Rabbi Binyamin Yuhanan Parshat VaYetze 2

first of all and the younger one and your daughter I don't want you to bring me someone else's daughter I don't want you to bring me the older one I want Rael she's the younger one and your daughter and Yakov offers him to work for seven years usually the the father of daughters he needs to convince the young man to take his daughter he gives the dowy camels sheep money just to find a good Jewish boy for his daughter and here's the opposite Yakov is paying money unheard of and not only that seven years of work seven years who would ever do such a thing to get married and yakob is already 77 years years old what is he waiting for and the answer is Yakov knows that something great is about to happen he is about to become the father of the 12 tribes and for that he needs the right wife and he sees that this is the one destined uh to him now somebody is asking where did I get that he was 77 years old and um the calculation we made at the beginning that uh he was um 63 when he received the blessings right after the blessings he had to run away he spent 14 years in Yeshiva of Shem and ever so now he's 77 years old how do we know that he spent s years in yes in 14 sorry 14 years in the Yeshiva of Shem and ever because uh if we take all the events of yacob's life from his birth till his death and we do the calculation there are 14 years that are missing in the narrative and the midash comes and fills in the details that yob was learning he left the world he didn't participate in the world he was hidden for 14 years so they're missing from him his lifespan so because Yakov recognizes that he found his um um soulmate so he says I have to get her and I have to pay any money and be willing to do everything possible that is necessary to gain her marriage and therefore yakob is not taking any chances he already after a month sees what kind of person Lavan is and he's cheap and and uh tricky so he says I'm going to make him an offer that he cannot refuse and in fact Lavan accepts the offer but he pretends that it's not a big deal he says in verse 19 Lavan said it's better that I give her to you than to give her to another man okay you know you're not the best but fine good enough remain with me and Lavan doesn't trust Yakov he says first work for me seven years so Yakov worked seven years for Rael but they seemed to him a few days because of his love for her because he recognized her greatness and he recognized that she is his true wife he was with willing to do everything necessary that's how we should view whatever we need to do if I'm doing the right thing it doesn't matter how long it takes if I'm doing what I'm not supposed to be doing I should try to run away from it as fast as I'm possible but if what I'm doing is good for example I'm learning Torah I shouldn't look at my watch I should be so happy that eight hours of learning should look like a few minutes if I'm praying it shouldn't be a burden I should feel that the entire hour hour and a half prayer was just like a few minutes and I enjoyed it so much that I didn't notice how it passed and that's a a barometer that's a a way to test your level of connection to Hashem does it seem like a burden or not if you love somebody and you know it's the right thing you're not going to notice how the time flies and verse 21 7 years passed now yakob is 84 years old and yob says to Lavan give me my wife for my term is fulfilled I kept my promise now you keep your promise verse 22 Lavan gathered all the people and made a feast and he took Leia and brought her to Yakov at night and yov lived with Leah and to uh pretend that this is Rael he Lavan gave her Zila his maid servant a maid servant to L his daughter Zila was the younger one so Yakov saw Zila the maid servant Leia's face was covered and he assumed that this maid servant is rael's maid servant so he assumed that this is RA so he didn't even check and it was in the morning and behold It was Leah and he said to laan why have you deceived me now we turn to page 153 and Lavan doesn't accept the blame he says we don't do such things in our place where do you think you came to we don't allow a younger daughter to get married before the older one so he's blaming yakob for even considering such a thing and he says complete the week of Celebration with with this wife and we will give you the other one too for the work which you will perform for me yet another seven years he tricks him and now he forces him if you really want what you wanted in the first place you have to work for me another seven years so he didn't complain because we have to always keep the goal in mind if Yakov would fight he wouldn't get married so yov said I'm not going to fight I'm not going to make a big deal out of it because my goal is not to prove that I'm right my goal is to get married to the right wife and the right wife for me is my beloved ra so he kept quiet and he said fine he completed the week of Celebration with Leia then he got married to Rael and he worked for another seven years for uh Lavan however during those seven years he was already married so most of his children were born at that time um now after additional seven years yakob is going to be 91 years old but Yakov got married when he was 84 and now we learn about yakov's children Hashem in verse 31 Hashem saw that Leia was unloved doesn't mean that Leia was unloved it just means that in comparison to Rael who he loved more Yakov loved Leah at the Dr less but for a wife that is a big um trouble and she suffered a lot Leia suffered from the fact that yakob loved her a drop less than than ra and as a reward for going through such suffering Hashem opened her womb but Rael remained Barren from here we learn that initially both Rael and Leah was supposed to be Barren were supposed to be sterile and it's only because of suffering that Leia underwent Hashem replaced one suffering with another Hashem said originally Leia had to go through the suffering of childlessness but because she suffered from the fact that her husband doesn't like doesn't love her as much she doesn't need need the other suffering anymore so Hashem gave her a child right away and ra remained Barren as was the original plan Leah conceived and gave birth to ruen ruen means see my son which what she meant was that look