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Do You Want To Build An Eigel? (Ep. 331)

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Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky avatar
Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky

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Hi, this is Rabbi Alonaski, and this is the Rabbi Alonaski Show. And whether you're watching with our friends and producers over at Torah Anytime or wherever you [music] watch and listen to your podcast, as always, we're happy to have you along. And don't forget to subscribe, share, uh comment, and uh and uh something else you're supposed to do. Like. And like, yeah. Uh whatever platform you're on. Apparently, Torah Anytime did a a little study and they found out that more people watch the Rabbi Alonaski Show on Torah Anytime than any place else. And they have, in fact, presented me with a plaque testifying that this past year, 2025, I had over a half a million views on Torah Anytime. And uh that's just such a disappointment, and I really don't know where you all are. Why aren't you spreading the word, making sure more people are with us? And by the way, that includes every now and then I go to America, and particularly I know in Lakewood, people say to me, "Oh, I love listening to the show. I call up. I don't have the internet. I call up." They Torah Anytime has a call up option. Apparently, YouTube does not. So, uh you know, uh this includes the people who are calling in to be able to listen to the show. And we're very excited and uh glad to have you along for the experience. And uh I have to mention my daughter who's uh starting to manage my career because uh she knows that I'm old and I'm forgetting everything. Um wants me to remind you about the merch section. Right now, we have mugs, uh sweatshirts, the Rabbi Alonaski apron, and uh we're happy to add on uh more items as you see fit. Uh and it has finally been set up, the buy me a coffee. Go to buymeacoffee.com/rabbialowsky and you can buy me a coffee. Because here I am every single show having to make my own coffee in my Rabbi Alansky mug. And if you buy me a coffee, I won't have to do that. I'll just buy you a coffee and put it into my Rabbi Alansky mug. So, please go there and buy me a coffee. I usually take it with like about a half a Splenda and uh, little bit of milk. All right? What we call regular. When uh, my father used to send me to buy him a cup of coffee when I was in the store. >> [laughter] >> I have to tell this story cuz it's it's one of the many traumas of my life. I was maybe 6 years old, maybe 7 years old. I was I came into the store with my father and he says, you know, go go to the luncheonette and get me a coffee. You know? He says uh, uh, two sugars and extra light. So, that's how I know that there's different gradations. So, I said extra light. So, he's the guy says, do you know what that means? And I said, no. He says, you can get a coffee black, dark, which is a little bit, regular, which is more milk, light, and extra light. My dad liked it extra light. So, uh, I take it regular, just so you should know. But, uh, I was maybe 5 or 6 years old and he says to me, go to the store and get me a coffee. And I said, I don't have any money. And he says to me, anyone can get coffee with money. And I just froze. I had no idea what he wanted from me. And then he handed me a dollar. Listen, that story is over 60 years old and every now and then I think of it again. Anyone can get a coffee with money. He was trying to tell me that stop and think, you know, what you're doing, how you're going to do it, are you going to do to face things. It It was so amazing. My father had his own particular method of giving little educational messages. My brother had just gotten his license. And uh as somebody once said, you get your license so that now you can learn how to drive. When you get a a driver's license, you don't know how to drive. If you drove the way they taught you in driver's ed with your hands at 10:00 and 2:00, driving between 18 and 23 miles an hour, checking your mirrors every 3 seconds, that's It's a small world ride. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da [singing] da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Like nobody drives like that. So then, once you have your license, you have to learn how to drive, you know? And uh I remember I had a girl in seminar, she said to me, "My father wouldn't let me borrow the car until we drove on the highway. You know, he came along with me and said, 'Put on your makeup while you're driving.'" And she's like, "What?" She goes, "I know you're going to do it anyway, so I just have to make sure you can control the car." >> [laughter] >> So when you first start to drive, you're like you're so so nervous, you know? And then after a while, you got a can of soda in one hand, the other hand is, you know, halfway out the window, you're like steering with your knee, you know, blasting music, you know? And you wonder why insurance rates are higher for teenagers. I don't wonder. But um um anyway, my my brother had just gotten his license, and my father's store was in downtown Brooklyn. Absolutely terrible. And they had to take some deliveries. It was a flower shop. He So he says to my brother, he'd just gotten his license, he says, "Uh take a kid with you and take these deliveries." You know, and he says, "Uh you have you have the directions over there, you know how to go." And he turns back to the counter. And I'm telling you, my brother turned white. Yeah, he he just gotten his license, he's got to drive in downtown Brooklyn, you know? He walked out, he was white, he was shaking. And my father's at the counter just like, you know, cutting flowers, you know, paying no attention. And after he leaves, he turns around, I happen to be there, he turns around and goes, "Oh my god, I hope he's all right." >> [laughter] >> Like he believed you. Had to You know, you got to just throw him in the deep water and let him swim, you know? So, so it's interesting. Anyone can get a coffee with with with money. Anyway, so if you have money, you can get me a coffee. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> And that's it in my Rabbi Alansky mug. Okay. Um And we have a sponsor for this week. You know, you may have caught on by now that I've spent more than one episode talking about presidents. And that's because somebody in honor of America's 250th anniversary, a quad millennia, I guess. I don't know. Uh you know, there's the quarter of a century. And and I guess there's a quarter of a millennium, 250 years. So, he's sponsored six episodes. So, this is the fifth episode um which we're going to talk about. And this one is in honor of President Donald J. Trump, the 45th and 47th president of the United States. He was born on June 14th, 1946 in New York City. Um I've spoken about Trump many times, but I will read you what is written here. Uh some describe President Trump as a combination of the popularism of Andrew Jackson, the tariff policy of William McKinley. He mentions McKinley a lot. Nobody else really mentions McKinley. Uh he's uh um uh not one of those presidents that come easily to mind. Doesn't have a holiday, etc. Anyway, the real politic of Richard Nixon and the entertainment skills of P.T. Barnum, who by the way was not a president of the United States. And they did make an inaccurate musical about his life. Leo Terrell, who heads the U.S. Department of Justice Task Force to combat anti-Semitism, called President Trump the best friend the Jewish-American community has ever had. That is not true. He's the best friend world Jewry has ever had. He is the most pro-Israel prime minister of Israel there's ever been. >> [laughter] >> I've I I I have my own personal feelings here. Uh, President Trump's father, Fred Trump, was a real estate developer in New York City who donated land to Brooklyn for a synagogue in the 1950s. President Trump donated money to the Beit El Yeshiva, the Rogozin Hasidic Yeshiva, and to Chabad. On October 8th, 2023, when he learned we learned that many of America's leading universities are hotbeds of anti-Semitism, the Trump administration withheld federal money from certain universities, demanded changes in their policies to protect Jewish students. And uh, there's another article here that lists some of President Trump's Jewish achievements. President Trump moved the American embassy to Jerusalem, something every president since 1990 said he's promised and had never never had done. I want to point this out that there was a resolution that was made to move the embassy to Jerusalem, and everybody said it's not time, it's not time, it's not time. And uh, Trump said, "There's been a resolution." And they said, "Yeah, but it's not time." He said, "It's been 20 years." When is it going to When is it It's 30 years. When is it going to be the right time? I'm doing it now. And he The way he tells the story, he says, "World leaders were calling me up to to tell me not to do it. I didn't take their calls." he says. >> [laughter] >> And here's the amazing thing. The Abraham Accords, one of the reasons they took place that Arab countries wanted to sign peace treaties with Israel was because Trump moved the embassy to Jerusalem. Because the feeling was America doesn't keep its word. It gives in to the extremist Arab countries like Iran. And so you you can't really trust America. When Trump kept his word, other Arab countries who are considered more moderate said, "Okay, we can work with this guy. Let's start the Abraham Accords." Um he recognized Israel's sovereignty over the Golan Heights. They're they're absolutely amazing. Reversing decades of American policy, he killed the Iran nuclear deal that Obama had used diplomatic capital construct and that Biden had sent spent 2 years trying to resurrect. We sent a plane load of cash to Iran. I I I I can't even understand what the story was. People said that Obama wanted to develop Iran as a counter-balance in the Middle East, but you you know these people are crazy. Like I Of all the things Obama have done that makes no sense to me, that's one of them. Um he recognized a form of Israel sovereignty in Judea and Samaria by declaring the American law does not prohibit civilian settlement there. That's big. They keep saying, "Oh, illegal settlements, illegal settlements." He He did away with that. He threatened the International Criminal Court with sanctions over its indictment of Israeli officials. He released weapon shipments that Biden had frozen. And in 2026 after bombing Iran's nuclear sites in 2025, he sent American bombers to strike Iranian nuclear facilities alongside Israel, the most consequential military action against Iran's nuclear pro- program. And included the killing of the supreme leader Khamenei. Uh you also left out over here the killing of Baghdadi, who was one of the major terrorists. And he's in the middle now of uh of uh working on negotiations in Lebanon, and Syria, and Saudi Arabia. It's just absolutely amazing. So uh so this episode uh he has sponsored in honor of President Trump and all of his good work on behalf of the Jewish people, and I can only echo those sentiments. Okay. Uh before we get down to uh business, I got a letter saying, you know, this happens every now and then. Someone says, "I just found the Rabbi Alonaski Show." You obviously are not among the half a million people who are watching on TorahAnytime or on any of our other platforms. And um by the way, wherever you are watching, it is kedai to subscribe. Because, you know, every now and then we're we're in the process of of uh offering more services. And this just started as you ever watched the very first episode, I was stay- sitting in the corner of my bedroom. Looked like a hostage video, you know what I mean? Until we uh we made things a little bit fancier, etc. We are expanding. We're going to be offering some special uh things to subscribers. So wherever you watch the Rabbi Alonaski Show, it is kedai to subscribe, so that you, you know, can get any kind of special things that we're going to offer, etc. And a lot more people are watching than are subscribing any place. So, it's kedai to subscribe. My daughter said to point that out. I don't know what any of that means, but you must know. Anyway, so um So, I uh Somebody commented, he goes, "I just found the show and went all the way back to the beginning, and I noticed you used to give recipes. You haven't given recipes in years." I don't know if that's true because I don't remember everything that I say, obviously. Yeah. Because uh People say, "I know you have that standard line where you say, I don't remember if I said this cuz it doesn't make a difference. Just say whatever you want to say, and and we're with you." I said, "Fine." But I haven't done recipes in a long time. That might very well be true. I was just thinking about that because we made for shooers one of the treats that we make sometimes, which is I make two different types of roll-ups. My wife calls it a meat burek or chicken burek. I call them roll-ups. It doesn't really make a difference. I'm going to tell you how to do it because like everything that I do, it's easy. I don't do it unless it's easy. Uh when I see something that's too complicated, I just walk away. Uh I will read recipes. I told you I do that for my entertainment. My wife gets all the fun publications, and I read the recipes just to reassure myself that the rest of the world is crazy. Not the rest of the world, the people sitting here spending 19 steps to do something simple. So, I remember I said to my wife I was looking at a recipe, and my wife didn't know how to cook when we got married cuz mother told her to just study and and do well in school, and my mother raised me to be a housewife. But I was looking at a recipe. I said, "Oh, you'd never do this." She goes, "Why do you say that?" I