us and realized that when this when we pray we should realize this is the being that's here he's here now he's with us is in the room with us he's present there's a you out there when we pray to her she'll burrow I thought you are the source of a blessing I tell you you're here with me right and you are the mug the master of the universe and infinite being and you have infinite love for us and that's basically in the in a nutshell what we spoke about last week now this week we're going to talk a little bit about five steps to be successful and effective in prayer and really it's what we call a Derrick it's a way it's not just you know it's one-two-three you press these buttons and and you get your coffee out at the other end to be successful in prayer it's that it's a it's a whole way of life it's a way of relating to Hashem that's why to feel a prayer is called avodat should believe it's the service of the heart but all about our relationship with Hashem is called avodah is service all the mitzvahs we does its service but the O voters should believe their service of the heart and the camera says the Talmud says that Hashem wants your heart so this is the the essence of all of our avodah all of our service all of our relationship with Hashem is prayer right because it's the the service of the heart it's your ability to connect with that infinite being to be real with him and that's how we ended last week was that when you're real with a college borough who with a chen he answers your prayers as we as as we sin curve Hashem Hashem is closed the whole Korra earth to all those who call him Nahal I shake whoohoo there ms2 all of those who call out to him in truth Hashem answers those who call out him and truth what is true in truth me it means when you're real with Hashem and you're real with your relationship and you really mean it yeah and you take that relationship seriously then that's when a Shem will answer your prayers that's what the verse is saying so we're gonna try to deal with five steps today of how do you become more real with Hashem how do we do that so the first step the first of this is number one anticipates the good what does that mean it means you should expect Hashem to give you good things now why would that why would you expect it so let's just ask ourselves you see if you understand what we just said that Hashem is an infinite being that loves you krei and he's got all the resources he's omnipotent right he's omniscient right he understands everything remember last week we for those of you heard it we said that if you had a friend who was a multimillionaire he's a genius and he loves you more than anyone he wouldn't leave him alone he could give me some resources give me some wisdom and he loves you understands you helped me understand how me but took a share all the more so is Weiser he's greater he's more giving more loving so don't leave him alone right but if you understand that he has all the resources and he loves you so imagine if you you see if you asked your a person ask their parent for a dime so would you expect your parents to give you the dime of course he's gonna give you the dine of course it's nothing to him he's gonna go he's gonna give you the docking it's nothing I love you and I have the resources so our understanding of incontinence Baraka / Shan is that he take to everything you asked it for to him is like a dime because he owns everything he's given you a lot more so whatever you asked for is within his power right so the first thing is to expect him now let's just understand a little bit deeper why should you expect it now I would just say on the one hand we do that we do it anyway we expect that we're gonna wake up tomorrow morning we expect that we're gonna be able to see that we expect we're gonna be able to work why because we understand Shannon loves us why wouldn't he give it to us so the first thing that we have to understand in our relationship is expect the good and that and that's a choice right because you see if you don't expect the good right and you're walking around saying you know doomsday and everything's gonna be bad and if things gonna go but you know so then that excuse me that means that you're living with an understanding there Shen you know it's not gonna give you good things so that's a freewill choice and if you walk around with that attitude that things are not going to be good then you chose to look at the world that way and the Shen will say you know what if you want to live in that world I'll let you live in that world cuz you chose it I'll let you live with your free world choices which is what we spoke about last week is that a sham lets you live with your free will you choose the first thing is to understand is really appreciate there's a he's easy that he's your father in heaven he wants you to have all the pleasure in the world there's nothing that you're doing fairly just once you have a little goodness so expect the good that's the first thing it's for everything it's gonna be good is that for now that may you may have some questions but you have to wait till we get through the whole of the five steps especially the first few to understand how this works together because there are a few steps to understand right what if it doesn't go your way so that's the first thing the first thing that you have to do is expect the good now how does that work now I'm sure that you people who