Rabbi Binyamin Yuhanan - Step into the Shabbat Home Part 2

[Music] welcome to the second class in the eight part series last week we had the introduction where we spoke about the importance of Shabbat and we covered lighting candles and preparation for Shabbat arif Shabbat today I would like to mention a few more details about candle lighting and a few more details about preparation for Shabbat and then we will cover the Shabbat kaduche and the Shabbat meal so as we may have experienced it ourselves Arif Shabbat Friday afternoon is a difficult time for a Jewish family many arguments a lot of stress happened exactly at that time fights unfortunately between husband wife children parents and children happen on-air of Shabbat and why is that ha ha Meem say that this is because the very first fight happened on Arif Shabbat and what was that this is the fight between the satin and Adam and hava when did satin come to test hava it was on Friday afternoon that is when Satan was successful in convincing hava to eat from the tree and that is why Satan comes again every Friday afternoon because he knows when something very important is about to happen when Jewish people are about to do a great Mitzvah satin comes and tries to stop them just like if Adam Rishon and hava would wait until Shabbat started then they would have fulfilled their mission and they would have eternal the word forever in Canada and Sutton knows that if he may he causes us to fight we're going to come into Shabbat upset we're not going to enjoy Shabbat and each other's company and then he will have succeeded so it's important to know that and plan what to do to not let Satan win and to do that you have to try to prepare as as much as possible before afternoon so that in afternoon when the kids come from home from school when the husband comes from work you don't have to run around to prepare for Shabbat plus take care of their needs and take care of their fighting also it's important to have a good night's sleep Thursday night or at least take a nap on Friday afternoon so that when Shabbat comes you arrested or in the last couple hours before Shabbat when there is a lot of running around and stress you have the energy and and the patience it's very important not to get angry ever but especially on Friday afternoon and Shabbat it's important to think about Shabbat the entire week from Sunday and until Friday this way you honor Shabbat not only on Shabbat but you honors about the entire week how do you think about about the whole week for example you go to a store and you see something nice you think about Shabbat oh that would be nice to have it for Shabbat meal of a dessert and whenever you do any action during the week for Shabbat you say like a watch about the watch about Kodesh in honor of Shabbat so if you're doing shopping you say I'm doing shopping in honor of Shabbat your bacon you say I'm baking in honor of Shabbat many have said that when you say that food and shopping and everything else comes out that the yes all the spending that you spend on Shabbat and yom tov and educating your children hashem pays back right it doesn't get subtracted from your personal account that's true for men in prayer at the end of prayer we say a special to helium for that day of the week and before saying that to helium we say today is first day before Shabbat second day before Shabbat and so on until Friday we say today is Friday the sixth day before Shabbat and therefore we remind ourselves of Shabbat every day if women pray and they say that particularly minded but for example you do laundry for clothing for Shabbat you say I'm doing it for Shabbat you bring your clothing to the dry cleaners it's important also if you need to cut your nails if you need to take a haircut you should do it before Shabbat don't say or on Sunday I'm gonna have time I'm gonna do my manicure I'm gonna do my haircut I'm gonna do whatever I need to do on Sunday no do it on Friday so that it's in honor of Shabbat it's important to come to Shabbat while being well-dressed and well-groomed and it's also important to do that before candle lighting which means for a woman before she lights candles she should already take shower she should already get dressed in Shabbat clothing if possible and she should already if she prays me in class she should already pray the afternoon prayer because once she glides candle for her Shabbat so is Shabbat is the next day so she cannot pray the prayer for the day that just passed for a man it's different since we said that man doesn't accept Shabbat when he lights a can't light candles therefore man can be present when the wife lights candles or if the wife is busy he can light candles and then he can go to the synagogue and pray mean huh if if somebody is not able to take a shower for medical reasons or they were in such a rush that they it's too close to sunset that they cannot take a shower at least they should wash their feet hands and face and additionally any other part of the body that's not clean it's important to have clothing that is special for Shabbat clothing that you only wear Shabbat and special occasions yom tov wedding however shoes you don't have to have special for Shabbat because by shoes it's important to have comfortable shoes eh even if you buy new shoes you shouldn't wear them on Shabbat for the first time because if they're not comfortable yet you're gonna suffer on Shabbat