A Time To Love (Ep. 267)

hi this is damski and welcome to the RAB Alami show thank you thank you everybody and whether you're watching with our friends over Ator any time wherever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's wonderful to have you along and do not forget to like subscribe comment and share all all them stuff okay and we are sponsor Ed uh this episode by anonymously thank you and uh I'm thanking you in advance for your very warm words I don't know why you didn't want to share who you are because people uh usually are Anonymous when they write nasty comments to me which I spoke about a few podcasts ago and I need to do a rejoinder to that podcast but let's get down to the business first I gain tremendously from your podcast each week I I really need to read some of the positive comments because there are many many many more of them than the negative comments and and uh but uh you know negative ones are just more fun to read it's hard to believe that Rie olowski show doesn't have a Year's worth of sponsorship lined up yeah it is hard to believe the fir world needs more of the Frank honest analysis of Torah ideas Society issues and easy to digest mus that the r discussed in the podcasts thank you I guess that's why we don't have so many sponsorships because the people who appreciate it don't have any money all the rich people like to go to the uh more established but we're for the people we're for the people who are not you know in the Inner Circle you know it's like when uh yakob harwitz they asked him about the state of kisel so he says it's like a he says if you're in the middle circle with the H H it's unbelievable if you're in the ne line waiting to get into the middle circle it's great when you reach the third line he says that's where I am that's the old people shuffling along you know what I mean doing due diligence he says but then there's the people sitting at the tables you know they're not participating at all and uh and I added two caveats then there were the people outside smoking and talking on their cell phones and I pointed out that they're concentric circles with each circle it gets bigger and bigger so the happy campers are the middle my people are you shuffling along with me the third line anyway but uh so yeah thank you so much for that and I also would like to give a shout out of course to Dan Roth and His Brilliant work with Torah live uh those of you who are not aware it's on L uh you can watch the uh Rabbi c videos for those of you who didn't see my episode with Rabbi Roth I encourage you to watch it because I am also a cartoon character and there was never anybody who was more meant to be a cartoon character than I am and uh Torah life uh rabie Roth asked me to mention that if you mention you are from uh the RAB olowski show you'll get a 10% discount if you sign up for Torah live and then you'll get access to videos that are not on the public domain you'll get to be able to participate in all kinds of other programs and things so if you've got a young person or an older person who enjoys the rabbi sitter material or any of the Torah live material I encourage you to please go check that out there's a link at the bottom of your page where you can uh sign up for it and as I mentioned a few podcasts ago I uh I read the um unpleasant comments that I received uh for my interview style I wasn't doing that to be as my children say in Hebrew is like uh like being neb like you know those things are so terrible you're such a NE you know I wasn't doing it to do that I was doing that to explain my interview style whether or not uh people appreciate it or not I just wanted to point out that there's a method to the madness I'm not just I'm in interrupting and in fact I just got a interesting email where a person said I listened to the interview and I also was disturbed by the interruptions and he says and since I've listened to it four times and now I understand what you were trying to accomplish uhem I I don't know that everyone always appreciates what I'm trying to accomplish I have a being uh a well-known unof probably modesty is my greatest uh trait and among my great traits but uh you know I I always try as the great balius did to you know be beser and to and to cover up my greatness so uh so I don't like to you know reveal what I'm doing all the time you know I like to appear as simplistic as possible this does two things one is it protects me because um as my friend re Nell told me that sometimes people say oh you're friendly with rowski he's very funny he dos a lot of good jokes and things and he says no no no but he he also knows how to learn you know he says he's been FAS a few times you know he gives a DA he know that alone he says when I tell this to people they get angry at me and I don't know why and I said I'll tell you why as long as they can write me off that the guy is just you know funny so I'm not I'm not a threat to them but when they think that I can also learn and also be entertaining than what have they got over me and it's very important to put other people down that's how you raise yourself up is by putting other people down so that's why I don't like to uh to let people uh see that because I know that you know it it becomes more threatening to people I give emoi shabas sh in har and uh over the years I mean the old days I used to get hundreds of people now I don't but I used to get hundreds of people although they put it up on tour any time and I get thousands of people so I guess even though they're not there in person but you do get more of a an energy when there are thousands of people in the room as opposed to online but um but uh there were people who were upset that I drew this kind of an audience and what was interesting is sometimes when I would go on a tour and I'd be traveling I didn't want to stop the she and I would invite in other famous speakers to fill in while I was gone and they said they didn't get the turnout that I got my people wanted to hear me you know uh and from time to time somebody would come over to me and it happened several times and they'd say uh why are you giving the she you're such a big time of you know more than everybody else you know that you give such a such a big Shear I should be giving that Shear I know more than you do so I say no it's because I'm funny oh go oh you're