said, "Okay. Shell the almonds, blanch the almonds, peel the almonds, sliver the almonds, um brown the almonds. I go, "Okay, I'm done. If there's already five steps in the almonds, I'm not doing this." I said, "I told you. I would never do that. I would just buy, you know, uh toasted almonds and sprinkle it on top, you know? I got to knock myself out, you know?" So, uh I'm a big believer in making things uh easier rather than more complicated. But, um So, this is pretty easy. So, first is my meat roll-up or meat burek if you will. Um you need uh but sake a limb, which I believe in America they call filo dough. You get a roll of it. And you have to roll it out. So, I I put down a plastic and I put some flour down and it's a little messy, so whatever you're going to wear, you're going to get, you know, flour all over you. And roll it out cuz I know people who just use it and then it comes out so thick, it's ridiculous. You can't use it. You have to roll it out as thin as you can and still be able to use it. Yeah? And you take chopped meat and that you should be able to buy already chopped. If you're chopping your own meat, then you're in you you should not be listening to my recipes. >> [laughter] >> My mother used to grind her own fish for gefilte fish. Uh uh Slavin and Sons would come and deliver the fish and she'd grind it up herself, you know? That's not for me. Anyway, but uh and you put it in the middle. So, you have a rectangle that you rolled out and you lay down the chopped meat. Make sure not too close to the ends on either ends, on the margins or on the top, on the header and the footer, you know what I'm saying? Don't get too much. Keep it in the middle. Yeah? And flatten it down. And then make mashed potatoes. Now, do this beforehand cuz you don't want to do it when it's hot. Uh on the off chance you don't know how to make mashed potatoes, peel potatoes, cut them into small pieces, put them in a pot of water with some salt and boil them up until when you stick a fork in it, it's soft. Don't overcook them or they become a gummy. And then drain off the water, save the water, and then get a potato masher if you have it. If not, I guess you could use a fork or something, but it's harder. And you mash the potatoes. If they seem like they're true too hard or too dry, add some of the water from the pot in and mix it up. Anyway, wait for it to cool, yeah? And then after you put down your chopped meat, take some of the potatoes and put it on top of it. And then fold in the filo dough on both sides. There might be extra at the bottom, so cut it away cuz otherwise it comes out so thick you can't eat it. And then place it into a pan with some baking paper. And make as many as you want of these rolls. And then take an egg yolk. If you want, you could do what I usually do, which is I separate the egg. How do you separate an egg? You crack it and you hold the yolk in one end and you let the, you know, clear stuff drip down, the white of the egg. And then you pour it into the next side and let that drip down. You keep doing that until you only have the egg. Then you can save the egg white to use for something else. What I usually do is I keep it in the refrigerator and a week later I throw it away, but whatever works for you. Yeah, you can use it to make whip. There's a there's a great strawberry whip that you can make and, you know, some people make meringue. I've never been successful at making meringue cuz you have to whip it so that it's gets stiff and it never does. It just stays flat. So, I've never mastered that. You know those Pesach cakes where you have to like whip up the egg whites till they're flat. I can't do that. You have to to it up until it's fluffy and then fold stuff in. The whole thing collapses. I don't know. This is I've never ma- mastered that. I can't tell you how to do that. But, um uh you take that, add a little bit of water, but I would say about, you know, half the size of uh the yolk. You could even add as much as the yolk. Mix it up, take a pastry brush, and put it on top of the uh the roll up. And stick it in the oven at 350° until it turns brown. Delicious. Delicious. Very easy. This one is a little more complicated. All right? Um you're going to have to make a sauce. I don't usually do this, but it's so good. People rave about this that I'm I'm actually willing to go a little further. I wrote this down. Yeah? Melt 3 Tbsp of margarine. If you don't want to use margarine, you can use oil. And stir in 3 Tbsp of flour. And that's, I believe, called making a roux, if I'm not mistaken. Where uh a donkey named Eeyore is his friend, and Kanga and little Roo. Turns out that little Roo was actually a mixture of um of margarine and flour. I didn't know that. Then it says um 2 cups of chicken broth, 2 Tbsp of chicken soup mix, and 2 cups of water. And bring it to a boil. And you have to stir it in. And uh wait for it to cool. Wait for it to cool. This is very important. Cuz sometimes I forget that step, and then when I make it, everything falls apart cuz it gets all soggy. Wait for it to cool. Now, that's the amount you use for 1 and 1/2 cups of cooked chicken, and a third of a cup of chopped apple. I use more apple than that. Chop up apple, green apple. You know, uh um whatever the baking apples are they use. You know, um assume you can find them because apparently God didn't make little green apples. And uh >> [laughter] >> That's from the '60s, my friend. And uh you mix that in with the chicken and one small chopped onion. Now, I always end up with uh usually three times the amount cuz if you have boiled chicken and you take it apart, you know, you end up with more than that. But certainly uh if you have 2 and 1/2 cups, then obviously, you know, use a whole apple and use a medium-size onion and chop them all up and mix them in together. And then you pour the sauce on top and mix it well. Now, you roll out the pastry dough, you stack it up in the middle, and flatten it down. Don't get too close to the sides or to the edges. And then when you're done, you fold it over and uh from both sides and from the edges, cut off any extra that's there. Sometimes I miscalculate, full disclosure. Sometimes I miscalculate and I end up having it not fold over all the way in the middle because [clears throat] I'm not perfect yet. But luckily, the pieces that I cut off in the edge, I can usually lay them on top to seal the top if I have to. Put that into a baking sheet, you know, baking pan with uh um baking paper. And then do the egg wash on top. Both of these should be served with mushroom sauce. How do you make mushroom sauce? Go to the store, buy a little packet that says mushroom sauce, put it in a pan, and follow the directions. That's it. >> [laughter] >> You can make a mushroom sauce from scratch. And if you do, you clearly have too much time on your hands. So, not not for me. I'm happy to use a package of mushroom sauce. And uh both of these are winners. And people just love