Rabbi Binyamin Yuhanan - Laws & Customs of Purim

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] good evening good evening so today we are going to learn about pudding and we have to learn about tanit ester as well that's what's coming up uh tomorrow morning and we're going to learn the mitzvoth for tomorrow and then it's vote for friday purim day itself now let's start with um from the beginning now we enter the month of adar month as well as month of nisan are times when the jewish people are supposed to be extra happy every day of our life we're supposed to be happy but when it comes to adar and his son we have to increase our happiness why because miracles happen to the jewish people in the olden times and whenever we go through the same time of the year the same spiritual influence can be felt again so since we're going now through the month of adar and soon month of nisan these are times when the jewish people experienced miracles in the past and they will experience miracles again now we we know that the the jewish people in times of purim they fasted esther decreed that there should be a fast for three days and nowadays we as well fast but only for one day and we move that fast to be right before putin so tomorrow starting at 5 15 a.m in the morning that is the time of dawn um every healthy adult must fast and we fast until 6 03 pm so from 5 15 a.m until 6 0 3 p.m this is according to safari ashkenazim fast for a little longer and for us um at 603 if necessary you can already break your fast however the custom is not to break your first until after you hear the miguel so if you plan to listen to the megillah tomorrow evening right after six o'clock you should first wait until you finish the megillah and only then eat or drink however if for some reason you will not be able to listen to the miguel at six or three p.m for example if a person is at work or the husband and wife are exchanging first one is babysitting and then the other and you'll have to wait until seven or eight pm then you're allowed to break your fast uh before hearing the megillah also if someone finds that they're very weak and they will not be able to pay attention to the amygdala they're allowed to break their fast but when breaking the fast they shouldn't eat a whole meal they should just have a snack now this fast is considered a minor fast it's not like yom kippur or tisha and therefore anyone who feels sick doesn't have to fast that includes a pregnant woman doesn't have to fast and a nursing woman doesn't have to fast not only that any woman that gave birth within the last 24 months doesn't have to fast again any woman that gave birth in the last two years does not have to fast tomorrow if a person has cold flu headache any other disease he doesn't have to fast tomorrow uh if somebody is elderly and frail also they don't have to fast children under 13 are not obligated to fast there is a custom that a child who is close to bar mitzvah or bad mitzvah and this is the uh the the the fast that is right before baro bad mitzvah then they do fast but all other children are not required to fast this fast uh only eating and drinking is prohibited but taking a shower is permitted wearing leather shoes is permitted putting lotion cream on your hands on your skin is permitted so again only drinking and eating are not allowed now the the next mitzvah that we have is mahat siddhashekar that is in times of beit amik dash every jew gave half a shekel which is a coin a silver coin in order to purchase offerings for the following year this way every jew participated in all public offerings and uh now we don't have beta mcdash but as commemoration of that mitzvah we also give half a silver shekel now someone is asking a question if brushing teeth is permitted and yes rushing teeth is permitted but you have to be careful not to swallow any water some people are more strict and they rinse their mouth with mouthwash or they brush their teeth regular and then rinse with mouthwash but if you need you can brush your teeth regular just be careful not to swallow so we give mahadasith hashekel as a commemoration of the original half shekel coin how is it done it is done tomorrow during the fast before pudding starts every man woman and child should be contributing that means that a parent should contribute mahasita shekel for every member of their household for example if someone has four children plus the mother and the father so there are six members of the family and what is the proper amount to give so there are different customs some give half of american dollar per family member some give three times half american dollar that means they give dollar fifty per uh household member and some people give the actual value of half a shekel in silver which according to this year 2021 is about eight dollars so uh the four customs are half a dollar dollar fifty eight dollars and some are strict and they give three times eight dollars that means they give 24 per family member you can choose whatever you uh can afford the the regular the standard safari customer is eight dollars per family member who is it given to you can give it to a synagogue you give it to yeshiva you can give it to a caller or someone who studies torah so this money should be given for torah uh education again either synagogue yeshiva colon or individual who learns torah okay good next is the mitzvah um so somebody is asking what about a pregnant woman just like by yom kippur a pregnant woman gives double for caparot one for herself and one for her baby is it the same here it's up to you you're not required if you want you can it's voluntary if you want to contribute for for the baby you can okay mute everyone to make sure we don't get interrupted okay done and now let's continue to the next mitzvah and now this mitzvah is done on purim itself is done on the fast if a person forgot he can still do it during putin the next mitzvah is listening to the megillah at the end of the fast we pray the evening prayer and