Coming With Nothing Is Everything!!

In a lot of feelers, and we're only starting from the onset. Really, really starting from the onset is through of our of our whole you may say Ashkenazim started saying Slichos on Motzei Shabbos before a week and a half before Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah was on a Tuesday night. We started the Motzei Shabbos before. And from the first words we said is Russian the the to be because to bang. To be because. Knock, knock. And Russian the like poor people. The That's the first words. I'm here like an ani. Russian the Hashem I'm here like an ani. That's the first words we said. In many Slichos we've been expressing that Hashem, I'm not coming I'm not coming with I'm coming poor. In um That's the Rosh Hashanah Motzei. I'll go down there and find out. Perfect. Thank you. In in in Avinu Malkeinu that we're repeating over and we're saying every morning and afternoon during during these days you make sure we say Avinu Malkeinu. Avinu means to find in us, like us. Avinu find favor in us and answer us came by no mass. For I have no actions. I say to do charity to me the and and kindness and save me. We ended off the Avinu Malkeinu just like me and answer me came by no mass. I have no actions. I say please do kindness to me. Give me charity, be kind, but I don't deserve both stuck and Hesed is the Mashmia, give me what I sham, please give me what I don't deserve. We in a very beautiful place, the beginning of Hazarat Hashats. At the beginning of Hazarat Hashats of Mussaf, let's read this. >> [clears throat] >> I'm sorry, just want to find this particular part. We say a Lashon Be'ein Meilitz Yosher. Be'ein Meilitz, a Meilitz is somebody who defends you. Be'ein Meilitz Yosher, I have I have you we say a Lashon in Davening, Be'ein Meilitz Yosher. Mol Magid Pesha. I have nobody We have a Magid Pesha, we have a prosecutor who says our faults. In Shamayim, we have a prosecutor, the Satan is a prosecutor. The Satan means to be master, means to prosecute. So, Be'ein Meilitz Yosher, I have no defender. Mol, opposite the Magid Pesha, the one who says neg- negative about me, I have no defender. I come I sham, you know, when at a Levaya, we ask the departed to be a mail teacher. Be a mail it's please defend us speak to Hashem on our behalf. We always say should be a mail it's. You've heard this expression that a Levaya they ask the departed to be a mail it's for your mishpacha, for your family, for your neighbors, for your friends, for your shul to be a mail it's. In the davening we say moyo be ain mail it's yasha. I have no mail it's. Now in the way it looks like such a funny energy to come to davening and a lot of pieces describe this even the even the hinani that beautiful prayer. It's interesting if you listen min hage Israel are so cool. This very interesting did the guys notice this Avram did you notice this? Tovia's feeler the prayer that the shat says before shat before mussaf hinani in the hinani prayer listen what he says hinani ani mi mass I'm impoverished ani means I'm poor mi mass from action. I don't have any actions. Neara shai I'm afraid vinif had I'm frightened from approaching. And I come to beg for klal Israel that has sent me the shat is praying. It's very interesting this is an old minig Israel I bet Johnny keeps this also Johnny's a chazan. Do you know the chazan whispers afel pishani kidai v'ahuv and lakach I'm not worthy of this he whispers it. The chazan Johnny you don't say that all chazan and whisper it. He doesn't say loudly I'm not worthy of this. He says it quietly. It's interesting. I always am bothered when speakers say before they speak I'm not really worthy of speaking never say that out loud. First of all it's not covered in the Torah you're speaking and if you're not worthy sit down. You don't say it loud that's a private matter. You don't say publicly, I'm not worthy, I shouldn't You don't do it. It's very It bothers me when speakers do that. I'm not worthy to speak here. I'm not real worthy to speak. I'm not properly prepared. So, sit down. You're making it like You're speaking means you have something you want to say and you feel you should be saying. So, I don't like when speakers loud now Who cares what Kalish likes? The minute you throw is not to say it out loud. You don't say out loud. You'll hear chazzan and talk You whisper to all chazzanim. They say I'm here with trembling, we're afraid. Then they to themselves He's quiet a little bit. He says, "Even though I'm not connect I'm not kedai." It's not what you tell the tzibur. That's your own thoughts. It's not you tell the tzibur the It's not derech eretz to tell that to the tzibur. First of all, they're trusting you. Second of all, you're davening. Now, you're allowed to feel this way. You say