Rabbi Shlomo Farhi @ Project Inspire Retreat 2019

like I mentioned to save the best for last we have with us rabbi of the Safra synagogue in new york city and the founder of Razak a worldwide international queue of organization outreach organization it's my pleasure to end this week it's my pleasure to introduce to you to end this weekend amazing as it was Rabbi farthing [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you you see so men and a woman are celebrating that 50th wedding anniversary they go out for a beautiful dinner together in a magnificent restaurant and the entire time this wife is trying to figure out when exactly her husband is gonna sneak in this amazing gift she's very gingerly biting understand what she's eating there's gonna bite into a piece of jewelry she looks very carefully guys write this down she looks very carefully in the glass of champagne she's drinking you know nothing and the entire dinner that they have together goes by on eventually she figures it must be coming after dinner you know this was it famous line goes oh ye of little faith sometimes I feel women are of great Fame you know we fail and fail and fail and let you down and you're like oh it's coming now really still have you learned that thing anyway they get outside after the after the meal and she sees right as they walk outside the restaurant pulling up in front of the restaurant is a gleaming brand-new white Ferrari and her husband looks at her and it looks at the car and he smiles and her heart rate just jumps and he says honey you see that white Ferrari she says yeah yeah he says I bought you a scarf the same color they they are similar but they share nothing in common I open that way to illustrate that there are two people who leave a weekend like this or an event such as this and they may look the same they may be the same color they are both slightly fatter than when they came I say slightly cuz the tourist says to be kind I haven't gotten to the part where it says not to lie you're a little tired there are bags under your eyes from all of the amazing programmes and speeches that you have weathered but even though you look the same two of you will walk out those doors and be markedly different and let me explain what I mean by that we are gathered here today because of two people two people who fell in love and got married and decided that they were going to build a magnificent family those two people were called Avraham and Sarah they decided that their family was not going to look like the other families on the block or on the dunes and they decided that not only would their family look different but their children and grandchildren would look different that they would live for another purpose that they would think in another way that they would value other things and 4000 years later I mean I just think about this four thousand years later a bunch of random errs are gathered in a room in a hotel in Woodcliff Lake Hilton which to you is probably not that big a deal like it's whatever it's just a random motel right for me it's a pretty big deal this hotel is the hotel where I first met my wife and then I got divorced and married my current wife sorry I didn't get to the part where it says you're not supposed okay fine so it makes me think when I've came to this hotel it made me think about the families we make about the marriages that we create and marriages are created not only once when you put a ring on it but they are created constantly and consistently throughout every day of our lives we create and recreate and recreate our marriages that love is fragile it can be broken easily Trust can be lost in a matter of seconds even if you've built up all that loyalty for decades so I'm thinking a lot about what a family looks like and what happens when two people dedicated to an ideal decide that they are going to build a family that will shine and teach all those around them what it looks like to live in the most beautiful of ways you know in a Jewish wedding Jewish weddings are hilarious by the way hilarious I got a yeah there was one person that was like yeah yeah all the rest of you were like what is he talking about but you you and I okay yeah and it's most stands out the most when I perform a wedding and there are people who are there who we either not maybe perhaps religious in a way where they know the regular Jewish wedding what it looks like or if there's people who are not Jewish there then they're they've never seen this before so it's always something that I love to explain and every part of the ceremony is layered with incredible meaning and beautiful purpose and that is the essence really of Judaism not just the marriage in a marriage between a man and a woman but between men and his God in shamash you mean the Song of Songs the relationship between us and our Creator is compared to a great love story and I know that most of us don't have this image of God we think of God either in some ways as some sort of totalitarian dictator that rains Hellfire upon us when we don't do what we're supposed to do that's if we went to hater the Sunday School thing which terrified Jewish children since its inception I have a secret theory that cater was created by evangelists to drive Jewish people away from Judaism to make it easier for them to pick them up when they knock on your door but there are so many beautiful things about Judaism if someone was to understand this loving relationship traditionally we understand that loving relationship as a father in heaven we talk about that but I'd like to just say that in sheer hashim it doesn't describe it that way you