right away we read the megillah both men and women have to listen to miguel twice on purim once at night and once during the day both are obligatory so therefore it is recommended that everyone should take time off from work if possible so that they can fulfill both mitzvot um reading the mcgill at night and reading megillah during the day when we read the megillah we have to make sure we are there from the beginning you have to listen from the beginning till the end every word of the megillah if you don't understand it is okay as long as you're listening uh if you can have english or russian text in front of you it is good you can follow with your eyes and just listen with your ears to the hebrew version and follow with your eyes the english or russian don't say it with your mouth the mcgill has to be read from a kosher scroll and therefore if you have a homage in front of you you can follow along but better not to read because we're concerned that if you start reading to yourself you might not pay attention to the hazard but nevertheless if a person did read quite quietly with whisper he nevertheless fulfilled the um the mitzvah now somebody is asking a question um what if you don't understand hebrew the megillah that is read publicly is read in hebrew and everyone must listen if you don't understand hebrew you still fulfill the mitzvah however since it's good to understand what's being read it's a good idea to have english version in front of you so that you can scan it with your eyes don't pronounce the words but just scan it with your eyes of course preferably every person should read the megillah beforehand before purim so that they have an idea what's being read now children also should listen to megillah if they are over the age of five or six years old but only on the condition that they can sit through the entire megillah quietly if they will cry or make noise or ask the parent to go to the bathroom then you shouldn't bring such children to the synagogue only children who can handle half hour 40 minutes 45 minutes of sitting in one place and listen otherwise children are not obligated now what if a person cannot come to synagogue then they should invite someone and even pay some someone to come and read privately for them in their house what if a person is quarantined then they should also in invite someone who should stand by their window or by their front door open door without coming in and read the megillah for them now what if a woman is with children she cannot go to hear the megillah so then they should switch with her husband the husband should go to pray early for example he'll pray aravid and then he'll listen to the megillah at 6 00 pm and she can go at 7 pm or 8 pm or 9 pm and in the morning the husband can go to the synagogue at six o'clock in the morning seven o'clock in the morning and she can go 9 10 11. what if someone cannot go at all no one to watch their children uh their single mother or they're sick or they're in quarantine they cannot go and they cannot afford or they cannot find anyone to come to the house what should they do can they listen on zoom so listening to megillah online on zoom or on the phone does not fulfill your obligation however if a person truly has no way to go to hear the megillah it is better than nothing it is better that he should listen it to it on the phone or on zoom than not listening at all for sure it is better but he doesn't fulfill them it's five therefore a person should put in effort and even be willing to pay money for someone to come and babysit while they're going or for someone to come and read the megillah for them there are many communities where women get together and they invite a rabbi or hazan to come and read miguel for them so you if you cannot go to synagogue or you cannot afford someone to comment for you find get together with other ladies or other people and invite someone to read for the whole group okay now we will go to the next mitzvah of purim and that is is a time of celebration but not by yourself together with others just like any other holiday the torah says a celebrate you your son your daughter your wife even your servants but also don't forget about the poor don't forget about the orphans and the widows and the converts don't forget about those that might be less fortunate than you that's what the torah says about all holidays and the rabbis made pudding the same as other holidays and they say you should share you should share your meal you should share money you should share food and we'll see how it applies now someone is asking about megillah um can anyone who reads hebrew read the megillah and the answer is yes on a condition that they read from a kosher megillah scroll and the kosher megillah scroll does not have any vowels in it and therefore a person who is reading has to be knowledgeable he has to remember how to read every word of the megillah correctly so let's say that the both the husband and the wife know how to read hebrew then the wife can hold the homage and the husband can hold the kosher megillah and the husband is going to be reading without the vowels and the wife will be making sure that he reads correctly and if he reads the word incorrectly she's going to tell him and then he'll correct himself and read it correctly and like this they can go through the entire regular by themselves and both of them will fulfill them it's fun so if you have a kosher scroll you can do that or if you don't you can borrow it you can send a message find out who has a cautious scroll and if your husband can read hebrew without vowels that is an option if you take a homash and you follow along and correct him someone is asking why megillah is read twice that's a good question don't remember right now but megillah has to be read both at night and during the day at night it's red after we break the fast from about uh 6 p.m and on and in the morning it should be red after sunrise if it was red before sunrise as long as it was ready after dawn it is