quietly to Hashem, "I'm not worthy." Such a beautiful minyan. Our minhagim are so ridiculously cool, Daniel. What Klal Yisrael does, you could study, learn from. We're a beautiful people. And the chazzanim across America, my rebbe davened from the chazzanim across the world, they whisper to themselves, "Even though I'm not kedai." It's not nice to tell the tzibur that. The tzibur put up We put up to you. We feel you are worthy. He feels themselves. It's not what he tells us. What he tells us what we feel. We're very confident in him. He's allowed to have his own thoughts. To us, he's going with confidence. Even it's interesting if you if you find Abie later and you notice certain times he whispers, that's always when he whispers. He says He says later, "I'm asking for I may ask I'm asking rachamim for me and the ones that sent me." Then he whispers, "Do not blame them for my sins." Don't blame them for my sins. Do not obligate them for my sins. Because I sinned a sinner he whispers that. It's not nice to tell us that. He whispers the that's a private matter to us he's evoking confidence. He whispers quietly. So it's beautiful. He's that's his own thing. He says I shouldn't just don't my own sins don't put to them. Then he goes on the rest he says they are allowed that except my like the but there's a lot of expressions of our ineptitude and what we don't have. It's such an interesting way of coming to that oven. And the parting message and massing give stock and by the way we start saying the beginning and end describe I'm not I'm not saying I'm so hot I don't know what I'm talking about. I have sins. Then we start asking for things. I don't know what I'm talking about we ask for like those important things but we start I have sins and we end up messing. I don't know what I'm talking about. Give me what I'm talking about. And the way a person is supposed to pray if you look up you're not supposed to say do good to me I've been a good boy. You're not supposed to say that. It's not how you do things. There's a tremendous way of I'm here please I'm your son I need I'm your dependent I shouldn't please. I know you love me. You're not supposed to say I've been a good boy I'll be a better boy it's not how you're supposed to do things. If my kid would call me up from where he would say I have a couple hundred thousand for learning stuff. I I promise you I would start doing more children. So, what have I done as a father? I'd be like I'd be I'd be sad. I'm not MS Avram. I'd be I'd be like I'd be terrible what I do. What type of father was I? He calls me up tactic and have some money. He knows I love him. Not coming. I've been good. That MS Sugar MS Sugar I would literally feel sick what I've done as a father. Hashem's our tata. You don't come to Hashem I've been good. I'll be good. You come to Hashem I'm not I'm not coming with anything. I'm coming Kirashim V'dav. I happen to love the first words we say. I like Elo. I like the MS Slichos. I happen to like it cuz my name is Daniel Pinchas Kaelish. And the Icius of Daniel is Daif is Tanak. Dalid Pay Kuf is Tanak. Daif. Is Tanak. Daif means Tanak. Kol Daidi Daif. And knocking we start Kanim V'rashim De Facto L'saka. But I'm knocking on the door. I'm coming for. I'm not coming. I've I'm not coming like that. Now listen to what the Barditcher said. When I was your age I heard Chassidish Shatim Shamea. I was like turned off. It's not what's being said here. So, the words and I I have come to realize that in Chassidish Shatim they're saying the deepest truths in Shat. It usually fits into Shat. If you read the words says B'ain Meilitz Yashar. We have nobody B'ain. We have nobody Meilitz Yashar. We have nobody to be a Meilitz. A Meilitz means I have nothing to defend me. I have no defender. I come without a defender Mol Magid Pesha against the one who's prosecuting me. I have no The prosecutor has his fit. Imagine you're in a court case. The prosecutor has like a fancy million dollar lawyer. He has like Ben Brafman on his team. You know Ben Brafman's a the biggest defense attorney in America. But he has like the version of Ben Brafman as the prosecutor. You're the defendant and like you couldn't afford a lawyer. And we say what's your shot? I have no defender more market pressure against the one who's prosecuted. I I come nothing. So it sounds like well look said the Bardichever, he put the comma in a different place. I wrote this what he said. He said instead of the aim may would see I share I have no mailers. He said the aim was nothing. May would see I share that's my defendant. The aim if you come like I don't have mail would see I share that's the best defender in the world. Yeah, where he put the comma? The aim if you have aim mail would see I share that's the best defendant more