them. And uh it's uh uh it's something very special. Okay. So, gosh, look how much stuff we're catching up on, you know? Uh um interesting things. Uh let's get our bearings. Let's get our bearings. It's very important to know where we are. I've spoken about this. And that is if you we live in a world that is known as the time-space continuum. Which means we are limited by time and space. Where there is no olam outside of this physical world, there is no time and no space. That's why it's so difficult for us to grasp when we talk about infinity. Because we live within time and space. Can you picture an existence where there's no time and there's no space? You should have a bocher can cuz he's usually in a dorm where there's no space. Yeah, and there's not enough time to do everything you want to do. But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about there is no time and there is no space. So, we live in a world with time and space. And the way that we measure where we are is by using a map. And by the way, that doesn't matter if you're in outer space, either. You'd use a three-dimensional map. And uh time. So, we use a clock. And we use a calendar. They didn't always have clocks. Clocks were a later development. In fact, if you've ever heard the expression anachronism, that's where there's something from modern times that is in an ancient scene. So, for example, in uh Shakespeare's Julius Caesar just before they kill Caesar there's a uh clock you know, the clock chimes 12 or whatever it is. There were no clocks. They had candles that they would measure how it burned down. They had water clocks or sand clocks that would measure you know, how much was dripping down at a time. Uh they would use sundials. Uh these were these were means of being able to to keep it. But most of the time you just looked outside and looked at the at the sky. Right? That's why the amount of sucking it discusses whether you made a mistake between 9:00 and 10:00, 10:00 and 11:00. Well, what's reasonable that a person will make a difference between 11:00 and 1:00? So, cuz you're looking up at the sun. Based on the sun, that's where you might be make a mistake. Cuz that's how they told time. They told time by the by the sun. At night that was very difficult to do. And that's why the amount of brochos talks about the three ashmaros halayla. This is when the the dogs barked, this is when the donkey brays, you know, the different ways of trying to figure out where the night is cuz can't look up at the sun. Yeah. Um so I remember back in the 70s when they used to tell Polish jokes. Yeah. Um to make fun of people being stupid, they would use Polish jokes. So, one of them was there was an international race to get after the Americans land on the moon. So, Russia was planning to go to Mars. And China was making a trip to go to Venus. And Poland said, "We're going to go to the sun." And they said, "How are you going to do that? You're going to get burnt up." And they said, "We're going to go at night." So, that's of course ridiculous because you can't see the sun at night, so how are you going to get there? Anyway, so um that's one of those jokes where it's supposed to be stupid, but turns out it's what they call in Hebrew hafucha hafucha, you know? The famous story like that where this uh priest was forcing the Jews to debate him, and anyone who could ask the other one a question, and they don't know the answer, so the other side loses. And it's usually in these stories the the the know the Jews would have to convert or or be exiled. And And uh if they won, then they'd be freed from the Jewish taxes. Whatever it was, something like that, you know. So, the Jews were terrified cuz they didn't want to have to face this guy. So, this one simple Yid says, "You know what? Let me do it. I'll I'll debate him. And uh and if I win, so we're good. If I lose, you'd say he doesn't represent us. He's am aritz." So, they figure, "Well, we got nothing to lose." So, they go in there, and he looks at the priest, and he says, "What does the phrase ani lo yodea mean?" And he goes, "I don't know." Eh, that's it. He lost the debate. >> [laughter] >> And he was like, "But, but, but, but." He said, "Whoever says I don't know loses." So, they come over to this guy, "You have to tell us this. That was brilliant. How did you think that up?" He says, "Cuz when I was in cheder, I asked the rebbe, 'What does ani lo yodea mean?' And he says, 'I don't know.' And I figured if my rebbe didn't know, certainly this priest won't know." >> [laughter] >> So, sometimes you don't really know where it's going. Anyway, so uh so they would use a clock with some way of telling you what day usually was the sun. But otherwise they had a calendar. And everybody had calendars, right? The Mayans had calendars, the Babylonians had calendars, you know, everybody had ways of telling time because except for a week a day and a month and a year are all based on absolutes. Yeah? The a day is how long it takes the earth to uh rotate on its axis. A month is how long it takes the moon to revolve around the earth. A year is how long it takes the earth to revolve around the sun. So these are things that everybody could notice and and see. So um everybody had calendars. So when you use a calendar it helps you get a bearing of where you are. And so the Jewish year starts in Nissan. So where did we go in the calendar? Right? So we came out of Egypt on the 15th of Nissan. We got the Torah on the 6th of Sivan. And then Moshe Rabbeinu went up for 40 days and 40 nights and came down with the Luchos. And saw that in the meantime we had been busy, we made a golden calf. And so he smashed the tablets. He goes up 40 days and 40 nights to get God to forgive us. And then he goes up another 40 days and 40 nights to get the second tablets, the second Luchos. He goes up on Rosh Chodesh Elul and he comes down on Yom Kippur. That's how the year is going. So there are still malls. They're closing down. Uh when they originally built malls, they made them the size of three city blocks because they felt that was as far as people, when they go shopping in the city, will walk. Three blocks. So, they made malls three blocks and you go back and forth. A lot of malls are closing down. I I don't know how any retail place stays open. Um, me and my wife try to go to the Kotel at least once a month, around Rosh Chodesh. And I park in Mamilla and we walk through Mamilla and then we walk through the Arab souk. And uh, some people think it's dangerous and I know that especially when it's hot, it's covered over and uh, there's a lot of police there, etc. And I also know that our last kiss don't die in terrorist attacks. We we die of diabetes and heart disease. That's how we've gone for years. That's how I expect to go. So, I'm not afraid. You know, we go to the Kotel and then we make our way back. And it's uh, it's relatively pleasant. But as I'm walking through Mamilla, I'm looking at all these stores and I'm