Legitimate Criticism (Ep. 320)

Hi, this is Dowski [music] and welcome to the Reowski show. And whether you're [music] watching with our friends and producers over at Torah Any Time or wherever you watch or listen to your podcast, as always, it's great to have you along. And if it applies, do not forget to subscribe, share, comment, and like. There you go. I got them all down. [laughter] Very good. And we have a sponsor of this week's episode, Gary. and Mali Gartenberg in memory of Elazen Abraham who your site is Roshesh Nissan Pinman Benv Harris who is the second of Nissan and Yahushua Shm Shepsel who is the fifth of Nissan. So, uh, the last one particularly significant because that's my brother. Um, maybe I'll just take a moment. Yeah. Yahosua, uh, is of course the name that they decided was his name, but it's not. [laughter] I don't know, he's going to get into trouble for this, but it's not his name. I know cuz I sat down with my father once and I went through everybody in the family's name and for the most part a lot of the names come from my father's mother's side the dubners and uh Jason's name was Yishayahu Shepsel now they changed it to Yahushua because my father used to say it was Shia so when He started in Hebrew school, they said Shia, well, that must be Yahushua. But it's not. Shia is Yeshua. And uh otherwise, it would be Shui or or if it was if it was Yahushua, it was Yeshua. And it makes sense because my mother's father died when my mother was a teenager. So, it makes sense they would name their first son for him. And his name was Yishayu Nasan. I saw a picture of the mata. I saw my mother's kuva. It was Yishayu Nosan. So his name was Yisha Yahu. And somehow in Hebrew school they changed it to Yahosua. And uh there is no in our family on all four sides. There's no there's a Shepsil. And I remember my father had told me his name was Shia Shepsil. And uh that's uh that's from the Dubna side and uh that's his name, but they go with the oshu. So all I'm doing is uh is adding that in. And an important announcement. You asked for it. It's here. Yeah. Uh we have finally started to produce merch. [laughter] Someone said to me, "I don't think there's another rabbi out there who has merch." That's true, but there's a lot of things that I do that other rabbis don't do. [laughter] I have over the years had people say to me, "Are you a real rabbi?" [laughter] Yes, I am. And I have merch. So, uh, if you want to go to my, uh, merch store, you can go to rebriolowski.com/merch, and you can buy, uh, Rabiolowski mug. They're going to have Rabiowski apron, Rabiolowski shirts and and sweatshirts and all kinds of nifty stuff. So, I'm sure you want to go and check that out. Now, regular listeners uh or watchers of the Rabiowski show know uh that um I don't shy away for controversial subjects. I will deal with topics that most people will not deal with. I don't like to play it safe and if I think something needs to be said, I will say it. Uh, I think I think I've more or less established uh that over the years that I've been doing this podcast. If there's something that I think needs to be said, I'll say it. And I might come out to upset people on the right and I might come out to upset people on the left. I might come out to upset just people in general. And that's what apparently I did. [laughter] I'd like to read you two emails. Yeah. Um, the fir here's the first one. The second one mitigates a little bit, but you'll hear it. I'm sorry if I'm not that coherent when writing this. I just watched the episode and you were reviewing the ideas of Mashallah in what appeared to be a very demeaning, mocking manner. To be clear, [snorts] it was. How do you know that aren't hurting the people who wrote down those ideas or why they wrote them down? Do you know that they aren't almon orim? The was extremely upset when a fellow RV insulted somebody's soup. Why do people feel the need to say something bad or mocking about someone else's food creations? Are you going to pay their salary and the magazine's expenses to put together a collection of normal recipes that won't attract buyers? You very often mention that people were maza you and how hard hurt you were about it. You should show more concern about pain you might be putting others through, especially if you might be hurting someone's paranosa. Uh, full disclosure, I'm not upset when people are maza me. Uh, I'm upset that people will watch my podcast and then, uh, just write a whole bunch of nasty comments, which I don't know what they do. I don't I don't know what your what your agenda is when you write a bunch of nasty comments uh, afterwards. And like I say, not a critique. This letter, by the way, is a critique. I have no problem with a critique. I mentioned that last episode when I when I read one of the comments and they say how, you know, I often criticize and comment. Criticize and comment. This is a criticism. That's okay. I'm not making fun uh and insulting people. I am criticizing. And that's a difference. It's a difference between criticizing and insulting. Also on rewatch, you said you weren't going to say the magazines they came from, but the camera makes it clearly visible when at least some of them were from. I don't know how that happened exactly cuz I kept them folded open, but if so, for full disclosure, they wrote it publicly. This is not a private email. This is not a private conversation. the I didn't mention the magazines just because I didn't want to but not because it's user. If somebody stands up in a public share and makes a statement and you