market pressure against the prosecutor. So now it looks like when I was your age I was that's not the shot. What's he doing? He's If you understand by the way there's cuz even the simple way of reading I have none. See he's saying you're just coming I have nothing like you're and at all the prayers are set up like this. The whole from the start I don't like people who come defeated. In sports I don't want anybody. It's funny before a big game, you know the type of guy who watches the other team's lineup. It's like whoa, I'm not into that. I'm not looking at that. I'm looking at our line. I don't go What a variance I don't care who we're playing. I don't like defeatist mentality. I don't like attitudes if we can't. You saw that guy? I don't care. He hasn't missed a three the whole warm out. I don't care. I don't like defeatist mentality. We can. We can. I don't like attitudes of we can't be shy of the Tisha B'Av and we're not shy of Yom Kippur. No, we're shy. I promise we're shy of the things. I don't like defeatist attitude. Anything which says we can't, we won't, we never, count me out. I like competing. We can. Let's do it. Let's Let's go. Let's We We can. I like we can attitude. I don't like you can't. So So to me, if you see that davening is like a defeatist attitude. We have nothing. We are nothing. We come as poor people. Maybe next How can I know now that next year I'm going to come as a poor man? Maybe I I watch the best guys we've ever gotten in Yeshiva. You're beautiful person. So maybe you're already planning next year to say like a poor guy. You'll look. You'll You're doing quite well. You might knock like a very rich man having a lot. And I could already tell you next year now I'm going to approach my slichos. I'm going to say the Russian I'm knocking like a poor man. And the was saying that the way to approach Hashem is not with all you have. You could be the richest guy. Come as a dependent Hashem. I'm your son. Here I am. I come with nothing. I'm not coming with my stuff. I'm coming as I I need you Hashem. I really need you. I really need you Hashem. Real. I really need you in my life. I want you in my life. I have things I want you Hashem in my life. Real. I want you Hashem. I'm not coming. I'm not coming with I I come that way. I'm here. I'm here Hashem. I'm here. I'm here. I watch different guys come to minyan. And by the way, I'll tell you a but this there's tons of stories like this. People who came Yom Kippur there are a lot of stories like this. I'll say this in the literature world of people who showed up. All different things could happen. I picture a guy like oversleeps Yom Kippur and he feels like You know what it means to walk to the Hashem? I'm here. I can't believe it. I I overslept I guess. I can't believe it. I had a for my first time I'm going to So I'm tape. I'm going to admit the truth. It I've been in Durham now. We've been coming Is this our ninth year here so what 10 Schliemann? Nine years? See the ninth or the 10th? I don't know. What? This is our 10th year. 10 years I've come to Durham. This Shabbos I'm going to tell you what happened. This Shabbos I had trouble falling asleep. I was vibrating in my apartment. We had the Einiks in the dorm. So I decided to Einik in the apartment. I had an Einik with Rena, my wife. We had an Einik. We were having until late. Then I went to sleep Einik a tiny got to sleep earlier. That was I was doing things here. We had an Einik here ended very late. Maybe we'll make it early. Then we had an Einik in the apartment. I overslept. I came very late to Davening. Very very. I'm I'm supposed to be the Rov here. The There's an offer of I came very very late. First very It's a shtickel of bad and I'm supposed to run the place. The night before one of the people of Ali Simcha said, "How do you get up so early in the morning you got to sleep so late?" Then I roll in like at very very late. I made I made his Aliya. I made the the offer. I'll tell you what happened. Tell you what happened. I had a very beautiful Davening. You know why I'm here Hashem? I'm here. I'm late. I'm embarrassed. I'm this. I'm that. Hashem I'm here. I want to pray to you. I want to talk to you. I had a very beautiful Davening. Bang. I came in. Then come Hashem you see I'm early. I'm on fire. I'm doing well. My streak's alive. I came Mamesh Bang. You come be ain. I'm not coming with stuff. I'm just here. Hashem I need you. I want you. Be ain mailitz yosher. That's defends you. That's the biggest defender you could have. The Bardichever said. Now it sounds like he's saying such a shtickel Torah. He's not. It's true and pshat. What's the matter we saying be ain Every year we say be ain mailitz yosher. We have no mailitz. That alone shame me is what he's saying. Come as I'm here. I'm here. If I