you're a clown you're a joke a joker you're tell jokes you're a comedian oh I didn't understand okay now I understand they coming to watch a comedy show I thought it was a Shear no okay now I understand now I understand already you're a joker okay you're a clown okay now I feel better and one time when this happened one of my kids were with me and they were seething and they said ABA why don't you say something and I said do you know how sad your life has to be that you have to go up to somebody that you don't know and attack them because they have an audience right what I should have said is why don't you give a sheare why because you know nobody will come because nobody wants to listen to you you stupid BG nobody wants to hear what you have to say what am I doing that for he's already a stupid Bala so now I have to go and point it out to him you know let him put me down and walk away and feel better about himself and have a certain amount of self-respect so I don't need to tout how great I am already you know and that's why it was interesting I used to have people would come to the year one time a guy says I couldn't make it I listened to the recording he says and I didn't realize it you say a lot of deep things meaning was I wasn't in the energy of the room and everybody laughing I was listening to what you were saying you say a lot of deep things I said what are you trying to do kill my parosa just say I'm funny that's what people want to hear you know people don't pay me money to say deep things people pay me money cuz I'm funny you know and that's why somebody once said to me you're not allowed to uh you know charge for how come you charge when you speak I said I'm not charging for the Torah I'm charging for the jokes you know I speak in America I get a certain amount of money when I speak and uh you know I have to have a certain number of jokes so sometimes I would tell a joke at the shabas table and my kids would say ah but that's not funny and I'd say remind me how much do you get paid to say jokes I don't think you have any idea what's funny I'll tell you what's funny you know I said okay granted not every joke is a $500 joke you know what I mean I only need a few of those I could finish you know I said but you you fill in you know you put in enough jokes you reach the the amount that I'm getting paid you know so after that when I would tell a joke at the shoing table one of my kids would be like that's about 250 that's $2.50 Dad sorry that's a bucket a quarter joke because not everyone can do everything but everyone can criticize anyway um the point I was making is that um I I was reading the negative comments to point out that there were people who did not appreciate why I do what I do now you can agree with that you can disagree with it but that's my style of interviewing because I want to try to get out of the people what I want to get out and in fact what I I received a lot of you know don't feel sorry for yourself uh emails and and comments and I don't don't worry about it you know I'm I'm very impressed with myself I couldn't be any more impressed with myself don't worry about it you know uh I get introduced sometimes and that's why I have told my kids many times I've told my wife I've told my kids I've told anybody who will listen I don't want any hpen when I die you know for a lot of reasons uh one is the gar talks terribly about people who lie and either people are going to lie about me when I die or they're going to tell the truth and it's just going to be a bizan so let's let's just not say anything I said but besides that most people need has SP them because they never get mpid I get M people have mped me all the time every time I get up to speak I get these over-the-top introductions that are just like ridiculous you know and uh rosha Feinstein used to get these tremendous introductions and when he got up to speak he just didn't even acknowledge it because it was like yeah okay you know but it's a little embarrassing when you get a big one I remember D Cohen once got this really over-the toop introduction and he gets up invisibly choked up and he says I just wish my parents could have been here to hear that says my father would have enjoyed it and my mother would have believed it you know so there's different kind of responses but one of the things I say is you know wow after that introd uction all I can say is I wish that I was you sitting in the audience listening to me because what could be better than listening to somebody like that wow it's I'm so impressed with myself right now I don't has spay them so don't worry about it all The Nasty comments I enjoy reading the nasty comments um it's uh uh you know all of them all of them uh you know are taken right it's one of the the mishna mentions you know you you want to hear reproof but uh but this isn't reproof this is just you know either criticism or insults and that's fine too that's fine that's uh I I only grow from the experience it helps me develop my anovi even further than you can even imagine such a thing is possible but um uh but I basically wanted to explain it I got one very curious email where the person says I hear your explanation but maybe you should speak to ad toyra first and I said about what hilus interviewing I didn't know that was a Simon what exactly is the issue I'm supposed to be clarifying should you ask the question like this should you do it like that how should you be uh sitting what's your lighting you know this is my style of interviewing and that's why I pointed out and somebody uh wrote which I found interesting goes I understand what you're saying after your interview with niss and black I finally felt like I knew who he was and I had listened to all the interviews that he had done but now I finally felt like I understood who he was so that's it I was explaining I was not hurt I'm not insulted just the opposite I tell you the truth that the I'd have to make azman it's definitely dozens I would go so far as to say scores I don't know if it's hundreds but definitely scores of wonderful comments and emails I get from people who tell me how much kizic they get from this show as Anonymous mentioned in his sponsorship that gives me such um you know and sometimes people come up to me I was just in America because my daughter had an operation and she's recovering as