respond to that, that's for sure not user cuz the person said it publicly. These magazines printed this publicly. It's available for everybody. So there's no isser over here. I just tried to go out of my way and if uh if it got out there Okay. Okay. It's not it's not an isser. I just want to be clear about that. So even if you're completely wrong about everything else and you receive permission, that was wrong. I don't need permission. I don't need permission to read an article from a magazine. I don't. Yeah. Now, that that was his first email. Then he sent a follow-up email. I'm sorry if my previous message was hurtful, but I felt it needed to be said. The truth is I respect you and I'm going to continue to watch slash listen to the show and I wouldn't have sent a message if I didn't think you had enough character to appreciate it. There's a lot of people that watch and you have a big influence on people hashem and I appreciate the criticism. I think I think you could have said it nicer and I think you know that and that's why when you started off by saying that I'm not so coherent when I'm writing this. I'm sure uh that if you uh had rewritten it a couple of times, I'm sure it would have come out sounding less harsh. But the criticism is criticism, and I'm not afraid of criticism, and I'm okay with that. And uh and and the issue that you're raising is an important issue, and and it's one that has to be raised. There are times when I will speak and people and I consider myself a social critic. I I I accept that. I'm I'm happy to point it out and to say that when I see problems in the firm community, I will criticize it. Now, to be fair, if I see problems in society at large, I'll mention it. If I see problems in uh you know Israeli society, American society, you know, in the school, whatever it is, I will talk about it. [snorts] And uh I have had from time to time when I do this, people say to me, why isn't this lush and har on Israel? You you hear the the the comment. For many years, there was a large shmeir salashian event for women here in Jerusalem. Two of them, one evening for uh Hebrew speakers and one for English speakers. And uh thousands of women would come to each one. So somebody locally in Harno felt gee why are there so many um of these events for uh for women and there's none for men. So this fellow organized a local salian event for men and we always had two speakers. One speaker was always Robert Le and somebody else. Again, to use one of my favorite uh comic references, there were two comics when I was a kid. One was called World's Finest and one was called Brave and Bold. Brave and Bold was always Batman teaming up with somebody else. And World's Finest was always Superman teaming up with somebody else. Yeah. So, we always had Rab left. I don't know if he was Batman or Superman. And we always had somebody else and we had some real big names who came uh and and participated over the years. But one of the people I tried year after year to get was Robert Bulman and he wouldn't come. He always made some excuse. They they weren't very good excuses. And like I said, uh, Koschali came, Zoang, Riveness Kaplan came, uh, Rabbi Wine came, um, you know, we had we had, uh, you know, um, Israel Talbert came, we we had quite a a lineup of people who came and, um, but Ray Bulma wouldn't come. where Mendel Weinbach came uh right burkowitz came but uh but he wouldn't come so finally I you know I had this to have a relationship with Ray Bman most of it was mostly him you know giving me muser which is is a biguss to have somebody like Bulman give you muser the he was pretty young when his father died and he moved in with his grandfather kadusha rim so one boy in the kadusha came back from uh Shul and he sees this is still in bed and he starts yelling at him what are you doing you're sleeping you don't get up you misses this this is how they used to make in the old days you know you know and this gives him a whole musm and and is listening to the whole thing and when he's done he says what do you have to say for yourself he says I stayed up all night learning and I dikes [laughter] says then why didn't you say anything he goes what and miss getting mus from the [laughter] today you give people m you know people get very upset you know but oh is one of the nickn so um so I I said to I said why won't you come and listen to what he said he said I'm afraid that the current atmosphere of putting emphasis on Shmeir's halion is being used to stifle legitimate social criticism and I have to tell you that made such an impact on me because as I've mentioned more than once I have two divorced daughters and the reason they're divorced is because people lied to us and withheld information and after they got divorced Most people said, "Well, yeah, I knew about this. I knew about that." And I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to say anything. So, you know, you you wanted to have some sal because of that, I got two divorced. Why? You think you did the world a favor? You think you're a big sadic because of this? Oh, it's lash. You know who said that? who was then murdered because two people tried to warn him these two guys are going to murder you and he says so then they killed him that's sadalia because I'm such [laughter] then he got killed and he was there to hold on to the remnant of that was and then the mkanzer came after the survivors and they all had to flee to Egypt and they were all lost because he was such a sad he didn't want to hear anything. So when I would sometimes uh give these um these