Looking Inward

Reb said something this Shabbos that I thought was really really moving and I want to share with the guys. Reb Ezzy gave like went wild when he said it. I was I was on Reb Ezzy's team, Reb Ezzy. I thought it was like a standing ovation. But he said something that was like and and a bochur told me last night that it like hit him a lot. Told me it hit him tremendously. I was talking to somebody last night. It's like it it it was it gave him pause for thought and somebody this morning. I'd like to share what Reb Silverman said on Shabbos Kodesh. All of us know there's a halacha if somebody speaks lashon hara could get a nega tzaraas. There's this this nega this wound that comes on his body. And the inish is he sent chutz l'machaneh he has to leave the Jewish camp. And he has to be bad that alone. Now the simple understanding before I met Reb Silverman yesterday the way I understood it is you're dangerous. A guy's ripping is very dangerous and it is dangerous. Called a makkeh re'eihu baseiser. Every single person is in sports Who has seen a [clears throat] fight in sports? All of us. Fight. What's the ugliest thing in a sports fight? When two teams brawl. This is the ugliest Kevor, what's the ugliest thing in a in a fight in in sports? I'm asking the guys A sucker punch is disgusting. In hockey it's funny. In hockey they could check each other in the fights, I hear. When a guy's head down and another guy levels him. Zev you're a sac a hockey guy. To me that's disgusting. You're such a cheap shot artist. A cheap shot is like upsets us all. A sucker punch a guy walks to somebody behind and punches him. You're such a you're such a sicko. You fought two people for fight I don't like any fights but two people fought it, I hear. You're mad, he's mad. Stuff happens. I think it's part of this forum. punch from behind is like so you so like you it's a sucker. That masking? Lashon hara the Torah calls makkeh re'ehu beseter. You hit him when he couldn't defend. It's like you so you You went up behind you knocked him. It's a makkeh re'ehu beseter. It's a sucker punch. It's It's not nice. So lashon hara is a dangerous guy. You rip people. It's not fair. You're a damager but you're like a deep at least walk up to somebody have the guts. Then now you're talking out you you smack him when he can't defend. So lashon Well, His reputation you can hurt a guy financially, emotionally, his standing, every which way. No? Oh, yeah. So lashon hara is like a dangerous guy. So we send the guy not every lashon Meaning it's not only to have a lashon hara. You're saying it could be lashon hara without that? But you do a If you ruin his reputation now with lashon hara it's That was lashon hara the bad thing we said but that it does tremendous. People are hurt incredibly from lashon hara in all different ways. It does tremendous damage. So the What Right Silverman, what are you saying? Nothing. Right Silverman, before I Silverman came along Avi, the baal lashon hara was sent out of the camp. You're a damager. And we pashut you You're dangerous, buddy. It's interesting cuz the guy doesn't The guy doesn't view himself as dangerous. He just rips everywhere he goes. But we tell him we send him chutz l'machta you're a danger to society. That was the p'shat before I Silverman came along yesterday. Right Silverman rocked our world, Zevy. Pashut p'shat is he's dangerous. Here the guy goes He goes around he's knocking people. So he's a dangerous he send him out of the machaneh. Is Ezra's is what understood your whole life? Science studies a dangerous guy. It's posture dangerous. He hurts societies. He's hurting people all over. Stay away from people, buddy. Is that how everybody? Chica, is that how you understood how you send them out? You're right. Silverman said yesterday. Believe you. You You know what Silverman said? He said a good schnitzel. Right. Silverman said that you like the rebel, he said. Right. Silverman said that when a guy is knocking, he looks at this one's a prep. That rebel guy that thing. And he said we send them alone. We're saying look inside. What's happening by you? Learn your sugia. Learn your sugia. Study your sugia. Study your sugia. Learn your sugia. So many times behind anger and tightness, it's just ignoring the sugia alone. He's knocking. He sees limitations. Like Cola Poysel be my Poysel. Every knocks is knocked with his own stuff. He's frustrated [laughter] at this, upset at that. It's all smoke screens for your own sugia. We send the badad. We're not We're telling him go be the badidus. Go privately and look at you. We look inside. We're just directing the guy to look inside. We're not telling you you're such a menace. You're so dangerous. We're telling that you're focused the wrong places. Learn your sugia. Get inside. Get in there. Dig in. That's what I Silverman brilliantly said why we send the balashna lamachna. We're not telling you you're such a menace. We're saying look in your own sugia. Go Go to a Stop seeing people. Stop making it about people. What's your sugia? There's so many times I I've given this martial in Yeshiva as a martial. You have four friends, Yehuda. And they do everything together. They manage the roommates, top friends. One might say Shabbos three of the four got a ricotta. They leave out the fourth guy. So, the guy is living it up. Rightfully