somebody asked why don't you give the name so we could dive in yaomi Bas Sima if you want to throw in a good word for her um she could always useis and um and I was there and uh you know um I took my daughter out to eat to uh to the finest eating establishment in the five towns Caris and Gaby and um you know they have these dumps like Doma and stuff but I don't go to those places you know call us and Gabby say that's where you go anyway and uh apparently everybody in the restaurant listens to the rovski show we just went around you know I went to visit uh my mother-in-law in Lakewood and um uh she uh you know I went to DAV minion I was surrounded by a group of Lakewood guys who all listen to the podcast so I know there are people who get from it and I and I get these emails of people you know who get this so the nasty comments you know are the exception rather than the rule and like I said maybe one time I'll come in and read all of the nice comments that people make and you know mostly because I'm totally out of ideas of what to talk about so that seems like as good an idea as any you know um I often come into the podcast and ask so what should I talk about because uh you know we're well into our sixth year seventh Year good God we're well into our seventh year of rabie olowski and I've been talking for hundreds and hundreds of hours you know and uh you think at some point this guy has to run out of stuff to say apparently not I always find something else but it doesn't always occur to me off the top of my head you know I am not a mind gab like some people are that they they're just overwhelming you know when I was uh by my daughter who lives in farak I in in the white I give a uh an online missil sharim which of course you can sign up for at my website ravioli. comom and uh you know normally when I give it in Israel it's on American time so it's uh 2:15 in the afternoon but in America that's 7:15 in the morning and the way that NES works you can't go to an early Dominion really if you if you want to dve after NES so um uh so I go to the 8:30 I finish the sh after 8 and uh get myself together and drive down to the white show I go to 8:30 and the r of Aon finer Do's there so I just had this of giving him a shim when I was there it's not easy because he DS for a very long time I had to hang around for a long time just to go over and give him aim but uh um but I remember when I spoke in the rville years ago and he gave me an introduction and I got up to speak and I said you heard more uh sources in that 5 minute introduction than you're going to hear in my entire speech he's a minorous godbe he just keeps producing and producing and you know um he's he's he he is a Wonder of Our Generation you know and uh um uh re finer if you ever happen to be in AR TR we would love to have you on the show because I can't think of anyone finer in the state of Carolina anyway so uh so uh yeah so okay well that was just uh I'm waiting for the riddlin to kick in this was just my ADD taking me all from topic to topic so uh so that's it so thank you for everybody for the nice comments don't worry I'm not being I'm not insulted you know uh I remember at one point I was uh I been killed on the internet three separate occasions you know and uh you read the comment sections and the comments are often just vicious really vicious comments you know and one of my kids said AB but don't read them and I said no no it's good for me it's good for me you know read the I'm a m I'm a m he has a din of M everyone should go out and kill him and something like that I find these things inspiring that I could Inspire this level of loathing among people I'm a pretty nice guy you know more or less but this level of hatred I find it you know uh I find it calming you know in the words of Tom Lara who used to write funny songs professor of math you know one of his songs he is uh laid lanious and vile make me smile so uh yeah that's okay it's good it's good uh you know uh reminds me of uh they tell a story that before World War II this guy was reading the sturma which is the Nazi uh was the Nazi propaganda piece and he sees this yid reading the stma he says you're reading the sturma why would you read that he says uh I can't read the Jewish newspapers he says why because the Jewish newspapers everybody hates us everyone's going to kill us everyone's going to do terrible things I read Thea the Run the World with the most powerful people with his thing I get a lot of from it the only people saying positive things about us are the Nazis so uh so that's why all the negative comments the fact that I I could Inspire that in fact I'll tell you an interesting ver that I heard years ago uh from a well-known Baler he said uh he said you know Amon and moav can never marry into CL and the reason they can never I'm almost positive I heard this from every cter I'm almost POS he was R New Haven at the time and he used to come to uh to our ncsy events originally somehow he thought he was going to recruit you know bakam for his yiva after a while when he got the lay of the land he just came because he he he saw wow what an opportunity these are the nicest kids in the world that have a chance to be Masia so uh you know Shout out to the cultist who when I would go to America they would uh always host me wherever they went as they went from City to City I would follow them around you know I just I just stayed with them uh recently in uh in bokeh and uh they hosted me and my daughter and my grandchildren you know and uh Mrs CA whenever I uh I walk in the door on one of these trips the first thing she does is hand me a large pile of of vitamins and say quick take these apparently I always look like I'm dying you know what I mean so uh um which by the way I am but you know only question is when but I have embraced my own mortality uh which by the way since I'm still in the add portion of the program um the uh uh I say this all the time I've said this more than once but uh uh this tubish V I'll be making my sudas 11 years since I had my heart attack and uh bypass and um and uh two of the doctors said that I should not have made it so when uh I wake up every morning I tell myself I'm in overtime the fact that I'm alive is the greatest thing in the world so you enjoy every day when you understand that every day is extra you know you you you get you