talks uh whatever it was and I would introduce social criticism and I would often do it by making jokes because when people are mock of something and you make fun of it, it's easier for them to see the absurdity of what they're doing or what they believe um when I used to give my sharim moti shabas so it was a fellow used to come fascinating fellow English fellow he was a practicing attorney I think he was actually a barristister barristister was high higher than a lawyer or an attorney and [snorts] uh I think then he get to wear the white wig and everything and he gave it up to become a storyteller I don't I wouldn't even call that a lateral whole career move, you know, and he'd go around to fairs and to, you know, county gatherings and stuff and he would tell stories and pass around the hat, you know, he did this for a while. Then eventually he came to fell and then became from and then he got married and he and he went back to uh to practicing law. But but for a while he did that and so he appreciated listening to stories and presentations. He understood how they worked. And he said to me once, um, "When I listen to your Shirum, what I see you do is hold up a funhouse mirror to life. You see yourself, but you're so exaggerated you have to laugh." That's what humor is, right? It's an exaggeration. You you you you you that's what when people do an impersonation if a person does an exact impersonation it's not that interesting but it's exaggerated becomes too much you know I don't know how you would imitate Gavin Newsome I don't know how to make the hands go any more than it already does but but the uh the exaggeration um is what makes it funny and makes you laugh and so it's true you see yourself and distorted and you laugh. That's that's what a fun house mirror is. Yeah. So afterwards people say to me but isn't that I said gee what do you do with how do you read iso? It's mus against cla and he said it publicly and he wrote it down and we read it for doros. How do you read yo? How do you read Treyasa? H how do you read anything where Gdolei Torah gave Mus to their generation? I I've spoken about this in the past and uh you'll you'll indulge me. Repair the Rashiva of Yeshua Faraku. I heard him on a tape once and he said, "How is it we have a phenomena called Holocaust deniers? There's so much evidence to support it and you don't find any other contemporary event that is, you know, that that there are people who try to be taken seriously by denying it. Okay, the moon landing, you know, you have people who say we never really landed on the moon, you know, okay, but I'm talking about like real people who try to, you know, go in debates and things and to discuss it. It's it's ridiculous. Deborah Lipstat, who wrote the book called Holocaust Denial. So, she says, "From time to time, I'm asked to appear on a talk show with a Holocaust denier, and I always refuse." And they say, "Uh um, don't you think people have a right to hear the other side?" And she says, "There is no other side. It's ridiculous. It's all lies. It's all distortions. I don't have to give these people any time. And you know, you don't ask a geologist to debate a flat earth uh you know, proponent that like they have a view. It's not a view at all. It's nonsense. So um uh so to to to to give credence to to a view that doesn't make any sense I'm not to do that she says but yet there are people who deny the Holocaust so says whenever there's a phenomena that takes place in the world outside it's only reflection of us. Now he didn't say this Vasam once said what a crazy idea blood liels the only people on the face of the earth who it's also for them to eat blood I spoke to Amashk once and there was a trade for Chinese restaurant that they were conuring after it closed down to make it into a kosher restaurant he goes and we found this squeeze bottle filled with blood I don't know exactly what they use that for black pudding. I don't know if they've changed the recipe, but black pudding used to be made out of blood. We're the only people who are not allowed to eat blood. We soak and salt our meat, etc. And they come up with an idea that we kill children and drink their blood. You know, doesn't make Why would anyone say such a thing? So it says I I can't say for sure but if I was pressed I would say it's because since theatim pretended that animal blood was human blood that is the basis for blood labels. That's where it comes from. That's uh that's what he suggested. So, so says repair if there's something called holocaust denial it's only because we are holocaust deniers v meant um I told the story too we used to do a tishab program here in hoof it's still going on runs it and I was involved at one point and Now I'm I'm basically uh I'm in very centers yeshiva on tishabove morning and um uh I got an incredible email from somebody who said that uh I went to that program and that was the you know that that changed my whole life and everything hashem we do some good work but I was there once and uh I I have a tendency as you can see from emails like this to say things that got myself into trouble. And I had spoken about certain topics in the past and uh people got upset at me. So I figured to take something that was innocuous and I decided I would speak on the ka of the 24 cartloads of garas that were burnt in Paris. And I use that as a jumping off point to talk about cover and based because when you come in and you find all over the place and coffee cups and dirty tissues and in Kelm they used to auction off the right to clean the base madish. Now there there were towns where the women used to used to fight for the right to be able to wash the steps of the of the basa medish of the basicus. So um uh so I was talking about this and I read a letter to the editor in the Jewish press about how people do not respect deting and it said 50 years ago what would people have given? I guess this must have been written in 1995. I suppose it's 90 94 95 somewhere around there. 