out of his three roommates, [crying] left him alone. He's living it up. The three roommates have made him feel like garbage. You guys didn't bring me the ricotta. So, if he's like a hero, he opens up. See, you know me. See, you know I was such a jerk what you did to me. And he's angry at the three guys. Is that as deep as emotion you heard that he's angry at the three guys? What's deeper that he's angry at the The three guys is gishmak of people we all love opening up. I'm angry I'm at the three guys. That's like gishmak. I'm mad at you and then we can make the sugya jerks. Why would he even leave a guy out? We could handle that sugya the rest of our life. But they could ask machila and you could be moichel. What's the real sugya? It's not his anger. Deeper than his anger is he's lonely, felt hurt. He felt hurt that we don't like visiting there. I like being angry. I like handling what a jerk you are. My My loneliness and my hurt is me. I'm lonely. I don't feel cared for. That's the deeper. Deeper than the anger. Anger is is But But what's under there? And you're allowed to be angry. They act like jerks. We can handle that. But what's under that? I'm hurt. I'm hurt. The guy who's There's a lot [clears throat] of pretend openness of anger. So mad at you. I hear it. It's good. That's real. Touching places. But that's a place that's like a little bit safe cuz it speaks of what a jerk the roommates are. I can handle that. Deeper than that is I'm very lonely and I feel I feel left out. That's very difficult. I feel left out. That's the deeper space. Right, sugya? Huh? >> screens, what's he saying? He's saying I'm angry at you. You guys are jerks. I I believe you guys did that. You left me out. It's crazy. Who would behave that way? >> What is that? He doesn't examine much further. But that deeper is not how crazy and bad and what type of behavior which is true, that's going to be examined. What's much more relevant to him is I don't feel cared for. I feel alone. Feel not seen. >> expressing that. It's hard to express that. You know what I'm saying? That's a place we cover. That's to go that space very hard. It's so cool. That's in you. That's in us. He'd much rather handle that such jerks. And in the space of lashon harah is how the others a jerk, we say go bother, go away from people. Examine you. Look at what's hitting you, what's happening. Is it always correlated to the most painful experience? Like more like if something shows how much more lonely you are. I think so. Something inside that it's touching. It's only to do with him. And you could be upset by the anger's a good place. It's a good start by the way. People should be taught to be angry. Very genuine. Very. Anger's a marker. Anger lets you discover what's under. That's what that That's what Donny was saying. Anger says a marker. Very [snorts] minute hit me somewhere. But then like figure out what it marked, what was under. Well, I feel very lonely. The anger's a good thing. He's right to be angry. Hashem designed us to get angry. They are jerks. We could That's a good so But you're getting angry because something was touched there. So what was touched? What was touched is that he's feels very alone and not cared and like That's not That's not a sugya about what you did what you Let's say they have a heter or a tarit to the His own [clears throat] feelings are What I was saying was when he's when you're angry, he is expressing that. You can get to it. Anger can help you get there. You'd be shocked that you could be angry for years and not get to the the marker under the anger. >> is like a secondary move. Yeah, for sure. Right. Anger could help you bring us in for sure. And that's the job is to look deeper. The anger is beautiful. The anger it touched something. As I may as I may say. What what what I what what Silverman said moved me like beyond moved me beyond. Myishie quoted Reb Fisher and he said he said something he's Machavin some two thinkers who are from a different angle right right right Rabbi Yuma Fisher and they were learning Hilchos Lashon Hara in Reb Fisher's Yeshiva. Reb Fisher is reading the Halachos at a certain point. Me and Avi and our Chevre had a very similar experience and Myishie told me what happened here. It's funny across the continent we were learning Hilchos Lashon Hara here. I was impacted that Reb Reb Fisher was doing it there. Shmuel Salzberg to his credit I think he's the one who told us yeah. Shmuel Salzberg said we have to learn Hilchos Lashon Hara. We had a seder that was glorious. How nice was that? We met how many times? Good amount of times and then I stormed we had a group we were learning Hilchos Lashon Hara. It's striking how much is us sir. It's freaky. To be honest it's like oh my goodness. You can't say that. And Reb Reb Fisher had a sermon he's a very real person you know that at a certain point he's like WHAT IS THAT LIKE like hello like I can't pray I can't rip I can't like like what what what's happening? He was like like bugging. He said you know what he's pointing us? We're supposed to be busy with ourself. Then when I stop being so busy with him you're focused on him you're in partial missing. It has to be he said otherwise he said Hashem is just pointing look inward. Feel what your Sugya is. It's not about him he's terrible he's this it's not about him. It's not