and therefore you're allowed to wear your wig the issues on Shabbat but if possible just clean them shine them for cleanliness when we say you have to take a shower or wash parts of your body for Shabbat we mean cleanliness Nutella tea a dime is before we eat bread now in addition to preparing for Shabbat with our own strength it's also important to ask Hashem for help we clean we cook with laundry but we forget sometimes to ask Hashem for help and not only for Shabbat but every time you are about to do something why not ask for help to make your job easier often we try and doesn't go we try again doesn't go we get frustrated and if we're lucky then we remember Hashem and then we say oh gosh I'm I forgot you can help me please help me and then everything goes smoothly so before you prepare for Shabbat ask Hashem for help because you're in preparing for Shabbat you're serving Hashem and therefore say Hashem please help me in preparation please make the food come out tasty please help that there should be peace in the house that everybody should be happy and by the way time of candle lighting is is a very opportune time for prayer prayers I accepted at that time and therefore it's important for a woman to stop whatever she is doing after she lights candles spend some time next to the candles pray for herself for her children for her husband yes we covered it last week that that for safar him only married women light with the blessing and only one set of candles per household so a single girl if she lives by her parents she should not like anything if she really wants she can light one candle but without blessing if a single girl lives by herself then she needs to white with a blessing yes [Music] yes yes just like if the woman of the household cannot light her husband lights and if the husband is not there or there is no husband so then a child can light so somebody must light whether it's the wife the husband or the children and they if they light with a blessing just like a woman should be ready for Shabbat after shower and rest so - the house has to be ready ideally everything has to be cleaned and the table has to be set and even the bread the challah should be on the table the best place to light candles is in the dining room the place where you eat however what if you are at a hotel where you don't eat in your room you eat like a Sabaton you eat in a dining room so for safari if the only place to light is in a dining room you can light but you cannot say a blessing because there are many people and we said that there should be only one set of candles in any room and therefore you should light without a blessing or if there is opportunity to light in the room but not candles because usually hotels don't allow rather a flashlight you should do that now if the flashlight is LED you just light it but without a blessing if the flashlight is the old-style bulbs with a spice spiral that that heats up then you can light with a blessing right we mentioned that if you don't have a flashlight and the lights are all LED or fluorescent then you just keep in mind I'm not going to be able to light candles for Shabbat with a blessing because in the dining room many people are lighting and over here I don't have white bulb with a spiral so at least keep in your mind I'm like I'm turning on the light in the bathroom to fulfill the mitzvot of having light in the house on Shabbat so through that you fulfill your Mitzvah of lighting candles you can do it anywhere I'm saying in a hotel room in a hotel room where you don't want to light in you keep the light on in your bedroom so the only possibility is in the bathroom in your house if let's say for some reason you cannot like candles you can do the same in the house with electric lights if you have spiral lights the old style then you can even make a blessing LED lights you light you turn the switch on but without blessings next very important to remember that if the Sun already said you cannot light as important as it is to light candles on Shabbat but if it's already after sunset Shabbat is more important than candlelight so therefore if somebody came late or somebody didn't get ready in time don't worry don't light candles and to repeat the important halacha from last week if there is somebody in the house who did not yet accept Shabbat you can ask them to do for you whatever you need if it's before sunset you accepted Shabbat but somebody in the house didn't yet or a neighbor you can ask them to help you with no restrictions you don't have to hint you can just tell them open it now we are going to the next topic and that is maken-ki douche on Friday night there is a mitzvah to sanctify Shabbat with words so men do it in prayer in prayer in a synagogue women that pray they also do it in Kabbalat Shabbat and arvid evening prayer on a simple level even saying shabbat shalom already fulfills this mitzvot of sanctifying Shabbat you're already declaring that right now it's a different day than a weekday and therefore some have a custom that even when they meet not religious Jews they still say shabbat shalom to them because if they will answer shabbat shalom back they just did a mitzvah of sanctifying Shabbat they acknowledge that they're suggesting Shabbat and now is special that's another reason for the custom of greeting everyone with shabbat shalom however the sages instituted that in addition to sanctifying Shabbat with words