at my son and you will uh see the difference between my son ruven who is my firstborn and my father-in-law's first son y's first son asav who um was born first but he fought even though he sold his the right of firstborn he was dishonest and he still fought for it and he still complained that it was taken away from him uh illegally whereas when when ruen lost the firstborn right and ysf took o took over ruen didn't complain the opposite ruen went and saved um ysep protected him then she gave birth to a second son and she she called him Shimon Shimon comes from the word to listen comes from the word to see Shimon comes from the word were to listen in both of their names she prayed to Hashem and said May Hashem see my suffering May Hashem hear my suffering she was praying that time will come that Yakov should love her um equal to ra then she gave birth to a third son she called him Lei Lei Le uh means attachment she prayed may may may my husband become attached to me then she gave birth to the fourth son and she called him Yehuda Yehuda has the root of thanks she said now I can thank Hashem for giving me my portion and even more than my portion because she knew that rakov is going to have four wives and uh each wife will give birth to three children to three sons and now she gave birth to the fourth so she says I'm I am obligated to give thanks more than I I um uh for for for not only for each son but now for the fact that I got more than I deserved I have to give special thanks to and then at that time she stopped giving birth in the meantime chapter 30 Rael saw that she had not born children to Yakov and she became jealous of her sister she felt yakob wanted to marry me and Leia was substituted and Yakov loves me I'm his main wife why I can't have children it's as if Leia is taking away my children page 155 so she said to Yakov give me children otherwise I'm dead if I don't have children I'm not going to fulfill my mission in life and uh it's as if I was never born I wasted my life please do something pray to Hashem yob became angry at Rael because it she the way she spoke sounded like it's yakov's fault and he told her am I instead of God who has withheld from you fruit of the womb I can have children you see I have children with Leia that means the problem is with you so why are you blaming me it's not my fault and our sages say that Yakov spoke with with a little bit of insensitivity to uh Rael yes Rael asked blamed him and yes it's true it's not yakov's fault but when somebody is suffering when somebody is in pain we have to be patient with them and we have to understand that they are not themselves and uh we cannot become angry at them and we cannot say it's your fault shalom now Rael comes up with a plan she said here's my maid bilha let her become your wife and let her have a child and in a merit that I shared my husband with another for the purpose of having children which means I want my husband to have children and I'm not going to stand on principle and say I'm going to be the wife and no one else I'm giving you another wife secondly there was a siga that if a woman who cannot have children sits right next to the woman that is giving birth it may change her mazal and she will have children so she used the double suula giving the wife a second wife to her husband and sitting next to um a woman that is giving birth and bilha gave birth to Dan and bilha gave birth to a second son naali and then Leia who in the meantime stopped giving birth she said I want to have more children so she decided to give her maid servant as the fourth wife to yakob Leia saw that she had stopped giving birth and she took zilpa and gave her to Yakov as a wife zilpa gave birth to God and she gave birth to AER now as an aside Torah tells us that Ruan one day was uh walking in a field and he found a special plant duim and this special plant dudaim had a certain ability to help a woman to conceive so ruven was happy that he found D cuz he knew that his mother Leia wants to have more children so he presented the D to Leia and Leia was very happy because she was hoping that this D will help her to have a child but all of a sudden Rael said to Le please give me some of your sons D Rael didn't say give me all of them she said give me some but Leia got upset at Rael she said to her was you're taking my husband insignificant now you want to take my D which means not only my husband loves you more and I'm suffering here now you also want to take my children that you want to from now on have children and you want me not to have children so raal tried to appease Leia and she said we're now on page 157 therefore he shall lie with you tonight in return for your sons Zim fine don't be upset you're accusing me that I took away your husband even though he's my husband but fine even though we have designated nights to spend with the husband but I will forgo my night and I will allow you to be with him tonight as a thank you for um D even though uh it might help me to to have children and not you thank you for giving it to me now somebody's asking question was it right of Leah to compete with ra for having more children by also giving her made servant to yob she just expressed her gra for having more kids than she was supposed to and now she's saying it's not enough I want more that's a good question so a potential answer could be that since she saw that Rael is Barren and yakob is destined to have 12 children and so far that he only had six four from Leia and two from uh bilha so Le says yob is waiting to have six more children where are they coming from so if no choice so Leah said let me take initiative she gave her maid servant her maid servant gave birth to two more boys that's eight the but mean that means four more children are supposed to be born and in the meantime nobody's giving birth so Leia wants to have children herself so she's happy to eat some of this D and ra is taking it away yes Leia also was a little bit insensitive but our sages surprisingly here find fault with Rael because she had opportunity to be close to her husband and when you have opportunity to uh be close to righteous person the greatest in the generation and you forgo that opportunity that's not good so the fact that Rael gave up her husband she uh lost twice number one it's Leia who got pregnant