live in New York have you know as I have done even though I'm a a proud Brit in some ways you know happy to be here but brush em I still have the accent but I'm sure that maybe times that you've driven down in in let's say Manhattan and as you're driving through the streets you get a green light then you go another green light then you get a third green light a four three nine six green light you know it's at a certain point you say this is too good to be true red light meaning what's the analogy here the analogy is Hashem wants to give you everything and I try it you know I've done this time myself that you drive and you drive me to drive and he said I can't believe it red light meaning if you expecting things to be good and if you expecting that this is too good to be true right it's the red light imagine you're going for a very important appointment and you're you're driving and you know that's busy there's no parking spots around there all of a sudden you come to the parking spot and and you know to the place where you're having let's say it's an interview and you see a car pulls out right in front of the building that you've got to go into you go I don't believe it he pulls right back in so this is an analogy for how has Shem relates to us if we're saying I don't believe it can happen I don't you know it just can't be then it won't be but if you believe that you know what the sky's the limit with the Carlsberg you can do it with Hashem he can do anything for you he can help you you can all your dreams he can fulfill you can have you know so then that's the starting point that's the that's a so that's so now the second thing is that what if you don't get it right so then you should be shocked right cuz if you're not shocked it sort of reveals that you weren't really expecting it you should be shocked why should you be shocked because why wouldn't my Father in Heaven who loves me so much give me what I want it's key no he wants to give me everything good so why wouldn't he give me this so you just the point would be is how could that be be shocked be surprised why should that be so there's a little story that you know that goes with this that it's a little story of a technical we'll call him Uncle Ben right and he has a nephew who he loves very dearly and his nephew Johnny ghost University and Uncle Ben says tutor to Johnny listen you know I'm gonna miss you a lot so I want you to write to me once a month just let me know how you're doing so a month goes by and guess what no letter another month goes by no letter so I call burn writes to Johnny and says you know one I you know I I'm sure you're very busy but if you could let me know how you're doing it would mean a lot to me side Uncle Ben no response and now the goldmans by Uncle Ben writes another letter another month like so finally Uncle Ben has an idea he writes dear Johnny I'm really missing you I hoping you're having a wonderful time I'd love to know everything that's going on with you but in addition know I'd like to give you a little gift yeah enclosed in this envelope is a little gift for your spending his fifty dollars he closes the envelope and he doesn't put $50 in lo and behold a week letter dear Uncle Ben it was so nice to hear from you things are going great here's a description of what everything that I've been doing PS you know I think you may have left out the $50 that you said you were going to give me I really appreciate some kind of you could send it again so so what's the point here is it you see sometimes when we don't get what we want right it makes us focus on a shell right you said we don't know so therefore the first thing is that you know be surprised because he should but sometimes what we're saying is just like Uncle Ben you know held something back you held the $50 back to get Ben's attention and hello I'm here so - sometimes Hashem hold things back from us when we're not paying attention that there's a gem in the world that loves us that cares about us that's giving us everything so the first thing is you know expect the good the second thing is if he doesn't give it to you why the world wouldn't you give it to you should be shocked crank and be aware that maybe you know it can be because a Shem what you forgot about a shed okay and therefore you should refocus now the third thing which comes after this is your gonna listen to what Hashem is teaching you we just told a story when what he was teaching you is to be aware of a Shem and that can be you know just for things that are uncomfortable in life you know things that didn't quite go the way that you wanted it could be every time that happens maybe Hashem is just getting my attention and I'm forgetting about that he's there he loves me is with me so that's it but sometimes in life right things are let's we call them problems right we might have problems in life that's that a little bit more serious and just Hashem is is trying to get our attention so this it takes this is a whole area that we need to deal with which means that you know all kinds of people have all kinds of difficulties in life you know and we all hope that they get through them but when we go through those difficult times it may be more than just the fact that Shen is trying to get our attention right husks for sure and God forbid people can be sick people can be all kinds of very complicated and difficult situations so so really see in that kick situation