50 years ago, what would a person have given to be able to dab in a minion to to to be able to have a shul when [snorts] I used to go with Niva's tours with the freeds to Europe. So, uh, when we went to Prague, we went to the, uh, what was called the the deluxe concentration camp, Terresenat, and they discovered under one of the houses a secret shaw. And they somehow figured out who it was who built it. and his grandson came along on on this trip to see his grandfather's shaw that he had made in Terzenat. And uh while we were down there, one of the people said, "Why don't we d Mina?" And we put up his grandson to Davin. It was one of the most moving experiences I've ever had. Here he's in his grandfather's shaw who made a special secret shaw in teranat to be able to dab. I mean, he says, "50 years ago, what would people have done to be able to to uh to daven um Israel Stark, who we had uh a long talk with, um it's up on my it's up on my uh channel, um about his experiences in the Holocaust." And he says there, you know, there was one night I I I'm dreaming. I hear I hear a noise and it turns out everybody's Jim Kipper Knight everyone's saying called nre to themselves you know in like a group and he he says it was so moving you know that that we had that much strength left to be able to dive in on a yam kipra to say it he says what would people have given to be able to dive in what would they have given to be able to hear ka what would they have done to be able to to answer to a kadesh and Now that we can Yeah. Um, do we appreciate it or do we talk and and and and treat our our schuls with disrespect? Maybe if we saw our shs and yeshivas turned into stables, it's because we turned them into stables. So someone from the floor says, "I must object." Now, this is not a group participation event. And he says, "Are you telling me that Lublin got turned into stables because they did something wrong? No one can question the Kadoshim." And I said, "The point I was trying to make was," and he starts crying. And he says, "I lost 80 relatives in the Holocaust, are you saying because they did something wrong, no one can question the Kadoshim? No one's allowed to say anything." And he continues crying. So I weighed my options and I decided to sit down at that point. [gasps] Not because he was right, but just because it's really hard to have a dialogue with a crying Holocaust survivor. I mean, in my experience, you know, there are certain things you just don't want to do. Yeah. But the next year or a couple years later, I don't know what it was. I spoke on the kina for the shawah, there were two of them. One was written by Shiman Schwab and and one by the ba reba. And um and I spoke about it and I addressed this point and I said my rabbi pis said the only reason that the world out there can do holocaust denial is because we deny the holocaust. You're not allowed to say there's anything that we did wrong. You're not allowed. Just bad luck. God decided to kill six million Jews for no reason. We didn't do anything wrong. There were no sadik. Well, Avict Millis famously in his shaw where they were Holocaust survivors would talk about the aes that uh that led up to the Holocaust and they would scream at him. You're defaming the memory of the kadeshim. And he says, "And you are defaming the name of a bar." We think God is random. Think he does things for no reason. But you understand it's forbidden to criticize what took place that led up to go to say it. It's user. That's called holocaust denial because it didn't happen for any reason. But we're allowed to allowed to ask why was bias rishon destroyed. They were allowed to ask why was bias sheni destroyed. They were allowed to ask why was betar wiped out. The shonum can ask why were communities wiped out in the crusades. Theum could ask why was 90% of the yidden in Eastern Europe destroyed in Takat. What a ver led to it. But this is the only tragedy you're not allowed to ask why not allowed to say anything. Linhara, what do you think? There weren't Yesus and Almanas who were killed and you dare to question them? You dare to to to say anything negative about Claw yourself? That's a Holocaust den. Not me. I'm not saying that. Yeah. And so when I get up to speak and I see a problem, I am going to stand up and say, "Rabisai, this is wrong. Don't do this. >> [snorts] >> was a story in Warsaw. I believe it was in Warsaw that there was a shoemaker and he had only one daughter and his whole life him and his wife lived very simply and scrimped and saved every penny they had. Or maybe it was cop over there, saving up their money to make their daughter the best they could. And finally she found the shik and they hired the finest hall and they had the tailor make the finest clothing and a beautiful wedding gown and they hired a horse and carriage to take them to the hall. And the wealthy people in town were upset by this upstart that was coming into their area into their uh place their special place. So they all got together and they planned. They got their dirtiest ripped shoes. And as the shoe maker and his wife all dressed with their daughter got out of the