right now from this night instead of Rael and number two Rael lost her opportunity to to be buried in the same uh grave as yakob instead Leia will be buried with Yakov Andel will be buried in a different city so Yakov spent that night uh with Leia and Leia conceived and gave birth to Yar and then Leia conceived again and she gave bir birth to zun and then she conceived again she gave birth to a daughter Dina so Leah had six boys and one girl and now finally verse 22 God remembered Rael and he listened to her and he opened her womb she conceived and bore a son and she called him YF YF is a prayer may Hashem give me another son ra knows that there are only two more Sons your is one and one more son and she's hoping May that son come from me at that moment verse 25 yob wants to leave he already worked for Lavan 14 years and yov said to Lavan grant me leave give me my wives and children what did ra do yeah it's a good question um her time of suffering finished and and uh we say that when time comes things happen quickly miraculously we have to be patient if something doesn't go our way we just have to be patient when the time comes everything will happen smoothly now we're on page 159 yako wants to leave and that's not something Lavan wants to allow because Lavan is so successful because of Yakov Yakov is such a good worker not only that he has maal and he brings blessings all all around him Lavan said to him Hashem has blessed me on account of you so please don't leave verse 28 specify your wage to me and I will give it and yakob said in verse 31 don't give me anything I don't want anything from you I know that whatever you promise you don't give rather I want reward for my work from Hashem I will resume pasturing and guarding your flocks if after you remove all spotted and colored sheep from the flock take it far away I will only take care of the white sheep and from now on if miraculously unexpectedly white sheep will give birth to brownish spotted or speckled babies that will be my wage which means he made condition that laan for sure will jump on that after separating all colored spotted speckled animals you just leave white females and white males and you expect something else Lavan said for sure that's the best best deal yes let's do that and Lavan was hoping that all the The Offspring is going to be white so we turn to page um 161 yakob here was inspired by Hashem and he figured out how to change the genetics of animals he set up rods which he peeled peeled in a ronals the watering uh troughs facing the flock and when they came to drink and they saw the the rods and they became stimulated and they mated verse 39 then the flock became stimulated by the rods and the flock gave birth to ringed one ones speckled ones and spotted ones cabalistic yakob figured out that if you do this procedure the animals that will give birth to colorful spotted and speckled babies verse 43 The Man yakob became exceedingly prosperous and he attained abundant flocks made servants and male servants camels and donkeys but of course when Jewish people become rich they arouse jealousy he heard chapter 31 he heard lavan's son saying yakob had taken all that belong to our father why is yob becoming rich must be he stealing verse three Hashem said to yob return to the land of your fathers time came Yakov summoned ra and Leah and he had a meeting with them in a field and he explained to them that their father was lying and cheating and now their brothers are uh accusing him of stealing uh now somebody's asking did Yakov know the concepts of genetics it seems from here that no this was purely miraculous because if he knew the concept of genetics he would not separate all the spotted speckled and colored sheep because um he decreases his chances um and in fact our sages explained that this was not a physical um um manipulation this was a a spiritual feat our sages say that at the moment when Yakov set up these uh peeled in rings rods in front of the sheep he was achieving the same spiritual effect as a Jewish man now does when he puts on T imagine that it's a different action but yov saw that he can change the spiritual World by that and somehow he also saw that it will affect the um the the children now he asked his wife's advice and permission should we leave your father and on page 16 3:14 ra and Le replied for sure our father mistreats us as well and they said whatever God has said to you do verse 17 Yakov so by the way Yakov worked for Lavan during this period for six years so that means yakob is now 97 years old Yakov arose and lifted his children and wives onto camels he led away his all his livestock and all the wealth to go to his father yak and Rael stole theim the idols that laan used page 165 U Lavan pursues Yakov and in one day he runs the distance of seven days and he catches up on Mount gilad however since he catches up in the evening he decides to sleep on that mountain cuz he knows is not going anywhere at night and at night God comes to Lavan in a dream and he tells him beware lest you speak with Yakov either good or bad Hashem warns him not to speak to Yakov not good not bad so the morning came Lavan overtook yov and Lavan said to yov you have deceived me and led my daughters away like captives By The Sword and cheated me you have acted foolishly now verse 31 Yakov answered because I was afraid I thought perhaps you might steal your daughters from me I know your nature I can't tell you what I'm doing now Lavan accused Yakov of stealing his his idols so Yakov said search if you find your Idols take them and whoever stole he should die and yov didn't know that Rael stole them and because of this inadvertent statement Rael died young Lavan searched the entire Camp all the tents and he found nothing now we're on page 167 verse 36 then yakob became angered and he took up his grievance with lava and he mentioned all the times that Lavan tricked him cheated him even though Yakov provided so much blessing so much material uh bounty to to Lavan and Lavan was not grateful INR verse 43 Lavan spoke up and said and look at the way Lavan talks arrogantly the daughters are my daughters children are my children and the flock is my flock and all you see is mine Lavan is going crazy he's claiming that yakov's children are his children that whatever Yakov earned honestly