Rabbi Binyamin Yuhanan - Laws of Yom Kippur

Just a a small idea before I start the halaka. Soon we going to go through yonipur. And yonipur reminds us of um preparation that uh kala and katan do before they get married. Just like a kala purifies herself and the katan gets himself a new talit, a new hat. They learn about each other. So do we, the Jewish nation. We purify ourselves. Hashem forgives us for everything we've done. We go to the mikvah. There is a custom to to immerse in the mikvah for both men and women without braha. And uh we're getting ready for for the wedding for the ceremony for the hoopa. And the hupah is sukkot the sukkot. We go into the suka. That's the hupa our private room with hashem. And uh that's where we become hashem's unique nation. And it's a very good idea, very inspirational to go to a suka alone without anybody there and to to speak to Hashem. The holiday of Sukkot is is the the my favorite holiday for that reason that I can go to Sukkai and speak to Hashem. Nobody's there and only I'm an on Hashem the clouds of glory and I can I feel that I'm just like I remember I was standing under the kupa with my wife I'm standing there with Hashem so yonipur is not a sad day it's a very happy occasion some have custom to fast on their wedding day by safarum usually it's not the custom but there is such a custom to to fast not to eat the whole day until the kupa and that's what we do also on yum kipur we fast the whole day and when you go to suka alone without big commotion without friends just you yourself I'm sure you'll be inspired also now um we've heard a lot of words of inspiration about about yum kipur but many people uh have asked me but how do we actually do it what What do we need to do to have a good yum kipur? So first of all now we're in seven days of tishua what what is really 10 days of tishuva but two of them are shah and one of them is yum kipur so that leaves us with seven days 7 days is one week and our sages say that uh this these seven days correspond to each day of the week of the past year which means we now have opportunity by leaving correctly each day of these seven days to fix retroactively all the days of the year, which means yesterday was Wednesday. Whoever knew about this and and uh did good things yesterday fixed all the Wednesdays. Today is Thursday. So, we're in a good place. Thursday is good. Now, tomorrow is Friday. How we prepare for Shabbat? You know, not rushing, right? Running into Shabbat, not ready. Prepare a little earlier. So, you're going to fix all the Fridays of the year. And of course, Shabbat comes. This is the first Shabbat of the new year, but at the same time, it uh you have opportunity to fix all the Shabbats of the previous year. So, if you didn't have opportunity before, you're not ready, now is a good time to start to actually uh with one Shabbat. uh you it's going to count as 50 Shabbat and then you're going to have the first um you know the Sunday that's going to fix Monday and Tuesday and then it's going to come yum kipur and you're going to be ready because you fixed all the days these are the seven days between Rosh Sha and Yum Kipur very important days now we know that um before Yum Kipur we ask forgiveness from people we might have hurt Um, a lot of people ask me forgiveness that I know they didn't hurt me. But people who really did hurt me, they don't ask me forgiveness. And I know that's true with a lot of people. It's much easier to apologize to somebody who you didn't hurt. But somebody you you hurt, you feel uncomfortable. They feel uncomfortable. You're you're embarrassed. But really, that's what we have to do. We don't have to apologize to somebody who we didn't hurt, somebody who's not upset at us. We have to apologize to somebody that we did hurt. And the first priority of course is our parents because we know that uh raising a child is not easy and children often don't like parents telling them what to do and they rebel. And uh when we grow up and we realize that really our parents had our you know best interests in mind we have the knowledge and the strength to go to them and to say you know I I am sorry I'm a I apologize for all the pain and bad words and the actions that I did against you and the closer the person to you the more there is um chance that you hurt each other and the more there is responsibility to apologize. is so you shouldn't first go to distant people and send text message to you know 100 people forgive me doesn't help this is just a waste of time but you should go individually to starting from closest and then going to more distant people and uh apologizing to them now if you didn't have a chance to apologize or people didn't have to chance to apologize to you we have a solution for that also and that is before we start yum kipur prayers. There's a short prayer that uh in which you say that I forgive everybody who hurt me and since everybody says that hopefully everybody says that then everybody's going to forgive you also. But again this is um uh if you forgive others then there's more chance that they're going to forgive you. that. So make sure if you can ask forgiveness, ask and make sure you say that prayer that you forgive everybody else. Whether they ask forgiveness or not, you forgive them. And the way we treat people, that's how Hashem treats us. That if we are willing to forgo on our honor, our hurt, and we forgive people, Hashem is going to say, "I'm going to do the same. I'm going to forgive you for whatever you've done against me, and we're going to become friends again." Now um once once Yum Kipur starts we have um six six um areas where we can we have to abstain six prohibitions. One of them is of course uh not eating. We cannot eat anything from few minutes before Yom Kipur until few minutes I mean um until you hear the the chauffar at the end of Yamipur. Um, if a person is sick, he has to speak to his doctor to find out how seriously he is sick and then speak to the rabbi to find out that there is this danger to his health, to his life and the rabbi will tell him