enjoy it better I I remember I was in a hotel and and I was sleeping and my father was pounding on the door to come to breakfast I had no desire to come to breakfast because all they do in these hotels are eat now to be fair I was very good at that you know but I had already been you know to the te- room and the midnight bash and I was okay I didn't have to come to anything else my father it was like 7 o'clock in the morning it's breakfast it's breakfast I said Dad I'm not hungry he says it's paid for so Jews have a special approach you know people go out to eat they're like oh I'm so stuffed I couldn't eat another bite says you want dessert no I'm so full it's included okay let's see the dessert menu it's paid for so when I started um my ncsy chapter in Los Angeles and it's Jacob and 1978 and then when I restarted the Long Island region of n csy in 1979 I put a tremendous emphasis on paying dues I would do everything I could to get kids to pay dues and I would tell them when you pay dues you get discounts on this and discounts on that and you get this for free and that for free I wasn't making any money on it so people said to me why is this so important to you I said because once somebody pays their dues and you tell them if you come to this I'll give it to you half price or I give it to you for free they're like it's paid for it's going to come already it's paid for so uh so it's already in included so I have that already but uh noem you know uh I I'm sure I'm sure that that that time will come but uh yeah I I celebrate every single day and I think everybody should the only difference between me and most people is they don't understand that uh that you know uh one day we're going to die and we don't Embrace that so uh you know when you have uh stared death in the face and you realize that uh well tell the story when my brother died my mother was still alive and anybody who would listen she would say why why did Jason die why did Jason die he was so young he had children to marry off I would say to God take me take me instead don't take Jay why did Jay die now what do you say to a woman in her 80s who lost her son in his 60s how do you how do you explain that you know and so no one knew what to answer now I was after my bypass operation I couldn't fly so I called up to pay Shiva call and my mother does it to me why why did Jason die I said to God take me and I said God doesn't want you you're a cranky old lady Jay's a lot of fun he'd much rather have Jay he doesn't want you he'll get around to you one day I'm assume but right now he doesn't want you and she said that's the first thing anyone says that makes any sense one of my kids told me that you know towards the end she was she was in a lot of pain towards the end and she said I'm trying not to be so nasty so that God will take me so I faced death and God said nah you stay here I was like but God I'm I'm ready to move on no you're not trust me just stay ready here don't go anywhere I'll get to you eventually but right now you know we uh we're we're doing fine why don't you stay down there and annoy people in this world instead of coming to olaba and just being a nuisance I appreciate that anyway so that's my very brief introduction yeah what did I want to talk about uh this week so um we are in the weeks of shovavim for those of you who are unfamiliar with it you might have seen I live here in so you see posters you know special t for there are people if you have a really good Jewish calendar you know then you'll see not the IJ Morris I don't even know if they still make that but when I was growing up IJ Morris Funeral Home had a bigus that they used to send out to everybody thej Morris calendar and people who had no to Judaism had an IJ Morris calendar and he had the times for candle lighting and when the holidays came out it was uh it was a good thing I'm sure it was a good advertising thing and uh you know um I assume it made them very popular from what I hear people are dying to use their services anyway but uh well this is taking a pretty dark turn this week hasn't it but uh you know um so it won't be on the IJ Morris calendar but if you have a fancy Jewish calendar It'll point out on there are people who fast on Monday and Thursday there are people who say special on Monday and Thursday people do T you know uh every Monday and Thursday during shim and it's a a special time shim is an abbreviation for the paros that we are inos B uh and M those weeks are called the weeks of shim and their special time of doing tikun and improving yourself in certain areas in specific I don't want to go too much as it is they already censor me on 246 because I'm too controversial if you can imagine you know um I uh I uh just received an email some somebody who just listens to me on 246 and they say I don't know a lot of your podcasts aren't up and some of the things get you know get you know there's only part of it there and I said I'm too controversial for 246 some some of my videos are up there with warning statements you know what I mean that uh people shouldn't uh shouldn't have to expose themselves to uh to this uh to this type of uh lat sonis and uh and then then then pretest and then opic curses and stuff but some of them they let in so I appreciate that so I don't want to go into too much details because I at least I stand the chance of getting on this time and um I've told this story before but it's one of my favorites you know uh I got called from R Becca from the aoda many years ago inviting me to speak at the aoda convention and I said uh aren't you afraid I'm going to say something controversial and he says well discuss this so we're going to give you the women shalas because none of the rash Yesa come to that and we'll have you do the Sunday morning closing because they all leave Mo shabas I said I was kidding I didn't realize there was an actual meeting of how can we invite Orosi and minimize the damage I've told this story a lot of times and I've never been invited back I wonder if there's a correlation but anyway so I let's just say the following during the weeks of shim there is a Min to go to because this is one of the areas we're supposed to be main um because these are the weeks of GIS and G that's what we're reading about in these stories and as you know in parmos says to mosha I'm taking them out of MIT