we have to sanctify Shabbat with a cup of wine and therefore when when men come home from the synagogue before eating we have to make kaduche now what if there are no men in the house the women need to make a douche yes women also have to make a douche what if the husband is not home he's away so then the wife has to make a douche if the there are boys that are over Bar Mitzvah they can make you douche but it really doesn't matter because both men and women are obligated to here participate in Kadosh a child younger than Bar Mitzvah he should not be the one making kaduche for others but in cases where let's say an adult doesn't know how to read doesn't know what words to say so then the child can say the words out loud an adult should just repeat after them boy under bar mitzva over Berman says if parents are don't mind that's fine yes if the husband wants to give the honor to his wife to make a douche that's also possible before we start kaduche we we should have the table set we have bread already on the table covered and we have two loaves of bread and only then we make a douche now for kaduche it's important number one that what you making kaduche on is either grape juice or wine it cannot be any other drink and it's important that the majority of the content is actually grape juice or wine if it's diluted and some wines especially light ones low alcohol they are diluted with water and therefore you have to just make sure which wines are okay with grape juices are okay in general all Kadim grape juices are good whether they're glass or plastic sometimes you have Manischewitz wine or other wines that are not from grapes apple wine plum wine or apricot wine whatever the wine is cherry wine even though it says wine but we don't say very Priya Geffen blessing on it rather we say AHA Cole and we cannot make you douche on it so just make sure that what you make in kaduche is grape juice or wine and number two the cup that you're making kaduche has to have number one has to contain three ounces which means it cannot be one of those tiny little cups that some people use those little tiny cups that are less than 3 ounces cannot be used not for kaduche Friday night and not for the four cups of Pesa right therefore check if it's three ounces that's good if it's less than three ounces you can use them during the meal but you cannot make a douche with them there are different ways how to hold it the general Sephardic custom is to hold key douche either like this or like this some people hold it like this and if it's hard for you any one of these ways even like this is also okay but again the ideal way according to Kabbalah is with fingers around the cup either under or a little bit or completely Kabbalah yes we're not going there this is a simple class now this is a good question for half dollar we're going to learn about it next you have to fill up the cup to the point that a little bit spills for any other times of the year you don't have to fill up the cup so that it spills but you should fill it up so much that it should be full but it shouldn't spill if since there is no obligation that it should spill first of all it makes your hands dirty and second of all it wastes wine and therefore you shouldn't do that but for half dollar you need that it should spill a little bit and remember we said last class that there is a difference between Arab Shabbat and Malaysia but just like Arab Shabbat we like to separate candles and on matzah Shabbat we light one candle that is intertwined to show that when we enter Shabbat we may be separate but when we live through Shabbat we unite so two before Shabbat by kaduche we don't make the cup spill but after Shabbat the cup spills over to show the bounty to show the Braja that we received from keeping Shabbat yes anytime we make a blessing for a mitzvah on wine we need three ounces whether it is pestle whether it is Shabbat Ianto of wedding but it Mila we always need a cup minimum three ounces and the cup should be complete which means it shouldn't have cracks in it it shouldn't have chips pieces missing if it has a dent it's okay and ideal it should not be a disposable cup if you have no choice you can use a disposable cup but ideally it should be either silver or any other metal or glass porcelain anything honorable your plate is fine just the cup should have the rim that is complete and it shouldn't have any cracks any holes in it the person who makes kaduche we usually have only one person making kaduche and therefore the person who is making kaduche should keep everyone in mind and everyone else should also keep in mind to fulfill the mitzvot the commandment of making Kadosh and therefore the person who is making kaduche should be knowledgeable he should know how to make it properly because if he doesn't say it correctly then nobody fulfills the mitzvot and she should also know that he needs to keep everyone in mind therefore if you are in a place where you're not sure if the person making kaduche knows what he's doing or you know he's making mistakes let's say he doesn't know he broke he's reading it in Russian or English and he's not reading it correctly so it's a good idea to pour a little bit wine in your own cup and hold the cup in your hand and repeat after them doesn't have to be out loud just to yourself and you say your own Bora Priya Geffen and the entire kaduche and you drink this way you don't embarrass them and