okay and it can be red until sunset after the fact meaning if a person realized a few minutes before sunset he can still read it and um as long as he's going to finish within um the first 13 minutes after sunset since shabbat is coming right after purim one should make sure they find a megillah reading before shabbat now someone is asking a technical question do you need to unroll the mcgill scroll and there are different customs for it ashkenazi custom is that you unroll the entire mcgill scroll and then you read and as you read you don't roll it back you you fold it partially on the other side according to safari custom you don't have to unroll it at the beginning but even sephardium agree that you don't roll it at the end until you finish in time aguila only then you roll the scroll otherwise you lay it flat you can make a few folds but you don't roll it okay now coming back to the mitzvoth of sharing there are three mitzvot that a jew must share one is matanotlev you neem giving gifts to poor people the second one is sending portions of food to your friends family and anyone who you want to develop friendship with and the third one is the festive pudding meal to which you should also try to invite those that are less fortunate either they are more poor or they have no relatives no one to celebrate with so let's go through these three sharing mitzvoth mata not leaving gifts to the poor by the way all three myths vote of sharing have to be done on purim day from sunrise until sunset which is friday this year on 2021 uh mata not levine should be the gifts to poor should be given on friday day and how much to give number one you have to remember every person has to give a monetary gift to two poor people enough for them to get something to eat minimally they should buy they should be able to buy three slices of bread which approximately is um a half a dollar let's say that's the bare minimum however preferably one should give anywhere between two to five or ten dollars per per person so that they can buy a normal full meal so that means that then a regular person should give five dollars or ten dollars to two poor people five or ten dollars to each and so for every uh member of the family and for children also if they're above five or six years old and they understand parents should tell them i am giving charity on your behalf the mitzvah but not leave your name so that they are trained to perform its world now all meets vote of sharing have to be done during the day of purim on friday including gifts to poor including mishloch baskets of food and including the podium meal if any of these are done at night the person does not fulfill his obligation he does get a mitzvah of taking care of another jew for example if you send a basket of food to your neighbor or friend you do get a mitzvah of loving another jew of hesse of sharing in a joy but you don't fulfill the mitzvah of mishloch however if a person knows that he will fulfill the mitzvah on the purim day he will give gifts to the poor people he will give mishloch and he will have a festive meal and he wants to do the same thing at night as well nothing is stopping him for example if you have co-workers or distant relatives or people that you're not going to see on pudding day it's okay to give it to them before either at night or even thursday or even tonight which means as long as you will give the minimum gift on purim day the rest you can give any time so now we're speaking about mata not levi union gifts to poor people but this applies to the meal as well so the the gifts to poor ideally it should be money and ideally it should be enough money to buy a meal and you have to give it to two separate people and we said the minimum is 50 cents but preferably it should be five or ten dollars and a person should give as much charity as he can afford it says that the person should give majority of his money for matanote elevynim and the minority for mishloch and the purim meal which means that a person shouldn't say oh i'm going to make a lavish pudding meal and i'm going to send lavish baskets of food to my friends and family who don't really need it and i'm only going to give minimum amount to poor people i'm going to just give them 50 cents i'm going to give 5 000 i'm going to give them 10 that's it leave me alone no that's not the proper way the proper way is to say how much am i spending for the purim meal five hundred dollars how much am i spending on mishloch five hundred dollars a thousand so that means i have to spend the same amount to give to poor people thousand fifteen hundred that is the proper way a person receives a greater reward for mata not levine gives to poor then for gift baskets or the pudding meal itself why because the value of something is judged by the product that you achieve if you send someone a gift basket with snacks and they don't really need it they have plenty of food themselves how much reward you get very little you send something to someone who doesn't need it but if you send money to a poor person he will be happy you would make a difference in his life and therefore yomitzvah will be so much more precious and valuable and someone is asking a question should i give this gift to people who are observant or not so you will fulfill them it's whether the person is observant or not and in fact there is a chance that if you send a food basket to someone who is not observant they will participate and put him as well they might be inspired and they will give a food basket back to you or someone else and therefore they will fulfill a mitzvah or they will be so inspired by uh you giving them attention and they'll say you know what i want to explore judaism more and they might become more observant thanks to you however when you're asking about monetary gifts then if your funds are limited then you have to give it to someone who is going to do better things with them for example if you give it to a person who is observant he's going to buy kosher food if you give