we have to ask ourselves what is a shown teaching us and really the first question that we ask have to ask ourselves is is there anything that I need to improve to to live or right return now I want to just bring up here that often if you know you know people sometimes uncomfortable with this point it's you know why because what the implication of what I'm saying is there's something going wrong in my life or difficulty means that I'm doing something wrong right and that makes people feel very guilty like you mean you're trying to say that it's because I'm a bad person and that's why it's like a punishment and that's very hard for people to to emotionally accept and to deal with so I'd like to just take a little bit of time to dispel the notions which you hear first of all yeah in Judaism we don't believe in guilt now that might be a funny statement because you know we're you never heard of a Santa you ever heard of of Jewish mothers who lay on the guilt so we say you know what if you know Jews get into things big whatever they get into they come top lawyers top doctors we become great at guilt too but the reality is that we don't believe in you now why not so let's understand it see what is guilt guilt is the feeling that I'm bad because I did something wrong could be for other reasons sometimes people god forbid might have had difficult life experience abuse and so forth they can feel I'm bad because something happened to me right they can blame themselves but the essential feeling is that I feel that I'm bad or I'm I did something wrong I'm bad right and Judaism doesn't believe in that because that feeling of guilt is very debilitating it's poisonous it it gives people a feeling of a lethargy of depression it's not healthy right rather when a person does something wrong what should they feel what's what's the appropriate response regret right you should regret your mistakes and remember that when the word for a sin in Judaism is fate fate comes from the term na hoti at a mat mat around 1/2 T means it's like a person who's pulling a bow and arrow and misses the target the hearty estimate errata means to miss the target when person does a sin a fate they missed the target it's not that they're a bad is not the archer is a bad person he may have been lacking strength or concentration or focus but he's not bad when we make a mistake it's not because we're bad right it's because we when we do something wrong excuse it's not because we're bad it's cuz we made a mistake we missed the target right so don't say you're back what you should do is regret your mistakes not yourself right regret them because really that is really what what we're supposed to feel well we're supposed to feel we're good when the shamans were beautiful new human beings I mean make mistakes and it's the same for bringing our children don't say you children you did such a ban you're such a bad boy you're such a bad girl because you did that because if you tell them that they'll grow up thinking every time they do something bad they're bad and then and then they'll have no self-esteem and they'll walk around feeling I'm bad and because I am bad that's my identity then I do bad things because that's what bad people do but if you tell them you're such a good boy you're such a good girl right because and so how can you done such a thing because you're so good then their self-esteem is intact right and they can regret the action and feel good and realize that's not really part of who they are and that's the same for our own relationship with ourselves so we don't say that because we did something wrong with that mistake right but more than that right let me let's take it one step further you see and my teacher rabbi Weinberg used to often asked the following question what would you rather be you'd rather be good to be rich let's bring that question out a lot more would you rather be a multi-millionaire multi billionaire but evil or you can be at Sadek at sudeikis a righteous person right but you just which would you prefer all that money and evil oh you are such a good person you really you really achieved goodness in your life righteousness but you're just kidding guy so I think everybody that I've ever asked this question has always said yes you know I wouldn't mind the money as well if I had to come to a choice I would rather be good so imagine so magic a person came up to you and said you know what and they they they come over to you and they start god forbid but they start using profanity profane language and you say you blankety blank blank blank and they're giving you this you can't believe the word that coming out of this person's mouth and then in the middle of this profanity they take a million dollar cheque they write a cheque to you yeah here you are Carol here's the cheque create a million dollar a million dollars okay and he carried on with the profanities and he walks away you see Carol Drucker a million dollars well you know you put it in your pocket and before he walks away you pull out your business card and you say to him you know what here's here's my business card right anytime you want to say any profanities at me here it is come back and you walk you walk away you do a jig down the street you'd be a millionaire right now imagine if person comes to you and says you start saying you blankety blank blank blank whatever profanities and then they can't they give you an