at the same time you fulfill the mitzvot it doesn't matter really the pronunciation as long as all the words are there and the words are said correctly and the person keeps you in mind we have a rule that then we are not allowed to eat before kaduche that applies to men and women and even if you're in the kitchen and you're preparing salads and setting the table and you're waiting for your husband and you want to try the salads you cannot try because you didn't make kadosh yet however children under Bar Mitzvah they technically can eat before kaduche and therefore if you have little children you can feed them before kaduche and if you need to try something let your children try and ask them if it tastes good however already from age five six or seven when children already understand what Shabbat is they understand what the Shabbat meal is what Kadosh is it's good to train them not to eat before kaduche if they're very hungry it hurts them then of course you let them eat but if they can wait a little bit tell them to wait when does it start from sunset from the moment of sunset you cannot eat and you can't even drink you can't even drink water this is unlike Havdalah because before Havdalah we also not allowed to eat or drink but we're allowed to drink water if you're thirsty but we you douche you can't even drink water what do you do if you're really thirsty so then you make kaduche you make you douche yourself you don't wait for others now another important rule to keep in mind is that kaduche must be followed directly by the meal itself because we have a rule that kaduche is all is valid only if you eat afterwards if you meet kaduche and then you don't eat afterwards then you didn't fulfill the mid-south collusion you have to repeat the kaduche so therefore as soon as you made kaduche tell everyone to go wash hands for bread and start the meal don't start setting the table don't start having deep sessions if you need to do all of that before kaduche some have the custom to bless their children after kaduche some have the custom to bless them before kaduche and some have the custom to bless them after the meal but again keep in mind that try to minimize the time between kaduche and the meal the the rule is to wash as soon as possible now at the the ideal ideally you wash a you wash as soon as possible but as long as you you are still in the place and you didn't get distracted from the meal you can still wash again but again whatever needs to be prepared prepared before if you need to prepare more things let them wash say the blessing for bread eat a little bit and then prepare even if the table is empty but just wash eat a piece of challah and then prepare the rest we will speak about washing hands separately the laws of washing hands before bread since kaduche has to be followed by a meal it has to be connected it also has to be done at the place of the meal which means you shouldn't make you douche in the kitchen and then have the meal in the dining room you shouldn't make you douche in your friend's house and then come home to eat similarly if if you go to a kaduche in a synagogue on Shabbat after prayers you have to eat there if you would if you want the middle of kaduche to work you can't just hear the kudos ok I fulfilled them it's fine then go home eat kaduche has to be followed by a meal and it has to be followed by the meal at the place of Kadosh what if person forgot to make a douche they just ate without kiddos or somebody was very tired they went for a nap and they woke up in the morning and they didn't make you those Friday night so then in the morning before they eat they have to make the Friday night kaduche we have two kinds of kiddos Friday night kiddos and Saba day kiddos if you forgot Friday night kiddos then for some bad day you make Friday night kiddos and some bad day you don't make then if you missed your first meal then your second meal is your first meal right if you if you missed Friday night meal then yes you you only end up eating two you can of course it's a good idea to eat three meals than during the day on Shabbat we should eat three meals ideally they should all be with bread or at least the Friday night and Shabbat a meal should be with bread should Ashley if a person is not so hungry or for a diet it's okay to eat just some pastries or even if pastries are not an option then at least some fruit or fish or meat now Friday night everyone who is present and and was kept in mind and he and they themselves kept in mind to fulfill the mitzvot fulfills the mitzvot even if they didn't taste the wine ideally everyone should taste the wine to show the their desire to participate in the Mitzvah but if the if it never made to you don't worry just because you heard the kiddo shoe and said I mean that's fine you can already go wash and eat similarly shabbat day in the synagogue if there are many people and somebody made kaduche and you heard you can just make a blessing on food and start eating however if you heard kaduche and and then people started eating and you didn't eat then as we said early you don't fulfill the mitzvot even though you were present there with your friends and your friends ate and you witnessed how they eating but since you didn't eat when you come home you have to make new kaduche it's a good question the question who is after the person who makes kaduche drinks who should he give it to first right similarly after