money to a person who is not observant he might buy non-kosher food so therefore it would be better to give it to someone who is observant what about giving gifts to non-jews we are allowed to give gifts to non-jews if not giving will cause them to dislike jews because they're going to look and say why did my co-worker give baskets of food to all other workers except for me this is because i'm not jewish so in such a case yes you can give them a basket of food in order to avoid bad feelings what about monetary gifts so our responsibility to support the poor is first and foremost to those that are closer to us therefore if you have a choice to give money to poor people who are your relatives or friends that is the top priority then people in your community than people in your city and your country and if you have a choice between a jew and a non-jew since a jew is part of your nation you have a responsible to give him first if you have more money left then for sure it's a good idea to give to non-jews as well and in fact if a non-jew asks you for money you should not say no you should always give the question is how much if you know the person you give them more if you don't know the person you give them less if a random person on the street asks you for money it's a good idea to give them to practice charity to practice loving kindness but you don't have to give them a large amount because you don't know them you don't know if they're going to do anything good with the money so you can give them minimal donations a quarter or a dollar okay now going to the next mitzvah one more question can you give the the money gifts to poor to a messenger for example someone who collects for others yes definitely can you give the money to a synagogue yes if the synagogue has a list of poor people that they will distribute money yes you can definitely give it to synagogue a an organization that collects money um a cola or even a yeshiva that offers subsidized tuition to students another question when does this money need to be given to the poor person as we said it has to be even on purim day what if i mail a check that's okay if he if the poor person will receive it on purim day what if i pay with credit card and the poor person will not receive it so that is also okay as long as the poor person knows that money is coming he will be able to lay out the money on the day and go and buy for themselves whatever they need so therefore we're allowed to pay uh the poor person with a check even if he doesn't cash it with credit card money order or any other way um even with food that they can eat on purim day as long as they know that the money is going to be coming to them that is good enough however ideally you should transfer the ownership which means if you want to give it to someone but you only see them next week so you tell you call them and you tell them you know what i collected some money for you i will give you 500 but you need to transfer the money to them how can you do that so you give the money to some other jew and you say please accept this money on behalf of so and so and by giving this messenger the money it's as if you gave money directly to the poor person and even if the poor person will receive the money only later still as long as the poor person knows that money is coming he will be more open and generous to buy stuff for himself on putin what constitutes a poor person who can accept this money anyone who finds it hard to make ends meet honestly for his basic necessities is allowed to accept this money this includes anyone who learns full-time anyone whose main occupation is studying torah anyone who voluntarily gives up work in order to learn or teach others as well as any other poor person anyone who finds it hard to afford kosher food to be able to pay rent to pay tuition so anyone who is in difficult financial situation is allowed to accept these gifts for poor and again our relatives come first our friends come first now let's continue to the um the mitzvah of mishloa manod one last question about uh giving gifts to poor people can you give them food yes giving food to a poor person so that he can eat it on put him is okay ideally it should be money so that he can buy anything he wants but if you give them food is also okay now mishlokhmanot is gift of food portion of food or it's also called basket of food a person should send one basket of food to one jew this basket of food should contain two kinds of food preferably of different blessings and preferably this two kinds of food should be wrapped separately it can be in one basket but they should be wrapped separately for example you can send a pastry and a fruit or a pastry and a candy bar or a bowl of salad and a fruit or a bowl of salad and a pastry just different ideas or you can send some pretzels and uh some some popcorn pretzels are miso note popcorn is adama preferably one of the two foods should not be a drink but if you want to add a drink in addition to two foods that's okay after the fact if a person did send one food and one drink he nevertheless fulfilled the mitzvah so for example if you send someone a loaf of bread and a bottle of wine you fulfill the mitzvah of mishloch and even though each person should send at least one basket of food however there is no limit you can send to as many people as you want and every member of the family should send to the his or her friends children who are of age that they understand should send to their friends the husband and the wife should send to their friends they should not forget that this is not a mitzvah for the household but it's a mitzvah on each individual therefore the husband shouldn't say oh i'm just gonna give out a few gift baskets to my friends and that's it now he has to also give some gifts pass gift baskets on behalf of his wife to her friends or the opposite the wife might be busy preparing mishloch not and she prepared the 100 mishloch and she sent it to all friends and family but she sent it from her and