insight into how you can be a better person they slip in the middle how you can be a better person and then they carry on with the profanities so so how do we feel usually not great but rabbi why they point it out that all the more so we should feel because if being good is greater to us than being rich if someone gives us a way we can be a better person we should equally be doing a jig down the street we should be wow this is a now I know I can be better that's worth more than any money right so we have to understand that we don't often respond that way why because we're not focused on reading what our life is truly about that we want to be better people we want to perfect ourselves and if and if we were serious about that we would disregard the profanity it doesn't mean he has to be your best friend okay yeah and you would focus on how to be a better person and the proof of the pudding is that hoo-wee people who are serious about growing insert in the ways they want so we'll even pay someone to give them criticism what's that Olympic medal a medalist will get a trainer to tell him or her what am I doing wrong I'm running this way you should be running that way don't do this don't do that and you pay them good money because when you're serious about the go you want to know what you're doing wrong right so when we're serious about life right and passion wants us to be serious and about life and he wants us to be great right so then we should appreciate if he's picking us at the run as that the Talmud says when things that go wrong in your life the first thing you do is you ask your fresh face for myself you should look into your actions and see is there something that I'm doing wrong don't feel bad about it right you could maybe this is a you know a clue a hint how I can be a better person now there just to clarify that the gamora says look into your actions to see if there's something that corresponds to this usually what that means it means that there's something that you would think is appropriate could be that this is something that Hashem is teaching me now you know it doesn't have to be that because sometimes you might not find it doesn't mean that you're not doing anything wrong but it might be and this is the kind of thing it's good to ask your friends it's good to ask a rabbi do you think that maybe like this could be a lesson that i learning from this right but they're just to clarify to the end of the Gemara Quran says if you don't find something that you think is appropriate then it could be because you're not the Gomorrah says building terror that you're not learning enough meanings not because you did something wrong but Hashem wants you to you're not quite doing enough right and then the camera goes on further to say and if it's not not that it could be what they call you soon shall Arthur it could be that Hashem is giving you a challenging time so that you'll grow through it just like we said last week that Avram Aveeno was someone who had ten tests not because he was bad he those challenges brought having him great true greatness to the extent that he even became the progenitor of the whole of the Jewish people so those tests having to sacrifice his son or least thinking it was going to burying his wife thing with long difficulty famine in the land was so that would break out of him greatness which he would not otherwise have achieved so it doesn't necessarily mean for sure that he did something wrong right but the Talmud says that's the first place to look and we shouldn't be shy about it because really the reality is that we're in good company why because Moshe Rubino himself right didn't go into the land why because he spoke he hit the rock instead of speaking to the rock so Sharon punished him right so you know hasha Moshe Rabbeinu who was the greatest and the most righteous person who ever lived right Hashem also reached out to him and showed him that he made mistakes so we are in good company it doesn't mean that we're bad so we have to get out of this feeling of guilt because even to deal with this question so I'm just explaining that really the third step in getting your prayers answered is to ask yourself what is a Shem teaching me what do I need to do to be Ron how can I be a better person and learn from what's going on so that's number three now ya rabbi Weinberg used to tell the story of a guy that ended up in his in his in his office and people who used to be slept in by Rabbi Shuster and others to his office and he had many stories about people that would end up in the office this one of the more famous ones the guy ended up in his office and of course rabbi Weinberg invites him to stay in learning an issue Torah and the guide was founds in the following way he says you know what I don't need an introduction to God I don't need a yeshiva because God and me we're like this with buddies say sir oh my why was it Wow what do you mean he said well God does miracles for me so reminiscent would you like to elaborate and tell me something about him the miracles they said yeah he said you know what I was riding on my bicycle and an incredible thing happened there was I was on a cliff the wind came and blew me over the cliff and I thought that was it but you know what I went 50 meters down I landed between two rocks and I just landed there unscathed I got up and walked out without even a scratch right nothing right you see Hashem does