legend among legends it describes Hakadosh barukh who got himself as our lover as our spouse someone with whom we could have an intimate relationship with for that is what marriage is an intimate relationship that bears no resemblance to the love story of any other relationship think about that the next time you go to a wedding there has never been a love like this there has never been a connection like this the celebration here is completely and utterly unique because the people standing under the chuppah missing to love respect and build with one another are unique so there's a blessing that we say under the Hupa and the blessing says keen love me men who Binion odd-odd it talks about God building a and therefore human beings building an eternal home a home and a family and a set of values that will last forever can we think about that for one minute that what Avram was banging on about 4000 years ago we discussed this weekend at the Birkat Hamazon that we spoke about on Shabbat the benching you guys know that turn now benching I once had a guy who had never been to a Shabbat ever in his life and he came to our house unlike a Shabbat project anyway we're celebrating until late into the evening it's about 1 a.m. in the morning and at 1 a.m. in the morning I thought it was finally time to do Benji so I turned to the sky I was like you want a bench and he's like now like I'm exhausted I was like me too like what are you leaving he's like fine he goes but I'm not gonna be at my best you know six late I just finished eating and that was when I realized that he thought he thought I was randomly asking about one am to my shed in the back do you even lift bro so these terms that Avram talked about that's what we are talking about the guesses that he talked about that's what we're talking about the Vig lers that move out of their room so someone else could spend time that's what he was talking about and that's what we are talking about and sometimes it strikes me that in this eternal home that we talk about under the Hupa sometimes I think you know what that's not just a blessing that we make when we bless them to someone else it's something that all of us have a chance to Institute in our homes and in our lives but it requires a focus the great painter who ran out of colors Andy Warhol how he's thought that monochromatic images came in because Andy Warhol used up all the colors forever he said the idea is not to live forever but to create something that will and I think if we had to sum up what we tried to learn this week together is how do we create something that will live forever consumerism doesn't live forever vacations doesn't live forever luxuries cars don't live forever what lives forever what did Avraham build and how did he build it that he managed to build something that 4,000 years later we're all coming together to spend the Shabbat to discuss so I want to share with you something that is very strange we read this week about Avraham and in it I'm sure it was discussed many times over the weekend his proclivity and predilection for bringing people into his home he was the archetype of this mitzvah Haqqanis at or green welcoming in guests but he says something which sounds markedly unlike something someone like Avram should say I don't know if you noticed it I want you to imagine for one second telling a guest we'd love to have you for Shabbat come have challah eat chicken soup chicken soup his best thing ever right of course its Wars people think about whose mother makes them right calm half-hour have chicken soup and then leave is that an awkward thing to say I don't know I'm an awkward person so for me I have a my barometer is broken anyone know yes weird thing to say kind of you know I had an aunt and uncle that liked to go to sleep early on Friday night shahboz loaf is like a very holy mitzvah like you know that sleep you know so they would set the alot the lights to go off at like 10:30 and all of a sudden the meal be oh the lights are off what a shame seems to need to cut this soiree short I don't if you went to Hebrew school but do you want a bench Avraham literally says that I'm gonna read you the pursuit it's so funny I'd never noticed it until this year and that's the beauty of Torah the more you learn the more you notice the a cacao path let him he says come to my house and I will give you a loaf of bread will have some column mister I do live cam and you will satiate your hearts you will eat to your heart's content AHA Navarro and afterwards skedaddle there's some great no you ever noticed that there's some great words that don't translate in other languages like I would struggle to communicate skedaddle and Ebro you know I just I find that that's like I was trying to explain that you know I have a Sephardic shul my son my school is Syrian which means that they don't know anyone from any other culture and I didn't think that that would get a laugh in the time when we're trying to bring mush yet but fine either way so so in the synagogue I explained I have to explain to them things about scale as people like you know half of me is Ashkenazi after all and I was trying to explain to them that there are words in Yiddish just like there are words in Arabic that have no translation there are words and Yiddish that you cannot translate and I gave one example I said but you have to imagine the guy saying it in stitch you you know with his like Walker he gives a deep sigh and he goes oh yeah you can't communicate the depth the profundity of a can you it's tough right so I see 3/4 Syrian women in the back of the class on the Shabbat they're all like which I