the person who cuts bread and he eats who should he give the next slice to so of course the wife comes first but what if in addition to your family you have your parents or you have your in-laws who should the husband give the first slice of bread or the cup of wine - yes very good so he should give it to the wife you may want to tell it to your parents or your parents in law that this is not to offend anybody this is just the law that the husband and wife are considered like one and therefore the wife gets first and similarly when the wife serves food she brings a play to the dining room who should she give it to first her husband what if her father is there so she should also give it to her husband first and then goes by age or just whoo it doesn't matter just you can either do it by age or you can do it how they is sitting both Shabbat day and Friday night if you didn't try you fulfill the mitzvot ideally we try to drink a little bit after the husband come your parents and your parents-in-law and then the children yes let me speak about that we said that both men and women are obligated to make kaduche and the custom is that usually men make a douche what if you have honorable guests and the husband wants to give the honor of making kaduche to a guest that's permissible for example he has his father or the father-in-law she can give him the honor of making kaduche of course if they know how to do it if they don't but they still want to make it then you should just tell everyone around the table yes let them make the kaduche but we should all say the world's ourselves and that is true for the actual kaduche however one will come to the meal and you have to cut the bread that already the head of the household should do either the husband or the wife that the honor you should not give to the guests and the reason is because the guest doesn't know how much bread you have in the house he might say you know what maybe this is the only loaf they have so I'm gonna cut small pieces and I'm gonna give everybody small pieces and everybody who is gonna be upset why did he give me small piece or the opposite he might say oh I'm gonna show my generosity with someone else's bread and I'm gonna cut large pieces and he's gonna send everybody large pieces and then you have nothing left for your other meals so the the head of the household has to cut the bread because he knows how big of pieces he can cut and he's gonna make sure that everybody gets a nice slice and at the same time to save for other meals yes for sure you can bring additional bread but what we're saying is that since the guest doesn't know do you have any more loaves inside or not and therefore he doesn't know should I be generous or or not the kaduche since kaduche is your will showing that we believe in God we keep Shabbat with sanctifying Shabbat it should be done by somebody who keeps Shabbat and somebody as we said who knows how to do it properly but in order to avoid mass lock it avoid fighting let's say you your father-in-law or your grandfather came and they say I wanna make Kadosh I usually don't make you do this my first opportunity give me this honor and you don't want to hurt their feelings you can let them do it but again let everyone else have some grape juice in their own cup and let them repeat the words after him now we're going to the day in the morning we also need to make you douche however here there is a difference between men and women form an obligation to make a douche before the meal starts when they press a hurried and therefore before they pressure hurry they are allowed to drink they can make coffee they can make tea they can drink water they should not eat because we don't eat before prayer but they can drink however for women if their custom is to pray every morning and Shabbat then they are like men and they can drink before prayer however if they usually don't pray the morning prayer then their obligation to make ado starts as soon as they wake up and therefore before drinking or eating anything they have to make coluche so that's an important skill for a woman to to have because usually by the time the husband comes it's 12 o'clock and for sure she will want to drink or eat something and kaduche for a woman can be done either with wine or grape juice or if she doesn't want to drink grape juice for health reasons because it has too much sugar or wine because of alcohol she can make kiddos fry a Shabbat day on another drink like a cup of milk a cup of juice or even coffee so before you eat breakfast before you drink anything you pour yourself a cup is a grape juice on any other drink and you say a few sentences about Shabbat that are written in a seed or and you say but a player game is AG a friend or charcoal and you drink and after that you can eat whatever you want you don't have to wash as long as you eat something afterwards preferably pastry miss oh no the piece of cake you make the regular body kaduche you drink and then you you make miss Donald you eat and afterwards you can eat anything you want and then when men come back home from school they make you douche again you can listen you can answer man but you fulfilled your obligation already yes you just wash okay an important idea that hopefully you don't have to use so much is that if you don't have wine or grape juice you can make a douche on bread Friday night and Shabbat Day which means you just wash you sit