about him. It's literally not about how bad how terrible it's not the Sugya that's happening. It's not what you're experiencing. A bochur today a good guy was like pining on something the Yeshiva how they did it? And I was like I heard him out. Timing on the shiver. That wasn't what we I said okay, go to shiver. Okay, so I'm going to do shiver. We can think of like you attacking the shiver. Who's the shiver on the walls? They're okay. So myself I got lost. Okay, so good good. Thank you. Good mercy said very shiver. I said what's hitting you? Then we like worked and then it hit what what what's hitting him. Hitting him is not how bad I am. And like it wasn't his so good. What's hitting him something that was hitting him. If he's lonely, if he's feels ignored, that's him. That it's not your so good. How now you want to give more so so appreciative like you have such good things to say. That's not what's hitting you. It's not the deepest space. Now your anger is you're very angry cuz there's something there's something that's that's that's resonating. Also let's get to that thing. Let's hit the thing. Let's nail the thing. Let's nail the thing. So so cool you who the rough fish when they're learning lashon hara. At a certain point he like bumped out. But I didn't bump out is the wrong word. I hit the certain point just like we had a similar experience. We're learning the lockers here. We're like and then you have what I'm saying to you. He's really saying you know you learn your so good. Be where your so good is. They're like you're not ripping this one ripping that one knocking it's like not when you're in your so good. You're not ripping him. It's not it's not what it is. Go in your so good. Dig in. Dig into your so good. Dig in. It points you one way. When you're dug in it's just not the so good this one. Stay in your lane. Yeah yeah yeah. But so the fish are like learning the lockers like the only answer. His only conclusion could be the same thing right so from it concluded that we send the ball lashon out of the machna. We're not saying you're such a menace you can't be around people. We're saying that you should turn inward. Turn inward. Go by that. Go be be this. Turn inward. The guy like looks at his stuff, he's like, "Oh." Imagine that from that space, just a beautiful world of looking inward. So, that's that's what he said. I wanted I I want to share a little more. I like the Luscious Heart. Maybe we'll share some more Luscious Heart, but I do want to on Shabbos on Shabbos the alum the alum found a song that that like resonated a lot. I want to explain why I like this song. So, I want to explain something that's just the truth. Please Please plug into this truth. Please listen Everybody listen for a minute. Herschel, I want you to hear this. My first love of my life was Musar. And it remains a love of mine. I'm attracted to Musar. Musar told the person it demanded honesty and it told the person to know himself and to make demands. Don't just don't make demands of yourself and work stuff out. It demands of a person, Musar, don't just be a person Don't be a menace to society. Watch Don't just say anything you want. Be kind to others. Be be aware of how you are impacting others. And I love the honesty of Musar. I love the possibility that we could do work and be better. That was the first love of my life. It will always have been the first love of my life, Musar. Until today, I like Musar's swaram and they mean something to me. But I want to say something else has grabbed It's not a contradiction to Musar. Not at all. There's something that these days and the Yeshiva I always called the Yeshiva Musar Yeshiva. I started something that that I cared about Musar and I still care a lot about Musar and a person working on himself and and making demands for sure. What's caught me at this point in my life and it's not a contradiction to Musar. Musar remains a love. What's caught my attention is there truths all around us, realities that we can plug into. Shabbos is a force. There's a big for I'm I was coming at Musar working on yourself. So, I always wanted for what can I do? I want to hear what Shabbos, what am I plug Do you know every Shabbos is a force? And you know every Shabbos is unique force? And by the you know the way you can you could find out what the force of Shabbos is. Now, we didn't always laying these parshas. But Hashem runs the world and all of Klal Yisrael is reading a certain parsha in a certain week. I promise there reasons for that. We didn't always lay What do you mean? Cuz they had different systems finishing every 3 years. But if all of Klal Yisrael reads a certain parsha, it's saying something. Yeah. Yeah. All of Klal Yisrael is reading a certain parsha, it's saying something. And there windows every Shabbos is a unique experience. When a guy says to me I had a bad Pesach or sayder, it's cringy to me. I'm not A guy should feel and people were fighting things were happening. It's not a guy's fault. I want to know it's like saying I had a bad experience in the Beis Hamikdash. That could happen. A guy goes to the Beis Hamikdash with somebody who doesn't know what Mikdash is. The Mikdash is a place of like crazy like this crazy stuff. It's an envelopment in the hands of Hashem. Now, you might not be aware what's happening of what of of the experience. But