defined If I defined how the Rosh Hashanah done is people who showed up, I'm here. I showed up I'm here and a guy showed up. I I showed up I'm here I showed up I'm here I really want this. I want to be part I'm not coming I'm on fire I'm this I'm that. It's not the energy how I'm coming. Ain banu masim I don't come to Hashem that I'm being so good please. That's a pathetic relationship a really weak relationship. I come I want I'm interested in you Hashem. I really want this. Ain banu masim I'm asking for kindness I'm asking that I'm your son Hashem. I'm your dependent. I say money it's stuck. I think we start Avinu Malkeinu hatanu lefanekha. Hashem I'm a sinner. I'm not one of these people coming I'm on fire Hashem. We're asking like the biggest things of the year we're asking. We're saying I'm just here Hashem a dependent of yours who's here. That a long said the Bardichever was the biggest host to be answered. The biggest host. By the talmidim of the Baal Shem described the Baal Shem asked one of his talmidim to be the makre. The Baal Shem blew the shofar famously and he asked one of his talmidim it was a big honor be the makre call out tekiah. So the talmud was like shocked the Baal Shem wanted to be mekhaber him like that. So the talmud started studying mamash yom valaila kavanos Arizal the kavana of the tekiah before and the tekiah after mamash studying the whole sugya. There's a sugya the halacha is relevant there's a sugya negeya. It's funny that shivrei here is blows there's things going on. In the first set there's a machlokes Rishonim if the shvarim tru'a has to be one breath or two breaths. One holds one breath holds in a yotzei with two breaths. One holds two breaths. So we do the first set of shvarim tru'a we do with He does it in one breath. The second shvarim trua he's supposed to call it different. The words they say shvarim trua, so when you say shvarim trua, cuz they do it in two breaths. They're like going on and then the kavanas. So the talmud of the of the the talmud of Bal Shem studied the kavanas, but he couldn't memorize everything. So he wrote it down. He had write-ups and papers of all the kavanas. Comes Rosh Hashanah morning, he lost all his papers. He was mamish and he was the the Bal Shem asked him to do one job. He prepared hours, he lost all the papers. Shamiyim, they hid them. They couldn't find He spent Rosh Hashanah morning, he was late to shul. He was looking everywhere for his kavanas. He had a job to do. The Bal Shem sent him that you got to come. He comes to shul, he's mamish like a broken clay. He's calling out the stuff for the Bal Shem and he like knows nothing. He lost all his notes. So he comes, he's tkiyah after the Bal Shem said that was the best kiss I've had in my life. What were you thinking? What happened? The Bal Shem asked this talmud, that was the year I never had a kiss like that in my life. So he said he was thinking, I feel so sad like who what am I? The Bal Shem, that was the best kavana you ever had in your life. I don't know. I shouldn't know what to do. He came with a certain temimus, certain sincerity. He came Let's not making fun of having all the kavanas. Trust me, the next year when he remembered the kavanas, but he tried to replicate that temimus, sincer- That he had taken it away so >> That he had taken it away from. That's I never heard that. I never heard that. It's I'm not I want you to know the story when you have different versions, it proves to me it's true. And I want to say you said different versions. I want to say clearly something happened and we probably don't know exactly. It wasn't like a public thing. It's not like a joke. This was big Sadiq and it's interesting that they said the Bal Shem like hid the guy's kavana. Hid his kavana. I heard that he lost it. I don't know. Clearly, I'm sure we don't know. But there's a story that happened that the kavana did the Bal Shem take it to the Bal Shem davana that it disappeared. Did the guy For sure Hashem took it and maybe the Bal Shem was the shliach of Hashem. But the yid couldn't find his kavana. And the Bal Shem said it was like the biggest year and he's not saying not to have kavana. He is saying come with say he's not we want to have tzedaka. We want to serve Hashem. That's not That's not the approach. It's not the approach to Hashem. We're coming Yom Kippur. We're coming the these days. The iker approach of the yid is I want you Hashem. I momish I want I want I want I but I want it real. I want it real. I really want this. I want it real. I spoke to a lot of guys who are Rosh Hashanah. I spoke to a lot of people. I saw bachur There were guys who were here hours. The guy told me People told me they were very little. They liked it. He said I didn't have a pressure somebody beating him up to come. It's a big thing to walk into shul. I want to be here. It's a big thing. I would in the yeshiva set up and again we'll get to places we come on time. We're working towards it. I could tell you this Shabbos that was I felt I was ahead all different things. At such a taiva to say I was sick. People kept asking me are you okay? I'm perfectly fine. I'm perfectly fine. What can I say? I have You know you could to say a lie. You never you should say a lie. Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur as much as you got to speak more honestly than the whole year. I wasn't sick. What What can I say? I wasn't I had a sore throat so it looked like a good story. That not shiyach. Sore throat cuz I was enjoying Rosh Hashanah and I sing too loud always. It was a beautiful lemaisa lemaisa I sent shalom I wanted to be here. I momish was saying It was a off. It's davening. I like I wanted davening. I joined the davening. Come in such a manner. Come Hashem, I want you in. Come come now. I'm not coming with stuff. I'm just coming. I'm dependent. Hashem, I need you. I want you. I'm interested. I want. I need and want Hashem. And I'm here. That's the energy of coming l'fnei Hashem. That's always the energy of coming Hashem. The davenings are set up as such. The davenings are set up. I know next year I'm going to knock. Hashem, I'm here. I'm really here. K'vashim u'd'alim. I'm not coming with chos. This is how a person is supposed to daven. In Shulchan Aruch it's brought. It says Moshe Rabbeinu davened for Yisrael v'schanan. V'schanan is a lashon chein. It's the same lashon we say in Avinu Malkeinu. Choneinu. Choneinu means when you just find favor for no reason at all. The Gra writes that Hashem is a chanon. It's the same lashon chein. A chanon means he responds to tantrums. The Gra writes, what's There's a difference in a babysitter and a mother. If a kid's tantruming, a babysitter will give in cuz she doesn't know what to do. The kid's tantruming. So a babysitter will give in just to quiet this kid down. It's crazy. A parent gives in when your kid tantrums. It's so cute. I'm picturing a certain scene in our family, with certain scenario of a kid tantruming, and my wife and I say, "So cute." The parent like a rachmana swells up. The Gra writes that Hashem's a chanon. He just when we like crying, he's just like, "They're so sweet." And he gives us things. It brings out it's air from Hashem. We just Hashem likes us. That's what it means Hanan. It means not based on I deserved it. And says says the Sefardi Mashrabena Vaskhanan when he davened for this that which was massively important. And the lesson of tfila that he taught us Vaskhanan a Matnas Khinam. And the Shulchan Aruch brings that's how you're supposed to daven. You daven for Hashem, Hashem, please. I know I love you, you love me, I need you, I want you, you like me, Hashem, can I have you're supposed to ask for Matnas Khinam. You're not supposed to negotiate from Hashem. Say, "I'm a good boy, please. I'm telling you I'll be better." It's not even how you ask for life. How do you ask for life? You ask for Mayim Banu Mayim Mayim Khama Mayim You love me, I need you, I want you, I'm dependent on you, Hashem. That's how a person comes. You're supposed to be mistabed for Matnas Khinam Vaskhanan Hashem. That's the whole nature of the prayers to come lifnei Hashem as a dependent. I'm here, Hashem, and then I need you. I I don't I don't know how to say this differently. I just need you. I need you, Hashem. I really need you. Come as a dependent. So that's the first thing I wanted to share with the Khevra. It's It's an attitude of prayer. It's very powerful. Hashem, I'm here. I really want you. It's an attitude Yom Kippur, by the way. Yeah. I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Show up. I'll tell you something Machi, I want to tell you something interesting. And I see this in prayer. This attitude of I'm here and I'm interested This attitude of beautiful simplistic attitude Chaimi, I have seen this. I'm going to give you an example of Ram Nachman of Breslov because in relationship, that's like the deepest showing up. In In In um People worry when they go to be menachem aveil what should I say? You not don't say anything. What you're saying is I'm here. I care. Your friend my care. You don't have to It's not what you showed up. It's You're saying People don't remember what you said. You show up. I'm very into if if I I had a surgery a number of years ago. My brother drove from Lakewood. I couldn't have guests. I couldn't have people that I was in a lot of pain. He drove in like held my hand was with me. I I don't remember what he said. He drove back to Lakewood. I'm here. I'm here. Nothing. There's nothing to say. Rabbi Kelsen is my best friend for 48 years. We're very very