down you pick up the bread you say via hulloa shamayim you say how mozilla min Haaretz and then you say the blessing of Kadosh my kadesha Shabbat and you cut and you eat so if let's say you travel and you forgot to bring with you a bottle of grape juice or wine you can make key juice on bread it's write and sell for a pair gif and you say whichever blessing is appropriate if somebody forgot to make you douche and it's still Friday night they have to stop eating make a douche and then continue eating if you forgot to make you douche before the meal and you started the meal already just pause make you douche and then continue eating now we said that the cup has to have three ounces and you should drink majority of that which means whoever is making kaduche after he says Borrelia Geffen he has to drink majority of three ounces which let's say two ounces and with that everyone present fulfills the Mitzvah of kaduche what if a person is diabetic or he is allergic to wine or grape juice then and nobody else knows how to make you douche then they can designate somebody else to drink and after he is makes the blessing he just drinks a drop and he gives it to the next person and that person drinks two ounces chick who is two ounces about on Shabbat day in in in in the synagogue we said that a meal has to follow the kaduche right Friday night is not an issue because we usually eat a big meal but fried about Shabbat day often people go - kaduche after prayer they hear the kaduche and they have a little bit not low a candy and that's it so in order for it to be considered a meal you have to eat at least a Kasai at least an ounce of pastry preferably or if you don't have pastry or you don't eat pastry you should drink at least 3 ounces of grape juice or wine so again when you go to a kaduche Sabbath day you should eat either an owl in one ounce of cake or three ounces drink three ounces of grape juice with that you fulfill your Mitzvah of coluche and the meal afterwards if you already made kaduche and then another guest comes to you and they don't know how to make you douche you're allowed to make you douche second time for them since kaduche is mitzvah and we have a rule that any Mitzvah that one Jew did not fulfill all Jews are responsible and therefore another Jew can make the blessing for them this is unlike blessings for food since there is no Mitzvah in particular to eat that particular food so you cannot make a blessing on food and not eat it and let someone else eat if you want to make a blessing for somebody you have to eat first and then let them but with kaduche it's not like that with Kadosh if you fulfilled your Mitzvah already but you know somebody who didn't you can make the entire blessing for kaduche for them and they'll drink it you don't even have to drink you can either say the words to teach them or you can say the whole thing yourself they just answer amen and they drink yes we said that a woman is allowed to say kiddo but that is only true if there are no other men present for her own family for her husband for her parents that's okay but if there are other distant relatives or guests that that are strangers it's not considered modest for a woman to make you douche out loud every time we have bread by a meal we said ideally should eat bread by all three meals we should have two loaves and these two loaves can be any size from 1 ounce to large haleh's and therefore if you don't have large loaves you can use small rolls or you can even use pita you can take 2 Peters or you can take one large loaf and 1 pita or if you only have one whole loaf you can even take one matzah and use it together but you should not use 2 masses because for safar deme matzah is mizo not during the year and we can use it as a second loaf because technically if you eat a lot of mats we do treat it like bread but ideally you should have one role or one color and you can use the second law as matzah if you don't have whole loaves then you can use cut bread but ideally both loaves should be complete don't cut them before the meal serve them whole and cut them afterwards yes every meal Friday night Shabbat a ends - - legit you should have two loaves however there is a difference which loaf you cut you have two loaves one Friday night this is more for your husband but explain it to him you put them one on top of another and you cut the lower one Friday night or just a bad day you put them one on top of another and you cut the top one and for Sue - the sheet you put them next to each other one and the other you put them next to each other and you cut the right one yes the friday-night you cut the bottom one Shabbat day you cut the top one and Sue - the you cut the right one no it's a custom according to Kabbalah also it's you should remember that out of the three meals on Shabbat which meal is the most important so the the fry the Shabbat day meal is the most important one Shabbat day yeah and that is the many reasons but what on the basic level when we eat Friday night it's not so noticeable that we eat in honor of Shabbat because we just came from work we're hungry and we eat shabbat day already it's more noticeable that we eat in honor of Shabbat therefore if you have different qualities of food you should serve better quality for Shabbat day if you have larger more honorable loaf of bread you should save it for Shabbat day when the person who makes the blessing on on the challah