the husband didn't participate so they have to keep in mind and send on each other's behalf has to be sent during the day if a person will not see a friend during the day it's okay to stand at night as long as you sending at least one during the day as well we can mail mishloch as well if they will be received don't put him or if you're giving another mishloch on put him anyway then you can send it earlier or later that's okay ideally the food that you're sending as mishloch should be edible should be fully cooked should not require additional preparation however if a person sent raw food he nevertheless fulfilled his mitzvah after the fact for example if you send a package of meat and a loaf of bread expecting that the person will cook the meat after the fact you fulfill the mitzvah okay a person can fulfill it on behalf of someone else for example if you have elderly parents grandparents non-observant friends and family you can give money on their behalf and you can send mishloch on their behalf and it will be considered as if they did it of course preferably you should inform them that you did it for them so that they should be aware that they made the mitzvah so again a person can be kind and send mishloch and matanot leviane on behalf of those that cannot or will not do it on their own okay so we have to keep in mind that mishwah manored baskets of food has two meanings two reasons number one it should be food that the person will eat on pudding so you should estimate what will my friend like to eat today and send them that food ideally the food of mishloch at least one of yo mishloch should be eaten on purim day the second reason why we send ishlokh is to develop friendship between people therefore you should send it to people who are not getting so many and they will appreciate it more they will love you they will feel good that someone thought about them you don't have to send it to people who will receive hundreds of gifts anyway and they're not even going to notice who sent it to them it would be better it would be better to send to those that are less popular or to let to those that are poor so that they will receive the wine and the grape juice and the cookies and the other food and they will actually enjoy it on purim day now an important question if somebody is a mourner an avel someone's parent passed away in the last 12 months according to safari custom they are still obligated to send mishloch but they should only do the minimum they should only send one mishlochman and we don't send mishloch to them if someone sends mishloch to them they can accept it not to hurt the person but ideally we don't send to a mourner but again a mourner is obligated to fulfill the mitzvah of both matano levionem and mishlochmannot and as well as leading the miguela and eating the purim meal now what if you have a poor person who cannot afford to give matanod levine or mishloch in such a case he can find another poor person and they can exchange gifts one poor person will give money to this one and this poor person will give money back to him this way each each one uh will fulfill the mitzvah without losing anything both monetary gifts and baskets of food they can exchange now we spoke about the mourner what about other family members other family members have no restrictions only the more they themselves cannot receive or should not receive money baskets of food but all the other members of the family are allowed to receive the baskets of food the next mitzvah is the meal on purim ideally a person should eat two meals on pudding one for breakfast and one for lunch this year especially since purim is on friday we should not delay the afternoon meal and make supper out of it whereas on a regular year that's what we would do we would eat breakfast in celebration of purim and then we would eat later on lunch or early supper about an hour before sunset this year it's better to have lunch instead of supper and therefore every person after they come back from the synagogue in the morning should have a festive meal preferably with meat and wine and then they should rest take a nap and in the afternoon one two three o'clock they should have a second meal and because it's friday preferably they should finish the meal by four o'clock so that when they go shabbat prayers and by the time they come back around 6 30 7 o'clock they should have some appetite to eat the friday night shabbat meal if a person can only have one meal then it's preferable to start it before the midday which is about 12 o'clock now so it's prefer if a person is only having one meal it's preferable to have that meal around 10 11 o'clock before midday and if he wants he can continue into the midday uh and then he'll have appetite for shabbat meal hi remember yes it's like a big question everyone's asking also on facebook i don't know if you said it earlier um but everyone's been asking if you are allowed to eat if you are allowed to hear um magilla on zoom especially for people that can go and people that their health is a problem um can't people hear megillah on zoom is it acceptable also someone that have kids um that can't go to shul is that acceptable okay yes i answered this question before but let me say it again a person who cannot go to synagogue should try to invite someone to their house to read megillah for them or she should hire a babysitter or wait for their husband to come home and then go and even though they will not have a meal together but that is preferable for example the husband will come and watch the children and in the meantime he will have the meal and the wife will go to the synagogue and listen to megillah and she'll come back and have a meal then or beforehand if it's not possible for them to go to synagogue it's not possible for them to hire a babysitter or exchange with their spouse and it's not possible to invite someone to read the megillah for them at home nothing is possible then it is good for them to listen on zoom but again according to most opinions