close friend. He was having a major surgery. Mechy was having a major He sends He sends his love to you. Last night we spoke about you. Mechy was having a major surgery a number of years ago. So I called the hospital. It was a rainy night. He was in like an intensive care. It was a major surgery. I called the hospital. I said, "Could I come to visit my friend? He's in this." They said, "No, no guests allowed." So I left. I started to my wife said, "They just told you no." I said, "I wanted to try to convince him." I phoned. I said, "I'm going to my friend." I said, "If you think the hospital is stopping me, I'm going to my friend." And it's not a gezeirah. I was calling cuz that's why I could travel at least knowing I'm going to get in. They said no, but I'm still going. I drove to the hospital. I got in. I got in. I He He It's It's many many years later. He talks about opening his eyes and I was there. We didn't schmooze. I had nothing to say. He was couldn't talk then. It wasn't a conversation. I just my friend was in the hospital. I'm going to the hospital. I'm there. What are you going to say to him? Nothing. I What am I What am I supposed to say? I'm here. I'm here. A person comes to Hashem doesn't come like bribing. It's not how it works. I'm here. I really want Hashem. That's it. Real. Ein bon umasen. It's a much more powerful way of showing up. Not coming with stuff. Not oifen kol amoisif gareia. When you add, you're taking away. It's not It's not the same. My son would call me up describing what he wants, describing how good he's doing. That's like tragic. I'm here. Daddy, I need you. I want you. You love me. I love you. We're into Can I have That's That's the attitude. I wanted to express the attitude of coming to Hashem. Now, of course, when we do show up, I want to express that it's normal to feel If a son ignored his father for a long time, and I want to express this, and I want to validate normal feelings. It's very normal to be embarrassed that I ignored you for so long. Hashem, I want you. I have to I saw somebody ask Jordan Peterson, "Do you believe in Hashem?" And he started crying. Started crying. Cuz he said, "I could say yes, but I I I I did I did yesterday some serious stuff." He started crying out of it. So, it's very normal in showing up and saying, "I want you to blush a little bit." And I'm saying, "I want you, Hashem." I And I feel this way sometimes. You come gorgeous. I wish I showed up more. So, I want to validate that it's normal to have feelings, and it's not all just I don't have anything. Hashem, I'm here. It's funny that I ignored this relationship a little. I'm A guy come shows up to his wife and anybody he loves, and he comes and he says, "I want the relationship." It's a normal emotion to say, "I haven't been present to this." I should have That That strikes me and hits me. But this is There's nothing to come. So, there's the first thing I wanted to share with the The second thing I want to tell you is Hashem runs the world. And I had planned I was thinking asked me to say I should have showed up and I planned to say I should have showed up. I should have showed up. And I planned to say what I Shabbos chuva drasha. That was my plan. My wife's here, my friends Avram's here. I wanted to say a Shabbos chuva drasha. Comes Shabbos chuva drasha and I totally forgot and and and Yudi I know and gave us tremendous here and the many Yeshivas, the guy at Shabbos chuva drasha speaks, I totally forgot. My mind what I'm going to say, I was like holding, thinking. And then Yudi speaks and he spoke beautifully and he was spoke a while. And there was no Shabbos chuva drasha. So then it came time to bench and I was clearing, should I say one but it's not accepting. Hashem runs the world. It was too obvious that he was one that we didn't sing it did nefesh. We never My plan was even when he was going to speak. So let's do the mizmor so speak, then we'll do Yudi nefesh, then we'll have a Shabbos chuva drasha. He spoke beautifully for a while and it was late, it was way after the mizmor. And Hashem runs the world then he'll stop. But then I'm thinking everything Hashem really runs the world and there was going to be a Shabbos chuva drasha. I told the whole Yeshiva that his family's going to hear and I want to say that Yudi's was to my the Shabbos chuva drasha this Yeshiva is Yudi's speech. And I want to translate in English the Shabbos chuva drasha and I want to tell you this. And this was the Shabbos chuva drasha in Waterbury, Connecticut this year. Things don't Don't look at things like it's coincidence, it happens like okay, shocks that we had a Shabbos chuva drasha. Hashem decides what the Shabbos chuva drasha is and the Shabbos chuva Shabbos chuva Shabbos chuva drasha was given by Yudi this year. And