and if you ask in what's to bring them to this mountain to give them the toy and that's why uh getting the t is an integral part of so we go through and and and which are you know at the end of mish is the second um part ofab and all of that together is called and these are the week and if you look sometimes not all the but some of the um when you say mus in uh uh on Yan you'll see it begins this Gus came about because of our sins and there is a specific that you say to ask forgiveness for um particular AA that causes Gus yeah that that brings us into gulls why that AA and why GIS is uh for another discussion that I'll perhaps do uh in one of my online shum because I'm my online sh I get to say all the stuff that I try not to say in public you know on these public podcasts which has when I've said this in the past people say you mean there's stuff you don't say yeah yeah believe it or not I actually self censor I know that's hard to believe because it seems like I say so many outrageous things but I don't yeah in fact I probably mentioned this in the past but uh there's nothing better than a purum play it's wonderful you should always if you have Theus to be parodied in a PM play watch it closely because you'll learn more about yourself than the nasty com you get on a YouTube video you know so one time a person was impersonating me and or doid uh per play and uh he was in share he's giving the share he's doing a whole thing of that and then he stops and goes like this and he comes back and he did this a few times and the guys were cracking up and I had no idea what they were talking about so I said what is that he goes Reby you do that all the time I said no I don't he says okay next time it happens we'll tell you so sure enough I was in sheer and I was doing a you know some sort of a shtick to be able to um elucidate the point that gamar was making as I mentioned at the beginning of this there's a method to my madness you know and I don't just stom tell jokes and stories there's a purpose to it in fact story within a story um I used to give a par she uh in seminary on uh on Friday morning and I'd always you know were tired we come in with these gigantic coffees and stuff and you know they still had their pajamas you know they put their clothes over it you know they were half asleep so I would always start with a joke you know and then I would build up my questions and I build up my questions at the end I would throw it out to the girls to see what they would say and towards the end of the year one girl bright girl she says wait I know the answer it's in the opening joke it's always in the opening joke you start with this joke as if it has nothing to do with anything and then in the end you say and that's why and you tie it back into the joke and I was like oh there's a method to my to my manness you discovered it I had a girl in I'm a married lady and she said to me I said you're Shear over to my husband I said okay she said you don't understand I can't remember Shir I've never told him over a sheer but I remember jokes and stories and with you a Shear if you remember the jokes and stories you can recreate the shear so I said oh so uh so there is a method to my madness anyway so I realized they stopped me when I was doing I said I realized why because I try to use the humor to develop the point but I don't want it to turn into L sinus I'm not I'm not telling jokes for the S of telling jokes and that's why I always get styed it just happened to me the other day that somebody came in a friend of my son and he was videoing whatever was going on and he says oh R alas is here tell us a joke so I I I don't usually it's hard for me to remember jokes I don't I don't really I say things over in a funny way I have a certain um what morai cornfeld from the daf Yom Institute told me once they said I really enjoy the things that you say but you know you have this Edge to you I said I know that's why people listen to me you know that was a different P play where uh my uh my good friend rib mendle uh who uh has sponsored sponsored uh episodes here in the past you know he um uh he did me play and he did the usual like you know telling jokes and then someone says yeah that's like this he does me I go I yeah you think I like getting interrupted in a middle of a sense so first of all he got down my very refined Long Island accent which is not easy to do it's a very specific yeah it was like my kids all do it to this day you know yeah think I like erupted I'm sense you know so he says but you know the attitude and I said what do you mean you know that's why people listen to this The Edge he says you have an edge I said yeah absolutely you know but um uh so I tried to do just enough that I think I'm illustrating my point and then I stopped and that's what the staring off in the distance was is I said is this enough or should I go a little longer what do I need to do in order to keep people's interest because that's the sugar coating on the medicine that you want people to listen for this and even then I I don't want it to be stamate sunis it's something that's there to be M the point I'm trying to bring across so um okay uh so when uh it comes to shim there's a particular issue during this time that we're supposed to be mat we're supposed to be working on ourselves and we're supposed to be uh doing chuva now the problem is and this is always the problem right what are you supposed to be doing on El doing chuva what are you supposed to be doing doing a sis made chuva chuva what are you supposed to be doing from what are you supposed to be doing from According to the doing CH what are you supposed to be doing during the weeks of Chua what are you supposed to be doing during SP chuva what are you supposed to be doing during the three weeks chuva you know after a while you hardly have any time to do a virus I'm so busy doing Chua already so the answer is not nuanced you know you have to have Nuance you have to you know they say the devil is in the details but so is uh so is aesu he's in the details you know uh Usha Wade who was a Baptist Minister and became a uh he became an orthodox Jew um and uh you know he said that uh he says as a minister I was wearing black and white so become aass it was wasn't much of a transition you know I could more or less keep the same I just had change the color you