they will not fulfill their mitzvah there are minority opinions that say that listening on zoom you will fulfill the mitzvah therefore if a person has absolutely no choice no chance of listening to megillah he should listen on zoom it's better than nothing and at least according to some opinions they will be okay but again majority opinions say that you do not fulfill listening to megillah on zoom or on the phone it's only an emergency uh matter if you will absolutely not be able to listen to megillah live then you can rely on zoom okay thank you for your question now we continue we have a mitzvah to drink wine on purim preferably during meals this mitzvah is primarily for men women can make a blessing and drink a little bit that's good but they're not required to drink a lot they're not supposed to become intoxicated for a woman to become drunk is not considered modest and it's not proper a man if he is able to handle it should become a little bit intoxicated there are various opinions about it some say as long as you drink more than usual that's already enough for example if normally a man does not drink wine by a meal and now on purim he will that's enough if normally a man drinks one cup of wine by a meal now he'll drink two cups that's enough some say that it's enough to eat a morning meal and drink some wine and then take a nap while you are sleeping it's as if you are intoxicated and you fulfill your mitzvah like that some say you should drink enough to become a little bit drunk but everyone agrees you should not drink so much that you will become really drunk not only you shouldn't it's forbidden for a man to drink so much that he will do something improper and man is not allowed to drink so much that because of that he will say a vulgar word or a hurtful word or because of that he will not be able to pray or because of that he will hurt someone physically or he will not do any other mitzvah the opposite if a human being drinks so much that he will become drunk to the point that he will transgress any mitzvah instead of getting a reward for drinking he will be punished and therefore a person should be very careful it's better to drink less than require then to drink more than required okay now on purim day we add in our prayers in the silent prayer in the blessing of mudim and we add ala nissim in birkat amazon after a bread meal in the second blessing um if a person forgot to mention alain iseem he does not repeat the the prayer and he does not repeat the katamazon however he can add alanisim at the end of prayer by after his own by elokai uh and similarly by birkat amazon if you realize that you missed it you don't have to go back but you can say alanis in in the last portion of bircat amazon it's important as i mentioned before to invite others to your meal number one to help them if they cannot afford to have a meal and number two to have a more festive meal because the the more friends and family you have the more happy you are however if because you invite people there will be idol chatter there will be lashon hara it will be time wasted it's better to have less people and avoid gossip similarly if you're worried for the virus and because of that you would rather eat a meal alone that is perfectly fine you do not have to endanger your health to invite guests for your meal um now the last la the last topic for today is the costumes and masks there is a cost custom to wear masks and costumes on purim some say that that should only be done by children adults should not wear costumes because adults are supposed to wear shabbat clothing holiday clothing on purim so which means whatever clothing you usually wear on shabbat that's the clothing you should wear on purim but for children if they want they can wear masks and costumes but if an adult wants it is not forbidden to wear costume as long as it's a modest costume and as long as it is proper which means it's not um some kind of character from uh from a non-jewish movie or cartoon it's preferable that it should be either a character from megillah or a character from jewish history or some kind of animal um or an object but it should not be something from non-jewish culture because after all putim is a jewish holiday it's not halloween it's not any other non-jewish holiday and therefore people should dress on purim with jewish spirit in mind an additional prohibition is for a man to appear like a woman or for a woman to appear like man therefore a man should not dress up like a woman and a woman should not dress up like a man okay and and um just briefly what does putin represent as we said on putim we are happy and we make others happy that means uh putim is a time of unity for the jewish people on purim we share our resources we share our time and we we we try to make new friends and to to fix relationships through our gifts and through having a a meal together um put him is a good time to pray put him we say that just like we give charity we give gifts so to hashem gives out gifts even to those who don't deserve therefore a person should spend a lot of time on purim speaking to hashem asking him for everything you need prayers on purim are more powerful someone is asking whether wearing costumes that have jewish spirit is a halacha and yes this is um in all our behavior we're not supposed to copy gentiles we're not supposed to celebrate their culture as hard as it may be that's the halacha but of course even among um gentiles there are some characters that are more noble than others so if you are choosing a gentile character at least choose someone of uh of a good character someone who is a good hero not a vampire not a terrible person have have say he'll have a common sense and choose something positive uh someone is asking can i give a gift to my wife and the answer is you can certainly give a gift to your wife or husband but you don't fulfill the mitzvah of matanot levine through that you still are required to give to someone outside of your family even for children who