I want to say and anybody could take the chuva the the chuva drasha you want. I want to tell you what hit me, what struck me, what Yudi said. Yudi was emotional. He was here and got a lot from Yeshiva and gave a lot to Yeshiva and was saying good things from the Emek Halacha, very deep. And I want to say to the guys that little things matter a lot. Described 2:00 in the morning with a friend eating ice cream and talking. He described his father driving him. He described thanked his father. His father's a beautiful kid. Described his father going out of the way driving them and then listening on the radio to to pranks to like phone pranks. He described different little encounters with friends. He wasn't at a moment being very funny or he was just very sincere being emotionally saying goodbye. He's walking out of the Yeshiva. This place means a lot to him. He grew worlds here and gave a lot to the Yeshiva. There's a certain seriousness and it struck me how big the little things are. And to take little things seriously. Eating a breakfast with the guy in the dining room. It's It matters. There's a line cool covered in the things are harsh. At big serious places things count. The life matters. The little things are very very significant. They matter a lot. The little thing matters a lot. We were somebody ran the Yeshiva's name Oberlander who built this Yeshiva. He was a master of the little thing. He liked a cup of coffee. He went with guy he liked a nice pair of shoes. I'm always amazed. I'm not the biggest dresser in the world. I don't do well with clothing. I always have like old stuff and my wife will make sure without her I'd look like a like a very ridiculous. And I like when my kids dress nice. I'm always amazed how a pair of shoes changes the whole look of somebody. Think a pair of shoes. Guy wears a nice new pair and he looks like so fresh. And it means to me the little thing matters a lot. A little pair of shoes. You think it's just covering his feet. Guy looks like fresh. He looks nice. Little things matter a lot. And to me that was the Shabbos Shuva drasha and the issue of the sea that little things take little a phone call a guy calls his grandmother phone call. He makes a phone call. A guy mammish walks into a dorm a little interaction. It's interesting at the last night I've gotten this feel before guys talk about their journey and the slightest thing is like a big thing. A bocher was sitting here describing it he he was shining from his Rosh Hashanah and I see he still has a beautiful look from Rosh Hashanah. He told me that Reb Jay went to the pickle ball court and blew the shofar. And like meant something to him. It's beautiful little things are matter or significant in the world. Little interactions. I'll tell you something interesting when I was sitting around with my family mourning my dad you would think people want to hear big stories and there big stories about my father. It's the littlest things that are like very meaningful like tiny stuff. The way he said my name I miss a lot it's like a little thing. He had a nice way of saying a name. Little things are very valuable and precious. And when Yudi described his departure it was very moving to me to count little things to mark little things to be present by little things to value quick encounters to value a quick encounter to actually to be present for a quick encounter. A dorm council walks into a dorm. Says good morning to a guy it's a big thing. To value be present for it put meaning into it. No it's interesting there lines there's a madrish that describes that if Ruvein would have known how important his action was he would have gone bitupim umichayiles. If you would it's big things it's big Yudi's sitting late at night eating ice cream with a guy he's He's a fromer guy closer to Hashem, helping many. His ice cream, late night ice cream thing was a big thing. It matters, significant. Right Overlander very much lived like that. Like little things were like significant. It's interesting at his um at we had a gathering a yard site at Overlander. And one of the most brilliant guys who ever learned in the Yeshiva said he saw it two things. Yehuda Gruper, brilliant guy. Very brilliant person. He's a special Ben Torah. He said that with two things I got from Right Overlander. He He's He described his sorrow. He couldn't move the days after Overlander was nifter. And he said I got two big I got two things. He said I got Shabbos from him. He was a Shabbos Yid. His His connection to Shabbos was was wild. He said I got Shabbos from him. And I got He said the value of little things. He said he would drink a coffee was like significant. He had a certain way he liked coffee. He wore a nice pair of shoes. Little things were like significant, the detail. Right