thinking to myself, these rents have to be unbelievable. And there's a clothing store there. How How many clothes do you have to sell Yeah? In order to uh, cover your rent? What What could be your profit margin exactly? I can't figure it out. There's a houseware store there. I don't know. I How many How many pots and pans How many little kitchen gadgets are you selling that you can afford? I don't know. Um, Yitzy Shapiro, who was on the show and uh, uh, shout out to his son Elatan, who's getting married. Mazel tov, Elatan. Yeah. And uh, to Yitzy. So Yitzy told me that he used to buy his instruments at Sam Ash music store. And then he went to go to Sam Ash and then all the stores closed down. They're only online. So he reached out to them and said why? He says because people would come into Sam Ash. They would try out the different instruments and then they would go home and order it online. So what do I need a store for? Let them order it for me. So So I don't know how retail is staying open. I obviously is catering to people like me. I'm old. I don't know how the internet works. I would never buy anything on the internet because I'm sure I'm going to a scam site and I'm getting ripped off and you know. So my kids are like, "No, you just buy it in like three sizes and if you don't like it, you package it and send it back." I've never figured out how to package anything and send it back. My whole life I've never been able to do that. I remember when I was a kid they had the the Columbia music club, you know, they give you four records for like 10 cents and then they send you a new record every month and you could stop it or send it back. But I didn't know how to do that. So you end up paying a million dollars over a year for a bunch of records that [laughter] you don't want. >> [gasps] >> So So I'm not going to order three things on Amazon and send it back. What am I going to do with that? Doesn't make any sense to me. I don't I don't I I can't understand this whole model. I want to go and look at what I'm buying, try it on, look, feel it, see it, look at it, you know, compare it. Even then I can't always manage. I went to IKEA one time in my life. I don't remember why. I was with my wife. I said, "Oh, we're going to go to IKEA." You can't get out of IKEA. It's a trap. >> [laughter] >> You have to walk through all of IKEA, which is about 300 miles, just to be able to get out to the exit. And you're walking here and you're walking there, you know, and they want you to see everything because since the nobody goes to IKEA to buy anything they need, well, we're going to create a sense of want and you're looking at it and think, "Oh, I could use that." You know. So, I actually bought something in IKEA when we were there. I bought a little stand for my cell phone. So, when I'm doing a Zoom shear on my phone, I can put it into the little stand as opposed to trying to find something to lean it against. And that was my major purchase. I have no idea where it is. Every time I go to give a shear, I can never find it. >> [laughter] >> That's the problem with reading glasses, someone said to me. Because if you're old enough that you need reading glasses, you're too old to remember where you put them. So, everybody buys themselves like 12 pairs of reading glasses. So, I have one next to my bed. I have one by my by my computer. I have one that I I keep uh in my pocket. I have one in the bathroom. I I I keep them in different strategic locations and hopefully I can find one of them when I actually need them. So, you go through IKEA and I come to a section where there's office chairs. Now, maybe 30 years ago, yeah, one of my kids brought me an office chair uh to keep near my computer. The the the the arm is broken off, the seat is crushed down, the cushion is terribly uncomfortable. And right now, two of the five wheels have broken off and it's like drag it around, etc. So, I have to get a new one. So, I'm in IKEA and then I'm in the um office chair section. And I'm like, "Wow, this is great." And I sat in about six chairs. And my wife said, "Which one are you going to get?" I said, "I have no idea. I don't know how to make this decision." >> [laughter] >> And I left and I just saw sitting in the broken chair. But um uh so I I there's to have to make this but I want to see for myself. Imagine I had to buy it online. I don't even know what they are. I didn't sit in anything. How do you know? Yeah. And uh what's interesting is the most expensive item is not necessarily the best quality. Which is good to know. So how do you figure out which one to buy? I mean But in any event, I mean eventually I got out of IKEA. That was uh I I went to IKEA uh let me see it was about 3 years ago and I got out yesterday. But anyway, but um uh you know, but to just get online and order stuff? So I don't even know how malls are staying open, you know? And the answer is a lot of they're closing down and a lot of like anchor stores are closing down. JCPenney closed down, Sears closed down. Um you know, uh Macy's keeps closing down different locations. Um because why would anybody go and buy retail? I A friend of mine, Rabbi Samuel, who I've had this close for speaking for in Los Angeles many times, he's now in Las Vegas. He moved from from LA to Las Vegas. He took a gamble. >> [laughter] >> Anyway, so he told me he says my grandson was in Little League and he needed something and I went to the store and they didn't have that in stock. Cuz how much can you keep in stock? He says so I had no choice. I went home and I ordered it online. I wanted to buy it in the store. I couldn't cuz you know, you can't keep everything in stock. That's why full disclosure, the Rabbi Wolowski merch when you order it, they make it on the spot. They make it to order. And they send it off. But uh um you know, I I'm looking at all these retail stores. How are they staying open? How are things How are things still going? Yeah. So, the point is that when they built the mall originally, they based it on how far people were willing to walk in order to go shopping. Just uh walk three blocks. More than that, you couldn't really expect people. So, when it comes to where you are, you have to know how much can I expect of people. Where are they going and what Ad Khan here I will go. Past that, I'm not going to go. So, you always have to know where you are. Just like in distance, this is as far as I'm going to go. You have to know where I am in time the same way as I'm measuring it. So, where are we now? Now that I've set up where we're going this from now from Pesach till Yom Kippur, we can go from there into Sukkot, but let's stop over there cuz that's the That is the process. We left Mitzrayim to go to Har Sinai and Hashem told that to Mosha right at the beginning that the reason I'm taking them out of Egypt is to take them to Har Sinai and give them the Torah. And then you had 40 days, 40 days, and 40 days. And that brings us to Yom Kippur. So, where are