miracles for me so rabbi why I'm at Burger King in the ia tell me something Hashem saved you but who pushed you off you know that was Hashem to because Hashem isn't just like a Superman the you know what something happens all sudden he swoops in and then he saves the day he's running everything every single moment of the day so the fact that you fell off in the first place was Hashem so let's think about this a little bit more more deeply as Schenn pushed you off and he saved you right so he's obviously trying to get your attention why do you think he's going to trying to get your attention maybe he's trying to get your attention to say you know what you should learn a little bit more about me cuz I'm really here right so this was the story that rabbi way Motel when they told this story right to to bring out the point that Hashem is running everything he's running everything for a reason right and and we need to think about what those reasons are so that's number three now number four is yeah there's a bed so so we need to ask them I said there's another story hood that we just share at this point and that's the following that you know rabbi Weinberg he used to you know he used to go to school of course and you grew up in New York and there was one day when the big fare came to New York City and you know what all the boys in the class decided you know what I'm I'm I'm what they're gonna go play hooky right leave the school for the day and but there was just one condition what was that condition we're going to bring a dollar because they're different things that cost different things they don't want people like you know don't even have money and never gonna bother everybody else so all the kids decided everybody has to have a dollar now Robin Weinberg you know he used to get a dollar how do you used to get a dollar he used to get dollars from his father and this is the truth that he by learning a missioner of pure K are goats of ethics of the fathers his father every time he did that his father would give him a dollar but you know what he didn't have enough time to learn the Mishnah and get the dollar so he didn't have the dollar so he wasn't able to go so he decided you know what I might as well be a good boy I'll go to school right I'll go to school since school was nine and a half blocks away so and he's walking to school he says it looks around and starts thinking is you know what sometimes you can find you can find a dollar on the street goes a couple of blocks he doesn't find it so he says tersh n you know you know look hmm you know sometimes there can be dollars on the street pick up you can find help me find one he couldn't find it goes another couple of blocks can't find say says you know what I share you know what I'm you know why don't you lend me the dollar you know what lend me a dollar I'm asking for you you know lend me the dollar I'll learn a mission of proteomics I'll get it from my father and I won't take it so you're just doing your lending it what's a couple of blocks doesn't get it the next couple of blocks here then he says to shine look you know what I'm never gonna get into an argument with my sister again I'm gonna be nice to my parents you know I'm really good so water doesn't get it then he pulls out all the stops and he says God if you give me this dollar I'm never gonna do anything wrong again in my life and as soon as he said that he laughed right because he realized if he would get it he's gonna go play hooky and not go to school so if he so it didn't make sense so this story is introduction to the next point which is that we need to ask know what number four is ask why you're asking for the things you're asking right no way you're asking for and mean it think about it because we have to be sure than what we're asking is really good for us now sometimes we think things are very good for us I for example we may think that you're gonna get them you know if I would be a really wealthy you know then then I you know I would be able to do so much I'd give so much so darker and I'd help so many people yeah but the reality is that you know what maybe we wouldn't maybe we would stop being you know learning so much we would stop growing so much we would get comfortable maybe we get a lot arrogance who knows how that money would change us everybody knows that a child right you know who's you know a child or though you get home a father gives a million dollars 37 years old or he's in ten years old that's no that's gonna spoil the kid that's not gonna be good for the kid so for us we need to ask ourselves well what what do I want and why do I want it right and that's a crucial part of prayer because in prayer itself right as we said before Hashem doesn't need our prayers so what are we doing in our prayer which we clarifying the things that we really want in our lives and the reality is that the shmona astray service that we have right it actually teaches us what we should want which is an amazing it's like a symphony right what is the Cremona s ray do it starts off with a realization and awareness of Hashem is like we said in the beginning no the first three blessings know who has Shem really is really realizing he's here and all the things that we said then then we have 13 blessings right which only quests and the blessings are divided up into personal requests both physical and spiritual and then there's requests for the community-at-large