Overlander loved. We would have We would make a Shabbos together every year. He loved remembering details. He came We made a hotel Shabbos and he remembered to check when the when the when when the call out when they bench the new month, the mylid. And he knew he came he wrote down the mylid. That was like classic Right Overlander. Okay, so that week we wouldn't say the mylid. He liked like the little detail was like a big thing. The little thing was like significant. So he said he got these two things from Right Overlander. And he said he realized it's one thing. The whole kedusha of Shabbos, kedusha means that in this world what I told the chevre about pruta. When you make a casual pruta, penny a penny. From one penny you make kedusha. That's what kedusha is. Kedusha means that in this world we're shiyach to the eternal. He said it's not two sugias. The core He said Shabbos during the week translates that things matter. Two guys drinking a coffee, two friends go to two friends here go together to um to you know the the the the the the gas station Dunkin again. It's a big thing. Two friends bonding is a big thing. It's interesting when guys would come back to Waterbury, there was always a minute when guys came back engaged or married, they bring their wives or the kallah, they bring them to the Army's Bagel. Now they talk about Army's Bagel. It's a bagel store. But it's a big thing. Two friends, friendships were formed buying a bagel together. The wife said, "What's this big bagel place?" Army One day you bring your wife to the Dunkin Donuts. It's a big thing. It's a big deal cuz two friends in the context of a life of may Hashem, little things are very significant. I felt like Yudi's speech and it was describing like very little He's playing 2K and arguing like two brothers. I was very moved by that cuz two people two Yidden were bonding over 2K at 2:00 in the morning. He was crying that he would go to the gym 4:00 in the morning shoot free throws with somebody. And like two Yidden, sometimes you see two guys struggling to keep the schedule. Late at night they meet up in the gym. They work out together for a few minutes. Two people searching for Hashem, searching for growth. Just two people functioning at the little stuff matter a lot. I say it to us because if we could be present more by the little things, if we could be besimcha more and appreciate the little things, that alone is a life is it's meaning and purpose. Just with more chiyus, with more warmth, with more sense of those little things matter a lot. They matter a lot. How many guys years later remember like the little a little Dunkin run and and that was significant to them and years later it stays. The guy talks to his children about I'm these bagel. There guys who are at a Yeshiva 25 years will still talk about I'm these bagel. That little run meant something. That was I took that as the Shabbos Shuva Drasha. I can tell you it's 24 hours later. I want to do little things. A little little shpatsir to be more present, to do with more cheyus cuz I had significant. A guy who is leaving the doors of Yeshiva and he's talking about eating ice cream 2:00 in the morning it struck me. So if I'm eating ice I want to be more present, more more besimcha about it, recognize it's something valuable and precious. So that was I wanted to just chazer what I took as the Shabbos Shuva Drasha of the Yeshiva. I wanted to again express how how precious how much we owe somebody who gave to Yeshiva. He's not here yet he left, but I want to express somebody who gave a lot to Yeshiva. We owe a lot of gratitude. I appreciate spoke about him shalah shudos. I appreciated that you spoke and what you said a lot. The way you said it I appreciated a lot. We've all We've all grown a lot. has impacted my life. Talk about somebody who's present. The way he listens to people, the way he listens to himself, his own I'm proud of what we have in the Yeshiva and what you've brought something here to my life, to the whole Yeshiva's life and I'm proud of that a lot and I wish us all I wish us all these two inyanim that we spoke to show up to our relationship to God, to be able to show up and not and to show up in a way that says I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not trying to come with stuff. That's like you're you're practically not here. Your stuff's here. I'm here. I'm here. I want you Hashem. Ein banu maasim. I'm just here Hashem. I'm a reliant. I'm a dependent. I need you. I want you. Show up like that is message one and Tfilah of Nachman says to turn your Torah into Tfilah. That's Tfilah of Ein banu maasim. We're here Hashem. And message two was let's try to value the little stuff and be more present by the little stuff. Have an excellent day, Shavuot. That's your character kiss.