know but um uh he said one of the things that inspired him is he was giving a sermon and uh he said you know we have to do the will of God do the will of God will of God he's great by the way because he uh you know he is from Virginia so he's like that old southern baptist way of talking will of God you know and um it's very good because he really tries to keep it under control you every now and then he loses it it's a lot of fun I had him once speaking in ID and uh one of the guys asked him at the time the Archbishop one of the archbishops in France was in line to become H the pope and he was uh actually a Jew a Jewish kid from the Holocaust who was put into a uh was put into a um put into a monastery and he was really Jewish so they said to him uh you know um This Guy's in line to become the pope he says yeah he says but he's really Jewish he says uh yeah say so why doesn't someone explain to him that he's a Jew and he shouldn't be a Catholic and his eyes flashed and a little bit of that old Baptist Minister came back and he said are you kidding me this man is in line to become one of the most powerful people in the world to control billions of dollars and billions of people and you want him to give that up for something like the truth anyway he said one of the things that inspired him come Jewish as he was preaching the will of God you have to do the will of God and a woman came over to me in the end and said what is the will of God and I said he realized I had no idea cuz that's not what Christianity does not by Good Works will you go by Heaven you have to just have you know faith and Let Jesus in your heart well just lost 246 anyway and and Let Jesus in your heart and then you're going to you know uh be able to uh you know be saved Etc so he says so I took out that Bible they gave me back when I was in seminary and I started reading and I suddenly found where all the will of God is it's in the Old Testament you keep the shabas keep kosher you know help the poor help the Widow help the over I started reading and I said here's all the laws yeah so there it can't just be vague generalities be a nice person I love people who say that the most important thing is to be a nice person be a good person right but the devil's in the details what's a good person right as Ari Khan pointed out two people walk into two hospital rooms two people are in terrible pain and they're terminally ill both of them asked the person who walked into the room to pull the plug so they can die one person does and one person doesn't and they both work out thinking that they're good people there are demonstrations in favor of abortion yeah they call it pro-choice but it's pro-abortion there um there are uh demonstrations in favor of abortion and against abortion they call it pro-life but it means they're anti-abortion you know it's I don't I don't like uh I don't like uh these make believe names you know what I mean just call it as it is so people are protesting to forbid abortion and people are protesting to allow abortion and they both think they're good people everybody thinks they're good people you know it's the details that make the difference so yeah you do chuva but there's different nature of the chuva that you're supposed to be doing and during this time it's specifically in the relationship between men and women that we supposed to be focusing on that's where they learn the H of um of tus M that's why the all the tikon is on the Tik for a particular ver that has to do you know with uh with relations between men and women these are the things that we're supposed to be focusing on this time why because GIS and says this that the that describe theban and gas are in gor because that's the definition of Gus when a marriage fails as the gar says even the M sheds tears when a marriage fails it's a tragedy it's a hban and that's why har where we get the Torah is described as a marriage yeah the agle is des described as adultery cheating in a marriage and during this time we're supposed to be establishing that relationship with and that's why the learning to trust and all of the things that go on and what goes through you know harini is compared to uh the wedding I mentioned this in the par and five uh last year and [Music] um we follow Hashem into the midb like kala so I brought number of examples how b is all about the engagement and someone said to me well if Bo is you know agreeing to get married and B is the engagement and Y is the marriage that makes sense because the ES maros are the dating you know say that's the 10 plagues you know that's dating and um and as somebody said to me once anybody who tells you the engagement is the best part you know that marriage is in trouble no that shouldn't be the best part you know being married should be the best part you know wouldn't it be nice if we were married and we like that was the Beach Boys you know could wake up every day together you know uh that would be the best so wouldn't it be nice if we were engaged and we saw each other on occasion and we couldn't be together and that would be the best part yeah no this that wouldn't make such a great song that's that's kind of sad so this is the time that we're supposed to be developing that relationship with a and being the lack of fidelity is a good word yeah it says it says it says a lot without getting me into trouble yeah that we should have loyalty to be honest to the relationship uh Stand By Your Man right nothing you can say is going to take me away from my God right that's what it is we're we're a one God people yeah all of our effort is on and that's why it says by it's compared to a a man who runs around with a bunch of different women not us that's polytheism that's believing in a bunch of Gods Not us we're a one God people yeah we're one you're one we're one together and all of us are united and it's dka during these paros which um when you read the paros there's a certain Bittersweet element to it yes it ends um luckily we start stop Shing before we get to Kisa but it ends on a positive note we come to Har we get to Torah we come God's people we get married to hasem but it really starts in the darkness and all of the problems and the difficulties and we need to build our way out of that and that's what this uh period of time is all about out to us to be able to develop that relationship