physical and spiritual right and therefore the the the the shamone s rate of the the standing prayer the Amidah that we say is teaching us the things that we should want and we say that three times a day to get our desires into what are the right things but when you pray for your own things that you want which you can do in the shamone s ray in certain prayers at certainly at the end of the Simone s rate and interlock olena in the blessing of art when you ask for Shen to answer your prayers so when you ask you what we need to do is what is it that we really want and why do we want it we know the famous you know the famous story of the presence of the show who came to his rabbis in and and says rabbi I'm leaving he says why are you leaving in the present you're the the pillar of the whole synagogue he said listen I mean I'm probably being parapet that's usually paint they're praying for something for the last twenty years and a Shem has not answered my prayers the rabbi said well what do you be praying for he said I've been praying for a mercedes-benz for 20 years and a Shem didn't answer my prayers the rabbi said he did answer your prayers the answer was no right so he has to understand that you know is sometimes a nice but the reason I'm telling you this this joke this story is because we have to ask is that good for me yes the things that we want are they good for me what is it really so in addition to that when you ask for something sincerely and you and you know why you your your your your whole being is more involved in it sometimes we can ask things you know please give me this twine really want it is it really 101 yes it is whatever everyone and then once you I do confirm it or you realize that you know what maybe that's not so good for me but then you keep praying for it and then you see how sham responds and then often when you understand why what you want and why you want it you'll see those things in life much more right you'll see if you prayed for it and you sincere about it and you ask yourself why yeah then sometimes if you didn't ask for it in the first place it might just go right past you you never notice it's only because you asked for it and you just prayed for it with such a look further in such a forbidden way that you actually even see it there so that's so that's number four is that ask yourself are the things that I'm praying for really good for me or maybe they're not what and and therefore by asking the question why right it gives you a deeper connection and understanding and thinking is this good for me and as you take steps and and life unfolds right you keep asking for those things do I want it is and so and so forth so that's the number four right and the fifth question 5th step excuse me is that you have to do something about it right it's not enough yeah to to just ask but you have to do something we're all familiar with the famous story of the person's on the boat and he says Hashem save skille and the boat is drowning the barrel of the boat is sinking and he's about to drown so Hashem save me save me and Shem sends along another boat and he says no no no I don't need you because Hashem will save me and the chimp sense had sent a helicopter no no no I don't need you position will save you me and finally he drowns because it's not enough just to ask you have to do something about it I think we all understand you know it's a person you know god forbid is in front of someone who is dying and his please Hashem please Hashem how help him help him help him but if you could have saved his life and you didn't because you were praying to God that's you we won't intuitively understand that that's not enough you've got to do something about it now why right because when the extent to which you're prepared to do and to act it gets your body into it it gets your whole being into it so when you decide to do something about it it means that it shows a Shen that you really want it because we are a soul and a body together just asking so to speak with your soul is not enough we have to show her Shen that this is what we really want so when we pray for things the next thing you need to do is ask what is it that I can do to make this come about there's a famous story of the hobbits kind and that he gives an analogy and he said that there was a beggar that was in a certain town and he was in the middle of the town he was saying please I need money I can't support myself like it's so hard so a businessman of their approaches him and says okay don't worry come to my to my office gives him the address two o'clock tomorrow and I'll give you so two o'clock comes by guess what he doesn't turn up okay something must have happened yeah he goes to the same place the next night and this Kabir this businessman sees the same guy please I need money I really need your help have rubbed my mercy on me the poor poor innocent listen I know yes they become tomorrow to two o'clock and I'll give you I'll give you a nice check two o'clock goes by he doesn't show up that night same thing he goes into the town he sees the guy please help me sit so he tells the guy okay come tomorrow two o'clock comes 1:30 to 2:30 doesn't show up he sees the same guy at the same night the same that night doing the same thing please please please so the hobbits time explains then when we pray to assure them and we chase Canaan who meet her there be no Moscow say - we asked for understanding