cuts it and distributes it he must eat first so if he forgot to eat and he's giving everybody nobody can eat until he tries it first and of course the proper thing is as soon as he cuts he should eat right away as soon as the person makes a blessing he has to eat and only then continue cutting and distributing it so yeah to answer the question about the blessing children and the who goes first to wash since we said that the kiddo should be followed immediately by the meal you should make the the space between them as little as possible therefore you can give blessing to your children but as soon as you give one send him to wash and while he's washing Yugi you give blessing to another this way it doesn't take extra time that it doesn't really matter who washes first you can do it by age from youngest to oldest from oldest to youngest men women doesn't matter the custom is that whoever is saying the blessing for bread washes last whoever says the blessing for bread he washes last so that there should be as little time as possible between washing and making the blessing and once we're on this topic let me speak a little bit about washing hands if you are planning to eat two ounces of bread or more you have to wash hands with a blessing all netilat yadaim if you are planning to eat less than two ounces of bread you have to wash your hands without the blessing a little idea done so if you know in advance that you're on the diet and you're planning to eat less than two ounces of bread don't make a blessing on utility damn you still have to wash but without a blessing you can listen to someone else's blessing say Amen yes as long as you eat more than one ounce of bread you fulfill the mitzvot you can still save it at Amazon but you wash without the if you're not sure how much you're gonna eat you can wash with a blessing but if you know in advance I'm not planning to eat more than one little slice of bread then wash without blessing one ounce let's say it's a half of a slice of bread of an average slice half a pound if you want to say bill cut Amazon if you eat one ounce of bread that's enough but to make a blessing for washing hands you need two ounces of bread again if you're not sure how much you're gonna eat you can wash with the blessing anytime not just Shabbat but just to keep in mind because Shabbat sometimes we forget everybody washes everybody says a blessing but then if you said the blessing make sure you're gonna eat two ounces of bread and when we wash for bread we wash three times on the right hand and then three times on the left hand however just to know in case of need I according to basic hahaha if a person pours one time but that one time poor covers the entire hand and it was more than three ounces that you poured that one time is enough so if you don't have so much water let's say you have just this cup of water it's going to be difficult to pour three times than three times it may be better just to pour half a cup on one hand and half a cup on the other hand this way you'll make sure that that hand is actually covered because if you pour three times it's gonna only cover each time part of the hand and then you pour here also just the fingers so it's better to cover the entire hand once with three ounces or more you fulfill your Mitzvah therefore for example Ashkenazi only pour twice we pour three times but again just to keep in mind if you pour it once it's already enough for bread the entire hand means from your wrist down and your palm as well and therefore don't hold your hand flat horizontal bend your fingers a little bit keep them down and turn it sideways so that as you pour water it's going to go on everything and you can move your hand under water to cover the entire hand now after you wash you pause you make the blessing and only then you dry don't say the blessing while you're drying because you have to concentrate on them the blessing after you wash you have to be careful not to touch anyone now here there is a difference if your hands are still wet and you touch somebody who didn't wash yet their hand then you have to wash again without a blessing but if you already dried your hands your hands are dry and then you touched someone you don't have to wash again you wash then before you dry you make a blessing and then you dry your hands again what's the question yes after you wash it's important to go right to the dining room and to eat you should not plan to wash and then go and do things in the kitchen if necessary go do things in the kitchen and be one of the last people to wash if you have to or if you did it already that's okay the important thing to remember is that you have to keep in mind that you just washed and not to touch anything that's that would require you to wash again which means if you scratch your head if you touch your feet if you change your baby you will have to wash again so keep that in mind and go straight from washing to the table yes yes if you watched any kitchen and now you on your way to the dining room yeah by the way you can take anything you want yes yes that's that's not true for this washing after you wash hands for bread and you wipe it on the towel the towel is fine everything is fine there is no to my anymore in the morning when you wash hands and the basin if you washed in the basin and the basin is still there so it's better to remove it or to spill it but you can still make a blessing next to it