if you want more on that topic you can go back and watch my uh videos on um on uh dating a marriage where I give more details on how to develop that relationship and again I say this much shorter in the paraa in five on bashak last year so uh those are uh uh maram makos I'm giving you giving you work to do now giving you prep so uh we will use this time to be mataking ourselves those of you who fast those of you who go to the tiken clly all those things like that more power to you for the rest of us simple folk let's just have at least the Consciousness during this time to be able to have a sense of honesty loyalty Fidelity in our relationship withes and that brings us to the question and answer portion of our program and the question and answer is sponsored in fact by our studio audience who are a little late on their queue but that's fine by and in honor of their daughter Ro Mitzvah and kavod because uh Bas Mitzvah is a time where a young lady recognizes the fact that she's becoming a member an adult member of kisel and she has her responsibilities I did an entire podcast on the concept of bar mitzvah most of those Concepts apply to a Bas Mitzvah too it's just in pink and uh you can go back and watch that podcast but uh but the idea of becoming an adult is a tremendous thing and it's strange because we live in a society that work Works to keep people not just childlike but infantile the gamar says that a father is obligated to well obligated he it's a bad thing if he doesn't support his son until his son is old enough to make it on his own how old is that five if he's a little slow six when I say this to people they are horrified is really I a six-year-old you bring him in there was a scene like this in um d David Copperfield you know where basically he says okay you're spoken for you know and gets him some job in a factory and sends him off you know and uh you know that's it it's six you say okay son it's time for you to make it on your own you know get out there in the big bad world says surely it's changed today I said yeah today it's in the 40s and that's because you're basically waiting for your dad to die so you can get the inheritance you understand so that's what's going to keep you going so um uh so in any event the the um uh the point is that when a person becomes an adult and assumes a sense of responsibility for clel that means a tremendous thing tremendous Sim and uh boys tend to do this today more ostentatiously than girls do that's because men are in general external men have to go to a minion they have to D in together it's team sports everyone yells yay you know and girls have no obligation we learn the laws of from who sits in the mishkan by herself talking to herself and A's like what's this what she she must be drunk why isn't she yelling like a man does why isn't she chanting you know doing a thing you know sitting there quietly talking to herself you know what I mean which by the way is uh something you see very often with women if you ever watch they're very often just sitting there going like this having these internal conversations you know men don't yeah we've talked about this many times as Jerry Seinfeld says I guess you women are wondering what we men are really thinking nothing anyway so uh big mazeltov and uh she chose to celebrate her basmi by coming to erel and she's only here for a week to be able to see the most important things so of course she came to watch the filming of the rabber I show because what better thing could there be to celebrate becoming a member of clly Isel in your fullest sense than to come and participate in the rabi olowski show so welcome and thank you and you should go and just have simus in your life okay and now we come to the questions by Yehuda Kravitz is it permissible to destroy is it permissible to destroy a cake in order to get a cute picture or a child on a child's first birthday okay um uh luckily most of my kids don't watch this the last thing I want to do is criticize my children yeah um that's not who I am yeah uh um I used to write a column in in the and I stopped after a while there's a number of reasons I stopped stop but the answer that I that I give people is I said cuz I don't have to write columns anymore I can sum it up like this don't say 90% of what you want to say yeah because 90% of what parents say are negative and 10% is positive and besides they're not listening to you anyway they just say the positive so I don't mean to criticize yeah of course you know uh so um uh even tempered and good-natured who you never hear complain who has the milk of hum kindness by the court in every vein anyway so I'd never say anything unpleasant yeah uh but yeah I think it's B I just I don't I I I don't get it so somebody said to me well we did it and then we ate the cake okay that's just disgusting I at least can understand it why because I would also in fact there was this famous scene in Seinfeld where um George was at this new girl's house who was you know dating and uh somebody had threw out half of an egg Clare and he was like well that looks perfectly good and he pulls it out of the garbage and eating it and the mother comes in and it was like you know horrible scene you know and uh eating out of a garbage you know and he tells it over to Jerry and Jerry says yeah I would say that's the divining point between a regular guy and a bum when you start eating out of a garbage can so he was interviewed once and he says the most Commons I get is on that scene says don't worry the garbage can was completely clean the egg CLA had not been eaten by anybody trust me that that garbage can was cleaner than anything in your house but every was horrified I at it out of that so after a one-year-old and I'm going to get this get this right out there most one-year-olds are not totet trained and their level of personal hygiene is not very high and the gamar speaks about a Tino who likes to play around in the garbage you know what I mean and uh and that they're automatically T because they're always playing with like you know dead dead things and disgusting stuff and the time of the gamar in fact um you know you've heard the expression you know if I say I just want the chicken head but I don't want the chicken to die so you can't say that because that's a pation of course it's going to happen so the gamar says why