please Hashem give me understanding right and we say that our chakras in the morning service and a Shem says fine just you know go learn a little Torah go to the base Madras go to the achiever go alone with your herb Rosen huh Bruce is going on with the I'm making all these things available and we don't go and then minica comes along and we say please Hashem give me understanding give me understanding and a chef says listen I was waiting for you in the basement I was waiting I sent people to you to give to him and I was waiting for you but you didn't you know and then comes Morrow and my arm comes by him so please give me understanding instead he said I don't know what's going on here I'm giving you the opportunities if you would just do something about it don't just ask like the Papa asked to ask and not to do is not enough you need to ask and to do and that's a cognitive part of this whole Derrick let's all approach so that we're saying excuse me is that you're gonna call your heart out in your prayer but at the same time you could ask very seriously what is it that I can do we will understand if a person wants to pray to be a millionaire and he doesn't do anything about it okay he's not serious and his prayer isn't serious he says you know what I'm gonna pray to be a millionaire and I'm gonna do something about it I'm gonna start sweeping the streets and now I bring in some money he's also not serious about it because you know as a street cleaner it's not the right effort to get the result that you're looking what about you know if you're you get a job in an office well depends what kind of job but if you're really serious about becoming a millionaire you go for a job that could potentially get you there and if you don't take that step you can't expect a Shem to answer your prayers if you didn't do the appropriate action so it takes thinking what is the right action so we need to do that so let's just recap right we have to appreciate that there's an infinite being who loves us and then when we're praying he's there he loves us he wants us to have all the goodness in the world and therefore step number one is expected good because if you don't expect the good you don't she ate that how that he's really loves you with an infinite love but he wants you to have everything good just like a parent once and we'll give you a dime the second thing is if you don't get it right then you should be chucked surprised how could it be why wouldn't he give you that's the second step the third step is there to ask the all-important question which is what am I supposed to learn from this and often we skip this for many reasons like you said maybe you feel guilty we don't to deal with it it's too personal we don't like it threatening whatever it is but that's the all-important question what is it that I could learn from this process what do I think of Chen is trying to teach me what could I be doing better pray and that's that's my next step right and then after that you need to ask number four you need to what's your relationship to the thing you're asking for the first thing what's your relationship to a Shen the four things what's the relationship to your thing that you're asking for is it is it something that's good for me why do I want to get more clarity choose it so that you're really it so the whole process of Prayer changes you as a person that you become a person that really wants to write things in life and therefore you become a totally different person the prayer will change you whether or not you get what you want but by doing that Hashem is more likely also to give you what you and the last thing is that once you finish praying make sure you take the appropriate action that you get your body into that you do it and so therefore this is the five-step way of helping Hashem and allowing a Shem to give you the things that you want that you could for you and through for you to grow in the ways that you can growth and to achieve the avodat of the lane the service of the heart and become someone who's close to Hashem through your process of Prarie it's a derrick it's a it's a way of life that if we able to pray and go through these steps that we become spiritually connected to Hashem and it will change us and lift us in highways but please God we should all pray sincerely and be real right we're the fact that many people today are going through difficult times the people that are sick we should pray and captain there are brothers and sisters and then the whole world and there are people now that we I think all of us know that is pray fervently that for their a reflection leymah completes medium coming for them and for all of Jewish people and the world please God when she come to an end of this difficult time we should learn the lessons we should do the things that we need to do we should introspect what is it that we need to learn well how can we grow on an individual level everybody's different and I know and as a community how can we help each other how can we give to each other how can I change and grow and pour out your hearts to a Shem so for the Jewish people and the world and for things that you want Hashem should bless you that you get all the things that you want that be good for you and please God for the whole Jewish people will see the coming of Messiah speedily in our days and bring us all the things that we prayed for throughout the generation