we now? So, I brought up malls. Why did I bring up malls? Cuz when you go to a mall, yeah, there's this big map and there's a little arrow that says you are here. So, that's the reason I gave you a little history of malls because I know there's going to come a point where I'm not going to be able to use this muscle anymore. Yeah? Where used to be those big maps and be the little little arrow, you are here. I understand now they don't even have that anymore. You have to like download the map on your phone and then, you know, etc., you know. I've been to malls where they were interactive and you have to like push the little map and find the stores, but I'm I still remember when there were malls that'd be that big thing in the little arrow you are here. I'm I'm having, you know, I have to use these cuz like when you tell us a kid today who keeps repeating himself, you sound like a broken record, they have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah? Um somebody told me that he was pulled up to somebody, you know, at a light and he wanted to ask the guy a question and he went like this. And the guy's looking at him and he's like So finally he lowers his window. He says, "Mah." He says, "What what did you want?" He goes, "I wanted you to lower your window." He goes, "What's this?" He says, "You know, crank down the window." He says, "They haven't been cranks in cars in 40 years. You go like this." >> [laughter] >> So more and more of my references I remember the last time I spoke to an audience where they got all of my references was in Century City. You know, I mean, uh everybody was I said Century Village. I don't know. An old old age group in Boca Raton. They got every one of my references. >> [laughter] >> A lot of people have no idea. I was speaking once in a yeshiva and I know I I made some reference to Jimmy Durante. It was just an offhand remark and everybody starts laughing and I said, "Why are you laughing? You never heard of Jimmy Durante. You have no idea what I'm talking about." It's just I have a khazaka that I'm funny. So if I say something everyone knows it must be funny. Yeah? So he's [laughter] throwing it me if I don't get it. But anyway, so if we take the big map in the mall, where are you now? Right? Are you near Sam Ash Music? Are you near um uh Brookstone's which sells the coolest stuff and I've never seen anyone buy anything in that store? >> [laughter] >> Are you in Forever 21? Or is it Yeah, I think it's Forever 21. I don't know. These These stores I don't know who goes these things. How do they stay open, you know? Every now and then I'll go into Brooks Brothers. I'll look at all the prices and then I'll walk out, but I enjoy just walking around. It has a nice smell to it. >> [laughter] >> Couldn't buy anything there, you know? I remember when the mall opened here in Jerusalem, yeah. So, we would take the kids there on Holon and we'd walk around, we'd look at everything, you know? And after a few years of this, one of my kids said, "You know, my friends actually buy things there." I said, "What? That's ridiculous. The place is so expensive. Why would you do that, you know?" >> [laughter] >> To us it was just like Disneyland. Walk around the mall. Woo, look at this. >> [laughter] >> And it's not a very big mall. I took my kids when when we came to America once on a trip to a small mall and they were like, "Oh my gosh, there's nothing like this in Israel. This is enormous, you know?" So, forget about Roosevelt Field, you know? But, um where are we now? We are in between the time from Shavuot to Shiv'ah Asar B'Tammuz. We are down waiting for Moshe to come down with the Luchos. And if history repeats itself as it has for the past 3,300 years, when Moshe comes down with those Luchos, he's going to find us worshipping a golden calf. That's how it's gone for 3,300 years. And each time you think we're going to learn and this year will be different. And I said to her, "This time it will be different." I said to her, "I heard that lines before." Yeah. We keep making the same mistakes. I believe even once said about the Palestinians, they never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity, and the same could be said about us. Uh we keep making the same mistakes. Had Moshe Rabbeinu come down with those Luchos, and we would have gotten those Luchos, say the Chazal. Atik ruach charus al Luchos, al achairus al Luchos. Not carved into the tablets, but freedom on the tablets. Freedom from death, freedom from forgetting, freedom from the yetzer hara. I mean, that's it. Game over. That would have been it if we got those first Luchos, and they broke, and we never got them. If we had, that would have been it. We would have entered into a new existence. And so, right now, at this time of year, we're making a decision. Are we going to make the same mistake that we've made for the past thousands of years, or are we going to wake up and change? As Winston Churchill said, man will occasionally stumble upon the truth, but he usually picks himself up and keeps going. So, here's our opportunity. I uh I've been doing programs on Tisha B'Av for many years, because to be able to sit on the floor a whole Tisha B'Av morning and say Kinnos, which is very hard Hebrew poetry, and find it meaningful, is difficult for our generation. So, we'd speak about the Kinnos and develop some of the themes and say the Kinnos together. It's very meaningful. And almost every year, people come over to me and say, "This was the most meaningful Tisha B'Av I ever had. I can't wait till next year." So, we're doing something wrong. Now, if if if Tisha B'Av, sitting on the ground and mourning, is something we come to look forward to, we're just used to it. I met somebody once who said to me, "I hate Tisha B'Av. I hate the whole thing. I hate sitting on the floor. I hate fasting. I hate the kinot. I hate everything about it." I said, "Well, you know, you could do teshuvah, and then you won't have to do this anymore." And he's like, "Yeah, that's okay. It's not so bad." >> [laughter] >> If the If the alternative is doing teshuvah, then forget about it. I'm I'm okay just where I am. So, um we're in a moment of decision, as we often are in life, and we have to decide, are we going to uh make the same mistakes over and over again, as people often do in life, and often do year by year, century by century, millennia by millennia? Or are we finally going to wake up and change who we are and how we live our lives? That is the decision we're going to make now. A special bonus, because my good friend Reb Dovid, who built the new bookcase, happens to be here, and uh I said, "I have to have him on the show." So, welcome to the Rabbi Alansky Show. >> Thank you very much. >> [applause] >> Now, if people This is mind-blowing, cuz I know there are people like you out there, but I don't know I don't know who they are. You don't have any American parents. You It's full Israeli. And yet, you understand English well, and