there's something called Pesach is a reality and a force. There's something to say the night things happen. Anybody with eyes could tap in. I see stuff happening. Anybody the sayder night there's like big things you could tap in. And you could literally tap in. There's all different ways. The safest way to do it is through the mitzvahs. Hashem gave commands and you tap into something. There's something you could tap into fair Now, if you didn't have it, you still could be connected to it. Our souls hop a lot more than our bodies, but there's a flight that you could hop in. I love studying what the power of each day is. What what is it? I like knowing what's what's what what There are opportunities right now class of I one in the Yeshiva, we're traveling from Israel until come over start right now. Right now, we're traveling. It's like a matzah is there's something happening. Cloud Israel's very busy with your bikini and it's tell me them right now. All of Am Israel. It's no wonder that the parshas metzora is about lashon hara. It's about you didn't see good in each other, saying good about each other. That's like the sugia right now. So this shabbos somebody Binyamin Lowy daven from and he sang a song he shalom be cheilo that there should be peace in cloud Israel. Shalom and I say tranquility in your countries. The biggest thing I'm thinking about now in in terms of our people is I I pray that our people get along better. I see in Eretz Yisrael a tremendous divide. I see people fighting and giving up, really putting their lives on the line fighting for Am Israel, and I see people mamesh living but tzimtzum and tremendous darkness for Torah and mitzvahs. I see the chareidim and the mizrachis. I have pardon to use the name, it's just Yidden and Yidden. And I'm blown away by both sides. I'm like, "Wow." Or and or, light and light. I'm blown away, and I just had this dream that they could talk together. They could meet each other. It's like a dream of mine. Cuz they have different lights they're bringing. I want more conversation. >> We need another podcast. Now. >> [laughter] [laughter] >> But the katzur is the katzur at varm is I appreciated a lot that on the week of parshas tazria metzora the song Binyamin Lowy sang was he shalom be cheilo. There should be peace. We should get along. So this Call you stroll being the Hobbit says that it's the soggy of our people, it's the soggy of Tara Shabalpa, it's the soggy Jewish union is it literally the soggy of Sarah Elmer. What what miss the lost kids coming to show you coming to say I liked on this Shabbos the song that I like caught on like wildfire. You would if you could do with us, we have all different keys and things we're still like learning the song. But you would if you could if you could key us, please. The low part again you got to want you to get a key though. >> [singing] >> I'm going to announce the schedule. >> [singing] [singing] >> Beautiful, thank you. You did. Thank you. Beautiful song. You knew that song already, Tzvi? Where'd you sing it? Space, space. Shalom is a lot of space. Shalom is space. Two people cannot fight if you smile and there's no shalom. Shalom is not not fighting. One gives in to the other or is there shalom? It's not shalom. Shalom bias is space. When they space for two. A lot of space. >> I need to finish. >> [whistles] >> It's so good. There's one of the inyanim of lashon hara, one of the one of the inyanim of nekama, the halacha says that the reason nekama is assur is to teach you that the other person things don't come from the other person. Damages don't come to train in a person that it doesn't come from the other person. And this is in nekama, the remarkable listen to nekama. That's like wild. We're asked to be angelic. We're literally asked to be angels. If you asked your neighbor If you asked My wife just had a maiseh like a maiseh neura with us. If you asked your neighbor, could I borrow It's It's the during the winter and there's a snowstorm. Hershel nekama is like wild. There's a heavy [clears throat] snowstorm. Pashut the shovel is hard. It's always amazes me how much strength That's like when I We're far from thinking about shoveling right now. Baruch Hashem, the beautiful weather. Shabbos and before. But when when to shovel snow is a lot of effort and pushing you I find myself my heart's like beating fast. So you say to your good neighbor, he has a shoveling machine, a snow blower. So you say Rabbi, can I borrow your snow blower? I push it. I'm just not up to shoveling today. Can I borrow your snow blower? So the Yid said, I just bought it. It's very expensive. It only has so many runs. They break very easily these machines. I'm sorry. It's like the nicest neighbor. I'm sorry. You understand me? Like I don't understand. I don't understand. You understand me? Sorry, don't worry. They these things break. They're not kosher. Not kosher at all to borrow a snow blower. So the Yid says, I'm sorry. Fast forward 2 weeks and the Yid's snow blower breaks. And then there's a big snow storm and his snow blower is broken. And he knocks on your door sheepishly. And he says, "Hey Shachin, my snow blower broke. Can I borrow your shovel?" I don't I didn't I don't have no shovels. I don't want to get a ticket. Can I borrow your shovel? Unbelievably. You know we're going to play um volleyball in