knew meant that they were thinking of an Arabic word afterwards I was proven right and they come up and they say actually there is an Arabic word that communicates a I was like what is it they said it's Wu Li anyone here know that word no you guys should get some diversity too okay whatever so so they're like Huli Huli like you say I said there's a big difference between Olli and IFA they said what's the difference I said Olli is when you park your car outside of your apartment building and a giant piece of the roof falls on your car and flattens it into a pancake you walk out you look at the car and you say Lee they said what's a vey I said oh you've a is when you look underneath the bricks and you realize that there's a ticket on your windshield so the pursuit tells us that Avram says come have food and go this is the man who has four doors to his tent I don't think the reason is so that when you come out he can shove you out the backside that was not the point so why is he telling him to leave and I saw this year for the first time the most magnificent answer and it is an answer I think which delineates and describes how it is that we communicate our values to our children and to the people that we meet our ROM is waiting outside of his tent he has just had a breach Milla he's 99 years old all the men are thinking Oh 99 years old having a Brit Milah and he's waiting huh hey Shaima bruh ham was actually Sephardic or whatever listen to this I think this is remarkable he's 99 years old he's had a Brit Mila he has every reason in the world to be sitting inside of his tent and not doing how can I stop working you have to have someone call you for Shabbat and you're like um if you would have called me a little bit earlier does that ever happen we can be honest we're friends I met you at least like 12 minutes ago yeah that's happened right oh I didn't really prepare enough food or we just got back I'm a little bit tired right Abraham's just had a brief Milla as an octogenarian and and he's waiting I mentioned earlier that I I'm quite an awkward person most people this would bother and then and it's perfectly fine for me can we get this on the video you think I divorced that first wife it's the other way around it's not the way around there's a word in the Torah that we find all the time it says valley sat in a vaya and he lifted his eyes and he saw you find it all over the place and he lifted his eyes and he saw and one of the most remarkable ideas I could share with you is the idea that when a person finds that in the Torah it means that the subject about which we are speaking is someone who lifted their eyes and was looking for something where do we find it after the Akkad ah Avram finds out that he's at the top of the mountain and his son does not have to have the Akkad ah where would you do I would run I would run Avram instead lifts up his eyes vehicie in a VAR viene al ah hanukkah's vers la bikina and behold there was another there was another sacrifice there was still something that he could do that was of value in this situation but he looked up looking for something Avram is in such pain but he's looking for something he's looking for guests he's looking for a mitzvah he's desperate and a day goes by and nobody turns up and a second day goes by and nobody turns up and a third day goes by and nobody turns up and now it's the third day and you know what Avraham is thinking maybe the reason I don't have guests is because my method of outreach no longer works rabbi Samson mentioned earlier previously on rabbi Samson well I said she mentioned earlier that Avraham brought people to God by bringing them in and taking care of their needs and after they saw that they had been fed and after they were taken care of he said don't you recognize who this belongs to don't thank me thank the creator of the entire world so I've robbed would bring them in they would eat their meal and when they would want to thank him I've robbed would say don't thank me let's vetch I've robbed wondered to himself after day one after day two after day three maybe my method of outreach is outdated maybe people don't want to come to my house and eat and then bench maybe they don't want to be religious they don't want to be Jewish they don't want to have a connection they don't want to see the beauty of Shabbat they don't want to understand the connection of Prayer they don't want this idea of gratitude of living a life of service of living a life of perfection maybe I'm off the mark so Avram says in an exact parallel for those of you who know the source of Birkat Hamazon in the Torah the Torah says vehiclethe and you will eat with savato you will become full who bear after and then you will bless God says the pursuit Avram says the extra path let him I will give you a bit of bread vissa I do the program and you will become full what's the next bit it should be and then we will bench and Avram says it's not working so come eat enjoy have a great time in my home tomorrow and then you can leave I'm not gonna ask anything of you my love is not conditional it's not dependent are you looking the way you need to look or acting the way you need to act or being something that I hope you P I love you anyway I want you here anyway even without any ulterior motive or agenda Avram understood that creating a home like that where people would feel loved cared for appreciated as they were valued as they were that would be something that would last forever it is such a basic human need if you're hungry and someone gives you a sandwich but makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable like it's their