carriage, they were all standing by the entrance of the hall saying, "Can you fix these shoes? I need them by Tuesday. Can you repair them to embarrass him and destroy it?" When Salanta heard this, listen to this. When Bul Solander heard this, he said, "The Rabanim of Warsaw for the past 10 Duros are right now being brought up to din and Shamayim that they were allowed this kind of an attitude to exist in this city." You understand? Because they didn't say anything because they didn't criticize and therefore they allowed this to take place. When my time comes, I hope that a bar didn't doesn't say to me, "Orlavski, you saw problems in the world. Why didn't you say anything?" I don't like to get involved. What do you mean you don't get involved? You have a you have a forum. You talk to people. As he says in the email, people listen to you. You have a big influence. You see a problem. Why don't you say something? So I say, well, I don't want to offer up any social criticism because maybe the person who did it is an almano or yosum. Maybe I'll hurt somebody's feelings. So if the rv would have come out and yelled at these people, these rich people, maybe one of them was a ysum. Maybe he's going to hurt their feelings. So the the rub says, "Why should I criticize anybody? That's evil." I want to be very clear about this. When you see something bad, you say it. You remember they used to have those posters up in the subway. If you see something, say something. I was just in the bank. My wife and I went up to the teller and my wife left her jacket. It's a little windbreaker on on the couch and this woman comes in and says, "Does this belong to somebody?" Wife says, "Yeah, it's mine." He goes, "You know, you have to be concerned today in our show when you see something." I was like, "It's a windbreaker, you know." But she's right. She's right. You see something, say something. So in case anybody else like this reader or this listener missed the point I was making right I would never make fun of anybody. So you're comparing it to criticizing somebody's soup. I would never criticize somebody's soup, somebody's dish. I have been at places where uh the people are um are uh what's the word I'm looking for? Cooking impaired. And I I'm pretty good at food. I know something about food. There there's a reason I look the way I do. And I've got type two diabetes and heart disease. You understand? [laughter] Because I know about food. You know, sometimes I'll uh I'll go to a restaurant and my wife says, "Oh, this is so wonderful, so good." And that I don't say a word cuz I don't want to ruin the experience for her. Personally, I'm like, "Eh, [panting] I'm not going to say it." Luckily, my wife doesn't listen to the podcast [laughter] cuz she's enjoying it. So, why should I make her feel bad? And if I'm at a a meal and people serve food, yes, I'm going to compliment, etc. That's not my point. That's not my point. And if somebody wants to make a elaborate shakon because it's meaningful to them, of course, if you can make a shakonus that makes people happy, that's wonderful. So, I have a daughter who is very creative, very artistic, and I should have put it on Prozac as a child because she is just obsessive. She just is. I love her to pieces. But, but she will stay up all night, you know, making little salmon flowers, 60 of them. the second time cuz the first time they baked too long and they came out too dark. She wanted them to look pink, [laughter] you know. Okay, I love you, whoever you are who likes to bake kala napkin rings. I have no problem with that. If you think that's the best use of your time, go for it. I don't mind. I have been to homes uh on Shabas, you know, where they have mayonnaise and each one in a separate uh spritz bottle and they spritz it on the plate before they put out the filter fish. If that if that makes you happy, by all means. I have a problem with that, you know. So this daughter always says when you make shalakis besides the fact that you need a theme and the costumes have to tie into the theme it should be something that you know you're going to use afterwards you know so I give a a glass bowl I give a glass tray or you give something that you know that people are going to be able to use afterwards and remember that that's why I use a paper bag because I know that afterwards you can use that to take lunch in. So what's my point here? Do I do would I ever insult somebody and call them up and say, "Oh, why' you make such an elaborate shas for?" No. I still I still remember when uh I had a neighbor whose wife got into chocolate making and she made this all this amazing stuff out of chocolate and little things and then you know and shapes and size and sent this whole tray with this chocolates. I was like, "Wow." He delivers it. I was unbelievable. And I took a piece and I ate it. He was devastated. [laughter] No, I would just spend the and get upset if someone actually eats it. It's like these people who make these fancy cakes, you know, for a sima and then someone slices it open and they're like, you know, [laughter] why would you make a cake then? Should have just made it out of styrofoam. Why would you why would you make a big fancy cake like that? Yeah. So, um uh the answer is of course that uh the you know how's it go? The proof of the pudding is in the eating. You make nice things because you want people to enjoy it. But if you made it and you don't want anyone to use it, I think you've defeated the concept. in Mishim where Shinberg used to ask Mishma's Thursday night. So one of them was can I give