a few minutes? I'm going to let you in the gym. So look at the keep an eye on the the schedule champ. So the neighbor says, "Can I borrow your shovel?" It's like a pillow. That worm it's over in the toilet. It's also the right to say no. You don't let me. That crazy stuff. Like build. It's wildness. Shayka, is that what do what does Hashem expect us to be angels? Give us that wild? I'm saying shovels are not going to break. So I understand that. I hear you. I hear you. But you look at I hear Akiva is so nice. He's like, "What's I hear?" Your shovel won't break. He had a good reason. I hear what Akiva is saying. It's emotionally very My wife mom is just out of my sight. It's us and the rest. No, it's just Mary Ross would always get Yeah, not my neighbors. >> [laughter] >> Right, Ross is like We had confusion. No. No neighbors. >> [laughter] >> Neither neighbor was involved. >> [laughter] >> He starts to get asked by Ross about his snow snowblower. Not the grossest. They both we have no fights. Akiva is so sweet. says I understand like I you talk of that nice. You are that nice. But could you understand normal people like me would be pretty annoyed? I hear he has a reason. At the end of the day, he didn't lend me a snowblower. Can you Akiva? Now you come back to me and you want my shovel? You serious? Watch this. This is a normal thing in Yeshiva. You ask a dorm counselor guy borrow your car and he has good reasons not. And momish has good reasons. Momish can't really lend, you know, my parents, good reasons. But I'm I want emotionally. He comes up with good reason. Ross is like, "You momish sham you like, you know what? Okay, fine. I am." It's saying good. can I borrow your car? I can't lend it out. You're under 21. I but my mother paid for said So Akiva is like, "I hear." But then your parents buy you a spanking new car and you come to Yeshiva for 13th grade and you have a car this time. And then that same dorm counselor Akiva, your car is looking awfully good. I have a date tonight. My car is a little banged up. Can I borrow your car? Now he has good reasons. What? >> [laughter] >> Like I when I needed it, you couldn't give that good reason. >> [laughter] >> Cuz it was different I hear. >> [laughter] >> He's so He's He's not that nice. That I said So it's remarkable that it's us and the rest. So if you would him, he would have let you lend it to him. If you don't lend anybody, fine. It's us in the race. For a minute, we were So, obviously, it's like a pillow what Hashem's asking us. They have to be like literally like a mission going on. Obviously, no what Hashem's asking us is not only do you have to lend him, if you say I'm not like you, you're like Satan. I'm not I'm not like you that you I'm not going to do it back to you, then you're like Satan. You're not allowed to do any of that. You lend it back. If you wouldn't lend to anybody, you're allowed to not lend him, but you can't not lend him. >> lend him, but we need to talk that out. Speak that out. You're allowed to not lend cuz you don't have to lend your car, but if you would lend him, you're only not lending him your 600 when you it's it's in the race. That it's wild. It's filled what we're being asked. I keep I'll tell you I love her. So, what's our tire saying to us? That it wasn't him who hurt you. That's how Hashem explained that we don't view that people can hurt us. Now, there's a there's a tremendous truth that our story happens inside. People are less you did that. It's not really about you. It's a surge inside. Things are like that. The reason is there's nothing to do with being nice. What? >> has nothing to do with being nice like the How do you know? The says he's nice enough to do it. I wouldn't take my chances. That amazing. Just to show you that it's not coming from him. That's the whole reason. That's what the writes. Not amazing. But is it natural to not give it or is it really not natural to really do It's crazy, but what Hashem's pointing us is that it's not him who hurt you. Your story happens It's normal to want to not give it. That's not that's not That David, isn't it amazing that Hashem wants from us? That's amazing. Where would you stand on this? That's the says it comes only the moment. Good question. Good question. Fair question. I don't know the answer. The Mara says good question. Good question. Why it only Why you only Why is it a dinner? It goes first. Fair question. Very Well, that's for sure a mitzvah. That's a mitzvah. That's a good question. That's still a mitzvah. I hear what you're saying. You almost owe him, but it's still a mitzvah. We're We're asked to do things that are not natural. In general, forget even mitzvahs. We're We're asked to do things That's a very good question. That's a very good question. I think so. According to this flash, what the rabbis say, I think you could tap into a space that things are from Hashem. That's the truth. It's not about him hurting you. It's not about that. I think that's a space we can get to. Otherwise, what does Hashem ask of us? There's a space we could be in. Anyway, I wanted to share this, Rabbi Silverman. I thought there's a tremendous truth to it. I thought in general when we feel things towards others, there's nothing wrong Feel what we feel, but examine deeper what's happening inside of us. I wanted to share this, Rabbi Silverman.