last sandwich selfish of them I know you'd rather not have the sandwich I think that's what brings us here today this willingness to ask people to be bigger to be stronger to be better the first letters of these two words a heart Evaro is Aleph and tough the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet and the last letter of the Hebrew alphabet Avram said to these guests who he thought were non-jewish sojourners in the desert they would desert travelers now it's fascinating to note that when these same angels go down to Sodom and Gomorrah and they visit lot it says and lot welcomed in the Machine the angels but Avraham never meets them as angels the Torah describes them as a machine as men because everyone wants to have heads of state great basketball players and actors with them that's what everybody wants but who wants a nobody who wants someone who's not just a nobody but who's very beliefs and ideals run in Contra distinction to their own Avraham wants them and in that is the Talmud teaches us that there was once a person who came and wanted to learn all of Torah and the sage told him you want to know what all of Torah is 1/2 talamanca show love to somebody else the way that you love yourself you don't need a reason to love yourself even if you've made mistakes you love yourself we give ourself excuses for ourselves love them like you love you and if you do that he said that's all of the Torah it dr. Usha everything else is exegesis everything else comes out of that that is Aleph and that is stuff and ladies and gentlemen I stand with you today with another interpretation of those words then albums has come in Arabic they say fuddle welcome to my house my home and Avram says to these angels come eat be accepted a Hirata Evaro the word a har could also mean a hare someone else come to my house beloved be valued be seen be heard and a higher to evarro you will leave my house a completely different person than the person who walked in what a message and what a lesson for a fractured and judgemental world our world today is more divisive than it has ever been there was a time when the Americans hated the Russians that counties little did we know Manhattan Beach either way we did not realize did not see that one coming there was a time when we hated the Japanese right it's called dislike of the unlike there are times when we hate those that are not like us but I don't know if there was ever a time when America hated itself when there cannot be any conversation between political polls where if you vote for one then you have to hate and despise the other this is the world that we are living in today and Avram's message now resonates louder than it ever has ladies and gentlemen I want to share with you what it looks like when people bring a little bit of avraham into this world bring a little bit of Sarah Ameno into this world one of the great generate greats of our generation was a rabbi whose name was Rabbi Shmuel Hanavi wasner he passed away very recently and he turns up at a hospital called Miami Eshoo at a hospital in Israel and as he walks in he meets a man whose name is Robert Zimmerman he's the local the rabbi of the hospital the person that they install the halacha questions to in the hospital and he sees the rabbi walking in with his entourage and his face is shining like the Sun and he comes to and he says rabbi I have a question for you from one of the patients that I need answered and he says okay what's the question he says there's a man who's in the intensive care unit he's been losing more and more of his bodily functions day by day and I went to visit him today to give a man who has no hope a little bit of hope but he asked me a question and it sucked the air right out of me and I'm hoping maybe you have an answer where I didn't what's the question he says he says the man wants to know when he makes the blessings in the morning one of the blessings is sadly cold sake that God made for me gave to me all of the things that I need he can't move his legs or his arm he needs someone to take a bedpan to collect his bodily fluids someone needs to come in and sponge bathe him should he still be saying the blessing of share a salad cold sake did you know when you hear a question that is not really the question that you're hearing but it reveals a gulf underneath it of emotion of power of despair maybe of bitterness he said that I didn't know what to tell him by the way that's one of the best signs if you're looking for a rabbi and you all should try and find the good one I wish I knew either way one of the greatest signs of an amazing rabbi is that occasionally he says I don't know beware the rabbi that knows everything so he says to rev was there I told him I don't know do you know the answer and rule one of the greatest scholars of our era he didn't answer the question he said what room is the patient he says he's in the intensive care unit on this and this floor he says come with me they walk with the whole entourage into the elevator they come up the stairs the commotion everyone opens the doors what was this what's happening the great rabbi is coming he's walking down the hall finally he walks into the room with this patient and he sits down with the patient and he says how are you feeling my son has everything and the man groans uh ray and then he he musters up for the rabbi's sake a feeble smile and then he groans again where was the system can I tell you a story blinks he nods I don't know showing that he's ok to hear a story and reverse this says when I was a young boy I studied in yeshiva in Lublin called hotmail Lublin it was the Achieva that