want to dress up like a non-jewish character if you can convince them to dress like a jewish character you should do that if they're not listening if they don't want to follow your advice then fine leave them alone next year hope for better if you're making the choice and you already bought the costume and cannot buy another costume okay but for next year try to buy for something better if you can change the costume that it shouldn't be so so bad then do that now somebody's asking a question let me read it if for elderly person can you give packaged oatmeal since it's not cooked again um you have to consider two things number one as long as you're giving one proper mishloch not that's okay it doesn't matter the rest so as long as you gave one mishloch that had two kinds of food that were edible you fulfill your mitzvah now for the other people you can give anything you want okay um so again the idea of putin is the unity of the jewish people friendship happiness celebration another idea of putin is the the fact that when we thought that we are gone that we are going to be annihilated hashem saved us so the message of putin is that god never forgive forgets the jewish people god never abandons the jewish people hashem is always with us and no matter how difficult it is good times will come we have to never give up hope that's the second message of putin now somebody is asking um if if these gifts are per family or per individual these gifts are per individual all three uh are for individuals which means you have to give for every member of your household okay and the final message of putin why are we wearing masks and that is because masks remind us of two things number one masks remind us that hashem's presence is hidden from us by a mask of this physical universe we don't see hashem because he's hiding behind our bodies behind the walls behind the cars behind money hashem is there he's pulling the strings but we cannot see him that's why we put on masks to remind ourselves don't worry what your eyes see don't be scared of anything that you see look beyond the mask and you will know that there is hashem who guides our destiny and the second the second thought that the masks on purim should remind you now that we live in a masked world of corona we have that reminder every day that besides the body that every one of us can see clearly there's something beyond the body and that is our soul and we are reminded that we live not only for our body and the body's needs and desires but also we should not forget the spiritual dimension of life the jewish people in the story of putin they forgot they became comfortable in persia and hashem had to remind them that there is um the soul there is nishama there are spiritual demands on us and we should remember that beyond the mask of this physical world there is the next world that we have to prepare for now at this point if you have other questions you're welcome to ask the next question is a healthcare worker that has to work on the day of putting during date light hours what is the latest during the day to have a holiday meal as long as you have the meal before sunset as long as you listen to the miguel before sunset you fulfill your mitzvah and by the way uh bed gavriel has um mcgill readings at night and during the day on the hour every hour uh at night they have 6 p.m 7 p.m 8 p.m 9 p.m 10 pm 11 pm and 12 a.m and during the day they have every hour even 2 p.m 3 p.m and 4 p.m the last mcgill reading in bit gabriel is 4 45 p.m okay thank you for your questions thank you for listening if you have any questions you can unmute yourself or you can type you can type it in the chat okay and ask a question yes sure um we typically reenact the megillah with the kids and everything i just wanted to know are we allowed to uh play the bad characters like haman and vashti yes if you're doing it to teach children about the story of putin certainly that is okay yes okay thank you okay now one question uh is tahanun said so tomorrow we say and we say special slichod on purim we don't say both tomorrow and on purim we wear to fill in as usual okay any other questions please okay if if there are no questions rabbi i have a question that's sure so you said that if somebody lost their family number then you should not give them a note but what about the kids like uh five years old nine the the the kids are fine uh anyone who is not a mourner even though they're in a family of mourners they can receive gifts and even if let's say unfortunately if it's a child who lost a parent shalom since children are not obligated to mourn only adults are obligated to mourn you're allowed to send gift basket to a child whose parent passed away in the last year if one of the girls is 13 is she obligated in what one of the children is 13. it's a girl is she obligated so fast i mean to like uh not receive michotma not and keep all these rules yes once once a child turns bar or bat mitzvah they have to keep all the laws like adult so they would send islam but they ideally should not receive mishloch and also uh since this family had a tragedy uh obviously the wife used to bring home money and they have medical expenses and all this stuff are they considered poor yes yes they're considered poor she's considered an orphan and we have a special mitzvah to help orphans and and anyone who is in need so a person who cannot work themselves for example they're sick they're considered poor a person who lost a breadwinner they're considered poor yes thank you very much you're welcome another question if you are nursing you don't have to fast anyone who is a mother that gave birth in the last two years in the last months whether you're nursing or not you don't have to fast so if you had the baby in the last two years you don't have to fast if a lady is pregnant she doesn't have to fast okay thank you for your questions uh everyone should have an easy fast everyone should have an inspirational pudding happy pudding and shabbat shalom all the best you