but the towel that you wipe your hands after washing in the morning is still fine yes okay we're going to stop here with the formal challah hot if you have questions you're welcome to ask yes if you washed and then you forgot and you touched then you wash again without a blessing if you touch a part of your body that is usually covered you scratch your hand you touch shoes you change baby you would have to wash again without the blessing if until you eat the bread now now what if in the middle of the meal you have to go to the bathroom so then after you come out you have to wash your hands make the blessing for the for the bathroom and then you have to wash again for bread without a blessing and what if a person speaks after they washed so ideally you shouldn't speak because it's this it distracts you and then you might forget and touch or scratch and then you have to wash again however if a person does speak he doesn't have to wash again so we limit our conversation but if you do speak you don't have to wash again yes if you don't have wine you make you douche on bread so instead of holding a cup of wine in your hand and making kaduche you hold the bread in your hand after you wash you have your heart you have you hold bread in your hand you say where you who Luis are mine you say Hamid Silla I mean islets and then you say the blessing of kaduche Mecca - a Shabbat and then you cut and you eat know how Kevin because you don't have wine no grape juice any more questions yes the reason why we're not supposed to speak between washing and saying the blessing is not to get distracted and make our hands dirty and then we'll have to wash again because we washing with the blessing once we're making a blessing we have to be careful not to waste that blessing it shouldn't be blessing in vain and so we go straight to the table we eat right away we don't get distracted by activities and by talking but if you do talk you don't have to wash again pouring wine for kaduche doesn't matter only by Pesa we try that someone else should pour for each other because by Pesa who tried to show that we are kings and we don't pour for ourselves friday night if you have that custom yes if a wife is not not needa then she can pour any sign of care and your sign of honor for each other is good yes yeah for safari diem only one person lights in in that house so you let the host light and either you give them a little bit money and say we're gonna be partners keep me in mind or you can just ask her keep me in mind or you can say can I listen to your blessing and I'll answer I'm in and then you can light your own candles no blessing if you're visiting someone for a meal then you can light in your own house and then go there but we said that it should not be too early for safar diem ideally should be within 40 minutes before Shabbat and and you have to put enough oil or light bonk enough candles so that by the time you come back they will still be lit because you have to benefit from Shabbat candles if not then blight without a blessing or if you have to leave too early more than 4 safar than 40 minutes of our second item an hour and 15 minutes you have to leave your house before that then light without a blessing or again if you're worried about your candles burning when you leave the house you can just light the electric lights and keep in mind that you're fulfilling your mitzvot with electric lights yes no you wash your hands but without a blessing and you don't you you should you say I'll show you that's our then you wash again for bread but without a blessing and you don't make a blessing on bread anymore Shabbat is not a time to think about physical things and therefore on Shabbat we try not to think about business and not to ask for success in business or in any other physical matter however if you can connect it to your service of Hashem then you are allowed to ask for example if you say Hashem if I would have this I would be able to serve you better and you have a plan how you're going to serve Hashem better if you have that whether a job arrays or anything else then you're allowed to ask because that turns it into a spiritual request yes it doesn't matter if they the kaduche is sanctifying Shabbat bread is just blessing before we eat so again if they know what they're doing that's fine if they don't know what they're doing then it's better if you say your own blessing when it gets to you in order for you to to be able to say Birkat Hamazon right you have to eat a keziah which is let's say an ounce of bread within seven minutes so you have to make sure that during the meal there was a time that you ate one ounce of bread quickly and preferably it should be done at the beginning of the meal so as soon as you receive your slice of bread try to eat an ounce of it by itself with dips whichever way you want and try only to get up from the table after you eat that ounce after that the whole meal you can eat whatever you want as long as during some part of the meal you ate one ounce of bread within seven minutes yes so if you if you take the middle slice of a regular loaf of bread it's half an half a slice is an ounce a whole slice is two ounces but again it depends if it's white if it's puffy if it's whole-wheat or dense if you have scales you can practice at home and just measure different foods different kinds of bread to see for yourself okay any more questions thank you for coming you