was founded by the great river mayor Shapiro and one day he came to me and asked me if I would mind accompanying him to go to a hospital local hospital because there was someone who was very sick I said sure a chance to go with my rabbi to see how he acts in these great moments I went with him here he walked in and he says and there was someone sitting in the bed who could not move who was on his last legs and we walked into this room and we thought it was gonna be family members crying and this guy giving some hate-filled diatribe about how God had abandoned them and we walked in he says and we were met by the shine of a thousand suns the man is smiling from ear to ear and I couldn't understand and I looked at my rabbi and as wise as Rivera Shapiro was he couldn't understand either so he asked this man he says with all of this you were smiling how and the man said rabbis I would love to get out of bed and make you a cup of tea I would love to get out of bed and cut you a piece of cake and take care of you and thank you for coming and show you my gratitude that you took the time out of your schedule to be here for me he says but I can't I can't move I can't do much these days he says but the one thing I can do is smile and if that's the one thing I can do then that is my job my mission from God right now my Mitzvah my Torah is just to smile should I not fulfill my mission my purpose with joy and with pride Wow Ravana says to him my son you asked if you could say the blessing Holly called sake that he has given me everything I need life is funny life is strange we don't know what it is that we're going to be given and what it is that we can give but whatever it is that you've got your scenario and your life in your situation and your education and your talents and your health whatever it is that you've got that is your job nothing more if it was anything more you'd have more this situation tells me that this is your job you've only got one job he says if you can't move and that's just to smile smile at people smile for friends smile for people who visit you smile for yourself and then say thank God that he gave me everything I need in order to smile the Oy Vey man smiles and very quickly starts making a recovery it was in a short time after that there RevZilla Minh reported back to her buzz nur that the man walked out of the hospital on his own two legs Ravana had dignified his suffering with purpose he given him a meaning to his life he'd showed him in that dire and desperate place that he also had something to give and that he was important and that he had value I don't know of another organization that takes the mission of Arahama Avenue as seriously as project inspired us [Applause] it is an organization that asks of people who do not know much to share what they know it is an organization that asks of people who grew up religious but are not rabbis to open their home and to become teachers and mentors it asks of everybody no matter where they are to give something what a noble thing what a beautiful thing we are all sitting in right now this chain from Avraham until now which asks and sees value and power and everyone that it meets that sees the image of God in every human being that's what we want you to go home with to recognize the unbelievable power you have and like I started by saying that there are two people that will leave this conference one that will have learned a lot eight a lot and then need to run a lot to get rid of all that he ate there are those that will see their time here a little bit differently the Talmud in near Vermont says call her Omer only Ella Torah anyone who says all I have is Torah I have not done a name it's what I've not done anything but all I have is wisdom and Lea Ella Torah the Talmud says a fellow Torah in law he doesn't even have Torah because Torah is not some academic subject Torah is something that if you understood it properly it would be impossible not to do after having a Shabbat like you've had is it possible to go back and not bring some of that back to your children to your friends to say to them I witnessed what it looks like when phones are off where families actually talk to each other strange thing that conversation amazing I'm gonna check if it's on my verizon plan unlimited free talk and text right amazing ladies and gentlemen learning without doing is not one without the other rather a fundamental lack in the learning if you understand that sticking your hand and a blender is gonna chop off your fingers you have no desire to do so and I remember reading an amazing quote and I'm paraphrasing from rabbi Emmanuel Bernstein he said that sometimes these ideas manage to make it into our moral dictionaries but somehow fail to make it into our Diaries I hope that over this weekend you did not learn I hope that over this weekend you grew that over this weekend ideas fundamentally changed within you to allow for something to be different when you get home with your friends and with your family there was an entertainer who gave ten minutes of his time a comedian to some Vietnam vets ten minutes are up and as he finishes with his ten minutes this entertainer carries on with another ten the the sergeant running the event is overjoyed like the sky charges like fifty grand an hour he goes twenty minutes and then he goes thirty minutes and finally comes down the sergeant says that was amazing thank you so much but I remember when we booked you you said only ten minutes why did you change your mind and he says you know it was amazing I give jokes to these people who'd suffered the worst tragedies in the forests of the V Khong