you didn't like you didn't live in America, you didn't do it. You just picked up English along the way, and you're able to follow this show. >> Yeah, from the How's that possible? >> [laughter] >> I know a lot of people who speak English and they can't follow this show. >> I became curious. And I studied the letters. And then year by year, I watched some movies, I read some books. >> You get You get all like the references and things that they make? >> Sometimes. Most of the time Now most of the time. >> Oh, wow. That's pretty impressive. Even even the English speakers don't get most of my references. So, anyway, you had such a fascinating story. I was hoping that you would just share it. How you ended up where you are today cuz you had such an interesting journey. You know, you're originally from Kfar Chabad. >> No, I'm originally from Katzrin in the Golan Heights. >> Katzrin? >> Yeah. My mother grew up in Kfar Chabad. >> Right. Right. >> In a Chabad family. And my father had a bitshuva after his military service. And he learned in Chabad in Migdal HaEmek. And after they got married, Lubavitcher Rebbe sent them to the Golan. And I grew up there. >> Wow. Well, it worked out well cuz your mom was from there anyway. From the Golan Heights. >> No, my mom grew up in Kfar Chabad. >> Oh, so your dad was from the Golan? Who came from the Golan? Nobody came from the Golan. >> No. >> Your dad was from where? >> They They like They after after they got married, they wanted to open a Chabad house and they had they looked around and they had a few options and they said it to the Rebbe and he chose the Golan. >> That's That's lucky. They could have ended up in Uganda. >> [laughter] >> You know. That's uh That's it. When I was in Chofetz Chaim, they used to the Yeshiva would encourage guys to take certain branches and they were like Please don't send me, you know, I I can't imagine the town but I met this one guy and he says he's sending me to play it some place in the middle of nowhere, you know. So, he says, "You don't have to go, but like, you know, it's strong suggestion, yeah?" So, how is it growing up in the Golan? Probably not a lot to do there. >> Yeah, very little uh people there. >> I went to all three stores. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, now there is four. >> It's four? I used to When I used to stay in the Kinar, so I would sometimes go up to Katzrin, and it was like, that's it. There's just that one little shopping area there, you know? >> It's a bit bigger now, but still 8,000 people, something like that. >> Wow. >> growing very slowly. >> Right. I live in Hadera, we have 40,000, so >> Oh, yeah, in one neighborhood. >> mountain over here. >> [laughter] >> But uh >> No, there's a little shopping area, and then there's a mall. There's an actual mall. It's very exciting. >> Yeah. And a lot of fun. I spent a week there one day. But it's an old joke. Anyway, so yeah, so you were in the army? >> Yeah, I I went to uh Habat Yeshiva. And then I became a little bit less religious, and I went to the army. Uh I was a truck driver, and then I was a like sergeant of like a platoon of uh drivers, like logistic platoon. >> Sure. >> And after the military, I started working at a wood shop. And then construction. >> You had no experience in carpentry, did >> No, I didn't have any. >> No. >> My father is a really handy man, so he taught me a little bit, you know, using a hammer, using a drill. >> My father was a handy man, too. He used to say, "You want to help? Don't help." >> [laughter] >> That's what my dad used to tell me. I remember a plumber came once, and he said, "Did you try to fix this?" Cuz he had cuz anytime you try to fix it, it's going to cost you twice as much, cuz you just mess everything up. So, he says, "If there's a problem, just turn off the water, and wait till I get there cuz whatever you do makes it worse." So, So, uh oh good. So, you were handy at this. And then uh now you have your own business. >> I have own business for a few years, about 4 years. >> Up in Katzrin? >> I started at the Lod. We lived there and I met my wife and we got married and we lived in Lod. I worked there for a few years there and then the children started to grow up. We wanted them to grow up in a little more uh positive environment. >> Right. >> So, I haven't heard the Arabic music and the >> [laughter] >> in in three in the morning. >> was there was big riots there not so long ago. >> Yeah, I mean we were there when it happened. Yeah, it was a bit crazy. And I had like an old beat-up pickup truck. So, they they were there was like a riot uh uh Jews that came all around and made like a group of people and they thought I'm an Arab. So, they surrounded me and it was a bit funny. >> [laughter] >> They were like, "Say something. Say something." They wanted to hear my Israeli accent. [laughter] So, say something. >> Yeah, but you can always tell cuz the Arabs always shave the side of their heads. So, they're always easy to spot, you know? >> Yeah, uh some of them. The young ones easier to spot. >> Yeah. >> But it was like a >> Oh, so the knife gives it away. >> Like one time I was I was waiting in a roundabout for the car to to move so I can enter the roundabout and the the the car that was crossing the roundabout the back window was open and a hand with a gun was like pointing at me while the car was taking the round and he shot the window and the car drove. No reason. >> Shot you? >> No, he was like pointing the gun. Pointing the gun at me while the car driving around the roundabout. I just drove off. No reason or nothing. >> didn't stop. >> Yeah, yeah. Just uh a uh things happen there. So, the Golan is very quiet. >> But, you know, so but now you're based in in the Golan. >> Yeah, in Katzrin. >> But, you told me you're doing uh you you said the other day you were doing jobs in other places around the country. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, how do people find out about this? >> Uh I had I made a connection with some like a bigger contractors. And they uh they take like big jobs and they separate it to smaller jobs and give it to smaller contractors like me. And uh some clients hear about me and found me and found me. So, I did some jobs for people. >> Well, we have an ongoing advertisement now because this is the bookcase that you built for us. And this is the new official background of the Rabbi Alansky Show. So, if anybody in Israel wanted to get a hold of you for any carpentry work, how would they reach you? >> I have a Facebook page. Not really busy, but uh it's easy it's easy to to cut wood and use the computer to >> [laughter] >> to advertise this. So, uh there is some pictures of my work. And I have my number. I I I'm available in WhatsApp as you as you know. >> All right, we're going to post the Oh, say the number. >> Okay, my number is I will say it in Hebrew because it's uh >> A private number? >> No, I will say it in Hebrew because it's uh >> Yeah, that's