as a for those of you unfamiliar with this principle it's the following I can give you a gift and that gift is yours but it only becomes yours if you return it to me that's the condition and if you don't return it to me so where does this come up it comes up with lulan um on the first day of sukus because the first day of sukus it says It has to belong to you on the first day. So someone says, "Listen, can I use your dollar?" So I it only works if I give it to him. Only problem is because you never know who you're dealing with. The person might say, "Thanks. He gave it to me as a matana. Now it's mine. I'm keeping them." So I give it to him as a it's only yours if you give it back. So this is great. I make one and I give it to somebody as a it's only becomes yours if you give it back to me. So was I yay or not? So Shinberg answers technically you are but in fact you're not because the purpose of is to bring and if I give you something and I take it away from you then before you have a chance to enjoy it then obviously it wasn't. So if you're somebody who enjoys making elaborate shakus that's wonderful. There's nothing wrong with that. My problem is that these are three major publications and the from community that people read and listen to and I know they do. I know there are people who, you know, read these suggestions and then they do it. Now, I don't know who this person is. I've met some of these people, but sometimes they set up a tablescape and you have to buy a special tablecloth and you have to buy special dishes and you have to buy special place mats and you have to buy special things to put the flowers in and special things for this and special glasses stuff. You want to say how much money you just spent on this for us because the magazine told you this would make a really impressive table and then you spent all that money. So this is what's called conspicuous consumption. You can call it materialism. You can call whatever you want. And that is wrong. Raboai when I made my PES program. So I had a choice of hotels. I've been planning this for 20 years at least. And I said I only want a three-star hotel. I don't even want a four-star hotel. Why? Cuz I want to try to keep the cost as low as possible for people. And I don't want people coming because they want to go to a fancy hotel. You want to go to a fancy hotel? Go to a fancy hotel. You don't have to come to my program. There's a program here in Erstro where they used to do it in a I don't know if it was a three star or a fourstar, but it was a pretty simple hotel and I used to go to speak there and the room was packed and then at some point they moved to a five-star hotel and I went to speak there and there were four people. Four people, two of them weren't from the hotel. They just heard I was speaking. Why? Because the people wanted to come to a fancy hotel, not for not for a program. So, as I mentioned, if you're going to spend $50 on each shakon just for the cups to stack up and then you you you you put these demands on everybody. And one of the saddest episodes of recent Jewish history were the wedding tyonists that were made in America. Yeah. People were spending ridiculous amount of money on weddings that they can't afford. So they came out and said when people were spending so much money on funerals to the point that they couldn't afford it. So was makain. I am the nussi. I have all the money in the world. I want to be buried in a simple linen shroud without any accutrants. Why? Cuz people couldn't afford to make a decent funeral. So they would take their relative and dump them in a field someplace because they couldn't make a proper funeral. And so now they make these weddings and people are expected to have to make these weddings. And you see people go into debt for a wedding for one night. When I got married, I was young and stupid. Now I'm old and stupid. But I learned a few things. And one is that if I had to do my wedding over again, boy, would I do it differently. You know how much time you sit there looking at books of invitations and then you sit there and try to work out just the right lush and this and next thing. Today I would for sure make a flyer. Come to a wedding. Where? When? You know, seating according to gifts. In fact, I would read them out loud. You know, uh $200, Mr. Schwarz. Thank you very much. $150, Mrs. Cohen. Thank you much. $18 from the Goldbergs. I guess you don't remember how much my parents gave your kid. Okay. And you know, I of course you want a fancy hall and you want a fancy this. But I do it now. I would find the cheapest possible hall and I would get the best band and a big and a big dance floor and that's it. For the main course, I won't fib must be succulent prime rib juice big and juicy filling up the plate. [laughter] If you remember the journey song about this, you know, so what happened? And so the gdole all got together and put out wedding takonas. You can only have this, you can only have that, you can only do this. And then they wrote at the bottom. But of course, if any Russia has to make an exception for a donor, they can. And so of course they made exceptions for everybody. And then the pressure was back on and the whole thing collapsed. Whereas by one of theus the p the price of the stime went up very high and the rebba called in the strimal makers and said you're going to sell a strim for $1,000 not a penny more and they said rebba we can't the prices and the fur and the work and everything's gone up you know he says no problem if you charge more than $1,000 I'm taking off mine and