who'd lost friends who'd lost family who'd lost who mate you know unbelievable maybe perhaps irreplaceable parts of themselves and I tell a joke and they'd laugh and I could see them smile it felt amazing and then I tell some jokes and they really went down well and they clapped I don't know that's like but whatever right Nick Oh pity clap seriously put it in a doggie bag and take it home later he says and while I'm doing my ten minutes I looked down and in the front row I see two veterans one who's lost his left arm in an explosion and the guy sitting next to him who's lost his right arm in an explosion and everyone's laughing and then I landed another punchline and everyone started to clap and they looked at one another and one held up his right hand the other held up his left hand and they together started to clap he says that I was filled with an emotion that I've never felt in my whole life and I didn't want it to end this thing magnificent when someone who is not whole comes together with someone else who is not whole isn't there to make something that neither of them could have done by themselves and is that not the human story are any of us whole are any of us perfect what a beautiful thing it is that project inspire has done to bring those who maybe are looking for someone to give to and those who are looking for someone to learn from and people who want to bring this back to their communities it's unbelievable that is the applause I think that keeps the entertainer on stage that keeps God wanting to bless us with more of life's blessings and I would like to end if I can with just this our torah tells us that the fire of torah is like me me no ash that l'amour ish that means a fire of religion what is the fire of our religion Rashi the classic commentator says it is Ash shakoora a black fire superimposed on white fire that sounds incredibly esoteric even for those who are fans of Lord of the Rings but one explanation of this black fire on white fire struck me to the depths of my soul and I will leave you with this interpretation the tsar teaches us that cabbalistic allah we understand that the name of the Jewish people is Easter il and Easter L is an acrostic it sans for the words yesh Hashim rebo or to your clitoris yes Rael yesh Hashim rebo or takla Torah there are sixty six hundred thousand letters in the Torah count them by the way next time you're bored in an interminable service there's only about half that and one of the interpretations is that you know what it means when we say that there are six hundred thousand souls the original souls of the Jewish people the ones that left Egypt do you know what it means when we say that there are six hundred thousand letters in the Torah it is black fire on white fire take a Torah and look at it from afar and you will see that there are black shapes and then there is the white shape in between those black letters that looks maybe to the untrained eye like another letter there are those who are men of letters there are those who have learning in them and that might be part of the Jewish people but they are nothing without a piece of parchment without white fire to inscribe that upon what a beauty for weekend what a safer Torah we have created in this room I'm mr. el Uniting coming together in the most beautiful of ways teaching one another learning from one another in one moment I am the Blackfyre and you were the white fire and like the Mishnah and Ivo tells us azúcar comma ylim nd koala damu is a wise person he who learns from all man and you and I over sometime on Shabbat switched places and I become your white fire and you write on my soul and on my heart and you teach me about what it feels like to be Jewish without having gone to yeshiva and what it feels like to be perhaps judged in the street maybe a better religion that you don't know as much as I do about we have so much to learn from one another please let us make sure that these are not just ideas that we have learned and they don't need to be big small people only try and do great things but it is only great people who understand the value of doing small things it takes a rev was ler perhaps the greatest Siddiq of a generation to tell someone that there is beauty in only a smile there is beauty in only a single Shabbat in one little session of Torah learning a week in one tiny invite to someone else to a holiday season to send someone miss Lama not to dress up beautifully for Shabbat and whatever it is it is valuable you can't keep all of it like the candles you can't light the candles you're afraid of fire meet with me I'm a pyromaniac make the kaduche this so much that we can take from one another and learn to be able to grow in the most beautiful way and walk away from here inspired it is Mike scopic perfection that ultimately will lead this world in the time of mushiya to its macroscopic perfection I would love not to see mushiya and like innumerable teenagers take a selfie with him I would like to greet my chef at the end of time and he'll say hey I'm mashiac and I'll be like hey I'm slo-mo I thought I was you for a while then I got married Noel yeah and instead of saying take a picture with me I'd love to say I know who you are I was the one that brought you by reaching out by loving by teaching by perfecting may God bless us all to find room within ourselves in our hearts to grow more and to find room within our hearts for another Zach Oberoi [Applause] ladies and gentlemen checkout is in ten minutes don't forget the tip the day camp counselors ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us we look forward to seeing you again thank you