how he should eat uh and drink. Second prohibition is that we're not allowed to drink, not allowed to drink any uh liquid. Um also because it's such a serious day, we don't even uh rinse our mouth with water. If necessary, one is allowed to rinse his mouth with mouth wash. But uh afterwards, he cannot uh rinse it with water. Um again, if person is sick and he needs to drink, speak to a rabbi. He'll tell you exactly in your situation how you can do that. Uh the third the third rule is that we're not allowed to wear leather shoes. And the leather only applies to shoes. You can wear anything else that is made from leather. Leather belts, leather keepa, leather, whatever else you have. Uh only shoes you're not allowed to wear. Even if a shoe has only part that is from leather, still not allowed to wear it. uh in the recent years they've you know come up with a lot of comfortable shoes uh Crocs and others that uh that are comfortable but at the same time they're not leather. So that those are good choice. The the fourth area is that we're not allowed to apply ointment uh cream u again this is only if it's for pleasure. If a person has medical condition and he needs to apply something again, you know, speak to a rabbi and and you would be permitted. Uh the fifth one, for those who are married, you're not allowed to have marital relations. And the sixth one is that yum kipur is like Shabbat and therefore we're not allowed to do mela just like on Shabbat. And yum kipur is not like a yumtov where you're allowed to cook. It's like a full Shabbat that uh not allowed to uh use fire, not allowed to cook and even if uh you have children, you you you're allowed to feed children, but you have to prepare food for them beforehand. They cannot um use fire on yum kipur. Uh when we light candles before yum kipur, just like we light before Shabbat, you have to make a braha. But the braha is different than on Shabbat. Uh and different than on yto. On Shabbat, we say Shabbat. onto we say but on we say now there is a second that a woman should make if she's not going to a synagogue and that is if a woman is going to synagogue then she's going to hear the theu from the kazan so she shouldn't make on candles but if she's praying to stay home then she should make but the problem is as soon as you say you have accepted upon yourself yum kipur and you're not allowed to light the candle anymore according to the safari customs that we say first on the candle and only then we light that presents a problem so what we have to do is we say the we light the candle and only then when we're finished then we say the bra of um also On yum kipur unlike tishab we are allowed to smell spices or flowers and we make a braha on it if it's a kind of spice that requires a braha. Um now the the the day before Yam Kipur there's a a mitzvah to eat a lot to eat a lot and uh it says that someone who eats a lot on that day it's counted as if he fasted for two days and um there are a few reasons for this one is by eating so much you're showing that you're so happy that Hashem is going to uh forgive you and you trust that Hashem is going to forgive you that uh you're already celebrating. Let's say that's the that's the reason for now. Um so when we when we eat a lot since we cannot eat on yum kipur itself to celebrate so we eat the day before and um therefore if a person is accustomed to having let's say three meals a day he should try having six meals a day and um oh um yes Rabbi Craft added that uh that on Yum Kipur uh just like you know we don't wash ourselves and in the morning when you have to wash your hands you just wash till your knuckles knuckles uh and if you go to the bathroom the same thing um now um as as on any fast but yum kipur is a more more import you know it's a more serious one uh you have to look in advance and and and try to prevent mistakes from happening. Mistakes in uh let's say lighting turning on lights so you cover the the light switches and also drinking and eating. Sometimes a person is used to having u food around and he without thinking might put something in his mouth. He might see a bottle of water and open and start drinking. So before yum kipur starts just plan ahead maybe put away food and uh few necessary maybe write yum kipur in the kitchen and in in places where where you eat. Um also in the day before yum kipur there's a custom to make that is analment of vows. Um and there is a custom to make to do kaparot. Yeah. Caparot is usually there are two customs. Either you do it with money or you do it with chickens. If you do it with chickens, uh you take a female for female and a rooster for a male. Um and you bring it to a shed after you you swing it around your head and you say that this should be instead of me. Uh and the shed shafts it. And then there are two ways you can do. either you give the chicken to poor people and they benefit from it or you eat the chicken and you give the money that it's worth to poor people. Now uh according to some it's better to give money to poor people. First of all you don't want to bother them with so many chickens that need uh cleaning and salting and cooking so much uh headache. I remember one time uh someone asked me to shift for them. I I I was shaded. So and then they asked me also to clean it for them and you know for like 7 hours I was sitting and and uh cleaning the chickens before you but that's not what something you want person to do. So take care of your chickens yourself and give give the poor person money. Um now the the custom the second custom is with money and the money is much easier. You just um turn it around your head. You say this is instead of me and you give it to poor people. That's it. So you should have meaningful fast. Um and we should all have connection to Hashem on Yum Kipur and on Sukkot. And um this this inspiration that we get from Yom Kipur and Sukkot should should stay with us the whole year. Should feel Hashem's closeness and we should really feel that we're his wife. He's our husband and we very close to him the entire year. Amen. [Applause]