I'm putting on a hat. And you know what happened? Price of strength went down because when you set a standard for people, I talked about this. When you find an ad in one of these Jewish magazines that say finally a shait that your children can be proud of. When you see ads in these publications saying spend pesak in a castle. When you see ads in these magazines that say um you know for a designer you know for a Rolex or for or for an expensive car like you deserve the best. H yeah. Is that the message you want to send to the firm community? you the the voice of the f community, I'm going to call you out for it. And I don't care if that ad was taken out by a mono and I don't care if the person who's making the pes of the castle is going to be insulted that I said that is gross materialism and has no place in the from community. And I don't care if you're angry at me and you're upset because I'm going to say it. As Rab Bulman said to me, Shmere's does not mean that you stifle legitimate social criticism to insult somebody's dish to make fun of their soup at someone's house. But a magazine that is setting a standard for the Jewish community, but you might be hurting their panosa. Good. Good. Because if that's the values they want to give across, then I'm going to call them out. And I hope they close down. If the best that you can do is encourage materialism and conspicuous consumption in the FIRM community, people who you read in some of these magazines letters from people who are who are going broke trying to pay tuitions, they don't have money for this, they don't have money for that. and instead you're going to spend uh $50 on each shakon that you're sending out instead of giving that money to the local yeshiva to underwrite the cost of people who can't afford tuition that I meet people who tell me I wish I could have more children but I can't because I can't afford the tuition that we've developed a society where it's more important to spend lots of money on shalakas and at the same time encourage from people not to have children because they can't pay the tuition and I'm supposed to say well the person who wrote the article might be a man so therefore I can't say anything about it I will not be silenced when there's something wrong when there is a problem and I see it I will call it out as I see it and that's what Reverend Bulman said to me and and and I have heard speakers over the years giving muser to the from community because it's important that someone say what's right. That somebody listen to this story. It's a disturbing story like the best stories are [sighs] because you know how you get a pearl, a little piece of sand gets inside of an oyster and and irritates it. So it releases secretes this stuff to make a pearl. Yeah. Pearls of wisdom are come when you irritate people. Rabbi Foyer told me he was once in this ro tells him a story. He says, "You know, a Vic de Miller was a young Israel rabbi, you know, of the uh uh Young Israel Ocean Parkway. He was at a meeting of young Israel rabbis." Now, there was a time when the line between modern Orthodox and conservative was a little blurry. There were certain characters in the modern orthodox world who, you know, would have fit better into the conservative movement. Anyway, this guy was speaking at a young Israel rabbis meeting and he was saying fear it and the victim walked up and knocked him out with one punch [laughter] and foyer was of course surprised to hear this story and and there's a lot of questions to ask on this. One is h how did Victor Miller know how to box? He says the alt of Slovatka told him to go out and learn boxing. He says because when the boys would go down to swim by the river the go would start up with them. So he told you know Victor Miller to learn boxing. So when he would go down with them and when the guy would start up he would knock them out and they start picking on the Jewish kids. Yeah. Anyway, as this fell is telling the story, there was an old rv there and he starts crying and the rv looks him and says, "What what what are you upset about?" You know he says I was at that meeting and as a Victor Miller was walking up he says to me this is fra we have to stop it and I didn't go and the victim Miller did now I don't know maybe that r was a yosum he's saying kira he's saying something's wrong says you deal with it you don't just sit back and say well [laughter] no as salanta says any rub who nobody wants to run out of town is not a rub but any rub who lets him get self get run out of town is not a man so I make no apologies there's nothing I said and I want to tell you it was name as sure as I didn't that I didn't mention the names of the magazines And I'm sure everybody can figure it out for themselves. And I don't care cuz they published it that I didn't write this. I didn't make it up. They put it in their publication because they felt it's a great thing to encourage the firm community which let's be perfectly honest is overwhelmed. Everybody I talked to today is overwhelmed. Can I know how we have big families? There's a lot of financial uh considerations. Both parents work. You have to come back. You have to learn. You have to dive in. You have to take care of your kids. You have to help them with their homework. You know, you have to make a perm this that. And now I should spend hours and hours on some elaborate shakas. And because everybody else does it, it puts that pressure on you. I've told this story beforehand. My kid was three years old and he was going to gun and they said, "Everyone has to come with a