exactly do you want to cut off the chicken head and to give it to a kid to play with that is the Choy of choice is a dead chicken head a little kid will find every dead frog dead mouse it they just drawn to it like a magnet you know so here you have this one-year-old and he's sticking his little grime me hands and and this cake and you say okay everyone who wants a piece but okay okay I if if you know at least then you have uh you have something to say there was um a video uh with Lea schmelt where the beginning of the video is this guy is running into a store and he bangs into somebody and knocks over their eggs and you see their eggs broken on the ground and someone said I don't understand for the sake of a video you're allowed to do Bashas I never saw the answer to it I assume of course they were expired eggs I wouldn't that that he would be overas but you know but you see people do things and and uh you know you you wonder what they're doing you know um I remember in the play it was just before Y2K and then all the computer's going to come down so this guy comes out with a laptop and he's like tapping and goes I've come up with a solution to Y2K and he takes it and he throws it you know on the other side of the stage it was funny I said to him you just threw the laptop over there he goes it was broken don't worry about it um and uh and I remember Rabbi Risman um he was talking about the PK in SCH where nen Hani was giving David mus about Beva and he brings a mush about this guy who all he had was a sheep he says and he would keep the sheep on his lap and he would eat off of his own table so he says you're not allowed to serve people food to animals and that became the entire basis of the shear that was the great thing about R ryman's nav Shear is he starts with with some little point that related to the PK and he goes off in all directions it's it's a lot of fun and uh uh although his is very well structured I just have ADD but um uh so he said there was a picture of the Le yo giving a bowl of milk to a cat and there was a whole discussion is it Bas not Etc but as far as I can tell this is just straight Bashas and I don't understand it and here's a short question from someone who does not watch the entire s years of the rabbi olowski show and there are people there are people who have discovered the show and they go back and start watching it from the beginning and watch 7 years of me and I it's bad enough that I have to listen to myself for seven years how other people do this is amazing to me but okay although I have to say that if I had to listen to any Shear for seven years I'd rather listen to me so um by Anonymous who sings your catchy theme song We Love listening to it okay you got to go and look this up uh I have an episode where I uh introduce the um the theme song now uh I don't know until any time but because I can't get my stats there but on YouTube they have a thing of the most watched videos and among my most watched videos besides those about Christianity are the ones with singers in them so the ones with the Waterberry boys singing the one with Ari goldwag the one uh with uh Rabbi Fogo Garn originally from Australia now he's in Florida a little shout out um he um uh he has his Australian boy singing his shabas song that he wrote so they're among my most popular and uh niss black you know all the ones where I had singers on and so the one with Lenny Solomon who is a good friend of mine back from the old days and um speaking about you know his experience with Jewish music and schlock rock and things like that you know and uh he said as a sort of throwaway line you know what you really need a theme song I'm Gonna Write Your a theme song okay but uh you know I didn't put much CED in it but he took it seriously and so he wrote a song and uh he sent it in you know with him playing the piano singing this theme song which was composed and sung by Lenny Solomon and then producer M who always has a pendant for music went down and um got people to do orchestration and dubbed it in and made an entire music video out of it if you go to my website ri.com I'm pretty sure you can download the song and the music video if not you'll just have to do a search on it for the episode where we introduce the rowski theme song and uh uh shout out to Lenny Solomon who is uh wrote the theme song it is unbelievably catchy I find myself singing it sometimes also um although I can't always remember all the words but the rest of it is pretty good so uh so that's where the theme song comes from and definitely you can look up the episode and see the whole music video and in fact when uh M played it he filmed my reaction to it and I just have to say that this brought it uh to a whole new level and particularly for me because my mom had a lot of pet phrases you know and when evi would complain about something she would say to me oh that's your new theme song I just wish she had lived long enough that I could have said no Mom I have my own theme [Laughter] song and so as we end the podcast we'll of course end as we always do with Lenny Solomon's greatest hit I mean some of his song were good but this one is his greatest hit that rabi olowski theme song uh to to the show like I say somebody told me that they downloaded it as the ringer on their phone and it starts to play this way all the rowski crazies can gather together when they hear the the thing it's like a Morano's listening to the chauffeur during a concert you know on rashash but uh that's the idea uh to be able to have that so that's it uh for this episode till next time da da it's the rabbi olowski show uh you can find out more about the show on my uh website ri.com you can sponsor an episode you can sponsor a question answer you can sponsor a par five you can sign up for one of our online sh you can ask a question uh you can make a comment and uh that's it until next time I am damski and this has been the rabbi olsky show it's the rabbi orlovski show Torah and S ready to go the rabbi orovi show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhide no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on Rabbi ori. comom to anytime you two and more it's Rabbi orlovski show Tor and ready to go the rabbi orski show till next time till we meet again the rabbi orski show it's the rabbi orlovski show it's the rabbi orlovski show