okay. People usually do numbers in their own language. Go ahead. >> 054 >> 835 >> 8365 >> [laughter] >> 5829 >> 69 >> Yeah. >> Okay. If you're outside the country, then they call me directly. I'll put you in touch with him. But, otherwise, that's a that's a cell phone number if you're in Israel. I don't think he really goes around the world. >> If you're willing going fly me over. >> [laughter] >> If you want to fly him over to build something for you in Monsey, Lakewood, Brooklyn, he is available. >> [laughter] >> Uh the summer in Israel is tough, so somewhere cold. >> Yeah. >> In August, it will be fine. >> Oh, absolutely. By the way, if you're in Florida during the winter and you'd like to bring him down, he's available. >> [laughter] >> Also, I do speaking. Anyway, so uh what we've done with this is unbelievable. I wanted everyone to have the chance to see we we mentioned about the bookcase earlier episode, but it was just siata dishmaya, as they say in English, serendipity, that you happen to be here. So, uh thank you again on my behalf, on behalf of uh everybody who watches the Rabbi Ullman's ski show, because everyone was just waiting for that episode when the bookcase would collapse >> [laughter] >> and bury me under hundreds of pounds of Seforim. So, I'm still alive today because of you. >> [laughter] >> All right. Thank you very much. >> Thank you. >> Okay, producer Ari sent me an appreciation comment, and then there's another one I want to read personally that I received. Thank you for reading our previous poem. We cried tears of joys as we listened at home. This is a poem, by the way. An honor as such we have rarely received. The nachas we feel is hard to believe. Our gratitude great, our antagonism small. We think the show's great, unlike Islam and Paul. [laughter] A little little comparative religion joke there, yeah? Due to our loyalty, which is so great, if you told us to come to Veseekin, we'd be early rather than late. For the show that you have made lights up our lives, unlike bees, unlike cows, and unlike painful hives. I guess it's lives. Think about lives. And therefore, we say thank you all so much for your show, which is fantastic and amazing and wonderful and not stumpish. Oh, no. And nothing rhymes with much that we can come up with. Uh touch. Um such. Um hutch. Anyway. Don't don't I'm a poet and I don't even know it. Anyway, but hopefully you get the point as such. Tiskel and Mistel the Society of Praise, Thanks, and Excellent Poetry to Rabbi Laskin. Thank you very much for that. And uh here is a uh letter. I I don't know if he wrote this to me personally, if he wants his name mentioned or not, so I'm going to leave it off because the last time I mentioned somebody's name they got very upset, but I think I I I was just I listen to this and you'll see. Good morning, Rabbi Laskin. I've been pushing off writing this email for the longest time. After listening to the Torah anytime to the question and answer called, "How do you come up with chiddushim?" Fascinating. And I explained, I get it from Chumash and Rashi. Thank you first for answering my question. However, my main reason that I'm reaching out to you is to thank you for the answer because I did exactly what you said. You know, I'm always surprised when people actually listen to me. I bought an ArtScroll Chumash Vayikra with big letters. You answered the question parshas Vayakel Pekudei, so this was for Vayikra. Now I bought one for Bamidbar. I learned the entire sefer of Vayikra with every Rashi. Shmini, I learned twice cuz there were 2 weeks to learn it. I never ever completed an entire sefer. I learned many times Chumash and Rashi, but never made it through the whole parsha. And it wasn't even hard. It was such a pleasure. It became my favorite shiur that I learn every day. Such a simple idea as counting the pages is just so brilliant. In the past, I would do it by prakim or aliyahs, but the day I had the least time would come out to be when I needed to learn the biggest part. For those who didn't see it, I suggested that instead of doing it by aliyahs or by prakim, we'd see how many pages in the parsha of Chumash and Rashi there are, divided into five, and learn one every day. In this way, you have 2 days left in case you fall behind. I always loved Chumash and Rashi, only practically I was never able to make it happen consistently. I just can't thank you enough. Interestingly, the hardest Chumash for me was the last part of the Chukasai. I know korbanos are considered hard, but I happened to enjoy it. Um uh I don't know it's interesting. Uh Oh, so wow, he's saying his korbanos wasn't so hard as when you reach the end with Erchin and with a beam payda, um hekdesh and things like that. I didn't come up with any chiddushim as you said. I was focused on understanding the text. I didn't even have questions. That's what I said. It takes three times of doing this till it starts to jump out at you. One chiddush I did think of, Rashi says the Maggid Dev was the son that was born to the Mitzri that Mosha killed, and that his mother was a zona, and she was pretty much guilty in attracting this Mitzri. I always pictured the story as a nebach Yiddish woman went through such a terrible situation, and Mosha had rachmanus and killed the Mitzri. But now I learned something fascinating. Mosha Rabbeinu was moser nefesh to kill the Mitzri to save even the lowest of Klal Yisrael, which it could be that it didn't bother me too much. That's who our leaders were. Signing off with a heart filled with tremendous hakaras hatov. So, baruch Hashem, every now and then we do some good things here in the show. We help people to make practical changes in their lives. And that's it for this episode. If you want to find out more about the show, you can go to my website, rabbiorlovsky.com. You can sponsor a episode, you can sponsor Parsha in 5, you can sponsor question and answer. You can sign up for an online [music] shiur. You can buy me a cup of coffee. Cheers. You can go to my merch store. You can go to my recipe section. Right? I got to pull together well, different recipes that I mentioned there and they're over there written out in uh easy to read English and pictures that do not resemble the dish that I make in any way, shape or form. I just looked at it today to see if I ever mentioned my chicken roll. Anyway, that's it for this show, this episode. Until next time, I am Rabbi Orlovsky and this is the Rabbi Orlovsky Show. >> It's the Rabbi Orlovsky Show. Torah and simcha, ready [music] to go. It's the Rabbi Orlovsky Show. Knowledge and wisdom will help you Lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme, though we don't. >> [music] >> It's the Rabbi Orlovsky Show. rabbiorlovsky.com Torah anytime, [music] YouTube and more. It's the Rabbi Orlovsky Show. Torah and simcha, ready to go. It's the Rabbi [music] Orlovsky Show. Till next time, till we meet again. It's the Rabbi Orlovsky Show. It's the Rabbi Orlovsky Show.