costume." Okay. So, my wife put on a red uh jogging suit on him, you know, little one of those little kid jogging suits. Thought it looked royal. Took an apron tied around his neck. Kilo was uh Kilo's cape. Made himself a little crown out of aluminum foil and a little shvit out of aluminum foil. put some makeup on him, you know, and sent him his and he's waiting for the tender to come and pick him up and it pulls up with the cast from a uh historical drama. Everybody has these professional costumes [laughter] and my kid my kid's face collapses. He's three years old. I have to spend 50 bucks on a on a on a professional costume. So he comes back from gone and my wife says, "So how was gone?" He goes, "Oh, this one was this, this one was that, this one was this." Goes, he goes, "And and Yosi, he was a ver." He goes, "You are a ver." He says, "No, he had he had a real costume. I was just nothing." So, are we bad parents because we didn't spend 50 bucks on a professional costume? Or is everybody else nuts? I'm going to call it out every time I see it. And you can count on me. Those of you who listen to me know I will always tell you the truth. I will always be honest with you. I will never pull my punches because the person I'm criticizing might be a yossum. I will call out institutions and and and organizations and and businesses and anything else even though I might hurt their panosa if what I think they're doing is wrong. And I'm going to always be the voice that says to Clay Israel, this is wrong. Rabai can't punch anybody out. Not that I would, but I'll just hurt myself. But uh I I I think it's important that we tell the truth and and we criticize it and and the people who walk around and say it's loan horror that's exactly what Ra Bulman was afraid was going to happen. Okay, it's after pace. It's after Porum. I assume everybody like me has a hangover and so you know why not why not spend a little time fetching. [laughter] And now some appreciation comments. [laughter] Dear Rabbi Alowski, your lectures are a great inspiration for me, my family. You have impacted us positively. We live on a farm in Kentucky. I'm so happy that I'm reaching out to my fellow Yet in Kentucky and I enjoy listening to your shows while I milk the goats. Oh, this can't be real. Clean the barn. I simply sit down with a cup of tea. I love you. If this is true, I love you. If you just made it up, I love you, too. [laughter] We appreciate your podcast. Do you guys have internet out there? I must be a starink. Anyway, we appreciate your podcast. Enjoy your sense of humor. Hashem should bench you for all time and put uh that that all the time you put into this. Thank you. And now Mikat Alcat. Yeah. Hi Rabiowski. I'm just another one of those typical Bay Yakov girls who live on a farm in Kentucky. [laughter] Just kidding. And I wanted to thank Raviolski for his terrific podcast that is always sure to put me in a good mood and make me laugh. Whenever my siblings see me walking around laughing hysterically, they always know exactly who I'm listening to. Thank you so much for all the Torah and Similski brings to me and all the rest of his listeners. You are welcome. Hi, it's David Rhodess again. Hi, you have made my life more meaningful. Thank you for answering my questions on Kabola. I never dreamed I would see my question answered by the greatest and funniest rabbi of all time. And also you [laughter] by any chance if you have any free tickets for the Pesak program, you know where to send them. Thank you. I don't have a room. Forget about free rooms. I can't sell you I can't even sell you a room except there's still some rooms for the first days of PES for the Seda. PS. My mom was a seminary student of yours in Darabina and listens to your podcast almost as much as me. Galdic. Uh it is nice to know that uh you know I'm my students children and maybe my students grandchildren are listening to this show and enjoying it. And uh that's it for this episode. I have to I have to go now and take a take a pill. [laughter] If you want to find out more about the show, you can go to my website, rolowski.com. You can sign up for one of my sh This has happened a few times now cuz uh things are a little bit in flux with how things are being handled. But sometimes people tell me they sign up and then they never hear anything. Please email me directly rabbi rabbiowski.com. If you signed up for a share and you didn't get the sign up information, I will send it to you poisonally. I will poison it to you. Uh we still have the ladies masil shasharm on Mondays. We have the men's uh dafomi every morning [music] and we have uh the share for everybody on Sundays. Um we went to msvativ. My gosh you have no idea how much depth there is to misviat. [music] I spent so long in in krishma that I I you know I I never went the Ian into msvyativ. It is mind-blowing how much stuff there is. Anyway, um and that's it. You can sponsor an episode, sponsor a uh question and answers, [music] sponsor a par five. So that's it for now. Until next time, this is David Olowski and this has been the Rabbi Olowski show. >> It's the Rabbi Orlosski show. Torah and Simka, ready to go. The Rabbi Olowski show. Knowledge and wisdom will help you grow. Lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme though. It's the Rabbi orski show on Rabbi orski.com to anytime you [music] and more. It's the Rabbi orski show. Torah and ready to go. It's the Rabbi Orlavski show. Till next time, till we meet again. It's the Rabbi Olowski show. It's the Rabbi Olowski show. It's the Rabbi Olowski show.